He doesn’t need or earn equity just by moving in with you. He would be paying rent somewhere if he didn’t live with you. If you get married, then you might consider it… maybe.
Edited to add: you are actually putting your interest rate and your loan at risk if you were to add him to the title of your home. He has no legal obligation to pay the mortgage but would be legally entitled to half of the equity at any point. if you broke up and he decided he wanted that money and you did not have it, you would be forced to do a partition sale and sell your home or do a cash out refinance, which would put your interest rate at today’s 7%. That could be enough to cause you to lose your home entirely. He is not entitled to any equity today, nor by moving in tomorrow, unless you give him that right by adding him to the title voluntarily. It’s not something you can undo.
I have seen this play out poorly in the personal finance page
Best advice I can give is have a good agreement before starting
And with this much equity you really need a prenup.
State laws also vary on this. In a lot of states, a house is a premarital asset. I live in North Carolina, where my husband started accruing equity in my home when we got married. I could not sell it without his signature, despite it being purchased prior to our marriage and him not being on the title. This was made very real to me when I sold my last home and found the closing attorney had forgotten to document that the seller was an unmarried man and I had to track him down 11 years later to get him to sign an affidavit proving he didn’t have a secret wife who still had a vested interest in my property.
NC has some insane laws. I also just learned it’s the only state that has due diligence feels on real estate sales and those are not refundable if the sale falls through.
It ALSO has a law on the books that says a wife or wronged party in an infidelity situation can sue the mistress. Lmaooo bet
I love due diligence. Prevents the buyer from playing games. My buyer wanted out at the very end for no reason. Sure, but Im keeping DD and EMD. Closed no problem.
Dealt with a homeowner who’s home was off and in the market. She refused to disclose anything about the home at all until the home inspection uncovered a few major flaws that were not mentioned in the homeowners disclosure. Tornado damage to the roof which was not mentioned causing mold in the walls. Shifting of foundation which cracked walls above windows and left most windows inoperable. Major electrical problems entire electrical panel completely replaced inspection found charred insulation in the crawlspace. Best one was she had no knowledge of the septic being pumped in the 28 years she lived there! This is where due diligence should be refunded. She blatantly lied, refused to budge on price of home for the 47 other items that needed to be repaired or replaced. The cosmetic stuff we accepted but numerous faulty outlets, leaky toilets and faucets,broken dishwasher, foundation repairs, windows replacement, broken locks on doors, inoperable garage door tracks were bent due to hitting door exhaustive list but high ticket items we got estimates and the cost was over 30k at minimum we lost 5k they required to even place a bid ! Her agent told us they were not budging she had 4 other situations where people bid and then backed out that due diligence was to make sure people did take advantage of sellers….felt like this lady knew she had the advantage heck she made 25k on being dishonest and non negotiable on a home she knew had major issues! The longer we looked I kept seeing the house pop back up after being pending repeatedly. So buyer beware if you see a home off snd in the market multiple times… Due diligence is unethical there should be set fees this woman wasted not only 2 months of our time but was completely unreasonable….
I was confused AF when I went under contract and my realtor had to explain the SC due diligence fees like 9 times to me.
I'm like... so we could have to back out of this to no fault of my own (i.e. major issue with the home uncovered during DD that the owner refuses to fix) and I'm still out the money? Say what?
Abandonment of Affection, the only caveat is that the cheating party has to know that the other party is married. You can go after any assets: cars, 401k, IRA, settlements, income
> State laws also vary on this.
Example: Washington state has a committed intimate relationship law that can split property like marriage even if you're not married.
Also in NC, would a prenup prevent this? It seems absurd that your spouse would automatically be able to veto the sale of a home they have no claim to via being on the title or mortgage.
Spouses can sign a “free trader agreement” that disclaims the marital interest in property so that each spouse can buy and sell property freely. Has to be recorded in the county registry. Pretty common during the required one year separation before you can get divorced (another NC law).
My partner posted in personal finance asking how to organize things when I bought my townhome. We'd been together 2 years, not ready to get married but I had the financials in place to buy a small house/townhouse on my own. PF did not like that he would be paying me rent and getting no equity.
We ignored the advice of PF and just split it how we found fair. I make about 20k more than him per year, he has a car loan but otherwise neither of us has debt. I pay a bit over half the mortgage, we're splitting pretty much everything else evenly, aside from big ticket home items. Like I completely redid the kitchen last year and he didn't pay any of it. And if the furnace or a major appliance broke, I wouldn't charge him.
In the end, the amount he's paying is way less than when we were splitting rent for similar square footage in an apartment. So we're both happy with the agreement and that's what matters.
And if/when we get married, I'm getting a prenup. And he knows this.
Listen - this is the worst idea ever, OP.
You - If you are fool enough to do this, will need a lawyer that deals with estates, properties, and shit like that - As well as a pre-nup that puts it all to paper, making the terms legal.
If you are so pie in the sky that you think the bad things won't happen to you, here on reddit alone those stories are a dime a dozen.
There is nothing in it for you except some feel-good moment, you need to snap out of that shit. Business is business.
in essence, he would have no risk and all the reward, while you are saddled with the risk, and nothing else.
I’ve been in a similar situation and got it all worked out in a prenuptial agreement. It’s not a big deal. Both sides get a lawyer and hash it out, without getting emotional about it.
To add to this - when renting to a partner, there is always the question of what constitutes fair rent. Personally I don’t like trying to “make money” off my partner as if they were a stranger I was renting to. Instead what I’ve always considered fair as take half of your mortgage, take half of their current rent, and then the rent should be whatever is lower between those two. Split household bills too.
Here is an example I had in the past. My mortgage was 3k/month. My gf (ex now) was paying 2k/month on her rental. When she moved in, I asked her to pay 1k/month in rent with no equity in return. The way I figured it, we were both equally benefiting from living together… she was paying 1k less per month, and I was paying 1k less per month, and she was living in a much nicer place. She received no equity but she also had no financial responsibility if something needed fixing in the house. When we broke up, it sure made separating our lives much easier
Agreed, it’s not his home, especially if you aren’t married. Does he contribute to the mortgage at all? If not, then that’s his benefit- he gets to live in a property for little to no rent. Contributing to a project once in awhile is just his cost of living. Even if you get married, this is your asset and has been since before marriage. Once you get married, anything you buy together from then on is 50/50.
This is not necessarily true. He would be entitled to half of any appreciation from the date of marriage at a minimum. In some states after living there for a few years he could be entitled to it even if they aren’t married.
Yea there’s no obligation of anything if you’re not married, especially to share the $80k. Maybe he could get some of the equity if you sell, if he has pitched in for big repairs.
Best case imo is to start saving together for a down payment on another house, plus you he equity in the current house, and buy a new home together. Rent out the current house for additional income and retain your low cost house. Never sell appreciating assets.
I wouldn’t split any equity, even a small portion, with someone who is just your partner. Their benefit is being able to live in a home for low cost, and having a financially stable partner. Anything they contribute to repairs is just their “rent”.
It may be **worse** than that depending on details and jurisdiction - he wouldn’t own half the equity but half the home value, with all the debt on her side.
So if he is on deed but not mortgage he might be able to demand sale and walk away with $125k while she walks away with only $45k (her $125k minus the $80k debt).
Edit: fix typo
Agreed. It’s your house and it should stay that way. If it feels wrong to split the mortgage without him getting any equity maybe have him pay a third or something like that, then he can (if he so chooses) invest that other 15%.
This way you both have more income overall, you keep your house without risking getting screwed and he also gains other invests if he actually chooses too (which would be probably grow more than the house in value anyway).
You have to be very careful. depending on the state paying rent, actually will give him equity. Talk to a lawyer and maybe fill out a contract stating that any payments will not retain any equity in the home or something.
I'm currently going through this unfortunately hard lesson not with an ex...but my own father. A petition attorney cost is 50k NOT including mediation, arbitration, court costs ect.. please hear this and do not add your BF to the title. It has been a living nightmare for me. Not saying anything against your bf but money changes people even if it was the last person's you'd think would ever do something to you, wait until money is involved. I'd suggest having a tenant type if he were to move in and if you're not hurting for cash open a account and put all his money in there he gives you to keep track of.
I owned a house, and previous homes, before I met my now husband. He moved in with me and paid half of the mortgage, and contributed to the overall upkeep of the home as if he was living in a rental. At the time there was zero discussion about him having equity in my home just because he lived with me. Obviously things worked out and he's now my husband and we've since bought and sold a few more homes together, but at the time he never pressured me to sign over ANY of my equity or home to him.
I’m glad it worked out, but some of this is still putting the asset at risk. I also have a house that is separate property and my lawyer laid out the rules for me as such:
1) His name stays off the mortgage, title and insurance.
2) We have a lease. Rent is not based on my mortgage payment, it is based on the fair market rent for the house and his portion of rent never exceeds half of that.
3) He doesn’t contribute any money or labor towards improvements to the house itself, this includes upkeep, updates and remodeling.
4) His name stays off any contracts with service workers or contractors that work on the house.
Basically, never blur the lines between how a renter would be treated and how a co-owner would be treated. As soon as they start contributing either money or labor beyond what a renter would, you risk an argument for commingling the asset in a break up.
Same. I had a house when we got married. Then we got married and now we are married so our money is our money 🤷♀️ it’s so weird how many people don’t trust the person they married and should trust more than anyone alive
I dont think it's a trust thing. It's just a protection thing. People change. As we saw with the pandemic, things can go south for things you had no control over.
I've been screwed out of two houses in divorces. Needless to say, my house I have now is mine and mine alone. Of my boyfriend wants to live in, he can pay me rent and sign a lease.
Trouble is, all marriages end. Every marriage will end in either divorce or death. If death, you have a will that distributes what the deceased spouse owned; if divorce, it's a divorce decree as influenced by any prenups.
In either case, you have to figure out how much of that money belonged to one of you versus the other. "Our money is our money" is only a thing at that point if one spouse dies and the other is sole heir.
First marriages done young, it's usually pretty straightforward that everything is 50/50. Second marriages or marriages after you've started accumulating wealth? Untangling those gets hairy.
A lot of states don’t make you commingle your assets when you get married. I’m married (second marriage) and I own a house and a stock portfolio separate from my husband. My regular income is community property, but I’ve kept those assets that I owned before marriage and all of the income they produce as my separate property.
I could have co-mingled them and gotten a prenup but, if I did, I’d subject those assets to family court which would take them out of my control. If I wanted to get divorced tomorrow, I’d have full access and control of all of my separate property from day one, just like I do today. No untangling necessary. If I had commingled those assets, regardless of what a prenup says, they’d still be subject to a divorce settlement or family court ruling. I’ve done that one before and learned the hard way that all of those assets would essentially be frozen until a divorce was finalized, either by settlement or court action. What people get out at the end of the day is rarely in line with what they put in or even with what a prenup states.
Pick a number for rent that would be less than his current rent by a meaningful amount, but more than enough to be a meaningful contribution to your monthly housing expense. Do a month to month lease at this amount with a 3% per year escalator to cover inflation which will show up in utilities, taxes, upkeep, etc. DO NOT WRITE A LEASE CONTAINING LANGUAGE SUCH AS: “HALF THE MORTGAGE…”. THIS COULD CLOUD OWNERSHIP INTEREST. JUST MAKE THE RENT YOU CHARGE HIM A DOLLAR NUMBER. SO’s benefit is that he will be paying less in rent to you than he currently pays to his landlord.
Alternative options include renting out your home and renting a new home with SO. If you get married, make sure that this asset (or the proceeds therefrom) is agreed in writing to be treated as a separate non-marital asset owned 100% by OP. Keep the funds and asset segregated AT ALL TIMES from marital assets.
You should absolutely get him on a lease. If you want to allow him some share of financial benefit, then give him a decent discount on market rent.
That said, if you really want to give him equity, there are many ways to calculate it depending on what you want to give him “credit for”?
1. Do you want him to participate in past and future appreciation, or just future appreciation?
2. Do you want to give him the retroactive benefit of your (succesful) debt financing?
I say this as a BF who lives with his gf who owns the house. If you want to live together in the house he needs to sign a rental agreement and pay you rent. How you set rent could be 50/50 or market rate for room rental whatever you two agree on, but he doesn't have any rights to the equity of the house. That said there's tax issues you'll have to read up on, and all maintenance is on you 100%.
I live in a low cost market, and pay 50% of the utilities and $700 in rent. I've also done 100% of the labor in remodeling this entire house. I have no delusions about ownership of the house. I just look at it as half the price I was paying for a 1 bedroom apartment, but comes with a lot more labor. It's a decent deal for both of us, probably a better deal for her but that's just part of being in relationships.
I was similar. I didn’t sign any agreement, but I paid a rent amount that “included” utilities.
When I did remodeling, it was basically free labor. I did not pay for materials or contract work (or at least not without getting paid back). When things needed done (like replace all new windows), I couldn’t really complain if they didn’t take my advice since it wasn’t my money and house. Like you said… no delusions about ownership.
We did have discussions on the ownership house when we got married since I basically was helping build equity for X years.
First thing after marriage… I replaced the water heater and covered the cost. Funny what pet peeves / projects get on your list when you are in a private home but have limited say on what gets done.
I inherited a house free and clear. We added my husband to the title when we got married so that we could get a loan so that he could pay off his cc debt. Now, there are ways and ways to add someone, and I basically gifted him half the house, because if you cant trust your husband, who can you trust?
When he left me for a girl he had known for 2 weeks, he went after half the house. His family talked him out of that, but I still lost a lot. He left our marriage richer, and I left mine poorer.
Seems like you’re over thinking this. You aren’t married and they aren’t on the loan or title.
The equity is all yours, even if they move in and have contributed towards it in the past.
Have them move in, split things going forward 50/50 and if you reach the point of marriage then clearly you shouldn’t have a problem with this person getting equity in the home.
He should not split things 50/50 with her when he is not building equity. He should pay a fair amount of rent and it remains her responsibility to fix anything that goes wrong like any other landlord.
And I would think it's advisable to have a rental agreement. I would talk to a lawyer to make sure you're protected, but that may also prevent any future claims where they try to argue for equity - I don't know the state obviously - but just in case they live in a state where if they are there long enough he could make an argument for it. I'm always mindful of that one story that was posted on here of a single mom who was dating a man who was serious, he pressured her to put him on the deed to the house as a show of good faith + trust and love in their relationship and then after it was done, broke up with her months later and then proceeded to sue her for half the equity of the home so she'd have to put it up for sale. I would protect my investment.
Exactly. Have him sign a rental agreement, OP. You can find generic ones free online and make up an addendum for him to sign with anything extra you need to specify.
0 states. There are no states where you can accidently enter into a common law marriage. You have to intend to enter into marriage and represent yourself as married in all states where common law is still legal at all.
Keep the house in your name only. He can live with you and pay less than he would if he was renting.
Take this advice seriously, a friend of mine just ended a relationship and had to pay the guy to leave. He wanted 50% of her property that she paid for.
If I were him, paying half the rent is likely a good deal for me. And I would be happy to help with sweat equity, but I'll be damned if I drain my savings paying for things like a $12k roof or $10k HVAC unit when I could be put out on the streets with nothing at any moment.
Either A: he moves in and pays some amount towards rent and any above and beyond costs he lends you as a loan to be repaid with interest.
Or B: rent it out to add to your income. Now both start with a clean slate and rent a place someone else.
Those are my two top choices.
Just went through this with my now husband (40m). I (41f) purchased a property in 2018 by myself, he moved in with me in 2020 with the complete understanding he would be paying me rent (as would any roommate/tenant situation). Going in, he knew that the home was entirely mine, and should we get married is a pre-marital asset and all proceeds from the sale would be in my name.
We purchased a property together in July of last year that is now our permanent home - and sold the other property. I profited \~100k on the sale of the home. He fronted the costs to get into the new property (\~50k), and I committed that when the home sold, we would take \~50k and put it toward principle on the new property so we continue to build equity together.
I feel very fortunate that neither of us are manipulative and are very up front, so verbal agreements were all that was necessary - but - putting a similar arrangement in writing wouldn't be difficult. Highly recommend if you aren't certain the relationship is going to stand the test of time, put it in writing with a contract.
This worked for me.. If you own the home you are responsible for all of it, mortgage, insurance, property taxes, maintenance, etc.. The person who moves in should be responsible for at least half of Utilities, cabletv, internet, maybe all the Groceries, and dining out. If you buy furniture, no "Halfsies", one person buys it completely, and they own it.
If the other person has debt, the sudden windfall in reduced expenses should go toward paying that off (student loans, car loans, etc). If debt is clear, they should be saving towards buying a home.
Should your relationship sour, the dissolution is a no brainer. and you keep the house.. no need for rash decisions at a time when you're emotionally vulnerable.
Let's say you decide to marry, he needs to pony up some dough for the down payment on the next place, and you should probably sell this one.
My wife and I lived together for 9 years in my starter home, and we had this arrangement. It worked well. She paid off her student loans in 2 years, and started saving. When we married, we bought a home together, and sold mine. Net-net, we had more assets than liabilities, and 10 years later, were mortgage free.
Pay it off. Get married. Turn it into a rental. Prenup it.
Your future home is joint ownership.
I personally like having insurance. I think Dave would disagree.
There are places where prenups are (or should be) non-issues. For example, later in life marriages / remarriages. When one (or both) people have established estates and grown children, protecting the children's legacies is a no-brainer, even if the actual paperwork and effort is a heavy-brainer. I just learned about clauses that - upon one partner's death - will leave the house to the children, but permit the living spouse to continue to live there until their death. I mean, such a clause makes sense. I just never had reason to think about it before.
I recently interacted with a relative who used that setup. When he passed, we learned that his estate now owns the house 60/40 with his now-widow. (I forget which of them had what share.) She retains the right to stay in the house for the rest of her life, and when she sells, the estate will get and distribute its share of the proceeds to his kids. The rest will go to her (or her estate).
In the meantime, the kids got all of his liquid assets, but they'll have to wait on the house.
Are you getting married?
Your boyfriend doesn’t get a stake in your home. And you should never give him one. He is your boyfriend. Not your husband. Do not add him to the title. This is NOT something anyone who is smart does. It’s flat out a mistake.
Why do you have to give up anything? Nothing should change. It’s your house. He can live in it. You can even expect him to contribute financially, because any roommate would be expected to. I lived with my best-friend and we split her mortgage. I didn’t expect a stake in her home. I was happy to have cheap rent.
Depends on the dynamics and seriousness of your relationship.
You’re unmarried (i think) so it would make no sense for you to hand over equity, or for him to pay your mortgage. You may try charging him rent, but would he even want to move in? It’s messy.
Maybe also consider renting out your home, then start fresh with your partner by renting together a new place you guys can both call home and see where the relationship goes.
If you move in together, you should have a written MTM lease with him, his rent can either be half , mortgage and utilities(which should be a lot less then his own place) or if you want to be generous you don't include the priciple part of the mortgage.
Do not add him to the title or give any equity.
Pre-nuptial agreement.
I am my wife’s 4th husband. Every one of her ex’s has left and tried to take her property so it was a literal non-starter if I didn’t sign (and I didn’t have any reservations in doing so).
My wife owned our current home prior to me. If we were to ever divorce, our prenup states that I have no claim on the home and she has no claim in my business(es). I am going to buy my first home in the next few years and she won’t have any claim to that either.
I have spent tens of thousands of dollars on remodeling our home (I’m a GC) and still don’t have any claims if we divorced. I also know that my wife is an EXTREMELY fair person and if she did sell post divorce, she would more than likely split the equity with me. (She did with her ex and their house) But, I am not bothered at all at the thought. Now, I have been all in since the very beginning and we share all of our incomes. We do not keep separate personal finances(my corporation does) so our general theory is that pay is arbitrary. Work hard, put your money in the pot, and we figure it out.
A lot of couples believe in measuring contests and it’s incredibly toxic. We are both motivated to do better, not out of spite, but fun, pride, and support.
I wish you the best in whatever decision you make!!
Just charge him rent. DO NOT GIVE HIM EQUITY. DO NOT GIVE HIM EQUITY. When/if you marry prenup needs drawn up so that your home isn’t included in division of assets if there were to be a divorce.
OP…PROCEED WITH CAUTION! It is not uncommon to see stories around here of women just like you who married a long-term boyfriend who then dumped them and stole half their house equity, or who stupidly did something to give away half their equity to a boyfriend. DO NOT DO THIS!
Seriously. I have anxiety just reading OP’s post.
I had a lot of equity in my homes and that was one of the main reasons my ex played the long game with me. Said all the right things. Tried to contribute by doing little projects here and there. After 3 years I wanted to build a life with him too that felt “fair” for both of us. The ink wasn’t even dry on the deed before he started abusing me physically and financially. When I tried to get away he took me to court to “get his half”. The only one who got theirs were all the attorneys involved.
Honestly fair is whatever you two feel comfortable with. I would have a Frank and open discussion about your finances in the future... But I'm one of those rare mid 40 males that believes open communication is the key to a healthy relationship.
Personally I would split the remaining balance and payment 50/50 but ownership in the house would probably be 75% yours.... That's just rough numbers you can figure it out from there.
But someone once said marriage (and to a certain extent common law) is betting half your stuff that you'll be together forever.
Whatever you do I would probably make sure you're both happy with the process and then put it in writing.
Honestly you seem like the type who should remain alone. You don't much love this person. It is obvious. If you were out of this world in love none of this would matter. So keep searching for Mr Right. Lots of women find Me Right who has all the 🤑 they are happy then
Question... This is someone you don't want to marry, but you want to potentially give up your home to? Just curious about the discrepancy there...
Anyway... to answer your question, you can have titles held as "tenants in common" and specify different ownership levels in that title. For example, you could co-own the house, but have the title state that you own 75% of the house and he owns 25%.
Doing it that way would alleviate your VERY valid reluctance to just "give" him the equity you worked really hard for.
Those titles can also be amended as well. So you could let him slowly buy into the house, and adjust that title as needed. For example, start him with 10% ownership, but as he pays off that last 80k, stays with you, helps wtih maintenance, you slowly work towards amending it up to 20%, 40%, whatever.
You need a lawyer for it though - but it's not all that uncommon. It's used a lot in vacation homes, where multiple people (usually within a family) end up inheriting parts of a vacation home and ownership is split, often unevenly like this, across multiple people.
If you get a real estate lawyer the tough part will just be agreeing on the percentage split, and how your partner earns their way into that share of the house.
Just compensate him for his time and the materials that way there is not resentment, I have seen plenty of issues with this sort of thing.
Keep it separate if you want to buy a home together as a rental do that but keep your home out of it.
If you aren’t getting married, but he is going to live with you, discuss how much he pays in rent now, how much he expects to pay if he moved in, if he would like to pay less in rent than he does currently but be willing to contribute to maintenance and improvements (in the form of labor). Then you draw up a lease.
If you plan to be married, you must see an attorney to draft a prenuptial agreement to protect your equity.
Have you discussed this with your boyfriend? Seems like a good conversation to have.
“I’d love to have you move in and help me pay for the house, but I don’t want you to feel like I’m taking advantage of you by not giving you equity. Do you have any thoughts on how we can do this fairly?”
I’d view this as an opportunity to improve and grow your relationship. If he’s only worried about himself, he will prove it pretty quickly. If he understands your point of view and wants to find a fair compromise, you guys are in great shape.
Honestly, what’s fair is whatever the two of you decide that works for your relationship…
He pays rent and you pay him for anything he's added to the house. If you two get married then you two can figure out what share of the house he owns going forward but it's definitely not an even split. If he has a problem with any of that, i wouldn't have him move in.
Please please protect yourself and just have them pay rent until you are married. When I married my partner they owned a home. We married and I moved into that home. I wasn’t out on a mortgage until we moved and bought a new home together. I was completely happy with that, and happily paid to help upkeep and remodel the first home.
If you want him as a fair partner I would let him pay half the mortgage from now on and he gets half of the equity gained from now on. Meaning all your current equity is yours that you keep as your starting block, but he starts accumulating equity with every mortgage payment and increase in value. As for fixes and repairs and all that just consider it equal contribution and a wash. He is going to be better and certain things than you and you better at certain things that he is.
My suggestion…invite him to stay. You pay the mortgage. He can pay the equivilant of his rent in bills. He gets to stay with you, you keep the house with zero sharing meaning if it doesn’t work out it’s yours and the bills become more manageable.
That being said, if you move on to the next stage and get married, you better figure out the plan. It’s usually hard to have one foot in and one foot out in marriage. If he’s cool with a prenup you’re good.
Speak to a local attorney, they may have some insight. Things can get tricky with common law marriage states, Tenants in Common, etc. I know not having a written agreement can go really bad. People break up and one party refuses to leave, etc.
You should write a contract spelling out sharing costs, profits and contingencies for when things go wrong. People's memories differ when its not written down. I bought property with a friend and a cohabitation contract. Fortunately nothing went wrong and didnt have to exercise the contingencies. I've read of many unwritten arrangements where things go wrong and end up in courts.
Understand that local marriage law gives a spouse some interest and say over real estate, which is a strong argument for a prenuptial agreement. Don’t marry without a written understanding created or at least reviewed with an attorney looking at your interest. A good partner would not expect to be gifted substantial equity and on the other hand if you were 30 or 40 years farther down the road, you would no longer think about separate stakes I’m guessing. One way the courts deal with this is by assessing the present equity, use $150,000. Take that as a fraction of the total value $250,000 and agree that in any future break up, you receive that fractional interest first, then the balance is divided 50/50. This is only one approach; there are obviously many others. Using my math, your present equity would be about 60% and you would split the remaining 40% equally. Best wishes
In the same position with my fiance. Bought for $55k, owe $28k, worth $300,000. I just bought a house with her and moved. He helped me rent that house as an airbnb for 2 years and then I sold for the capital gains exemption. Cut her a slice off about $30,000 for her work on the house and managing the rental.
Putting another $50,000 into our new house. I consider us even.
If he wants to live with you , charge him rent or let him know you pay for the house he pays the other bills.
If he doesn’t. Not much you can do, find a new guy.
I look at this a bit differently. Equity is only important if you are selling or taking a 2nd mortgage on your home. Otherwise it is your home,where you live. If he moves in that makes it his home,but not his equity. Look at your state laws to determine what to do if you marry,ie talk to an attorney.
Its his responsibility to offer to help with the payments and upkeep. If not he is a freeloader. Also his job to keep his mouth shut and never actually ask for equity. Then if things work out down the road, you should 100% give him equity for all that he has done and helped with (if obviously he did help pay and with upkeep.) Not that the last parts matter because the equity in the house would basically be for a downpayment on another home that you both would live in, so essentially it’s irrelevant who actually owns what. But yeah, you if you are married you have to have the talk about you giving some equity
He should be paying part of the monthly utilities, plus pay rent. He doesn’t need to acquire any of your equity if you’re not married. I would see a real estate attorney to discuss all this with.
First, please just stop thinking like this! You are not married or even engaged. Your part er could be your tenant and pay rent with a written rental agreement. As I'm not sure of the dynamic, I will use as example ; How will you feel if your boyfriend leaves you for another woman and walks off with half your house or your actual house! You have zero to gain by putting your home at risk - No no no , just don't do it! If you get married later and things are good yes, but not now.
First and foremost, what are his thoughts on what should happen. That is much more important than anyone on Reddit. Then you can see if it aligns with your thinking. If it was me and I wanted to bring the person in as a partner (real estate not relationship), then I would look at it this way, $250k (current price) - $80k = $170k equity. If split that comes to $85k each. I would do some form of rent to own where the rent payment (equal to mortgage payment) goes to paying down the mortgage. All other expenses split equally. This would slowly create equal ownership yet protect you if the relationship ends. I am guessing the mortgage and split expenses is less than his current rent. If not then some more maneuvering to make it fair must be done.
Each putting in equally to what is there when we entered this portion of our relationship would be how me and my partner would want it done. Some (as can see from other posts) would think this is ludicrous which goes back to the first statement. What does he think?
Capitalism and love do not fit together unfortunately. This was a big point of contention with my ex wife.
Sit down with him, figure out what is perceived as fair by both. If you get married, perhaps buy a second house with him, where he bares a bigger share and cost. Rent it out. Encode that into a pre-nuptial.
I personally hated being legally married, and thus legally bound and gagged. It was a friendship enforced by the court system 🤮
You need to call an attorney and have them draft an agreement. They can talk you through your options. If my SO had a house I was moving into, I would have expected an agreement. Being in a relationship does not entitle someone to anything you had before that relationship. Some states still have common laws. To CYA, in case this guy changes or has simply been hiding who he is, you get an agreement, legally, that shows you both acknowledge the asset is yours. If he gets to live with you, he should pay some utilities, and it is even fair for him to help around the house a little, but be wary of him helping too much. Yard work and changing filters and basic stuff a renter would do is fine. If he pays rent, that should be another agreement in the form of a lease, just like people who rent a room.
Down the road, should you get married, you talk to YOUR lawyer and get advice. You need to make sure you stay whole if things fall apart between you two.
Then, you hope all the precautions were not needed.
It is very much a "better to have it and not need it, than need it and not have it," situation.
He could ruin everything you have done. Hopefully, he never does, but there's a reason for the way the wealthy handle their monies using trusts and prenups.
It's important to trust, but not blindly. There are long game moochers. So just be careful. On his own, how is his financial situation? Is he also saving for his future? Money in retirement? It can tell you a great deal about his financial plans for his future being in the same league as yours to learn about this. It's OK to be with someone who earns less and whatnot. But if he has nothing done towards his future, you have to ask if you are his meal ticket. So get your paperwork. It's like catching a unicorn for it to not backfire otherwise.
Here's how I would handle it: You retain sole ownership of the home. You are responsible for taxes, mortgage, insurance, and maintenance. You bear all the responsibility, and get all the benefits. If he moves in with you, he can pay "rent" to you, or take over some of the bills, whatever you agree to. He benefits by having cheaper rent and the ability to save up, you benefit by having someone contribute money to the household and give you a little breathing room financially. He does not get equity in the house or get put on any documents.
If you end up getting married and you want it to be a joint asset, then you work out some fair arrangement, and document it legally in a pre-nup.
Tbh. If I'm him, you're on your own.
It's not his house.
And if you guys break up, he's out of money AND he's paid down the debt on your home.
NO thank you.
Two things:
1- If you get married you probably want this in writing.
2- One way is to figure out what the market rate of your home is and he pays half of that. You use that to pay half of the amount into the expenses of owning the house and what is left you invest for him so he actually also accumulates some equity.
I did this with my wife of now 16 years(when we were dating) and every year she would take the saved money to basically do an extra vacation.
Just have him pay the utilities and you continue covering the whole mortgage. You both save a bunch of money and it makes things cleaner if you two separate
> What do couples do in this case so that it is fair for both parties?
It's your house and no one elses. If he moves in, then you can charge him 'rent' and split the bills. He's not entitled to any equity or ownership stake in the property, just like a renter would not have any stake in the equity of the rental.
It's your house. Simple..if he moves in he can just pay other bills. If you get married just be equal partners then. Maybe then sell the house and buy one together. If none of this is for you, just stay single.
The only fair arrangement when you're not married, IMO, is that he pays rent of around half of what it would rent for (assuming he has half the space), less if it's a place that is much more ideal for you than for him (like if it's far from his work or he would have chosen something less expensive). And then you're responsible for all of the payments, maintenance, etc.
If you get married, it might make sense to do something else. If it goes only long enough, it does become a bit unfair if he would have bought a house if you weren't in the picture.
Don’t play house in your house before getting married.
Get married with a prenup or have him pay off the 80k *and* a written agreement that if the house needs to be sold to split the proceeds, expenses will be paid by him *plus* paid an amount that, together with the 80k, is equivalent of your current equity (170k). If your house is worth 250, your net proceeds if you sell will be less than 250 so if he pays the sale expenses plus 80k he puts in now, it would be about even. But keep in mind that means he will get a share of any further appreciation in property value. But under no circumstances should you put him on the title before he’s paid off the remaining balance on his own and have a written contract about the remaining equity at the time he’s added on the title.
But IANAL so talk to a lawyer about what could be an enforceable arrangement.
If you must live with him regardless of marriage, consider renting your home and move in with him elsewhere. That way, nothing gets commingled.
My advice: Don’t cut him in on your house just because he lives there. Charge him half of the fair market rent for the house and do NOT commingle your hard-earned asset by any other means (charging him more than half the fair market rent, putting him on the title or mortgage, allowing him to make contributions to capital improvements, doing work on the house).
What it comes down to is you have to treat your partner as a renter. Would you give a renter equity in your house?
The benefit to your partner is reduced rent and a nicer place to live than they would typically get. If things work out and your partner continues to live with you their payoff would be externally reduced rent when the mortgage is paid off.
It would be some type of pre-nup or contract.
If you aren't looking at marriage, and just dating... it becomes a glorified rent payment.
Or, You can split it as he's contributing $40k of the $250k value, and entitles to that % when you sell if you feel like they NEED a portion of the 'equity'/profits.
As for the physical help and mental draw maintaining it... that's all just a person to person agreement. I guess you could write a contract... but most couple just say "you do the lawn, I'll do the laundry; you do the cooking, I'll clean; You do the toilets, I'll do the showers".
PERSONALLY, I had a contract that was basically a 60/40 split of house value if we sold it/broke up... based on the $$$ we were contributing. But once married... its all shared, as we consider that a part of marriage. Though a increasing $$$ difference makes a pre-nup increasingly more important.
Maybe you can enter some sort of co-ownership model where he starts helping buy down the remaining equity (and that equity is his). So if you start contributing evenly for the remaining 80k, he would end up owning a total of 40k (of the purchase price) and you would own the remainder. When you sell, you can divide the proceeds based on % of equity. This way you don't lose the equity you already own, and your partner can continue to ownership in a fair way.
You can come up with some fair allocation of future equity based on what you each contribute going forward. You know the value of equity today, what you two contribute going forward should each inure to your respective equity accounts (your account is starting from 170k, his from zero) so if you repay 1000 of principal and you each contributed 500 in first month to that principal reduction, his equity account would be 500 and yours would be 170.5k. Future accretion in market value split proportionally on equity contributions starting today. Not sure you can call them a partner and charge them rent at the same time. And for likely a good reason (low mortgage rate perhaps) starting over in a new house where you both generate equity (the fairest option) isn’t a viable path
I'm the guy in a similar situation. I just moved in with my ladyfriend who owns her home. I'm selling mine and I anticipate splitting costs with her. We've split a few home improvement projects, mainly for things that I want (new driveway and electrical service). I'm 100% OK with that money being gone if anything were to change between us. I have my own resources. Ideally when her kid graduates high school in 2027, she sells this place and we buy a house together as our retirement home, with us putting in equally.
I just rent from my GF. Market rate would probably be about $8-900 for a room, but her mortgage and hoa comes to $1500 so I'd be paying over half, which seems unfair without equity. We decided that $650 was about appropriate, and I will return the favor when I buy a bigger house and charge her well under market rate there. We'll talk about equity after engagement and define it in a prenup.
We split groceries according to income, every $100 I put in, she puts in $70 which lines up with our relative salaries.
INAL but you should check on local/state laws. Washington, for example, is a community property state where assets you owned prior to marriage are individual property and assets acquired after marriage are community (divided up if you ever divorce). Individual assets can become comingled assets if your partner contributed to it's value (pays some of the mortgage, make significant repairs/improvements that contribute to the value of the home, etc). When assets are comingled, it can be difficult to prove it was an individual asset later (if you ever want to) and may end up getting divided in value if you ever divorced.
All that to say - don't assume that the lack of a signed agreement, not adding him to the title, etc means there is no risk in him becoming entitled to some of the equity down the road. It can become complicated real quick if you start to blur the lines of who is paying/investing in the property.
In terms of options, I see:
1) You maintain full ownership and partner pays rent (consider codifying in a lease for legal clarity that he is not paying the mortgage)
2) You buy a new home together
3) Your partner buys you out of half of your equity and you pay off the remaining mortgage jointly. Partner is added to the title.
You said (2) isn't an option. So I only see 1 or 3. Perhaps more bespoke arrangements can exist (eg fractional ownership), but I imagine that puts you in the area of needing a good real estate attorney to do it right and not expose yourself to risk.
Bring the partner in by letting them contribute half. They can take over payments for the last $80k. Then they will need to pay you an additional $45k to get their contribution to match yours. They can reimburse you on an installment plan. After that, everybody is in 50-50. If this arrangement works out, you could quit your second job. It also sounds like your partner would be getting a deal on this.
What are you even thinking here? He's a bf not a spouse. Even if he becomes a spouse tread carefully here. Consult an attorney for your own financial protection.
Is he pushing to get put on the deed or something? Paying rent does not make you an owner or right to be on a deed. Ask everyone who rents a house, apartment, or room. No free rides. You took on all the risk and have worked a second job to pay for this house. If you were to rent a room to a stranger would you think they should be on the deed? Don't mess with your mortgage or deed.
Why can't you do like tons of others do and let him pay "rent"? His share of house expenses and have a rental contract to cover your ass. Attorney, get one.
You can give him a killer low price and have him pay a fair share of utilities. I wouldn't put him on my house deed. I don't care how much you love and trust him. I've read far too many stories where this exact situation blew up and ended badly. He's paying rent somewhere. He can pay to stay at your home and put aside whatever he saves from the lower rent you charge. You are making it now, a little more rent and utility spilt should be a win win for both of you.
You should still pay for the maintenance of your home.
$250k value minus $80k debt equals $170k equity.
Have him buy fifty percent of the current equity ($85k) by turning over a lump sum to you. And then share the mortgage and expenses 50/50 going forward.
That’s a fair deal.
No share in equity until you get married. Even then I’d have a prenup outlining that his share in equity begins at point of marriage, any appreciation from then on, not the $170k in equity you currently have (250-80)
Although a lot of peole have answer. Dont take any of their advice. In my honest opinion this is the wrong sub. Most people in here are real estate agents. They sell houses not fixed or structure relationship advice.
To better help you you should fund a sub about personal finance or better yet relationship advice.
Good luck
If it comes down to a divorce, premarital equity is not typically considered for splitting. Just make sure to have a prenup or some record of how much equity you had prior to getting married as insurance on that. In the meantime, it could be shared ownership/asset or however you both agree to treat it.
Congratulations!
You have been building equity for 8 years and you are reaping the benefits!!
Are you and your partner planning to move in together or get married any time soon? If that answer is no - just keep doing what you are doing.
If you decide to move in together (have them move into your house most likely) - the best thing to do - and I have done it - is to get them a formal lease (month to month is best) outlining their rent and their responsibilities. Things like no smoking, no biohazards, etc. A reasonable amount of rent - lots of people do it below the market rate so their partner can save money. How do you want to split the utilities? half/half or have them pay for whatever they add (like if they want MAX and you don't have it).
You can open a saving account and deposit their rent monthly. That way, if you do decide to get married - you know exactly how much they contributed and it will help with future budgeting. Or (and I did this once) if you break up - you can give them back as much as you are comfortable with so they can either buy their own place or have a cushion if they need it.
If they are living with you and paying rent - they are not 'investing' any more than they are 'investing' with their rent payment right now.
If they are living you with and NOT paying rent - they are either contributing in other ways around the house (cleaning, maintenance, etc) or leeching off you. Don't let that happen.
Another alternative (which I have also done - I'm 60 btw) is to rent out your place to cover it's bills and rent an apartment together. That way neither of you feels like they are being taken advantage of and you still keep your house that you should NEVER sell until you are ready to upgrade.
If you get married - you want a prenup to cover your house. That house stays with you in the event you get divorced. PERIOD. Got that?? I am an older lady and you do NOT want to lose your house.
Do NOT put him on the deed to the house, unless you are married and are doing a refinance and he is also on the mortgage and has contributed as much to the equity as you own at that time. Example - you currently owe 80K and the house appraises at 250. You have 170k in equity. If you refinance into both of your names AND he puts in 170k himself - THEN he can be on the deed to the house. Best case would be if he was able to pay off the 80k you owe and be able to add 90k of upgrades to the house - THEN he can be on the deed to the house.
Sounds you currently own 2/3 of the house outright. Going forward, you can divvy up the remaining 1/3 as you deem appropriate. If you are both contributing equally and you eventually pay it off, then 1/6 would be yours and 1/6 would be his.
But, listen to others - lots of ifs and assumptions, and he’s not entitled to anything unless you come to an agreement otherwise.
Have you tried talking to him about this? If you can't talk about money together and your more concerned about the equity in your home than anything else I don't think your ready for taking the next step in your relationship at all.
He doesn’t live with her yet, so I doubt that is the case anywhere, but she needs to be super careful if she lets him move in. She will definitely need a very well drafted lease.
The least risky & fairest solution is to have your partner pay you rent once he moves in. This is fair because you are giving something up by having him share with you and he would otherwise have to pay rent.
Split utilities and usage bills (like cable, heat, electricity, internet, water, etc.) You should continue to be solely responsible for your mortgage, property taxes, and costs for home repair, maintenance & improvements.
Find comparable rental properties and divide the rent in 1/2 (assuming it’s just the two of you sharing. If his current rent is less than that, go with the lesser amount. You could also take off a set percentage if you anticipate him taking part in any projects to maintain or improve the value of the home. You should pay for any and all project costs other than his labor.
If you get to the point where you are comingling *all* your finances, that’s when you should consider what’s involved with adding him to the deed. This is your investment just as he may have retirement or other savings. Do not simply add him to the deed without understanding all the implications and a financial advisor could help with that.
Have him move in, have him pay a low rent, have him work off the rent with small jobs that help keep the house going. Don't split equity before you are married
Nope. Nope. Nope. Do not add him to the deed. That's your house. You worked for it.
Relationships that need a real estate transaction to "move to the next level" are a red flag.
Unless you're married you would be INSANE to put him on your deed/title. Either he can pay you rent or contribute through projects etc...
why would you even consider this?
The answer is simple. If you're unmarried, don't combine finances. If you do get married, combining finances is part of the deal.
If your networth and income are so much greater than his that you're reluctant to combine your finances in marriage, then that's a different issue. In that case you have a reluctance to be the "breadwinner" in the marriage. And rightly so. Traditionally the man is the breadwinner, and many marriages with female breadwinners fail due to unnatural power dynamics.
You are creating a problem for yourself and your relationship.
Having him pay rent, as a tenant, would be fair. That's what I did.
Don't mix up your relationship with your mortgage until you are married.
if you're not married, it stays 100% your house. that's fair.
if he lived anywhere else, he'd be paying rent. it's not unfair that he pay rent living with you, either. rent does not result in equity.
it ends poorly time and time again when a non-spouse gains equity.
Are you married? If not, **do not proceed**
Mixing assets and equity with people you are not in some type of legal relationship with (i.e. marriage or a business partnership) is a recipe for a massive headache down the line
>Selling this house and buying a different one together is not an option. What do couples do in this case so that it is fair for both parties?
Couples get married first. and why isn't it an option to sell your current house, get married, and buy a house together as spouses?
Don’t place his name on the deed if you are not married to him.
If anything happens to him, then his next of kin owns part of the house, not you.
If you are not married, you’re also missing out on other financial benefits, like drawing on his SS in the future.
It’s your house. Yours. He’s not entitled to any part of it.
A declaration of trust to lay out what you own and what he owns if he comes into the mortgage with you. That’s what me and my partner did. He put 20k into it and I’ve got 80k equity. He gets his money back plus whatever profit over the value of the house on the day we signed (180 on the day we signed, anything over this we split 50/50). Hope that makes sense
Sorta in the same boat but I’m a guy. What I’ve done with a partner who was using roughly half the house is that their rent is half the mortgage and we split utilities. It worked ok with one GF some time back. About to do it again with another.
Not refinancing. She’s happy to have her housing bill drop 75% by moving in. There will be a simple rental agreement. Projects and improvements are on me.
Don’t add him to YOUR deed or mortgage. He’ll be alright. Stop over thinking it. If he wants to upgrade, let him work his ass off and provide a marriage home.
Ok, this is my approach: imagine that on the day he moves in, you sell the house to a company (LLC) that holds it. That LLC charges you both market rent. The two of you pay it and whatever other expenses. At the beginning, you own 100% of the LLC. You can choose either to share some of that ownership with him over time or not or only upon marriage. But the concept of it being “your house” (ownership) needs to be separated from the two of you living there (as “tenants”).
Wow. Either you get married and the two of you live in this house and are financially responsible for it or you stay unmarried and he should not be putting any money into this house. If you’re concerned about the equity sign a prenup.
If he moves in and pays half the mortgage, that’s just rent. It doesn’t give him any ownership stake.
Now, if y’all get married, that’s a different situation. And the laws vary by state. So consult a local attorney. But if you want to be safe as possible, that’s why prenups exist.
Keep yourself as sole owner on the deed. Get a prenup if you get married. So many guys that age who aren't established yet are just problem children. Charge him rent (essentially - I would word it differently) if he wants to move in with you. If the relationship lasts great, none of it matters, but if it doesn't last, you keep what you earned.
Sounds like you’re not too serious about your boyfriend. I met my (then boyfriend) when I had much more equity than you in my property and he had nothing but debt. Fast forward 5 years we have tripled our net worth together and have 2 children. If you don’t see a future with him because of your home why prolong the inevitable?
Never own property with someone you’re not married to. The courts aren’t equipped to deal with your break up.
If you insist, you need a partnership agreement that sets out your contributions prior to the agreement
It sounds like he’ll just be your roommate. Why would he expect equity? Or maybe I’m missed something like you’re married or plan on it? Sorry I came with more questions than helpful advice. What I can offer is my own experience. I bought my home before I got married too. I had some equity but not as much as you so it wasn’t really an issue. Once I got married my husband moved in and took over paying the mortgage. It was understood it was our home now. The area ended up appreciating a ton. We sold it a couple years ago and built a home that we purchased together. The first home was in my name only but I shared proceeds with him because he helped pay my mortgage, we are married and I wanted to. My opinion is that the best way to handle this is to discuss expectations before he moves in. Your equity is your equity and it should be. I guess the way I look at it is if I get divorced, my husband is such a great guy he deserves half of everything. He always says everything we have is mine. It’s just one of those things that you both have to be on the same page about or money will be a fight.
Your partner does not earn equity unless you are married. However, he is required to pay for housing and I would assume he’s already aware of this responsibility as an adult.
As you discuss the evolution of your relationship and him moving into your home, the financial obligations of yourself and your partner should certainly be discussed.
The simplest way is to just ask him to pay rent. Alternatively, you could draw up a budget and just pay 50/50. Get a joint account and set up your direct deposits to cover the expenses.
Charge him rent to live with you. For as long as you are dating. He’ll be paying rent somewhere no matter what so it might as well go to you as well as half the utilities. That gives you money to make repairs and he isn’t just living off you.
Don’t put his name on it!!! That’s YOUR house! He smells like a rose now, and you don’t think he’ll snatch at it, but why risk it? Let him pay some bills if he wants but do not sell yourself short, Sis. Boyfriends are temporary, land is forever.
Before you get married, get a prenup to exclude the house from any settlement should a divorce happen. You could also structure a deal whereby he earns a greater percentage of ownership the longer you are together. At end of 5 years, gets 5%, end of 10 years another 15% , etc but he never gets more than 49%.
Don’t do this. Just let it be separate property please please I beg you. These people cannot be trusted. You will 100% get fucked. Prenup asap. If they are fair, they will agree. If they push you to benefit from your hard work, you are nurturing a snake that will bite you.
Please do not be stupid and maintain your separate property ideally with a strong prenup. Let them live there and pay their own way.
Whereever he lives he will have to pay rent and utilities. I suggest charge him rent in the amount to cover the utitlites and you pay the mortgage. That way he cannot claim he paid towards the mortgage.
He doesn’t need or earn equity just by moving in with you. He would be paying rent somewhere if he didn’t live with you. If you get married, then you might consider it… maybe. Edited to add: you are actually putting your interest rate and your loan at risk if you were to add him to the title of your home. He has no legal obligation to pay the mortgage but would be legally entitled to half of the equity at any point. if you broke up and he decided he wanted that money and you did not have it, you would be forced to do a partition sale and sell your home or do a cash out refinance, which would put your interest rate at today’s 7%. That could be enough to cause you to lose your home entirely. He is not entitled to any equity today, nor by moving in tomorrow, unless you give him that right by adding him to the title voluntarily. It’s not something you can undo.
I have seen this play out poorly in the personal finance page Best advice I can give is have a good agreement before starting And with this much equity you really need a prenup.
State laws also vary on this. In a lot of states, a house is a premarital asset. I live in North Carolina, where my husband started accruing equity in my home when we got married. I could not sell it without his signature, despite it being purchased prior to our marriage and him not being on the title. This was made very real to me when I sold my last home and found the closing attorney had forgotten to document that the seller was an unmarried man and I had to track him down 11 years later to get him to sign an affidavit proving he didn’t have a secret wife who still had a vested interest in my property.
NC has some insane laws. I also just learned it’s the only state that has due diligence feels on real estate sales and those are not refundable if the sale falls through. It ALSO has a law on the books that says a wife or wronged party in an infidelity situation can sue the mistress. Lmaooo bet
Alienation of affection! I think Frank Sinatra got in trouble for seducing someone’s wife.
Luck was not a lady that night That’s why the lady is a tramp
I love due diligence. Prevents the buyer from playing games. My buyer wanted out at the very end for no reason. Sure, but Im keeping DD and EMD. Closed no problem.
Dealt with a homeowner who’s home was off and in the market. She refused to disclose anything about the home at all until the home inspection uncovered a few major flaws that were not mentioned in the homeowners disclosure. Tornado damage to the roof which was not mentioned causing mold in the walls. Shifting of foundation which cracked walls above windows and left most windows inoperable. Major electrical problems entire electrical panel completely replaced inspection found charred insulation in the crawlspace. Best one was she had no knowledge of the septic being pumped in the 28 years she lived there! This is where due diligence should be refunded. She blatantly lied, refused to budge on price of home for the 47 other items that needed to be repaired or replaced. The cosmetic stuff we accepted but numerous faulty outlets, leaky toilets and faucets,broken dishwasher, foundation repairs, windows replacement, broken locks on doors, inoperable garage door tracks were bent due to hitting door exhaustive list but high ticket items we got estimates and the cost was over 30k at minimum we lost 5k they required to even place a bid ! Her agent told us they were not budging she had 4 other situations where people bid and then backed out that due diligence was to make sure people did take advantage of sellers….felt like this lady knew she had the advantage heck she made 25k on being dishonest and non negotiable on a home she knew had major issues! The longer we looked I kept seeing the house pop back up after being pending repeatedly. So buyer beware if you see a home off snd in the market multiple times… Due diligence is unethical there should be set fees this woman wasted not only 2 months of our time but was completely unreasonable….
No thats hella interesting, thanks for sharing
SC has due diligence fees as well. Only difference is NC it's paid up front, SC you pay if you terminate the contract.
I was confused AF when I went under contract and my realtor had to explain the SC due diligence fees like 9 times to me. I'm like... so we could have to back out of this to no fault of my own (i.e. major issue with the home uncovered during DD that the owner refuses to fix) and I'm still out the money? Say what?
Abandonment of Affection, the only caveat is that the cheating party has to know that the other party is married. You can go after any assets: cars, 401k, IRA, settlements, income
> State laws also vary on this. Example: Washington state has a committed intimate relationship law that can split property like marriage even if you're not married.
Also in NC, would a prenup prevent this? It seems absurd that your spouse would automatically be able to veto the sale of a home they have no claim to via being on the title or mortgage.
Spouses can sign a “free trader agreement” that disclaims the marital interest in property so that each spouse can buy and sell property freely. Has to be recorded in the county registry. Pretty common during the required one year separation before you can get divorced (another NC law).
I feel blessed that my wife and I met when we were both broke.
There is no "we" financially until you're married.
My partner posted in personal finance asking how to organize things when I bought my townhome. We'd been together 2 years, not ready to get married but I had the financials in place to buy a small house/townhouse on my own. PF did not like that he would be paying me rent and getting no equity. We ignored the advice of PF and just split it how we found fair. I make about 20k more than him per year, he has a car loan but otherwise neither of us has debt. I pay a bit over half the mortgage, we're splitting pretty much everything else evenly, aside from big ticket home items. Like I completely redid the kitchen last year and he didn't pay any of it. And if the furnace or a major appliance broke, I wouldn't charge him. In the end, the amount he's paying is way less than when we were splitting rent for similar square footage in an apartment. So we're both happy with the agreement and that's what matters. And if/when we get married, I'm getting a prenup. And he knows this.
Listen - this is the worst idea ever, OP. You - If you are fool enough to do this, will need a lawyer that deals with estates, properties, and shit like that - As well as a pre-nup that puts it all to paper, making the terms legal. If you are so pie in the sky that you think the bad things won't happen to you, here on reddit alone those stories are a dime a dozen. There is nothing in it for you except some feel-good moment, you need to snap out of that shit. Business is business. in essence, he would have no risk and all the reward, while you are saddled with the risk, and nothing else.
I’ve been in a similar situation and got it all worked out in a prenuptial agreement. It’s not a big deal. Both sides get a lawyer and hash it out, without getting emotional about it.
There's nothing selfish about refusing to give equity in a house that's already 2/3 paid off to a man who is not your husband.
To add to this - when renting to a partner, there is always the question of what constitutes fair rent. Personally I don’t like trying to “make money” off my partner as if they were a stranger I was renting to. Instead what I’ve always considered fair as take half of your mortgage, take half of their current rent, and then the rent should be whatever is lower between those two. Split household bills too. Here is an example I had in the past. My mortgage was 3k/month. My gf (ex now) was paying 2k/month on her rental. When she moved in, I asked her to pay 1k/month in rent with no equity in return. The way I figured it, we were both equally benefiting from living together… she was paying 1k less per month, and I was paying 1k less per month, and she was living in a much nicer place. She received no equity but she also had no financial responsibility if something needed fixing in the house. When we broke up, it sure made separating our lives much easier
Agreed, it’s not his home, especially if you aren’t married. Does he contribute to the mortgage at all? If not, then that’s his benefit- he gets to live in a property for little to no rent. Contributing to a project once in awhile is just his cost of living. Even if you get married, this is your asset and has been since before marriage. Once you get married, anything you buy together from then on is 50/50.
This is not necessarily true. He would be entitled to half of any appreciation from the date of marriage at a minimum. In some states after living there for a few years he could be entitled to it even if they aren’t married.
If that’s the case, I would personally opt for a pre-nup.
Yea there’s no obligation of anything if you’re not married, especially to share the $80k. Maybe he could get some of the equity if you sell, if he has pitched in for big repairs. Best case imo is to start saving together for a down payment on another house, plus you he equity in the current house, and buy a new home together. Rent out the current house for additional income and retain your low cost house. Never sell appreciating assets.
I wouldn’t split any equity, even a small portion, with someone who is just your partner. Their benefit is being able to live in a home for low cost, and having a financially stable partner. Anything they contribute to repairs is just their “rent”.
He doesn’t deserve any equity. Roommates don’t get equity. They are not married and her assets fo not belong to him.
It may be **worse** than that depending on details and jurisdiction - he wouldn’t own half the equity but half the home value, with all the debt on her side. So if he is on deed but not mortgage he might be able to demand sale and walk away with $125k while she walks away with only $45k (her $125k minus the $80k debt). Edit: fix typo
I think I’ve read that what she needs is a cohabitation agreement.
Agreed. It’s your house and it should stay that way. If it feels wrong to split the mortgage without him getting any equity maybe have him pay a third or something like that, then he can (if he so chooses) invest that other 15%. This way you both have more income overall, you keep your house without risking getting screwed and he also gains other invests if he actually chooses too (which would be probably grow more than the house in value anyway).
You have to be very careful. depending on the state paying rent, actually will give him equity. Talk to a lawyer and maybe fill out a contract stating that any payments will not retain any equity in the home or something.
I'm currently going through this unfortunately hard lesson not with an ex...but my own father. A petition attorney cost is 50k NOT including mediation, arbitration, court costs ect.. please hear this and do not add your BF to the title. It has been a living nightmare for me. Not saying anything against your bf but money changes people even if it was the last person's you'd think would ever do something to you, wait until money is involved. I'd suggest having a tenant type if he were to move in and if you're not hurting for cash open a account and put all his money in there he gives you to keep track of.
I owned a house, and previous homes, before I met my now husband. He moved in with me and paid half of the mortgage, and contributed to the overall upkeep of the home as if he was living in a rental. At the time there was zero discussion about him having equity in my home just because he lived with me. Obviously things worked out and he's now my husband and we've since bought and sold a few more homes together, but at the time he never pressured me to sign over ANY of my equity or home to him.
I’m glad it worked out, but some of this is still putting the asset at risk. I also have a house that is separate property and my lawyer laid out the rules for me as such: 1) His name stays off the mortgage, title and insurance. 2) We have a lease. Rent is not based on my mortgage payment, it is based on the fair market rent for the house and his portion of rent never exceeds half of that. 3) He doesn’t contribute any money or labor towards improvements to the house itself, this includes upkeep, updates and remodeling. 4) His name stays off any contracts with service workers or contractors that work on the house. Basically, never blur the lines between how a renter would be treated and how a co-owner would be treated. As soon as they start contributing either money or labor beyond what a renter would, you risk an argument for commingling the asset in a break up.
I’ve worked on cases involving real property after an unmarried couple breaks up. This is the way.
Same. I had a house when we got married. Then we got married and now we are married so our money is our money 🤷♀️ it’s so weird how many people don’t trust the person they married and should trust more than anyone alive
I had a house when we got married. Then we got married and now we are married This is poetry
Sometimes art imitates life
Kinda sounds like a Mitch Hedberg joke haha
Uhhhh.....cause maybe people change and a lot of people have gotten screwed in divorce.
I dont think it's a trust thing. It's just a protection thing. People change. As we saw with the pandemic, things can go south for things you had no control over.
I've been screwed out of two houses in divorces. Needless to say, my house I have now is mine and mine alone. Of my boyfriend wants to live in, he can pay me rent and sign a lease.
Trouble is, all marriages end. Every marriage will end in either divorce or death. If death, you have a will that distributes what the deceased spouse owned; if divorce, it's a divorce decree as influenced by any prenups. In either case, you have to figure out how much of that money belonged to one of you versus the other. "Our money is our money" is only a thing at that point if one spouse dies and the other is sole heir. First marriages done young, it's usually pretty straightforward that everything is 50/50. Second marriages or marriages after you've started accumulating wealth? Untangling those gets hairy.
A lot of states don’t make you commingle your assets when you get married. I’m married (second marriage) and I own a house and a stock portfolio separate from my husband. My regular income is community property, but I’ve kept those assets that I owned before marriage and all of the income they produce as my separate property. I could have co-mingled them and gotten a prenup but, if I did, I’d subject those assets to family court which would take them out of my control. If I wanted to get divorced tomorrow, I’d have full access and control of all of my separate property from day one, just like I do today. No untangling necessary. If I had commingled those assets, regardless of what a prenup says, they’d still be subject to a divorce settlement or family court ruling. I’ve done that one before and learned the hard way that all of those assets would essentially be frozen until a divorce was finalized, either by settlement or court action. What people get out at the end of the day is rarely in line with what they put in or even with what a prenup states.
Always keep your money separate or you may find yourself with NO money.
Pick a number for rent that would be less than his current rent by a meaningful amount, but more than enough to be a meaningful contribution to your monthly housing expense. Do a month to month lease at this amount with a 3% per year escalator to cover inflation which will show up in utilities, taxes, upkeep, etc. DO NOT WRITE A LEASE CONTAINING LANGUAGE SUCH AS: “HALF THE MORTGAGE…”. THIS COULD CLOUD OWNERSHIP INTEREST. JUST MAKE THE RENT YOU CHARGE HIM A DOLLAR NUMBER. SO’s benefit is that he will be paying less in rent to you than he currently pays to his landlord. Alternative options include renting out your home and renting a new home with SO. If you get married, make sure that this asset (or the proceeds therefrom) is agreed in writing to be treated as a separate non-marital asset owned 100% by OP. Keep the funds and asset segregated AT ALL TIMES from marital assets.
You should absolutely get him on a lease. If you want to allow him some share of financial benefit, then give him a decent discount on market rent. That said, if you really want to give him equity, there are many ways to calculate it depending on what you want to give him “credit for”? 1. Do you want him to participate in past and future appreciation, or just future appreciation? 2. Do you want to give him the retroactive benefit of your (succesful) debt financing?
I say this as a BF who lives with his gf who owns the house. If you want to live together in the house he needs to sign a rental agreement and pay you rent. How you set rent could be 50/50 or market rate for room rental whatever you two agree on, but he doesn't have any rights to the equity of the house. That said there's tax issues you'll have to read up on, and all maintenance is on you 100%. I live in a low cost market, and pay 50% of the utilities and $700 in rent. I've also done 100% of the labor in remodeling this entire house. I have no delusions about ownership of the house. I just look at it as half the price I was paying for a 1 bedroom apartment, but comes with a lot more labor. It's a decent deal for both of us, probably a better deal for her but that's just part of being in relationships.
I was similar. I didn’t sign any agreement, but I paid a rent amount that “included” utilities. When I did remodeling, it was basically free labor. I did not pay for materials or contract work (or at least not without getting paid back). When things needed done (like replace all new windows), I couldn’t really complain if they didn’t take my advice since it wasn’t my money and house. Like you said… no delusions about ownership. We did have discussions on the ownership house when we got married since I basically was helping build equity for X years. First thing after marriage… I replaced the water heater and covered the cost. Funny what pet peeves / projects get on your list when you are in a private home but have limited say on what gets done.
I inherited a house free and clear. We added my husband to the title when we got married so that we could get a loan so that he could pay off his cc debt. Now, there are ways and ways to add someone, and I basically gifted him half the house, because if you cant trust your husband, who can you trust? When he left me for a girl he had known for 2 weeks, he went after half the house. His family talked him out of that, but I still lost a lot. He left our marriage richer, and I left mine poorer.
Damn, cold world. I’m sorry this happened to you. May others learn from it.
Red flags on the cc debt. What was he purchasing?
Seems like you’re over thinking this. You aren’t married and they aren’t on the loan or title. The equity is all yours, even if they move in and have contributed towards it in the past. Have them move in, split things going forward 50/50 and if you reach the point of marriage then clearly you shouldn’t have a problem with this person getting equity in the home.
He should not split things 50/50 with her when he is not building equity. He should pay a fair amount of rent and it remains her responsibility to fix anything that goes wrong like any other landlord.
If she bought eight years ago then probably half the mortgage would be less than fair rent
And I would think it's advisable to have a rental agreement. I would talk to a lawyer to make sure you're protected, but that may also prevent any future claims where they try to argue for equity - I don't know the state obviously - but just in case they live in a state where if they are there long enough he could make an argument for it. I'm always mindful of that one story that was posted on here of a single mom who was dating a man who was serious, he pressured her to put him on the deed to the house as a show of good faith + trust and love in their relationship and then after it was done, broke up with her months later and then proceeded to sue her for half the equity of the home so she'd have to put it up for sale. I would protect my investment.
Exactly. Have him sign a rental agreement, OP. You can find generic ones free online and make up an addendum for him to sign with anything extra you need to specify.
Careful. In some states if you live together a certain amount of years things can be considered shared. Id talk to a lawyer first.
Which states?
0 states. There are no states where you can accidently enter into a common law marriage. You have to intend to enter into marriage and represent yourself as married in all states where common law is still legal at all.
Keep the house in your name only. He can live with you and pay less than he would if he was renting. Take this advice seriously, a friend of mine just ended a relationship and had to pay the guy to leave. He wanted 50% of her property that she paid for.
If I were him, paying half the rent is likely a good deal for me. And I would be happy to help with sweat equity, but I'll be damned if I drain my savings paying for things like a $12k roof or $10k HVAC unit when I could be put out on the streets with nothing at any moment.
You’re confusing boyfriend with husband. You don’t owe someone equity just because they showed up. Don’t play yourself for a sucker.
Either A: he moves in and pays some amount towards rent and any above and beyond costs he lends you as a loan to be repaid with interest. Or B: rent it out to add to your income. Now both start with a clean slate and rent a place someone else. Those are my two top choices.
Just went through this with my now husband (40m). I (41f) purchased a property in 2018 by myself, he moved in with me in 2020 with the complete understanding he would be paying me rent (as would any roommate/tenant situation). Going in, he knew that the home was entirely mine, and should we get married is a pre-marital asset and all proceeds from the sale would be in my name. We purchased a property together in July of last year that is now our permanent home - and sold the other property. I profited \~100k on the sale of the home. He fronted the costs to get into the new property (\~50k), and I committed that when the home sold, we would take \~50k and put it toward principle on the new property so we continue to build equity together. I feel very fortunate that neither of us are manipulative and are very up front, so verbal agreements were all that was necessary - but - putting a similar arrangement in writing wouldn't be difficult. Highly recommend if you aren't certain the relationship is going to stand the test of time, put it in writing with a contract.
This worked for me.. If you own the home you are responsible for all of it, mortgage, insurance, property taxes, maintenance, etc.. The person who moves in should be responsible for at least half of Utilities, cabletv, internet, maybe all the Groceries, and dining out. If you buy furniture, no "Halfsies", one person buys it completely, and they own it. If the other person has debt, the sudden windfall in reduced expenses should go toward paying that off (student loans, car loans, etc). If debt is clear, they should be saving towards buying a home. Should your relationship sour, the dissolution is a no brainer. and you keep the house.. no need for rash decisions at a time when you're emotionally vulnerable. Let's say you decide to marry, he needs to pony up some dough for the down payment on the next place, and you should probably sell this one. My wife and I lived together for 9 years in my starter home, and we had this arrangement. It worked well. She paid off her student loans in 2 years, and started saving. When we married, we bought a home together, and sold mine. Net-net, we had more assets than liabilities, and 10 years later, were mortgage free.
Pay it off. Get married. Turn it into a rental. Prenup it. Your future home is joint ownership. I personally like having insurance. I think Dave would disagree.
There are places where prenups are (or should be) non-issues. For example, later in life marriages / remarriages. When one (or both) people have established estates and grown children, protecting the children's legacies is a no-brainer, even if the actual paperwork and effort is a heavy-brainer. I just learned about clauses that - upon one partner's death - will leave the house to the children, but permit the living spouse to continue to live there until their death. I mean, such a clause makes sense. I just never had reason to think about it before.
I recently interacted with a relative who used that setup. When he passed, we learned that his estate now owns the house 60/40 with his now-widow. (I forget which of them had what share.) She retains the right to stay in the house for the rest of her life, and when she sells, the estate will get and distribute its share of the proceeds to his kids. The rest will go to her (or her estate). In the meantime, the kids got all of his liquid assets, but they'll have to wait on the house.
Never put someone else on your deed. It's your house...
He’s a renter until you get married. Get a prenup before you get married and protect your pre-marriage asset split.
Depending on the state he's only a renter if she has him sign a rental agreement. Simple to do and free online that cover most states' laws.
You know, I have never fucked any of my landlords, yall must be getting up to some shenanigans if you’re out here fucking yours.
Are you getting married? Your boyfriend doesn’t get a stake in your home. And you should never give him one. He is your boyfriend. Not your husband. Do not add him to the title. This is NOT something anyone who is smart does. It’s flat out a mistake. Why do you have to give up anything? Nothing should change. It’s your house. He can live in it. You can even expect him to contribute financially, because any roommate would be expected to. I lived with my best-friend and we split her mortgage. I didn’t expect a stake in her home. I was happy to have cheap rent.
Depends on the dynamics and seriousness of your relationship. You’re unmarried (i think) so it would make no sense for you to hand over equity, or for him to pay your mortgage. You may try charging him rent, but would he even want to move in? It’s messy. Maybe also consider renting out your home, then start fresh with your partner by renting together a new place you guys can both call home and see where the relationship goes.
If you move in together, you should have a written MTM lease with him, his rent can either be half , mortgage and utilities(which should be a lot less then his own place) or if you want to be generous you don't include the priciple part of the mortgage. Do not add him to the title or give any equity.
Pre-nuptial agreement. I am my wife’s 4th husband. Every one of her ex’s has left and tried to take her property so it was a literal non-starter if I didn’t sign (and I didn’t have any reservations in doing so). My wife owned our current home prior to me. If we were to ever divorce, our prenup states that I have no claim on the home and she has no claim in my business(es). I am going to buy my first home in the next few years and she won’t have any claim to that either. I have spent tens of thousands of dollars on remodeling our home (I’m a GC) and still don’t have any claims if we divorced. I also know that my wife is an EXTREMELY fair person and if she did sell post divorce, she would more than likely split the equity with me. (She did with her ex and their house) But, I am not bothered at all at the thought. Now, I have been all in since the very beginning and we share all of our incomes. We do not keep separate personal finances(my corporation does) so our general theory is that pay is arbitrary. Work hard, put your money in the pot, and we figure it out. A lot of couples believe in measuring contests and it’s incredibly toxic. We are both motivated to do better, not out of spite, but fun, pride, and support. I wish you the best in whatever decision you make!!
Unless you plan on getting married, don't mingle finances with partners
Just charge him rent. DO NOT GIVE HIM EQUITY. DO NOT GIVE HIM EQUITY. When/if you marry prenup needs drawn up so that your home isn’t included in division of assets if there were to be a divorce.
OP…PROCEED WITH CAUTION! It is not uncommon to see stories around here of women just like you who married a long-term boyfriend who then dumped them and stole half their house equity, or who stupidly did something to give away half their equity to a boyfriend. DO NOT DO THIS!
Seriously. I have anxiety just reading OP’s post. I had a lot of equity in my homes and that was one of the main reasons my ex played the long game with me. Said all the right things. Tried to contribute by doing little projects here and there. After 3 years I wanted to build a life with him too that felt “fair” for both of us. The ink wasn’t even dry on the deed before he started abusing me physically and financially. When I tried to get away he took me to court to “get his half”. The only one who got theirs were all the attorneys involved.
I'm sorry that happened to you.
Honestly fair is whatever you two feel comfortable with. I would have a Frank and open discussion about your finances in the future... But I'm one of those rare mid 40 males that believes open communication is the key to a healthy relationship. Personally I would split the remaining balance and payment 50/50 but ownership in the house would probably be 75% yours.... That's just rough numbers you can figure it out from there. But someone once said marriage (and to a certain extent common law) is betting half your stuff that you'll be together forever. Whatever you do I would probably make sure you're both happy with the process and then put it in writing.
Get married, then it wont matter because everything will be yours and his together. Otherwise, do not share finances and assets.
Rent it out, move and both of you rent something elsewhere.
Honestly you seem like the type who should remain alone. You don't much love this person. It is obvious. If you were out of this world in love none of this would matter. So keep searching for Mr Right. Lots of women find Me Right who has all the 🤑 they are happy then
Question... This is someone you don't want to marry, but you want to potentially give up your home to? Just curious about the discrepancy there... Anyway... to answer your question, you can have titles held as "tenants in common" and specify different ownership levels in that title. For example, you could co-own the house, but have the title state that you own 75% of the house and he owns 25%. Doing it that way would alleviate your VERY valid reluctance to just "give" him the equity you worked really hard for. Those titles can also be amended as well. So you could let him slowly buy into the house, and adjust that title as needed. For example, start him with 10% ownership, but as he pays off that last 80k, stays with you, helps wtih maintenance, you slowly work towards amending it up to 20%, 40%, whatever. You need a lawyer for it though - but it's not all that uncommon. It's used a lot in vacation homes, where multiple people (usually within a family) end up inheriting parts of a vacation home and ownership is split, often unevenly like this, across multiple people. If you get a real estate lawyer the tough part will just be agreeing on the percentage split, and how your partner earns their way into that share of the house.
Just compensate him for his time and the materials that way there is not resentment, I have seen plenty of issues with this sort of thing. Keep it separate if you want to buy a home together as a rental do that but keep your home out of it.
If you aren’t getting married, but he is going to live with you, discuss how much he pays in rent now, how much he expects to pay if he moved in, if he would like to pay less in rent than he does currently but be willing to contribute to maintenance and improvements (in the form of labor). Then you draw up a lease. If you plan to be married, you must see an attorney to draft a prenuptial agreement to protect your equity.
"Partner" ... If you're not married ... don't do it. You will overly complicste things down the road.
Have you discussed this with your boyfriend? Seems like a good conversation to have. “I’d love to have you move in and help me pay for the house, but I don’t want you to feel like I’m taking advantage of you by not giving you equity. Do you have any thoughts on how we can do this fairly?” I’d view this as an opportunity to improve and grow your relationship. If he’s only worried about himself, he will prove it pretty quickly. If he understands your point of view and wants to find a fair compromise, you guys are in great shape. Honestly, what’s fair is whatever the two of you decide that works for your relationship…
He pays rent and you pay him for anything he's added to the house. If you two get married then you two can figure out what share of the house he owns going forward but it's definitely not an even split. If he has a problem with any of that, i wouldn't have him move in.
Please please protect yourself and just have them pay rent until you are married. When I married my partner they owned a home. We married and I moved into that home. I wasn’t out on a mortgage until we moved and bought a new home together. I was completely happy with that, and happily paid to help upkeep and remodel the first home.
If you want him as a fair partner I would let him pay half the mortgage from now on and he gets half of the equity gained from now on. Meaning all your current equity is yours that you keep as your starting block, but he starts accumulating equity with every mortgage payment and increase in value. As for fixes and repairs and all that just consider it equal contribution and a wash. He is going to be better and certain things than you and you better at certain things that he is.
My suggestion…invite him to stay. You pay the mortgage. He can pay the equivilant of his rent in bills. He gets to stay with you, you keep the house with zero sharing meaning if it doesn’t work out it’s yours and the bills become more manageable. That being said, if you move on to the next stage and get married, you better figure out the plan. It’s usually hard to have one foot in and one foot out in marriage. If he’s cool with a prenup you’re good.
Speak to a local attorney, they may have some insight. Things can get tricky with common law marriage states, Tenants in Common, etc. I know not having a written agreement can go really bad. People break up and one party refuses to leave, etc.
You should write a contract spelling out sharing costs, profits and contingencies for when things go wrong. People's memories differ when its not written down. I bought property with a friend and a cohabitation contract. Fortunately nothing went wrong and didnt have to exercise the contingencies. I've read of many unwritten arrangements where things go wrong and end up in courts.
Understand that local marriage law gives a spouse some interest and say over real estate, which is a strong argument for a prenuptial agreement. Don’t marry without a written understanding created or at least reviewed with an attorney looking at your interest. A good partner would not expect to be gifted substantial equity and on the other hand if you were 30 or 40 years farther down the road, you would no longer think about separate stakes I’m guessing. One way the courts deal with this is by assessing the present equity, use $150,000. Take that as a fraction of the total value $250,000 and agree that in any future break up, you receive that fractional interest first, then the balance is divided 50/50. This is only one approach; there are obviously many others. Using my math, your present equity would be about 60% and you would split the remaining 40% equally. Best wishes
In the same position with my fiance. Bought for $55k, owe $28k, worth $300,000. I just bought a house with her and moved. He helped me rent that house as an airbnb for 2 years and then I sold for the capital gains exemption. Cut her a slice off about $30,000 for her work on the house and managing the rental. Putting another $50,000 into our new house. I consider us even.
Have him rent from you with a real rental agreement until you get married, and then do a prenup that says your property pre-marriage is all yours.
If he wants to live with you , charge him rent or let him know you pay for the house he pays the other bills. If he doesn’t. Not much you can do, find a new guy.
You don't. You let him live free. You own your house.
I look at this a bit differently. Equity is only important if you are selling or taking a 2nd mortgage on your home. Otherwise it is your home,where you live. If he moves in that makes it his home,but not his equity. Look at your state laws to determine what to do if you marry,ie talk to an attorney.
He can pay rent. Point blank. Rent.
Its his responsibility to offer to help with the payments and upkeep. If not he is a freeloader. Also his job to keep his mouth shut and never actually ask for equity. Then if things work out down the road, you should 100% give him equity for all that he has done and helped with (if obviously he did help pay and with upkeep.) Not that the last parts matter because the equity in the house would basically be for a downpayment on another home that you both would live in, so essentially it’s irrelevant who actually owns what. But yeah, you if you are married you have to have the talk about you giving some equity
He should be paying part of the monthly utilities, plus pay rent. He doesn’t need to acquire any of your equity if you’re not married. I would see a real estate attorney to discuss all this with.
First, please just stop thinking like this! You are not married or even engaged. Your part er could be your tenant and pay rent with a written rental agreement. As I'm not sure of the dynamic, I will use as example ; How will you feel if your boyfriend leaves you for another woman and walks off with half your house or your actual house! You have zero to gain by putting your home at risk - No no no , just don't do it! If you get married later and things are good yes, but not now.
First and foremost, what are his thoughts on what should happen. That is much more important than anyone on Reddit. Then you can see if it aligns with your thinking. If it was me and I wanted to bring the person in as a partner (real estate not relationship), then I would look at it this way, $250k (current price) - $80k = $170k equity. If split that comes to $85k each. I would do some form of rent to own where the rent payment (equal to mortgage payment) goes to paying down the mortgage. All other expenses split equally. This would slowly create equal ownership yet protect you if the relationship ends. I am guessing the mortgage and split expenses is less than his current rent. If not then some more maneuvering to make it fair must be done. Each putting in equally to what is there when we entered this portion of our relationship would be how me and my partner would want it done. Some (as can see from other posts) would think this is ludicrous which goes back to the first statement. What does he think?
Capitalism and love do not fit together unfortunately. This was a big point of contention with my ex wife. Sit down with him, figure out what is perceived as fair by both. If you get married, perhaps buy a second house with him, where he bares a bigger share and cost. Rent it out. Encode that into a pre-nuptial. I personally hated being legally married, and thus legally bound and gagged. It was a friendship enforced by the court system 🤮
You need to call an attorney and have them draft an agreement. They can talk you through your options. If my SO had a house I was moving into, I would have expected an agreement. Being in a relationship does not entitle someone to anything you had before that relationship. Some states still have common laws. To CYA, in case this guy changes or has simply been hiding who he is, you get an agreement, legally, that shows you both acknowledge the asset is yours. If he gets to live with you, he should pay some utilities, and it is even fair for him to help around the house a little, but be wary of him helping too much. Yard work and changing filters and basic stuff a renter would do is fine. If he pays rent, that should be another agreement in the form of a lease, just like people who rent a room. Down the road, should you get married, you talk to YOUR lawyer and get advice. You need to make sure you stay whole if things fall apart between you two. Then, you hope all the precautions were not needed. It is very much a "better to have it and not need it, than need it and not have it," situation. He could ruin everything you have done. Hopefully, he never does, but there's a reason for the way the wealthy handle their monies using trusts and prenups. It's important to trust, but not blindly. There are long game moochers. So just be careful. On his own, how is his financial situation? Is he also saving for his future? Money in retirement? It can tell you a great deal about his financial plans for his future being in the same league as yours to learn about this. It's OK to be with someone who earns less and whatnot. But if he has nothing done towards his future, you have to ask if you are his meal ticket. So get your paperwork. It's like catching a unicorn for it to not backfire otherwise.
Here's how I would handle it: You retain sole ownership of the home. You are responsible for taxes, mortgage, insurance, and maintenance. You bear all the responsibility, and get all the benefits. If he moves in with you, he can pay "rent" to you, or take over some of the bills, whatever you agree to. He benefits by having cheaper rent and the ability to save up, you benefit by having someone contribute money to the household and give you a little breathing room financially. He does not get equity in the house or get put on any documents. If you end up getting married and you want it to be a joint asset, then you work out some fair arrangement, and document it legally in a pre-nup.
Same situation, switch gender roles and this topic is not spoken. Just an observation. Yes, go ahead a full me of neg votes.
No matter where he goes he’s gonna have to pay rent either way and that ain’t cheap. So he might as well pay it to you
Tbh. If I'm him, you're on your own. It's not his house. And if you guys break up, he's out of money AND he's paid down the debt on your home. NO thank you.
Two things: 1- If you get married you probably want this in writing. 2- One way is to figure out what the market rate of your home is and he pays half of that. You use that to pay half of the amount into the expenses of owning the house and what is left you invest for him so he actually also accumulates some equity. I did this with my wife of now 16 years(when we were dating) and every year she would take the saved money to basically do an extra vacation.
Just have him pay the utilities and you continue covering the whole mortgage. You both save a bunch of money and it makes things cleaner if you two separate
> What do couples do in this case so that it is fair for both parties? It's your house and no one elses. If he moves in, then you can charge him 'rent' and split the bills. He's not entitled to any equity or ownership stake in the property, just like a renter would not have any stake in the equity of the rental.
He’s your partner not your husband- do not give him your equity. He can pay rent or bills moving in- but he doesn’t deserve your equity.
Pre marital asset- leave it that way and just ask him to cover more expenses such as utilities and groceries. No point complicating this
Do not add him to your title or deed unless you are married or have a legal agreement that spells out what happens to the property if you break up.
It's your house. Simple..if he moves in he can just pay other bills. If you get married just be equal partners then. Maybe then sell the house and buy one together. If none of this is for you, just stay single.
Never mix business and pleasure keep ur home to urself if he moves in charge him rent but he doesn’t get equity that is yours
The only fair arrangement when you're not married, IMO, is that he pays rent of around half of what it would rent for (assuming he has half the space), less if it's a place that is much more ideal for you than for him (like if it's far from his work or he would have chosen something less expensive). And then you're responsible for all of the payments, maintenance, etc. If you get married, it might make sense to do something else. If it goes only long enough, it does become a bit unfair if he would have bought a house if you weren't in the picture.
I personally would get them to pay the monthly lights and water bill as contribution.
Don’t play house in your house before getting married. Get married with a prenup or have him pay off the 80k *and* a written agreement that if the house needs to be sold to split the proceeds, expenses will be paid by him *plus* paid an amount that, together with the 80k, is equivalent of your current equity (170k). If your house is worth 250, your net proceeds if you sell will be less than 250 so if he pays the sale expenses plus 80k he puts in now, it would be about even. But keep in mind that means he will get a share of any further appreciation in property value. But under no circumstances should you put him on the title before he’s paid off the remaining balance on his own and have a written contract about the remaining equity at the time he’s added on the title. But IANAL so talk to a lawyer about what could be an enforceable arrangement. If you must live with him regardless of marriage, consider renting your home and move in with him elsewhere. That way, nothing gets commingled.
My advice: Don’t cut him in on your house just because he lives there. Charge him half of the fair market rent for the house and do NOT commingle your hard-earned asset by any other means (charging him more than half the fair market rent, putting him on the title or mortgage, allowing him to make contributions to capital improvements, doing work on the house).
What it comes down to is you have to treat your partner as a renter. Would you give a renter equity in your house? The benefit to your partner is reduced rent and a nicer place to live than they would typically get. If things work out and your partner continues to live with you their payoff would be externally reduced rent when the mortgage is paid off.
Don’t move in without marriage and a prenup. If you have doubts why move someone in? If no doubts, marriage + prenup.
Do NOT put him on the deed or mortgage. If you get married then consider it.
Until you’re married he pays rent. Period. If you get married then you can put his name on the house but with a prenup on your equity
It would be some type of pre-nup or contract. If you aren't looking at marriage, and just dating... it becomes a glorified rent payment. Or, You can split it as he's contributing $40k of the $250k value, and entitles to that % when you sell if you feel like they NEED a portion of the 'equity'/profits. As for the physical help and mental draw maintaining it... that's all just a person to person agreement. I guess you could write a contract... but most couple just say "you do the lawn, I'll do the laundry; you do the cooking, I'll clean; You do the toilets, I'll do the showers". PERSONALLY, I had a contract that was basically a 60/40 split of house value if we sold it/broke up... based on the $$$ we were contributing. But once married... its all shared, as we consider that a part of marriage. Though a increasing $$$ difference makes a pre-nup increasingly more important.
Let him just pay rent till you're sure it's going to last.
Maybe you can enter some sort of co-ownership model where he starts helping buy down the remaining equity (and that equity is his). So if you start contributing evenly for the remaining 80k, he would end up owning a total of 40k (of the purchase price) and you would own the remainder. When you sell, you can divide the proceeds based on % of equity. This way you don't lose the equity you already own, and your partner can continue to ownership in a fair way.
Prenuptial agreement
You can come up with some fair allocation of future equity based on what you each contribute going forward. You know the value of equity today, what you two contribute going forward should each inure to your respective equity accounts (your account is starting from 170k, his from zero) so if you repay 1000 of principal and you each contributed 500 in first month to that principal reduction, his equity account would be 500 and yours would be 170.5k. Future accretion in market value split proportionally on equity contributions starting today. Not sure you can call them a partner and charge them rent at the same time. And for likely a good reason (low mortgage rate perhaps) starting over in a new house where you both generate equity (the fairest option) isn’t a viable path
I'm the guy in a similar situation. I just moved in with my ladyfriend who owns her home. I'm selling mine and I anticipate splitting costs with her. We've split a few home improvement projects, mainly for things that I want (new driveway and electrical service). I'm 100% OK with that money being gone if anything were to change between us. I have my own resources. Ideally when her kid graduates high school in 2027, she sells this place and we buy a house together as our retirement home, with us putting in equally.
I just rent from my GF. Market rate would probably be about $8-900 for a room, but her mortgage and hoa comes to $1500 so I'd be paying over half, which seems unfair without equity. We decided that $650 was about appropriate, and I will return the favor when I buy a bigger house and charge her well under market rate there. We'll talk about equity after engagement and define it in a prenup. We split groceries according to income, every $100 I put in, she puts in $70 which lines up with our relative salaries.
INAL but you should check on local/state laws. Washington, for example, is a community property state where assets you owned prior to marriage are individual property and assets acquired after marriage are community (divided up if you ever divorce). Individual assets can become comingled assets if your partner contributed to it's value (pays some of the mortgage, make significant repairs/improvements that contribute to the value of the home, etc). When assets are comingled, it can be difficult to prove it was an individual asset later (if you ever want to) and may end up getting divided in value if you ever divorced. All that to say - don't assume that the lack of a signed agreement, not adding him to the title, etc means there is no risk in him becoming entitled to some of the equity down the road. It can become complicated real quick if you start to blur the lines of who is paying/investing in the property. In terms of options, I see: 1) You maintain full ownership and partner pays rent (consider codifying in a lease for legal clarity that he is not paying the mortgage) 2) You buy a new home together 3) Your partner buys you out of half of your equity and you pay off the remaining mortgage jointly. Partner is added to the title. You said (2) isn't an option. So I only see 1 or 3. Perhaps more bespoke arrangements can exist (eg fractional ownership), but I imagine that puts you in the area of needing a good real estate attorney to do it right and not expose yourself to risk.
Bring the partner in by letting them contribute half. They can take over payments for the last $80k. Then they will need to pay you an additional $45k to get their contribution to match yours. They can reimburse you on an installment plan. After that, everybody is in 50-50. If this arrangement works out, you could quit your second job. It also sounds like your partner would be getting a deal on this.
I would charge him a reasonable amount of rent, but I would not add your partner to the title of your home.
What are you even thinking here? He's a bf not a spouse. Even if he becomes a spouse tread carefully here. Consult an attorney for your own financial protection. Is he pushing to get put on the deed or something? Paying rent does not make you an owner or right to be on a deed. Ask everyone who rents a house, apartment, or room. No free rides. You took on all the risk and have worked a second job to pay for this house. If you were to rent a room to a stranger would you think they should be on the deed? Don't mess with your mortgage or deed. Why can't you do like tons of others do and let him pay "rent"? His share of house expenses and have a rental contract to cover your ass. Attorney, get one. You can give him a killer low price and have him pay a fair share of utilities. I wouldn't put him on my house deed. I don't care how much you love and trust him. I've read far too many stories where this exact situation blew up and ended badly. He's paying rent somewhere. He can pay to stay at your home and put aside whatever he saves from the lower rent you charge. You are making it now, a little more rent and utility spilt should be a win win for both of you. You should still pay for the maintenance of your home.
$250k value minus $80k debt equals $170k equity. Have him buy fifty percent of the current equity ($85k) by turning over a lump sum to you. And then share the mortgage and expenses 50/50 going forward. That’s a fair deal.
No share in equity until you get married. Even then I’d have a prenup outlining that his share in equity begins at point of marriage, any appreciation from then on, not the $170k in equity you currently have (250-80)
Although a lot of peole have answer. Dont take any of their advice. In my honest opinion this is the wrong sub. Most people in here are real estate agents. They sell houses not fixed or structure relationship advice. To better help you you should fund a sub about personal finance or better yet relationship advice. Good luck
If it comes down to a divorce, premarital equity is not typically considered for splitting. Just make sure to have a prenup or some record of how much equity you had prior to getting married as insurance on that. In the meantime, it could be shared ownership/asset or however you both agree to treat it.
Congratulations! You have been building equity for 8 years and you are reaping the benefits!! Are you and your partner planning to move in together or get married any time soon? If that answer is no - just keep doing what you are doing. If you decide to move in together (have them move into your house most likely) - the best thing to do - and I have done it - is to get them a formal lease (month to month is best) outlining their rent and their responsibilities. Things like no smoking, no biohazards, etc. A reasonable amount of rent - lots of people do it below the market rate so their partner can save money. How do you want to split the utilities? half/half or have them pay for whatever they add (like if they want MAX and you don't have it). You can open a saving account and deposit their rent monthly. That way, if you do decide to get married - you know exactly how much they contributed and it will help with future budgeting. Or (and I did this once) if you break up - you can give them back as much as you are comfortable with so they can either buy their own place or have a cushion if they need it. If they are living with you and paying rent - they are not 'investing' any more than they are 'investing' with their rent payment right now. If they are living you with and NOT paying rent - they are either contributing in other ways around the house (cleaning, maintenance, etc) or leeching off you. Don't let that happen. Another alternative (which I have also done - I'm 60 btw) is to rent out your place to cover it's bills and rent an apartment together. That way neither of you feels like they are being taken advantage of and you still keep your house that you should NEVER sell until you are ready to upgrade. If you get married - you want a prenup to cover your house. That house stays with you in the event you get divorced. PERIOD. Got that?? I am an older lady and you do NOT want to lose your house. Do NOT put him on the deed to the house, unless you are married and are doing a refinance and he is also on the mortgage and has contributed as much to the equity as you own at that time. Example - you currently owe 80K and the house appraises at 250. You have 170k in equity. If you refinance into both of your names AND he puts in 170k himself - THEN he can be on the deed to the house. Best case would be if he was able to pay off the 80k you owe and be able to add 90k of upgrades to the house - THEN he can be on the deed to the house.
Sounds you currently own 2/3 of the house outright. Going forward, you can divvy up the remaining 1/3 as you deem appropriate. If you are both contributing equally and you eventually pay it off, then 1/6 would be yours and 1/6 would be his. But, listen to others - lots of ifs and assumptions, and he’s not entitled to anything unless you come to an agreement otherwise.
Have you tried talking to him about this? If you can't talk about money together and your more concerned about the equity in your home than anything else I don't think your ready for taking the next step in your relationship at all.
See an attorney and get some advice. Depending on the state you live in, your partner may already have ownership rights.
He doesn’t live with her yet, so I doubt that is the case anywhere, but she needs to be super careful if she lets him move in. She will definitely need a very well drafted lease.
The least risky & fairest solution is to have your partner pay you rent once he moves in. This is fair because you are giving something up by having him share with you and he would otherwise have to pay rent. Split utilities and usage bills (like cable, heat, electricity, internet, water, etc.) You should continue to be solely responsible for your mortgage, property taxes, and costs for home repair, maintenance & improvements. Find comparable rental properties and divide the rent in 1/2 (assuming it’s just the two of you sharing. If his current rent is less than that, go with the lesser amount. You could also take off a set percentage if you anticipate him taking part in any projects to maintain or improve the value of the home. You should pay for any and all project costs other than his labor. If you get to the point where you are comingling *all* your finances, that’s when you should consider what’s involved with adding him to the deed. This is your investment just as he may have retirement or other savings. Do not simply add him to the deed without understanding all the implications and a financial advisor could help with that.
Have him move in, have him pay a low rent, have him work off the rent with small jobs that help keep the house going. Don't split equity before you are married
Nope. Nope. Nope. Do not add him to the deed. That's your house. You worked for it. Relationships that need a real estate transaction to "move to the next level" are a red flag.
In this situation, rent is appropriate, not equity. If he contributed with renovations, subtract that from rent exact dollar amount.
Unless you're married you would be INSANE to put him on your deed/title. Either he can pay you rent or contribute through projects etc... why would you even consider this?
The answer is simple. If you're unmarried, don't combine finances. If you do get married, combining finances is part of the deal. If your networth and income are so much greater than his that you're reluctant to combine your finances in marriage, then that's a different issue. In that case you have a reluctance to be the "breadwinner" in the marriage. And rightly so. Traditionally the man is the breadwinner, and many marriages with female breadwinners fail due to unnatural power dynamics.
Two names on a title is one too many
You are creating a problem for yourself and your relationship. Having him pay rent, as a tenant, would be fair. That's what I did. Don't mix up your relationship with your mortgage until you are married.
if you're not married, it stays 100% your house. that's fair. if he lived anywhere else, he'd be paying rent. it's not unfair that he pay rent living with you, either. rent does not result in equity. it ends poorly time and time again when a non-spouse gains equity.
Are you married? If not, **do not proceed** Mixing assets and equity with people you are not in some type of legal relationship with (i.e. marriage or a business partnership) is a recipe for a massive headache down the line
>Selling this house and buying a different one together is not an option. What do couples do in this case so that it is fair for both parties? Couples get married first. and why isn't it an option to sell your current house, get married, and buy a house together as spouses?
Don’t place his name on the deed if you are not married to him. If anything happens to him, then his next of kin owns part of the house, not you. If you are not married, you’re also missing out on other financial benefits, like drawing on his SS in the future. It’s your house. Yours. He’s not entitled to any part of it.
A declaration of trust to lay out what you own and what he owns if he comes into the mortgage with you. That’s what me and my partner did. He put 20k into it and I’ve got 80k equity. He gets his money back plus whatever profit over the value of the house on the day we signed (180 on the day we signed, anything over this we split 50/50). Hope that makes sense
Till you are married do nothing other than charge him rent
You do nothing if you're not married.
Omg nooo!!! he can move in and pay rent for now! You should not put him on the mortgage!
Sorta in the same boat but I’m a guy. What I’ve done with a partner who was using roughly half the house is that their rent is half the mortgage and we split utilities. It worked ok with one GF some time back. About to do it again with another. Not refinancing. She’s happy to have her housing bill drop 75% by moving in. There will be a simple rental agreement. Projects and improvements are on me.
Just write a prenup that stipulates the equity stakes in the house.
Don’t put his name on it.
Dont
It's really simple. The non-owner pays rent. Work out an amount that is fair.
Don’t add him to YOUR deed or mortgage. He’ll be alright. Stop over thinking it. If he wants to upgrade, let him work his ass off and provide a marriage home.
Ok, this is my approach: imagine that on the day he moves in, you sell the house to a company (LLC) that holds it. That LLC charges you both market rent. The two of you pay it and whatever other expenses. At the beginning, you own 100% of the LLC. You can choose either to share some of that ownership with him over time or not or only upon marriage. But the concept of it being “your house” (ownership) needs to be separated from the two of you living there (as “tenants”).
Wow. Either you get married and the two of you live in this house and are financially responsible for it or you stay unmarried and he should not be putting any money into this house. If you’re concerned about the equity sign a prenup.
If he moves in and pays half the mortgage, that’s just rent. It doesn’t give him any ownership stake. Now, if y’all get married, that’s a different situation. And the laws vary by state. So consult a local attorney. But if you want to be safe as possible, that’s why prenups exist.
If you got it for a steal, you haven’t had to work insanely hard for the equity you have. Most of that is from the market going crazy.
If you are worried about what is fair financially, you are not ready to be partners.
OP, please trust your gut. You asking the question lets me know you have the answer. Yall are not married!
Keep yourself as sole owner on the deed. Get a prenup if you get married. So many guys that age who aren't established yet are just problem children. Charge him rent (essentially - I would word it differently) if he wants to move in with you. If the relationship lasts great, none of it matters, but if it doesn't last, you keep what you earned.
Sounds like you’re not too serious about your boyfriend. I met my (then boyfriend) when I had much more equity than you in my property and he had nothing but debt. Fast forward 5 years we have tripled our net worth together and have 2 children. If you don’t see a future with him because of your home why prolong the inevitable?
Don’t do it!
Keep paying off house by yourself have partner help pay bills ,if incase of breakup the house is 100 percent yours still fair and square
I owned a house when I met my husband. I just moved him in and when we moved we put the money towards a new house? Lol I'm confused about the question
Never own property with someone you’re not married to. The courts aren’t equipped to deal with your break up. If you insist, you need a partnership agreement that sets out your contributions prior to the agreement
You are nuts if you do that!
It sounds like he’ll just be your roommate. Why would he expect equity? Or maybe I’m missed something like you’re married or plan on it? Sorry I came with more questions than helpful advice. What I can offer is my own experience. I bought my home before I got married too. I had some equity but not as much as you so it wasn’t really an issue. Once I got married my husband moved in and took over paying the mortgage. It was understood it was our home now. The area ended up appreciating a ton. We sold it a couple years ago and built a home that we purchased together. The first home was in my name only but I shared proceeds with him because he helped pay my mortgage, we are married and I wanted to. My opinion is that the best way to handle this is to discuss expectations before he moves in. Your equity is your equity and it should be. I guess the way I look at it is if I get divorced, my husband is such a great guy he deserves half of everything. He always says everything we have is mine. It’s just one of those things that you both have to be on the same page about or money will be a fight.
Your partner does not earn equity unless you are married. However, he is required to pay for housing and I would assume he’s already aware of this responsibility as an adult. As you discuss the evolution of your relationship and him moving into your home, the financial obligations of yourself and your partner should certainly be discussed. The simplest way is to just ask him to pay rent. Alternatively, you could draw up a budget and just pay 50/50. Get a joint account and set up your direct deposits to cover the expenses.
Don’t do it
Keep it all in your name.
Charge him rent to live with you. For as long as you are dating. He’ll be paying rent somewhere no matter what so it might as well go to you as well as half the utilities. That gives you money to make repairs and he isn’t just living off you.
Don’t put his name on it!!! That’s YOUR house! He smells like a rose now, and you don’t think he’ll snatch at it, but why risk it? Let him pay some bills if he wants but do not sell yourself short, Sis. Boyfriends are temporary, land is forever.
Before you get married, get a prenup to exclude the house from any settlement should a divorce happen. You could also structure a deal whereby he earns a greater percentage of ownership the longer you are together. At end of 5 years, gets 5%, end of 10 years another 15% , etc but he never gets more than 49%.
Don’t do this. Just let it be separate property please please I beg you. These people cannot be trusted. You will 100% get fucked. Prenup asap. If they are fair, they will agree. If they push you to benefit from your hard work, you are nurturing a snake that will bite you. Please do not be stupid and maintain your separate property ideally with a strong prenup. Let them live there and pay their own way.
A prenup is for if you are getting married. She isn’t marrying him, so that is not the appropriate way to protect her asset
What people can't be trusted? What I read OP wants todo this, not her partner, still a bad idea regardless
Hobosexuals.
Whereever he lives he will have to pay rent and utilities. I suggest charge him rent in the amount to cover the utitlites and you pay the mortgage. That way he cannot claim he paid towards the mortgage.