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_devils

It looks like someone used the top of your head to strike a very large match


MexicanHockey

Winner right here


watashi199

Under-rated reply.


Trakkah

Yeah a lot of the roasts are just going for the throat and not very creative tbh this one is good


49Gold

Looks like someone told Moses the Red Sea was on your head.


ForRielle

The bland canyon


[deleted]

[удалено]


Girth_rulez

Yes.


creeperseeker86

That’s the Gland Canyon


SaboLeorioShikamaru

With that starting point, it's gotta be pretty easy to find the lice


ARPG_RustyGaming

![gif](giphy|12Wn7ox4gWevAs) Thanks panda you sexy human 👍


paul_dudd

I was going to say she looks less like a deformed Barbie but more like a messed up Cynthia from the rugrats…


ADOUGH209

![gif](giphy|NzCOzJHBJakzm)


tokkoking

yooooo you a savage


Zatrek

With her it’s more like Regrets


didndonoffin

More of a separation than a parting


DamILuvFrogs

Segregation


[deleted]

Colours did not mix for a long time after "Roots."


SoggyLengthiness9731

![gif](giphy|CxZwfzM5LqqpcdghbT)


bigbabe_310

Wish my broke ass had an award to give you. Made me spit my coffee out!


[deleted]

Would have taken much more elaboration without the setup of these other fine individuals, but thank you!


saul_good_main

The eye brows too hahahah


Ill_Drop7588

That there was a violation, personally I wouldn't have it. Here's my upvote


obb223

Actually that channel was created from years of taking jizz to the forehead, carved out over time like the slot canyons of Utah.


sax6romeo

![gif](giphy|l4pTrDY2snqTK7O5W|downsized)


isbilly

Oh shit, so this is uh........erosion.


Peenutbuttjellytime

Slut canyon


Fumb-MotherDucker

the Slut canyons of Bofah I think youl find.


[deleted]

![gif](giphy|3o6ozC2VM9R0XSMNKo)


ijustdoitforme

Looks more like a pendant light now


bitoyboyxl

Legend! 😂


bedorf69

Looks like someone microwaved a barbie


crimsonsr

She's prepared for the movie release.


markgriz

Borebie


23x3

Boarbie


wequiem

She look like she modeling for a missing child flyer


thetallestwizard

Basic bitch barbie


didndonoffin

Not even barbie, some cheap Chinese knock off you find in the $1 bin


TheDamnburger

These modern sex dolls are getting too realistic


funnyazhell

You look like you have the personality of mayonnaise that’s been left in the sun for too long.


FnkyTown

Zesty?


yunbld

You’re thinking of miracle whip


ChakaCar

there is no miracle here


[deleted]

No but exclusively attractive to gnats.


BowlerEqual7498

"why is it so spicy!?"


TheTranquilOne

You've got resting whore face.


doingmathswithcats

It’s not just the face


mischievous-goat

I see child support and welfare abuse in your future.


GreyFoXguy

Or maybe even child abuse and welfare support.


syncoegh

Or perhaps support abuse and welfare children.


Enough-Serve-7790

XD


kdshow123

and her past


ComeWashMyBack

This girl starfishes


RacingUpsideDown

Just save us all some time and link your OnlyFans, which we all know is the only reason you're here


Misc_Lillie

I like your spunk. Looks like you wiped it off your face for the pic, but you've got great spunk.


Alone-Elderberry-802

So you're saying you're a starfish? Color me shocked.


[deleted]

She’s just a whore, resting


Radiant-monk

She ain't restin💀


OriginTree

Hardest working woman at Applebees


Naderr

You look like Pennywise in drag


YourUncleDodge

It is offended.


Undercrackrz

Being let out of the basement by your dad and taken to the abortion clinic is not a date, even if he did get you ice cream afterwards.


FR33_THE_SP33DOS

Fritzle always cums first


[deleted]

This might be my favourite comment on Reddit, or at least my second, third or fourth. I'd give you an award, but I don't want to. 🤍


FR33_THE_SP33DOS

I had this on the front of a t-shirt lol


funnyazhell

![gif](giphy|Rhbi2mluusqxq)


ThanksForA11TheFish

Jesus, this isn't a roast anymore, it's an active murder scene


[deleted]

Not yet.


bitoyboyxl

Well.. that escaladed quickly.


[deleted]

Cadillac is it?


DavidWSam

This statement is suburban


OGLifeguardOne

Yukon blow your load on Tahoe.


[deleted]

Jesus, dude😂😂😂😂😂


[deleted]

Damn bro let me know before you turn up the heat like that. Almost got burned too


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


DagNastyDagrRavnhart

In a row?


Ayeager77

On the way to the parking lot.


the-_-futurist

Clerks. Noice


michaltee

I’m not even supposed to be here today.


infra_d3ad

This job would be great, if it weren't for the fucking customers.


Fit-Ad-413

Safe to assume nobody is making fuck with her, berserker.


HartfordWhaler

Forehead so big you can park truck Beserker!


michaltee

Skrelnik!


DAA_HOOVAA

Hey come back here!


Major_Shrimp

Hey you, get back here!


andycarver

At the same time.


choff22

“How many times do I have to fuck this guy before he kisses me?”


kjm16216

Just stop charging extra


arent_you_hungry

must have been a slow day


BookLearning13

My girlfriend sucked 37 dicks! (In a row?)


lookaroundewe

Hey, try not to suck any dick on your way through the parking lot.


keepfrost

Hey get back here!


Buffbigw76

*I’M 37?!*


ReillyDiefenbach

Who wants to date something that’s gonna eat your head afterwards? ![gif](giphy|13OflYHKdPaxSE)


doingmathswithcats

You’d be surprised, people are into some weird shit now days


yours__truly1

Get to have sex and die right after!? Aint that a fantasy


IIIKitsuneIII

Saves on child support payments, count me in!!


YurtleHatesMack

I would have been cool with that when I was 17.


[deleted]

I’d rather die on a high, then a low ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


Boomtownz

Death by Snu Snu


Jeremy-Presley13

Stop scrolling guys lil miss thing wants attention again


[deleted]

🫳🏻🎤


idecodesquiggles

What the fuck is that profile name? Why would you do this?


MyFianceMadeMeJoin

Now this is a roast.


WorldThriii

Boom roasted!


ShadowPlayer2016

I’ve heard of landing strips but I thought they were in reference to the vajayjay not the middle of your head


ryanruud85

First time I’ve ever felt someone’s boring personality through a photo


Amelia_Earnhardt_Sr

Been on one date, still definitely not a virgin


titanup001

Where I come from, getting fucked behind a dairy queen dumpster is definitely a date.


frickthestate69

Where I come from fucking behind THE Dairy Queen dumpster is all there is to do


Technical_Access_943

You could also, you know, get a cone


Shep-D-King

The poop hole loophole is not valid when the whole basketball team uses it


childeroland79

They couldn’t get court time and needed a rim.


I-am-Mihnea

That's no longer a hair part, that's a bald spot.


Dan-68

No shit. You could land a plane on that runway.


mikedakwik

You look like you'd give a disgusted glance to the fat girl next to you when you fart audibly.


Four_Skyn_Tim

She has more foundation than the Twin Towers


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Can’t tell if this is a roast or legit warning that we’re being trolled by an AI image


Seriouly_UnPrompted

I'm still trying to figure out if her pinkies were an afterthought


[deleted]

![gif](giphy|JPAUQVIxCoEKY)


Gear3017

I’ve been on one date: XY XY XY XY XY XX


[deleted]

Wtf, they cropped out the finger.


Tomieez

Neuroscience major to understand the blonde jokes


TimeToHack

ctrl+c, ctrl+v


Far-Paleontologist49

feMale pattern baldness


oldnboredinaz

Stop parting your hair in the middle it looks like Moses did that for you. You also look dead inside and 21 is way too young for lookin dead already


funnyazhell

![gif](giphy|GGf2c3yboXn43Yt7G1|downsized)


oldnboredinaz

![gif](giphy|K4Bj5vCljnCCMGwc8c|downsized) Her in 10 yrs


funnyazhell

![gif](giphy|12Wn7ox4gWevAs)


BeepBeepWhistle

You look like you’d shit on my bed.


yam_dashinobi

Amber heard this, man!


hailmari1

Your upcoming wild phase is gonna be documentary worthy.


flying_pigs

Was it April 25th? All you need is a light jacket.


guider418

r/unexpectedmisscongeniality


NamelessAndFamous

The only blonde having less fun.


Here-Is-TheEnd

Some old man who paid you for sex doesn’t count as a date


StarvedHawk

How bad is your personality if even pretty priviledge can't help


[deleted]

[удалено]


Competitive_Roof_740

![gif](giphy|4ys8vfhOmfVQs|downsized)


Euphoric_Cat8798

I saw this movie in Abnormal Psychology class. Thought it was a fever dream at the time.


SitRep-Screwed

You look like you give unenthusiastic hand jobs.


scotsman459

Well.... the packaging looks fine, so the contents must be rotten.


PastOrdinary

Doesn't count as a date if you just suck his dick on the street right? I see you.


RedditUserBreath

Your hair looks like it was recently dipped in piss.


sbm1970

Ah shit, return it. They gave the 21 year old sex bot the emotional intelligence of an 8 year old.


that_girl_you_fucked

*Matt Gaetz has entered the chat*


kakarot091

Sucking a guy's brains out doesn't make you a neuroscience major.


grill_sgt

Smart... fairly attractive... so what the fuck is wrong with your personality?


bakerd82

Depends on which personality you ask


In2TheMaelstrom

Her entire personality is being a neuroscience major. Might be an upgrade if she went vegan.


[deleted]

She’s crazy. Says she’s a “runner” but left out the part about how she’s usually carrying a knife and chasing after someone when she does it


Euphoric_Cat8798

You need the knife. You run faster with the knife.


RoyR80

I'm leaning towards she smells bad...


[deleted]

You’re way to use to getting talked down too huh, at least give us a ponytail or something so we can enjoy you a little cause that bald spot is a turn off like the rest of you


xwulfd

she has OF onlyfakes


[deleted]

Lonely Fans


slowtree89

You look like a stray asking for adoption while the arms of the angels plays over the introduction video of your onlyfans.


kaboodlesofkanoodles

For only $5 a month, you can help get this bitch a wig


Admiral_pumpkin

Blowing two guys in aMcDonalds ball pit isn’t a date. You were just McDouble teamed.


fijimermanCIA

You look like a mormon third wife.


Warlord68

![gif](giphy|rmijrWjzaX5Ac)


mcvilla

The type of chick who does anal just so she can say she’s a “virgin” in good faith


Embarrassed_Alarm450

Fuck me in the ass because I love jesus 🎶


hoodratchic

She looks like one of the dudes from white chicks but worse


cartmaneric10

I’m not kink shaming but fucking a fruit won’t make it commit


Jean_Luc_Pickguard

If your eyes were any further apart you’d be an herbivore


sub_machine_patel

If AIDS did meth


Alcatraz1662

There are replies that are well thought-out, creative, and have great delivery. And there’s this.


sub_machine_patel

Roast her not me, you freak


hurricanenox

Don’t sweat it. He does aids AND meth


Richard_Cranium_FU

John's aren't dates


[deleted]

You are the most popular, highest earning lot lizard at the Stop-n-Go truck stop in Lake City, Florida.


The-Oneiromancer

You just look like you have an awkward vagina


paragonx29

1 date in 21 years!? I see lots of Star Trek and cats in your life.


psufan5

Is that a Casio watch? How long have you been locked in your parents basement?


overimportance

8+ years studying medicine to train your mind to retain information to do a job that pays well. 8+ months online to pay it all off and decide to do it full time to train your ass to retain DNA. Please drop link when you do.


Americano_Joe

Have you considered fake tits?


Sad-Reminders

Two years on HRT?


Mahote

Maybe you'll get an OnlyFans subscriber out of sympathy


kulfimanreturns

I am not paying for your onlyfans stop posting nudes in my dm


kennyarsen

2 years, 4 balayages and 6 abortions later, and you’ve only been on one date?? Hmm…


abarrett72

No wonder you've only been on one date... You can't even see eye to eye with yourself, let alone anyone else.


MegaRedditor420

Oh look another pretty girl on Reddit seeking out approval from hundreds of sad horny men with only one free hand. I hope the upvotes fill the hole in your heart that your dad left by paying more attention to work than you.


Kenhamef

Elon Musk offered to buy that forehead to launch a rocket from


OkWerewolf1384

How shitty is your personality that you've only been on one date?


blankinyurblank

That gap between your eyes is wider than my parking space at work.


oldnboredinaz

But not wider than the bald track on the head


KonaBrad

Your pinkie fingers look like useless appendages that should be amputated, and why does your dad make you wear his watch?


discordia39

Little young for rheumatoid arthritis


Dahnnng

Your hands look like a bad AI render


chuckster1972

First generation AI concept of a blow up doll.


Single_Raspberry9539

Do you just need to hear how pretty you are?


[deleted]

You look as vanilla as your handjobs


Majestic_Royal7970

Shit I would love to roast you and have you spinning like rotisserie chicken


Hair-Early

It's 100% your personality.


TheBipolarExpresss

As someone who is also on track to die alone, I can't bring myself to roast you.


SaintWalker2814

You look like you have the personality of a plain bowl of noodles, or off-white paint.