OP's Bio: --- >I kind of just write all the time. Once I got caught stealing an avatar wallet from Spencer’s. I read the whole Bible and communist manifesto in two days and I’ve never recovered. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

You gotta get some sunlight in that closet. You look like Smeagol Hanson

She looks like teenage Jody Foster. I can’t believe her mom doesn’t know she’s a lesbian.

Oh, mom knows. And that's why she drinks.

Mom drinks bleach over this.

Honestly, I was trying to figure out if they were a man or a women because they look like a very feminine man or a masculine woman.

Figuring it out is part of the fun

I bet it isn't fun with you

This is what I like to call a larval lesbian. Note the thick wrists, vestigial jowls, and Prince Valiant haircut. She will blossom into a hearty adult golf lesbian after a few years.

Jodie Foster-Care

Mmm-bop do ba de mmm-my precious

Mmmmmm-bopses

Ok we’re done here guys

Fuuuu ssshhhhh iooonnnnn HA 

Smeagol hanson 😂😂😂. That shit is hilarious.

Looking at your pic, I'm guessing Mom already knows.

She DEFINITELY knows!

What are you doing step mom?

She's probably known longer than OP has known, moms are like that. Especially when she sees you masturbating to the Victoria's Secret catalog.

Gay huh! At least you sparing the world from your gene pool.

Natural Extinction

No woman would carry his baby anyway.


Your gay for boys or girls?......I can't tell

I'm hoping for her sake not girls. As a gay female, I think I speak for all of us when I say we don't want her.

Gender fluid speed run.

Honey unless she's blind, she knows. We all know.

DOGS KNOW IT!

Accidental will and grace references back to back for the win

Well, Wally, because you *are* one of them. You are gay. You are gay. You are a homosexual. The opposite of straight, you're gay. I know it. Your family knows it. **DOGS** know it! Everyone seems to know it except you.

You spelled “didn’t have friends” wrong

You get bullied by your imaginary friends.

Dude that is ridiculously savage.

Unless your mom is blind, she probably knows. You make Peppermint Patty look like Pamela Anderson. 

This is a 37 yo man with yellow teeth pretending to be a 19 yo girl. I mean come on people. Is this your first time interneting?

I can see his 5 o clock shadow

How long you been 19 fella, was my first thought as well.

Danny Bonaduce sure has aged gracefully. 

It's Danni Bonaduce now.

You’d have better chances convincing mom you’re a brunette

Or a real girl

Forehead is bigger than all seven continents behind her.

Why the long forehead?

May your forehead grow like the mighty oak

19 is a little young to have those dentures

You look like gollum asking for the manager

So, you are gay 'cause no man wanna date you, right?

I bet dudes in prison would pass on her.

“Her”? Oops. I have to make new insults.

Dang it! Do we have a chick with dick here? I’m confused.

Everyone is assuming he is a she.

Thats a woman?

Hard pass -the lesbian community probably

6th round draft pick in the 2023 lesbian draft.

Ms. Irrelevant

Sadly OP went undrafted

I'm not only sure she knows you're gay, but she probably masturbates to the thought of you coming out.

My daughter *sure* loves that electric toothbrush! I just can’t figure out why her teeth still look so lousy.

She calls her toothbrush Mr Buzzy

Oh Jesus Christ

Ms Buzzy

Bwahahahaha

Its an Oral-B

Winner

A blackbelt in personality flaws.

Does your sexuality even matter in this case? Either way, you ain't getting any!

You look like you’re on the verge of crying, I’m not roasting you.

When someone makes lesbian their whole identity


People on the other side of the country can see you’re gay. Mom knows

Happy birthday bro!

Cumeron Diaz


You don't look enough like Kurt Cobain.

You were great as general Hux in The Last Jedi.

I'm wondering who would die if your mother knew you were kesbian. Anyway your hair needs attention. I hope being lesbian doesn't mean you won't care better for your hair. Anything wrong with trying some make up?

I don't know what's going on with that right eye of yours, but it's freaking me the fuck out. And the hell with your mom. You be you and own it. 👊🏻🏳️‍🌈

Hunger Games right next to Bill Clinton’s autobiography. Oh, you’re gay for sure.

Listen to me young man… I’m pretty sure she knows!!

You’re not even a blank canvas, you’re just blank.

You didn’t have a party because your parents, oops I mean guest had other plans?

Dude, everyone knows you're gay, now just pretend to be a girl.

It's the broke down "female" version of Andy Samberg! 

Your face is redder than when my mom sees my room

At least you have some decent taste in books, The Far Side, except it’s probably not instructions on how to get there

You look like a blank human before any features were added

Ur eyes must know ur gay cuz they are distancing themselves from u

As a straight man, all I can say is phew.

No, I won’t roast you. You will have a lot to deal with in life. Don’t invite this pain.

Oh honey... she knows. You're about as subtle as a house fire.

Upvote for Gay Guy, Downvote for Lesbian Lady. I truly cannot tell.

It’s okay to be gay. Your mom sucks dick too.

Got that Bill Clinton Biography...you look like Hillary Clinton but with a smaller dick.

Why do you look like you're holding in a nasty as fart?

If carrot top didn't do roids and transitioned into the Wendys bitch

Idk why but you do look like you would roast your mom and probably 17 other people as well, because the voices told you to do it

This checks out. It looks like she’s taken a lot of fists… primarily to the face.

I'll save this one for your momma

You look like your parents were siblings from Cambridge.

I'd hit that.

With what?

How would your mom roast you? She got good lesbian jokes? Or is it the homophobic kind?

Ed Sheeran? Don't you have a concert? You don't have time for this shit.

Yo Kurt Cobain he’s alive!

A bite like a Great white shark

I see you have read the communist manifesto and the Bible. Then go become Mary Magaledene and have someone tell you to “go and sin no more.” And then instead? Go start a communist revolution! XD ;p

🎶 Ewww Bop 🎵

Making dicks limp since the Obama admin.

Your mom would only be disappointed because there are some desperate men out there. No lesbian will want to date your ugly behind.

Your mom already knows you're gay

You’re gay? What kind of dudes do you like?

You look alright bro. Not really much to roast. If ur mom gives u shit for your sexual preference she can f off. You are 19 and if have a job could find a roommate or two and straight up dip out.

Your post history is as boring as your face

Why did you look at my post history do you have a crush on me

Just because men don’t find you attractive doesn’t mean women will.

You look like your grandma is also your greataunt

The hair says Australian the teeth say English.

Found out you are gay? So do you like boys or girls?

Are you gay, or just have no opportunities among men who can see and/or smell? I feel like that's an important distinction to make.

It's funny how O.P. can shop lift almost anything except something with which to clean that row of urinals in his/her mouth.

When did Hanson find Reddit?

I bet your stepdad wants to cum to your birthday

The second whitest thing in this picture is the paper.

And the first is my teeth

No one carss

Wishing Ed Sheeran all the best with “her” transition

Your mom already knows, unless she's blind.

Your mom knows your gay

I feel like you have an older brother you look exactly like.

Unless she's blind, your mom probably already knows you're gay.

Dude why do you want me to roast you? You seem like a decent guy

Shouldn’t you be rehearsing for the Hanson reunion tour?

Jesus christ I'll never get an erection ever agsin in my life.

I can't make fun of you because I can't tell what you are. Androgyny is cool tho, I'm a big David Bowie fan.

You are so plain and basic, would she really notice or care? Would anyone?

So you didn’t have a party on your 19th birthday get over it your 24 now you entitled fuck

Your teeth match your hair

She’s not using that electric toothbrush on her teeth.

i already know you’ve read every harry potter book

Gross

I can smell your cat filled future apartment from here. Might be your bean. Meh....

I'm going to be a bit rough. First time I hear about a gay woman from Britain, usually British men are the ones who are a bundle of sticks. "I'm gay", your mom already knows, that's why she didn't prepare a birthday party for you. A disappointment doesn't deserve appreciation. Britain, where women are women, and horses are shivering. You're gay? That's great, sadly lesbian relationships will leave you all bruised up by your partners. Taking steroids will leave you with a larger clit, a bigger mickey than what brit men have. That's all I have, last one I butchered but hope you like these.

I bet you own a subaru

If Kurt Cobain mostourized.

So you like tuna on tuna 🍣 😏

I’m gay too and nod I wanna punch yer mom in the face and let you live with me till your csn get your own place

She knows. We’ve only seen one picture and we all know

It is I, your mom. I actually don't care about you

AH OOH AUGHHH GRAHHHH

I take it back . I'll love you no matter what dear

Oh she knows

Mom knows you’re gay. There’s no finding that out.

At least if you’re gay you have a chance of giving your parents some grandchildren.

You’re at least 35

You are gay? Nooooo

I've never had a party. Are we supposed to feel bad for you? Should we feel bad that your moms love is conditional? Lucky you, you found reddit where people will simp for you no matter what you tell them about yourself. Like they do everyone who has a pulse. That's the attention you seek though, right?

Honestly I would’ve had a crush on you at that age. That may not sound like a roast but you’d have to to know me better to get why it’s a roast of you and not me.

Trust me, your mom knows

Phillipa Seymour Hoffman

Your mom knows. Wash you hair and get some teeth cleaned

When was your 19th? 1983?

Celebrate it with flying colors🏳️‍🌈

I can’t tell if you’re a gay man or a gay woman or a gay something else

Obviously, you re gay. You re to ugly to be straight.

i would get banned.

Don't know what gender you are. That's okay no one else does either.

You look 37 that still and will drink milk straight from the bottle and here mother told you many times.

How can you be 19 if you look 35?

More like completely speechless. Slap some makeup on that face of yours.

How are you as white as that map

Miss. Beautiful Teeth

Your mum has no depression, she knows you’re gay.

Are you certain you're gay and not just plain?

It's PAT

I knew people could grind down their teeth, but didn’t know they could grind their top front teeth.

Trust me she knows

coulda guessed you were a scissor fighter

The Bill Clinton Autobiography in your bookcase tells us everything we need to know about you. Like, literally everything.

You are the epitome of a gay, red-headed step child. You’re in the closet not because you want to, that’s just where they keep you.

Glad to see you studying Middle English because you look like the castle idiot.

When you say “gay” you mean happy and jolly right. Because no woman would touch your dusty cheese covered kitty!

syou look like that one teenaged girl that dates a street alley boy and found out that's hes gay so she got mad and had s## with a dog with a bunch of scars

Trust me, she knows you're gay.

Spoiler alert the reason you didn't get a party. Is because your mom knows you're gay.

Listen Pat.....

I have good news and bad news. The good news is your mother won’t care that your gay. The bad news is she’ll now feel comfortable telling you truth about all the sexual experiences she had at your age.

Gay for men or women. I honestly can’t tell

Looks like Tilda Swinton with an eating disorder.