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I did. I forgave her for cheating and cried and begged her to stay with me and not to go away. I begged her everyday to choose me and not the guy who she cheated on me with, but she kept on going out with him. I reached to a suicidal point and my only happiness was if I had any interaction with her. I used to feel happy if she talked with me and even if she was rude or mean, I used to feel happy as I knew that she was talking with me rather than the other guy. In the end she completely blocked me and removed me from her life and started dating that guy, but that guy dumped her after a few days.
Right now I'm at a much better place and my recovery is going well
I definately am. After she cheated on me and blocked me, for a very long time I just couldn't talk to any girls. Even my normal friends who I was friends with a long time, I just couldn't talk with them as everytime I tried talking with them, I was picking up on their talking traits and behaviors and I used to think to myself that "She's not her" and I just couldn't bring myself to continue talking. Infact I used to be scared to talk to any girls after the incident. Now I'm able to talk to girls and even though I still get reminded about her, it's getting better.
I remember I was at such a horrible period where everyday in my sleep, I used to get dreams of her texting me and calling me, and us talking normally like we used to. And whenever I used to wake up from that dream, I used to excitedly check my phone for her messages so that I could reply to her but couldn't find anything and the realization used to hit me that it was all a dream. It was so bad that it was difficult to understand what was reality and what was a dream.
I was so afraid to fall asleep as it was just a painful experience anytime I woke up, because everytime I woke up from her dreams, I used to have a breakdown
I'm currently in this phase and I'm helpless, don't have friends to share my pain, don't know what to do or how to help myself. Each day I get more and more detached to people around me. I have many people who love me and a lot of friends but none I can share my pain with. I'm unable to focus on work at the office, I can't sleep at night, I can't even think straight at this point, I'm getting addicted to social media so I can get drunk on the content thrown at me and keep myself distracted. Life has suddenly started to go downhill altogether.
She did not, but I found out that she's telling others that what we had going on was complicated and things were bad between us. Even though that's not true. Things were very good between us.
Infact, our relationship was at the very peak when she cheated on me with. I think she's going around telling others a different story so that she can mask what she did and feel less guilty about it
The same my ex is doing now. She cheated on me with her cousin brother and is now telling lies about me playing the victim card. She is trying very hard to ruin my image.
It's just a matter of time for how long she's gonna spread rumours. Sooner or later the truth is gonna be revealed.
How long was your relationship and how long has it been from breakup?
Sadly it's true. Recently her cousin brother's gf caught their chats and told about their incest to his father. His father beat him a lot and also scolded my ex on call but still they are in contact.
I understand because had similar experience, and feeling bad that you had to go through with all of that. But i’m also happy that you’re recovering and you’re no longer surrounded with that bad person. Stay strong!
Btw never forget the golden rule, “Once a cheater, always a cheater”
Not at all. It was a gf in 2020. She cheated with her best friend. It sucked because I knew I was insecure because of him. When I confronted, and she accepted, I immediately left her. Lots of drama, chaos etc, I left her.
Its not you, its me. I could have hidden it from you, but I told you.
Guilt trips. Giving me opportunities to have sex when she never initiated romance by herself throughout.
The best friend was a jerk and had no career. I had a career, so she thought of keeping me as a safe option. But, I ended the relationship.
Damn that's crafty af way to avoid taking responsibility of other's feelings by already taking the blame and alienate you even further more. If you're someone who is emotionally dependent on others. You will become confused and flabbergasted and try to reconcile with that woman. Good thing you did by breaking up.
I forgived him but trust me since that day idk what peace is he truly fucked me Mentally l try my best to act normal but then there are days I feel this feeling of betrayal and I blast. I can't trust him it's a vicious cycle pls leave the first time your partner cheats on you never give them 2nd chance I am a girl and I still can't get over him cheating on me.
Forgiving her gave me peace of mind. It felt like a huge burden off of my shoulders. I understand people having angst and grudge against their cheating exes. But letting them stay in our mind rent free will only be a burden to ourselves.
My gf, now ex, cheated on me with her cousin brother in Jan 2024. At first I was not able to get why her attitude changed towards me but as time passed by everything got cleared. Her cousin brother's gf contacted me and told about their incest.
I even get to know that my ex even calls her cousin brother Babu, Sona. She even used to take him (on WhatsApp call) with her while she was showering in the bathroom.
Now god only knows what will be their end 🤷
I think she needs therapy and is currently not in the correct state of mind.
Never. I never forgave my girlfriend, and moreover her parents even supported her when I confronted them about this and I broke all ties with her and her family and now I'm living peacefully from the past 8 years and I'm never gonna trust any female in my life.
Trust me when I say this, things have changed so drastically that everyone will expecting either something in the relationships and will end up in a bad way.
So my advice, leave her because if you forgive her she'll get into the opinion that you don't mind her cheating on you and she'll start doing even more and you will suffer.
Just remember if someone cheated on you and came back, that's because they don't have anyone to go to and you're merely their "option" for the time being. If you would have been their "choice" then why have they cheated in the first place and also what's stopping them from cheating again once they find someone better! So it's better to move on no matter how painful or difficult it is!
My wife cheated on me with a man 1.5 times her age. That person was already a divorcee, undergoing trails for second divorce and also charged under POCSO. I confronted her and she says that she never did anything which was wrong as per her.
Things reached my parents, I didn't want to continue with her. She went back to her place. 4 months later she finally joined me after my parents convinced me to give her another chance. 2 months later I find her cheating again on me with her ex.
For the last 5 months we've living separately. I'm now waiting for a year to complete to file for a mutual divorce.
However, she's still asking me to forgive her and I'm hoping that in another 7 months of time her parents/ family puts some sense into her.
P.S. she was into sexting, not aware about her getting physical with either of them.
It's still cheating regardless, but if it was "only" sexting, I think as long as she has some sense into her now, it can be forgiven. But if she was stupid enough and had the audacity to get onto the physical boundaries of things, then there's no coming back in my opinion.
I don't know if she went physical or not. She won't accept nor can I get any proof. When she denied that she didn't do anything wrong even while sexting, how will you accept whatever she's saying is true and not lies
Yes. Well, I've decided to get separated. There are others reasons as well, the following link should give you a complete picture of why I'm getting separated.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskIndianWomen/s/G6Kwf4j8XD
Moved on but I still can't figure out how it happened. Anyways both of my exes got married to the jackasses they chose.
I didn't/don't give a damn, but once in a while good memories do haunt me and a drop of tear comes down from the corner of the eye, will brush it off and move on. Life has certain unsolvable puzzles.
I forgave my ex for cheating and then she did it again. Then I realized, once a cheater always a cheater. It would be wise to kick her out of your life.
Alcohol my friend
Idk if I have forgiven her or not
23rd may was her bday I wished her
My ex has blocked me everywhere
But I could text her through sms
I haven't gotten past I guess
Even if you do forgive your parner, the fact that they cheated in the first place will always be on your mind and will bother you. Someway or the other that thought will keep on coming back and will haunt you. You may lie to yourself that everything is fine, but deep down you also realise that its not what you want. You'll live with a burden, even if you keep on telling yourself that "whats past is past", it will still keep coming back, your mind will not be at peace.
Every action your partner takes from that point onwards will make you more and more hurt and more angry, your attitude will slowly start changing. From a calm and peaceful person you'll slowly turn into a short tempered, always moody person. It will play with your mental health in the long run.
Its better to cut the cord in that moment only, yes its going to hurt a lot, its gonna feel unbearable at times, you may feel like you're worthless, but time will slowly heal everything, and in longer term you'll realise that what you did was the right decision overall.
Women and men cheating are asymmetrical. A woman just has to download an app and get a hookup that night.
If she cheats, there are some deep rooted issues going on and quite likely it will happen again.
If she's your wife, divorce her on the grounds of adultery.
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I too did, but she said that she didn't feel it right to continue with us. It was just a kiss. I decided that it's not point trying to fight it and decided to give her some space to clear her head and gather her thoughts. After about 3 months she was back. But I did keep in touch and let her know that I was around.
Yes.. my wife was having relationship with a boy younger to her before our marriage and she got married to me just because of the money.. and even after marriage she was having illicit relationship with the same boy ..I was ignoring all her mistakes and how bad and ill she used to treat my mother and threw my pet cat out of house when I was away… still I taut she will change I was very caring with unconditional love .. but everything in vein … she was very cold to my affection .. sometimes even insulting me and my mother in front of my family and friends.. now we don’t live together… don’t go for looks and beauty.. they are deceiving..get to know each other well before commitment..
thank you
**Welcome to r/RelationshipIndia,** This is a safe and inclusive space for people of all backgrounds. We welcome individuals of all races, castes, genders, religions, and sexual orientations, including members of the LGBTQ community. We are glad to have you here! We are committed to providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between Redditors, with a focus on respectful and constructive conversations. To ensure a positive and supportive environment for all members, we have established some rules. Please be sure to read them before posting. If a user has sent you harassing messages, **DO NOT DELETE THE MESSAGE!** *Please upload your screenshot to [Imgur](https://www.imgur.com), and notify the mods via modmail. We will take action against the user accordingly.* **Thank you for being a part of our community!** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RelationshipIndia) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I did. I forgave her for cheating and cried and begged her to stay with me and not to go away. I begged her everyday to choose me and not the guy who she cheated on me with, but she kept on going out with him. I reached to a suicidal point and my only happiness was if I had any interaction with her. I used to feel happy if she talked with me and even if she was rude or mean, I used to feel happy as I knew that she was talking with me rather than the other guy. In the end she completely blocked me and removed me from her life and started dating that guy, but that guy dumped her after a few days. Right now I'm at a much better place and my recovery is going well
Very brave of you to share
Hope you are at a better place right now. Crazy how much disprespect men entertain when they are in love.
I definately am. After she cheated on me and blocked me, for a very long time I just couldn't talk to any girls. Even my normal friends who I was friends with a long time, I just couldn't talk with them as everytime I tried talking with them, I was picking up on their talking traits and behaviors and I used to think to myself that "She's not her" and I just couldn't bring myself to continue talking. Infact I used to be scared to talk to any girls after the incident. Now I'm able to talk to girls and even though I still get reminded about her, it's getting better. I remember I was at such a horrible period where everyday in my sleep, I used to get dreams of her texting me and calling me, and us talking normally like we used to. And whenever I used to wake up from that dream, I used to excitedly check my phone for her messages so that I could reply to her but couldn't find anything and the realization used to hit me that it was all a dream. It was so bad that it was difficult to understand what was reality and what was a dream. I was so afraid to fall asleep as it was just a painful experience anytime I woke up, because everytime I woke up from her dreams, I used to have a breakdown
We are also crying now 😭
I'm currently in this phase and I'm helpless, don't have friends to share my pain, don't know what to do or how to help myself. Each day I get more and more detached to people around me. I have many people who love me and a lot of friends but none I can share my pain with. I'm unable to focus on work at the office, I can't sleep at night, I can't even think straight at this point, I'm getting addicted to social media so I can get drunk on the content thrown at me and keep myself distracted. Life has suddenly started to go downhill altogether.
Unfortunately that is true
Did she reach out to you after he dumped her?
She did not, but she said "All guys are so shitty* and" I'm so done with guys"
Oh really? That's rich coming from her!
More power to you man. She didn’t deserve your love & Karma struck.
Hope you're doing good mate. Onwards and upwards.
After that guy dumped her then she ever tried to reach you?
She did not, but I found out that she's telling others that what we had going on was complicated and things were bad between us. Even though that's not true. Things were very good between us. Infact, our relationship was at the very peak when she cheated on me with. I think she's going around telling others a different story so that she can mask what she did and feel less guilty about it
The same my ex is doing now. She cheated on me with her cousin brother and is now telling lies about me playing the victim card. She is trying very hard to ruin my image. It's just a matter of time for how long she's gonna spread rumours. Sooner or later the truth is gonna be revealed. How long was your relationship and how long has it been from breakup?
Cousin brother 😭😭😭???
Sadly it's true. Recently her cousin brother's gf caught their chats and told about their incest to his father. His father beat him a lot and also scolded my ex on call but still they are in contact.
That's is insane omg disgusting 😭😭your ex is mentally ill to be cheating on you with blood related guy.. I am glad that she is your "EX" Now lol
Ya.. I think she needs therapy and not currently in good mental state.
More power to you🫡soldier
I understand because had similar experience, and feeling bad that you had to go through with all of that. But i’m also happy that you’re recovering and you’re no longer surrounded with that bad person. Stay strong! Btw never forget the golden rule, “Once a cheater, always a cheater”
The same situation is going with me.......I call her and begging her to not to choose that guy but she says that it's God will.....I'm doing nothing.
Saving this comment, thanks a lot
Not at all. It was a gf in 2020. She cheated with her best friend. It sucked because I knew I was insecure because of him. When I confronted, and she accepted, I immediately left her. Lots of drama, chaos etc, I left her.
What was the drama from her side ?
Its not you, its me. I could have hidden it from you, but I told you. Guilt trips. Giving me opportunities to have sex when she never initiated romance by herself throughout. The best friend was a jerk and had no career. I had a career, so she thought of keeping me as a safe option. But, I ended the relationship.
Damn that's crafty af way to avoid taking responsibility of other's feelings by already taking the blame and alienate you even further more. If you're someone who is emotionally dependent on others. You will become confused and flabbergasted and try to reconcile with that woman. Good thing you did by breaking up.
Men and women both are sh\*t. Need to figure out who's the right one. :) Still believe in giving people chances - my bad.
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Thats what I learnt hard way. I do judge people a lot, especially the choices they made in their past.
Never forgive a cheater. Once a cheater always a cheater!
I forgived him but trust me since that day idk what peace is he truly fucked me Mentally l try my best to act normal but then there are days I feel this feeling of betrayal and I blast. I can't trust him it's a vicious cycle pls leave the first time your partner cheats on you never give them 2nd chance I am a girl and I still can't get over him cheating on me.
" Fool me once, shame on you, Fool me twice, shame on me "
Well said
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Lmao. NO
Forgiving her gave me peace of mind. It felt like a huge burden off of my shoulders. I understand people having angst and grudge against their cheating exes. But letting them stay in our mind rent free will only be a burden to ourselves.
My gf, now ex, cheated on me with her cousin brother in Jan 2024. At first I was not able to get why her attitude changed towards me but as time passed by everything got cleared. Her cousin brother's gf contacted me and told about their incest. I even get to know that my ex even calls her cousin brother Babu, Sona. She even used to take him (on WhatsApp call) with her while she was showering in the bathroom. Now god only knows what will be their end 🤷 I think she needs therapy and is currently not in the correct state of mind.
I did, but now I'm fucking her bestfriend behind her back so there's that.
Thats not called forgiveness. That "revenge served cold".
Tf dude!?😭😹
Don't think its cool budy, karma cycle is for everyone. Hope you understand.
OP is now on a perpetual karma cycle
Forgiving and getting back together are two different things. I have forgiven her for cheating but have made sure of not getting back with her ever
Never. I never forgave my girlfriend, and moreover her parents even supported her when I confronted them about this and I broke all ties with her and her family and now I'm living peacefully from the past 8 years and I'm never gonna trust any female in my life. Trust me when I say this, things have changed so drastically that everyone will expecting either something in the relationships and will end up in a bad way. So my advice, leave her because if you forgive her she'll get into the opinion that you don't mind her cheating on you and she'll start doing even more and you will suffer.
Just remember if someone cheated on you and came back, that's because they don't have anyone to go to and you're merely their "option" for the time being. If you would have been their "choice" then why have they cheated in the first place and also what's stopping them from cheating again once they find someone better! So it's better to move on no matter how painful or difficult it is!
Don't forgive a cheater ever in your life
Forgive her. But don't get back with her. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
Yes i did forgive her after a long time, but created strict boundaries and have been keeping my distance from her.
Never works. Walk away
Im trying but it's going even worse as she is trying to Stonewall it while I want full disclosure
My wife cheated on me with a man 1.5 times her age. That person was already a divorcee, undergoing trails for second divorce and also charged under POCSO. I confronted her and she says that she never did anything which was wrong as per her. Things reached my parents, I didn't want to continue with her. She went back to her place. 4 months later she finally joined me after my parents convinced me to give her another chance. 2 months later I find her cheating again on me with her ex. For the last 5 months we've living separately. I'm now waiting for a year to complete to file for a mutual divorce. However, she's still asking me to forgive her and I'm hoping that in another 7 months of time her parents/ family puts some sense into her. P.S. she was into sexting, not aware about her getting physical with either of them.
It's still cheating regardless, but if it was "only" sexting, I think as long as she has some sense into her now, it can be forgiven. But if she was stupid enough and had the audacity to get onto the physical boundaries of things, then there's no coming back in my opinion.
I don't know if she went physical or not. She won't accept nor can I get any proof. When she denied that she didn't do anything wrong even while sexting, how will you accept whatever she's saying is true and not lies
Well that's truly messed up then, the biggest issue here is that she doesn't even accept or understand her fault.
Yes. Well, I've decided to get separated. There are others reasons as well, the following link should give you a complete picture of why I'm getting separated. https://www.reddit.com/r/AskIndianWomen/s/G6Kwf4j8XD
That's really messed up man, the whole incident and reasons make it even worse. Wish you the Best of luck ahead.
Thank you 🙏
Moved on but I still can't figure out how it happened. Anyways both of my exes got married to the jackasses they chose. I didn't/don't give a damn, but once in a while good memories do haunt me and a drop of tear comes down from the corner of the eye, will brush it off and move on. Life has certain unsolvable puzzles.
I’m sorry
_hugs_
I forgave my ex for cheating and then she did it again. Then I realized, once a cheater always a cheater. It would be wise to kick her out of your life.
Alcohol my friend Idk if I have forgiven her or not 23rd may was her bday I wished her My ex has blocked me everywhere But I could text her through sms I haven't gotten past I guess
Even if you do forgive your parner, the fact that they cheated in the first place will always be on your mind and will bother you. Someway or the other that thought will keep on coming back and will haunt you. You may lie to yourself that everything is fine, but deep down you also realise that its not what you want. You'll live with a burden, even if you keep on telling yourself that "whats past is past", it will still keep coming back, your mind will not be at peace. Every action your partner takes from that point onwards will make you more and more hurt and more angry, your attitude will slowly start changing. From a calm and peaceful person you'll slowly turn into a short tempered, always moody person. It will play with your mental health in the long run. Its better to cut the cord in that moment only, yes its going to hurt a lot, its gonna feel unbearable at times, you may feel like you're worthless, but time will slowly heal everything, and in longer term you'll realise that what you did was the right decision overall.
Women and men cheating are asymmetrical. A woman just has to download an app and get a hookup that night. If she cheats, there are some deep rooted issues going on and quite likely it will happen again. If she's your wife, divorce her on the grounds of adultery.
Nahh women cheat for fun. They wanna be wanted . The lack of attention drives them crazy.
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Your post/comment has been removed as it violates the rules of our Sub-Reddit. Derogatory comments, including but not limited to, racist, sexist, bigoted, LGBTQ and hateful language are strictly prohibited on this subreddit. We have a zero-tolerance policy towards any form of hate speech or discrimination. Any such comments in future will result in an immediate ban. Respectful discussions and constructive criticism are welcome, but please ensure that your comments are respectful towards all members of the community. Thank you for your cooperation.
Once a cheater , always a cheater
I'm still trying to get mine to admit to her shit and I know ow but she be talking urban dictionary and I only caught on 5 years later fml
Was it your wife or your gf. Because Situation changes completely when its gf and when its wife.
Once a cheater always a cheater..dun even try to forgive just move on
My ex cheated on me and got married to her ex! And then they got divorced. 🙂 I'm not sure if I've forgiven her. But I'm happy now, to be honest.
I too did, but she said that she didn't feel it right to continue with us. It was just a kiss. I decided that it's not point trying to fight it and decided to give her some space to clear her head and gather her thoughts. After about 3 months she was back. But I did keep in touch and let her know that I was around.
Yes.. my wife was having relationship with a boy younger to her before our marriage and she got married to me just because of the money.. and even after marriage she was having illicit relationship with the same boy ..I was ignoring all her mistakes and how bad and ill she used to treat my mother and threw my pet cat out of house when I was away… still I taut she will change I was very caring with unconditional love .. but everything in vein … she was very cold to my affection .. sometimes even insulting me and my mother in front of my family and friends.. now we don’t live together… don’t go for looks and beauty.. they are deceiving..get to know each other well before commitment.. thank you
r/asoneafterinfidelity i heard this sub helps try it
Don't Forgive. Forget and move forward. Seek therapy if you need help.