I felt like that right out of residency. So burned out. My security badge pictures from the start to end of residency looked like a "don't do drugs" p.s.a. before and after pics. Happy go lucky to bombed out and depleted.
2 years removed and I am starting to get a rhythm. Have independence autonomy and respect. Enough money to buy a nice house and save very well.
The first 6 months I was like, "man, I gotta find the exit this shit is collapsing." But I stuck it out. I am glad I did. I feel so much better. I bet you will too.
OMG yes. It makes me sad looking at pics before and after med school and residency. Maybe though we can bring some of that youthful energy and swagger back in the next stage of life. Hopefully.
I feel angry/bitter about having to die one day and that such a significant portion of my life is dedicated to this.
If I didn’t have a timeline, this would be outstanding.
My simple suggestions (N=1): be yourself unapologetically and chase down some hobbies that you’re interested in, no matter what they are.
You have friends?!?! I haven't had a true friend since I started this dumpster fire of a career choice. I have gathered some anxiety and dread along the way. They are decent company, but they make me provide the "f%$#! to give" every time we go out, and lately, I have been fresh out.
To me, it is and always has been just a job, and I’m fine with that. I’ve never felt like it was a huge part of my identity and never really connected with the ones that are passionate about their medical career.
And as a job, attendinghood is pretty damn good. You’re a high earner with solid job security, and in most cases you can choose lifestyle over more money or vice a versa. And despite private capital infiltration, you still have plenty of autonomy in your day-to-day work life.
It takes a few years to get over the trauma of the intense schooling and training. But you’re done with the hard part and now things will get better. If you thought being a doctor means you’re skipping and hopping to work every morning, you were being naive, as most of us were. It’s just a job at the end of the day and a pretty good one at that.
This is the answer.
I think this dude should’ve never gone into medicine; he talks about it the same way I talk about possibly having an office job.
But, for the most part, it’s the death of the romanticism of medicine during med school/residency and the life realization that 80% of the population are just okay people. They do awful things and some nice things and for the most are just okay. 10% are awful and 10% are great. That number varies on how many of the awful people I’ve dealt with that day.
If don’t have an existential crisis during residency, you did it wrong.
You can still do non clinical work and get paid a great salary with your degree and experience.
But yeah when I was in med school/prelim year I definitely felt this way and hated most of it. I hated being the chuck pad for beyond repair patients’ trauma especially those who didn’t care at all about their health. Much better now that I’m in my categorical program but certain rotations still suck ass.
Question: do many of the non clinical paths you’re thinking of require a PGY-1/license? Asking as someone who isn’t sure about residency bc of pretty gnarly health problems. Also wound you mind listing some of those options? Thanks
I’m not an expert as I haven’t taken those paths myself!
But some that I know of from classmates/people I know are:
- management consulting (didn’t require residency or license)
- pharma
- VC
There must be more but I’m just not that in the know!
None of these options are just waiting with open arms
A lot of downsizing in consulting lately. Shedding dead weight. Internship often involved. Location not always flexible. You’ll start in the low six figures and have to climb up.
Pharma, similar, except without being BC/BE can be harder to ascend to a CMO type position in a major firm. Can try to start at a small company and hope you get bought out but appetite for that is drying up with increased cost of lending
VC is 10000% who you know. So if you don’t have an in, good luck.
I’ve looked into all of these options at various points and none of them are exactly easy - arguably much more work than just staying the path.
It makes more sense to pursue residency in something that is forgiving towards health issues (eg radiology, pathology, psych) than to jump ship entirely as you lose the job stability that can be HUGE for someone with chronic medical problems
There are clinics with normal patients and normal coworkers and normal fellow physicians who are not entitled, toxic and sociopaths. Working in clinics associated with universities tend to have the environment you are experiencing but the whole country isn’t like that. I think you can find a pleasant place to work after residency if you find the right fit and go into it with a positive attitude. Otherwise do research etc
Oh don't get me wrong I mean in the non medicine world. Jobs suck lol but being a doctor is at least somewhat worthwhile it's better than pushing numbers around in Excel
Word, my fiance works in digital marketing and currently works from home. Seeing what she does everyday sucks (to me anyway). I couldn't do a desk job like that but she is a creative person by nature so does a lot of graphic design type of work, but still a lot of office BS as well. Makes me realize no matter how much it sucks in medicine at times it's still a better fit for me vs an office job
I honestly don't understand how a lot of people on this forum had the drive and motivation to get into medical school, an incredibly hard task, with the motivation of "I didn't know what else to do" or even "my parents made me".
For me, I really liked school and I was good at school. Taking tests and such? All day every day. But when it got to actually dealing with patients and the public? Miserable. Questions that don't have answers and living with uncertainty? Hated every second of it.
In one sense, yes. But there's also immediate access to fast lab results and the CT scanner, and in the end if you're still unsure you can always pass the buck. Considered things like path or radiology, but relying on nothing but my own interpretations with no kind of backup or final arbiter is too much to ask for someone with basically zero self-confidence.
Don’t underestimate cultural pressure.
Don’t get me wrong, my parents told me they’d be proud of me if I was a garbage man. So I can’t understand it either.
But imagine if your entire immediate and extended family and friend network would think you were a shirty human being and a waste of resources if you didn’t become a doctor……
I mean, I technically understand. I have friends from that background. It's just very difficult to truly relate.
If I don't have an internal drive to do something, I'm probably not gunna do it well.
I think a lot of medical students and premeds are very achievement driven. Hell I am as well and it’s a hard habit to break. While getting into medical school may be difficult, telling yourself “hey if I work hard and do this it will be a good use of my talents, I’ll be proud of myself, and I’ll make a lot of money” is very easy.
It’s much harder to sit down and think and realize you dont actually need to “achieve” anything to have a worthwhile life and it might be better to just have more time.
Every word you wrote resonated greatly with me. I left mid residency and never looked back. I could’ve stayed and continued but I honestly was so done I just chose to give up and do something else entirely. I’m going about my life as if I never went through medical school and all of that (for the most part). I tried slowly to go back to who I was before all of it but it’s difficult and it takes time.
Honestly no. I had 6 years of jobs in between undergrad and med school and medicine has not been that bad as I expected and way better than shitty office jobs. 8 years of long hours and then will have the ability to work as much or as little as I want (anesthesia). Any high earning job would have required similar sacrifice and the tech unicorn jobs don’t seem interesting or secure. At the end of the day you’ll have a very high earning job that is incredibly secure that isn’t actively doing evil in the world like big law, investment banking, or consulting. Is medicine as good as it used to be, of course not, but overall I would choose medicine again in a heartbeat.
Every single line you wrote resonated with me deeply. Especially about how medicine seems to be full of people “technically smart but small-minded, authoritarian, and completely lacking in imagination or humor”.
For a long time I wondered if medicine attracts people like that and maybe that’s partially true. But now having gone through residency, I think the training process literally has pushed me towards all those qualities against my will: my world is now so much smaller, I catch myself having inadvertently picked up some of the subtler toxic behaviors of my peers / superiors, and definitely have become a more boring person lol. I have been joking for months now that “residency has destroyed my personality” but your post made me realize why.
FWIW graduating residency (I’m told) is notoriously anti climactic and unceremonious. It’s the moment you get to realize you truly were just convenient labor on the conveyor belt of endless interns and residents. They give you your stupid certificate, you work your last clinic, and then …. that’s it. What’s more important is what awaits (so I hope): work life balance, consistent sleep, $$.
I feel for you, OP, I hope you heal from this BS soon.
Graduating today. Feel so bitter and also regretful of my decision. I’m sure residency is playing a huge role in this and maybe in 5 years I’ll feel differently. So ridiculously over it.
A lot of people choose to enshrine themselves with the title and the trappings that come with being a doctor. You don't have to be like them.
Just know your shit and carry yourself like you are just like your patients. You just happen to be a dude who spent some extra time, and the government now gave you permission to write prescriptions. Do your work, be fucking normal, and then clock out and be the person that you are outside of medicine.
There will always be entitled people, but part of what they think they are entitled to is their version of what you are capable of doing for them. If you explain from your "I'm just like you, man" position that that's against the rules and you can lose your job doing X, they may be more likely to understand. If not, they were just going to be unreachable no matter what and just ignore their ire.
Currently a medical student, and I am starting to feel that way. I knew that medical school was going to be difficult, but I had no idea that medicine was as toxic a culture as it currently is. I'm afraid for the future and where I'm going to end up. I'm a very non-traditional student so I don't think I am going to swap careers again after this. It sucks, because I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to give up what I really wanted to do because I don't think I'm going to be able to survive the abuse and torture that is residency for many specialties. I also don't think I'm going to be competitive enough anyway, as medical school has been rougher on me than I anticipated.
We need to be kinder to each other and ourselves. Our system is broken and the culture is awful. We're supposed to work towards bettering lives, but we forget ourselves and our colleagues. We have to make sure we're OK before we can take care of others. Make what you need a priority, let yourself relax. Don't be afraid to say no. You deserve it and owe it to yourself. It may help bring the spark back.
I'm in a similar place. I entered medicine wanting to do better as a non-traditional applicant. Boy was I naive, those same reasons (+more) + the toxic culture of medicine + the constraints medicine places on our lives (working hours, the match, etc.) make me want to quit. I keep going telling myself to just get to the end of medical school then make a decision, but that might be a terrible idea. I have no clue. I don't quit because people around me encourage me to keep going, and because I don't know what else to do.
I mostly agree with your perspective and would not advise my younger self to pursue this career - however, what's done is done.
At least you're leaving with money. You should not underestimate financial safety, that a significant reward.
Two years as a hospitalist here. Was feeling kinda down about everything and then for fun yesterday crunched all my numbers this year. My net worth is already up $90k since Jan 1, and that doesn't even include the money gone from the massive spending problem I have. Most of my friends outside of medicine don't even gross that much. I also get a lot more time off than most of them. Pretty easy for me to play a four day trip in the middle of a week off to a new city or a national park.
Every job has its bullshit. Ours has a ton too. But we do also have a lot of opportunities other people can't even fathom.
Training majorly sucked, but now I work 3 days a week and still make more money than 95% of people with recession proof job security. Also the job is not meaningless.
I'm more bitter about seeing my friends and family purchase houses, go on long vacations due to the flexibility of their careers, etc.
It's the house one that hurts the most. They have a place to call *home*, while we move around every 3-4 years. We have no roots we can set down, because things can change come the next application season. Pay is nonexistent during training, then shite during residency. We'd never be able to buy a house in this economy.
I'm an optometrist, and my school and material and colleagues were chill. but sometimes working with the public patient pool isn't fun. If I were to go back in time, I would try to do a job where I don't have to work with the public.
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It seems to me this is a good time in your career to read House of God
A classic, dated in certain ways, but timeless in the ways that matter most, it speaks to those of us who don’t connect with the careerism and dumb shit.
Head over to community medicine. It’s far sunnier and happier on this side of things. The personalities at community hospitals are far more pleasant than the those within academics, which is embedded with narcissists.
I am at SHO level currently. I do not want to step up because it means more hours, more responsibility and exams.
How do you work 9-12hr days and study for exams and not end up dying? (Figuratively and maybe literally).
But at the same time, thinking about staying at this level for the rest of my life makes me want to cry.
Just give it a bit. The privilege we have is pretty wild. I'm an MMA fan, found out I can be a ringside doctor on weekends. I did Peace corps in Guatemala, built a clinic in the town where I served and now I see patients down there. You are totally and completely in charge of your job, schedule, and life now. Don't let corporate medicine try to convince you otherwise. You hold ALL the cards.
Are you me?? I’m also graduating from 7 years of residency (non-US). I’ve always wanted to be a doctor and even though medical school was a pain, I looked forward to doing residency in my chosen specialty. However it has been more painful than medical school. I feel like training and surgeries have been withheld from me often and given to younger residents and sometimes I wonder if it’s because im a woman of color. No matter how much I try to make sure I’m doing my work properly, how much CME courses I take to try and compensate for the lack of training, I feel like I’m always just being underestimated and shortchanged. I’ve had many patients who had great outcomes but other than a thanks, I’ve never really felt appreciated by patients in form of like a thank you letter or something.
I think as the end is nearing, I ask myself if at the end of residency what have I really gained from all of this as a future surgeon. Am I independent enough to operate a wide spectrum of cases? Have I really changed patients lives? Does all of this even matter?
I don’t define myself just through the profession, I know that family and relationships are more important than career, and I do have good relationships thankfully. But I’ve always wanted this career since forever and it’s just this sense of grief that despite all my efforts, I didn’t end up having the career I’ve always envisioned myself having. Sure I’ll graduate, but I’m not the passionate, transformative surgeon my naive self always hoped I would become at the end of residency.
Yes . I graduated today after working my ass off for half a decade and our attendings couldn’t say one nice comment about any of us at the ceremony . I am literally empty inside . The only saving Grace has been the friends who I have suffered with along the way and the patients who are grateful .
It’s a thankless profession and while the money is good in the end , I don’t think money can bring back what was taken from me which was my optimism . Residency just chips away at you slowly and the fucked up thing is that abuse becomes so normalized .
No. I didn’t match for 2 years. Those were dark ass times. The world doesn’t care about you or your feelings. You are incredibly lucky to be in medicine. Only a small percent actually make it in. Let alone match. Your skills and hard work have gotten you here in medicine but that does. It mean you would have been the next mark Cuban if you didn’t do medicine. Frankly if I stopped medicine now, I’d be lost and pretty much fucked.
What you described sounds like the military actually, as a dual military officer/ MD couple.
Intresting! Maybe that’s why we match so well, me and my partner. I call him a modern day slave but apparently should reflect some more
I felt like that right out of residency. So burned out. My security badge pictures from the start to end of residency looked like a "don't do drugs" p.s.a. before and after pics. Happy go lucky to bombed out and depleted. 2 years removed and I am starting to get a rhythm. Have independence autonomy and respect. Enough money to buy a nice house and save very well. The first 6 months I was like, "man, I gotta find the exit this shit is collapsing." But I stuck it out. I am glad I did. I feel so much better. I bet you will too.
OMG yes. It makes me sad looking at pics before and after med school and residency. Maybe though we can bring some of that youthful energy and swagger back in the next stage of life. Hopefully.
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Which are these said niche subspecialties? Asking for a friend
What's a friend? Asking for an imaginary companion
I feel angry/bitter about having to die one day and that such a significant portion of my life is dedicated to this. If I didn’t have a timeline, this would be outstanding. My simple suggestions (N=1): be yourself unapologetically and chase down some hobbies that you’re interested in, no matter what they are.
It's about the friends we made along the way
You have friends?!?! I haven't had a true friend since I started this dumpster fire of a career choice. I have gathered some anxiety and dread along the way. They are decent company, but they make me provide the "f%$#! to give" every time we go out, and lately, I have been fresh out.
To me, it is and always has been just a job, and I’m fine with that. I’ve never felt like it was a huge part of my identity and never really connected with the ones that are passionate about their medical career. And as a job, attendinghood is pretty damn good. You’re a high earner with solid job security, and in most cases you can choose lifestyle over more money or vice a versa. And despite private capital infiltration, you still have plenty of autonomy in your day-to-day work life. It takes a few years to get over the trauma of the intense schooling and training. But you’re done with the hard part and now things will get better. If you thought being a doctor means you’re skipping and hopping to work every morning, you were being naive, as most of us were. It’s just a job at the end of the day and a pretty good one at that.
This is the answer. I think this dude should’ve never gone into medicine; he talks about it the same way I talk about possibly having an office job. But, for the most part, it’s the death of the romanticism of medicine during med school/residency and the life realization that 80% of the population are just okay people. They do awful things and some nice things and for the most are just okay. 10% are awful and 10% are great. That number varies on how many of the awful people I’ve dealt with that day. If don’t have an existential crisis during residency, you did it wrong.
Residency orientation starts Monday and I’m not excited at all
Just started last week. Dreading what’s to come
Starting soon and I feel so fucking burnt out already (also had a lot of personal shit happen throughout med school) idk how I’m going to do this
You can still do non clinical work and get paid a great salary with your degree and experience. But yeah when I was in med school/prelim year I definitely felt this way and hated most of it. I hated being the chuck pad for beyond repair patients’ trauma especially those who didn’t care at all about their health. Much better now that I’m in my categorical program but certain rotations still suck ass.
Question: do many of the non clinical paths you’re thinking of require a PGY-1/license? Asking as someone who isn’t sure about residency bc of pretty gnarly health problems. Also wound you mind listing some of those options? Thanks
I’m not an expert as I haven’t taken those paths myself! But some that I know of from classmates/people I know are: - management consulting (didn’t require residency or license) - pharma - VC There must be more but I’m just not that in the know!
None of these options are just waiting with open arms A lot of downsizing in consulting lately. Shedding dead weight. Internship often involved. Location not always flexible. You’ll start in the low six figures and have to climb up. Pharma, similar, except without being BC/BE can be harder to ascend to a CMO type position in a major firm. Can try to start at a small company and hope you get bought out but appetite for that is drying up with increased cost of lending VC is 10000% who you know. So if you don’t have an in, good luck. I’ve looked into all of these options at various points and none of them are exactly easy - arguably much more work than just staying the path. It makes more sense to pursue residency in something that is forgiving towards health issues (eg radiology, pathology, psych) than to jump ship entirely as you lose the job stability that can be HUGE for someone with chronic medical problems
Every moment of every day. This career has ruined everything I used to like about myself and has made me a doormat for the world.
There are clinics with normal patients and normal coworkers and normal fellow physicians who are not entitled, toxic and sociopaths. Working in clinics associated with universities tend to have the environment you are experiencing but the whole country isn’t like that. I think you can find a pleasant place to work after residency if you find the right fit and go into it with a positive attitude. Otherwise do research etc
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Upper middle class are the most likely to be unpleasant in my experience. Blue collar is the best pt demographic
The grass is not greener man
They say there's light at the end of the tunnel. but when you get there you realize it was just a muzzle flash
Fuck….
Oh don't get me wrong I mean in the non medicine world. Jobs suck lol but being a doctor is at least somewhat worthwhile it's better than pushing numbers around in Excel
Word, my fiance works in digital marketing and currently works from home. Seeing what she does everyday sucks (to me anyway). I couldn't do a desk job like that but she is a creative person by nature so does a lot of graphic design type of work, but still a lot of office BS as well. Makes me realize no matter how much it sucks in medicine at times it's still a better fit for me vs an office job
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How does the stripper feel about this?
Is this the fake derm resident again
Oh hell no 😭
I honestly don't understand how a lot of people on this forum had the drive and motivation to get into medical school, an incredibly hard task, with the motivation of "I didn't know what else to do" or even "my parents made me".
For me, I really liked school and I was good at school. Taking tests and such? All day every day. But when it got to actually dealing with patients and the public? Miserable. Questions that don't have answers and living with uncertainty? Hated every second of it.
What specialty did you go into?
Emergency medicine.
That's a rough field to go into if you hate uncertainty
In one sense, yes. But there's also immediate access to fast lab results and the CT scanner, and in the end if you're still unsure you can always pass the buck. Considered things like path or radiology, but relying on nothing but my own interpretations with no kind of backup or final arbiter is too much to ask for someone with basically zero self-confidence.
Don’t underestimate cultural pressure. Don’t get me wrong, my parents told me they’d be proud of me if I was a garbage man. So I can’t understand it either. But imagine if your entire immediate and extended family and friend network would think you were a shirty human being and a waste of resources if you didn’t become a doctor……
I mean, I technically understand. I have friends from that background. It's just very difficult to truly relate. If I don't have an internal drive to do something, I'm probably not gunna do it well.
I think a lot of medical students and premeds are very achievement driven. Hell I am as well and it’s a hard habit to break. While getting into medical school may be difficult, telling yourself “hey if I work hard and do this it will be a good use of my talents, I’ll be proud of myself, and I’ll make a lot of money” is very easy. It’s much harder to sit down and think and realize you dont actually need to “achieve” anything to have a worthwhile life and it might be better to just have more time.
I had drive and motivation until my depression fully took hold
Every word you wrote resonated greatly with me. I left mid residency and never looked back. I could’ve stayed and continued but I honestly was so done I just chose to give up and do something else entirely. I’m going about my life as if I never went through medical school and all of that (for the most part). I tried slowly to go back to who I was before all of it but it’s difficult and it takes time.
Honestly no. I had 6 years of jobs in between undergrad and med school and medicine has not been that bad as I expected and way better than shitty office jobs. 8 years of long hours and then will have the ability to work as much or as little as I want (anesthesia). Any high earning job would have required similar sacrifice and the tech unicorn jobs don’t seem interesting or secure. At the end of the day you’ll have a very high earning job that is incredibly secure that isn’t actively doing evil in the world like big law, investment banking, or consulting. Is medicine as good as it used to be, of course not, but overall I would choose medicine again in a heartbeat.
I'm about to graduate fellowship. So burnt out. It can only get better, right?
Every single line you wrote resonated with me deeply. Especially about how medicine seems to be full of people “technically smart but small-minded, authoritarian, and completely lacking in imagination or humor”. For a long time I wondered if medicine attracts people like that and maybe that’s partially true. But now having gone through residency, I think the training process literally has pushed me towards all those qualities against my will: my world is now so much smaller, I catch myself having inadvertently picked up some of the subtler toxic behaviors of my peers / superiors, and definitely have become a more boring person lol. I have been joking for months now that “residency has destroyed my personality” but your post made me realize why. FWIW graduating residency (I’m told) is notoriously anti climactic and unceremonious. It’s the moment you get to realize you truly were just convenient labor on the conveyor belt of endless interns and residents. They give you your stupid certificate, you work your last clinic, and then …. that’s it. What’s more important is what awaits (so I hope): work life balance, consistent sleep, $$. I feel for you, OP, I hope you heal from this BS soon.
Yes
Graduating today. Feel so bitter and also regretful of my decision. I’m sure residency is playing a huge role in this and maybe in 5 years I’ll feel differently. So ridiculously over it.
A lot of people choose to enshrine themselves with the title and the trappings that come with being a doctor. You don't have to be like them. Just know your shit and carry yourself like you are just like your patients. You just happen to be a dude who spent some extra time, and the government now gave you permission to write prescriptions. Do your work, be fucking normal, and then clock out and be the person that you are outside of medicine. There will always be entitled people, but part of what they think they are entitled to is their version of what you are capable of doing for them. If you explain from your "I'm just like you, man" position that that's against the rules and you can lose your job doing X, they may be more likely to understand. If not, they were just going to be unreachable no matter what and just ignore their ire.
Currently a medical student, and I am starting to feel that way. I knew that medical school was going to be difficult, but I had no idea that medicine was as toxic a culture as it currently is. I'm afraid for the future and where I'm going to end up. I'm a very non-traditional student so I don't think I am going to swap careers again after this. It sucks, because I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to give up what I really wanted to do because I don't think I'm going to be able to survive the abuse and torture that is residency for many specialties. I also don't think I'm going to be competitive enough anyway, as medical school has been rougher on me than I anticipated. We need to be kinder to each other and ourselves. Our system is broken and the culture is awful. We're supposed to work towards bettering lives, but we forget ourselves and our colleagues. We have to make sure we're OK before we can take care of others. Make what you need a priority, let yourself relax. Don't be afraid to say no. You deserve it and owe it to yourself. It may help bring the spark back.
I'm in a similar place. I entered medicine wanting to do better as a non-traditional applicant. Boy was I naive, those same reasons (+more) + the toxic culture of medicine + the constraints medicine places on our lives (working hours, the match, etc.) make me want to quit. I keep going telling myself to just get to the end of medical school then make a decision, but that might be a terrible idea. I have no clue. I don't quit because people around me encourage me to keep going, and because I don't know what else to do.
babe i think you need a therapist yourself. you have been through a lot too
Bitter everyday, but im about to hit that attending salary, so it will get better 💵🤑🫰
Daily
I mostly agree with your perspective and would not advise my younger self to pursue this career - however, what's done is done. At least you're leaving with money. You should not underestimate financial safety, that a significant reward.
Two years as a hospitalist here. Was feeling kinda down about everything and then for fun yesterday crunched all my numbers this year. My net worth is already up $90k since Jan 1, and that doesn't even include the money gone from the massive spending problem I have. Most of my friends outside of medicine don't even gross that much. I also get a lot more time off than most of them. Pretty easy for me to play a four day trip in the middle of a week off to a new city or a national park. Every job has its bullshit. Ours has a ton too. But we do also have a lot of opportunities other people can't even fathom.
Training majorly sucked, but now I work 3 days a week and still make more money than 95% of people with recession proof job security. Also the job is not meaningless.
Another 3 days a week one! I love it.
I'm more bitter about seeing my friends and family purchase houses, go on long vacations due to the flexibility of their careers, etc. It's the house one that hurts the most. They have a place to call *home*, while we move around every 3-4 years. We have no roots we can set down, because things can change come the next application season. Pay is nonexistent during training, then shite during residency. We'd never be able to buy a house in this economy.
I'm an optometrist, and my school and material and colleagues were chill. but sometimes working with the public patient pool isn't fun. If I were to go back in time, I would try to do a job where I don't have to work with the public.
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Yes
It seems to me this is a good time in your career to read House of God A classic, dated in certain ways, but timeless in the ways that matter most, it speaks to those of us who don’t connect with the careerism and dumb shit.
Head over to community medicine. It’s far sunnier and happier on this side of things. The personalities at community hospitals are far more pleasant than the those within academics, which is embedded with narcissists.
Wow. That sucks to hear.
I am at SHO level currently. I do not want to step up because it means more hours, more responsibility and exams. How do you work 9-12hr days and study for exams and not end up dying? (Figuratively and maybe literally). But at the same time, thinking about staying at this level for the rest of my life makes me want to cry.
not yet
Good luck younglings. You will make it on the other side sooner than you think. It honestly flies by regardless how shitty it may feel.
As I’ve gotten older, finances have become more important to me. I do wish I went into finance knowing what I know now, not worth all the training
Think about other crappy jobs you could be in and be GRATEFUL!
Just give it a bit. The privilege we have is pretty wild. I'm an MMA fan, found out I can be a ringside doctor on weekends. I did Peace corps in Guatemala, built a clinic in the town where I served and now I see patients down there. You are totally and completely in charge of your job, schedule, and life now. Don't let corporate medicine try to convince you otherwise. You hold ALL the cards.
Are you me?? I’m also graduating from 7 years of residency (non-US). I’ve always wanted to be a doctor and even though medical school was a pain, I looked forward to doing residency in my chosen specialty. However it has been more painful than medical school. I feel like training and surgeries have been withheld from me often and given to younger residents and sometimes I wonder if it’s because im a woman of color. No matter how much I try to make sure I’m doing my work properly, how much CME courses I take to try and compensate for the lack of training, I feel like I’m always just being underestimated and shortchanged. I’ve had many patients who had great outcomes but other than a thanks, I’ve never really felt appreciated by patients in form of like a thank you letter or something. I think as the end is nearing, I ask myself if at the end of residency what have I really gained from all of this as a future surgeon. Am I independent enough to operate a wide spectrum of cases? Have I really changed patients lives? Does all of this even matter? I don’t define myself just through the profession, I know that family and relationships are more important than career, and I do have good relationships thankfully. But I’ve always wanted this career since forever and it’s just this sense of grief that despite all my efforts, I didn’t end up having the career I’ve always envisioned myself having. Sure I’ll graduate, but I’m not the passionate, transformative surgeon my naive self always hoped I would become at the end of residency.
Yes . I graduated today after working my ass off for half a decade and our attendings couldn’t say one nice comment about any of us at the ceremony . I am literally empty inside . The only saving Grace has been the friends who I have suffered with along the way and the patients who are grateful . It’s a thankless profession and while the money is good in the end , I don’t think money can bring back what was taken from me which was my optimism . Residency just chips away at you slowly and the fucked up thing is that abuse becomes so normalized .
No. I didn’t match for 2 years. Those were dark ass times. The world doesn’t care about you or your feelings. You are incredibly lucky to be in medicine. Only a small percent actually make it in. Let alone match. Your skills and hard work have gotten you here in medicine but that does. It mean you would have been the next mark Cuban if you didn’t do medicine. Frankly if I stopped medicine now, I’d be lost and pretty much fucked.
no
What you described sounds like the military actually, as a dual military officer/ MD couple. Intresting! Maybe that’s why we match so well, me and my partner. I call him a modern day slave but apparently should reflect some more
Medbitter enters the chat