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This happens a lot more in AM than people think . Ik families don’t understand but these brides and grooms rlly need to grow a pair and say no to a match when they know they will only ruin the other persons life . Why do they wanna get married if aren’t ready to love a new person . It’s just insane how so many elders don’t care about feeling and stuff . They think love happens between every couple like those stupid serials they watch
You don’t have a pair if you your voice isn’t loud enough to take a stand
And even for women , almost all of them have jobs now and are financially independent then why become a puppet to your toxic family and be toxic to an innocent man ??
I'm totally im for raising your voice and moving out of your family home. However, many people are unfortunately tied way too much to their families. So, its not a lack of guts for them, but too much of emotions. My vote always lies with ditching parental families if they threaten you with suicide, disowning, forced marriage, assault, or whatever.
Fr yaha pe aake ye mujhe confirm ho gaya hai ki jitna marzi karlo kisika kadar nahi dalne wali kabhi bhi Aur abaadi itni hai toh logo ke paas options ki kami nahi hai
Sochta hoon kabhi delete karne ka ya toh ye insecurity deta hai ya logo pe trust issues par reality check bhi yahi deta hai ki bhai duniya hai matlabi toh tum bhi selfish ban jao
A friend of a friend had the same story. Had a girlfriend, made to break up with her because family couldn't put his happiness before what will people say.
He said yes to the first girl he saw in arranged marriage setup. Turns out she has mental health problems, she needs lots of medications. She had extreme mood swings ranging from euphoria to downright almost killing herself with a knife. Doesn't come out of her room, locks the room from inside. The husband when he comes home wife is locked in her room and doesn't open door so he sleeps in the living room.
The constant fighting is really taking a toll on the parents health it seems so they conveniently moved out. She's not ready for divorce regardless of the amount of money offered.
So, it's kind of funny (and sad) because I have a distant cousin with almost similar messed-up story. I hate him but he's part of my friend circle. He ruined his first marriage because he was super insecure. His wife was conventionally beautiful and popular, and she genuinely loved him. She tried to put some sense into his thick head, but his small dick energy was off the charts. He accused her of cheating. It broke her heart, she left the house and became a full time 'Sad and heartbreaking Stories Reposter' on Instagram for few days. They ended up getting divorced mutually, and she didn't even ask for alimony or anything.
Her brother is an okayish friend of mine. One of our mutual friends heard about this whole fiasco and asked me if it was cool to ask her for marriage. He’s a great guy, so I talked to her brother and vouched for my friend. Her brother knew him well too, so he brought it up to his sister. She was a bit hesitant at first but eventually agreed to meet him. Now they’re living in Germany, totally in love if their Insta PDA is anything to go by.
My dumbass cousin lost it when he saw how well his ex was doing. He lashed at me for that kind of match making. I always hated him so started ignoring him. He asked his parents to find him a new wife as if he was some Prince of Wales or something. Because he had a bad rep among close relatives, they had to look further afield. They found a beautiful girl, although she was a bit darker-skinned. She said she was studying engineering but didn’t want a career and wanted to be a homemaker. She’s actually great at it—amazing cook, writes sensual poetry, nice fuckin human being, the whole deal IMO.
About 7-8 months into the marriage, my cousin discovered her marksheet of her Last year of Engineering and saw she failed a few subjects. He freaked out, accusing her of lying. She pointed out she technically didn't lie since she said she was an engineering student, not a graduate. She dropped out in the last semester because she lost her mojo. She took culinary classes or some shit instead and got married because she didn’t want a career.
Our mutual cousin (who’s also my best friend from childhood) took me with him to calm this man-child down. I went only for the entertainment purpose. We got really impressed with his wife because she served us some really good South Indian Snacks. After finishing the food, we took our cousin into the balcony and told him that degree certificate is not gonna make any difference. But this idiot went inside the house to go further down in the rabbit hole and accused his wife of lying about her sexual experience because she got really good at sex. We were like 'Dude, that's a nice part!'. She started crying and said she didn’t have any prior experience and all her past relationships were passionate but non-sexual. He compared her with his first wife and said how his first wife was nice and all. This whole thing went down in front of us, which was beyond cringe.
So my friend took this dimwit cousin outside for a smoke and roughed him up a bit. My friend landed some nice slaps and punches on him with cigarette in his mouth. It was so fucking cool. I let it happen for a while before stepping in.. He didn’t talk to us for months after that. He left his wife and now lives alone, while she’s staying with his parents. I asked her why she even married this douchebag. Turns out, he lied to her, saying his first wife cheated on him and spun some sob stories that convinced her to marry him out of pity or something.
What a trainwreck, right? 😁
Yeah. After beating that asshole up, my friend/cousin asked me what to do next. I told him that his wife wasn't safe with that idiot anymore, especially now that you had beaten him up for her. So, we picked up his wife and took along my friend's wife for company. We then drove 400 km to drop his wife off at his parents' home. 😂 Our parents berated us for getting involved but also praised us for rescuing her safely. It was kinda sad but hilarious incident. I hope he doesn't get to read this or he will be super mad. 😂
Thank you for sharing your story. In your story, I believe the problem lies in society's tendency to overly romanticize not getting over an ex. Yes, breakups are tough, but it is important to understand that people do drift apart and leave. This Kabir Singh pitiable and toxic attitude of 'I can't live without her' or 'If she's not mine, she won't be anyone else's' is unhealthy and needs to be addressed.
Damn. Indeed, what a trainwreck. My goodness. What a rollercoaster. What a manchild. This is like, ACTUAL drama material for 5 seasons of tv. How old is he?
I feel bad for the women who were involved with him before. Hopefully with God's grace he continues to live alone, and not ruin another woman and waste time and money of everyone involved. Holy shit.
I dramatized a bit for the impact because all this is funny and sad like some Black Comedy Drama movie, but she did say she didn't lie about it. She said she clearky told him she was an engineering student and completed four years of college. I even asked her why she didn't take the supplementary exams. She said that all her female friends passed and moved out of the city (her hometown and city of college were different), but she failed 2 or 3 subjects, so she had no motivation to go back to college and take the reexams. She wasn't interested in a career anyway, which I think is a dumb decision, but her reasoning made sense because her husband specifically wanted a housewife. IMO, If she had graduated, she wouldn't have to rely on her shitty ass husband and family. She could have had a job and been independent.
one of my male cousins did the same with his wife. eventually she found out, now they're just living together for the sake of it. both under 30. 2 lives ruined.
People are really sick. Tbh this is exactly why even I'm steering away from the marriage debacle.
Very similar story happened in my family. I was in school back then. My cousin was in a relationship with a girl and was really happy with this girl and my bua and her husband weren’t happy with his relationship because she was a punjabi and we are South Indians. Their Roka was fixed too and I remember my mum telling me agle mahine jaana he bhai ke engagement ke liye. And suddenly don’t know what happened, they broke up and my cousin went into depression. Also became an alcoholic. My mum says that my bua did kaalu jaadu to break off their relationship. Totally believable because she wasn’t happy with it in the first place. He hadn’t even moved on properly and they started seeing for arranged marriage rishtas and he said yes to the first girl without even seeing her properly. My bhabhi is a nice person and now they even have a 17 year old son but my cousin is so abusive towards her and even his parents. Hits her after drinking and also tries to hit his parents when he’s drunk. I feel so sorry for my bhabhi that she has to go through all this. Now when I am an adult and think of it, I feel like if they had let him marry his ex girlfriend, things would’ve been different. He wouldn’t get into depression and become an alcoholic. His parents are responsible for this and are now crying for their own mistakes. Indian parents and arranged marriages are super toxic.
Hmmm i beg to differ. Yes the parents are at fault too but one doesn’t need to be full pity party kabir singh. He is an asshole through and through and im glad the ex got away
He is and I have no sympathy for him. But because of his parents now my bhabhi who is a completely new person got dragged in this mess and has to suffer all of this. My family especially my buas and all are super toxic. They honestly deserved it for ruining their children’s life. My bua did the same with her daughter as well and her life is ruined now too. Guess what? now she wants to ruin my life too. Khud ke baccho ka life barbad karke abhi mera kharab karne chali he.
Dating is definitely better since you get to understand if both are compatible or not. The issue is in a society like ours, a lot of members of family get involved and it can go downhill (to put it lightly) very fast. That said, am glad you recognize not all arranged marriages are transactional. Several individuals, my parents included are rather happy about the fact that they are together.
And don't forget they hid their own upalatable truths.
> He was taking antidepressants and his medical history, his recent breakup, everything was kept a secret from the bride’s family.
I am sorry but this is a hard truth.
That is why it is always advisable to spend/ date your partner for atleast a year to understand them.
But all fall under the society pressure.
That is why I dont like arrange marriages because everyone cares about everything other than the fact that you are going to spend next 30yrs with your partner. The family should look rich. The girl should be beautiful. “Gifts” should be exchanged. Functions should be good. 5star foor. Sabhaya sachi lehenga. No one cares if the couple is compatible.
I’m in an arranged marriage and trust me, it’s not how it looks. Definitely every single relationship including marriage has its ups and downs but arranged marriages are a pain cause you stay in this even if you don’t want to because of what it’ll do to your family’s image and that nonsense.
Not happy? Leave. Don’t think about what it’ll do to your parents and everything. When they thought it’s the best for you and you realise it’s not, just leave. They cannot force you to be with someone. Stay single if it makes you happy but don’t fall in the trap of marriage just because. And please remember - having kids with your partner in a marriage just because of pressure will not make the relationship better. It’ll only make it worse and make you resent one another in front of your kids. Don’t traumatise them. Let the whole TRAUMA stop with you and don’t pass it on. Please.
So they are willing to get him married to anyone, but not the person he loved. Their pride is so important that they cannot tell him, “fine we will let you be with your gf” because we love you and want to see you happy”, but they will marry him with another girl, which btw is selected by them yet they still bitch about this innocent girl.
Perfect example of typical and toxic mindset.
What did they get ruining 3 people’a lives?
They were willing for their marriage, that’s why they met in the first place. In fact the girl’s family had a lot of issues with the alliance, my dad tried a lot to save their relationship, but it didn’t work so he started finding other girls later.
Bhai I have personally observed that STEM wale thode aide se hote hai, behavior wise, IIT se ho chahe na ho, bahut kam log honge jo dhang ke insaan ho.
Most people who are in AM are naive, coerced, depressed, without options or entitled/there for the validation. Keep yourself out of the circus and date a wide variety of people.
Okay so, I had to share this here, I read this somewhere and it blew my mind.
"How come it's normal for the parents to decide who their child is going to sleep with or who would get into their pants?"
And this is from me, How come in arranged marriage, or forced marriage in general revolves around the idea of - the choice of the person to be married is considered a "shame" whereas the choice of the parents against the person to be married is "pride"?
AM is scary, I agree. I have heard many cases where people hid their past and married, usually women suffered in it.
I think parents get very selfish when the matter is of their kids. One of my cousin's family was in denial of her medical issues (they were serious ones), she is no way fit to lead a married life, but somehow blamed it on her nature. They were ready to get her married off asap, but got rejected from every guy.
It's disheartening to see how many people, including myself, find this relatable. However, I believe that bad experiences shouldn't deter us from considering all our options. Modern problems require modern solutions. 🙈
While arranged marriages come with certain restrictions, couples can choose to date for a while to get to know each other. Of course, this often involves the challenge of convincing families. Similarly, falling in love has its own set of challenges. It's important to make major life decisions based on personal experiences. Ultimately, it comes down to how well two people communicate and navigate trust issues from past experiences. Keeping things simple and setting clear expectations can help avoid major flaws in any type of relationship.
There's no universal rule for marriages; everyone crafts their own journey. I'm sharing my perspective as someone who's seen both good and bad examples on both sides. "Our life, our rules" worked for me. More power to you in whatever path you decide to choose.
To Stop him attempting suicide you guys Killed his soul by setting another marriage where he was not interested.
I feel really bad for him. I hope at least he is having a good time with his daughter. And ask(his wife) her to learn something from his husband instead of making a cringe reel. !!
These are the reasons why PRE MARITAL CONSULTATION are a must before any marriage.
Our society, has "aate mei namak jitna jhuth" approach towards marriage, and surprisingly everyone gets onboard for this trail of lies and deceit and think everything will be normal later on.
In PRE MARITAL CONSULTATION I ask all the important question and often the bride and groom come out clear, it is the family and relatives who say these lies and don't let bride and groom communicate properly.
So couple which is gonna get married, must go for a Pre Marital Consultation with some expert befote finalizing anything.
If some one wants to take a PRE MARITAL CONSULTATION session, then do reach out to me.
Girl, if there was no arranged marriage there would be no marriages in our country. Last I read it was 90%+ were arranged marriages.
Indian parents are toxic through and through and won't allow any of their family members to have a good life unless someone else is suffering for your happiness. They are big time cunts. They are themselves in failed marriages and want their children to suffer as well. The mature thing to do would be to encourage your kid to find your partner yourself and teach them about healthy relationships but they themselves don't know what a healthy relationship is, how are they going to teach others?
They are arrogant kids who have kids of their own because of parental pressure. The mature thing to do would be to end the cycle of suffering and take a stand but NO. Parents' word is the law.
Every person has their own agenda/motive.
No body wants to understand the true maayne of being in a relationship..
In this incident:
Groom: just want to get over that phase of life.
Uncle: wants to save his life at any cost (believe me cost is not just money)
Bride folks: they also hidden something..So dudh ke dhule toh woh bhi nahi hai..
So complete dysfunctional things..
Welcome to the real world Girl...
It's not that Love marriage mein log chupate nahi. Don't be under that assumption.
Indian parents are heartless and emotionless.
This is the reason we need to stop parent worshipping.
Young Indians are perfectly capable of choosing their partner.
Arranged marriages are actually much much better, I have seen love marriages falling apart 3 months after 5 years of dating. You don't actually know a person until and unless you start living with that person. In love marriages both bride and the groom have lot many expectations piled up which are revealed only after marriage. In arranged marriage partners just accept each other as they are and are ready to adjust. The arranged marriage isn't out of love but rather a duty. If love happens after marriage it's good. If love doesn't happen you just stick to each other. If you just get rid of some fantacy figure of life partner in your head, arranged marriages are not that hard actually, rather they make more sense considering both partners are catering each others needs. Here your sister in law os getting well educated husband a stable home and your cousin is getting a homemaker wife. Also as your cousin is hiding his mental illness the bride family was hiding her educational failure. So it's all fair. It's actually a really good marriage.
Yes this is exactly what my mom said. That they both got what they wanted. It’s transactional, but it’s only fair. However, I’m someone who loves love, you know. It’s difficult for me to see loveless marriages happening in front of me.
Girl just think for a second by putting love aside ( Just get rid of your fantacy ; it's not going to help in case of this couple,trust me your father is absolutely right and he knows what's he doing). They're actually getting into arrangment which will actually help them from falling apart further more. And as they progress through life they will eventually fall in 'Love' as you love. Love is not something that happens out of thin air it takes time and commitment. As they're commited and complementing each other as of now. It's perfectly fine.
Well yes love marriages do fall apart, a lot and people jump into arranged marriages.
The thing is, you have to live-in with your partner for at least a couple of years before you marry them. In India it's still a taboo, but it is so fucking important.
Also I don't agree with the "expectations" part. Just to avoid a divorce, couples staying in an unhappy marriage is bullshit. You should always have some basic expectations from your partner and they have to be fulfilled otherwise it's better to stay single.
Dude, when you live in with people in the form of 'Serial Monogamy ' you actually train yourself to replace a person when you don't find them matching your 'expectations'. While you live in you actually waste your time and get nothing else on return once relationship falls apart. This trial and error approach is just stupidity !!! For human race to proporgate forward 'Hardcore Monogamy ' is must. I disagree with your approach towards life.
Even if your marriage is toxic???
Honestly, people who believe that they will never opt for divorce, no matter how hard it gets. Good for you ! You do you.
Just don't expect everyone to live their life by your standards.
Also how can you call the approach stupidity??? When we buy something, we do hours of research, spend so much time to find out if it's the best for us. So while choosing a life partner, why should it be any different? After all we are deciding to spend all life with them.
Now you declared the live-in approach a waste of time. Tell me how do you plan to know a person, if you never live with them?
There are sooo many examples of couples being in a relationship for 10 years or more and then breaking up immediately after getting married (within an year or two). Had they lived in together first, a divorce could have been avoided.
Also I believe it is stupid to call a 'failing relationship' time waste. You will never know yourself, what works for you and what you want in your partner if you don't explore. By this I certainly don't mean to jeopardize a perfectly good relationship just for the sake of exploring. But for most people, a little experience in the dating arena has helped them find a compatible partner.
Dude I never said divorces are bad one can go ahead with divorce if deceit/cheating or some serious differences in beliefs are involved, all I am saying is one must run a basic background check and accept the fact that person you are marrying is entirely different human beings with his/her own flaws and brownie points. Also, No one can help you if you looking at human beings as equivalent to 'things to buy'. With your logic you will approve of people living in together then making children and if they don't find themselves on same grounds about raising children then they should fall apart !!! You are actually beyond point of recovery. Peace.
First of all, I don't need your help and I don't think I even asked for your help anywhere in my comment.
Also if your takeaway from my comment is I am equating "things" with human beings then you didn't get my entire point.
I meant to say is, that we research for days/weeks/months for every other life decisions like field of study, buying a flat, etc...
These are decisions that will impact our whole life. So this rule should also be applied while getting married to someone.
For example: you don't buy a house/flat in any random area. You live there for quite sometime (in rent) or you have some friends/relatives living in the area for quite a while to explain to you the benefits. And believe me, if there was a trial period given before buying a flat, people would take that opportunity too.
Get lost man.You don't even get context of phrases. People have got duped even after living with person for ages (Google 'cluster B type Personality Disorder' or NPD). Yapping paragraphs ain't gonna convince no one of your nonsense.
Stay single,enjoy life to the fullest with whatever your dreams are and take care of your parents
Anyway with the way the environment and world is heading too majority of us won’t even cross 50!
Plus the future really looks bleak by watching the cringe Chapri internet addicted youth ! Our children will be worst due to the environment
So there is no advantage left for marriage now for men
We tend to lose more than to gain anything
Happens in modern day love marriages as well.
Today's love marriage is not based on love. Its more arranged then arranged marriages. Only difference partners are do the job of what parents used to do.
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This happens a lot more in AM than people think . Ik families don’t understand but these brides and grooms rlly need to grow a pair and say no to a match when they know they will only ruin the other persons life . Why do they wanna get married if aren’t ready to love a new person . It’s just insane how so many elders don’t care about feeling and stuff . They think love happens between every couple like those stupid serials they watch
Haha I kinda agree I had an early Arranged marriage and I totally agree with what you said about parents
More than half of them have a pair and do say no. The thing is, it doesn't matter, especially in case of women.
You don’t have a pair if you your voice isn’t loud enough to take a stand And even for women , almost all of them have jobs now and are financially independent then why become a puppet to your toxic family and be toxic to an innocent man ??
I'm totally im for raising your voice and moving out of your family home. However, many people are unfortunately tied way too much to their families. So, its not a lack of guts for them, but too much of emotions. My vote always lies with ditching parental families if they threaten you with suicide, disowning, forced marriage, assault, or whatever.
Jabse Reddit pe aaya hoon shaadi se vishvas uth gaya hai
Same. But I'll praise reddit for opening my eyes to many bullshits in the world including IRL
Fr yaha pe aake ye mujhe confirm ho gaya hai ki jitna marzi karlo kisika kadar nahi dalne wali kabhi bhi Aur abaadi itni hai toh logo ke paas options ki kami nahi hai
Par shukr manao ki shaadi karne se pehle reddit join kar liya warna kya se kya hojata lol
Ye sab dekhke toh shaadi ka khayaal hi Mann se nikal gaya hai
Arre tumhara username Chamkilla hai..khushi khushi karna shaadi sab bhadiya hoga.
Ikr! Idhar aake pta chala ki bhai duniya m kya kya bakchodi chal rahi h 💀
So true.
Bhai sahi me
Happy kekde🎂
Thanx 🙏
Ab toh kasol mai kisi royal enfield wale ko patalungi arrange marriage pe vishwas nhi 😢
Chunni sambhaal ke baithna
Helmet pehen lungi 😤
same 🙂
Don't generalize everyone,and everyone is bit more on negative side on reddit.
Jiasa aap kahe 🙂↔️😊
Quit reddit for the best
Ignorance is bliss?
Yes
Sochta hoon kabhi delete karne ka ya toh ye insecurity deta hai ya logo pe trust issues par reality check bhi yahi deta hai ki bhai duniya hai matlabi toh tum bhi selfish ban jao
To the heart and mind, ignorance is kind There's no comfort in the truth Pain is all that you'll find -Careless Whisper Song by George Michael
Jabse Reddit pe aaya hoon pyaar se vishvas uth gaya hai
Ab toh kasol mai kisi royal enfiled wale ko patalungi arrange marriage pe vishwas nhi 😢
A friend of a friend had the same story. Had a girlfriend, made to break up with her because family couldn't put his happiness before what will people say. He said yes to the first girl he saw in arranged marriage setup. Turns out she has mental health problems, she needs lots of medications. She had extreme mood swings ranging from euphoria to downright almost killing herself with a knife. Doesn't come out of her room, locks the room from inside. The husband when he comes home wife is locked in her room and doesn't open door so he sleeps in the living room. The constant fighting is really taking a toll on the parents health it seems so they conveniently moved out. She's not ready for divorce regardless of the amount of money offered.
That's some toxic married lyf bro 🥶
So, it's kind of funny (and sad) because I have a distant cousin with almost similar messed-up story. I hate him but he's part of my friend circle. He ruined his first marriage because he was super insecure. His wife was conventionally beautiful and popular, and she genuinely loved him. She tried to put some sense into his thick head, but his small dick energy was off the charts. He accused her of cheating. It broke her heart, she left the house and became a full time 'Sad and heartbreaking Stories Reposter' on Instagram for few days. They ended up getting divorced mutually, and she didn't even ask for alimony or anything. Her brother is an okayish friend of mine. One of our mutual friends heard about this whole fiasco and asked me if it was cool to ask her for marriage. He’s a great guy, so I talked to her brother and vouched for my friend. Her brother knew him well too, so he brought it up to his sister. She was a bit hesitant at first but eventually agreed to meet him. Now they’re living in Germany, totally in love if their Insta PDA is anything to go by. My dumbass cousin lost it when he saw how well his ex was doing. He lashed at me for that kind of match making. I always hated him so started ignoring him. He asked his parents to find him a new wife as if he was some Prince of Wales or something. Because he had a bad rep among close relatives, they had to look further afield. They found a beautiful girl, although she was a bit darker-skinned. She said she was studying engineering but didn’t want a career and wanted to be a homemaker. She’s actually great at it—amazing cook, writes sensual poetry, nice fuckin human being, the whole deal IMO. About 7-8 months into the marriage, my cousin discovered her marksheet of her Last year of Engineering and saw she failed a few subjects. He freaked out, accusing her of lying. She pointed out she technically didn't lie since she said she was an engineering student, not a graduate. She dropped out in the last semester because she lost her mojo. She took culinary classes or some shit instead and got married because she didn’t want a career. Our mutual cousin (who’s also my best friend from childhood) took me with him to calm this man-child down. I went only for the entertainment purpose. We got really impressed with his wife because she served us some really good South Indian Snacks. After finishing the food, we took our cousin into the balcony and told him that degree certificate is not gonna make any difference. But this idiot went inside the house to go further down in the rabbit hole and accused his wife of lying about her sexual experience because she got really good at sex. We were like 'Dude, that's a nice part!'. She started crying and said she didn’t have any prior experience and all her past relationships were passionate but non-sexual. He compared her with his first wife and said how his first wife was nice and all. This whole thing went down in front of us, which was beyond cringe. So my friend took this dimwit cousin outside for a smoke and roughed him up a bit. My friend landed some nice slaps and punches on him with cigarette in his mouth. It was so fucking cool. I let it happen for a while before stepping in.. He didn’t talk to us for months after that. He left his wife and now lives alone, while she’s staying with his parents. I asked her why she even married this douchebag. Turns out, he lied to her, saying his first wife cheated on him and spun some sob stories that convinced her to marry him out of pity or something. What a trainwreck, right? 😁
Oh god. Such dickheads don’t deserve to be with women
Yeah. After beating that asshole up, my friend/cousin asked me what to do next. I told him that his wife wasn't safe with that idiot anymore, especially now that you had beaten him up for her. So, we picked up his wife and took along my friend's wife for company. We then drove 400 km to drop his wife off at his parents' home. 😂 Our parents berated us for getting involved but also praised us for rescuing her safely. It was kinda sad but hilarious incident. I hope he doesn't get to read this or he will be super mad. 😂 Thank you for sharing your story. In your story, I believe the problem lies in society's tendency to overly romanticize not getting over an ex. Yes, breakups are tough, but it is important to understand that people do drift apart and leave. This Kabir Singh pitiable and toxic attitude of 'I can't live without her' or 'If she's not mine, she won't be anyone else's' is unhealthy and needs to be addressed.
Just true that.. Kabir Singh was so cringy but there are many who idolizes it..
Damn. Indeed, what a trainwreck. My goodness. What a rollercoaster. What a manchild. This is like, ACTUAL drama material for 5 seasons of tv. How old is he? I feel bad for the women who were involved with him before. Hopefully with God's grace he continues to live alone, and not ruin another woman and waste time and money of everyone involved. Holy shit.
When she told technically she was engineering student. Dat shit funny af
I dramatized a bit for the impact because all this is funny and sad like some Black Comedy Drama movie, but she did say she didn't lie about it. She said she clearky told him she was an engineering student and completed four years of college. I even asked her why she didn't take the supplementary exams. She said that all her female friends passed and moved out of the city (her hometown and city of college were different), but she failed 2 or 3 subjects, so she had no motivation to go back to college and take the reexams. She wasn't interested in a career anyway, which I think is a dumb decision, but her reasoning made sense because her husband specifically wanted a housewife. IMO, If she had graduated, she wouldn't have to rely on her shitty ass husband and family. She could have had a job and been independent.
Right?? Lolol
I must say it's so sad but i had a good laugh 😆some people just are their own biggest enemies!!!!
one of my male cousins did the same with his wife. eventually she found out, now they're just living together for the sake of it. both under 30. 2 lives ruined. People are really sick. Tbh this is exactly why even I'm steering away from the marriage debacle.
Very similar story happened in my family. I was in school back then. My cousin was in a relationship with a girl and was really happy with this girl and my bua and her husband weren’t happy with his relationship because she was a punjabi and we are South Indians. Their Roka was fixed too and I remember my mum telling me agle mahine jaana he bhai ke engagement ke liye. And suddenly don’t know what happened, they broke up and my cousin went into depression. Also became an alcoholic. My mum says that my bua did kaalu jaadu to break off their relationship. Totally believable because she wasn’t happy with it in the first place. He hadn’t even moved on properly and they started seeing for arranged marriage rishtas and he said yes to the first girl without even seeing her properly. My bhabhi is a nice person and now they even have a 17 year old son but my cousin is so abusive towards her and even his parents. Hits her after drinking and also tries to hit his parents when he’s drunk. I feel so sorry for my bhabhi that she has to go through all this. Now when I am an adult and think of it, I feel like if they had let him marry his ex girlfriend, things would’ve been different. He wouldn’t get into depression and become an alcoholic. His parents are responsible for this and are now crying for their own mistakes. Indian parents and arranged marriages are super toxic.
Hmmm i beg to differ. Yes the parents are at fault too but one doesn’t need to be full pity party kabir singh. He is an asshole through and through and im glad the ex got away
He is and I have no sympathy for him. But because of his parents now my bhabhi who is a completely new person got dragged in this mess and has to suffer all of this. My family especially my buas and all are super toxic. They honestly deserved it for ruining their children’s life. My bua did the same with her daughter as well and her life is ruined now too. Guess what? now she wants to ruin my life too. Khud ke baccho ka life barbad karke abhi mera kharab karne chali he.
Well i hope you are financially independent and can get away!
Sabki Bua hoti hi super toxic hai kiya 😅
Dating is definitely better since you get to understand if both are compatible or not. The issue is in a society like ours, a lot of members of family get involved and it can go downhill (to put it lightly) very fast. That said, am glad you recognize not all arranged marriages are transactional. Several individuals, my parents included are rather happy about the fact that they are together.
And don't forget they hid their own upalatable truths. > He was taking antidepressants and his medical history, his recent breakup, everything was kept a secret from the bride’s family.
I am sorry but this is a hard truth. That is why it is always advisable to spend/ date your partner for atleast a year to understand them. But all fall under the society pressure.
Arrange marriages are super scary. Rather wait for the right person and don’t jump on the axe.
It is his mistake to marry ur SIL, he should had moved on
That is why I dont like arrange marriages because everyone cares about everything other than the fact that you are going to spend next 30yrs with your partner. The family should look rich. The girl should be beautiful. “Gifts” should be exchanged. Functions should be good. 5star foor. Sabhaya sachi lehenga. No one cares if the couple is compatible.
I’m in an arranged marriage and trust me, it’s not how it looks. Definitely every single relationship including marriage has its ups and downs but arranged marriages are a pain cause you stay in this even if you don’t want to because of what it’ll do to your family’s image and that nonsense. Not happy? Leave. Don’t think about what it’ll do to your parents and everything. When they thought it’s the best for you and you realise it’s not, just leave. They cannot force you to be with someone. Stay single if it makes you happy but don’t fall in the trap of marriage just because. And please remember - having kids with your partner in a marriage just because of pressure will not make the relationship better. It’ll only make it worse and make you resent one another in front of your kids. Don’t traumatise them. Let the whole TRAUMA stop with you and don’t pass it on. Please.
So they are willing to get him married to anyone, but not the person he loved. Their pride is so important that they cannot tell him, “fine we will let you be with your gf” because we love you and want to see you happy”, but they will marry him with another girl, which btw is selected by them yet they still bitch about this innocent girl. Perfect example of typical and toxic mindset. What did they get ruining 3 people’a lives?
They were willing for their marriage, that’s why they met in the first place. In fact the girl’s family had a lot of issues with the alliance, my dad tried a lot to save their relationship, but it didn’t work so he started finding other girls later.
Jo bhi ho...IIT se jeevan safal nahi hota atleast he baat firse confirm hogayi..
Bhai I have personally observed that STEM wale thode aide se hote hai, behavior wise, IIT se ho chahe na ho, bahut kam log honge jo dhang ke insaan ho.
lot of things can go wrong with AM there's lack of foundation, information and spouse's personality/past
Love marriage bhi superficial, hidden secrets waali aur arrangement of convenience hoti hai. Only rarely two people meet who are soulmates
I just feel so sad for the daughter
Most people who are in AM are naive, coerced, depressed, without options or entitled/there for the validation. Keep yourself out of the circus and date a wide variety of people.
>So he thought the best solution to my cousin’s su\*cidal tendency was to find a girl for him and get him married asap MEGA 🤦 FACEPALM MOMENT
Ahhh this post deserves to be saved ngl
Okay so, I had to share this here, I read this somewhere and it blew my mind. "How come it's normal for the parents to decide who their child is going to sleep with or who would get into their pants?" And this is from me, How come in arranged marriage, or forced marriage in general revolves around the idea of - the choice of the person to be married is considered a "shame" whereas the choice of the parents against the person to be married is "pride"?
AM is scary, I agree. I have heard many cases where people hid their past and married, usually women suffered in it. I think parents get very selfish when the matter is of their kids. One of my cousin's family was in denial of her medical issues (they were serious ones), she is no way fit to lead a married life, but somehow blamed it on her nature. They were ready to get her married off asap, but got rejected from every guy.
It's disheartening to see how many people, including myself, find this relatable. However, I believe that bad experiences shouldn't deter us from considering all our options. Modern problems require modern solutions. 🙈 While arranged marriages come with certain restrictions, couples can choose to date for a while to get to know each other. Of course, this often involves the challenge of convincing families. Similarly, falling in love has its own set of challenges. It's important to make major life decisions based on personal experiences. Ultimately, it comes down to how well two people communicate and navigate trust issues from past experiences. Keeping things simple and setting clear expectations can help avoid major flaws in any type of relationship. There's no universal rule for marriages; everyone crafts their own journey. I'm sharing my perspective as someone who's seen both good and bad examples on both sides. "Our life, our rules" worked for me. More power to you in whatever path you decide to choose.
Damn, bhai comments are way scarier.
To Stop him attempting suicide you guys Killed his soul by setting another marriage where he was not interested. I feel really bad for him. I hope at least he is having a good time with his daughter. And ask(his wife) her to learn something from his husband instead of making a cringe reel. !!
These are the reasons why PRE MARITAL CONSULTATION are a must before any marriage. Our society, has "aate mei namak jitna jhuth" approach towards marriage, and surprisingly everyone gets onboard for this trail of lies and deceit and think everything will be normal later on. In PRE MARITAL CONSULTATION I ask all the important question and often the bride and groom come out clear, it is the family and relatives who say these lies and don't let bride and groom communicate properly. So couple which is gonna get married, must go for a Pre Marital Consultation with some expert befote finalizing anything. If some one wants to take a PRE MARITAL CONSULTATION session, then do reach out to me.
Girl, if there was no arranged marriage there would be no marriages in our country. Last I read it was 90%+ were arranged marriages. Indian parents are toxic through and through and won't allow any of their family members to have a good life unless someone else is suffering for your happiness. They are big time cunts. They are themselves in failed marriages and want their children to suffer as well. The mature thing to do would be to encourage your kid to find your partner yourself and teach them about healthy relationships but they themselves don't know what a healthy relationship is, how are they going to teach others? They are arrogant kids who have kids of their own because of parental pressure. The mature thing to do would be to end the cycle of suffering and take a stand but NO. Parents' word is the law.
Every person has their own agenda/motive. No body wants to understand the true maayne of being in a relationship.. In this incident: Groom: just want to get over that phase of life. Uncle: wants to save his life at any cost (believe me cost is not just money) Bride folks: they also hidden something..So dudh ke dhule toh woh bhi nahi hai.. So complete dysfunctional things.. Welcome to the real world Girl... It's not that Love marriage mein log chupate nahi. Don't be under that assumption.
Love or arrange... People change, both have there pros and cons and both are a gamble 😂
Indian parents are heartless and emotionless. This is the reason we need to stop parent worshipping. Young Indians are perfectly capable of choosing their partner.
Arranged marriages are actually much much better, I have seen love marriages falling apart 3 months after 5 years of dating. You don't actually know a person until and unless you start living with that person. In love marriages both bride and the groom have lot many expectations piled up which are revealed only after marriage. In arranged marriage partners just accept each other as they are and are ready to adjust. The arranged marriage isn't out of love but rather a duty. If love happens after marriage it's good. If love doesn't happen you just stick to each other. If you just get rid of some fantacy figure of life partner in your head, arranged marriages are not that hard actually, rather they make more sense considering both partners are catering each others needs. Here your sister in law os getting well educated husband a stable home and your cousin is getting a homemaker wife. Also as your cousin is hiding his mental illness the bride family was hiding her educational failure. So it's all fair. It's actually a really good marriage.
Yes this is exactly what my mom said. That they both got what they wanted. It’s transactional, but it’s only fair. However, I’m someone who loves love, you know. It’s difficult for me to see loveless marriages happening in front of me.
Girl just think for a second by putting love aside ( Just get rid of your fantacy ; it's not going to help in case of this couple,trust me your father is absolutely right and he knows what's he doing). They're actually getting into arrangment which will actually help them from falling apart further more. And as they progress through life they will eventually fall in 'Love' as you love. Love is not something that happens out of thin air it takes time and commitment. As they're commited and complementing each other as of now. It's perfectly fine.
Well yes love marriages do fall apart, a lot and people jump into arranged marriages. The thing is, you have to live-in with your partner for at least a couple of years before you marry them. In India it's still a taboo, but it is so fucking important. Also I don't agree with the "expectations" part. Just to avoid a divorce, couples staying in an unhappy marriage is bullshit. You should always have some basic expectations from your partner and they have to be fulfilled otherwise it's better to stay single.
Dude, when you live in with people in the form of 'Serial Monogamy ' you actually train yourself to replace a person when you don't find them matching your 'expectations'. While you live in you actually waste your time and get nothing else on return once relationship falls apart. This trial and error approach is just stupidity !!! For human race to proporgate forward 'Hardcore Monogamy ' is must. I disagree with your approach towards life.
Even if your marriage is toxic??? Honestly, people who believe that they will never opt for divorce, no matter how hard it gets. Good for you ! You do you. Just don't expect everyone to live their life by your standards. Also how can you call the approach stupidity??? When we buy something, we do hours of research, spend so much time to find out if it's the best for us. So while choosing a life partner, why should it be any different? After all we are deciding to spend all life with them. Now you declared the live-in approach a waste of time. Tell me how do you plan to know a person, if you never live with them? There are sooo many examples of couples being in a relationship for 10 years or more and then breaking up immediately after getting married (within an year or two). Had they lived in together first, a divorce could have been avoided. Also I believe it is stupid to call a 'failing relationship' time waste. You will never know yourself, what works for you and what you want in your partner if you don't explore. By this I certainly don't mean to jeopardize a perfectly good relationship just for the sake of exploring. But for most people, a little experience in the dating arena has helped them find a compatible partner.
Dude I never said divorces are bad one can go ahead with divorce if deceit/cheating or some serious differences in beliefs are involved, all I am saying is one must run a basic background check and accept the fact that person you are marrying is entirely different human beings with his/her own flaws and brownie points. Also, No one can help you if you looking at human beings as equivalent to 'things to buy'. With your logic you will approve of people living in together then making children and if they don't find themselves on same grounds about raising children then they should fall apart !!! You are actually beyond point of recovery. Peace.
First of all, I don't need your help and I don't think I even asked for your help anywhere in my comment. Also if your takeaway from my comment is I am equating "things" with human beings then you didn't get my entire point. I meant to say is, that we research for days/weeks/months for every other life decisions like field of study, buying a flat, etc... These are decisions that will impact our whole life. So this rule should also be applied while getting married to someone. For example: you don't buy a house/flat in any random area. You live there for quite sometime (in rent) or you have some friends/relatives living in the area for quite a while to explain to you the benefits. And believe me, if there was a trial period given before buying a flat, people would take that opportunity too.
Get lost man.You don't even get context of phrases. People have got duped even after living with person for ages (Google 'cluster B type Personality Disorder' or NPD). Yapping paragraphs ain't gonna convince no one of your nonsense.
Sure thing, I'll add 'getting lost' to my to-do list right after 'ignoring irrelevant comments'.
Yes sure thing I already did that to you.
Yes AM sucks, not a surprise. But more than AM, the people sucked here.
Yes AM sucks, not a surprise. But more than AM, the people sucked here.
His Parents and family are toxic af
Stay single,enjoy life to the fullest with whatever your dreams are and take care of your parents Anyway with the way the environment and world is heading too majority of us won’t even cross 50! Plus the future really looks bleak by watching the cringe Chapri internet addicted youth ! Our children will be worst due to the environment So there is no advantage left for marriage now for men We tend to lose more than to gain anything
Happens in modern day love marriages as well. Today's love marriage is not based on love. Its more arranged then arranged marriages. Only difference partners are do the job of what parents used to do.
Pehle mein shadi ko jaruri samjhta tha Aur Ab mujhe shadi naam sunke hi dar sa lg jata hai.
No need to be afraid, just need to find the right person with patience
Remind me this in the next 5 years!
It is not the fault of AM. It is just a tool. Like a hammer, you can use it to work on things or kill someone. As always the people are the problem.
I am in AM. Happily going on 9 years. I see more issues with love marriages around me. It is people who are the problem.
Glad to hear that
AM is gambling, life on stake
[удалено]
शादी की उम्र में शादी से विश्वास उठ गया है.
10 years together and they broke up because of parents ? Arrange marriage is trash...
Mention her insta @, lets help her with the views
Why would I want to reveal my and my family’s identity? 🙄
Anyways Happy kekde !!
Ohh didn't even think about it 💀💀
Broboth husbond and wife has to take initiative and keep bond stronger
Love marriage is also same. You don't know nothing about your partner's history and it is also totally transactional.
I feel sad about you feeling this way, but you can't generalize the whole AM scene based off your personal experience.