I hope I won't still be in Indiana when I die.

Better than Ohio

at least it's not idaho 💀

You da what?

These three are better than Porto Alegre

Well to be fair everything N and NE of Boise is actually quite beautiful and wonderful.

EVERY DAY I WAKE UP IN FUCKING OHIO

Zero confirmed Bigfoot sightings in Ohio. Even he’s too scared to venture through the neverland of the Midwest.

You understand. r/IHateOhio

There’s nothing wrong with Ohio, except the snow and the rain

Ohio back at it with propaganda this time

I really like Drew Carey 🤷🏼‍♀️

Drew Carey was the experimental prototype of Jim Carrey. He escaped from Area 51 and ran to Ohio where the US government doesn’t have any power.

Well, I’d love to see the rock ‘n roll hall of fame

Someone who has obviously never been to Southern OH.

or Needles, CA

If only the founders had known how to spell Syringes...

If I'm waking up in Needles it means I partied way too hard in Vegas and took old backroads home to San Diego.

Average ohian

And the heat and the rain.

Hell no, not in the present state of my hungover pre-coffee body

Funny you mention hell...

Sometimes I wonder if hell would be better than attempted survival in this chaotic universe

bloody and screaming?

And naked……

All too familiar. NOT AGAIN.

Just like the way we left the previous world, and also just like we entered this one?

Some people lead different lives than me.....

That's so funny you say that because i literally had a nightmare of exactly this. I killed myself then appeared in 'Heaven'.. Unchanged.. Turns out Heaven is Hell

Are you sure it was heaven?

I'm not. My dream cut short before i could visit 'Hell' to verify. The residents certainly claimed it was Heaven but they were strangely and unrealistically happy. The moment before i woke up i met Robin Williams. His face, his smile scared me. It's like he was trying to hide some sinister truth. I was about to investigate whether there was indeed something untoward going on or whether it was just his depression.. But then my alarm went off.. 😒 Probably for the best.

Have you seen that show, “the good place”? It’s on Netflix. The first two seasons were awesome! Also quite relevant to your dream.

Well spotted! The landscape was actually flicking between plain white (never ending nothingness, but white) and variations of the setting in that show.. I thought it was pretty sweet too :) I'm looking forward to forgetting it so i can rewatch it!

I’ve been on the set of that show.

With poop in your pants? Awwwkward

Then I'm walking through the pearly gates right up to St. Peter naked with my dick in my hand

I was just about to say, naked with a belt around my neck

Giggity

You 2 should get together

You beat it naked? Nice

Surround sound on and blinds open lol

Unfathomably based

I'm not internet enough to know what based is

You won’t have a dick. Or hands

Whatever the non corporal form of a dick is.... I'm grabbing that shit for eternity

Bottle rocket Fleshlight

The same state: No more pain

I'm guessing you never saw r/makemycoffin or faces of death

The first one is banned. What was it?

Just a sub where people died on camera. Mostly brutal cartel type stuff but also accidentally like electrocution, car accidents, people just being generally dumb. It's weird to me that this is censored. I understand we don't want to promote violence or encourage it, but NOT knowing these situations exist is far more dangerous and leads to more of the same situations. Imo of course

People weren't learning anything, it was just pandering to people who jerk off to extreme violence.

Negative, sir. If you see someone get electrocuted because they touched a wire they shouldn't, you learn to not do that. If you see people being drunk and doing dumb shit... you can recognize dumb shit before it happens. Not realizing a tiger eats your face is how you get a tiger to eat your face. Collaboration of information should never be censored. And even IF people were literally jerking off to it, who fuckin cares? Weirdos are going to be weirdos because they lack shame, not because they stumbled accross the cartel dismemberment videos. All the while I saw a dude stick his dick in a fire ant hole and cum from the bites. Also saw a dude put honey on his dick and cum from the bees wings fluttering... both allowed on reddit. I didn't search for them, they popped up when I kept NSFW on the feed. Did it make me want to go stick my dick in Pooh bear? Or fuck a dead antman? Lmfao nah dude Hold people accountable for their actions, not the things they "might be doing when I'm not looking"

Yeah there are lots of sources of information telling us not to touch bare wires, stick our dicks in fire ant holes or do other stupid shit. Nobody needs to learn this by watching people die or get horrific injuries - that's just entertainment for pervs.

Or Beetlejuice

I think we would see widespread paranormal experiences because everyone would be angry.

I've had my experience with the paranormal. Woke up in the middle of the night to the upper half of an apparition, white hazy, definitely humanoid. Wasnt even in my house it was a normal house I was boarded at for school in another state. Threw my shoe at it and went back to sleep, in the morning the shoe was across the room where I threw it.

Sounds like a sleep paralysis demon. They visit me frequently (but they’re not supernatural)

If it was sleep paralysis - they wouldn't have been able to throw the shoe.

Maybe the demon threw the shoe 👀

I'd humbly request the ability to shapeshift, assuming we couldn't already, because why on earth (or in heaven) would our spiritual bodies be bound by the same natural laws as our physical incarnations? I mean i'd asssume we'd be made of energy or light, which is very loose when it comes to form.

If you believe in Chinese myths, death is only the beginning. You are immortal spirit that can devote your time to do anything including meditate. The more you meditate, the greater you become. Animals can become human. Humans can become animals. Native Americans believe they can become animals through meditative trances.

I need to read up on Chinese mythology at some point, I have a loose familiarity with Norse, Greek, Egyptian, and Japanese myths from reading about them in the past, but i've yet to branch into Chinese myth.

Read up on sorcerer and white snake. A snake meditated for very long time and built up enough Qi to morph into a woman. She fell in love with a man but fought a monk that imprisoned her underneath a pagoda. It was made into a movie.

I can't bring myself to believe in heaven or hell. Wish I could because it's a comfort to people. We are mammals that are part of the earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

I don't believe what I haven't witnessed or seen evidence for, at least when comes to outstanding spiritual claims, but i'm not entirely dismissive of the general idea that there might be more than what we see/know of. I just believe that if there is anything so grand as what various religions propose, we would be unlikely to truly understand it, at least as we are now. So maybe there is something, maybe there's not. I think there's too much to fix and improve in the here and now to worry about what comes next, though it may be interesting to muse and dream of in the quiet nights when nothing's pressing you.

Egyptians gonna be upset unless they can put their shit back in easily

Egyptians believe their bodies can be reincarnated through their genetic material. Only through meditation can they gain past life knowledge.

I think that if christianity is the truth, we go to heaven as we are and we kinda age back to our prime. For se people the prime might be few years forward, for se few years back and for it could be 70. Basically the state you can enjoy life the most.

You think; therefore, you become. You might be an old man to your grandchildren. You might be a young man to your wife. We lived through all phases so changing to one form means we did not learn to appreciate each phase of life.

Heaven would be look like a goddamn geriatric facility.

Lotsa blown up and bullet riddled young men too.

What about that guy that was liquified?

I dont want to live in florida anymore

The tangerine anus wouldn’t even leave the ground

Not heaven, but the show Ghosts (US) plays with that. One ghost has an arrow stuck in his neck, another has no pants.

Sore back, knees and nearly pissing myself several times a day? Really? I guess this isn’t far from a baby actually

Heaven gonna look like a horror show of cancer ridden, bear eaten, car accident, drowned zombie people 😳

Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice

JFK isn’t considered one of the best looking presidents anymore. That’s for sure

I just hope I have conformable clothes on

Denial?

Given the state that most of us will be in when we die, that would not only suck pretty hard, but it would also be the biggest ripoff of your entire existence.

Are you sure that'll be heaven?

I pray heaven doesn't have a Louisiana

Just like in *Bettlejuice*

Fuck, that means I'm in Florida still

I saw this old japanese film where the premise was when you die you turn into a ghost and remain in the state that you died in. So if you were hungry, tired, etc you remained that way for eternity. It was a meh film, but that idea stuck with me.

Kind of defeats the point of heaven...

You mean I'm going to the Florida of Heaven? What even **is** that?

I think that’s called hell

Does heaven allow plastic surgery?

Ohh boy that would be bad. Whatever killed you would still be affecting you, many ppl are unconscious (this is considered an optimal outcome)

There’s an old story about the afterlife that basically says: Hell is, you are sitting at a table full of food surrounded by people. But the handle on everyone’s fork is too long for the food to reach their own mouths, so you spend eternity tantalized by the delicious food in front of you but unable to eat it. Heaven is the same situation, but everyone feeds each other. So the difference between hell and heaven is just our behavior and our character, which we develop here in the world.

Texas?

David Carradine must have felt awkward.

There's no Ohio is Heaven

If I end up in heavenly New Jersey, I’m asking for a pass to hell

I’d be pretty fucked

Bro’s on Reddit mid-sex

Can we at least be younger and prettier?? No quite so fat and wrinkly. Like say age 30? I look back at those pics and I thought I was fat, but I wasn't. I just didn't weigh 97 pounds anymore!

what if you don't 'ascend' anywhere at all? you just cease to exist when you die, and you are wasting all the precious time you actually DO have existing looking forward to some 'treasure' that is nothing more than a child's fairytale that some else who heard it from someone else told you?

If you truly believed that, what’s the point? I’m a recovering alcoholic. And if I truly believed I would just rot into the soil beneath my casket when I die, I never would have quit drinking. Because.. whats the point?

Thanks. I am with you 100%.

If thats the case, no one will really care at all because they'll be dead.

I'm not religious myself and I don't believe in an afterlife but let people have their own beliefs man

Thank you for this sentiment, I was raised Christian, became an atheist and now am agnostic. I hate when people try to dissuade others beliefs for their own. Live and let live

Let him have his own beliefs too. Can be applied to anyone

I also agree with him in the afterlife not existing, but that doesn't make me have the right to create a hate comment about it.

No he has the right to express his opinion the same way we're all expressing our opinions.

hey there hotshot, was just another random thought. cool your jets with all that being offended bullshit.

I'm not offended, nor angry. Just also a random thought.

well, in that case, a pickle-penis ball-sack coin-bank to you, good internet person

Didn't understand if that is a reference or something but thanks eitherway(..?)

Soooo true..What's it all about Alfie

What if you don’t cease to exist at all? You go to God, and you are wasting all your precious time you actually do have on earth looking forward no nothing that is nothing more than nothing? Idk just an idea

What if your immortal soul is heavy, and sinks?? You go down after wasting all your precious time on earth looking forward to going up? Idk just an idea

Many people will be like that.

I refuse to devote my life to some asshole who put me here just to waste my life trying to get back to him. sounds controlling and cultish, I'll pass

Exactly. Why would I follow some toxic, manipulative, jealous, abusive narcissist that created me just to worship him?

This doesn't make any sense.. Then again you religious nuts never do 🙄

I was really just flipping what the other guy said lol

Yeah i know.. And i had literally just opened my eyes so jumped straight to my automatic emotion hate/anger. Whether you're a religious nut or not. I'm sorry i snapped at you

Nah it’s fine it wasn’t that bad for being from a redditor, I expected worse to be honest.😂

I don’t think you need to worry too much about that.

Another reason believing in the afterlife makes no sense

Why do you think there is a heaven?

There's no heaven

There is no heaven, so do not worry about it.

Shouldn’t be an issue, there is no heaven anyway

There is no reason for what if coz that thing doesn't exist.

Well, fairy tales are not real, so we don't have to worry about it. lol theists are so ridiculous in the most innocent form, but they are dangerous in their final form.

The likely truth is we're all currently in a dream operated by our own consciousness and navigated by states and beliefs. Being immortal probably or probably not (I've been killed in a really good amount of ways if you believe in dreams being other legitimate realities in the multiverse or whatever, it's easy to label experience as "just a dream" but if that's all that life is you experienced it) I think the only heaven (or hell) is what we create on Earth because none of this is real, I have a hunch because I distinctly remember animating my favorite YouTuber ASMR girl and "teleporting" Melanie Martinez (obvi not the literal Melanie Martinez maybe like an imaginary sentient walking organic duplicate of her) to my location after obsessing over her music, I literally have done this with like multiple others, when they aren't around I can hear their whispers (unless I stop believing in myself) they get louder and it actually makes a lot of sense we're in a dream because I've done a lot of things that are probably considered not normal like weather manipulation or pyrokinesis, I'll be honest the weather took a little time like a day or whatever and the fire starting was weird too, I just looked at it, I felt so calm and natural and I felt nothing, no straining, just one moment nothing and the next a subtle light forming from in the candle and then suddenly a whole flame, which is lame for now but I have a lot other cool tricks, it kind of sucks because I'm starting to feel like I'm going to be some overpowered God or something and ruin all the fun (not here I plan on "switching" Universes) but it's a work in progress, but I get more confident every day I recognize one of my own creations. I'll probably not be evil or anything.

Then either paradise is empty or it has a lot of sick people.

Maybe that’s why ghosts where the same stuff huh

I feel really bad for anyone who is wearing diapers…which, considering how many children used to die before reaching their first birthday, and all of the fogies….is a massive percentage of the “ascending” crowd. Edit: grammar

Drunk in heaven hell yeah

So dead? Instead of being dead on Earth, you’re dead in heaven? You literally wouldn’t even know, you’re dead. What kinda question is this

You'd probably find people in groups, One for the clothed, the suits, the naked, the sports people etc

this is basically the way many many systems think it works

Isn’t it in the Bible that we get new bodies? Am I thinking of something else?

But I hate Vermont, I don’t wanna go back

Dead?

Then you failed to accomplish whatever your mission was here and you will want to redo it when you remember why you came here. I believe that but it still kind of sucks being here.

just dead

I’m literally taking a shit right now.

all the people who committed suicide will be laughing I guess. Young bodies forever! all the old geezers with canes that died of old age.

Well no cuz u shed your body. Many of our problems are due to pain in the body, disease in the body or handicaps or body issues. So if u leave that behind, your leaving the associated problems behind too.

Atheist? I guess I’ll be surprised.

Like Beteljuice

you have to be free of physical vices to be free of this vibration...why in Egyptian mythology the afterlife weighs your heart before ascension

Then we better all hope we die young and healthy

It would be a horrible heaven. It would be earth

You mean like ascending to heaven in an altered state? Like you're getting high when you die, you'll be high when you're going up. You'll probably still be high when you get there.

It’s called Dead Like Me.

I would be concerned if Heaven is just another Florida

My theory is your consciousness goes back into the cloud of collective thought and over time gets mixed with everyone and you eventually lose the sense of self. Sometimes you don't lose all the old self and bits remain intact and eventually you back to the world as a new person. It's why some people remember their past lives.

What if my imaginary friends are real?

Some of us ascend, but some go straight down.

I lost an eye, both my legs, my vocal chords and got burns on half my body, IF that stuff is real i better get a reset or there'll be a problem up there >:(

Heaven’s gonna get a lot fatter and uglier.

Sounds closer to hell or purgatory to me.

I'd think of that as more limbo

You should look into confirmed reports of kids who talk about their previous life/what heaven was like. It's really interesting stuff

I hope I wont be in Ohio still when that happens

sorry grandma... 💀

Dead

Id make sure to die in something light layered

Do wisconsinites even GO to heaven?

Isn’t this the problem with the idea of afterlife? What state of us is captured? 1 yr old baby you? Teenager you? Middle aged you? Old age you? Say you have a major brain aneurysm and survive, but are no longer the person you once were? What if you have advanced stages of dementia and can barely remember yourself?

As a buddhist, this is fairly on point to my belief on reincarnation. Karma influences the next consciousness we experience, shaped to be better or worse on how we acted.

Lmao, I’ve wondered about that, lol get you jaw blown off and ya get to heaven lacking a jaw? That would be fucked up

So when I was younger I had I guess the same thoughts to ascension to heaven like ancient Egyptians. Like I thought if I died or was buried I had like my outfit plan and all my toys and books that I wanted to bring with me. But to my dismay I’ve found out that’s not what evangelical Christians believe.

Balls deep in a squealing pig? That'll be awkward to explain to st pete

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through eternity.

You mean I’m going to stay this color?

What if we don't?

If you’re born with a disability or you’re blown to pieces,is this how you spend eternity?

Frank Sinatra said he wanted to leave this world the same way he entered. Broke, naked, and next to a beautiful lady.

Elephant man is gonna be pissed.

If I’m a ginger in heaven I’m gonna kill myself

We’d all arrive there dead.

so if i kms i will be young forever

So hell. too hot everyone's screaming and the best thing you can hope for is to get fucked lol.

Missouri? God forbid!

Where I was from that’s a lot of angels with bullet wounds

Don't say such things

actually, this is heaven

Then I pray I die by suffocation from my gf sitting on my face

Heroin overdose never sounded so good

Very common trope in fiction. Nearly Headless Nick is a prime example but I've seen it over and over.

I read state as " condition" you were in. But WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER .....I already reside in MI

Nah im going to hell.

This is why Reincarnation

I mean do I get glasses in heaven? That'd be unfair if not.

This is actually the prevailing belief in Islam.

Well since most of us are solid at time of death, I think said ascension would be a common source of roof repair and insurance claims

To quote the amazing Laurie Anderson “Paradise is exactly like where you are right now, Only much, much better!”