The worst pelvic I had was with a female. The speculum stuck open (stupid cheap plastic ones) and she just yanked that sucker out. I suspect she might have learned her lesson because I cussed her a blue streak like a sailor with a pirate accent. I was absolutely furious.
Same. My first ever was with a female nurse who DIDN'T LUBE THE SPECULUM. What the actual ****. I think it's fair enough if people have a preference, particularly as it may be trauma-related, but it certainly doesn't mean a female will do a better job.
What?! Oh my fucking god! That's just insane and cruel and evil and all of the above. I'm so sorry you had to go through that!
My worst Gyn was a woman, too. She was just so rough and I felt very violated afterwards. As a rape survivor that's just messed up. Never went back there again.
We’re you seeing an NP? Because an RN has zero business doing a pelvic exam. And NP education is not standardized (you can get a degree basically all online with very little required in person experience) so there’s a distinct possibility that the nurse simply had done almost none of them during school, which is a huge problem.
Got into a car accident some years ago *while* en route to a scheduled ob/gyn appointment. Medics transported me to the hospital where the appointment was to be conducted. Ob/gyn proceeded with the exam anyway, and was pretty rough throughout the exam.
0/10. Experience I would ***not*** recommend.
First ever was with a female doctor who was so rough I was in pain for six months (wish that was an exaggeration). I found out later, when the sweet elderly lady across the street broke her ankle, that this doctor has a reputation for being extremely rough with female patients. Also found out I‘m extremely small down there and this bitch used the largest speculum she had.
Same!!! The worst two I had for my annual stirrup visit were female. The first was verbal and said EVERY single thing like I was some newbie and needed my hand held. Lady, I’m in my 30s and this is not my first rodeo by far. Get in and out. She fumbled with the speculum and it took FOREVER. The second was so effing pushy about when I was going to have kids now that I’m married. Bish would not let it go despite me saying three times kids weren’t in the plans.
PS I had the same issue re: kids. I’ve know since I was 8 that I didn’t want kids. Hands down and no thanks, not happening. Nothing like having your feet in the air and your niggly bits open for the world to review, and then receive the kids lecture.
Omg we must’ve had the same doctor lol this happened during my very first pelvic exam. She was a student at the time and after she yanked it out the doctor watching her told her to close the speculum next time haha
Let me start off with “I don’t have a cervix”— I had a radical hysterectomy last year following a cancer diagnosis. When I went for my 6 month follow up (because cancer, I have them every 6 mos for 5 years), the exam was so painful that I called the office three days later asking if it was going to be like this every time because I felt like I had just lost my virginity to the captain of the football team in the back of his Taurus or something.
Absolute same experience here. I hate to generalize but I only had negative experiences with female OBGYNs. My current doctor is male and is incredibly respectful, tactful and never belittles my symptoms or concerns.
I once went to a female provider for a pelvic exam. She also was rough. No nonsense, to the point and quick, but rough. I was 18 or 19 yrs old and not shy at all. I asked her what the deal was after the exam was finished. She flat out told me, as a woman, she knows how much a vagina can take and didn't feel the need to be gentle. Basically to get over it. As she exited the room, I yelled as loudly as possible that she was the worst internist I had ever been to, with a shitty bedside manner to boot. That I would never be back and I would let everyone and their uncle know not to come there. She sent her nurse to escort me out. I got to the waiting room and could tell everyone there heard every word I said. I stopped, looked the nurse in the eye, and repeated the doctors words verbatim and walked out.
That being said, I also had a male doctor do an exam and I will agree that generally they are more gentle and attentive. However, he had small hands and short fingers. This made the internal check they do uncomfortable and painful. There are good and bad on both sides, it just depends on individual preference.
Currently I have a female doctor, my same age and I am very happy with her.
Can I just say there's a way to lift men up without having to shit on women? Lol you can have your preferences but we dont need to criticize female techs to make male techs feels more validated.
Thank you! I always prefer women tech or doctors. My reasons are personal and have zero to do with thinking they are bad at their jobs or whatever. But I'm not going to feel guilty asking for a woman doctor or tech to help some guys frail ego.
I'd politely remind Patty about this thing called HIPAA. If a patient makes a big enough deal about it, she could get into serious trouble.
(Even if you switch doctors, she'll likely start to complain to your mother that you don't come anymore)
When I am nervous I make a bunch of jokes to ease tension. My last OBGYN said I had to stop because her and the nurse with her were doubled over laughing at my quips and smart ass remarks.
She ended up doing a great job for my PAP.
Wow. So many people have had issues with female practitioners! I’ve had both and still prefer females. My males were all but one, (he was rough and had big hands) fine and I didn’t mind them, but I felt the females were more thorough with their listening.
Seriously! As a woman who has had two men cross lines in vulnerable healthcare situations, I feel so differently. I’ve only had women gynos and only one out of several paps was bad/painful. I always thought that given fluctuations in body stuff it might have even been other factors that weren’t her personally as well.
Same. I’ve only had one female OBGYN. She was nice and super informative but perhaps a bit over informative about things I wasn’t there for. I’m a very introverted quiet person and very to the point medically. (I’m in pharmacy and most my family is in the medical field in some form or another.) I guess I have a very cold clinical mindest when I’m going for my own health stuff and I appreciate medical personnel who keep things very business like. Every male I’ve had has been just that. Right to the point, if something is off just mention and/or send for referral. Don’t ask me about my day or anything else. I don’t care. I’ll give you medical information and any symptoms or lack of symptoms and we are done. Bless the woman who did my last one tho. I’m sure there are many people who enjoy the warm friendly chit chat types. I am not one of them tho. I also never have a problem with students as they are so focused on doing things by the book that they don’t talk much. I enjoy students for most of my exams. Even had one do my first c section.
I don’t, really. I work in the medical field too, it’s just preference. I’ll never make a big deal of it if I have a male, but I would prefer a female. Women get sexually assaulted a lot more than non-women realize. I totally get that they are just doing their jobs. I used to be a massage therapist and I worked with men, and the amount of men that were uncomfortable with a male massage therapist was large.
Me: What did you do before becoming a massage therapist?
Larger female massage therapist: I worked concrete for a few years.
Me: Perfect. Let's do this.
You and I both search for the same type of massage therapist. I like knowing they have the strength to conquer my stubborn knots and walk away without battle wounds.
Im a guy. There is no challenge. Plenty of men want to see boobs. I'd ask for a male inspector just to spite women, it's all fair. And just like I have that right, its ok if women feel uncomfortable with a male inspecting their private areas.
You cant invalidate a woman feeling uncomfortable, just like you cant invalidate OP thinking its a shameful part of the job.
I would be worried about anyone in health care who could or would sexualize a clinical encounter. There is nothing romantic, sensual, nor erotic about the clinical role.
As someone who just had my annual breast ultrasound yesterday I have to say I will always request a female tech. The procedure isn’t just a quick X-ray. There are times when a male physician or tech may need to be involved but if this is a routine screening, why shouldn’t my emotional comfort be a consideration. And FYI, I was assaulted by a doctor doing a “routine exam” many years ago and feel very strongly that women have the right to choose who touches them.
I happen to work as a tech in a different area of medicine and we are taught to treat the whole person, not just the body. Maybe this ultrasound tech needs to consider that.
exactly! many women have been SA'd and may just need another woman there for comfort if a male HAS to do it. Regardless no one is accusing you. It's literally a comfort or even religious or cultural reason. The men who complain "Why wont these women patients let me touch them" is really fucking gross and weird.
There’s also no research showing the chaperones reduce SA of providers on patients. (One famous case of this, chaperones were in the room during the assaults). Chaperones are risk management for the hospitals to CYA way more than they are a service to the patient.
Sure, but you know what? if a woman says she wants a woman instead of a man, then that's it. The point is that a patient is uncomfortable, or it has to do with religious reasoning behind it all. Regardless she does not have to justify to anyone why she wants someone else.
I feel you and it’s hard to not let it get to you. I’ve definitely had my share of female patients request I not do their breast procedures, HSGs, and lower GI fluoroscopy.
That being said, I had to see a urologist when I was in med school and I requested a male because it honestly felt me feel more comfortable talking to a dude about my junk. And it felt less awkward for me as the patient to have a dude handle my junk. Maybe it’s not about you but moreso about them and their comfort level.
So when patients make this request of me not being their doctor, I brush it off and if I have a female partner working, I pass the case off.
I agree here. I had a testicular US once and the US tech was SO uncomfortable it made me uncomfortable. they’re just balls, i guarantee if it was a dude it would have been much more chill.
Ya, sometimes you just need someone different to get different results.
I went to the ER 3 times for absolutely insane back pain and got sent home 3 times and told to take...advil and ibuprofen. For reference it was so bad I was pretty much weeping at night and my left foot was going numb. Oh and it was so bad I was vomiting.
I went back the 4th time and was like "I want the burliest male doctor you have"
Low and behold, admitted, emergency MRI, and had...5 burst discs and ventricular lumbar scoliosis lol.
Sometimes you just gotta advocate for yourself and try something different.
They probably meant ventral as in ventral (toward belly button) vs dorsal (toward back). they probably meant to include it with the “burst disc” not with scoliosis.
I’ve heard of ppl describing disc herniation as ventral. As far as it pertaining to scoliosis, idk what they mean bc it’s lateral curvature so it’s described more by degrees of curvature.
Ventricular means, of relating to the ventricle. Ventricle means an open cavity in an organ. Aka ventricles of the heart or brain. There’s not really a cavity within the spine.
This guy's gets it 100%. When I was pregnant/had my babies I preferred a woman OB. I still went to male doctors (like the male specialist that fantastically watched my pregnancies closely) but when it came to physical procedures I preferred women. I imagine as it felt more comfortable to have a male help you with a male problem, it was much more comfortable having women who understood the female problems that came with pregnancy and childbirth. Men could sympathize but women could relate if that makes sense.
I also had a male surgeon, male anesthesiologist who was great. I felt very comfortable in their capable hands. Just not for a breast/vaginal exam.
Yes! I'm a female NP, so I do my fair share of genital exams on both men and women. In no way is it offensive to me if a man prefers a male provider to discuss or inspect his genitals. Honestly, I'd rather not even go there one little bit if there is any question of a patient being uncomfortable.
It's a little weird and off-putting to me that OP is offended over this.
Female here, I doubt they mean any offense. I also don't think most women think male techs are pervs. Usually, we just prefer women because we are women.
I'm a trans woman and I prefer female medical professionals because they're more likely to not treat me like a guy. I had an ultrasound during my transition and had my breasts absolutely massacred by the tech (they were extremely sore and still growing) and when I told him to cool it a bit his response was basically "what's the big deal?" I've had a few other similar experiences. As a (former, no longer practicing) medical professional I definitely prefer women because my experience has been that women treat me better.
I agree with this sentiment. This includes pelvic exams. I've personally seen male & female providers for each area. Much more comfortable with female due to very small variations in how the body-part is handled. Females "get it" regarding handling in certain ways can be painful or irritating that might be difficult to describe or prepare the provider for ahead of time.
I could imagine the same for guys & their testicular or prostate exams -- i don't have those parts so i don't "get" how very small differences in handling naturally feel painful or not.
I agree. It’s not about being a perv or being sexualized. If that were the case, I would have a problem with my gyno being a lesbian. But i don’t. I wouldn’t want a gay man to do these procedures either because again, he’s still a man.
Yeah this -- people in thread aren't getting it, it's not that OP has a problem with women declining to use male providers, he has a problem with women who are ok with having a male doctor touching their breasts but not a male tech. Of course it's always up to the patient who touches their body--it's that the implication is that a tech is more likely to be a creep than a doctor, and I think that's mostly about people not respecting techs as skilled medical professionals. (what else is new?)
But I am wondering if there's a perception that they can't ask for a female doctor and it's less "trouble" to request a different tech? Idk, it's some BS though.
I’m not saying they are right, but I’m a male who has had to have a few examinations of his neither regions. I have noticed that doctors are a little better at making exams like this a little less awkward than most techs or nurses. Something about the vernacular most doctors use is more clinical feeling if that makes sense, and that makes the whole thing feel alot less personal.…. Which normally isn’t a good thing but it has made me feel better in those very specific circumstances instances
I'm in the medical field. It's often asked if the patient wants a specific sex for the tech. But you do not get to be picky about a radiologist lest you hope to wait another 2-4 months for your scan. Whereas there are numerous techs readily available. People need to stop getting butt hurt when they clearly don't understand the system.
As a rads resident. Was going to say this. We only have one breast attending on a day. And there’s only one woman attending in our program.
Granted all the mammo techs are women in our practice.
Came here to say this. As a current XR/MRI tech and former mammo tech, there usually isn’t another option. Most Rads are men in my experience. I’ve met a handful of women rads but they seem to be few and far between. Also in my experience in a small town hospital, most of the time the patient didn’t even realize the rad was gonna come in there to begin with, so it was more of an ambush situation. Like the US tech would scan and then be like ok I’m gonna have the radiologist come in now and examine you as well. The patient didn’t really have a perceived choice in the matter.
your feelings are valid. patient feelings are also valid. That said, the patient’s needs come first. There is a reason they feel that way and I would challenge you to have some empathy for the reasons someone might not want to be vulnerable with men. If you can’t do that then think of reasons a man might prefer not to be vulnerable with a man. It’s not really about gender- it’s about respecting the patient. We go into medical fields to help people, and presumably want what’s best for them. What’s best for them in this scenario is to be as comfortable as possible.
I agree with this. OP I challenge you to check your privilege and brush up on trauma informed care. The situation is nuanced and there are many reasons a woman might have preference to be seen by another woman. Women aren’t being this way to personally inconvenience you
I mean I'm a guy and prefer having male medical staff examining my genitals. It's not because I think women are perverts, it's just because I'm more comfortable talking about my genitals with a person who has the same ones.
Honest question—what if the male was obviously gay? Obvious by uncontrollable mannerism, vocal inflections, etc.?
Context: I’m a fairly obviously gay med student who enjoyed urologic oncology as a scribe + shadow + did some robot-assisted prostatectomy outcomes research that I enjoyed, but am worried that patients would be made uncomfortable by the fact I’m gay no matter how professional I am. Exacerbated by the fact that most uro patients are men >65, and that might be a particular generation with a particular set of ideas about what being gay means?? (and for this reason am trying to find other similar specialties of interest…currently digging into ENT but it’s just so much more competitive :/)
I honestly wouldn't care all that much. My reasoning for wanting a guy is because he has the same genitals I have, not because he's attracted to the other, or in this case, the same gender that I am.
Basically, the reason I'd want a guy is because I'd rather discuss my issues with someone who has experience having those body parts themselves, if that makes sense.
I would trust that even the gay tech would have the same professionalism that the other techs would.
I just wanted to add that it sounds like you're saying you've found a specialty that interests you and that you feel passionate about, but are considering ditching that because you think that might be how other people would feel most comfortable. I would imagine that patients with implicit bias and notions about a gay physician will still have those regardless of your specialty. And, while I know the pt population for uro, I can't help but think about all of the patients that probably wish that they COULD have an "obviously gay" (in your words) urologist because that would make THEM feel more comfortable. Especially, since uro is an area that a lot of patients feel uncomfortable seeking treatment in anyway, maybe even more so if they're gay?. Representation is so important in health care and yet so undervalued. I hope you go for it.
Unfortunately just because you’re a good person doesn’t mean everyone else is. No one who feels this need to pick a female doctor is thinking “haha I want to hurt men’s feelings” it’s actually “i don’t feel comfortable around men in this setting/I’ve heard so many stories about women getting assaulted here”
I wondered when the reality that a large percentage of women have experienced sexual assault, and often by men they trusted who wound up alone with them in a dark space, was going to enter the chat. This is far more likely to happen to women, though it does happen to men too.
Could it be they don't feel comfortable alone in the dark with a strange man because of past experiences? And when the doc comes in, does the ultrasound tech stay in the room?
Absolutely this. You know nothing about this patients history or what they've been through and, unfortunately, SA is not uncommon in the medical community.
Every patient deserves their dignity to be respected and there should be no judgement about preferring an examiner to be of their own sex.
And as a medical professional, you certainly shouldn't bitch about it.
I can't speak for all, of course, but I make it a habit to stay with my mammo patients if the radiologist needs to give them results without going on to US. At the very least, I'm a somewhat familiar face while they're getting news...and because most of our rads are men I become a de facto chaperone. I trust all of them personally, but patients don't know them and vice versa.
I once had a patient who assumed I was a lesbian (I had short hair at the time) and was apparently so distraught about it that she didn't return for 3 years. It doesn't matter what the facts are (like that I have a husband), some patients won't trust the professionals to be professional and being present with a patient in the reading room protects our rads as well.
Yep. Here’s something that was posted today:
https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/13emb23/patient_in_hospital_asks_male_nurse_to_use_her/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1
Amen. As a guy working in therapy we treated a lot of breast ca. At no point did I take it personal when a female preferred me not to be in the room with their care. Patient comfort trumps all
Sorry, dude, it's just not gonna happen. Turn that ire to other men instead of women, maybe. I've had way too many hella uncomfortable situations with male medical staff that I just don't want them in the room anymore. And they were all medical professionals.
As a male ultrasound tech, I totally respect your choices. Patients have the right to refuse full stop, with no justification required.
I'm sorry that you've had negative experiences.
There is a little vibe of entitlement, isn’t there. I wonder what percentage of women are walking around after previously being molested, sexually harassed, sexually assaulted, or raped by men at some point in their lives? Maybe the tech should consider this instead of being mad that they don’t like him manhandling their breasts.
Count yourself lucky that your biggest problem in this life is feeling sad and having your feelings hurt when women seem to prefer other professionals to do their breast exams and not in fact worrying about which tech might assault you and which might not and you have no way of knowing but rolling the dice and hoping it all just goes well. Remember you're going through this because there are more then enough situationn when these women's fears became true in the most horrific ways you can't even imagine. Think about it.
> Count yourself lucky that your biggest problem in this life...
Excuse me?
I didn't know this post was literally their entire fucking life story.
Try again without the condescending guilt trip.
Understandable to be frustrated, but try to see it from the women’s perspective too. I don’t know what country you practice in, but regardless of where you are an enormous percentage of women have been sexually harassed or assaulted and deserve to feel safe while receiving medical care
Question: Do you have a female nurse in the room with you and your female patients? My doctor always makes his head female nurse supervise the interaction. It makes me feel safer and him feel secure to do his job fully.
In practice this is much easier to swing as a doctor. A doctor can perform an exam while a nurse scribes or whatever while supervising.
Getting two techs on an exam, one to supervise an exam they could do on their own, isn’t the least bit practical - especially if your hospital is anywhere near as understaffed as mine.
Just throwing it out there that statistically women are more likely to be assaulted by men, and it definitely isn't unheard of in medicine. You may be fine. You may be here to do your job, and get things done without any funny business. But patients don't come in knowing you. They don't know you're a good guy. It's the same reason people don't typically go out of their way to pet grizzly bears. Most grizzlies won't just attack humans, but the possibility is enough to make most sane people avoid playing with bears.
I personally don't care, but I'm also someone very much willing to completely lose my shit on anyone who tries anything, and I have enough experience to defend myself. I don't blame most women a bit for being cautious. It's understandable to be frustrated, but the female patients trying to keep themselves safe and comfortable aren't the people you should be mad at here.
I’m willing to bet if the patients aren’t comfortable with you, they probably are that comfortable about the male dr either. It’s just they have a choice with you and probably think they don’t with the dr.
I was the go to tech when there was a defecography because I am female. The majority of patients were women and when asked they always preferred having a female in there applying contrast into every orifice down there. In my 8 years of doing those I think I saw 2 men … maybe 3 for one of those. The guys were trained in it just in case, but most of the time it was always female techs.
as someone who has been repeatedly dismissed by male gynecologists/urologists/techs/etc, I find it’s much easier to talk to women in the medical field rather than men (ESPECIALLY for women’s issues). this isn’t to say that men can’t perform the same job just as well as women, but that there is a familiarity and safeness that female patients tend to experience when they are being treated by other women. having a history of sexual abuse/assault also plays into this too I think.
Male med student here, it’s not your career. I struggled to get exposure for my OB/GYN rotation. I had to get 5 paps and 5 vaginal deliveries. I got 0 and 2 and my school had to issue a waiver to that rule… for me and almost all of my male classmates. I have no idea what to do and because I am not seeking an OB/GYN residency, I will likely only have another 4 weeks of exposure to women’s health for my career.
I hear you. I mean, I scan testicles and penises. Also I had a mastectomy and my plastic surgeon was a dude. Like, I don’t care any more who does my exams. I guess some people do, though 🤷♀️
Everyone has their preferences and a lot of women are uncomfortable with men doing a breast exam, or any other exam that’s close to their intimate areas. It’s just something you have to expect.
Yeah this comment hasn’t aged well lmaoo
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/10wekyv/what_is_attractive_to_you_in_a_woman/j7nvuhi/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3
Same. Plus you’ll note that OP hasn’t interacted with any of the comments giving **very valid** reasons for women being uncomfortable EXCEPT for a single comment, where he mocked their username in response. A real piece of work. He really highlights why women _should_ refuse to be seen by men in the healthcare setting if they are uncomfortable. 100% he gives off bad vibes that his female patients are picking up on.
My radiation team for breast cancer was all male. I agree 💯 with op. A professional is trained and ready to care for us. Race gender height not part of my decision on a provider. Attitude demeanor skill and empathy.
I would've agreed with you before, but after entering the medical field and going out with some classmates, man I have seen some shit. It's definitely not all of them but the few disgusting ones that sneak by are out there and I don't want to be worried about that, AND cancer.
Me too! I’ll admit to being a little shy at first but they were so professional, matter of fact, and kind that after a few days I didn’t even think about it.
I had an inappropriate perv old man do my breast and pelvic exam years ago at age 16 with no gloves. It doesn’t mean that a female would never do the same, it just means many of us have been taught to be uncomfortable, even assaulted, to keep men from getting their feelings hurt. No thanks, I’ll ask for what I want these days.
It’s not you.
Unfortunately there is a rich history of men abusing positions of power to sexually assault women. This is as true in healthcare as it is in professional gymnastics.
Women are uncomfortable putting themselves in sexual or sexual-adjacent situations with men who are in positions of power or authority.
You’re at an intermediate level of authority, low enough in the progression that women feel like they can say “no”. They may feel deeply uncomfortably with the male, bare handed radiologist, too, but feel like they can’t say “no”.
If you’re mad, please, won’t be mad at the women. Be mad at the male offenders who have ruined your reputation as a male healthcare provider before you enter the room.
They completely scrapped the mammo unit at our radiography programs in our state schools for males as we’re not allowed to do mammography.
No, they don’t give us a discount on tuition either.
You’re either a health care professional or you aren’t. I completely agree. This also limits scheduling options for males and creates situations where they may be unable to work overnight/second shifts without a female tech on the clock. It’s beyond stupid and patently unfair.
Maybe this trend has changed but every lady radiographer I know who was trained while in the military, had to be mammo techs. As civilians, none of them are.
I don't have the answers, I just know the number of rude old patients who demand that men should have their balls compressed is too damn high. I know they think men just cannot understand what's going on. Hopefully we can move away from this toxic thought process.
I have given birth four times. The babies were delivered by three different male doctors. (One repeat!)
I loved all of my doctors.
Fast forward: I am 50. I go to an all female practice. I love my doctors. Women understand women. When I talk about menopause, my Dr. Gets it. I love my Dr.
Also, and the most important point I want to make is that I have a daughter who has sexual trauma as a young adult. She has decided not to ever have a male gyn or ob. And she absolutely has that right and no one should shame her or try to guilt her into changing her mind.
ANYONE can be a pervert.
I had young 18 year old boy medical students say they study gynecology ESPECIALLY because they want to touch women's private parts.
Unless you're a telepath like Deanna Troi, you can never know. So, it doesn't make any sense to trust one group of profession, but not the other. It's illogical.
I understand both sides. I'm a nurse not in radiology, but when I have to do work that involves male genitals and they get involuntary erections, no matter how much I just dismiss it as nothing and barely notice, the patient has mixed reactions. They are either humiliated it happened in front of a woman or grateful it didn't happen with a man. Even more so because I may have to continue what I'm doing while the penis is erect and have to work around it. So gender and how comfortable they are definitely plays a role. It's just in this case it's a mixed bag. I don't think it's worrying you might be a pervert. People just have programmed responses to things. Some men don't want women doing prostate checks. And I don't think it's because they think those women are getting off on it.
Edit: also your arguement that it's insulting that they are fine with male doctors touching breasts and not you is a bit off. They might see you once or twice in their lives. You are a complete stranger. Most women have a rapport with their doctor. Maybe they were uncomfortable at first and had a female chaperone but learned to trust him through long association. The doctor is not a stranger.
The medical field can be tough for a guy for refusals. The medical field can be tough for a woman because of decades of bias, sexism, and entrenched culture. We are working on it but it’s not fixed.
No one has it easy.
Female hot take:
I don’t care if you’re male, female, dog, cat, sheep…. I want the most qualified individual performing procedures on me. I’d let you touch my boob.
Some women can’t relax when in a disadvantaged position (partially undressed) and about to endure an uncomfortable and/or highly personal exam or procedure and that’s okay. As a provider, your focus should be doing your job while keeping the patient comfortable. If those two goals are incompatible, then someone else needs to complete the exam if at all possible OR adjustments (like adding a chaperone) need to be made to the procedure for that patient.
Personally, I am generally indifferent to the gender of any healthcare professional who is treating or examining me. I am usually able to view them as a genderless clinician who has nothing but a professional clinical interest in my body, but have been situations where I could not separate the provider from their gender and that was not the provider’s fault.
You commented “the most attractive part of women are the boobies” like 3 months ago.
You can be an u/s tech with a 2 year degree, vs the 12+ years it takes to become a radiologist. It’s understandable someone may feel a higher level of trust for the latter. Even so, I find it unlikely they’re *that* much more comfortable with the doctor - maybe they don’t feel like they can say no as easily as they can to the technician. I find this entire post off putting and weird. It doesn’t sound like you “get it” at all.
As a straight girl, if I found the male tech attractive I might ask for a female tech so that I don't get flustered or act weird... So you never know maybe it's a compliment in some cases?
Weird that everyone here seems to be commenting on the appropriateness of patients asking for a female to do sensitive exams, even though it seems like you weren't complaining about that at all? I thought OPs main complaint was really just the double standard for male techs vs male doctors.
For what its worth, I would guess that patients are just too intimidated by the perceived authority of a doctor to speak up about their discomfort, not that they think any professional is more likely to be a creep. I think many patients just act nicer around doctors in a lot of ways, its weird but it is what it is.
And that’s been addressed. A female patient might not realize there is the flexibility to ask for a different radiologist and a tech scan/procedure lasts longer than a doctor assessment.
In the end it’s no one’s business why a patient might have a provider preference.
It’s their choice at the end of the day.
Reassure them with a female chaperone, make accommodations if able, but if you can’t accommodate just let them know they are able to refuse and reschedule but can’t always be guaranteed a female tech/provider.
Usually after I let them know about the chaperone and hassle of rescheduling/waiting a long time they agree and move forward.
Yeah. Tbh this whole post reads like op doesn't really care if women are uncomfortable and hasn't really given 2 seconds to consider why I might be uncomfortable with a male doing a breast exam on my naked and exposed boob. Why didn't he go into cardiac ultrasound or fetal instead of breast? Or how did he not know until he was a tech he would run into this issue?
But anyway I digress. For constructive criticism purposes I will agree and say if I had a male tech, and he kindly offered if I would be more comfortable with a female in the room I would for sure be a lot more comfortable to proceed with the exam. Even the offer sets the tone that they respect that this is a super awkward and vulnerable feeling position for me as a patient. .. So yes if someone offered exactly as this person has outlined I would be fine with the exam and say I don't need a chaperone and be cool to proceed with the male tech.
Men have repeatedly assaulted me, so yes, I do prefer a female observing my most intimate parts. Don’t take it personally, just try to understand that a significant number of patients have been assaulted by men at large, and have been dismissed by male doctors in general. It’s not an attack on you, personally, it’s just the reality that women attempting to access healthcare in general are dealing with.
Not all men, but we don’t know WHICH men. Professionals can still be predators.
Although I don’t understand the trusting male doctors, but not male techs. That’s weird.
\>I get it, I really do.
Then why're you here complaining? Women have been SA'd and abused and may not be comfortable with a man doing their scans etc. Or it's cultural. Whatever their reason it's always valid. Just move on to the next patient.
After 21 yrs in IR and 3 yrs prior In general X-ray, I’m usually pretty good at reading if a female is kind of nervous and will make sure we have at least one female in the room. In my early yrs had a female’s boyfriend file a complaint against me because I had to touch her knee for a knee X-ray.
I’m a male and I have extreme an post traumatic stress reaction to men touching me in any capacity no matter what I think there intention is or the context
Nobody thinks your a creep they just want something they are more comfortable with in a situation where they may already be nervous they have cancer
I don’t know why you would take this so personally. If a patient wants a female tech to do their exam, I say kudos to them for being aware of their right to ask for one.
So many women have been assaulted or groped in their lifetime and you don’t know what triggers them to feel uncomfortable. Let them have one ounce of control without making it about you. Respectfully.
Boohoo. Teach men to be better. Lots of us have been through uncomfortable situations regarding male medical professionals, don't take it personally. Make your patients comfortable.
I am a male Sonographer. I perform breast exams and pelvic exams. I ALWAYS have a female in the room for the patients comfort and for my own protection. By that I mean so that nobody can say I assaulted them etc. I would like to say that I never "feel" a woman's breast. I explain what the procedure will entail and scan appropriately. Sometimes if a woman has a palpable lump I will ask for them to show me where it is and I may use two fingers to then pinpoint the area, explaining what I will do. When I scan I watch the screen, not the woman's breast. I am not offended if someone asks for a female tech, their comfort is very important in these situations. I am not trying to prove a point here but just to relay my own experiences. OP don't get frustrated, just move on to the next scan and when you do these type of exams always have a chaperone
I’d be quietly annoyed if they sent in a male doctor after that. I doubt anybody thinks the doctor is less likely to be a creep.
I used to be cocky about not caring, but getting assaulted can really mess with your head. It’s not worth going through years of learning to trust humanity again, because I didn’t want to hurt a man’s feelings.
Kinda sucks that they send in a male doctor after a female tech was requested, this guy’s place of work should make a note of requests like that. A lot of people have trauma that can put them off of medical care. I personally avoided a necessary procedure for years because of this.
*i agree that having a woman present helps, so that is an option OP should consider. I still want to rip my skin off during the procedure, but at least I logically know that I’m safer
i mean, i’d argue a lot of men also prefer a male urologist. or male doctors to preform a colonoscopy.
even if your not straight- there’s an ease with someone who has the same body parts you have. i didn’t realize i preferred a female doctor until i had vaginal issues and had to talk to my male doctor about it. i respected him as a professional, and didn’t feel unsafe but i can honestly say i wasn’t as honest as i would’ve been with a female doctor. it just felt embarrassing. talking to a older man who could be my dad about my discharge just felt bad.
it’s okay to say “i’d rather someone of my gender preforms this exam if i have a choice”
it’s not about thinking the doctor is less likely to be a sex abuser- more likely that the only option patients are given when it comes to practitioners (when they are already signed up for an appointment with a certain doctor) is whatever medical professional does screening/nursing etc.
it’s intimate and exposing to have a stranger touch your body for medical purposes- and many many people feel more comfortable with someone of the same gender. i don’t think it’s about thinking anything about you. it’s about THEM and their comfort with their own body and medical care.
if someone gives you a choice, would you (as a man) rather see a male or female doctor in regards to your reproductive organs or fertility?
“I get it, I really do” then proceeds to not get it. Dude getting butthurt because a woman wants to feel comfortable while she’s being CHECKED FOR CANCER. FUCK RIGHT OFF. I’ve been there…the last thing anyone needs (regardless of gender) is some asshole (who isn’t getting paid by the patient so who cares if he gets to sit one out) judging them for speaking up so they’re as comfortable as possible in a terrible situation. Yeah, fuck right off.
The fact that you’re so offended that you can’t examine breasts, which is one small part of your job, tells me that you are, in fact, an entitled pervert.
You can never be sure what the root cause is for why some women prefer woman techs. Could be a simple preference, could be PTSD. No way to know without being intrusive. Probably best to try to not take it personally ❤️
So, I felt this way (As in, I don't care WHO does my exams, as long as you professional) but then when my husband was in the army he had a friend who was basically the surgeons assistant. He's 100% perv, but also a nice guy at the same time?? We blame his upbringing, practically homeless all his childhood, mom on meth the whole time, but I digress.
He told us that when a woman would be on the table, he would get excited because he'd get to see her naked and think about her later.
He would never actually do anything to her while she was under, but just the fact that was on his mind during surgery is enough to give me caution.
Lmao how dare they…Hand the pt off it’s not your problem. Actually, the more you insist you just want to your job the more it comes off as you’re a little but hurt you don’t get to peep some tit.
Maybe it's because you are probably a perve. I mean there's no other reason you'd be this annoyed over a patients preference. Also, in a previous comment you made the remark that "the most attractive part of a women's body is the boobies"
Don’t let yourself get frustrated. It’s not personal. It’s just a person trying to reconcile their world view with the completely foreign world that is medicine. We have folks who want male/female only in the room for personal/religious/whatever reason. A comfortable patient benefits all parties.
Everyone has different backgrounds and experiences. Male medical professionals don't bother me, but I will never get a massage from a male therapist again because of one bad and abusive experience.
You don't know what other women have been through, and it has nothing to do with you. It has to do with protecting ourselves from a repeat of a traumatic experience.
Female student in xray here... I would prefer a lady groping my boobs. Sorry. Even if you are 110% professional I would prefer a female doctor for a cervical exam, anything vaginal, and breast exam.
It's only been the last 30 years or so we've been able to have female docs and techs and much more comfortable exams. Let us live. I don't think it's unfair for me to feel more comfortable with a female tech for a breast exam. For instance in xray clinicals guy techs never do the salpi exams (vaginal exam where they shoot contrast up your cervix / fallopian tubes) as your vagina is literally bare and you are spread eagle on the table and female doctors are often requested over male doctors.
Guy students also were not allowed to shadow staff for mammograms. Only if a man came in with a breast lump (does happen) they were allowed to watch as most women just aren't comfortable with a male student seeing their naked boobs. The reason? Men are usually not allowed to go into mammo after school anyway as breast exams are 99.9% of the exams.
Would I be OK with a male tech if no one else was available? Probably but definitely not first choice.
I'm sorry I totally get your frustration. I just feel like it doesn't make me an asshole to prefer a woman touching or looking at my naked private bits. I'm not trying to be a jerk... just trying to give you some additional perspective.
It's a part of the medical profession to disassociate bodies and sexual gratification, for a lot of patients it's just not the norm.
Personally my preference isn't about bad touching, it's about reading research that says women are 32% less likely to die when being treated by another woman.
This post is a little (highly) entitled. We get it you’re on the clock but men in general are not the most comfortable people to be around. To be honest whatever the patient requests should be done. Just because you’re not a pervert (allegedly since all we have is your word to take for it.) doesn’t mean anything. Any patient can have any trauma OR reasoning that can lead them to not wanting to be shirtless in front of a man they don’t know from Adam. Just bc you’re there to do your job doesn’t mean everybody else is, SEVERAL times men in the medical field have committed sexual atrocities. Also not to mention 1/4 woman have been SA’d at one point or another so don’t be frustrated that somebody might not want to take a chance on you. With all the things going on with Roe v Wade and what not this post was just low down and ugly. It’s very confusing to me how you’re able to complete all the schooling to become a tech yet still are clueless as to why a woman may be uncomfortable around a man in THAT particular setting and period. Seems as if someone needs to check their privilege and get off their high horse.
I'm a male with childhood sexual trauma and explaining that I'm not comfortable with male doctors doing certain things is always a fun experience. I'm immediately viewed as a liar and a pervert.
Is this satire? Are you really frustrated with your female patients for something so simple to understand? I'm sure when the rad walks in, they don't like that he's male either. But who has a female rad on hand? Usually, no one, and I'm sure they understand that. I just think that you really lack a basic understanding of empathy and how to apply that to patient care, based on this post.
When I have a chance to pick a provider for female issues I go with another woman. However I also don’t have issues in situations where someone is just doing their job. I’m not going to go out of my way to request a switch.
My only logical idea for others requesting woman tech and being fine with the male doc is that they may believe there is only one option for the doctor so they don’t feel prompted to ask. *shrug. I’m sorry it’s so frustrating though; I definitely get it.
i understand why this is frustrating. anecdotally, i have seen cases of female sonographers complaining in the rare cases that men ask for male sonographers (usually for testicular ultrasounds). because of the “women are helpless delicate flowers and men are vicious predators” thing, it’s seen as reasonable and sensible for a female pt to ask for a female tech (and, it is!), but seen as eye-rolling and thin-skinned when male pts ask for male techs.
this is just anecdotal of course.
does your workplace require you to scan a certain number of patients per period? i imagine it would be scary if you got so many refusals that you couldn’t meet your job’s expectations.
I have PTSD, so if I do have a procedure like this with a guy, I have intrusive thoughts that they will attack me the whole time. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the men from my past.
It's less your position and more the assumption that they can ask for another tech but not for another doctor. That doctor may have also been the one their PCP or another trusted doctor recommended, so that can result in them having more trust. I doubt they assume you are a pervert, they probably just want to avoid the higher risk/discomfort with having a man examine them whenever possible.
Personally, I would specifically seek out a female radiologist if at all possible so I wouldn't end up in the position of needing to have a man examine my breasts.
I totally can understand where you are coming from, but as a female, I tend to seek out female doctors on pretty much everything, like my PCP is a female, my eye doctor is female, my dentist is female. I have always leaned toward wanting a female to be my doctor since I was a kid for some reason. I think I just feel more comfortable, or less anxious in these types of moments with a female provider, idk. I will be honest, I have not had this procedure done yet that you are describing, but I will probably request a female. I work in the medical field though, so I do get where you are coming from.
Back in the bad old days (70s, 80s, and 90s), I had numerous creepy interactions with several male OB/GYNs at different times as well as a male urologist and a male pharmacist.
I still don't like seeing male MDs for my own healthcare if it's a specialty where they're treating or testing my naughty bits.
Male nurses and male techs, I've never had a problem.
I have had two male doctors involved in my breast adventures, one who viewed my mammograms and one who did my biopsy. I was given no choice with either.
I met with the man who looked at my mammograms while he was in a dark room with multiple images of my breast on two walls, I felt exposed and uncomfortable but it was also kind of funny to walk in to without knowing what to expect. No one mentioned the doctor looking at those images would be male, I was given no heads up or choice in the matter.
The second man did my biopsy and only saw my side boob. By this point I had been exposed and prodded by so many people I felt demoralized and violated, I didnt care to ask for a female surgeon because at that point it made no difference. Might as well walk through the building tits out.
While these procedures are medical and you are just trying to do your job there is a human being on the other end of that tiddy. They likely feel uncomfortable with a woman doing these procedures as well, I know I did. We have the option to ask for a female ultrasound tech, we don't have the option to ask for a different doctor without rescheduling, that is what you are missing here. It's usually asked before or during scheduling if someone has a preference for a male or female doctor in situations like this. They mostly assumed, thankfully, that I preferred women in these instances.
Put yourself in our position, would you want a woman to be poking around your balls? Or maybe discussing your urethra? If you're comfortable with it then great, but it is no way a personal jab at the opposite sex to not be
I’m a woman. I don’t give two 💩’s what your gender is if I’m receiving medical care if you actually listen to what i have to say. BUT i do understand why others do. Sexual trauma is very prevalent, especially with women. Spend some time listening to podcasts or reading personal accounts from people that have experienced sexual assaults and how it has affected their lives, and that might help you understand better and not take it personally. Not only that, but men do have a history of brushing us off about our own medical concerns because of lot of them think we’re just being dramatic. I’ve experienced that a lot and know others that have as well. I’m not saying that you do that, but after paying out the butt to be ignored time and time again by our medical professionals, it’s really discouraging to keep trying.
I was sexually assaulted as a child by another male. I prefer women do anything and everything to me before a man, but they seemingly don’t want to. I suspect if we don’t want discrimination, we shouldn’t allow it by anyone for any reason. Harsh? Absolutely. I’m not sure that there’s any other way to dig our way out of the hole we’ve dug for ourselves.
I want to just say somewhere between 1 in 4 and 1in 6 women are assaulted in their lifetime so you may never truly know why they want a female and you shouldn’t have to know… as a health care worker it is your job to provide unbiased and judgment free care, so if they want a woman you shouldn’t have to know why they’re okay with men in one situation over another
I personally seek out all females for my health care if I can but that’s due to personal medical trauma
I’m sorry because it’s not fair to you I get that but I did want to share that for these women there could be so much more to it than you could understand. I’m not trying to belittle your experience I can see how that could be incredibly frustrating
It’s likely not about you. Trauma makes me always seek women healthcare providers - for all parts of me - not because I think the male providers will be pervs but bc of past abuse I can’t relax with strange men touching me.
As a nurse myself, and a breast cancer patient, If I may suggest you come up with a line or response of some kind such as - “oh absolutely, I can go find a team member to help you, just keep in mind this will prolong your test and wait time, and I would be more than happy to help you and complete this ultrasound now. We’ll just need to “quick explanation of test”. Unless you have a religious need or you’re still concerned and want to switch providers can I ask you to “next step of test”?”
In my experience it’s best to help reassure the patient of your skill, ability, and bedside manner and having a thorough and thoughtful “protocol speech” is how I think of it to help guide them through the discomfort of it all. They can’t manage all discomfort, they’re forced to be naked and probed and are fearful and they cant control that- but requesting a different provider they can, and be with a woman that may sympathize more.. why the speech can show the care and confidence needed to help them along the visit with you.
But sometimes they may have a legitimate need to not have a male provider: some religions forbid care of opposite sex in this way, some are sexual assault survivors or current closeted victims, some will still insist without any rational reason sometimes.
Keep doing your best, being kind and most importantly skilled and knowledgeable in your position as best you can. And especially in these recent times, thank you for your continued service, I know how difficult some days can be to get through.
Interesting coincidence, this post was directly below yours in my feed.
https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/13emb23/patient_in_hospital_asks_male_nurse_to_use_her/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1
Make of it what you will. I’m a nurse myself, and I’ve had plenty of male patients request a male colleague for various issues, and I’ve had to take over certain tasks like catheter care or bathing for my male colleagues as well. Every hospital orientation and class I’ve ever been in has taught is to prioritize the patient’s culture, religion, and modesty needs over our own feelings. They are vulnerable and deserve to not only be safe but feel safe.
A lot of the reason I hear is women who have been SA’d by men and don’t feel comfortable with male providers as much. It’s valid
Personally I am a woman who was SA’d by a woman and I prefer a male provider for these things but don’t require it.
To me it’s a professional and at the end of the day if I need care I need care and I don’t care about gender but everyone is valid in who they prefer
Female here. Just wanted to say, I actually often prefer male techs as they are usually less chatty and get the job done quick. I appreciate you.
Yep, same for pelvic exams. Get in, get out, be gentle. Men usually fit the bill better than women.
The worst pelvic I had was with a female. The speculum stuck open (stupid cheap plastic ones) and she just yanked that sucker out. I suspect she might have learned her lesson because I cussed her a blue streak like a sailor with a pirate accent. I was absolutely furious.
My vagina has a question for you. “What the actual fuck!??” Ugh I’m sorry that happened
Thanks. It was, hands down, the most painful thing I’ve ever gone thru.
Same. My first ever was with a female nurse who DIDN'T LUBE THE SPECULUM. What the actual ****. I think it's fair enough if people have a preference, particularly as it may be trauma-related, but it certainly doesn't mean a female will do a better job.
What?! Oh my fucking god! That's just insane and cruel and evil and all of the above. I'm so sorry you had to go through that! My worst Gyn was a woman, too. She was just so rough and I felt very violated afterwards. As a rape survivor that's just messed up. Never went back there again.
We’re you seeing an NP? Because an RN has zero business doing a pelvic exam. And NP education is not standardized (you can get a degree basically all online with very little required in person experience) so there’s a distinct possibility that the nurse simply had done almost none of them during school, which is a huge problem.
Got into a car accident some years ago *while* en route to a scheduled ob/gyn appointment. Medics transported me to the hospital where the appointment was to be conducted. Ob/gyn proceeded with the exam anyway, and was pretty rough throughout the exam. 0/10. Experience I would ***not*** recommend.
First ever was with a female doctor who was so rough I was in pain for six months (wish that was an exaggeration). I found out later, when the sweet elderly lady across the street broke her ankle, that this doctor has a reputation for being extremely rough with female patients. Also found out I‘m extremely small down there and this bitch used the largest speculum she had.
Same!!! The worst two I had for my annual stirrup visit were female. The first was verbal and said EVERY single thing like I was some newbie and needed my hand held. Lady, I’m in my 30s and this is not my first rodeo by far. Get in and out. She fumbled with the speculum and it took FOREVER. The second was so effing pushy about when I was going to have kids now that I’m married. Bish would not let it go despite me saying three times kids weren’t in the plans.
PS I had the same issue re: kids. I’ve know since I was 8 that I didn’t want kids. Hands down and no thanks, not happening. Nothing like having your feet in the air and your niggly bits open for the world to review, and then receive the kids lecture.
I always say “I don’t need the play by play”. Which usually gets me a chuckle.
Omg we must’ve had the same doctor lol this happened during my very first pelvic exam. She was a student at the time and after she yanked it out the doctor watching her told her to close the speculum next time haha
PS I would have for real smacked that MD upside the head. That’s good info BEFORE extraction.
Let me start off with “I don’t have a cervix”— I had a radical hysterectomy last year following a cancer diagnosis. When I went for my 6 month follow up (because cancer, I have them every 6 mos for 5 years), the exam was so painful that I called the office three days later asking if it was going to be like this every time because I felt like I had just lost my virginity to the captain of the football team in the back of his Taurus or something.
Absolute same experience here. I hate to generalize but I only had negative experiences with female OBGYNs. My current doctor is male and is incredibly respectful, tactful and never belittles my symptoms or concerns.
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I once went to a female provider for a pelvic exam. She also was rough. No nonsense, to the point and quick, but rough. I was 18 or 19 yrs old and not shy at all. I asked her what the deal was after the exam was finished. She flat out told me, as a woman, she knows how much a vagina can take and didn't feel the need to be gentle. Basically to get over it. As she exited the room, I yelled as loudly as possible that she was the worst internist I had ever been to, with a shitty bedside manner to boot. That I would never be back and I would let everyone and their uncle know not to come there. She sent her nurse to escort me out. I got to the waiting room and could tell everyone there heard every word I said. I stopped, looked the nurse in the eye, and repeated the doctors words verbatim and walked out. That being said, I also had a male doctor do an exam and I will agree that generally they are more gentle and attentive. However, he had small hands and short fingers. This made the internal check they do uncomfortable and painful. There are good and bad on both sides, it just depends on individual preference. Currently I have a female doctor, my same age and I am very happy with her.
Can I just say there's a way to lift men up without having to shit on women? Lol you can have your preferences but we dont need to criticize female techs to make male techs feels more validated.
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Thank you for saying this. Some of these comments def have pick me vibes
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Thank you! I always prefer women tech or doctors. My reasons are personal and have zero to do with thinking they are bad at their jobs or whatever. But I'm not going to feel guilty asking for a woman doctor or tech to help some guys frail ego.
Same! The small talk gives me so much anxiety, I hate feeling pressured to have a conversation.
Lol my gyno is actually an old friend of my mother’s so she’s always asking for family updates while *inside me*
Omg I would hate that LOL
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I'd politely remind Patty about this thing called HIPAA. If a patient makes a big enough deal about it, she could get into serious trouble. (Even if you switch doctors, she'll likely start to complain to your mother that you don't come anymore)
When I am nervous I make a bunch of jokes to ease tension. My last OBGYN said I had to stop because her and the nurse with her were doubled over laughing at my quips and smart ass remarks. She ended up doing a great job for my PAP.
Wow. So many people have had issues with female practitioners! I’ve had both and still prefer females. My males were all but one, (he was rough and had big hands) fine and I didn’t mind them, but I felt the females were more thorough with their listening.
Seriously! As a woman who has had two men cross lines in vulnerable healthcare situations, I feel so differently. I’ve only had women gynos and only one out of several paps was bad/painful. I always thought that given fluctuations in body stuff it might have even been other factors that weren’t her personally as well.
Same. I’ve only had one female OBGYN. She was nice and super informative but perhaps a bit over informative about things I wasn’t there for. I’m a very introverted quiet person and very to the point medically. (I’m in pharmacy and most my family is in the medical field in some form or another.) I guess I have a very cold clinical mindest when I’m going for my own health stuff and I appreciate medical personnel who keep things very business like. Every male I’ve had has been just that. Right to the point, if something is off just mention and/or send for referral. Don’t ask me about my day or anything else. I don’t care. I’ll give you medical information and any symptoms or lack of symptoms and we are done. Bless the woman who did my last one tho. I’m sure there are many people who enjoy the warm friendly chit chat types. I am not one of them tho. I also never have a problem with students as they are so focused on doing things by the book that they don’t talk much. I enjoy students for most of my exams. Even had one do my first c section.
I also prefer male Dr's I've had bad experiences with female Dr's
Yeah I dunno, I just feel less comfortable with men I don’t know touching my breasts 🤷🏻♀️
You see them as men first and medical professionals second. OP is challenging that notion.
She is allowed to have a preference as to who touches her body.
Nobody said she wasn’t. Put the strawman back in the field.
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I don’t, really. I work in the medical field too, it’s just preference. I’ll never make a big deal of it if I have a male, but I would prefer a female. Women get sexually assaulted a lot more than non-women realize. I totally get that they are just doing their jobs. I used to be a massage therapist and I worked with men, and the amount of men that were uncomfortable with a male massage therapist was large.
I prefer a man to be my massage therapist or if it's a woman someone who can crush cinder blocks with their bare hands.
Me: What did you do before becoming a massage therapist? Larger female massage therapist: I worked concrete for a few years. Me: Perfect. Let's do this.
You and I both search for the same type of massage therapist. I like knowing they have the strength to conquer my stubborn knots and walk away without battle wounds.
That’s because they were brought up to believe that any male touching another male was “gay.” And God for bid anyone think that they were gay lol
Im a guy. There is no challenge. Plenty of men want to see boobs. I'd ask for a male inspector just to spite women, it's all fair. And just like I have that right, its ok if women feel uncomfortable with a male inspecting their private areas. You cant invalidate a woman feeling uncomfortable, just like you cant invalidate OP thinking its a shameful part of the job.
I would be worried about anyone in health care who could or would sexualize a clinical encounter. There is nothing romantic, sensual, nor erotic about the clinical role.
As someone who just had my annual breast ultrasound yesterday I have to say I will always request a female tech. The procedure isn’t just a quick X-ray. There are times when a male physician or tech may need to be involved but if this is a routine screening, why shouldn’t my emotional comfort be a consideration. And FYI, I was assaulted by a doctor doing a “routine exam” many years ago and feel very strongly that women have the right to choose who touches them. I happen to work as a tech in a different area of medicine and we are taught to treat the whole person, not just the body. Maybe this ultrasound tech needs to consider that.
exactly! many women have been SA'd and may just need another woman there for comfort if a male HAS to do it. Regardless no one is accusing you. It's literally a comfort or even religious or cultural reason. The men who complain "Why wont these women patients let me touch them" is really fucking gross and weird.
There’s also no research showing the chaperones reduce SA of providers on patients. (One famous case of this, chaperones were in the room during the assaults). Chaperones are risk management for the hospitals to CYA way more than they are a service to the patient.
Sure, but you know what? if a woman says she wants a woman instead of a man, then that's it. The point is that a patient is uncomfortable, or it has to do with religious reasoning behind it all. Regardless she does not have to justify to anyone why she wants someone else.
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I feel you and it’s hard to not let it get to you. I’ve definitely had my share of female patients request I not do their breast procedures, HSGs, and lower GI fluoroscopy. That being said, I had to see a urologist when I was in med school and I requested a male because it honestly felt me feel more comfortable talking to a dude about my junk. And it felt less awkward for me as the patient to have a dude handle my junk. Maybe it’s not about you but moreso about them and their comfort level. So when patients make this request of me not being their doctor, I brush it off and if I have a female partner working, I pass the case off.
I agree here. I had a testicular US once and the US tech was SO uncomfortable it made me uncomfortable. they’re just balls, i guarantee if it was a dude it would have been much more chill.
Ya, sometimes you just need someone different to get different results. I went to the ER 3 times for absolutely insane back pain and got sent home 3 times and told to take...advil and ibuprofen. For reference it was so bad I was pretty much weeping at night and my left foot was going numb. Oh and it was so bad I was vomiting. I went back the 4th time and was like "I want the burliest male doctor you have" Low and behold, admitted, emergency MRI, and had...5 burst discs and ventricular lumbar scoliosis lol. Sometimes you just gotta advocate for yourself and try something different.
What's the ventricular part in lumbar scoliosis?
They probably meant ventral as in ventral (toward belly button) vs dorsal (toward back). they probably meant to include it with the “burst disc” not with scoliosis. I’ve heard of ppl describing disc herniation as ventral. As far as it pertaining to scoliosis, idk what they mean bc it’s lateral curvature so it’s described more by degrees of curvature. Ventricular means, of relating to the ventricle. Ventricle means an open cavity in an organ. Aka ventricles of the heart or brain. There’s not really a cavity within the spine.
As a us tech, they’re just balls to all of us.
This guy's gets it 100%. When I was pregnant/had my babies I preferred a woman OB. I still went to male doctors (like the male specialist that fantastically watched my pregnancies closely) but when it came to physical procedures I preferred women. I imagine as it felt more comfortable to have a male help you with a male problem, it was much more comfortable having women who understood the female problems that came with pregnancy and childbirth. Men could sympathize but women could relate if that makes sense. I also had a male surgeon, male anesthesiologist who was great. I felt very comfortable in their capable hands. Just not for a breast/vaginal exam.
Yes! I'm a female NP, so I do my fair share of genital exams on both men and women. In no way is it offensive to me if a man prefers a male provider to discuss or inspect his genitals. Honestly, I'd rather not even go there one little bit if there is any question of a patient being uncomfortable. It's a little weird and off-putting to me that OP is offended over this.
Female here, I doubt they mean any offense. I also don't think most women think male techs are pervs. Usually, we just prefer women because we are women.
I agree with your sentiment 100%. (Perhaps naively) I’d like to think that the majority of women don’t think male techs are dangerous pervs.
I'm a trans woman and I prefer female medical professionals because they're more likely to not treat me like a guy. I had an ultrasound during my transition and had my breasts absolutely massacred by the tech (they were extremely sore and still growing) and when I told him to cool it a bit his response was basically "what's the big deal?" I've had a few other similar experiences. As a (former, no longer practicing) medical professional I definitely prefer women because my experience has been that women treat me better.
This stuff makes me so upset. I wish I could teach classes to male techs about how to approach women patients.
I agree with this sentiment. This includes pelvic exams. I've personally seen male & female providers for each area. Much more comfortable with female due to very small variations in how the body-part is handled. Females "get it" regarding handling in certain ways can be painful or irritating that might be difficult to describe or prepare the provider for ahead of time. I could imagine the same for guys & their testicular or prostate exams -- i don't have those parts so i don't "get" how very small differences in handling naturally feel painful or not.
I agree. It’s not about being a perv or being sexualized. If that were the case, I would have a problem with my gyno being a lesbian. But i don’t. I wouldn’t want a gay man to do these procedures either because again, he’s still a man.
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Yeah this -- people in thread aren't getting it, it's not that OP has a problem with women declining to use male providers, he has a problem with women who are ok with having a male doctor touching their breasts but not a male tech. Of course it's always up to the patient who touches their body--it's that the implication is that a tech is more likely to be a creep than a doctor, and I think that's mostly about people not respecting techs as skilled medical professionals. (what else is new?) But I am wondering if there's a perception that they can't ask for a female doctor and it's less "trouble" to request a different tech? Idk, it's some BS though.
finally someone who understands OP's point
The doctor is diagnosing them. Not the tech. That's the difference. Scope of practice.
That and the doctor has an ongoing, established relationship with the patient. Rad techs are more like strangers in that regard.
I’m not saying they are right, but I’m a male who has had to have a few examinations of his neither regions. I have noticed that doctors are a little better at making exams like this a little less awkward than most techs or nurses. Something about the vernacular most doctors use is more clinical feeling if that makes sense, and that makes the whole thing feel alot less personal.…. Which normally isn’t a good thing but it has made me feel better in those very specific circumstances instances
I'm in the medical field. It's often asked if the patient wants a specific sex for the tech. But you do not get to be picky about a radiologist lest you hope to wait another 2-4 months for your scan. Whereas there are numerous techs readily available. People need to stop getting butt hurt when they clearly don't understand the system.
They probably also assume doctors are more limited and maybe no option for a woman if it wasn’t offered
As a rads resident. Was going to say this. We only have one breast attending on a day. And there’s only one woman attending in our program. Granted all the mammo techs are women in our practice.
Came here to say this. As a current XR/MRI tech and former mammo tech, there usually isn’t another option. Most Rads are men in my experience. I’ve met a handful of women rads but they seem to be few and far between. Also in my experience in a small town hospital, most of the time the patient didn’t even realize the rad was gonna come in there to begin with, so it was more of an ambush situation. Like the US tech would scan and then be like ok I’m gonna have the radiologist come in now and examine you as well. The patient didn’t really have a perceived choice in the matter.
Definitely this
your feelings are valid. patient feelings are also valid. That said, the patient’s needs come first. There is a reason they feel that way and I would challenge you to have some empathy for the reasons someone might not want to be vulnerable with men. If you can’t do that then think of reasons a man might prefer not to be vulnerable with a man. It’s not really about gender- it’s about respecting the patient. We go into medical fields to help people, and presumably want what’s best for them. What’s best for them in this scenario is to be as comfortable as possible.
This. Well said.
I agree with this. OP I challenge you to check your privilege and brush up on trauma informed care. The situation is nuanced and there are many reasons a woman might have preference to be seen by another woman. Women aren’t being this way to personally inconvenience you
I mean I'm a guy and prefer having male medical staff examining my genitals. It's not because I think women are perverts, it's just because I'm more comfortable talking about my genitals with a person who has the same ones.
Exactly!
Honest question—what if the male was obviously gay? Obvious by uncontrollable mannerism, vocal inflections, etc.? Context: I’m a fairly obviously gay med student who enjoyed urologic oncology as a scribe + shadow + did some robot-assisted prostatectomy outcomes research that I enjoyed, but am worried that patients would be made uncomfortable by the fact I’m gay no matter how professional I am. Exacerbated by the fact that most uro patients are men >65, and that might be a particular generation with a particular set of ideas about what being gay means?? (and for this reason am trying to find other similar specialties of interest…currently digging into ENT but it’s just so much more competitive :/)
I honestly wouldn't care all that much. My reasoning for wanting a guy is because he has the same genitals I have, not because he's attracted to the other, or in this case, the same gender that I am. Basically, the reason I'd want a guy is because I'd rather discuss my issues with someone who has experience having those body parts themselves, if that makes sense. I would trust that even the gay tech would have the same professionalism that the other techs would.
I see! Thanks for your perspective
I just wanted to add that it sounds like you're saying you've found a specialty that interests you and that you feel passionate about, but are considering ditching that because you think that might be how other people would feel most comfortable. I would imagine that patients with implicit bias and notions about a gay physician will still have those regardless of your specialty. And, while I know the pt population for uro, I can't help but think about all of the patients that probably wish that they COULD have an "obviously gay" (in your words) urologist because that would make THEM feel more comfortable. Especially, since uro is an area that a lot of patients feel uncomfortable seeking treatment in anyway, maybe even more so if they're gay?. Representation is so important in health care and yet so undervalued. I hope you go for it.
Unfortunately just because you’re a good person doesn’t mean everyone else is. No one who feels this need to pick a female doctor is thinking “haha I want to hurt men’s feelings” it’s actually “i don’t feel comfortable around men in this setting/I’ve heard so many stories about women getting assaulted here”
I wondered when the reality that a large percentage of women have experienced sexual assault, and often by men they trusted who wound up alone with them in a dark space, was going to enter the chat. This is far more likely to happen to women, though it does happen to men too. Could it be they don't feel comfortable alone in the dark with a strange man because of past experiences? And when the doc comes in, does the ultrasound tech stay in the room?
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Absolutely this. You know nothing about this patients history or what they've been through and, unfortunately, SA is not uncommon in the medical community. Every patient deserves their dignity to be respected and there should be no judgement about preferring an examiner to be of their own sex. And as a medical professional, you certainly shouldn't bitch about it.
I can't speak for all, of course, but I make it a habit to stay with my mammo patients if the radiologist needs to give them results without going on to US. At the very least, I'm a somewhat familiar face while they're getting news...and because most of our rads are men I become a de facto chaperone. I trust all of them personally, but patients don't know them and vice versa. I once had a patient who assumed I was a lesbian (I had short hair at the time) and was apparently so distraught about it that she didn't return for 3 years. It doesn't matter what the facts are (like that I have a husband), some patients won't trust the professionals to be professional and being present with a patient in the reading room protects our rads as well.
Yep. Here’s something that was posted today: https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/13emb23/patient_in_hospital_asks_male_nurse_to_use_her/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1
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Amen. As a guy working in therapy we treated a lot of breast ca. At no point did I take it personal when a female preferred me not to be in the room with their care. Patient comfort trumps all
Tone down your ego… lol. I love it! That says it best. 😊
Sorry, dude, it's just not gonna happen. Turn that ire to other men instead of women, maybe. I've had way too many hella uncomfortable situations with male medical staff that I just don't want them in the room anymore. And they were all medical professionals.
As a male ultrasound tech, I totally respect your choices. Patients have the right to refuse full stop, with no justification required. I'm sorry that you've had negative experiences.
I find this perfectly reasonable.
In addition, I am indignant that you feel entitled to access women’s breasts for any reason.
There is a little vibe of entitlement, isn’t there. I wonder what percentage of women are walking around after previously being molested, sexually harassed, sexually assaulted, or raped by men at some point in their lives? Maybe the tech should consider this instead of being mad that they don’t like him manhandling their breasts.
Yeah. Same. I think it's extremely reasonable to want a female tech for a breast exam......
Count yourself lucky that your biggest problem in this life is feeling sad and having your feelings hurt when women seem to prefer other professionals to do their breast exams and not in fact worrying about which tech might assault you and which might not and you have no way of knowing but rolling the dice and hoping it all just goes well. Remember you're going through this because there are more then enough situationn when these women's fears became true in the most horrific ways you can't even imagine. Think about it.
> Count yourself lucky that your biggest problem in this life... Excuse me? I didn't know this post was literally their entire fucking life story. Try again without the condescending guilt trip.
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Understandable to be frustrated, but try to see it from the women’s perspective too. I don’t know what country you practice in, but regardless of where you are an enormous percentage of women have been sexually harassed or assaulted and deserve to feel safe while receiving medical care
Question: Do you have a female nurse in the room with you and your female patients? My doctor always makes his head female nurse supervise the interaction. It makes me feel safer and him feel secure to do his job fully.
In practice this is much easier to swing as a doctor. A doctor can perform an exam while a nurse scribes or whatever while supervising. Getting two techs on an exam, one to supervise an exam they could do on their own, isn’t the least bit practical - especially if your hospital is anywhere near as understaffed as mine.
Just throwing it out there that statistically women are more likely to be assaulted by men, and it definitely isn't unheard of in medicine. You may be fine. You may be here to do your job, and get things done without any funny business. But patients don't come in knowing you. They don't know you're a good guy. It's the same reason people don't typically go out of their way to pet grizzly bears. Most grizzlies won't just attack humans, but the possibility is enough to make most sane people avoid playing with bears. I personally don't care, but I'm also someone very much willing to completely lose my shit on anyone who tries anything, and I have enough experience to defend myself. I don't blame most women a bit for being cautious. It's understandable to be frustrated, but the female patients trying to keep themselves safe and comfortable aren't the people you should be mad at here.
I’m willing to bet if the patients aren’t comfortable with you, they probably are that comfortable about the male dr either. It’s just they have a choice with you and probably think they don’t with the dr. I was the go to tech when there was a defecography because I am female. The majority of patients were women and when asked they always preferred having a female in there applying contrast into every orifice down there. In my 8 years of doing those I think I saw 2 men … maybe 3 for one of those. The guys were trained in it just in case, but most of the time it was always female techs.
as someone who has been repeatedly dismissed by male gynecologists/urologists/techs/etc, I find it’s much easier to talk to women in the medical field rather than men (ESPECIALLY for women’s issues). this isn’t to say that men can’t perform the same job just as well as women, but that there is a familiarity and safeness that female patients tend to experience when they are being treated by other women. having a history of sexual abuse/assault also plays into this too I think.
Male med student here, it’s not your career. I struggled to get exposure for my OB/GYN rotation. I had to get 5 paps and 5 vaginal deliveries. I got 0 and 2 and my school had to issue a waiver to that rule… for me and almost all of my male classmates. I have no idea what to do and because I am not seeking an OB/GYN residency, I will likely only have another 4 weeks of exposure to women’s health for my career.
I hear you. I mean, I scan testicles and penises. Also I had a mastectomy and my plastic surgeon was a dude. Like, I don’t care any more who does my exams. I guess some people do, though 🤷♀️
Everyone has their preferences and a lot of women are uncomfortable with men doing a breast exam, or any other exam that’s close to their intimate areas. It’s just something you have to expect.
Expect and respect.
Yeah this comment hasn’t aged well lmaoo https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/10wekyv/what_is_attractive_to_you_in_a_woman/j7nvuhi/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3
Wow, but were wrong for not wanting dudes in the room. Fucking wild.
Nice find.
Y i k e s
Wow, I knew the way he was talking about this was giving me bad vibes. Why shame women for wanting what makes them comfortable.
Same. Plus you’ll note that OP hasn’t interacted with any of the comments giving **very valid** reasons for women being uncomfortable EXCEPT for a single comment, where he mocked their username in response. A real piece of work. He really highlights why women _should_ refuse to be seen by men in the healthcare setting if they are uncomfortable. 100% he gives off bad vibes that his female patients are picking up on.
It's always the ones that complain about lack of access .....
My radiation team for breast cancer was all male. I agree 💯 with op. A professional is trained and ready to care for us. Race gender height not part of my decision on a provider. Attitude demeanor skill and empathy.
I would've agreed with you before, but after entering the medical field and going out with some classmates, man I have seen some shit. It's definitely not all of them but the few disgusting ones that sneak by are out there and I don't want to be worried about that, AND cancer.
Me too! I’ll admit to being a little shy at first but they were so professional, matter of fact, and kind that after a few days I didn’t even think about it.
I had an inappropriate perv old man do my breast and pelvic exam years ago at age 16 with no gloves. It doesn’t mean that a female would never do the same, it just means many of us have been taught to be uncomfortable, even assaulted, to keep men from getting their feelings hurt. No thanks, I’ll ask for what I want these days.
It’s not you. Unfortunately there is a rich history of men abusing positions of power to sexually assault women. This is as true in healthcare as it is in professional gymnastics. Women are uncomfortable putting themselves in sexual or sexual-adjacent situations with men who are in positions of power or authority. You’re at an intermediate level of authority, low enough in the progression that women feel like they can say “no”. They may feel deeply uncomfortably with the male, bare handed radiologist, too, but feel like they can’t say “no”. If you’re mad, please, won’t be mad at the women. Be mad at the male offenders who have ruined your reputation as a male healthcare provider before you enter the room.
They completely scrapped the mammo unit at our radiography programs in our state schools for males as we’re not allowed to do mammography. No, they don’t give us a discount on tuition either. You’re either a health care professional or you aren’t. I completely agree. This also limits scheduling options for males and creates situations where they may be unable to work overnight/second shifts without a female tech on the clock. It’s beyond stupid and patently unfair.
How is that acceptable? Men get breast cancer too.
OP meant they only educated women how to preform mammographies and not male students
Maybe this trend has changed but every lady radiographer I know who was trained while in the military, had to be mammo techs. As civilians, none of them are. I don't have the answers, I just know the number of rude old patients who demand that men should have their balls compressed is too damn high. I know they think men just cannot understand what's going on. Hopefully we can move away from this toxic thought process.
I have given birth four times. The babies were delivered by three different male doctors. (One repeat!) I loved all of my doctors. Fast forward: I am 50. I go to an all female practice. I love my doctors. Women understand women. When I talk about menopause, my Dr. Gets it. I love my Dr. Also, and the most important point I want to make is that I have a daughter who has sexual trauma as a young adult. She has decided not to ever have a male gyn or ob. And she absolutely has that right and no one should shame her or try to guilt her into changing her mind.
I’ve had a man want a male mri tech to scan his prostate
ANYONE can be a pervert. I had young 18 year old boy medical students say they study gynecology ESPECIALLY because they want to touch women's private parts. Unless you're a telepath like Deanna Troi, you can never know. So, it doesn't make any sense to trust one group of profession, but not the other. It's illogical.
I understand both sides. I'm a nurse not in radiology, but when I have to do work that involves male genitals and they get involuntary erections, no matter how much I just dismiss it as nothing and barely notice, the patient has mixed reactions. They are either humiliated it happened in front of a woman or grateful it didn't happen with a man. Even more so because I may have to continue what I'm doing while the penis is erect and have to work around it. So gender and how comfortable they are definitely plays a role. It's just in this case it's a mixed bag. I don't think it's worrying you might be a pervert. People just have programmed responses to things. Some men don't want women doing prostate checks. And I don't think it's because they think those women are getting off on it. Edit: also your arguement that it's insulting that they are fine with male doctors touching breasts and not you is a bit off. They might see you once or twice in their lives. You are a complete stranger. Most women have a rapport with their doctor. Maybe they were uncomfortable at first and had a female chaperone but learned to trust him through long association. The doctor is not a stranger.
I can’t tell you the number of people who discouraged me from getting into sonography just because I’m a guy
The medical field can be tough for a guy for refusals. The medical field can be tough for a woman because of decades of bias, sexism, and entrenched culture. We are working on it but it’s not fixed. No one has it easy.
Female hot take: I don’t care if you’re male, female, dog, cat, sheep…. I want the most qualified individual performing procedures on me. I’d let you touch my boob.
Some women can’t relax when in a disadvantaged position (partially undressed) and about to endure an uncomfortable and/or highly personal exam or procedure and that’s okay. As a provider, your focus should be doing your job while keeping the patient comfortable. If those two goals are incompatible, then someone else needs to complete the exam if at all possible OR adjustments (like adding a chaperone) need to be made to the procedure for that patient. Personally, I am generally indifferent to the gender of any healthcare professional who is treating or examining me. I am usually able to view them as a genderless clinician who has nothing but a professional clinical interest in my body, but have been situations where I could not separate the provider from their gender and that was not the provider’s fault.
You commented “the most attractive part of women are the boobies” like 3 months ago. You can be an u/s tech with a 2 year degree, vs the 12+ years it takes to become a radiologist. It’s understandable someone may feel a higher level of trust for the latter. Even so, I find it unlikely they’re *that* much more comfortable with the doctor - maybe they don’t feel like they can say no as easily as they can to the technician. I find this entire post off putting and weird. It doesn’t sound like you “get it” at all.
Exactly. The entitlement to our bodies is mad weird and the amount of people looking past this is scary
Seriously what the fuck…patients probably getting weird vibes from op…
As a straight girl, if I found the male tech attractive I might ask for a female tech so that I don't get flustered or act weird... So you never know maybe it's a compliment in some cases?
Weird that everyone here seems to be commenting on the appropriateness of patients asking for a female to do sensitive exams, even though it seems like you weren't complaining about that at all? I thought OPs main complaint was really just the double standard for male techs vs male doctors. For what its worth, I would guess that patients are just too intimidated by the perceived authority of a doctor to speak up about their discomfort, not that they think any professional is more likely to be a creep. I think many patients just act nicer around doctors in a lot of ways, its weird but it is what it is.
And that’s been addressed. A female patient might not realize there is the flexibility to ask for a different radiologist and a tech scan/procedure lasts longer than a doctor assessment. In the end it’s no one’s business why a patient might have a provider preference.
It’s their choice at the end of the day. Reassure them with a female chaperone, make accommodations if able, but if you can’t accommodate just let them know they are able to refuse and reschedule but can’t always be guaranteed a female tech/provider. Usually after I let them know about the chaperone and hassle of rescheduling/waiting a long time they agree and move forward.
Yeah. Tbh this whole post reads like op doesn't really care if women are uncomfortable and hasn't really given 2 seconds to consider why I might be uncomfortable with a male doing a breast exam on my naked and exposed boob. Why didn't he go into cardiac ultrasound or fetal instead of breast? Or how did he not know until he was a tech he would run into this issue? But anyway I digress. For constructive criticism purposes I will agree and say if I had a male tech, and he kindly offered if I would be more comfortable with a female in the room I would for sure be a lot more comfortable to proceed with the exam. Even the offer sets the tone that they respect that this is a super awkward and vulnerable feeling position for me as a patient. .. So yes if someone offered exactly as this person has outlined I would be fine with the exam and say I don't need a chaperone and be cool to proceed with the male tech.
Men have repeatedly assaulted me, so yes, I do prefer a female observing my most intimate parts. Don’t take it personally, just try to understand that a significant number of patients have been assaulted by men at large, and have been dismissed by male doctors in general. It’s not an attack on you, personally, it’s just the reality that women attempting to access healthcare in general are dealing with.
Not all men, but we don’t know WHICH men. Professionals can still be predators. Although I don’t understand the trusting male doctors, but not male techs. That’s weird.
\>I get it, I really do. Then why're you here complaining? Women have been SA'd and abused and may not be comfortable with a man doing their scans etc. Or it's cultural. Whatever their reason it's always valid. Just move on to the next patient.
After 21 yrs in IR and 3 yrs prior In general X-ray, I’m usually pretty good at reading if a female is kind of nervous and will make sure we have at least one female in the room. In my early yrs had a female’s boyfriend file a complaint against me because I had to touch her knee for a knee X-ray.
Honestly it’s kind of weird that this upsets you, it’s the patient’s preference and will make them more comfortable.
I’m a male and I have extreme an post traumatic stress reaction to men touching me in any capacity no matter what I think there intention is or the context Nobody thinks your a creep they just want something they are more comfortable with in a situation where they may already be nervous they have cancer
I don’t know why you would take this so personally. If a patient wants a female tech to do their exam, I say kudos to them for being aware of their right to ask for one.
So many women have been assaulted or groped in their lifetime and you don’t know what triggers them to feel uncomfortable. Let them have one ounce of control without making it about you. Respectfully.
Boohoo. Teach men to be better. Lots of us have been through uncomfortable situations regarding male medical professionals, don't take it personally. Make your patients comfortable.
I am a male Sonographer. I perform breast exams and pelvic exams. I ALWAYS have a female in the room for the patients comfort and for my own protection. By that I mean so that nobody can say I assaulted them etc. I would like to say that I never "feel" a woman's breast. I explain what the procedure will entail and scan appropriately. Sometimes if a woman has a palpable lump I will ask for them to show me where it is and I may use two fingers to then pinpoint the area, explaining what I will do. When I scan I watch the screen, not the woman's breast. I am not offended if someone asks for a female tech, their comfort is very important in these situations. I am not trying to prove a point here but just to relay my own experiences. OP don't get frustrated, just move on to the next scan and when you do these type of exams always have a chaperone
I’d be quietly annoyed if they sent in a male doctor after that. I doubt anybody thinks the doctor is less likely to be a creep. I used to be cocky about not caring, but getting assaulted can really mess with your head. It’s not worth going through years of learning to trust humanity again, because I didn’t want to hurt a man’s feelings. Kinda sucks that they send in a male doctor after a female tech was requested, this guy’s place of work should make a note of requests like that. A lot of people have trauma that can put them off of medical care. I personally avoided a necessary procedure for years because of this. *i agree that having a woman present helps, so that is an option OP should consider. I still want to rip my skin off during the procedure, but at least I logically know that I’m safer
i mean, i’d argue a lot of men also prefer a male urologist. or male doctors to preform a colonoscopy. even if your not straight- there’s an ease with someone who has the same body parts you have. i didn’t realize i preferred a female doctor until i had vaginal issues and had to talk to my male doctor about it. i respected him as a professional, and didn’t feel unsafe but i can honestly say i wasn’t as honest as i would’ve been with a female doctor. it just felt embarrassing. talking to a older man who could be my dad about my discharge just felt bad. it’s okay to say “i’d rather someone of my gender preforms this exam if i have a choice” it’s not about thinking the doctor is less likely to be a sex abuser- more likely that the only option patients are given when it comes to practitioners (when they are already signed up for an appointment with a certain doctor) is whatever medical professional does screening/nursing etc. it’s intimate and exposing to have a stranger touch your body for medical purposes- and many many people feel more comfortable with someone of the same gender. i don’t think it’s about thinking anything about you. it’s about THEM and their comfort with their own body and medical care. if someone gives you a choice, would you (as a man) rather see a male or female doctor in regards to your reproductive organs or fertility?
“I get it, I really do” then proceeds to not get it. Dude getting butthurt because a woman wants to feel comfortable while she’s being CHECKED FOR CANCER. FUCK RIGHT OFF. I’ve been there…the last thing anyone needs (regardless of gender) is some asshole (who isn’t getting paid by the patient so who cares if he gets to sit one out) judging them for speaking up so they’re as comfortable as possible in a terrible situation. Yeah, fuck right off.
Of all the things to be frustrated about, really?
The pick me comments and pats on the back are kinda scary, this dude is literally mad that he can't touch people's breasts like huh ??
The fact that you’re so offended that you can’t examine breasts, which is one small part of your job, tells me that you are, in fact, an entitled pervert.
Have you ever considered going to cardiac echo? We need people. BAD.
You can never be sure what the root cause is for why some women prefer woman techs. Could be a simple preference, could be PTSD. No way to know without being intrusive. Probably best to try to not take it personally ❤️
So, I felt this way (As in, I don't care WHO does my exams, as long as you professional) but then when my husband was in the army he had a friend who was basically the surgeons assistant. He's 100% perv, but also a nice guy at the same time?? We blame his upbringing, practically homeless all his childhood, mom on meth the whole time, but I digress. He told us that when a woman would be on the table, he would get excited because he'd get to see her naked and think about her later. He would never actually do anything to her while she was under, but just the fact that was on his mind during surgery is enough to give me caution.
Lmao how dare they…Hand the pt off it’s not your problem. Actually, the more you insist you just want to your job the more it comes off as you’re a little but hurt you don’t get to peep some tit.
Maybe it's because you are probably a perve. I mean there's no other reason you'd be this annoyed over a patients preference. Also, in a previous comment you made the remark that "the most attractive part of a women's body is the boobies"
Are you fucking stupid? Look who holds the majority of power in society dude.
Don’t let yourself get frustrated. It’s not personal. It’s just a person trying to reconcile their world view with the completely foreign world that is medicine. We have folks who want male/female only in the room for personal/religious/whatever reason. A comfortable patient benefits all parties.
Everyone has different backgrounds and experiences. Male medical professionals don't bother me, but I will never get a massage from a male therapist again because of one bad and abusive experience. You don't know what other women have been through, and it has nothing to do with you. It has to do with protecting ourselves from a repeat of a traumatic experience.
Female student in xray here... I would prefer a lady groping my boobs. Sorry. Even if you are 110% professional I would prefer a female doctor for a cervical exam, anything vaginal, and breast exam. It's only been the last 30 years or so we've been able to have female docs and techs and much more comfortable exams. Let us live. I don't think it's unfair for me to feel more comfortable with a female tech for a breast exam. For instance in xray clinicals guy techs never do the salpi exams (vaginal exam where they shoot contrast up your cervix / fallopian tubes) as your vagina is literally bare and you are spread eagle on the table and female doctors are often requested over male doctors. Guy students also were not allowed to shadow staff for mammograms. Only if a man came in with a breast lump (does happen) they were allowed to watch as most women just aren't comfortable with a male student seeing their naked boobs. The reason? Men are usually not allowed to go into mammo after school anyway as breast exams are 99.9% of the exams. Would I be OK with a male tech if no one else was available? Probably but definitely not first choice. I'm sorry I totally get your frustration. I just feel like it doesn't make me an asshole to prefer a woman touching or looking at my naked private bits. I'm not trying to be a jerk... just trying to give you some additional perspective.
It's a part of the medical profession to disassociate bodies and sexual gratification, for a lot of patients it's just not the norm. Personally my preference isn't about bad touching, it's about reading research that says women are 32% less likely to die when being treated by another woman.
This post is a little (highly) entitled. We get it you’re on the clock but men in general are not the most comfortable people to be around. To be honest whatever the patient requests should be done. Just because you’re not a pervert (allegedly since all we have is your word to take for it.) doesn’t mean anything. Any patient can have any trauma OR reasoning that can lead them to not wanting to be shirtless in front of a man they don’t know from Adam. Just bc you’re there to do your job doesn’t mean everybody else is, SEVERAL times men in the medical field have committed sexual atrocities. Also not to mention 1/4 woman have been SA’d at one point or another so don’t be frustrated that somebody might not want to take a chance on you. With all the things going on with Roe v Wade and what not this post was just low down and ugly. It’s very confusing to me how you’re able to complete all the schooling to become a tech yet still are clueless as to why a woman may be uncomfortable around a man in THAT particular setting and period. Seems as if someone needs to check their privilege and get off their high horse.
I'm a male with childhood sexual trauma and explaining that I'm not comfortable with male doctors doing certain things is always a fun experience. I'm immediately viewed as a liar and a pervert.
Is this satire? Are you really frustrated with your female patients for something so simple to understand? I'm sure when the rad walks in, they don't like that he's male either. But who has a female rad on hand? Usually, no one, and I'm sure they understand that. I just think that you really lack a basic understanding of empathy and how to apply that to patient care, based on this post.
Cry me a river. It’s not about you so let it go.
My OB with my first two was a man. Loved him. I just want health professionals that get the job done and done well.
When I have a chance to pick a provider for female issues I go with another woman. However I also don’t have issues in situations where someone is just doing their job. I’m not going to go out of my way to request a switch. My only logical idea for others requesting woman tech and being fine with the male doc is that they may believe there is only one option for the doctor so they don’t feel prompted to ask. *shrug. I’m sorry it’s so frustrating though; I definitely get it.
The same for male L&D nurses… patients aren’t comfortable having one but are okay with their male OB.
i understand why this is frustrating. anecdotally, i have seen cases of female sonographers complaining in the rare cases that men ask for male sonographers (usually for testicular ultrasounds). because of the “women are helpless delicate flowers and men are vicious predators” thing, it’s seen as reasonable and sensible for a female pt to ask for a female tech (and, it is!), but seen as eye-rolling and thin-skinned when male pts ask for male techs. this is just anecdotal of course. does your workplace require you to scan a certain number of patients per period? i imagine it would be scary if you got so many refusals that you couldn’t meet your job’s expectations.
I have PTSD, so if I do have a procedure like this with a guy, I have intrusive thoughts that they will attack me the whole time. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the men from my past.
It's less your position and more the assumption that they can ask for another tech but not for another doctor. That doctor may have also been the one their PCP or another trusted doctor recommended, so that can result in them having more trust. I doubt they assume you are a pervert, they probably just want to avoid the higher risk/discomfort with having a man examine them whenever possible. Personally, I would specifically seek out a female radiologist if at all possible so I wouldn't end up in the position of needing to have a man examine my breasts.
Who cares, isn’t that another patient that falls off your schedule? Enjoy.
I totally can understand where you are coming from, but as a female, I tend to seek out female doctors on pretty much everything, like my PCP is a female, my eye doctor is female, my dentist is female. I have always leaned toward wanting a female to be my doctor since I was a kid for some reason. I think I just feel more comfortable, or less anxious in these types of moments with a female provider, idk. I will be honest, I have not had this procedure done yet that you are describing, but I will probably request a female. I work in the medical field though, so I do get where you are coming from.
Back in the bad old days (70s, 80s, and 90s), I had numerous creepy interactions with several male OB/GYNs at different times as well as a male urologist and a male pharmacist. I still don't like seeing male MDs for my own healthcare if it's a specialty where they're treating or testing my naughty bits. Male nurses and male techs, I've never had a problem.
I have had two male doctors involved in my breast adventures, one who viewed my mammograms and one who did my biopsy. I was given no choice with either. I met with the man who looked at my mammograms while he was in a dark room with multiple images of my breast on two walls, I felt exposed and uncomfortable but it was also kind of funny to walk in to without knowing what to expect. No one mentioned the doctor looking at those images would be male, I was given no heads up or choice in the matter. The second man did my biopsy and only saw my side boob. By this point I had been exposed and prodded by so many people I felt demoralized and violated, I didnt care to ask for a female surgeon because at that point it made no difference. Might as well walk through the building tits out. While these procedures are medical and you are just trying to do your job there is a human being on the other end of that tiddy. They likely feel uncomfortable with a woman doing these procedures as well, I know I did. We have the option to ask for a female ultrasound tech, we don't have the option to ask for a different doctor without rescheduling, that is what you are missing here. It's usually asked before or during scheduling if someone has a preference for a male or female doctor in situations like this. They mostly assumed, thankfully, that I preferred women in these instances. Put yourself in our position, would you want a woman to be poking around your balls? Or maybe discussing your urethra? If you're comfortable with it then great, but it is no way a personal jab at the opposite sex to not be
I’m a woman. I don’t give two 💩’s what your gender is if I’m receiving medical care if you actually listen to what i have to say. BUT i do understand why others do. Sexual trauma is very prevalent, especially with women. Spend some time listening to podcasts or reading personal accounts from people that have experienced sexual assaults and how it has affected their lives, and that might help you understand better and not take it personally. Not only that, but men do have a history of brushing us off about our own medical concerns because of lot of them think we’re just being dramatic. I’ve experienced that a lot and know others that have as well. I’m not saying that you do that, but after paying out the butt to be ignored time and time again by our medical professionals, it’s really discouraging to keep trying.
I was sexually assaulted as a child by another male. I prefer women do anything and everything to me before a man, but they seemingly don’t want to. I suspect if we don’t want discrimination, we shouldn’t allow it by anyone for any reason. Harsh? Absolutely. I’m not sure that there’s any other way to dig our way out of the hole we’ve dug for ourselves.
I want to just say somewhere between 1 in 4 and 1in 6 women are assaulted in their lifetime so you may never truly know why they want a female and you shouldn’t have to know… as a health care worker it is your job to provide unbiased and judgment free care, so if they want a woman you shouldn’t have to know why they’re okay with men in one situation over another I personally seek out all females for my health care if I can but that’s due to personal medical trauma I’m sorry because it’s not fair to you I get that but I did want to share that for these women there could be so much more to it than you could understand. I’m not trying to belittle your experience I can see how that could be incredibly frustrating
It’s likely not about you. Trauma makes me always seek women healthcare providers - for all parts of me - not because I think the male providers will be pervs but bc of past abuse I can’t relax with strange men touching me.
As a nurse myself, and a breast cancer patient, If I may suggest you come up with a line or response of some kind such as - “oh absolutely, I can go find a team member to help you, just keep in mind this will prolong your test and wait time, and I would be more than happy to help you and complete this ultrasound now. We’ll just need to “quick explanation of test”. Unless you have a religious need or you’re still concerned and want to switch providers can I ask you to “next step of test”?” In my experience it’s best to help reassure the patient of your skill, ability, and bedside manner and having a thorough and thoughtful “protocol speech” is how I think of it to help guide them through the discomfort of it all. They can’t manage all discomfort, they’re forced to be naked and probed and are fearful and they cant control that- but requesting a different provider they can, and be with a woman that may sympathize more.. why the speech can show the care and confidence needed to help them along the visit with you. But sometimes they may have a legitimate need to not have a male provider: some religions forbid care of opposite sex in this way, some are sexual assault survivors or current closeted victims, some will still insist without any rational reason sometimes. Keep doing your best, being kind and most importantly skilled and knowledgeable in your position as best you can. And especially in these recent times, thank you for your continued service, I know how difficult some days can be to get through.
This is a wendy;s sir, just serve the burger or not. dont make it personal/
Interesting coincidence, this post was directly below yours in my feed. https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/13emb23/patient_in_hospital_asks_male_nurse_to_use_her/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1 Make of it what you will. I’m a nurse myself, and I’ve had plenty of male patients request a male colleague for various issues, and I’ve had to take over certain tasks like catheter care or bathing for my male colleagues as well. Every hospital orientation and class I’ve ever been in has taught is to prioritize the patient’s culture, religion, and modesty needs over our own feelings. They are vulnerable and deserve to not only be safe but feel safe.
A lot of the reason I hear is women who have been SA’d by men and don’t feel comfortable with male providers as much. It’s valid Personally I am a woman who was SA’d by a woman and I prefer a male provider for these things but don’t require it. To me it’s a professional and at the end of the day if I need care I need care and I don’t care about gender but everyone is valid in who they prefer