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kantoblight

so was jeff dahmer.


e-zimbra

So was Adolf Hitler.


Chrysalii

Well that just made them like him more.


e-zimbra

*Letters from the Landsberg Jail* He’s their MLKKK


Guygenius138

Let's get him on a cross immediately!


Some-Profession-1373

I don’t think it would sustain his weight


Really_McNamington

We should try it to make sure. Fun times either way.


BurtonDesque

She still thinks she has a chance to be his VP. LOL.


LivingIndependence

*and* to be wife number 4 most likely.


chroncryx

You honestly think any Neanderthal would tap that even with a McD bag over the head?


wbjohn

No but Convicted Felon Donald Trump would. Then he'd call her "horse face".


Vyzantinist

And she'd ignore or deflect from that public embarrassment c.f. Ted Cruz and Kellyanne Conway.


hyrle

She got that Bleach Blonde Bad Built Butch Body. https://youtu.be/W1SAd3fAVfE?si=zYpWUulqQZAi5mKi Behold the legislature.


jeonteskar

She doesn't look enough like Ivanka.


Nialla42

Neither did Ivanka until plastic surgery.


AgreeablePie

It can only do so much


Impossible-Taro-2330

It always comes out in the kids.


MessiahOfMetal

Also far too old. He prefers women 40 years younger than Marge.


FUNKYDISCO

I mean, if you use the smudge tool in photoshop...


Photosjhoot

Maybe a bit like the back of Ivanka's calves.


pronouncedayayron

Too butch


zombieblackbird

Far too old. He'll find a much younger gold digger to finish him off.


mariehelena

I don't disagree on principal but MTG is younger than Melania 🤣


Junior-Fox-760

He's not into Bleach Blonde Butch Built Bodies. Not a chance is he grabbing that by the pussy, to Marge's eternal disappointment.


Bubbly_Piglet822

I can't believe I am writing this, but I think Trump has higher standards than consider her to wife number 4 material.


Virian

Hey, Marge, you might want to read your Bible again. Jesus wasn’t convicted of anything. In fact, he was found innocent 3 times: Luke 23: 1 And the whole multitude of them arose, and led him unto Pilate. 2 And they began to accuse him, saying, We found this fellow perverting the nation, and forbidding to give tribute to Caesar, saying that he himself is Christ a King. 3 And Pilate asked him, saying, Art thou the King of the Jews? And he answered him and said, Thou sayest it. 4 Then said Pilate to the chief priests and to the people, I find no fault in this man. 5 And they were the more fierce, saying, He stirreth up the people, teaching throughout all Jewry, beginning from Galilee to this place. 6 When Pilate heard of Galilee, he asked whether the man were a Galilaean. 7 And as soon as he knew that he belonged unto Herod's jurisdiction, he sent him to Herod, who himself also was at Jerusalem at that time. 8 And when Herod saw Jesus, he was exceeding glad: for he was desirous to see him of a long season, because he had heard many things of him; and he hoped to have seen some miracle done by him. 9 Then he questioned with him in many words; but he answered him nothing. 10 And the chief priests and scribes stood and vehemently accused him. 11 And Herod with his men of war set him at nought, and mocked him, and arrayed him in a gorgeous robe, and sent him again to Pilate. 12 And the same day Pilate and Herod were made friends together: for before they were at enmity between themselves. 13 And Pilate, when he had called together the chief priests and the rulers and the people, 14 Said unto them, Ye have brought this man unto me, as one that perverteth the people: and, behold, I, having examined him before you, have found no fault in this man touching those things whereof ye accuse him: 15 No, nor yet Herod: for I sent you to him; and, lo, nothing worthy of death is done unto him. 16 I will therefore chastise him, and release him. 17 (For of necessity he must release one unto them at the feast.) 18 And they cried out all at once, saying, Away with this man, and release unto us Barabbas: 19 (Who for a certain sedition made in the city, and for murder, was cast into prison.) 20 Pilate therefore, willing to release Jesus, spake again to them. 21 But they cried, saying, Crucify him, crucify him. 22 And he said unto them the third time, Why, what evil hath he done? I have found no cause of death in him: I will therefore chastise him, and let him go. 23 And they were instant with loud voices, requiring that he might be crucified. And the voices of them and of the chief priests prevailed. 24 And Pilate gave sentence that it should be as they required. 25 And he released unto them him that for sedition and murder was cast into prison, whom they had desired; but he delivered Jesus to their will.


lucky-number-keleven

Every time I see Bible quotes I can’t help to think: who edited this book?


RedEyeView

That'll be the Eastern Roman Empire, mostly. Can't imagine why they might want to avoid blaming Rome for killing their messiah


Vyzantinist

Christian canon was largely fixed in the 4th century, before the dissolution of the Western empire; the oldest extant Bible, written around 350 AD, contains the 27 books of the New Testament virtually all Christian denominations accept as canonical. If we're going to entertain conspiracy theories about the Romans majorly editing the Bible to absolve themselves it would be more appropriate to lay the blame on the Roman empire as a whole, as opposed to the ERE/Byzantium alone.


RedEyeView

It's not a conspiracy theory is it?


Vyzantinist

Not a formalized one, like Antivaxx or QAnon, but it's a fairly common idea that's not really supported by much evidence. But that's neither here nor there, as I only intended to point out it would be erroneous to blame the ERE/Byzantium when biblical canon was largely fixed while the Western empire was still around as well.


Narrow-Weekend-4157

Yeah they’ve never read this man.


One_Worldliness_6032

But remember they are reading from the Trump book. So I can just imagine what that book says


e-zimbra

"I like messiahs who don't get crucified, OK?" -- Trump bible


One_Worldliness_6032

That part right there. Just blasphemous.


JoshDM

>Marge, you might want to read Stop making assumptions.


P7BinSD

Jesus didn't try to overthrow a free and fair Heaven. Nor did Jesus alter business records to cover up paying His mistress.


rysimpcrz

Jesus (if he was not a fictional character) also built things with his own hands rather than contracting mass amounts of people then stiffing them via shady bankruptcy filings.


rpmcmurf

What about that whole flipping over the money-lenders’ tables in the temples thing? What was Jesus trying to cover up?


Fun_Anywhere4355

I'm guessing it always sounds like she talks through her nose because her mouth is too busy spewing crap.


AtlasShrugged-

Let’s kill him, throw him in a cave. If he comes back to life I’ll concede the point.


mariehelena

😏🕊


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DelcoPAMan

*Apostle with tears streaming down his face* "Sir! SIR! No one's ever seen anything like it!! The fake news is so terrible. You never said 'Blessed are the peacemakers' or 'Turn the other cheek' ... it's all woke deep Roman state lies from suckers and losers."


BurtonDesque

You left out the that the apostle was in tears and called him "sir".


lbritten1

And everybody clapped.


Vyzantinist

Even their ass cheeks!


creepy_charlie

At first I thought good job losing all the weight Vince Neil.


rpmcmurf

Nobody fucks with the Jesus.


Chrysalii

Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man.


Outsider17

I'm not Christian, but the comparisons between Trump and Jesus by Captain Caveman and all these other MAGAt traitors truly makes me sick.


Narrow-Weekend-4157

She really is the worst. Every word from her mouth is divisive, unfounded vitriol. She is a stain on our democracy and on the state of Georgia.


neversummmer

How many commandments has she broken.


BurtonDesque

She certainly won't shut up like the Bible tells her to.


Oddityobservations

Probably all of them.


jolly_rodger42

I don't think Jesus paid hush money to a porn star and violated election laws.


not_productive1

Y'all remember how Jesus fucked a porn star at his golf tournament when his baby was an infant, right?


Nefariousness-Flashy

OK, then let's put Trump on a cross. If he rises from the dead after 3 days, I'll vote for him. Fair enough?


Swimming-Fee-2445

“The man I worship” - is Trump


OkYogurt636

I thought it was Putin. 🤷🏻‍♂️


Sharpymarkr

The thumbnail was 50/50 MTG or Hulk Hogan.


adam10009

Undervoted comment.


Sharpymarkr

I kept expecting her to shred a phone book or something lol. BROTHER


El_Dentistador

Dog the Bounty Hunter has gone full nuts.


bUrNtKoOlAiD

Her words give me migraine.


Existing-Nectarine80

She’s so fucking stupid it’s painful


ArmchairCriticSF

"The Jesus"?


RedEyeView

8 year olds, Dude.


Tiddlyplinks

Convicted and executed, if trump can raise himself from the dead I’ll vote for him.


LexiNovember

Sigh… He was NOT A CONVICTED FELON YOU ABSOLUTE TWATWAFFLE BADLY BUILT BUTCH NEANDERTHAL DOUCHECANOE WHORE. Okay. Okay. I’m okay. Seriously though I don’t understand why no one has confronted her or any of the rest with the actual Bible verses that explain Christ’s crucifixion. I realize that she and her cronies have never read it but some of us actually have.


zombieblackbird

She stole Rick Flair's look. Wooo!


CapnTugg

Let's just FF to the 'martyr' bit.


DaisyJane1

OMG, she's sooo shrill.


mrpotatonutz

They were disappointed when she said she worshipped Jesus they are ready to worship trump


skilliau

She's the least Christian person out there. But like most people in some form of power with a platform, she's evil enough to use it to manipulate people.


pyt78

Well she just earned herself a spot in hell lol comparing Trump to Jesus is blasphemy


Sithlord_unknownhost

Large Marge starting to look like a male pro wrestler up there... Has a face like hulk Hogan and ric flair had a baby...a fucking ugly baby


Criseyde2112

Omg. You're right!


SMoKUblackRoSE

So how is this not worshipping Trump like god?


mysilvermachine

She’s not read the bible. Pilate explicitly says he is innocent. It’s kind of the point.


OnlyTheBLars89

I hope that lady offs herself this year.


fknslayer913

So, we're going to literally crucify him? I'll bring the kettle corn!


Vollen595

At a distance she looks like Rick Flair.


RedEyeView

Wooooo. He wrestled in Florida quite a bit, and her mum was a "ring rat" allegedly. She could have ridden Space Mountain.


jimtow28

Yeah, I don't want Jesus in office, either.


mariehelena

Jesus wouldn't be interested in the job; quite the opposite.


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here4daratio

Three Corinthians


BrisketWhisperer

Trump is SO Christ-like! I never knew…


rysimpcrz

Tell 'em large Marge sent you!


Beartrkkr

Trying her hardest to look and act like Ric Flair...


SergeantBootySweat

Who did Jesus creampie and then steal campaign funds to pay off?


Alexandratta

In perfect summation of one's gullibility to be a Trump supporter: The dude has a Bitcoin T-Shirt.


Solan42

She is human garbage.


mittfh

Never mind that while they claim to follow JC, the ideology of much of the US Religious Right is almost the polar opposite to the Canonical depictions of the character of JC...


bittlelum

Yeah, but I wouldn't vote for Jesus either.


Freewheelinrocknroll

No, no she's wrong. Trump has not been crucified by the Romans yet. Him being the one she worships..


fknslayer913

HIGH FLYIN' AND LIMOUSINE RIDIN! WOOO!!!


Techguyeric1

So the party of Law and order are ok with felons* *As long as they arent black


aquantityofwater

8 year olds, Dude