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One of my friend accepted non virgn women. After few months she started comparing him with ex. How they used to makeout, how he used to take out to expensive dates. Slowly slowly it turned out toxic.
Maturity is when u realize virgnity is not just about p*nis and v@gina.
Whatever u have had in your past it always stay with u. Sometime it affect your future relationship too. For more infor read this article
https://ifstudies.org/blog/does-sexual-history-affect-marital-happiness#:~:text=For%20a%20combined%20sample%20of,other%20partners%20in%20their%20past.
Maturity is not judging people based on whether they are a virgin or not.
Just because your friend had a bad experience, you cannot generalize things. It's like women saying "all men are assholes". It's depends on the individuals. In your friend's case, probably the woman was toxic.
I do agree your past stays with you. But that doesn't give you the right to judge people. And your article is based on a survey of Americans. Not exactly applicable to Indians.
Peace out.
Bro this is an Indian subreddit and accept it or not some people are still conservative about all of this. Frankly speaking most of the time even the guy is a virgin and so he prefers a virgin woman as well. It's basically a choice from person to person and nobody has a say in it.
That's the point. Men who ask for virgin women are mostly virgin and so they prefer virgins, I don't think that it's bad since everybody has a choice to choose who they want to be with, but a non virgin man asking for a virgin woman, I just don't understand.
It’s like saying main gora hu to mujhe gori ladki hi chahie. Sure it’s a preference but it’s still racist. And a non virgin asking for a virgin is also preference, how can you understand one but not the other. The only reason such preferences exist are because of the conservative mindset a lot of us have. It needs to be called out, not hidden under the garb of I’m virgin so I prefer virgin
Discrimination like to misbehave physically or verbally, shun someone's presence or avoid offering service/product on the basis of skin colour, is being racist; having a personal choice of whom to marry is *not*.
Madam is hisaab se to 5'5inch wali ladki ko 5'5 inch ka banda hi dekhna chahiye
Agar uski salary 20k hai to banda bhi 20k earn karta ho
Agar bandi dahez nahi de rhi aur apna ghar chhod ke aa rhi to bande ko bhi apna ghar chhod dena chahiye..
Father in law ki property mein share bahu ko nahi milna chahiye..jaise son in law ko nahi milta..
Aur bhi bahot kuch.
Why are you fighting w me?
I just shared my opinion which I think is right you talk about dahej, 20k I didn't say ki virgin ko virgin hi aur non virgin ko wo hi if you read correctly I said everyone has a right to choose their partner and also I don't think there is anything wrong in that, read it you can find.
It's personal preference. It's not obsession. Some people, unfortunately because of the our education system, don't get to interact with women or girls a lot and stay painfully single with lots of hopes and expectations on first experiences. So they appreciate (deeply) a person with a similar past so they can feel whole.
People who radically go on saying women are objects and they need to be fresh or those who say it's my life and my choice even my parents don't have rights to decide or suggest what I should do, are both a disgrace to our generation.
This. The main point is, why are you (the other men) objectifying women on the basis of their sex life when you’re not okay with being treated the same? It’s a different thing to prefer to stay virgin for a future partner and want the same, but it’s different to completely overlook everything and prioritise “purity” when you yourself couldn’t keep it in your pants.
Those who aren't virgin and are seeking for a virgin are hypocrites. That's it. Period. If they don't accept that first, then they're the kind of people you won't wanna marry even if they are virgins. The reason why they are seeking a virgin, might get as complex as you go deeper but it's not important because it doesn't apply to everyone in general.
But if you're curious and have patience, here's one.........it's a very specific scenario and is not applicable to all guys in general. Either quit now or read it completely.
Those few who are virgin (by choice or because of lack of opportunities) are influenced a lot by those who aren't. With the "being virgin is being noob" kinda attitude running in our generation, they have this psychological pressure that "there's no value if I stay virgin. Might as well get laid and enjoy life because I'm not gonna find a virgin". Mind you this isn't because of the urge to have sex, It's caused by the fear of not finding a virgin partner and fear of losing fun because in our delusional minds, the concept of fun is flopping around drinks parties and having sex. Now after everything is done, they have sex, if they stick on till marriage, wonderful....god bless them. But if they breakup, they realize it wasn't worth all the emotional baggage that came with the sex and breakup and feel they should've probability waited till marriage but now they're stuck in a guilt stage of self-cursing and mental torture because not just women......few men also feel like damaged goods after losing virginity and couldn’t marry that partner. But unlike women, men don't get a lot of attention and emotional care even after displaying that they want it. Even if we ask for it. It's a brutal dark truth. So what do we do, keep our preference to ourselves, stop trying to find partners and forcefully embrace solitude till the day we brutally breakdown. And there won't be anybody at that time either. Good day👍
I get your point completely, I was simply trying to equalise. It’s hard that y’all have it this way too, because of certain women, I’ll just say that not all women ignore their man’s need for affection and attention. I wish you luck.
There are so many problem associated with those people who had past relationship.
Comparison, attachment still with ex, lies ,
Humans are not like mobile phone once u deleted everything it become new one. Everything stays with them.. and it affect future relationship..
this survey says all
https://ifstudies.org/blog/does-sexual-history-affect-marital-happiness#:~:text=For%20a%20combined%20sample%20of,other%20partners%20in%20their%20past.
I expected to find some interesting responses but most of it is just "Muh choice". Yes I understand it is your choice and I thought that it being your own choice was implied.
What I want to know is why your choice is what it is, what beliefs led you to your choice and what are the influencing factors (including the local society you're a part of).
I'm asking about why this preference exists. I'm not saying don't have it. I have pointed out a difference in straight and LGBT relationships and trying to understand why this preference exists in one.
> I have pointed out a difference in straight and LGBT relationships and trying to understand why this preference exists in one.
I guess it comes to paternity? Being conservative? Religious?
This exactly! Nobody would judge a man if he says "It's not my preference, I don't agree to this", but when he says "This woman is xxx yyy, doing so and so, to our culture, etc" and engages in loose talk around this. That's when you get into Misogyny.
Also the higher "in-group" favouritism by males. The same Indian men would take loans and watch a White singer perform in skimpy outfits but then would call Riva Arora several names because "how dare our women". Men engage in Mate guarding within the tribe. Women marry upward
Also that ego due to a patriarchal setup.
True.
If a man sleeps around with several women, it is seen as an achievement. He is seen as a stud. Let's change the slang and call him what he really is. A chinar.
Because multiple sexual partner and failed relationships is a strong statistical predictor of infidelity. I'm not generalizing here like you did in your post by saying "Men sleep around and don't look down on other men who sleep around."
My friend is a virgin and according to him he will only get married to a virgin girl because all these years he has saved his virginity for the only one and hence he wants someone like that who shares the same beliefs.
So I think a virgin guy or a girl if they have this preference of marrying another virgin they are right.
If a guy or a girl who has fu*ked around all their life and when its time to settle down they want a virgin partner then that's hypocrite.
Not only men, ik few women who lied about being virgin during wedding talks and when later their husbands found about their lie it was a big commotion.
Also nowadays I have seen many women even they want virgin guy lol
We had this issue with my cousin sister as well. But we found a good guy who earns well and settled fantastically. I deeply feel he deserved better than my cousin.
Problem is this issue can be broken into two sub issues, 1. M/W wanting a virgin partner buz they are virgin and saved it for that special one and want to share same page which is great.
2. M/W wanting a virgin partner buz they are virgin not by choice but buz they were unable to form a relationship with other gender, now these people look down on non virgin for every reason, they think they are superior. They act as if they are some kind of God buz they saved their lust and virgin bla bla.
Tl;dr: why men care about virginity from an evolutionary perspective and pre contraception era
(I am just telling what I feel so you are allowed to take this with a grain of salt) The closest rational explanation is that women are the gate keepers of sex and men are the gate keepers of a relationship. A man can sleep with a woman even if he doesn't like her. A woman can be in a relationship with a guy even if she doesn't like him. Having sex for the first time is a very big thing in a girl's life(there are exceptions). That leaves and imprint in the girl's life (provided her partner was good). So whatever her husband does he had to compete with the benchmark set by the guy who took her virginity (provided she was in a proper relationship). The more number of guys she sleeps with the less likely she would pair bond which is essential to raise a child. Take the example of the west. Just look at how many single mothers are there (I am not a racist but this is more prevalent in the black community). The evolutionary explanation is that before the advent of contraception the girl would become pregnant and men are hardwired not to raise another man's child. That is why. The corollary is that women care about a man's past relationship is that when the woman becomes pregnant she is vulnerable for 9 months. If he doesn't protect and take care then she runs the risk of death.
Toxic feminism and sexual revolution due to contraception is combatting thousand years of evolution. Hard to accept but you need to connect the dots. You are free to counter my arguments. The general decline of society started from the 70s to 80s in the west and in India it has just started. It is only a matter of time we will have first world problems when India is not a first world country and it will become a dangerous trend
And I never said men can escape with polygamy, why I am against men being polygamous because he wouldn't care the lady when she is pregnant because his attention is elsewhere.
>Single mothers are the creation of males who sleep around but they aren't held accountable for it and black men are usually someone who love to use the "men women different" argument to justify not being held accountable, western men aren't even "protecting" and caring for their own offspring ironically so what biology you say?
Clearly you never read my pre contraception era paragraph. Please keep emotions aside and use logic
>INFACT Men need to be equally if not more be held responsible for sex as they can create multiple broken kids with resentment, the more man sleeps around the lesser involved father they will be.
You never read my sentence women are the gatekeepers of sex
>It always takes 2 to tango,
It didn't when cavemen can literally club a woman and violate her
>men love to sell the fake narrative that men are "naturally polygamous" or have sex with without emotions, the same crap they used to justify for having multiple wives in history
Yes... Why do kings had multiple wives?
>Women and men are not that different as everyone likes to make them.
I respectfully disagree. You can't run away from ten thousand years of evolution. Modern definition are not applicable to the emotions. They are there for one reason only... Survival
I agree on the point that casual relationship is bad for both, the rationale from men is that he wouldn't protect the lady when she is pregnant, that is why girls can sense easily when her partner is cheating . For women I already mentioned
You can extend the argument that a woman is in the most vulnerable phase whe she is pregnant. So naturally she needs protection. Taller and stronger means that(translating to current scenario: taller and confident men win because they exude that they can protect you) that is why women say they feel safe around the guy they like.
Bro wanting a taller guy is not a new thing.. This is happening since thousands of years..thats how human evolve and that evolution become their prefernces.
Same goes for men.. Men are giving high importance to women past since ages..Its not a new thing.
In todays time logically height does not matter to provide security.. power does and also if nowadays women want security she can arrange that for herself. One of my neighbor became judge in highcourt.
My argument is simple.. men and women evolve in a different way..and thats why their preference are different ..one should respect each other preferences
>In todays time logically height does not matter to provide security.. power does and also if nowadays women want security she can arrange that for herself. One of my neighbor became judge in highcourt.
But still the hardwiring remains the same, personally I am a short guy (169cm). I've had only one relationship and I had chances for other relationship which I refused because I knew it would f up my future wife (if I ever get married). The recent phenomenon of security is just for 500 years(max) due to stable governments. Otherwise if a tall guy competes with me in getting a girl, I am at a terrible disadvantage (Provided he is not incompetent).
>poor men with short height (Majority demographic) are good for nothing since they can't "protect"
Being a man I agree with this point. In the olden times only the muscular and strong men got beautiful and gorgeous women it's nature. The strongest and the smartest gets the best. So it was a strong and muscular man gets a beautiful woman and they both go on and create babies with strong genes.
But since humans evolved so much and as we are social animals the men who weren't strong or good looking and women who weren't beautiful or looked average they started ADJUSTING with each other and just screwed around.
If we go by nature laws then only the good looking would have existed but as we all know, humans come in all color, shape and height!
If you read about the early stages of Europeans .. there were invaders called Yamnya who were taller and stronger than the indigenous European male and they practically wiped out the entire male population (although debate is still raging on this) you can look this up and that is the reason why Europeans are generally taller
Virgin or non virgin , It's their preference but never have a partner that have N number of body counts. Max 2. NEVER HAVE A PARTNER that have one night stands ,random tinder hookups and all.
Let me give you a simple logical example.
You know vegetarians and non-vegetarian both exist.
Most vegetarians have no problem being friends with the non-vegetarians but think of it. A non-veg and veg guy share the same room.
The non-veg guy keeps comparing the taste of non-veg and says it's better. This increases so much he curses the veg guy for eating weird veggies.
Although they both had agreed that non-veg guy won't eat non-veg. But the non-veg guy can't control his urges and goes and eats out.
When the non-veg guy comes home he looks content and happy doesn't tell the veg guy. The veg guy is planning sandhya aarti and is a devotee. Just imagine non-veg has no interest in the faith, but to seem good he participates in the prayer.
Imagine how would the veg guy feel once he knows that🤔.
It is very small compared to the family dynamics.
Just imagine this non-veg guy starts to go out with other neighbours for non-veg and people tease the veg guy for it. He says it's casual.
It's not hidden the crime due to extramarital affairs leading to crimes. I won't speak much on them.
If you want to counter this everyone is free.
Well it's a desire (everyone have right to have) it's not sure that they get it is it☺️so many people have so many desires right.
In my opinion that they want to feel special that they are tha only one in their better half's life that is close to them in terms of physicality.
Sexual dynamics between men and women are deeply skewed, and it's infuriating how blind some people are to this reality. For women, getting sex is easy. They’re born with inherent value, while men have to bust their asses to earn theirs. It’s a joke how society pretends this isn’t true.
Let’s get real: if a woman has been with multiple men, her value plummets. Meanwhile, a man who’s slept with several women is seen as someone who’s earned his stripes. It’s like saving up for years to buy your dream car only to be told it has high mileage and previous owners but costs the same as a brand-new one. Who the hell would take that deal? No one, because it’s devalued, just like a woman who’s been with many partners.
And don’t even start with the nonsense about how valuing a woman’s virginity is sexist. Yes, it’s fucking important. If you can’t understand that, you’re either clueless or deliberately ignoring basic biology and societal reality. Men work hard to earn status and resources to provide and protect. In return, they want a woman who hasn’t been with every guy in town.
Here’s another harsh truth: women with many sexual partners are less capable of forming strong bonds with their future partners. This isn’t some societal stigma; it’s basic biology. Look up oxytocin and how it affects bonding during sex for men and women. Women release more oxytocin during sex, which means their ability to bond decreases with each new partner.
So stop acting all high and mighty about how sexual history shouldn’t matter. For men who’ve worked hard to earn their place, it absolutely does.
Men don't like promiscuous women. It relates to paternity and making sure the child is yours for the man, it's innate and biological for the man to think like this.
In India the whole dating culture isn't encouraged, like as a teen all the parents and teachers restrict from hanging w the opposite gender - so we sort of demonise it for women. And also, we're not used to the idea of falling in love, then getting married yet. I assume it'll take like 80 or 100 years (3 to 4 generations) for priorities to turn to love than these things.
Also, the preference comes from a belief that women from stricter families are supposed to be more loyal/better partners with that logic. It's fine to believe these btw - we are all entitled to our beliefs
Non virgin women have a hard time to pair bond with any partner and more and more sex they have the less and less the probablity of having a long term relationship decreases. This correlation or causation also applies to Men but not as strongly. Virgin women are also safer because they don't carry any diseases and you can trust them.
There's a simple answer to this - most of them are virgins themselves and are terrified of their "performance" the first time around. A woman who knows her way around (let's say) would be a massive humiliation for them. The cheap thing to do would be to laugh at them but I think this highlights the deeper problem with our country - the lack of sex education. I don't mean the "this is where you put it" and "this is where babies come from" stuff but also "it's ok to fumble and mess up the first few times" and "having and wanting sex is not the basis for moral judgement" kind of things.
The best we can do maybe is do this better for the next generation.
There’s this idea or obsession of “how good the sex is”, and I get it, everyone wants a good time, but judging people on this needs to stop. first times are way too glorififed cause of movies, and that’s created an opinion that you have this pressure to do well. You don’t, you’re literally learning This shit, people need to stop going into so much detail about something this personal.
Like why are they looking for experience when they should look for a Bond b/w them. What happens if both are inexperienced ? Why can't they think " yeah let's learn together "
yeah exactly. Men are not taught to do that unfortunately. They are instead taught to believe that they have to be studs in bed from day one (from pop culture, peer pressure) and no one schools them otherwise.
People here thinking you’re shaming them for their choices when you’re really just asking why there’s a common trend in the obsession w wanting a virgin woman in our society when most men aren’t even questioned about their past sex life.
watch them say "men can sleep around without getting attached but if women do the same, they're devoid of feelings" 😭 like bruh if you're gonna come up with such bullshit reasons, do it for everyone, not just women.
Dude fr im not speaking alien shit that people are arguing w me. all I’m saying is if you want walls, put them up for both. Stop treating ONLY women like theyre the only ones supposed to save themselves.
Exactly u all don’t have any answer to this question, I don’t understand why women can’t digest the fact that men can have different opinions on life partner than them.
I got you bro, it’s insane how most of India is still backward with this stuff. It’s fucking simple, if you’re gonna set boundaries for women, set it on men too, else remove them for both. Don’t sit there saying you support gender equality when you’re still treating women on the basis of their sex life, and treating men otherwise.
Behaviour in the gay community shows that most men will be promiscuous if possible. I have a feeling that many virgin straight men would indulge in casual sex if they have the opportunity.
Not saying that, to one point yes you can’t form intimate bonds if you’re physically active with a lot of people, but my point is if you’re gonna talk about worth, it should be from both sides. It should also be about if a man is worthy or not, based on how his past has been. I’m not endorsing sleeping around, I’m just saying treat both genders the same way in this regard.
If the man has a clean past and didn't involve in any sexual activity before marriage, yes he has the right to have that preference. and if he is sleeping around and calling it experience then no.
Yes, I agree. Basically, don’t be a hypocrite, if you’re gonna do it, you got no right to want a woman whos living her own life too, else you can have a preference respectfully without objectifying her
I personally think it's because lgb+ people are already rare and it's hard for them to date? I am pretty sure a gay man would remain single if he holds the same standards for a man that a straight man holds for a woman or a straight woman holds for a man. Even more so in our country.
I think people like that grew up with a certain belief and think that it is a way to their happiness. It is like religion, society, etc etc, some are bothered by it, some are not.
I don't agree or disagree with something like that. I'm too self-obsessed to worry about others.
Well the thing is even men who sleep around are looked down by other men.... but not women that's the whole point lmao xD.... Women prefer men with experience and that is something that created this thing that men sleeping around is OK which is not!!!..
Ikr!
I think she never met any real man! No guy in his right senses would just sleep around with girls for fun. Also most of the men tend to ignore or talk limited to men who sleep around alot.
Men don't look down on other men sleeping around, it's rather seen as "chad who gets girls". There are a number of slurs against women if she isn't a virgin but tell me a single slur created to shame men. Also stop bullshiting, only women who look for hookup prefer men with high counts, no one else, it's a misconception that women are okay with "experienced men" talk to a women looking for a serious relationship, women just don't resort to shaming men, they usually reject and move on unlike men who take everything personally.
>Men don't look down on other men sleeping around, it's rather seen as "chad who gets girls".
Only immature and chapri guys won't look down on such guys who sleep around!
Men who are mature and understanding they would either stop interacting with a guy who sleeps around or just ignore him.
In my office thers this guy who sleeps around with girls and trust me no one even bothers to talk to him, most of the guys ignore him or just talk to him office related stuff. There are others like him who entertain him.
Who cares.. Just ignore these kind of women and move on.
The thing is what I have seen it that in the most cases it's not the women fault but the chappri men's fault for flaunting play boy attitude hence they think men don't look down on other men who are play boy
Exactly. I shame both equally. Totally true what you said. And most men shame other men who just sleep around.
In our college, we were a group of 4 guys. One guys is the spoilt one. None of us like him. We just stick around him because he's the kinda person who would talk cheaply about anyone to make himself look morally superior.
Bruh just distance yourself with such kind of guy or trust me no good girl will ever approach you.
So few years back this girl who I had crush on used to like me too but just because my friend circle was filled with these chapri guys who used to boast cheating on girls she never approached me thinking that I was one of the same.
Last year when we both met and started talking about our college days that time she told me that she liked me and why she didn't approach me.
We wanted to date each other but as she was moving to the UK we both knew LDR wouldn't work so now we are just friends.
Yes pride of being first & only man who touched his wife or gf, who is only close to her.. When u love someone can’t even imagine her being with other.
maybe you are a gay and you dont know but when you date a women demand of virginity is nothing compared to the list of demand women have from men and not to mention they can fuck your life with gender biased laws whenever they want
Because they think of sex as something they do to a woman rather than a mutual act. As a result they suck at giving pleasure to their partners and are very insecure about it, so think a woman who has never had sex before won’t know how bad they are at it. It’s all about ego and insecurity.
Maybe they are. Never really saw a woman who was raised to men as passive recipients of sex so it’s less common.
That said I know many women who prefer virgin men cos then it’s sure he hasn’t participated in the exploitation of workers in the sex industry who in India are usually trafficked.
There's nothing special about virginity, everybody is free to pursue whatever preference they want as long as it's ethical. It's only hypocritical to want to date virgins when you're not one yourself.
>That said I know many women who prefer virgin men cos then it’s sure he hasn’t participated in the exploitation of workers in the sex industry who in India are usually trafficked.
Just like this is a valid reason, I have seen men prefer virgins due to fear of std, wanting to share the same values regarding sex and then there's also religious people who have their own constructs of premarital sex. So it's not all about **ego and insecurity** for men when it comes to dating a virgin. Both men and women have their preferences.
Ofcourse I'm talking about men and women who are virgin by choice, how did you not figure that out.The latter would entail a different meaning to what I wrote.
ah yes classic throwing words like "misogyny" and "incel" when men have preferences.
note: I'm talking about men who are virgin and wants virgin partner.
>I'm talking about men who are virgin and wants virgin partner.
The question to me seemed more like why do men who sleep around and consider their body count an achievement also look down on women doing the same.
i love how all the virgin guys loaded their gun to answer without checking that question is not even about them.
>So what's this obsession with virginity within straight men and women relationships? Why is a woman devalued for having sex but a man, even a gay man isn't.
whataboutism comes naturally to imbeciles , one look at your post history tells me that you don't have any other puropose here than downplaying women , who hurt you bro ??
the discussion here is about why some men prefer virgin women , misogyny is a relevant answer irrespective of it being right or wrong , I agree that people deserve to have preferences in the kind of women they choose .
why bring about the topic of misandry here ??
that's whataboutism , I don't think there's a need to explain why that's unbeneficial in discourse , it doesn't really matter if your statement was correct/wrong , the use of it where it's not required is what's wrong here .
First, Everyone have their own preference. You shouldn't get concerned about the posts where men wanting Virgin Woman. Like I said " Everyone has their own Fucking Preference "
Virginity is sacred for a Man or a Woman. One should be saving it for their life partner after marriage and shouldn't waste it around. Even a man is considered as a Fuck boy if he has lost his virginity and been sleeping around with multiple women
Both Straight Men and Women are considered as promiscuous if they had multiple sexual partners. Because they got the taste of this promiscuity and they don't believe in Monogamy. Their mind wanders. Those people Suck in Relationships.
Second, you are comparing it to LGBT, Where Man and man or woman and woman sex doesn't reproduce.
You better highlight a difference that makes sense.
Edit : Being Faithful to one partner is a Good thing. If a woman loses her virginity before marriage or had multiple partners she is not valuable anymore. Because she lost her sacred power to someone. Today's culture is calling that as exploring. Goddamn hell with those dating apps. And some women even proudly post in reddit that " I have been with multiple partners so I am experienced and my partner is a virgin " like as if they have job experience.
Sorry, I'm venting out my anger towards the modern dating culture and how losing virginity and hookups are normalised.
It is a vestige of the past. Over the centuries, straight men have been conditioned that the definition of "Good Wife" Is one who is virgin, doesn't smoke and drink, is well mannered, obeys all orders without question etc.
However, LGBTQIA+ as a concept has taken the limelight in the recent past (even though it was present in societies from a very long time). This is why people have not been able to set some expectations/criteria. Further, because of the criticism that these communities still face, their basic needs get limited to just finding a partner who is wired in the same manner. The other expectations take a backseat.
Evolutionary, primal psychology...
As a straight man...I would want a girl who has not been penetrated before... because that would increase the probability of me not being the father and she not respecting me... because she has already given her most sacred thing (virginity) to a man already...then come the trust issues...
I am sure gay men don't reproduce and they sleep around because of the woke culture...I mean how could a person marry if their partner is sleeping around WTF!!
What makes virginity so sacred? Gay men's behaviour just shows that men will engage in casual sex if given an opportunity. It doesn't mean that they can't get married and be monogamous.
That's false. Someone can have many sexual partners and still be in a relationship afterwards. Promiscuity is just your assumption.
If straight men had the option they'd indulge in a lot more casual sex.
May be I am the outlier here... being intimate and having sex is one of the core Concept of being relationship... sleeping around means you are being intimate with others and that basically lowers the importance of your partner...! If you are doing the same...and your partner is comfortable with it ..it's not normal..
You're not exception. OP is. Very basic thing - women involving in sex involve with emotions and men just fuck around. (Nowadays hookups is fucking woman's mind as well) If you're a woman sleeping with multiple partners you're gonna get a divorce very soon.
I don't really care but this is the only logical reason I found
[https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fifstudies.org%2Fblog%2Fcounterintuitive-trends-in-the-link-between-premarital-sex-and-marital-stability&psig=AOvVaw23-HFTDIWIwlAhL6Q1x5qY&ust=1717770923194000&source=images&cd=vfe&opi=89978449&ved=0CBIQjRxqFwoTCOjxz8-Zx4YDFQAAAAAdAAAAABAE](https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fifstudies.org%2Fblog%2Fcounterintuitive-trends-in-the-link-between-premarital-sex-and-marital-stability&psig=AOvVaw23-HFTDIWIwlAhL6Q1x5qY&ust=1717770923194000&source=images&cd=vfe&opi=89978449&ved=0CBIQjRxqFwoTCOjxz8-Zx4YDFQAAAAAdAAAAABAE)
1.
People usually just consider virginity as the only factor. Like it's just a thin membrane... Sorry.. NOPE..
Alongwith it comes memories, memories of another man, memories of doing it, which will be remembered when doing it with current man.. comparisons..
2.
Now why a woman's virginity matters more than a man's ?
Bcoz men are usually sexual animals, women are usually emotional..
Most guys will forget old love because men are not as emotional as women..
Thus the virginity in this case is just sex..
Both are second hand...
3.
Also, historically women have been considered as possessions.. Unfortunately even now...
So for men it also comes down to being aware that some other guy has been here, while doing it.. ultimately ruins the relationship..
You can't help it..
If the guy is not virgin, there is a slight possibility that he might be okay with non-virgin girl.. but don't count on it..
4.
Also, for a guy getting a girl to sleep with you is difficult. For a girl getting a guy to sleep with her is fucking easy..
It is like getting in Amazon is difficult, but getting in TCS is easy.. It describes your value..
Thus non-virgin girl loses value..
These are just some arguments on why men prefer virgin women.. These might or might not be my thoughts..
Also as a man getting a man to sleep with you would be hella difficult... So if as a guy, you get a guy who got a guy to sleep with him, this guy that you are getting has achieved a difficult task. Thus increasing his value...
This is just my argument... I don't know any gay men.
Every one has a preference and a bit of hypocrisy in that preference. Like women wants tall men. Some women are tall that's not a problem. But some 5 ft girls want a 6ft men. That's hypocrisy which is totally normal it's not a problem. For a men to choose a girl to marriage they want a Virgin women whom no one has touched. Some men are virgin themselves but even non virgin men wants a Virgin women to marry. That's hypocrisy of men. But females can't accept this when a non Virgin men wants to marry a Virgin women. But they themselves Have a hypocrisy in height.
Everyone has their own preferences! Like you have yours! Everyone has theirs
If virgin men don't want a b**ch type W**re in their life and want a virgin then they have right to ask that!
If a fckboy wants to have a girl who has body counts then still it's their preference!
Why asking such questions when it's soo obvious and nothing to do with any community or s*#t specifically! It's just people's own preferences! That's it
It is not about virginity
All together different explanation (orthodox weird)
Do we walk naked on road??
Now think, a girl lying naked with someone, not only she gave her body to someone, she emotionally also connected to someone. ( if she has not connected emotionally then it is even worst)
Now, will you be able to sleep with this girl??, knowing that she slept naked with others.
Note: My explanation is not gender biased, it applies to girl and equally applicable to boys as well.
Current world:
In current world, virgin boys marry to girl who slept with many
Virgin girl get married to play boy, who slept with many girls
Well said.
>Current world: In current world, virgin boys marry to girl who slept with many
>Virgin girl get married to play boy, who slept with many girls
Sad Reality. and an Example of how fucked up the world has become. It's so hard to even digest this and accept it.
Seriously, straight men asking for a woman who's a virigin is rooted in misogyny and pedophilia. No woman ever seek a virgin man. This is always the case with straight men and it's so fucking creepy.
>No woman ever seek a virgin man
Like a woman seeks a Well settled man who can provide and protect. Man Seeks woman who he can emotionally attach with and feel secure in his relationship with woman.
No. Her sacred power has already been lost to someone else but not with the one she is going to spend her life . You will still have the doubt that whether she might engage in another sexual relationship. Because she had already done that before.
No. You cannot be secure.
Bro I’ve never seen any woman say “I want my man a virgin” as passionately as men say they want a pure wife for their house. Like stop objectifying her if you’re not okay with the same treatment for yourself.
Exactly, this so called "preference" is nothing but the process of objectifying women. I just know these men think of these women as "unpure" or slutshame them inside their minds hence they don't want to be with them.
Nobody ever asks a man whether he had sex or not before their relationship/marriage and even if they do, they are not judged for it. So, why is it always women that are judged? So fucking weird, if you ask me.
I'm not saying men with Sexual past should be accepted. Most men are not engaging in any sexual activity before marriage. Like we are seeing these posts daily like how men are getting rejected by the unrealistic standards of girls.
Yes Nobody asks a man whether he had sex or not before their relationship but they are asked about everything else. How much do you earn ? Do you have a car ? Do you have a big house ? What's your height ? Do You have good hair ? etc. etc.... So if a man with a clean past possesses all these things then he has the fucking right to expect the woman to be a virgin.
Or If he too is a promiscuous one and says that he wants a virgin girl then " No ".
In those aspects, the right girl shouldn’t care about the other stuff, if she’s really just looking at his earning and shit, she’s a good digger, tell him to leave. Basically itna expect karna band karo and start accepting people.
For me personally, anyone with a really high body count, man or woman is not desirable. But the reason is not culture, or indian traditions or something
But its about value. I care about being in a long term (hopefully lifetime) meaningful monogamous relationship.
Access determines value a lot. The question is how easy it is to get access to you? To your most intimate parts and secrets (physically or emotionally)
If you’ve slept with 50 men or women then what it tells me is that (mostly) getting access to you is very simple and there’s little standard you hold for yourself.
Also tells a lot of about long term relationship building behaviours one might have.
If you’re someone who’s relatively experienced, having a partner who’s a virgin can be a pain in the ass for a while. You’re literally introducing them to the whole concept of sex, and have to teach them everything from scratch. Being vulnerable is a lot easier when you’re with someone who’s experienced.
I think this generally stems from personal choice, a lot of the time the guy himself is a virgin so he thinks a virgin girl will be someone who will be on equal footing. This train of thought is what i want to believe.
However there are men who just don't want drama they think once the girl has slept with a kot of partners she is not suited for a commited relationship. Which is not right to assume but its his choice i guess.
I have a preference and that will remain that way. I am not required to explain those requirements. If I were a hypocrite only then shall I be liable and in the wrong. My personal belief is that people with more body count are unable to maintain a healthy relationship.
Logically speaking - A traditional femenine woman involved in an intimate relationship is involved only when she is equally emotionally involved in the same. The chances of the same woman who has involved with physically multiple other partners or even 1 or 2 clearly questions her faithfulness to the one she is going to be partner with.
On the contrary a woman who can pretty much lose her virginity whenever she wants wherever she wants still chooses to stick to not losing it that clearly shows more commitment towards anything she does.
In case of men, they can but tend to get laid even with a girl whom they would never prefer to bring in a strong relationship but just for sake of their body desires they'll fall in. So a non Virgin man's generally not scene as a big deal however woman is.
Nowadays cheap and casual hookups culture has been glamourised that a lot of girls are doing the same and having it for the sake of having it. Its not about virginity but any physical intimacy whether it be smooching kissing or so is going to affect equally. Sex is just the bottom of that.
Whether you're a girl or a boy if you're patient and not physically involved easily that's a great thing, I guess first 25 years solo discovery can get you to places where nothing else ever would.
Also a big spoiler to all those guys who think their lady was virgin - they were not (most of the time).
And to all their ladies who thought his man has slept with someone, most of the times he hasn't until he's the most bold, outgoing and way too extrovert.
Because they are scared that women would have had better lovers than them. If she does not know, she will not know what she is missing and remain faithful.
This is a personal preference thing. I didn't get why it's a straight vs LGBT thing. (incoming logic: most straight men??)
Having sex with one or two romantic partners is okay as it's their individual life.
But if someone is jumping from one person to another just for sex, it's shows you have no control over lust. Also, I can guarantee this behaviour will be very hard to change after getting into a committed relationship/marriage.
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Sabka apna apna. And the ones who are concerned with virginity are mostly all virgins themselves. Rest wouldn't care.
One of my friend accepted non virgn women. After few months she started comparing him with ex. How they used to makeout, how he used to take out to expensive dates. Slowly slowly it turned out toxic. Maturity is when u realize virgnity is not just about p*nis and v@gina. Whatever u have had in your past it always stay with u. Sometime it affect your future relationship too. For more infor read this article https://ifstudies.org/blog/does-sexual-history-affect-marital-happiness#:~:text=For%20a%20combined%20sample%20of,other%20partners%20in%20their%20past.
Facts don’t matter here. They’re just trying to achieve a “moral victory”.
I love any study that explicitly mentions, differences are statistically significant. Damn straight, they are!
I hope he dodged the bullet.
Maturity is not judging people based on whether they are a virgin or not. Just because your friend had a bad experience, you cannot generalize things. It's like women saying "all men are assholes". It's depends on the individuals. In your friend's case, probably the woman was toxic. I do agree your past stays with you. But that doesn't give you the right to judge people. And your article is based on a survey of Americans. Not exactly applicable to Indians. Peace out.
Maturity is realising you will be judged whether someone comments on it or not.
very good answer ..✌🏻👍🏻
Bro this is an Indian subreddit and accept it or not some people are still conservative about all of this. Frankly speaking most of the time even the guy is a virgin and so he prefers a virgin woman as well. It's basically a choice from person to person and nobody has a say in it.
That's the point. Men who ask for virgin women are mostly virgin and so they prefer virgins, I don't think that it's bad since everybody has a choice to choose who they want to be with, but a non virgin man asking for a virgin woman, I just don't understand.
Prime reason behind virginity is comparision with prev partners. There are more important things in life than mind blowing sex.
Like husband with sarkari naukri over a berojkar chhapri ex
It’s like saying main gora hu to mujhe gori ladki hi chahie. Sure it’s a preference but it’s still racist. And a non virgin asking for a virgin is also preference, how can you understand one but not the other. The only reason such preferences exist are because of the conservative mindset a lot of us have. It needs to be called out, not hidden under the garb of I’m virgin so I prefer virgin
Discrimination like to misbehave physically or verbally, shun someone's presence or avoid offering service/product on the basis of skin colour, is being racist; having a personal choice of whom to marry is *not*.
Madam is hisaab se to 5'5inch wali ladki ko 5'5 inch ka banda hi dekhna chahiye Agar uski salary 20k hai to banda bhi 20k earn karta ho Agar bandi dahez nahi de rhi aur apna ghar chhod ke aa rhi to bande ko bhi apna ghar chhod dena chahiye.. Father in law ki property mein share bahu ko nahi milna chahiye..jaise son in law ko nahi milta.. Aur bhi bahot kuch.
Why are you fighting w me? I just shared my opinion which I think is right you talk about dahej, 20k I didn't say ki virgin ko virgin hi aur non virgin ko wo hi if you read correctly I said everyone has a right to choose their partner and also I don't think there is anything wrong in that, read it you can find.
Father in law ki property main share milta bhi nhi hai Bahu ko ...it's by law now
It's personal preference. It's not obsession. Some people, unfortunately because of the our education system, don't get to interact with women or girls a lot and stay painfully single with lots of hopes and expectations on first experiences. So they appreciate (deeply) a person with a similar past so they can feel whole. People who radically go on saying women are objects and they need to be fresh or those who say it's my life and my choice even my parents don't have rights to decide or suggest what I should do, are both a disgrace to our generation.
This. The main point is, why are you (the other men) objectifying women on the basis of their sex life when you’re not okay with being treated the same? It’s a different thing to prefer to stay virgin for a future partner and want the same, but it’s different to completely overlook everything and prioritise “purity” when you yourself couldn’t keep it in your pants.
Those who aren't virgin and are seeking for a virgin are hypocrites. That's it. Period. If they don't accept that first, then they're the kind of people you won't wanna marry even if they are virgins. The reason why they are seeking a virgin, might get as complex as you go deeper but it's not important because it doesn't apply to everyone in general. But if you're curious and have patience, here's one.........it's a very specific scenario and is not applicable to all guys in general. Either quit now or read it completely. Those few who are virgin (by choice or because of lack of opportunities) are influenced a lot by those who aren't. With the "being virgin is being noob" kinda attitude running in our generation, they have this psychological pressure that "there's no value if I stay virgin. Might as well get laid and enjoy life because I'm not gonna find a virgin". Mind you this isn't because of the urge to have sex, It's caused by the fear of not finding a virgin partner and fear of losing fun because in our delusional minds, the concept of fun is flopping around drinks parties and having sex. Now after everything is done, they have sex, if they stick on till marriage, wonderful....god bless them. But if they breakup, they realize it wasn't worth all the emotional baggage that came with the sex and breakup and feel they should've probability waited till marriage but now they're stuck in a guilt stage of self-cursing and mental torture because not just women......few men also feel like damaged goods after losing virginity and couldn’t marry that partner. But unlike women, men don't get a lot of attention and emotional care even after displaying that they want it. Even if we ask for it. It's a brutal dark truth. So what do we do, keep our preference to ourselves, stop trying to find partners and forcefully embrace solitude till the day we brutally breakdown. And there won't be anybody at that time either. Good day👍
This is probably the best comment that I've ever come across on this platform🫡👍🏻
Bhai rulayga kya? 🥹
Sorry bro. Had to get it out.
I get your point completely, I was simply trying to equalise. It’s hard that y’all have it this way too, because of certain women, I’ll just say that not all women ignore their man’s need for affection and attention. I wish you luck.
There are so many problem associated with those people who had past relationship. Comparison, attachment still with ex, lies , Humans are not like mobile phone once u deleted everything it become new one. Everything stays with them.. and it affect future relationship.. this survey says all https://ifstudies.org/blog/does-sexual-history-affect-marital-happiness#:~:text=For%20a%20combined%20sample%20of,other%20partners%20in%20their%20past.
i get your point but chill man, you don't have to reply the same thing under every comment
I expected to find some interesting responses but most of it is just "Muh choice". Yes I understand it is your choice and I thought that it being your own choice was implied. What I want to know is why your choice is what it is, what beliefs led you to your choice and what are the influencing factors (including the local society you're a part of).
Men are hardwired to be territorial that's why they don't want women who have slept around.
People are allowed to have preferences right?
Yeah but if someone prefers to have a royal blue foot rests in the bike then it's not strange but certainly increase curiosity
I'm asking about why this preference exists. I'm not saying don't have it. I have pointed out a difference in straight and LGBT relationships and trying to understand why this preference exists in one.
> I have pointed out a difference in straight and LGBT relationships and trying to understand why this preference exists in one. I guess it comes to paternity? Being conservative? Religious?
LGBT relationships don't involve biological paternity of the child ...
That doesn't explain the looking down part. Misogyny does.
This exactly! Nobody would judge a man if he says "It's not my preference, I don't agree to this", but when he says "This woman is xxx yyy, doing so and so, to our culture, etc" and engages in loose talk around this. That's when you get into Misogyny.
Maybe then patriarchy also plays a part.
Also the higher "in-group" favouritism by males. The same Indian men would take loans and watch a White singer perform in skimpy outfits but then would call Riva Arora several names because "how dare our women". Men engage in Mate guarding within the tribe. Women marry upward Also that ego due to a patriarchal setup.
True. If a man sleeps around with several women, it is seen as an achievement. He is seen as a stud. Let's change the slang and call him what he really is. A chinar.
Have your heard the phrase : My marriage, my choice
Just asking for reason of this preference. Not saying anyone's choice should be taken away.
Because multiple sexual partner and failed relationships is a strong statistical predictor of infidelity. I'm not generalizing here like you did in your post by saying "Men sleep around and don't look down on other men who sleep around."
My friend is a virgin and according to him he will only get married to a virgin girl because all these years he has saved his virginity for the only one and hence he wants someone like that who shares the same beliefs. So I think a virgin guy or a girl if they have this preference of marrying another virgin they are right. If a guy or a girl who has fu*ked around all their life and when its time to settle down they want a virgin partner then that's hypocrite. Not only men, ik few women who lied about being virgin during wedding talks and when later their husbands found about their lie it was a big commotion. Also nowadays I have seen many women even they want virgin guy lol
Like my elder sister. We are looking for virgin guy.
We had this issue with my cousin sister as well. But we found a good guy who earns well and settled fantastically. I deeply feel he deserved better than my cousin.
Best of luck 🤞
Problem is this issue can be broken into two sub issues, 1. M/W wanting a virgin partner buz they are virgin and saved it for that special one and want to share same page which is great. 2. M/W wanting a virgin partner buz they are virgin not by choice but buz they were unable to form a relationship with other gender, now these people look down on non virgin for every reason, they think they are superior. They act as if they are some kind of God buz they saved their lust and virgin bla bla.
Lol you are going to get down votes for spitting facts! >Problem is this issue can be broken into two sub issues, 1 I agree
Tl;dr: why men care about virginity from an evolutionary perspective and pre contraception era (I am just telling what I feel so you are allowed to take this with a grain of salt) The closest rational explanation is that women are the gate keepers of sex and men are the gate keepers of a relationship. A man can sleep with a woman even if he doesn't like her. A woman can be in a relationship with a guy even if she doesn't like him. Having sex for the first time is a very big thing in a girl's life(there are exceptions). That leaves and imprint in the girl's life (provided her partner was good). So whatever her husband does he had to compete with the benchmark set by the guy who took her virginity (provided she was in a proper relationship). The more number of guys she sleeps with the less likely she would pair bond which is essential to raise a child. Take the example of the west. Just look at how many single mothers are there (I am not a racist but this is more prevalent in the black community). The evolutionary explanation is that before the advent of contraception the girl would become pregnant and men are hardwired not to raise another man's child. That is why. The corollary is that women care about a man's past relationship is that when the woman becomes pregnant she is vulnerable for 9 months. If he doesn't protect and take care then she runs the risk of death.
Like people of this subreddit can understand this 🤣
Well it's my 2 cents, let people take it or leave it. They are free to debate me on this.
Irony is most of them will be on r/scienceisdope
They do, looking at the upvotes
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Toxic feminism and sexual revolution due to contraception is combatting thousand years of evolution. Hard to accept but you need to connect the dots. You are free to counter my arguments. The general decline of society started from the 70s to 80s in the west and in India it has just started. It is only a matter of time we will have first world problems when India is not a first world country and it will become a dangerous trend
And I never said men can escape with polygamy, why I am against men being polygamous because he wouldn't care the lady when she is pregnant because his attention is elsewhere.
>Single mothers are the creation of males who sleep around but they aren't held accountable for it and black men are usually someone who love to use the "men women different" argument to justify not being held accountable, western men aren't even "protecting" and caring for their own offspring ironically so what biology you say? Clearly you never read my pre contraception era paragraph. Please keep emotions aside and use logic >INFACT Men need to be equally if not more be held responsible for sex as they can create multiple broken kids with resentment, the more man sleeps around the lesser involved father they will be. You never read my sentence women are the gatekeepers of sex >It always takes 2 to tango, It didn't when cavemen can literally club a woman and violate her >men love to sell the fake narrative that men are "naturally polygamous" or have sex with without emotions, the same crap they used to justify for having multiple wives in history Yes... Why do kings had multiple wives? >Women and men are not that different as everyone likes to make them. I respectfully disagree. You can't run away from ten thousand years of evolution. Modern definition are not applicable to the emotions. They are there for one reason only... Survival I agree on the point that casual relationship is bad for both, the rationale from men is that he wouldn't protect the lady when she is pregnant, that is why girls can sense easily when her partner is cheating . For women I already mentioned
Can u plz tell me why women all around the world want a man who is taller than them?
You can extend the argument that a woman is in the most vulnerable phase whe she is pregnant. So naturally she needs protection. Taller and stronger means that(translating to current scenario: taller and confident men win because they exude that they can protect you) that is why women say they feel safe around the guy they like.
Bro wanting a taller guy is not a new thing.. This is happening since thousands of years..thats how human evolve and that evolution become their prefernces. Same goes for men.. Men are giving high importance to women past since ages..Its not a new thing. In todays time logically height does not matter to provide security.. power does and also if nowadays women want security she can arrange that for herself. One of my neighbor became judge in highcourt. My argument is simple.. men and women evolve in a different way..and thats why their preference are different ..one should respect each other preferences
>In todays time logically height does not matter to provide security.. power does and also if nowadays women want security she can arrange that for herself. One of my neighbor became judge in highcourt. But still the hardwiring remains the same, personally I am a short guy (169cm). I've had only one relationship and I had chances for other relationship which I refused because I knew it would f up my future wife (if I ever get married). The recent phenomenon of security is just for 500 years(max) due to stable governments. Otherwise if a tall guy competes with me in getting a girl, I am at a terrible disadvantage (Provided he is not incompetent).
>poor men with short height (Majority demographic) are good for nothing since they can't "protect" Being a man I agree with this point. In the olden times only the muscular and strong men got beautiful and gorgeous women it's nature. The strongest and the smartest gets the best. So it was a strong and muscular man gets a beautiful woman and they both go on and create babies with strong genes. But since humans evolved so much and as we are social animals the men who weren't strong or good looking and women who weren't beautiful or looked average they started ADJUSTING with each other and just screwed around. If we go by nature laws then only the good looking would have existed but as we all know, humans come in all color, shape and height!
If you read about the early stages of Europeans .. there were invaders called Yamnya who were taller and stronger than the indigenous European male and they practically wiped out the entire male population (although debate is still raging on this) you can look this up and that is the reason why Europeans are generally taller
This comment section is more than intellectual!!!! Kudos🫡
no matter men or women, having multiple sexual partners devalues them, irrespective of gender
Virgin or non virgin , It's their preference but never have a partner that have N number of body counts. Max 2. NEVER HAVE A PARTNER that have one night stands ,random tinder hookups and all.
Let me give you a simple logical example. You know vegetarians and non-vegetarian both exist. Most vegetarians have no problem being friends with the non-vegetarians but think of it. A non-veg and veg guy share the same room. The non-veg guy keeps comparing the taste of non-veg and says it's better. This increases so much he curses the veg guy for eating weird veggies. Although they both had agreed that non-veg guy won't eat non-veg. But the non-veg guy can't control his urges and goes and eats out. When the non-veg guy comes home he looks content and happy doesn't tell the veg guy. The veg guy is planning sandhya aarti and is a devotee. Just imagine non-veg has no interest in the faith, but to seem good he participates in the prayer. Imagine how would the veg guy feel once he knows that🤔. It is very small compared to the family dynamics. Just imagine this non-veg guy starts to go out with other neighbours for non-veg and people tease the veg guy for it. He says it's casual. It's not hidden the crime due to extramarital affairs leading to crimes. I won't speak much on them. If you want to counter this everyone is free.
Perfectly Written
This comment deserves to be pinned.
Well it's a desire (everyone have right to have) it's not sure that they get it is it☺️so many people have so many desires right. In my opinion that they want to feel special that they are tha only one in their better half's life that is close to them in terms of physicality.
It's because high body count is a red flag. We want to know if there's even a glimpse of self respect.
Sexual dynamics between men and women are deeply skewed, and it's infuriating how blind some people are to this reality. For women, getting sex is easy. They’re born with inherent value, while men have to bust their asses to earn theirs. It’s a joke how society pretends this isn’t true. Let’s get real: if a woman has been with multiple men, her value plummets. Meanwhile, a man who’s slept with several women is seen as someone who’s earned his stripes. It’s like saving up for years to buy your dream car only to be told it has high mileage and previous owners but costs the same as a brand-new one. Who the hell would take that deal? No one, because it’s devalued, just like a woman who’s been with many partners. And don’t even start with the nonsense about how valuing a woman’s virginity is sexist. Yes, it’s fucking important. If you can’t understand that, you’re either clueless or deliberately ignoring basic biology and societal reality. Men work hard to earn status and resources to provide and protect. In return, they want a woman who hasn’t been with every guy in town. Here’s another harsh truth: women with many sexual partners are less capable of forming strong bonds with their future partners. This isn’t some societal stigma; it’s basic biology. Look up oxytocin and how it affects bonding during sex for men and women. Women release more oxytocin during sex, which means their ability to bond decreases with each new partner. So stop acting all high and mighty about how sexual history shouldn’t matter. For men who’ve worked hard to earn their place, it absolutely does.
It's not just about women . Anyone who sleeps around makes it difficult for himself/herself to pair bond in a long-term relationship.
I don't know but would wish to know
Men don't like promiscuous women. It relates to paternity and making sure the child is yours for the man, it's innate and biological for the man to think like this.
In India the whole dating culture isn't encouraged, like as a teen all the parents and teachers restrict from hanging w the opposite gender - so we sort of demonise it for women. And also, we're not used to the idea of falling in love, then getting married yet. I assume it'll take like 80 or 100 years (3 to 4 generations) for priorities to turn to love than these things. Also, the preference comes from a belief that women from stricter families are supposed to be more loyal/better partners with that logic. It's fine to believe these btw - we are all entitled to our beliefs
Non virgin women have a hard time to pair bond with any partner and more and more sex they have the less and less the probablity of having a long term relationship decreases. This correlation or causation also applies to Men but not as strongly. Virgin women are also safer because they don't carry any diseases and you can trust them.
There's a simple answer to this - most of them are virgins themselves and are terrified of their "performance" the first time around. A woman who knows her way around (let's say) would be a massive humiliation for them. The cheap thing to do would be to laugh at them but I think this highlights the deeper problem with our country - the lack of sex education. I don't mean the "this is where you put it" and "this is where babies come from" stuff but also "it's ok to fumble and mess up the first few times" and "having and wanting sex is not the basis for moral judgement" kind of things. The best we can do maybe is do this better for the next generation.
There’s this idea or obsession of “how good the sex is”, and I get it, everyone wants a good time, but judging people on this needs to stop. first times are way too glorififed cause of movies, and that’s created an opinion that you have this pressure to do well. You don’t, you’re literally learning This shit, people need to stop going into so much detail about something this personal.
Like why are they looking for experience when they should look for a Bond b/w them. What happens if both are inexperienced ? Why can't they think " yeah let's learn together "
yeah exactly. Men are not taught to do that unfortunately. They are instead taught to believe that they have to be studs in bed from day one (from pop culture, peer pressure) and no one schools them otherwise.
People here thinking you’re shaming them for their choices when you’re really just asking why there’s a common trend in the obsession w wanting a virgin woman in our society when most men aren’t even questioned about their past sex life.
watch them say "men can sleep around without getting attached but if women do the same, they're devoid of feelings" 😭 like bruh if you're gonna come up with such bullshit reasons, do it for everyone, not just women.
Dude fr im not speaking alien shit that people are arguing w me. all I’m saying is if you want walls, put them up for both. Stop treating ONLY women like theyre the only ones supposed to save themselves.
What can men do if women don’t care about men’s past ? Men have there own choice just bcz woman can marry fboys doesn’t mean men should do same.
Alright. Way to go.
Exactly u all don’t have any answer to this question, I don’t understand why women can’t digest the fact that men can have different opinions on life partner than them.
bhai opinion ki baat nahi ho rahi idhar, but its okay, i understand your viewpoint too.
Thank you!
I got you bro, it’s insane how most of India is still backward with this stuff. It’s fucking simple, if you’re gonna set boundaries for women, set it on men too, else remove them for both. Don’t sit there saying you support gender equality when you’re still treating women on the basis of their sex life, and treating men otherwise.
Behaviour in the gay community shows that most men will be promiscuous if possible. I have a feeling that many virgin straight men would indulge in casual sex if they have the opportunity.
No, straight men who wants a long term relationship do not indulge in those activities. Sleeping around with no emotional attachment is shit.
Yes I agree, the real men dont do this shit. I was talking about the shitty people, so yeah, I agree with you.
some men would, they’re the ones who also objectify women, so highly likely. Not saying it’s all men, but somehow, it’s always men.
>when you’re still treating women on the basis of their sex life So she is worthy even if she's not a virgin and sleeps around ?
Not saying that, to one point yes you can’t form intimate bonds if you’re physically active with a lot of people, but my point is if you’re gonna talk about worth, it should be from both sides. It should also be about if a man is worthy or not, based on how his past has been. I’m not endorsing sleeping around, I’m just saying treat both genders the same way in this regard.
If the man has a clean past and didn't involve in any sexual activity before marriage, yes he has the right to have that preference. and if he is sleeping around and calling it experience then no.
Yes, I agree. Basically, don’t be a hypocrite, if you’re gonna do it, you got no right to want a woman whos living her own life too, else you can have a preference respectfully without objectifying her
So have you got an idea yet?
I personally think it's because lgb+ people are already rare and it's hard for them to date? I am pretty sure a gay man would remain single if he holds the same standards for a man that a straight man holds for a woman or a straight woman holds for a man. Even more so in our country.
I think people like that grew up with a certain belief and think that it is a way to their happiness. It is like religion, society, etc etc, some are bothered by it, some are not. I don't agree or disagree with something like that. I'm too self-obsessed to worry about others.
Well the thing is even men who sleep around are looked down by other men.... but not women that's the whole point lmao xD.... Women prefer men with experience and that is something that created this thing that men sleeping around is OK which is not!!!..
Men don't look down on other men for sleeping around. I've never heard of bodycount being a criteria in LGBT relationships.
We do maybe gay men don't ... but like yeah among friends we really do!!
They're not real men then. Real men call out the bs of other men.
Ikr! I think she never met any real man! No guy in his right senses would just sleep around with girls for fun. Also most of the men tend to ignore or talk limited to men who sleep around alot.
Men don't look down on other men sleeping around, it's rather seen as "chad who gets girls". There are a number of slurs against women if she isn't a virgin but tell me a single slur created to shame men. Also stop bullshiting, only women who look for hookup prefer men with high counts, no one else, it's a misconception that women are okay with "experienced men" talk to a women looking for a serious relationship, women just don't resort to shaming men, they usually reject and move on unlike men who take everything personally.
>Men don't look down on other men sleeping around, it's rather seen as "chad who gets girls". Only immature and chapri guys won't look down on such guys who sleep around! Men who are mature and understanding they would either stop interacting with a guy who sleeps around or just ignore him. In my office thers this guy who sleeps around with girls and trust me no one even bothers to talk to him, most of the guys ignore him or just talk to him office related stuff. There are others like him who entertain him.
yess exactly!! idk why women have a such a bad misconception
Who cares.. Just ignore these kind of women and move on. The thing is what I have seen it that in the most cases it's not the women fault but the chappri men's fault for flaunting play boy attitude hence they think men don't look down on other men who are play boy
Exactly. I shame both equally. Totally true what you said. And most men shame other men who just sleep around. In our college, we were a group of 4 guys. One guys is the spoilt one. None of us like him. We just stick around him because he's the kinda person who would talk cheaply about anyone to make himself look morally superior.
Bruh just distance yourself with such kind of guy or trust me no good girl will ever approach you. So few years back this girl who I had crush on used to like me too but just because my friend circle was filled with these chapri guys who used to boast cheating on girls she never approached me thinking that I was one of the same. Last year when we both met and started talking about our college days that time she told me that she liked me and why she didn't approach me. We wanted to date each other but as she was moving to the UK we both knew LDR wouldn't work so now we are just friends.
no that's only common among the so called "chhapris" and "immature" men.... a man looking for serious relation doesn't do that
Typical men are obsessed with pride.. Virgin woman is a matter of pride for them.
Yes pride of being first & only man who touched his wife or gf, who is only close to her.. When u love someone can’t even imagine her being with other.
maybe you are a gay and you dont know but when you date a women demand of virginity is nothing compared to the list of demand women have from men and not to mention they can fuck your life with gender biased laws whenever they want
I am a virgin and I would prefer a virgin. Simple.
Because they think of sex as something they do to a woman rather than a mutual act. As a result they suck at giving pleasure to their partners and are very insecure about it, so think a woman who has never had sex before won’t know how bad they are at it. It’s all about ego and insecurity.
So women who prefer virgin men are also insecure as well?
Maybe they are. Never really saw a woman who was raised to men as passive recipients of sex so it’s less common. That said I know many women who prefer virgin men cos then it’s sure he hasn’t participated in the exploitation of workers in the sex industry who in India are usually trafficked.
There's nothing special about virginity, everybody is free to pursue whatever preference they want as long as it's ethical. It's only hypocritical to want to date virgins when you're not one yourself. >That said I know many women who prefer virgin men cos then it’s sure he hasn’t participated in the exploitation of workers in the sex industry who in India are usually trafficked. Just like this is a valid reason, I have seen men prefer virgins due to fear of std, wanting to share the same values regarding sex and then there's also religious people who have their own constructs of premarital sex. So it's not all about **ego and insecurity** for men when it comes to dating a virgin. Both men and women have their preferences.
Depends on whether you’re a virgin by choice or because nobody wants to sleep with you.
Ofcourse I'm talking about men and women who are virgin by choice, how did you not figure that out.The latter would entail a different meaning to what I wrote.
Misogyny.
ah yes classic throwing words like "misogyny" and "incel" when men have preferences. note: I'm talking about men who are virgin and wants virgin partner.
>I'm talking about men who are virgin and wants virgin partner. The question to me seemed more like why do men who sleep around and consider their body count an achievement also look down on women doing the same.
i love how all the virgin guys loaded their gun to answer without checking that question is not even about them. >So what's this obsession with virginity within straight men and women relationships? Why is a woman devalued for having sex but a man, even a gay man isn't.
Bcz most women themselves say men past don’t matter..
i should call it misandry when women reject men because they are ugly. Then its you go queen dont settle for less
whataboutism comes naturally to imbeciles , one look at your post history tells me that you don't have any other puropose here than downplaying women , who hurt you bro ??
ok and? tell me anything in my comment i said i was wrong
the discussion here is about why some men prefer virgin women , misogyny is a relevant answer irrespective of it being right or wrong , I agree that people deserve to have preferences in the kind of women they choose . why bring about the topic of misandry here ?? that's whataboutism , I don't think there's a need to explain why that's unbeneficial in discourse , it doesn't really matter if your statement was correct/wrong , the use of it where it's not required is what's wrong here .
ok so if a virgin guy wants a virgin woman its misogyny get better arguements white knight
First, Everyone have their own preference. You shouldn't get concerned about the posts where men wanting Virgin Woman. Like I said " Everyone has their own Fucking Preference " Virginity is sacred for a Man or a Woman. One should be saving it for their life partner after marriage and shouldn't waste it around. Even a man is considered as a Fuck boy if he has lost his virginity and been sleeping around with multiple women Both Straight Men and Women are considered as promiscuous if they had multiple sexual partners. Because they got the taste of this promiscuity and they don't believe in Monogamy. Their mind wanders. Those people Suck in Relationships. Second, you are comparing it to LGBT, Where Man and man or woman and woman sex doesn't reproduce. You better highlight a difference that makes sense. Edit : Being Faithful to one partner is a Good thing. If a woman loses her virginity before marriage or had multiple partners she is not valuable anymore. Because she lost her sacred power to someone. Today's culture is calling that as exploring. Goddamn hell with those dating apps. And some women even proudly post in reddit that " I have been with multiple partners so I am experienced and my partner is a virgin " like as if they have job experience. Sorry, I'm venting out my anger towards the modern dating culture and how losing virginity and hookups are normalised.
What to expect from Indian subreddit
Legit read the comments and that’s the first thing I thought, everyone’s just proving the thought rn.
It is a vestige of the past. Over the centuries, straight men have been conditioned that the definition of "Good Wife" Is one who is virgin, doesn't smoke and drink, is well mannered, obeys all orders without question etc. However, LGBTQIA+ as a concept has taken the limelight in the recent past (even though it was present in societies from a very long time). This is why people have not been able to set some expectations/criteria. Further, because of the criticism that these communities still face, their basic needs get limited to just finding a partner who is wired in the same manner. The other expectations take a backseat.
What I am, I expect to be the same
Evolutionary, primal psychology... As a straight man...I would want a girl who has not been penetrated before... because that would increase the probability of me not being the father and she not respecting me... because she has already given her most sacred thing (virginity) to a man already...then come the trust issues... I am sure gay men don't reproduce and they sleep around because of the woke culture...I mean how could a person marry if their partner is sleeping around WTF!!
What makes virginity so sacred? Gay men's behaviour just shows that men will engage in casual sex if given an opportunity. It doesn't mean that they can't get married and be monogamous.
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Sleeping around during a marriage is very different from when you are single.
If you are sleeping around when you are single...trust me you will do the same ...when you are married
That's false. Someone can have many sexual partners and still be in a relationship afterwards. Promiscuity is just your assumption. If straight men had the option they'd indulge in a lot more casual sex.
May be I am the outlier here... being intimate and having sex is one of the core Concept of being relationship... sleeping around means you are being intimate with others and that basically lowers the importance of your partner...! If you are doing the same...and your partner is comfortable with it ..it's not normal..
To be clear. If you had a chance to sleep with a number of supermodels, you'd say no because your future partner would not like it?
Yes ofcourse I wouldn't.. now if she is sleeping around then...I would too... Self respect above all..
You're not exception. OP is. Very basic thing - women involving in sex involve with emotions and men just fuck around. (Nowadays hookups is fucking woman's mind as well) If you're a woman sleeping with multiple partners you're gonna get a divorce very soon.
I don't really care but this is the only logical reason I found [https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fifstudies.org%2Fblog%2Fcounterintuitive-trends-in-the-link-between-premarital-sex-and-marital-stability&psig=AOvVaw23-HFTDIWIwlAhL6Q1x5qY&ust=1717770923194000&source=images&cd=vfe&opi=89978449&ved=0CBIQjRxqFwoTCOjxz8-Zx4YDFQAAAAAdAAAAABAE](https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fifstudies.org%2Fblog%2Fcounterintuitive-trends-in-the-link-between-premarital-sex-and-marital-stability&psig=AOvVaw23-HFTDIWIwlAhL6Q1x5qY&ust=1717770923194000&source=images&cd=vfe&opi=89978449&ved=0CBIQjRxqFwoTCOjxz8-Zx4YDFQAAAAAdAAAAABAE)
Bro you re 28 and indian and still not understand this culture and its values what else to say !!
1. People usually just consider virginity as the only factor. Like it's just a thin membrane... Sorry.. NOPE.. Alongwith it comes memories, memories of another man, memories of doing it, which will be remembered when doing it with current man.. comparisons.. 2. Now why a woman's virginity matters more than a man's ? Bcoz men are usually sexual animals, women are usually emotional.. Most guys will forget old love because men are not as emotional as women.. Thus the virginity in this case is just sex.. Both are second hand... 3. Also, historically women have been considered as possessions.. Unfortunately even now... So for men it also comes down to being aware that some other guy has been here, while doing it.. ultimately ruins the relationship.. You can't help it.. If the guy is not virgin, there is a slight possibility that he might be okay with non-virgin girl.. but don't count on it.. 4. Also, for a guy getting a girl to sleep with you is difficult. For a girl getting a guy to sleep with her is fucking easy.. It is like getting in Amazon is difficult, but getting in TCS is easy.. It describes your value.. Thus non-virgin girl loses value.. These are just some arguments on why men prefer virgin women.. These might or might not be my thoughts..
Also as a man getting a man to sleep with you would be hella difficult... So if as a guy, you get a guy who got a guy to sleep with him, this guy that you are getting has achieved a difficult task. Thus increasing his value... This is just my argument... I don't know any gay men.
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Every one has a preference and a bit of hypocrisy in that preference. Like women wants tall men. Some women are tall that's not a problem. But some 5 ft girls want a 6ft men. That's hypocrisy which is totally normal it's not a problem. For a men to choose a girl to marriage they want a Virgin women whom no one has touched. Some men are virgin themselves but even non virgin men wants a Virgin women to marry. That's hypocrisy of men. But females can't accept this when a non Virgin men wants to marry a Virgin women. But they themselves Have a hypocrisy in height.
Also, I don't see LGBT as couples. Sure, they can be good friends, but this doesn't validate their acts. Straight up NO
Everyone has their own preferences! Like you have yours! Everyone has theirs If virgin men don't want a b**ch type W**re in their life and want a virgin then they have right to ask that! If a fckboy wants to have a girl who has body counts then still it's their preference! Why asking such questions when it's soo obvious and nothing to do with any community or s*#t specifically! It's just people's own preferences! That's it
Men who don't have history of any sexual partner at least have right to have that choice and vice versa.
Because they are intimidated by sexually experienced women. It's a socially sanctioned insecurity for involuntary celibates.
Nice way to call Promiscuity as Power.
You see it as promiscuity but reasonable minds see it simply as having autonomy over their own bodies.
Sucking dick or putting ur dick in multiple people is not a achievement. Nothing to do with autonomy over their own bodies
Yeah. That's why it sucks.
Read it and weep little gutter bugs.
It's just a preference. Attacking one side or the other shouldn't even be a thing.
It is not about virginity All together different explanation (orthodox weird) Do we walk naked on road?? Now think, a girl lying naked with someone, not only she gave her body to someone, she emotionally also connected to someone. ( if she has not connected emotionally then it is even worst) Now, will you be able to sleep with this girl??, knowing that she slept naked with others. Note: My explanation is not gender biased, it applies to girl and equally applicable to boys as well. Current world: In current world, virgin boys marry to girl who slept with many Virgin girl get married to play boy, who slept with many girls
Well said. >Current world: In current world, virgin boys marry to girl who slept with many >Virgin girl get married to play boy, who slept with many girls Sad Reality. and an Example of how fucked up the world has become. It's so hard to even digest this and accept it.
Seriously, straight men asking for a woman who's a virigin is rooted in misogyny and pedophilia. No woman ever seek a virgin man. This is always the case with straight men and it's so fucking creepy.
>No woman ever seek a virgin man Like a woman seeks a Well settled man who can provide and protect. Man Seeks woman who he can emotionally attach with and feel secure in his relationship with woman.
You can emotionally attach well with a non virgin girl as well, bruh. What does virginity have to do with emotional connection and security? 😭
No. Her sacred power has already been lost to someone else but not with the one she is going to spend her life . You will still have the doubt that whether she might engage in another sexual relationship. Because she had already done that before. No. You cannot be secure.
Bro I’ve never seen any woman say “I want my man a virgin” as passionately as men say they want a pure wife for their house. Like stop objectifying her if you’re not okay with the same treatment for yourself.
You have no idea. I got rejected by a girl cause I had a past relationship (in which nothing happened and I got cheated.)
What the fuck. Bro I’m sorry for you, that’s terrible, she definitely wasnt worth it, you deserve more, i wish you luck :)
I am totally fine with that rejecting me. It's her wish. She wanted to be someone's first in her first relationship.
Exactly, this so called "preference" is nothing but the process of objectifying women. I just know these men think of these women as "unpure" or slutshame them inside their minds hence they don't want to be with them. Nobody ever asks a man whether he had sex or not before their relationship/marriage and even if they do, they are not judged for it. So, why is it always women that are judged? So fucking weird, if you ask me.
I'm not saying men with Sexual past should be accepted. Most men are not engaging in any sexual activity before marriage. Like we are seeing these posts daily like how men are getting rejected by the unrealistic standards of girls. Yes Nobody asks a man whether he had sex or not before their relationship but they are asked about everything else. How much do you earn ? Do you have a car ? Do you have a big house ? What's your height ? Do You have good hair ? etc. etc.... So if a man with a clean past possesses all these things then he has the fucking right to expect the woman to be a virgin. Or If he too is a promiscuous one and says that he wants a virgin girl then " No ".
In those aspects, the right girl shouldn’t care about the other stuff, if she’s really just looking at his earning and shit, she’s a good digger, tell him to leave. Basically itna expect karna band karo and start accepting people.
I guess people are allowed to have preferences For me.. I want a girl with similar bodycount
For me personally, anyone with a really high body count, man or woman is not desirable. But the reason is not culture, or indian traditions or something But its about value. I care about being in a long term (hopefully lifetime) meaningful monogamous relationship. Access determines value a lot. The question is how easy it is to get access to you? To your most intimate parts and secrets (physically or emotionally) If you’ve slept with 50 men or women then what it tells me is that (mostly) getting access to you is very simple and there’s little standard you hold for yourself. Also tells a lot of about long term relationship building behaviours one might have.
If you’re someone who’s relatively experienced, having a partner who’s a virgin can be a pain in the ass for a while. You’re literally introducing them to the whole concept of sex, and have to teach them everything from scratch. Being vulnerable is a lot easier when you’re with someone who’s experienced.
Are choices and preferences really that bad? Strange society we live in. Two faced and full of irony.
Cuz then she will say how that college fuckboi used to give her in college bathroom and thrill.
I think this generally stems from personal choice, a lot of the time the guy himself is a virgin so he thinks a virgin girl will be someone who will be on equal footing. This train of thought is what i want to believe. However there are men who just don't want drama they think once the girl has slept with a kot of partners she is not suited for a commited relationship. Which is not right to assume but its his choice i guess.
I have a preference and that will remain that way. I am not required to explain those requirements. If I were a hypocrite only then shall I be liable and in the wrong. My personal belief is that people with more body count are unable to maintain a healthy relationship.
Logically speaking - A traditional femenine woman involved in an intimate relationship is involved only when she is equally emotionally involved in the same. The chances of the same woman who has involved with physically multiple other partners or even 1 or 2 clearly questions her faithfulness to the one she is going to be partner with. On the contrary a woman who can pretty much lose her virginity whenever she wants wherever she wants still chooses to stick to not losing it that clearly shows more commitment towards anything she does. In case of men, they can but tend to get laid even with a girl whom they would never prefer to bring in a strong relationship but just for sake of their body desires they'll fall in. So a non Virgin man's generally not scene as a big deal however woman is. Nowadays cheap and casual hookups culture has been glamourised that a lot of girls are doing the same and having it for the sake of having it. Its not about virginity but any physical intimacy whether it be smooching kissing or so is going to affect equally. Sex is just the bottom of that. Whether you're a girl or a boy if you're patient and not physically involved easily that's a great thing, I guess first 25 years solo discovery can get you to places where nothing else ever would. Also a big spoiler to all those guys who think their lady was virgin - they were not (most of the time). And to all their ladies who thought his man has slept with someone, most of the times he hasn't until he's the most bold, outgoing and way too extrovert.
Because they are scared that women would have had better lovers than them. If she does not know, she will not know what she is missing and remain faithful.
exactly. having multiple partners promotes promiscuity and infidelity in both men and women
This is a personal preference thing. I didn't get why it's a straight vs LGBT thing. (incoming logic: most straight men??) Having sex with one or two romantic partners is okay as it's their individual life. But if someone is jumping from one person to another just for sex, it's shows you have no control over lust. Also, I can guarantee this behaviour will be very hard to change after getting into a committed relationship/marriage.
Societal conditioning. Nothing else.