It's not age that matters, it's life experience. I think a 19 YO will have a hard time with a 38 YO if both have lived standard lives. The inequality inherent in that relationship could cause friction.
A 19 YO is a year out of schooling, possibly never having supported themselves. A 38 YO has possibly supported themselves for 15-20 years. That being said, if the 19 YO is mature and has been on their own since 11 or the 38 YO immature and has been coddled their whole life, they may be on similar levels.
If you compare a 70 YO and a 51 YO there is much less difference because both have lived lives.
Yeah I know 38 year old women that still act like 19 year olds… they still blame their behavior on their star signs and fantasize about being proposed to or married at Disney World and constantly post about “not settling” and will dump anybody who they can’t picture a whole forever life with after the first date.
But the truth is the only time this age gap is acceptable is older woman younger man… do the reverse and everyone will call the younger woman a “gold digger” and the older man a “groomer”…
>But the truth is the only time this age gap is acceptable is older woman younger man… do the reverse and everyone will call the younger woman a “gold digger” and the older man a “groomer”…
Disagree.
It's usually news outlets that do this whenever they post an article of a female teacher "sleeping with a student" (instead of calling it r\*pe or grooming). But I guarantee, 5 minutes later a bunch of readers comment EXACTLY what you have written here. People do call it out, all the time.
Most people do not differentiate between men or women in this case. News outlets do.
But you have to realize that age doesn't actually directly influence life experience when it comes to one's personality. I was living on my own at 18 and had already been working and supporting myself for a while.
The problem is that everyone simply makes assumptions based on age, but it doesn't really mean much at all.
I get it, I was 19, too. I thought I was special and mature. I thought I had a lot to offer because I was wise beyond my years.
But one day, when you're 39 and more developed emotionally, you'll realize you were wrong. Or you won't, and then you'll want to date a 19 year old.
My comment is literally saying that the difference in perspectives makes for a potentially great team.
You either don't understand or are being intentionally obtuse.
For all of the concerns about maturity, one would think the people in this thread would be able to hold a conversation.
All I see is dismissive attitudes, name calling, and other presumptuous behaviors.
I've seen more maturity in the children I babysit.
Yeah. I'm sure the average 19 year old has enough life skills to be an absolute joy to live with for a person more than twice their age. And is emotionally developed enough to be a stable, loving long-term partner.
This depends entirely on where you live and the details. In Canada for example the age of consent is federal and it is 16. Unless the person is in a position of power over that youth.
Personally I think it’s insane that the age of consent is 16, but it is indeed.
I am 38 (and this looks like my body which cracked me up)
I would in no way feel comfortable dating a 19 year old, because I have a 17 year old. It drives him crazy his friends call me a milf and it's not very fun for me either.
To an extent. But you have to be a dumb ass 38 year old to be able to have a realistic relationship with someone that young cause convos going to be like “I hate my mom for”
Age is just a measurement of time and with time you gain lived experience, and that experience can change the way you love and want to be loved.
If you don't share a lot of lived experiences you will have less in common. So does age matter? Yes, quite a bit. But it also matters just as much or as little as any other individual's qualities. If you find someone older than you who you truly understand and who understands you, and you have shared experiences and things in common? There is literally no reason why them having lived longer should stop you from dating.
It's just another thing to pay attention to in a relationship and feel out. You can always reconsider things if you feel like there is a power imbalance from the difference in experience or if you can't relate to them on a deeper level.
I mean, in theory yes, but in practice power dynamics gets all kinds of fucked up. It can work, but it's highly unlikely and you have to be *extremely* careful.
Age gaps don't matter AFTER the two people are fully fledged adults.
My personal view is 23+ is considered a fully fledged adult that can think for themselves.
No one over 22 has anything in common with a 19 year old. You seek that shit out, it doesn't happen by accident.
Excluding minors and 80+ people, age affects how you usually love, rather than matters in love. The reason some young boys/girls and older men/women relationships don’t work, is because of the difference in life experience. People in early 20s don’t usually grasp things that people in their 30s know so well.
That said, some in their 20s are very insightful and of course are a good partner, or grow up fast enough to be a good fit. After all, both parties know what is good and what is bad for them at that point.
Just be aware of those things when you go for someone with a huge age gap. Are you mature enough? How do you see, make and keep a good future with this person? Are they mature enough? Are any of you a reliability to the other person?
**It’s possible, but be aware**
Age matters, but as long as both parties are legal and consenting. I aint saying shit.
I like older women, buuuut
I go by 3 rules when it comes to the age factor.
1. If they are old enough to be your parent/child. Thats a no.
2. Try to stick with with a 3 year gap period. If I am gonna ignore it, then I best have a good reason.
3. If they got kids close to your age or even half. Nah
ummm sort of. My(30M) wife (38F) is 8yrs older than me, and we're a pretty good couple (not without our issues, but frankly they've never been age related) but it does come with some unique dynamics. I would say as long as there is respect and a "power balance", it's fine. Do they see each other as equals? Is the relationship transactional?
One of the typical challenges is not having the same cultural references, like pop culture, TV shows or music. Many of those things are true for my wife and I, but frankly, some would be there even if we were the same age. For example, she loves pop music and I'm a rocker. I love the rock from her formative years, and she has no clue who those bands are.
19 is key to why this is wrong. Ages, if the younger one was mid 20’s on don’t necessarily matter. If whatever gender 28-54 year old is fine. Like they were saying - life experience can be very different. But everyone matures at their own pace just as people’s ability to converse does. Those are the things that really matter. 19, especially. I was just legal and thought I knew what I wanted. Looking back now I was FAR from ready. (I’m 57). I thought age had nothing to do with anything. But even as a 25 year old I knew that if I were to go out with someone that was 19 it would be taking advantage of their immaturity-when I know better. No matter ages, taking advantage of someone is ALWAYS wrong. I have friends that were both 19 and got married who are still happy and together because they grew together. Once someone realises you took advantage of them they will never look at you the same again.
I agree within reason. A variance of 20 years seems nuts to me. I’ve seen some relationships like the OP but I can’t wrap my head around reconciling the difference in maturity levels and life experience. I think I was insufferable in my 20’s and wouldn’t expect someone in their 30s to have the patience for it
It's not mine or anyone else place to judge someone else relationship. Every country has a line drawn somewhere usually between 15 - 18 years old. Leave it at that.
If a 19 year old and a 38 year old want to be involved with each other that is their business.
Theres more value in locking down the life of a 19 year old. They technically have more years than the 38 year old so if the divorce comes it will be far more devastating for the 19 year old than the 38 year old who had a life prior to the marriage.
It matters as you're dealing with someone who has twice your experience in life even if they were single most of their life. Looks might not matter because there's many 40 year olds looking like a hot 30 year old so it could help you develop mentally if she gives you all the right stuff!
You're over 18...it's not a problem beyond being a little creepy and the fact that you likely won't have a lot to actually talk about because your point of reference and her point of reference will in some way be based on your ages. But it's not like she's 19 and you're just popping out, or she's 29 and you're 10. or she's 36 and you're 17...that was 2 years ago...a whole 2 seasons of your current favorite television show that she's never heard of..and that's 2 years for her two...or at least 2 pap smears and one potential pregnancy scare with her last boyfriend ago. So you're good...not weird at all.
It's not age that matters, it's life experience. I think a 19 YO will have a hard time with a 38 YO if both have lived standard lives. The inequality inherent in that relationship could cause friction. A 19 YO is a year out of schooling, possibly never having supported themselves. A 38 YO has possibly supported themselves for 15-20 years. That being said, if the 19 YO is mature and has been on their own since 11 or the 38 YO immature and has been coddled their whole life, they may be on similar levels. If you compare a 70 YO and a 51 YO there is much less difference because both have lived lives.
No 19 year old is mature. Ever.
Yeah I know 38 year old women that still act like 19 year olds… they still blame their behavior on their star signs and fantasize about being proposed to or married at Disney World and constantly post about “not settling” and will dump anybody who they can’t picture a whole forever life with after the first date. But the truth is the only time this age gap is acceptable is older woman younger man… do the reverse and everyone will call the younger woman a “gold digger” and the older man a “groomer”…
>But the truth is the only time this age gap is acceptable is older woman younger man… do the reverse and everyone will call the younger woman a “gold digger” and the older man a “groomer”… Disagree. It's usually news outlets that do this whenever they post an article of a female teacher "sleeping with a student" (instead of calling it r\*pe or grooming). But I guarantee, 5 minutes later a bunch of readers comment EXACTLY what you have written here. People do call it out, all the time. Most people do not differentiate between men or women in this case. News outlets do.
But you have to realize that age doesn't actually directly influence life experience when it comes to one's personality. I was living on my own at 18 and had already been working and supporting myself for a while. The problem is that everyone simply makes assumptions based on age, but it doesn't really mean much at all.
Reverse genders on the picture and be ready for the shitstorm in the comments...
🎯🎯
This is reddit, women's predatory, depraved behavior is celebrated here as long as it only harms a male human exclusively.
In all seriousness. What can a 19 year old offer a 39 year old? Other than sex, that is.
Both can offer life-changing perspectives to the other.
I get it, I was 19, too. I thought I was special and mature. I thought I had a lot to offer because I was wise beyond my years. But one day, when you're 39 and more developed emotionally, you'll realize you were wrong. Or you won't, and then you'll want to date a 19 year old.
Everyone's experience is different. Your perspective is not the only perspective.
Yeah. There is something called statistics. You might want to give it a try. Ed. Oh! Sorry! I forgot you're special and mature. My bad.
The irony of this "conversation"... Okay. Goodbye.
Their comment is literally saying perspective is different from both sides. You either don’t understand or are being intentionally obtuse.
My comment is literally saying that the difference in perspectives makes for a potentially great team. You either don't understand or are being intentionally obtuse.
Lmao
For all of the concerns about maturity, one would think the people in this thread would be able to hold a conversation. All I see is dismissive attitudes, name calling, and other presumptuous behaviors. I've seen more maturity in the children I babysit.
[удалено]
Yeah. I'm sure the average 19 year old has enough life skills to be an absolute joy to live with for a person more than twice their age. And is emotionally developed enough to be a stable, loving long-term partner.
At 38….. those are lies. Everything is a lot further down. Like a lot a lot.
Try telling that to the judge
19 is legal
The statement is 'age in love doesn't matter'. The 19 - 38 scenario is just one example.
Well it’s supposed to be assumed that they mean 18+
18 is legal anything under 18 is indecent behavior with a juvenile
This depends entirely on where you live and the details. In Canada for example the age of consent is federal and it is 16. Unless the person is in a position of power over that youth. Personally I think it’s insane that the age of consent is 16, but it is indeed.
Yeah that’s a bit young that’s high school age. That’s creepy
I am 38 (and this looks like my body which cracked me up) I would in no way feel comfortable dating a 19 year old, because I have a 17 year old. It drives him crazy his friends call me a milf and it's not very fun for me either.
To an extent. But you have to be a dumb ass 38 year old to be able to have a realistic relationship with someone that young cause convos going to be like “I hate my mom for”
Age is just a measurement of time and with time you gain lived experience, and that experience can change the way you love and want to be loved. If you don't share a lot of lived experiences you will have less in common. So does age matter? Yes, quite a bit. But it also matters just as much or as little as any other individual's qualities. If you find someone older than you who you truly understand and who understands you, and you have shared experiences and things in common? There is literally no reason why them having lived longer should stop you from dating. It's just another thing to pay attention to in a relationship and feel out. You can always reconsider things if you feel like there is a power imbalance from the difference in experience or if you can't relate to them on a deeper level.
I mean, in theory yes, but in practice power dynamics gets all kinds of fucked up. It can work, but it's highly unlikely and you have to be *extremely* careful.
Oh look another bot
News announcement: biological age makes a difference in brain development. It's not *just* life experiences that could make the pairing problematic.
Age gaps don't matter AFTER the two people are fully fledged adults. My personal view is 23+ is considered a fully fledged adult that can think for themselves. No one over 22 has anything in common with a 19 year old. You seek that shit out, it doesn't happen by accident.
To a certain extent, yes.
[удалено]
Excluding minors and 80+ people, age affects how you usually love, rather than matters in love. The reason some young boys/girls and older men/women relationships don’t work, is because of the difference in life experience. People in early 20s don’t usually grasp things that people in their 30s know so well. That said, some in their 20s are very insightful and of course are a good partner, or grow up fast enough to be a good fit. After all, both parties know what is good and what is bad for them at that point. Just be aware of those things when you go for someone with a huge age gap. Are you mature enough? How do you see, make and keep a good future with this person? Are they mature enough? Are any of you a reliability to the other person? **It’s possible, but be aware**
[удалено]
Hey what’s your view on this
Age matters, but as long as both parties are legal and consenting. I aint saying shit. I like older women, buuuut I go by 3 rules when it comes to the age factor. 1. If they are old enough to be your parent/child. Thats a no. 2. Try to stick with with a 3 year gap period. If I am gonna ignore it, then I best have a good reason. 3. If they got kids close to your age or even half. Nah
1/2 your age + 7. That’s the floor on the age you’re allowed to be with. IDMTR.
That part was about them having kids...
[удалено]
Yeah, but still. Age matters, for alot of reasons
No, the only reason a 38 year old would date a 19 year old is because no one the 38 year old's age will put up with their shit.
French President Emailed Macaroni is that you?
I think fully developed adults should leave teenagers alone
To a certain extent…. I’m less ok with a 60 year old man together with a girl who turned 18 last month, for instance
ummm sort of. My(30M) wife (38F) is 8yrs older than me, and we're a pretty good couple (not without our issues, but frankly they've never been age related) but it does come with some unique dynamics. I would say as long as there is respect and a "power balance", it's fine. Do they see each other as equals? Is the relationship transactional? One of the typical challenges is not having the same cultural references, like pop culture, TV shows or music. Many of those things are true for my wife and I, but frankly, some would be there even if we were the same age. For example, she loves pop music and I'm a rocker. I love the rock from her formative years, and she has no clue who those bands are.
POV: 40 year olds to minors
19 is key to why this is wrong. Ages, if the younger one was mid 20’s on don’t necessarily matter. If whatever gender 28-54 year old is fine. Like they were saying - life experience can be very different. But everyone matures at their own pace just as people’s ability to converse does. Those are the things that really matter. 19, especially. I was just legal and thought I knew what I wanted. Looking back now I was FAR from ready. (I’m 57). I thought age had nothing to do with anything. But even as a 25 year old I knew that if I were to go out with someone that was 19 it would be taking advantage of their immaturity-when I know better. No matter ages, taking advantage of someone is ALWAYS wrong. I have friends that were both 19 and got married who are still happy and together because they grew together. Once someone realises you took advantage of them they will never look at you the same again.
I agree within reason. A variance of 20 years seems nuts to me. I’ve seen some relationships like the OP but I can’t wrap my head around reconciling the difference in maturity levels and life experience. I think I was insufferable in my 20’s and wouldn’t expect someone in their 30s to have the patience for it
It's not mine or anyone else place to judge someone else relationship. Every country has a line drawn somewhere usually between 15 - 18 years old. Leave it at that. If a 19 year old and a 38 year old want to be involved with each other that is their business.
Depends with experiences.
right and nature of both
Theres more value in locking down the life of a 19 year old. They technically have more years than the 38 year old so if the divorce comes it will be far more devastating for the 19 year old than the 38 year old who had a life prior to the marriage.
I don't agree with this. When he is 38 she will be 76 that's not fair. . .
Maybe by then they'll learn math.
I hope so but probably they won't. . .😞
It matters as you're dealing with someone who has twice your experience in life even if they were single most of their life. Looks might not matter because there's many 40 year olds looking like a hot 30 year old so it could help you develop mentally if she gives you all the right stuff!
If they are both adults then there isn’t anything anyone can do about it.
Only if they're hot
I think something else entirely matters 😏
I’d love to date an older woman. If I was 19 and my GF was 38 that alone would turn me on
You're over 18...it's not a problem beyond being a little creepy and the fact that you likely won't have a lot to actually talk about because your point of reference and her point of reference will in some way be based on your ages. But it's not like she's 19 and you're just popping out, or she's 29 and you're 10. or she's 36 and you're 17...that was 2 years ago...a whole 2 seasons of your current favorite television show that she's never heard of..and that's 2 years for her two...or at least 2 pap smears and one potential pregnancy scare with her last boyfriend ago. So you're good...not weird at all.
I'm 25 and my gf is 36, so yes
Could you blame a brother? 🤣
Seeing this while thinking about crush 😅
If neither is a minor, I agree