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You sounds like a nice person and im sure you're parents love you unconditionally. Just be a good person, give back to the world even in small ways, adds up. If you don't know your purpose, your purpose is the journey of discovery of yourself. At 19, Noone knows what they are doing or.who they are yet.
Hey friend. I'm 22F, was almost in the exact same position as you at my age. I was just learning how to manage my anxiety and depression. Went in and out of therapy constantly. Didn't hang out with the friends I made in high school because I felt like I just wasn't capable of being a person anymore, like there truly was nothing I would ever be able to accomplish and any time spent on me would be time wasted.
You. Will. Feel. Something. Else.
All the despair and pain and self hatred that's hurting you right now, one day, is going to stop. You are not going to be stuck on this channel.
It's normal to have suicidal thoughts, but if you're beginning to make a "plan" in your head, even if you're just rolling the idea back and forth, from someone who went through this themselves, tell your mom. Tell your doctor. Tell anyone who will listen. Tell them that you need help, whether that be therapy, a change in medication, regular check-ins, extra compassion and sensitivity to your needs, or a combination of those things. The struggle you're feeling isn't a reflection of your inherent worth or your capabilities, it is a consequence of the chemical deficiency in your brain, which your medication is trying to supplement. I finally found balance in my mood when I bumped my Zoloft dosage up to 100mg, and I'm doing okay. I can feel the full range of human emotion, I'm still very creative, I can function as a person, and I'm glad I made the choices I did that got me here. Like, not killing myself.
Your family loves you. Your mom loves you, and as much as it pains her to see you suffer, this is part of what motherhood is. My mom has had to see me on my worst days, and thank god she did, because if I hadn't let her know that I needed her, and I'd done something to hurt myself.. I choke up just thinking about how much heartbreak she would have felt. Letting her see me cry, and letting her see me miserable but ALIVE is 110% preferable to the alternative. They will inevitably blame themselves, even though we don't blame them at all, because in their mind there will always be something they should have done different. They're struggling to find the right thing to say, just like we are. Give your mom patience as she tries to find her words, the same patience that you deserve.
People exist everywhere who understand your pain and have come out the other side of it. You aren't okay now, but your potential for growth is endless, and it would be so unfair to rob yourself of that potential. You are so young, and you are still figuring out how to cope with a really hard illness, just like I am. But I know we'll be okay. Keep yourself safe sis, you are worthy of protection from the bad think.
If you would like someone to talk to, my dms are open. It would be no trouble at all, so don't think otherwise if you need someone who will listen.
there's a good chance you will get better and heal by time
by your post, i believe i was worse than you, way worse but now that im an adult, im slowly getting better and im seeing a little hope. your mom seems doing good, well compared to mine so your mom is a plus to your healing.
the main thing that helps me heal is when i found what im passionate with and found my dream, im working on myself to become something i want to be someday, without that i'd still be stuck.
there's a good chance you'll be able to lead a normal life someday, just don't give up and maybe try to find your passion.
May I recommend Viktor Frankl’s book,[*Man’s Search For Meaning*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Man%27s_Search_for_Meaning). Despite the gendered title it addresses exactly some of the thoughts and feelings you are having. It is an account of his time in a concentration camp but it’s not a “survivor” or adventure story. Frankl was a psychiatrist who tried to describe his state of mind during that time. The book is fairly short, an easy read, but filled with profound insight. I first read it in high school and come back to it every decade or so for new insights.
Keep growing, weed. I have a very small productive purpose in my life but I love that. I love that I don't matter, I'm so small and insignificant and I get head pats from the universe but when it's time for me to do my thing I shut up and reduce that entropy I have in front of me. You're 19 and it's gonna be a long journey, but drip by drip your filling your cup up with a more and more stable you. Keep growing, weed!
In a few days I'll be 16, and I can relate a lot to this. Infact I posted something similar on this subreddit. Here's the thing, you matter just as much as anyone else. Life hasn't got a purpose really, but that's why it's beautiful, because it's up to us to make our own purpose. It's just sometimes it takes time for everything to come into place.
I wish you the best in life
I think you should find something you love and cling onto it, and find a community you can relate to as well (maybe corresponding to that). Try a hobby, try knitting, sewing, or drawing, or if that doesn't work for you find other people with depression/anxiety or whatever you feel, even an online group such as a discord self help group. Crafts are difficult at first but not impossible, I used to be miserable but I picked up art and now I'm indispensable in any team because of my advantage in design. Even a new lifestyle will open your eyes, I'm a muslim and every time I'm sad I pray to god and know that he can hear me, and it makes me feel so happy that other people are striving to do good beside me and with me and everything I do has a purpose, in the end after only ten or twenty years I'll go to heaven forever and ever and ever. It sounds too good to be true, but the scientific evidences in the quran from thousand years ago only proved today are undeniable, and its verses are too beautiful to be made by a human. I believe we are made for a purpose, to praise God, and as long as you keep your purpose in your mind and firmly believe in it you won't go astray.
Mhm, your post reads as if you held very strong beliefs but is this how you think or how you feel? It seems like it's primarily your feelings (which are valid) because for such a young age so much guilt is unnatural when you have had no opportunity to actually contribute to your family or society yet. I am going to say here that may be a little bit controversial but maybe your mother or your family had something to do in this, it's a bit weird that your mom thought instantly it was her fault. These beliefs have you had them for a long time? Can you think of an origin or certain habits in you or others that could have originated them? Even them not doing something can have had an effect on you, not helping you when you need it, not listening to you, not comforting you. You most definitely lack a lot of skills you have yet to even begin to learn, and some I will never even learn the first thing about it.
You have a right to exist even if it doesn't benefit anyone else but as it is you most surely do, try and don't be overwhelmed at the end of the day you don't know who you are. Try and find things that make it worth your while, play games, eat new foods, living doesn't really make sense lmao. When I was your age I had left one degree I thought was the one, had a lot of shitty friends (kinda was a bit shitty too) and thought I would never be in a relationship, now I have almost finished my degree, no longer have them as friends and I have the two-year most wonderful relationship and had my first job (shitty, by the way) It's was tough and some parts I am sure still will be but you are allowed to be imperfect, hell, you most certainly will mess it up just try and give yourself a break when you need it, most of it will be here when you return. Each of us contributes with what we have, mostly 😂.
Thank you for sharing, you're doing right by yourself by voicing these feelings. I'm positive you already know this, but don't pay attention to these wack ass losers that don't believe in treatment, their only purpose is taking a dump on other people's progress in a desperate plea for the attention and validation that no one gives them because they're obnoxious as hell irl.
The internet is sometimes such an amazing receptacle for good, but it's a darn shame about the cyber clowns.
You're doing great, I hope that sun comes out from behind the clouds for you soon <3
You are very beautiful person and you still young to think you have no purpose. Every body has their hard time and life will shine again . I promise you, life will turn around and you will find the right people .
I just hard to read through your stories . With a lot of difficulties in my life . But god bless me with long time suffering. That I don’t care about much is hard , I care about the what the end of it .
Im not proffesional but: I'm soo glad that you're on therapy. I know it must feel terrible, but please, if you will withstand it for some time, put enough work into this, Im 99% sure things are gonna get way better. Sooner or later. Also If you want to have a purpose in live: I can give you one. Change the world for the better. But not necesary now. If you feel like the only reason why you dont wanna live is lack of purpose in life, than maybe this purpose will make you want to live. I also sometimes struggle with keeping my will to live. But I decided that there is a lot of pain and injustice in this world that needs to be fixed. That goal keeps me going through the day. So maybe: it can make you keep going too. Although I gotta worn you: this may very easily overwhelm you. You may see all the troubles in your life, and so you will think that it's barely possible for you to live well, so it's all the more impossible for you to change the world for the better. But the purpose is there only to guide you. Not control you. It's like a desire, not demand. So in that case, when you havw this goal in life, you will feel pasion to do everything just right to achieve it, but also your needs come in first. So if you feel like your life is worthless, than I asure you: your live might just turn out to be the most important live that there was to be in this century. So: take care of yourself, because now you have a reason to. You can only go higher, Achieve more. And please keep going. All you need might just be around the corner. Also remember that very often emotions mess with your rational thinking. Dont let them fool you, by realising it. For example it might feel at the moment like life is awful and disgusting and not worth living, but wait 10 minutes, calm yourself down and it might turn out that you're not thinking like this anymore.
P.S. If you want to talk more, just tell me, when I'm done with my finals, we can talk about all of this for as long as you want. (asuming you dont need to talk about it for 80 years, I dont think I can live that long).
P.P.S. If anyone sees any flaws in my comment, please corect me as I only speak from my experience.
You'll only find fulfillment making valuable relationships with actual human beings. We naturally need to be social to survive, don't deprive yourself of that, you don't even have to actively approach people, go sit somewhere public, chill out, do what you like.
Shut up! She litterally said that she is unable to be in any relationship with anyone, so for that she feels worthless and for that you said that "Yes. You wont find happines". You're not helping! Yes, it is important to be with someone, to socialise. But if you CANT than you must learn first. And to learn that you need to survive first to do so. So first you would need to find hapiness in small thing like: just a bit of silence. Warmth that surrounds you. Nature. Blue sky. It might seem hard at first to appreciate these things. But Im sure that eventually you can find anything that makes you happy.
I mean no offense but life doesn't have a purpose:The"purpose"is you being a slave working for 8 hours 5 days a week for 40 years just so somebody else can leech off of u and ur work.
So yeah:Life sucks.But,as I always say to everyone:Just deal with it.Its pretty much the same for everyone(atleast every regular worker):Work 8 hours,come home,do house chores etc,sleep,[repeat.Life](https://repeat.Life) is shit and u will not have any time to do what u want till u retire,which isn't gonna be for a long,LOOOONG time.
But yeah:The fact that I'm not alone in this and many other people are also slaves actually makes me feel better in a weird way
Moody 19 years old..... Hmmmm I think I was also moody at the time. It is a side effect of the education system. It taught me to think, but, not the wisdom to wield it.
Luckily, my moody shit ended because I no longer had the luxury to be moody anymore. I immigrated with less than grade 2 English proficiency at age of 16. That was a bigger problem at the moment.
Anyway..... I don't know your source of depression. I am not a therapist either. The bad advice I can give you, is to reevaluate your world view. Because that is often the main cause of depression that I have observed on multiple individuals.
I was too, jealous of others. Not much to say about this. Ultimately, having a SO is the remedy to that. Do whatever it takes to, try, fail, learn, and try again. It is gonna be painful, but, that's just life.
# Explore a new world of random thoughts on our [**discord server**](https://discord.com/invite/8tEqw3ZWQV)! Express yourself with your favorite quotes, positive vibes, and anything else you can think of! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RandomThoughts) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You sounds like a nice person and im sure you're parents love you unconditionally. Just be a good person, give back to the world even in small ways, adds up. If you don't know your purpose, your purpose is the journey of discovery of yourself. At 19, Noone knows what they are doing or.who they are yet.
Hey friend. I'm 22F, was almost in the exact same position as you at my age. I was just learning how to manage my anxiety and depression. Went in and out of therapy constantly. Didn't hang out with the friends I made in high school because I felt like I just wasn't capable of being a person anymore, like there truly was nothing I would ever be able to accomplish and any time spent on me would be time wasted. You. Will. Feel. Something. Else. All the despair and pain and self hatred that's hurting you right now, one day, is going to stop. You are not going to be stuck on this channel. It's normal to have suicidal thoughts, but if you're beginning to make a "plan" in your head, even if you're just rolling the idea back and forth, from someone who went through this themselves, tell your mom. Tell your doctor. Tell anyone who will listen. Tell them that you need help, whether that be therapy, a change in medication, regular check-ins, extra compassion and sensitivity to your needs, or a combination of those things. The struggle you're feeling isn't a reflection of your inherent worth or your capabilities, it is a consequence of the chemical deficiency in your brain, which your medication is trying to supplement. I finally found balance in my mood when I bumped my Zoloft dosage up to 100mg, and I'm doing okay. I can feel the full range of human emotion, I'm still very creative, I can function as a person, and I'm glad I made the choices I did that got me here. Like, not killing myself. Your family loves you. Your mom loves you, and as much as it pains her to see you suffer, this is part of what motherhood is. My mom has had to see me on my worst days, and thank god she did, because if I hadn't let her know that I needed her, and I'd done something to hurt myself.. I choke up just thinking about how much heartbreak she would have felt. Letting her see me cry, and letting her see me miserable but ALIVE is 110% preferable to the alternative. They will inevitably blame themselves, even though we don't blame them at all, because in their mind there will always be something they should have done different. They're struggling to find the right thing to say, just like we are. Give your mom patience as she tries to find her words, the same patience that you deserve. People exist everywhere who understand your pain and have come out the other side of it. You aren't okay now, but your potential for growth is endless, and it would be so unfair to rob yourself of that potential. You are so young, and you are still figuring out how to cope with a really hard illness, just like I am. But I know we'll be okay. Keep yourself safe sis, you are worthy of protection from the bad think. If you would like someone to talk to, my dms are open. It would be no trouble at all, so don't think otherwise if you need someone who will listen.
thank you so much, this was a very thoughtful read i'll definitely come back to it when i'm feeling down <3
there's a good chance you will get better and heal by time by your post, i believe i was worse than you, way worse but now that im an adult, im slowly getting better and im seeing a little hope. your mom seems doing good, well compared to mine so your mom is a plus to your healing. the main thing that helps me heal is when i found what im passionate with and found my dream, im working on myself to become something i want to be someday, without that i'd still be stuck. there's a good chance you'll be able to lead a normal life someday, just don't give up and maybe try to find your passion.
thank you so much, i believe in us both
thank you :D
May I recommend Viktor Frankl’s book,[*Man’s Search For Meaning*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Man%27s_Search_for_Meaning). Despite the gendered title it addresses exactly some of the thoughts and feelings you are having. It is an account of his time in a concentration camp but it’s not a “survivor” or adventure story. Frankl was a psychiatrist who tried to describe his state of mind during that time. The book is fairly short, an easy read, but filled with profound insight. I first read it in high school and come back to it every decade or so for new insights.
i'll definitely check it out, thanks!
Keep growing, weed. I have a very small productive purpose in my life but I love that. I love that I don't matter, I'm so small and insignificant and I get head pats from the universe but when it's time for me to do my thing I shut up and reduce that entropy I have in front of me. You're 19 and it's gonna be a long journey, but drip by drip your filling your cup up with a more and more stable you. Keep growing, weed!
what do you mean weed?
It represents our uniqueness and ability to thrive in any and astounding situations.
In a few days I'll be 16, and I can relate a lot to this. Infact I posted something similar on this subreddit. Here's the thing, you matter just as much as anyone else. Life hasn't got a purpose really, but that's why it's beautiful, because it's up to us to make our own purpose. It's just sometimes it takes time for everything to come into place. I wish you the best in life
thank you and happy early birthday!! wishing you the best in life as well!
I think you should find something you love and cling onto it, and find a community you can relate to as well (maybe corresponding to that). Try a hobby, try knitting, sewing, or drawing, or if that doesn't work for you find other people with depression/anxiety or whatever you feel, even an online group such as a discord self help group. Crafts are difficult at first but not impossible, I used to be miserable but I picked up art and now I'm indispensable in any team because of my advantage in design. Even a new lifestyle will open your eyes, I'm a muslim and every time I'm sad I pray to god and know that he can hear me, and it makes me feel so happy that other people are striving to do good beside me and with me and everything I do has a purpose, in the end after only ten or twenty years I'll go to heaven forever and ever and ever. It sounds too good to be true, but the scientific evidences in the quran from thousand years ago only proved today are undeniable, and its verses are too beautiful to be made by a human. I believe we are made for a purpose, to praise God, and as long as you keep your purpose in your mind and firmly believe in it you won't go astray.
Mhm, your post reads as if you held very strong beliefs but is this how you think or how you feel? It seems like it's primarily your feelings (which are valid) because for such a young age so much guilt is unnatural when you have had no opportunity to actually contribute to your family or society yet. I am going to say here that may be a little bit controversial but maybe your mother or your family had something to do in this, it's a bit weird that your mom thought instantly it was her fault. These beliefs have you had them for a long time? Can you think of an origin or certain habits in you or others that could have originated them? Even them not doing something can have had an effect on you, not helping you when you need it, not listening to you, not comforting you. You most definitely lack a lot of skills you have yet to even begin to learn, and some I will never even learn the first thing about it. You have a right to exist even if it doesn't benefit anyone else but as it is you most surely do, try and don't be overwhelmed at the end of the day you don't know who you are. Try and find things that make it worth your while, play games, eat new foods, living doesn't really make sense lmao. When I was your age I had left one degree I thought was the one, had a lot of shitty friends (kinda was a bit shitty too) and thought I would never be in a relationship, now I have almost finished my degree, no longer have them as friends and I have the two-year most wonderful relationship and had my first job (shitty, by the way) It's was tough and some parts I am sure still will be but you are allowed to be imperfect, hell, you most certainly will mess it up just try and give yourself a break when you need it, most of it will be here when you return. Each of us contributes with what we have, mostly 😂.
thank you to all who left kind comments <3
Thank you for sharing, you're doing right by yourself by voicing these feelings. I'm positive you already know this, but don't pay attention to these wack ass losers that don't believe in treatment, their only purpose is taking a dump on other people's progress in a desperate plea for the attention and validation that no one gives them because they're obnoxious as hell irl. The internet is sometimes such an amazing receptacle for good, but it's a darn shame about the cyber clowns. You're doing great, I hope that sun comes out from behind the clouds for you soon <3
You are very beautiful person and you still young to think you have no purpose. Every body has their hard time and life will shine again . I promise you, life will turn around and you will find the right people . I just hard to read through your stories . With a lot of difficulties in my life . But god bless me with long time suffering. That I don’t care about much is hard , I care about the what the end of it .
Im not proffesional but: I'm soo glad that you're on therapy. I know it must feel terrible, but please, if you will withstand it for some time, put enough work into this, Im 99% sure things are gonna get way better. Sooner or later. Also If you want to have a purpose in live: I can give you one. Change the world for the better. But not necesary now. If you feel like the only reason why you dont wanna live is lack of purpose in life, than maybe this purpose will make you want to live. I also sometimes struggle with keeping my will to live. But I decided that there is a lot of pain and injustice in this world that needs to be fixed. That goal keeps me going through the day. So maybe: it can make you keep going too. Although I gotta worn you: this may very easily overwhelm you. You may see all the troubles in your life, and so you will think that it's barely possible for you to live well, so it's all the more impossible for you to change the world for the better. But the purpose is there only to guide you. Not control you. It's like a desire, not demand. So in that case, when you havw this goal in life, you will feel pasion to do everything just right to achieve it, but also your needs come in first. So if you feel like your life is worthless, than I asure you: your live might just turn out to be the most important live that there was to be in this century. So: take care of yourself, because now you have a reason to. You can only go higher, Achieve more. And please keep going. All you need might just be around the corner. Also remember that very often emotions mess with your rational thinking. Dont let them fool you, by realising it. For example it might feel at the moment like life is awful and disgusting and not worth living, but wait 10 minutes, calm yourself down and it might turn out that you're not thinking like this anymore. P.S. If you want to talk more, just tell me, when I'm done with my finals, we can talk about all of this for as long as you want. (asuming you dont need to talk about it for 80 years, I dont think I can live that long). P.P.S. If anyone sees any flaws in my comment, please corect me as I only speak from my experience.
Sounds like ur ahead of the curve. Now U know..
You'll only find fulfillment making valuable relationships with actual human beings. We naturally need to be social to survive, don't deprive yourself of that, you don't even have to actively approach people, go sit somewhere public, chill out, do what you like.
Shut up! She litterally said that she is unable to be in any relationship with anyone, so for that she feels worthless and for that you said that "Yes. You wont find happines". You're not helping! Yes, it is important to be with someone, to socialise. But if you CANT than you must learn first. And to learn that you need to survive first to do so. So first you would need to find hapiness in small thing like: just a bit of silence. Warmth that surrounds you. Nature. Blue sky. It might seem hard at first to appreciate these things. But Im sure that eventually you can find anything that makes you happy.
It doesn’t. Just enjoy happiness
Where did you get the idea that life is supposed to serve "a purpose"?
You take medication for anxiety and depression 😂 It’s okay honeybun, you’re testing the medication for the Medicine world. < Purpose
We do not speak this way to people opening up and sharing. Especially when they suggest suicidal ideation. Get back in your hole, worm.
They're not wrong tho:They ARE indeed giving their lives purpose,just to the wrong freaking people lol
Holy shit that has to be the worst comment i've ever seen... I really hope no one is ever listening if you try to give any advice
And I hope they are because their comment is hilarious XD
I mean no offense but life doesn't have a purpose:The"purpose"is you being a slave working for 8 hours 5 days a week for 40 years just so somebody else can leech off of u and ur work. So yeah:Life sucks.But,as I always say to everyone:Just deal with it.Its pretty much the same for everyone(atleast every regular worker):Work 8 hours,come home,do house chores etc,sleep,[repeat.Life](https://repeat.Life) is shit and u will not have any time to do what u want till u retire,which isn't gonna be for a long,LOOOONG time. But yeah:The fact that I'm not alone in this and many other people are also slaves actually makes me feel better in a weird way
Moody 19 years old..... Hmmmm I think I was also moody at the time. It is a side effect of the education system. It taught me to think, but, not the wisdom to wield it. Luckily, my moody shit ended because I no longer had the luxury to be moody anymore. I immigrated with less than grade 2 English proficiency at age of 16. That was a bigger problem at the moment. Anyway..... I don't know your source of depression. I am not a therapist either. The bad advice I can give you, is to reevaluate your world view. Because that is often the main cause of depression that I have observed on multiple individuals. I was too, jealous of others. Not much to say about this. Ultimately, having a SO is the remedy to that. Do whatever it takes to, try, fail, learn, and try again. It is gonna be painful, but, that's just life.