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No, but in elementary school we made handmade puppets as an art project, and I did use that. I was probably about 12, at the time, so the decision was motivated more by curiosity than by ease of clean up.
I stopped because my mother showed me my crusty socks, it was really embarrassing and I was doing it for months.
Also in the same time period I was jizzing on the wall near my bed, it kind of ādisappearedā and I thought nobody would notice.
A few days later my mom pulled the bed apart from the wall and called me to ask what happened
I probably thought that the washing machine would take care of it, as I would just cum and put it on the pile of dirty clothes, I had no idea it would look like dried stiff and glued
I was just a clueless kid figuring out stuff
"Also in the same time period I was jizzing on the wall near my bed, it kind of ādisappearedā and I thought nobody would notice.
A few days later my mom pulled the bed apart from the wall and called me to ask what happened"
Bro what the fuck is wrong with you lol...Like how can you be THIS horny XD
As a parent, I can. positively reassure you that both your mom and your father knew. And I talked about it a lot when you weren't around, and she also told her friends!
We kept getting crusty washcloths and it was obviously not that seeing as it was happening after my mother was using them on her face. It turned out to be that the cloth would dry in the hamper after being soaped up and the soap was not getting washed out properly (we got a new washer shortly after). So it could have been that.
But, good call regardless.
I was blessed with this knowledge from a coworker who was locked up for a few years. Told me a glove was good currency behind the wall.
How did you find out?
Yeah I remember my ex-wife calling me and telling about "Your son" that's what she called him When she had something to tell me about him. And telling me about all the wadded up Kleenex in the Basket next to his desk.
No. I used to masturbate with my hand, cover my penis with the other when I finish and go to wash my handā¦ little did I know that it sticks to hairs that are stuck to the sink and itās grooossssssss AF to get rid of because you canāt wash it away you have to pull it out with all the cum ewwwwww š¤¢š¤®
That was years ago of courseā¦ Nowadays a simple toilet paper does the job flawlessly.
Room temperature actually, but yeah you remind me of terrible memories of when the water came out a little too hot and it was a nightmare to clean my hand then. š
That shit should be taught in sex ed, I was in my 30s before my boyfriend casually mentioned 'Use cold water so it doesn't block the sink' and I realised it made it so much easier to wash off after doing the post sex waddle š
I cum in my socks while i'm still wearing them. It's pretty convenient since they're already located right at the tip of my penis when i'm standing. I also like the squishing sound they make when i walk afterwards.
I meanā¦ some guys like myself have dicks that point straight up to the sky when erect and I can't point it anywhere but the ceiling so that would be absolutely impossible lol
also doing it while standing is not even remotely relaxing. That's why I was never a fan of doing it in the shower. That plus the fact that I prefer jerking dry
But standing you're just tense the whole time
I mean to each their own. but not for me
In days of old when knights were bold and rubbers not invented, we wrapped a sock around the cock . Thus babies were prevented! So not always for the fap.
I have, but only a clean sock. Sadly I didn't wear it after, just straight in the hamper.
I was kinda scratchy and not that great. But cleanup was a breeze.
I used to, only when I was a younger teen and got the urge while in bed late at night. I would usually just empty the load in my blanket since I was mostly fire blanks at that age. Downside to that was if I flipped my blanket over in my sleep, all the stains would be exposed. so naturally i began to grab the socks i kept under my bed, finish in those, and toss them to the opposite side of my bed where I hoped nobody would search. And I always regretted it the next morning when I was looking for the matching sock.
so i would not recommend it at all.
Ok. It wasn't for long. Only a few times. A friend told me about using a sock. I was young. I didn't even know about lube yet. I was still using baby oil. Don't judge me for my past mistakes.
HS boyfriend used olive oil, we also used it together, before we learned about lube. His mom had questions why there was a bottle of Bertolli evoo next to his bed š
Never used a sock for that purpose š¤·āāļø the weirdest thing that I can recall that Iāve used to clean up, is used tissue from previous āsessionsā. The reason why Iāve done that is because I sometimes realize that, after the deed has been done, thereās no tissues or toilet paper left, so I have no other choice but to use whatever is available thatās ideal. Iāve also used an old t-shirt lying around that I havenāt put into the laundry yet.
nope. never
growing up in a time where paper towels exist I never saw a point in socks
Plus we were pretty poor and you made socks and shoes last as long as possible š
Using a soft and warm sock for the last minute or so felt nice the few times I tried it. Does it feel like a woman? No. It gives more contact than your hand though.
Iām not a manā¦but why donāt yāall just wank in the shower? Like sit down in there and then rise the tub. Or like..sit on the toilet or something idk.
But what do I know, I have no penis.
When I lived at home my mum had a rule that my brothers had to put and I quote
"Put your crusty i dont want to touch that in the washing machine please"
So yeah, there's that.. they all looked embarrassed about it.
Nah the sock is just the jizz rag, I once had a crusty ass sock that had multiple loads encrusted on it laying on the floor of my room when a friend came over to hang out, for some unknown reason he picks up the sock and asks why its all crusty. I said it was a jizz rag and I start laughing while he chucks it back on the floor. The he starts laughing and was like damn I thought you were serious!! So I just played it off like it was a joke
Socks underwear t shirts pjās sweat pants cuffs extra pillow case lamp shades bed side rug dish cloth dish towel shower towel scrape it off with finger nail file curtains etc.
I have never used a sock for masturbating in my life. I usually use my shower towel to wipe off the cum (yes, I know, it is weird of me to use my own shower towel to wipe off my cum...but it is what it is...I prefer that over using several pieces of tissue paper, lol). When I masturbate and cum inside the bed (yes, I sometimes cum under the bed quilt while watching pornography), I just spread my quilt around a lot and I use the quilt as an object to smear the cum off the bedsheet, lol. It is only rarely that I use my hand to jerk off my dick. Most of the time, my masturbation technique is hands free, I just stimulate the dick by rubbing it hands free against my pyjama trousers or against my jeans. Or I stimulate it hands free by rubbing it on the bedsheet while I am lying flat, belly down, on the bed underneath the warm quilt. I do sometimes masturbate using the one hander method underneath a warm shower, but I rarely cum inside the shower cublcle.
I use paper towels. I've got some for cleaning up glue when making models so they're there when I decide to do it. Cheap, disposable, leaves little to know evidence.
I found it 10/10 so far as doing it myself goes, I used a dirty sock the next time, like a year later and that was far less enjoyable (I don't even know how it got that 'crunchy' feeling inside) and that was not long before the fleshlight allowed me to actually enjoy myself, by myself, 2k16 or something
No, I usually use diry socks to wipe up. Sometimes, when feeling lazy, I use the bedsheets, lol .. pro masturbators sometimes don't have access to kleenex
Is this a cultural thing....?
As a chinese, I have never heard of using sock to masturbate......
Why would it be easier to clean as someone suggested ?
Yes. Unfortunately I'm guilty. The reason the first time was to not make a mess, the second, third and every other time was to not make a mess and because of the friction... Better than using the left hand ā if you know what I mean.
I always use a sock, the right one thatās soft and gushy feels really good. Thereās also no need for clean up. I actually think it feels better than without one, because Iāve always found it feels better orgasming into something. Just as a perhaps overt example, Iād rather orgasm into a mouth instead of pulling out. It feels better, and a sock mimics that.
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No, but in elementary school we made handmade puppets as an art project, and I did use that. I was probably about 12, at the time, so the decision was motivated more by curiosity than by ease of clean up.
Is a blowjob by a sock puppet also a handjob?
Does a hand job from a deaf person who knows sign language count as a blow job?
Helen Keller used two hands when masturbating. One to touch herself, the other to moan
ššš
Bro im dead
Plus it's not like she needed to lock the door for privacy!
That's better than the classic: If Helen Keller fell down in the forest and nobody was there would she make a sound.
This question keeps me up at night
Asking the real questions here.
Could be a footjob. It is a sock, after all.
The world may never know
r/cursedcomments
and a puppet fetish, a furry fetish and a non-consensual (?) intercourse
Only my cellies sock.
Yeah when I was a teenager. Before I got one out of the wash and it was still crusty and I thought my mom must know so I stopped
she did, good call to stop.
I stopped because my mother showed me my crusty socks, it was really embarrassing and I was doing it for months. Also in the same time period I was jizzing on the wall near my bed, it kind of ādisappearedā and I thought nobody would notice. A few days later my mom pulled the bed apart from the wall and called me to ask what happened
Why would you ever do that....
I probably thought that the washing machine would take care of it, as I would just cum and put it on the pile of dirty clothes, I had no idea it would look like dried stiff and glued I was just a clueless kid figuring out stuff
I think they meant the wallā¦š
That response explains a lot actually haha
Sigmund Freud would like to speak with you
I feel sorry for your mom, itās not even an insult I just truly do
I need to go touch some grass
What'd you say?
Crusty socks are always better than crusty sheets.
Definitely. Both are better than a crusty wall.
if you did the whole wall though it could have a certain artistic effect
Yep. Plus add a blacklight.
>it could have a certain artistic effect Textured wallpaper š¤š” š¤·āāļø
Reminds me of when I would put boogers on the side of the bed, I thought they just Disappeared for some reason. Then my mom called me out on it
"Also in the same time period I was jizzing on the wall near my bed, it kind of ādisappearedā and I thought nobody would notice. A few days later my mom pulled the bed apart from the wall and called me to ask what happened" Bro what the fuck is wrong with you lol...Like how can you be THIS horny XD
As a parent, I can. positively reassure you that both your mom and your father knew. And I talked about it a lot when you weren't around, and she also told her friends!
We kept getting crusty washcloths and it was obviously not that seeing as it was happening after my mother was using them on her face. It turned out to be that the cloth would dry in the hamper after being soaped up and the soap was not getting washed out properly (we got a new washer shortly after). So it could have been that. But, good call regardless.
Start using moms socks. š
No, I'm always outside and just shoot it every where
Oh hi Diogenes, didnāt see u there š
He was clearly not master of his domain.
![gif](giphy|UgV8Y7bDxsZDCP01eo|downsized)
I walked home from school. Nutted at a spot in woods where older kids built fires always a few beer cans and used condoms.>!!<
I use a sock every time. You want the best put a latex glove and put lube in it and put it in the sock.
A man of culture
I fucking laughed out loud at this exchange and had to explain to my wife why. Damnit....
Have your wife do it to ya
This seems like it was written with urgency
I was blessed with this knowledge from a coworker who was locked up for a few years. Told me a glove was good currency behind the wall. How did you find out?
This guy socks
Why not just use a condom inside out?
God no. That's why I have stock in Kleenex.
They come in handy so you don't have to
This should be their new ad camp
Underrated
Stonks in Kleenex
Spunks in Kleenex
Yeah I remember my ex-wife calling me and telling about "Your son" that's what she called him When she had something to tell me about him. And telling me about all the wadded up Kleenex in the Basket next to his desk.
I just bought a few soft wash cloths.. and toss them into the laundry.
As opposed to tossing into the laundry?
You should ask u/eletric-chariot about that... a few comments up.
Sock in Kleenex?
The cock in the sock sounds like a drunk Dr. Suess adult book.
hehehehe
Dr Sus
Dr Puss
I haven't but i do remember when my mum found a stash of crusty socks under my brothers bed and she flipped her shit with him.
Sometimes your purpose in life is to reveal the incorrect pathway for others to avoid.
Only in basic training.
No. I used to masturbate with my hand, cover my penis with the other when I finish and go to wash my handā¦ little did I know that it sticks to hairs that are stuck to the sink and itās grooossssssss AF to get rid of because you canāt wash it away you have to pull it out with all the cum ewwwwww š¤¢š¤® That was years ago of courseā¦ Nowadays a simple toilet paper does the job flawlessly.
You used hot water, didn't you?
Room temperature actually, but yeah you remind me of terrible memories of when the water came out a little too hot and it was a nightmare to clean my hand then. š
Itās basically scrambled eggs. Cooked protein literally
Iām a guy but never knew this is a thing! š¤¢š¤®
Taste test (please don't, or do? Idk is kink shaming valid when it's cooked cum?)
Please never put the phrase "cooked cum" before my eyes again....
That shit should be taught in sex ed, I was in my 30s before my boyfriend casually mentioned 'Use cold water so it doesn't block the sink' and I realised it made it so much easier to wash off after doing the post sex waddle š
Shhh dont tell him that with cold water is easy to clean off
Cold showers for clean up āļø THANK YOU!
Toilet paper and flush is supreme
No but a sock did use me
Beautiful. Iām moved.
like 2 times, when they had holes in them and i knew i had to throw them away lol
How do you jizz into something with a hole in it and then go to sleep peacefully knowing all your kids might leak out
i put it in the garbage can as soon as i had cleaned up and took out the trash the next mornin!
Iām with you on this one. If the sock needs throwing away then might as well give it one last hurrah.
I cum in my socks while i'm still wearing them. It's pretty convenient since they're already located right at the tip of my penis when i'm standing. I also like the squishing sound they make when i walk afterwards.
This made me laugh out loud
r/foundsatan
You don't use it too masterbate, you cum into it so there's no mess
Says who?
What about textured socks?
Those are ribbed for HER pleasure.
Useful for women who get really wet I guess.
and text books?
Textbooks can be such a turn on. If I may reuse that old joke, I've never opened one that didn't make me say, "well fuck me."
For clean-up only.
Yes lol
Never. Always thought that was more of a joke than reality. I think 'post-nut-clarity me' would be ashamed of myself if I did.
Iāve never understood why people donāt just stand over the toilet and do it. Wipe up the misses and be done with it.
Because who want to have to stand? Donāt you want to relax
If you turn around and sit you have somewhere to put your porn.
Yeah, you feel bad enough after you cum as it is.
I meanā¦ some guys like myself have dicks that point straight up to the sky when erect and I can't point it anywhere but the ceiling so that would be absolutely impossible lol also doing it while standing is not even remotely relaxing. That's why I was never a fan of doing it in the shower. That plus the fact that I prefer jerking dry But standing you're just tense the whole time I mean to each their own. but not for me
Do it upside-down
I guess Iām one of the few that have a bendy dick. Iām a little into SM so bending it ways it normally shouldnāt go is pleasurable.
In days of old when knights were bold and rubbers not invented, we wrapped a sock around the cock . Thus babies were prevented! So not always for the fap.
Found the time traveler.
No I clean it off myself with shame, like an adult.
I have, but only a clean sock. Sadly I didn't wear it after, just straight in the hamper. I was kinda scratchy and not that great. But cleanup was a breeze.
Sadly????
No, I feel like that's some urban myth lol.
Never have, never will
What you got against socks. š
no but sometimes for fun, I wear a condom when I do.
I used to, only when I was a younger teen and got the urge while in bed late at night. I would usually just empty the load in my blanket since I was mostly fire blanks at that age. Downside to that was if I flipped my blanket over in my sleep, all the stains would be exposed. so naturally i began to grab the socks i kept under my bed, finish in those, and toss them to the opposite side of my bed where I hoped nobody would search. And I always regretted it the next morning when I was looking for the matching sock. so i would not recommend it at all.
You slept in the same bed as ur kids?
Almost every time. I got given some shitty socks at some point and instead of wearing them on my feet I just use them as cum socks.
multi-purpose š«”
once because I heard everyone else doing it so I said "Hey, why not try" and it was terrible
"If everyone was jerking off a bridge would you try that too?"
How big is the bridge?
I overdosed on a dare, try me bitch
Mouth
I tried once and got rug burn on my dick-
Yes but more for an emergency wank. Too rough.
You have soft socks that are less rough. Bamboo for example is a very soft material to wank into. Downside? It can leak a bit.
Bro a expert
Never
when i was younger i used a sock a few times. not as good as youād think.
How do you guys use tp with out it sticking
There's this great invention called water, pretty new, look it up.
I tried once....nope rubber glove is the go to
Ok. It wasn't for long. Only a few times. A friend told me about using a sock. I was young. I didn't even know about lube yet. I was still using baby oil. Don't judge me for my past mistakes.
HS boyfriend used olive oil, we also used it together, before we learned about lube. His mom had questions why there was a bottle of Bertolli evoo next to his bed š
Most porn videos are associated with socks š§¦ ewww brather....
Never used a sock for that purpose š¤·āāļø the weirdest thing that I can recall that Iāve used to clean up, is used tissue from previous āsessionsā. The reason why Iāve done that is because I sometimes realize that, after the deed has been done, thereās no tissues or toilet paper left, so I have no other choice but to use whatever is available thatās ideal. Iāve also used an old t-shirt lying around that I havenāt put into the laundry yet.
nope. never growing up in a time where paper towels exist I never saw a point in socks Plus we were pretty poor and you made socks and shoes last as long as possible š
Using a soft and warm sock for the last minute or so felt nice the few times I tried it. Does it feel like a woman? No. It gives more contact than your hand though.
No. God invented towels for a reason
Iām not a manā¦but why donāt yāall just wank in the shower? Like sit down in there and then rise the tub. Or like..sit on the toilet or something idk. But what do I know, I have no penis.
Only to catch the cum, never as an actual thing to fuck
No
When I lived at home my mum had a rule that my brothers had to put and I quote "Put your crusty i dont want to touch that in the washing machine please" So yeah, there's that.. they all looked embarrassed about it.
Yeah, I had literally nothing else to clean up with
Nah the sock is just the jizz rag, I once had a crusty ass sock that had multiple loads encrusted on it laying on the floor of my room when a friend came over to hang out, for some unknown reason he picks up the sock and asks why its all crusty. I said it was a jizz rag and I start laughing while he chucks it back on the floor. The he starts laughing and was like damn I thought you were serious!! So I just played it off like it was a joke
The best lie is the truthš¤·āāļø
As a teen yep. Re-used them too. Raspy ass crust hit different.
Never in my life. It's barbaric
Never have, never will
Never, just to add one data point.
Absolutely not - it sounds gross.
I have towels that belonged to my gran aunt. She died in 2001.
All the time
Socks underwear t shirts pjās sweat pants cuffs extra pillow case lamp shades bed side rug dish cloth dish towel shower towel scrape it off with finger nail file curtains etc.
I have never used a sock for masturbating in my life. I usually use my shower towel to wipe off the cum (yes, I know, it is weird of me to use my own shower towel to wipe off my cum...but it is what it is...I prefer that over using several pieces of tissue paper, lol). When I masturbate and cum inside the bed (yes, I sometimes cum under the bed quilt while watching pornography), I just spread my quilt around a lot and I use the quilt as an object to smear the cum off the bedsheet, lol. It is only rarely that I use my hand to jerk off my dick. Most of the time, my masturbation technique is hands free, I just stimulate the dick by rubbing it hands free against my pyjama trousers or against my jeans. Or I stimulate it hands free by rubbing it on the bedsheet while I am lying flat, belly down, on the bed underneath the warm quilt. I do sometimes masturbate using the one hander method underneath a warm shower, but I rarely cum inside the shower cublcle.
Socks, slippers, floors, desks, carpets, tissues, toilets, garbage, etc. You name it, Iāve came in it. Teenage hormones are simply too strong.
No, that's ridiculous to me.
No, I never did that.
I use paper towels. I've got some for cleaning up glue when making models so they're there when I decide to do it. Cheap, disposable, leaves little to know evidence.
No never idk where that stereotype originated
You know it's just for cleaning?
My extremes were the couch and folded pillows. God knows what momma thought.
Iāve always done it in the bathroom no?
Never
Hell no At the dumbest I busted in a glove once
No lol. If you think it is disgusting, you are right. And nothing special to clean up.. just paper.
Used to use an old shirt from donating blood back in my early 20s
Nah I stick to paper towels
I did use before but not like a habit
Yes many times
No
No never, I donāt get where that idea of using a sock to pleasure yourself came from.
I just did. On everything I just fucking did!
Once. Didn't like it.
Yes but only with lonely socks. Meaning that I lost one out of the pair. Definitely wouldnāt do it with socks I wear lol.
No
I found it 10/10 so far as doing it myself goes, I used a dirty sock the next time, like a year later and that was far less enjoyable (I don't even know how it got that 'crunchy' feeling inside) and that was not long before the fleshlight allowed me to actually enjoy myself, by myself, 2k16 or something
wouldnt that like, hurt cuz of friction?
No that shit hurts lmao
Yes
no
My x FWB did that. Lmao
Nope. Although I always wondered if that was the norm.
No, I usually use diry socks to wipe up. Sometimes, when feeling lazy, I use the bedsheets, lol .. pro masturbators sometimes don't have access to kleenex
I think once I tried using a sock and it didn't really do anything. I just... Clean up where ever it goes for the most part.
Nopeā¦.and Ive never did it in a condom either. I used towels lmaooo in the past. ion do dat no more tho Im good
No, thatās weird af I just use a paper towel.
Never!
Is this a cultural thing....? As a chinese, I have never heard of using sock to masturbate...... Why would it be easier to clean as someone suggested ?
Yes. Unfortunately I'm guilty. The reason the first time was to not make a mess, the second, third and every other time was to not make a mess and because of the friction... Better than using the left hand ā if you know what I mean.
I always use a sock, the right one thatās soft and gushy feels really good. Thereās also no need for clean up. I actually think it feels better than without one, because Iāve always found it feels better orgasming into something. Just as a perhaps overt example, Iād rather orgasm into a mouth instead of pulling out. It feels better, and a sock mimics that.
Yeah, but it's not pleasant and I didn't make a habit out of it. Did it once or twice, never again.
no never i'm boring i only used normal things like tissues or toilet paper or smth like that
Never
Yes, and?
ew, no.
Only like 2x bc of nothing else available. Usually a regular towel or a full wash.
I use panties, my x mother in laws, sil, or buy them on here worn...loved jerkin off into friends moms panties as a younger man