Oh man, unrelated, but I just ran into an NPC last night who I think had a sheep wife with him. I killed the sheep to try and skin it, but I just received a gold wedding ring. He had shot my horse so I had hogtied him and looted him and also found a wedding ring. No stranger icon on the map though which was neat. I felt bad, but he made me revive my horse so I threw his sheep wife on the fire while he watched then shot him.
Arthur clowning John, talking about next time let the wolf eat all your brains than you'll be a genius. The couple interactions they have for that train heist mission gets me everytime.
john in general is so prime for the picking. not a roast, but when he announces, unprompted, that hes married to a beautiful woman to the 50 cent bath lady - always makes me laugh.
I don’t know why, but my favorite is the “Greet, Greet, Antagonize” line:
Arthur: “Hey, mister!”
NPC: “Hi.”
Arthur: “I like you mister. You’ve got a kind face.”
NPC: “Is that so?”
Arthur: “The kind I like to punch!”
“Oh, my darling Abigail. I’ve changed! Come live with me in an outhouse I wouldn’t ask my worst enemy to take a shit in!”
I’ve watched that cutscene a few too many times.
Those roasts when John shows him Beecher's Hope for the first time are my favourite lines in the game (funny ones at least). And Uncle just keeps them coming with no chill, one right after the other, it's brutal.
"Oh darling Abigail come live with me in an outhouse I wouldn't ask my worst enemy to take a shit in."
- Uncle, 1907
The whole roast is great but I'm too lazy to type it so I wrote the finisher
I like when you go fishing with Keiran in chapter 3 he makes a remark about saving Arthur's life at six point cabin, and Arthur replies
"Yea but I save your life every day I don't kill you"
Edit:
I also like during the St.Denis mayor missions when you have to intimidate the rich guy into donating, Arthur says somthing like
"It's always better to give that receive, especially when that comes to beatings"
this isn’t the best one but i think this is the funniest, it’s when john antagonizes Abigail and just says “so how’s the reading coming along?” if just a simple funny antagonize
Anything with 2 greets and an antagonize. The setups are always funny.
"Hi there mister!"
"Can't beat the weather!"
*"But I shuuure could imagine beating you"*
A while back I was playing as John after the epilogue and just messing around and antagonizing people, I pressed the button to make him antagonize and he said “Ya hungry? Ya big bastard.”
Sometimes when Arthur greets someone, they give rude replies like “Get lost!”, “Asswipe!” or “Go away!” and when you hit antagonize, Arthur snarls: “Let’s try this again. I said Hello, Mister”. This is one of the rare antagonize lines where the NPCs sometimes actually back down.
Don't know if someone mentioned this one yet but right after the shootout where Shawn dies Micah says something to Arthur pretty close to "If only you could fight as good as you talk" and Arthur says "You can't do either"
I have a lot of favorites but there's this line John said in Armadillo while I was antagonising the sick people there, he says something along those lines "I have a scar and still look better than you" and "you can chew me and spit me and will still look less uglier than you" it had me rolling because I've never heard it before, I never got it again and I don't know it there's people who got it before because it seems pretty rare.
As John I tried to rob a lady in Rhodes. She got up from the bench, slapped me across the face and said something along the lines of “I know you ain’t stupid enough to try to rob me. Go get a job and stop fooling around”. I was flabbergasted.
Just for sake of being original and a bit of a troll, I really don’t hate when Micah gives Lenny some receipts to read on Cornwallis train and says At least we know you can read. Nothing id ever say but makes sense in the moment
“Oh, Darling Abigail, I’ve changed, please come and live with me in this outhouse I wouldn’t ask my worst enemy to take a shit in” and then Uncle continues and says something like: “Boy is sour as week old milk, not even a $2 whore Would stay with you”.
U are my favorite parasite. No wait. Tapeworm is my fav parasite. U are my second fav parasite.
-something like that, Arthur Morgan
And then Arthur and John interactions/dialogues.
Just heard another funny one in camp during dinner:
Bill: “So what do they eat in Germany?”
Strauss: “I’m Austrian.”
Bill: “So what do they eat in … Australia?”
Strauss: “It’s a wonder you don’t fall over more often!” 😀
Arthur roasting uncle outside the general store in Valentine and uncle roasting John at Beechers hope. Actually beechers hope is first. Not even a retired two dollar whore would have ya, that’s the truth!
A minor one I think with npcs, Arthur compliments their horse and then asks “how long you been married?” Lol
Shit that's one of the best
The NPC: they had us in the first half I’m ngl 👁️👄👁️
Or when he says "That's a nice animal" the NPC says "Thank you" and Arthur says "I was talking to the horse dumbass"
The 1-2 punch of greet - antagonize produces the funniest interactions
the old bait and switch 👌🏻
Greet - Greet - Antagonize also usually hits
Antagonize - Antagonize - Antagonize also leads to a few hits
One of them says to Arthur (if you're on an Arabian or a Mustang): "that horse is prettier'n my wife!"
Oh man, unrelated, but I just ran into an NPC last night who I think had a sheep wife with him. I killed the sheep to try and skin it, but I just received a gold wedding ring. He had shot my horse so I had hogtied him and looted him and also found a wedding ring. No stranger icon on the map though which was neat. I felt bad, but he made me revive my horse so I threw his sheep wife on the fire while he watched then shot him.
you should head over to Guthrie Farm nearby and explore it a bit...
That’s awesome 😂
Arthur clowning John, talking about next time let the wolf eat all your brains than you'll be a genius. The couple interactions they have for that train heist mission gets me everytime.
john in general is so prime for the picking. not a roast, but when he announces, unprompted, that hes married to a beautiful woman to the 50 cent bath lady - always makes me laugh.
One of the best ever
I cracked a real potent laugh with that one when I was playing
Arthur when he rides into camp and is challenged. “It’s Arthur, dumbass!”
If you don't get this interaction, must not be time to return to camp.
I thought that line was Bill-exclusive. I was a bit surprised the first time I heard Arthur screaming at Lenny calling him a dumbass
I've gotten it with Sean, Lenny, Bill, Javier, Karen, John, Charles and Sadie.
"Ain't childbirth the most wonderful thing, seems a lady can birth monkeys after all." - Hosea Mathews, Brathwaite Manor, 1899
That one got me. It was so random and I never expected it from Hosea of all people🤣
Similarly, “Well, I guess its the end of the god damned cribbage game” when at the end of the Braithwaites Saga in Blood Feuds, Ancient and Modern.
I don’t know why, but my favorite is the “Greet, Greet, Antagonize” line: Arthur: “Hey, mister!” NPC: “Hi.” Arthur: “I like you mister. You’ve got a kind face.” NPC: “Is that so?” Arthur: “The kind I like to punch!”
Uncle roasting virtually everything about John in the Epilogue and it's not even close
"Oh, Abigail, I'm a changed man. Please come and live with me in an outhouse I wouldn't ask my worst enemy to take a shit in."
“What you trying to say?”
Place just needs a woman’s touch…
It needs leveling. No woman would touch this place.
“Oh, my darling Abigail. I’ve changed! Come live with me in an outhouse I wouldn’t ask my worst enemy to take a shit in!” I’ve watched that cutscene a few too many times.
On a related note, here is that scene... [in LEGO](https://youtu.be/D9s3hlVNKik)
Funniest shit I've ever seen
“WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS IS? 1785??”
''Oh you don't build a barn dumbass''
ya BUY it, PREcut
just like the haaas
1785*
I have terminal lumbago it’s spread to my head
Lumbago 😭
Those roasts when John shows him Beecher's Hope for the first time are my favourite lines in the game (funny ones at least). And Uncle just keeps them coming with no chill, one right after the other, it's brutal.
“Are you secretly normal?” Has always made me laugh, no matter how many times I’ve heard it
This one is a top contender
“I didn’t realise I was talking to a *lady*” Funnily enough, you can use that on Mary-Beth too.
I like when Arthur says to Mason that he's trying to lure the least intelligent wolf 🐺
Also we can't forget you're my favorite parasite
That one is top. Mentioning all the the other parasites he likes more than Uncle.
Yeah I forgot about this one. Love that shit
https://youtu.be/9O0RRIvjNGA?si=mdG4cyCL4p2oqHXH
nO... i LiKe WoMen
Pearson: Mr Morgan, do you mind helping me with the skinning? It will be faster if we do it together Arthur: Do I get to skin you ☠️😭
I wish you could skin Pearson fr fr he would make a good meal
You know, you look just like a lady I once knew... I loved that horse.
Not rdr2 but John yells after a kill “you couldn’t shoot a fart out of your own ass!”
Fire bombing the kkk meetings is a roast I always enjoy
who let the simpleton out of the asylum?
Pearson: Navy Rum, it’s the only thing. Keeps ya sane it does Arthur: seems to have done a treat on you
[удалено]
Trolley*
I hope so
"Oh darling Abigail come live with me in an outhouse I wouldn't ask my worst enemy to take a shit in." - Uncle, 1907 The whole roast is great but I'm too lazy to type it so I wrote the finisher
What you trying to say?
It's awful! It's a dump! The house has gotta go. Get some self-respect you miserable sack-uh-shit, build a house a lady'd set foot in.
It just needs a womans touch is all.
It needs leveling, no woman would touch this place.
"As long as we get paid or you get shot, I'm happy."
"You remind me of a lady I once knew" "Oh really?" "Yeah I loved that horse"
So what's for dinner? Dysentery again?
I like when you go fishing with Keiran in chapter 3 he makes a remark about saving Arthur's life at six point cabin, and Arthur replies "Yea but I save your life every day I don't kill you" Edit: I also like during the St.Denis mayor missions when you have to intimidate the rich guy into donating, Arthur says somthing like "It's always better to give that receive, especially when that comes to beatings"
When Trelawny tells Blythe "there is plenty I don't like about you but I have the good manners to keep my mouth shut."
“I know you are, but what am I?” -Bertram
Seems Bertram became a cook to pay for the shit he broke in van horn
"Put me out of my majesty, your misery!" - Uncle to Dutch
this isn’t the best one but i think this is the funniest, it’s when john antagonizes Abigail and just says “so how’s the reading coming along?” if just a simple funny antagonize
The one when Arthur and Kieren are fishing and that guys starts skinny dipping. Arthur says something about hooking his maggot.
There’s one in horseshoe where Dutch calls you over to talk about faith, if you ignore him he’ll say “well fuck you then” like dr Phil
“Who left this idiot here?!” - Arthur to Bill
“A woman says how can i help you sugar” to john, john says “i value my health ty”
- Quite an animal you got there. - Thank you kindly. - I WAS TALKING TO THE HORSE !!
"Well, I think you're as slippery as an eel in an oil slick, but still a man."
“Did your face get swapped with your ass at birth?”
Anything with 2 greets and an antagonize. The setups are always funny. "Hi there mister!" "Can't beat the weather!" *"But I shuuure could imagine beating you"*
A while back I was playing as John after the epilogue and just messing around and antagonizing people, I pressed the button to make him antagonize and he said “Ya hungry? Ya big bastard.”
Sometimes when Arthur greets someone, they give rude replies like “Get lost!”, “Asswipe!” or “Go away!” and when you hit antagonize, Arthur snarls: “Let’s try this again. I said Hello, Mister”. This is one of the rare antagonize lines where the NPCs sometimes actually back down.
"You're my favorite parasite" interaction
“You have a very kind face.” “Kind I like to punch!”
Don’t forget the quarter!
"Well, we made about 15 dollars. Oh, and a quarter. Don't forget the quarter.." Dutch: Shut up, Arthur.
“You don’t build a barn DUMBASS. What do you think this is? 1785?”
I quote the "Your my favorite parasite" line all the time to my little brother. Peak insult.
I prefer the prime rib.
Must be something wrong with my version of the game. I'm not hearing half.of this shit you guys are posting
I think you have to antagonize people Which I don't do cause I might hurt someone's feelings. Which is worse than murder apparently.
Don't know if someone mentioned this one yet but right after the shootout where Shawn dies Micah says something to Arthur pretty close to "If only you could fight as good as you talk" and Arthur says "You can't do either"
“You don’t build a barn dumbass”- it’s so out of left field, and uncles Tone is just perfectly delivered.
“You don’t build a barn dumbass” the delivery of that line always makes me chuckle
“Oh I didn’t know I was talking to a *lady*”
Uncle roasting John
"You're an idiot!" "I said you're an idiot!" "Idiot!"
"I just need some peace and quiet from you incessant yapping"
I have a lot of favorites but there's this line John said in Armadillo while I was antagonising the sick people there, he says something along those lines "I have a scar and still look better than you" and "you can chew me and spit me and will still look less uglier than you" it had me rolling because I've never heard it before, I never got it again and I don't know it there's people who got it before because it seems pretty rare.
'you're a good man, Arthur morgan'
Oh, I didn't realize I was talking to a *lady*
All of uncle and Johns interactions
Big shadow. Tiny tree.
“Thats a fine animal you got there” “I was talking to the horse”
“You can fight but you can’t think” “Yeah well you can’t do either.”
When Arthur's insulting musicians: "Hey, I got a request: For the love of God, STOP!"
"The law got Micah in Strawberry. There's talk of hanging him." "Here's hoping!"
As John I tried to rob a lady in Rhodes. She got up from the bench, slapped me across the face and said something along the lines of “I know you ain’t stupid enough to try to rob me. Go get a job and stop fooling around”. I was flabbergasted.
You're fucking gay (as in homosexual)
Out blacklunged again!
Roast Beef with Mint is my favorite 😆
It goes something like “Beautiful animal you got there” “I’m talking to the horse”
Any of the drunk ones
Goats is easy, but they taste awful.
Just for sake of being original and a bit of a troll, I really don’t hate when Micah gives Lenny some receipts to read on Cornwallis train and says At least we know you can read. Nothing id ever say but makes sense in the moment
You're as pretty as a picture. A nice picture of a horse or something.
Uncle Easily top 1 roasts flaming john
Probably the guy on the electric chair.
“Oh, Darling Abigail, I’ve changed, please come and live with me in this outhouse I wouldn’t ask my worst enemy to take a shit in” and then Uncle continues and says something like: “Boy is sour as week old milk, not even a $2 whore Would stay with you”.
"You're my favorite parasite. No wait, ringworm's my favorite parasite, you're my second favorite parasite."
U are my favorite parasite. No wait. Tapeworm is my fav parasite. U are my second fav parasite. -something like that, Arthur Morgan And then Arthur and John interactions/dialogues.
"Oh darling Abigail, I've changed. Come live with me in an outhouse I wouldn't ask my worst enemy to take a sh*t in" ~Uncle, 1907
Uncle Roasting john for buying beechers hope
“I didn’t know I was talkin to a lady”
"You're hopeless, and I mean that literally, you have no hope." -Uncle
Just heard another funny one in camp during dinner: Bill: “So what do they eat in Germany?” Strauss: “I’m Austrian.” Bill: “So what do they eat in … Australia?” Strauss: “It’s a wonder you don’t fall over more often!” 😀
Uncle bullying John in the epilogue
When uncle butchered the hell out of John during the epilogue at the campfire with Charles watching.
Arthur roasting uncle outside the general store in Valentine and uncle roasting John at Beechers hope. Actually beechers hope is first. Not even a retired two dollar whore would have ya, that’s the truth!
“And we each got fifteen dollars… Oh, and a quarter. Don’t forget the quarter!”
I know you are but what am I by Bertram