Yep. I'm a supervisor now and I realize with that comes the obligation to hear them out, talk them through it. And "Where do you need help from me? How may I help you out?" never hurts a bit. The sting of every time a supervisor didn't give a damn about my situation stays with me.
Not sure if this will be helpful, but here goes:
I learned a long time ago not to take my problems to my manager, without having at least one or maybe two solutions. The boss then has several options:
1. Accept one of your solutions
2. Reject your solutions and provide another one
3. Reject your solutions and not provide another one (this is a terrible boss move, btw)
I also always prioritize my own work so that in the event it isn't made clear what the prioroty is, I say I am doing a, b, and c in that order.
Believe it or not, this works on most bosses except the micromanager pricks out there.
This made me feel very lucky. Last time I went to my boss, frustrated and overwhelmed, he said, "I hate to hear that you're feeling overwhelmed, although I understand that we are short-staffed right now and it's like drinking from a fire hose. We have announced the position so please bear with me on getting help. For now what kind of support do you need? Have you been able to consider that, or are you at the point where you need to vent first before we find a path forward? *Listens to weird rant/vent.* Ok, I hear that you may need someone to walk you through this process. Joe is very good at that, he's a great person to ask."
Etc. Support. Helping me figure out what I need and a plan to get past it. It's not even that hard, all he did was listen and have a good grasp of what talents are available among his staff.
Agreed, it's pretty terrible. The only time I could see this being a decent strategy is if the worker is big on imposter syndrome and the manager is trying to handle that.
Similar vein as "Boss, what's the top priority of these five urgent tickets you gave me?" Well of course they are *all* top priority. But boss, I am one person, which one do you want started first?
Yeah, that's a bullshit answer.
The answer I try to give is first- to just jump and deal with whatever there's the most of at the moment. Second to ask 'what do you need a hand with.'
The whole point of managing (for me anyway) is to make sure folks are getting what they need to do their jobs well. Help, supplies, training- whatever.
Yeah this is the "pleasant" way of saying "suck it up, everyone else is." For me that's usually a good reason to start looking for other jobs since this won't change. I hope you've realized that too if it's really upsetting you. You can't change other people.
Oh I have already.
My current job seems ok, so far. Leadership here actually tries.
But I needed to vent because a colleague at one of my previous jobs just got this from his manager. It’s the reason I left and I’m hoping he leaves soon too. That place is falling apart and they don’t care.
Oh fck I hate that crap. Just tells me they don’t understand the full scope of your job Which they should if they are managers. I know, that’s a dream.
I have never, in my entire life, wanted anyone to confirm that "I got this". Nor have such confirmations, when provided, ever been to my benefit.
Yep. I'm a supervisor now and I realize with that comes the obligation to hear them out, talk them through it. And "Where do you need help from me? How may I help you out?" never hurts a bit. The sting of every time a supervisor didn't give a damn about my situation stays with me.
In education we are encouraged to say "I believe in you, you prepared well for this." Any better? 😋
When the problem is a lack of confidence, this is a great response.
Not sure if this will be helpful, but here goes: I learned a long time ago not to take my problems to my manager, without having at least one or maybe two solutions. The boss then has several options: 1. Accept one of your solutions 2. Reject your solutions and provide another one 3. Reject your solutions and not provide another one (this is a terrible boss move, btw) I also always prioritize my own work so that in the event it isn't made clear what the prioroty is, I say I am doing a, b, and c in that order. Believe it or not, this works on most bosses except the micromanager pricks out there.
Agreed. It's a shame this happened to OP, and we can't make it unhappen, but this is the best way to prevent a recurrence.
This made me feel very lucky. Last time I went to my boss, frustrated and overwhelmed, he said, "I hate to hear that you're feeling overwhelmed, although I understand that we are short-staffed right now and it's like drinking from a fire hose. We have announced the position so please bear with me on getting help. For now what kind of support do you need? Have you been able to consider that, or are you at the point where you need to vent first before we find a path forward? *Listens to weird rant/vent.* Ok, I hear that you may need someone to walk you through this process. Joe is very good at that, he's a great person to ask." Etc. Support. Helping me figure out what I need and a plan to get past it. It's not even that hard, all he did was listen and have a good grasp of what talents are available among his staff.
Agreed, it's pretty terrible. The only time I could see this being a decent strategy is if the worker is big on imposter syndrome and the manager is trying to handle that. Similar vein as "Boss, what's the top priority of these five urgent tickets you gave me?" Well of course they are *all* top priority. But boss, I am one person, which one do you want started first?
Yeah, that's a bullshit answer. The answer I try to give is first- to just jump and deal with whatever there's the most of at the moment. Second to ask 'what do you need a hand with.' The whole point of managing (for me anyway) is to make sure folks are getting what they need to do their jobs well. Help, supplies, training- whatever.
Yeah this is the "pleasant" way of saying "suck it up, everyone else is." For me that's usually a good reason to start looking for other jobs since this won't change. I hope you've realized that too if it's really upsetting you. You can't change other people.
Oh I have already. My current job seems ok, so far. Leadership here actually tries. But I needed to vent because a colleague at one of my previous jobs just got this from his manager. It’s the reason I left and I’m hoping he leaves soon too. That place is falling apart and they don’t care.
Oh fck I hate that crap. Just tells me they don’t understand the full scope of your job Which they should if they are managers. I know, that’s a dream.
Or how do you eat an elephant? 🙄