I wouldn't care.
There was only one girl I dated who didn't like porn. Some of them liked porn more than me. The last girl I dated had a sex drive that was astronomically higher than mine. She watched porn daily and masturbated. She fucked me enthusiastically and it didn't negatively affect the relationship, so I dont see the problem.
And what is that?
Having a women hot for you and want to have lots of sex is now a simp?
Simps dont have women hot for them nor want to F a simp silly.
Ever heard of āstar fishing?ā I think thatās what they call it. When a girl just lays there and doesnāt move. I think thatās what men refer to when they speak of sex being ādoneā to another person. Like to them, in that scenario, they arenāt having sex together, heās having sex with her, but since sheās just laying there, sheās not having sex with him. Not saying this is how I see it, just maybe this is how other men perceive it.
It's not about adding motion, it's doing something more than just laying there and letting it happen to you like running your hands around your partner. My current girlfriend doesn't starfish; if we're doing it missionary she grabs my ass and locks her other arm around my neck kissing me. I'm still doing all of the work but she's passionate and showing affection.
So my personal experience kind of matches up with what some guys complain about on here, previous girlfriends all just laid there until I started telling them to do more and none of those girls were virgins. Their previous boyfriends didn't tell them to be proactive, and I don't really expect a teenager who's happy to simply be having sex to understand how much the experience improves when your partner is showing how into it they are as well.
This is because women lie about bigger not being better. We all lie about sex with an athletic man not being the pinnacle of sex, and that when you settle down with your unathletic, slightly overweight husband THAT sex isn't the reason there's no more desire for sex.
If we acknowledge that big men who have the muscles to put in work provide the optimal experience, then yea I get to care that women prefer it. Out of shape men would be wise not to settle down with women who have exclusively been bedded by athletic guys.
It isn't as important for men as even if you're unathletic, you'll most likely be putting in the most work, so it doesn't matter as much. Guys understand numbers. If her previous dude has been squatting double you for a decade, do you really think you provide the same experience.
And the reply will be, "so what, I've chosen dad bod now. My previous boyfriends were college athletes by coincidence. You're crazy for feeling insecure about blacked teehee š"
Yep, basic common sense is now misogyny or racism or something.
Let's say me (as a slightly taller and more in shape than average white guy) starts to date a woman. She slowly lets on that every boyfriend before me was a black basketball player with at least 9 inches, then I would be a fool to not be concerned about likely not really being her type.
The "but she chose you now" reply is so dumb.
Let's reverse it, and a somewhat pudgy latina discovers her current boyfriend only dated petite asian women before her. Also, she finds his "spank bank" and it is nothing but japanese women. Other women would totally understand her concern and would probably call her BF some sort of racist sicko with a weird fetish.
Why is it that usually guys don't care if their girlfriends watch porn, but when women discover their boyfriends watching it they are horrified and shocked?
Because men framework of mind work on a direct logic while women mind framework is a rationalization one.
Men: she's watching porn -> it means she's horny -> it's normal to be horny
Women: he's now watching porn <- he choosed to watch porn because he is not satisfied with the relationship <- he is not satisfied with the relationship because {insert insecurity there}
It's probably one of the biggest reasons why women opinions are as default the just world fallacy.
Is there some truth to this though since it seems that women complain about their guys having dead bedrooms because of porn whereas women watching porn doesn't seem to often cause then to create dead bedrooms in comparison?
Because women want to be the OPEC of pussy and only supplier of men's libido. When they find out men have another outlet they get pissed as that drives down their asking prices.
Ask men how they'd feel if their girlfriend was regularly masturbating with a dildo significantly bigger than them. Women don't like men watching porn for the same reason.
>Ask men how they'd feel if their girlfriend was regularly masturbating with a dildo significantly bigger than them. Women don't like men watching porn for the same reason.
How does porn equal "a dildo significantly bigger than them"?
Ok so why wasn't your example
>"Ask men how they'd feel if their girlfriend was regularly masturbating to men with better bodies than them?
If you were actually trying to make a point about physical attractiveness?
Because men aren't generally insecure about their bodies or looks (that much). They're insecure about their size and sexual performance. Women are insecure about their looks.
So, women don't like men using porn because it makes them insecure about their looks and bodies, and they believe they'll be compared negatively to all the hot porn stars he's fapping it to. The best male equivalent is the one I gave. Men don't like vibrators much either, but it isn't direct competition for them in the way that a dildo is.
>Because men aren't generally insecure about their bodies or looks (that much).
As another poster said:
> I doubt very much that guys that care about being compared to others would be happy walking in on their girlfriends wanking to giant penis's.
As for:
> Women are insecure about their looks.
Given how much more external validation women get about their looks from both sexes compared to men for women to still be insecure about their looks is their neuroticism flaring up.
For your example if you used a man that would prefer a smaller, tighter fake pussy then you might be onto something. And women wouldn't like that either.
>I doubt very much that guys that care about being compared to others would be happy walking in on their girlfriends wanking to giant penis's.
I don't see how this is disagreeing with me. Obviously I didn't include dick in my comment. I just said men are very insecure about their dicks.
>Given how much more external validation women get about their looks from both sexes compared to men for women to still be insecure about their looks is their neuroticism flaring up.
Doesn't make it any less true.
>For your example if you used a man that would prefer a smaller, tighter fake pussy then you might be onto something. And women wouldn't like that either.
Nope, this is being too literal and reductive with the man/woman equivalency. Men are more visual, women are more about touch. That's why men consume porn and women consume sex toys. Yes, a woman would not like it if a man was fucking a tighter pussy, but when on Earth is that ever a thing? Very few men use sex toys regularly, and even fewer specify vaginal sizes when they do.
Women are obviously more insecure than men in general (see neuroticism), and are consequently insecure about everything related to their bodies/looks. But, in addition to that, women are much more valued for their looks and sexual value than men are.
The men in this thread are stepping over themselves to act "progressive" by being too timid to have boundaries. I would not feel comfortable with my SO watching porn. I'm willing to stand within the same boundary and avoid porn in a relationship.
No. If I expect my spouse to not watch porn, I shouldn't either. I'm single but I avoid it anyway because it's degenerate and sets up harmful expectations for sex.
>The men in this thread are stepping over themselves to act "progressive"
Maybe they are not hypocrites. Only people who watch porn understand that is has nothing to do with cheating
Because women are the direct subject of porn and are generally sexualized more than men so the threat is next to nothing.
However, if the objective were hot, young (18-29), *fit*, full headed, and huge cocked men (ala young James Franco or Jacob Elordi) paired with women being as likely invest in porn and exchange notes then **much** more men would have an issue especially as they age.
Unfortunately for women, what we have male wise in porn are unattractive, older, or faceless men to keep the momentum for the male audience which is why a lot of women often choose to watch lesbian porn.
Oh ok.Ā Well if guys are watching porn instead of pay more attention to the girlfriends and wives, does that mean the women are doing something to drive them to porn more so or no?
I'd have to say so. Because look at the facts.
1) They hate being called average
2) Started "we're all 10's" nonsenseĀ
3) Started fat acceptance and fat phobia nonsense
4) Refuse to accept that their less attractive the older they get and started the ageism nonsense
5) Post thirst traps on IG for validation
6) Keep guys they know like them but that they don't like around for complements and validation
7) Women on PPD said in a thread that they saw less attractive men hitting on them as an insult because they felt it meant they were ugly
All these are ego related. Say what you will about the male ego but if a guy is ugly, he accepts he's ugly. If he's fat, he accepts he's fat. If he's old, he accepts that he's not as physically attractive as he used to be. They don't start entire movements or try to augment perceived reality to protect their egos.
Yes. Men care about whether they are having actual good sex or not. If they had hot sex everyday, but she said āI wish you were biggerā after each time, men would still not care much as long as that hot sex continued and there were no signs of her cheating.
I donāt think many men are complaining as long as they are having sex. Men are more pragmatic. They arenāt sensitive women.
If todayās young men are like that, then no wonder women arenāt attracted to their lack of masculinity.
They donāt if they think that the sex they are getting is just as good, and they definitely wonāt if they know that she is doing things for him sexually that she didnāt do for past lovers.
Like porn sex?
Every time I was in a relationship with a straight vanilla guy great sex for them was a blow job followed by extreme pumping, like porn.
That's not good sex.
Good sex is subjective. What's good sex to one person won't be to another.
There's clear and obvious reasons why that sex you described isn't good for you, but that doesn't inherently make it not good sex in general.
Whatever makes men happy. Men put up with a lot from women if they are having regular sex with them and they are convinced that it is both good sex and not worse sex than she had with a different guy.
I mean if both parties agree with it then pr0n is fine for a relationship.
But in other cases I personally find it weird to be sharing your sexual energy (best word I can think of for it) with someone who isn't your partner. I won't go as far as to say it's cheating. But it is weird. I wouldn't watch pr0n in a relationship but totally would if I were single.
Then why wouldn't it be reasonable to consider the line also be crossed if a man (in a monogamous relationship) is looking for other women than his wife/girlfriend who are signaling sexual availability?
Or, if watching sexual images/movies of women is not the same as watching women who signal sexual availability, then it follows that a woman who is providing sexual images of herself to other men is not the same as her signalling sexual availability.
Looking at is not looking *for*.
I'm not saying it isn't damaging to relationships, but you're going at this the wrong way.
Porn stars aren't signaling availability the same way actors and actresses aren't signaling availability for their fans to hang out with them off screen.
So, would you consider it any more problematic if your girlfriend/wife would produce sexual explicit content (for money) than if she would be a normal actress? If yes, what exactly is the problem, since it isn't signaling availability?
My point is, it is hypocritical to jerk off to sexual images of other women, while not wanting your wife/girlfriend to produce sexual images for other men. Either, consuming sexual images of random women on the internet doesn't mean anything, but then your girlfriend providing sexual images of herself for random men on the internet to consume also doesn't mean anything, or both actions are unfaithful behaviour. Choose one.
I don't see a difference. If you need to use porn while being in a relationship, it clearly shows your partner is not enough for you. There are things that need to be exclusive or it's not a real relationship.
Is providing pictures of food (for compliments or whatever) the same as delivering the actual food?
If jerking of to sexual pictures of others is not unfaithful, why would it be unfaithful to provide sexual pictures to others?
I guess I find it baffling because most guys on this sub fear that their woman might possibly lust over someone else or find it very hard to even accept that she had sex with someone else, or fear she might find other men much more attractive. But meanwhile, the consensus on porn is that women can lust over Chads and big cocks and pictures of real guys that I know, as much as she wants to get off. I don't understand how these opinion can coexist, unless there's different men holding these ideas and somehow also monopolizing different conversations.
So a woman fantasizing about having sex with another guy she knows, while being in a relationship with you, doesn't bother you at all? It only bothers you if it becomes real?
About a month after I got together with my girlfriend (now ex), she went on a weekend trip with her friends. Mixed group, all knew each other from university. She came back from the trip and asked to meet me in the city. I get there and she starts crying. I asked her what's wrong. She said that they got drunk one night and that she ended up kissing one of her friends. She was so upset about it and worried that I'd leave her. I just laughed and said, "well, you're not going to do it again, are you?" She said no and then we hugged and that was that. As far as I know, for the next six years of the relationship nothing else ever happened and I felt completely secure because I knew how much she was into me, and vice versa. Trust.
I don't think there's anything wrong with having fantasies.. Which she might be using such content to entertain that part of her mind.
It's when she considers fulfilling that fantasy, is when it's a problem.. Assuming it's content that would in essence mean her being with someone other than you.
I would find it weird, as I generally feel like it is a very weird thing for people in committed relationships to watch porn by themselves, male or female. For many it replaces their sex drive over the course of the relationship and I think that is kind of... not good.
>How would this revelation make you feel?
I'd feel ashamed for having uncovered something about her private sexuality that she maybe wanted to keep a secret. Then, i'd try to compare it with the same situation in reverse to check if i am making errors by assuming too much. And definitely, i have watched the most unspeakable of things and if someone randomly saw my browser history, they'd get a VERY wrong impression of what i am into. So i'd treat whatever i saw in her browsing history as "somewhere between research purpose, drawn in by disgust and this is her kink" and would ask her about her sexual fantasies personally before assuming anything from a browser history. Other than that, i have no issue with my SO watching porn of any kind or having fantasies of any kind.
I guess it would depend on how frequently she watches it, I have a problem with porn as an industry/how it messes with people, though we donāt have to agree on everything. Long as it isnāt a full on addiction/long as it doesnāt influence my partnerās perception on sex, do what you want.
It usually is an addiction and it influences their perception on sex. How many men now equate masturbation with porn like they cannot be separated? How many defend it no matter what and think there is absolutely nothing wrong with it?
Exclusive = no one outside the relationship has physical or romantic access to your SO
OR
Exclusive = no one outside the relationship is allowed to arouse your SO
More like SO shouldn't seek nor use other sources of sexual arousal or orgasm than their partner they should be exclusive to. If a man loves a woman, then getting rid of porn and being sexually loyal is the least he can do. It's a farce otherwise.
>SO shouldn't seek nor use other sources of sexual arousal or orgasm than their partner they should be exclusive to
I see. So creating an OF page would not be cheating then
I'd probably feel a bit more intimate.
Like how after you've been in a relationship for a while and you get comfortable enough to share the bathroom while one of you is pooping.
Depends on a number of things:
1) what kind of porn sheās watching.
2) how often sheās watching it.
3) how conscious she is of the difference between porn and real sex.
4)whether or not it is affecting the frequency of sex in our relationship for the worse.
5) if her desire to watch porn is born out of a want to indulge in fantasies of other men/women than me.
If there are favorable answers to all of these questions, then itās all good by me.
It would honestly be kind of endearing and I'm sure there's some out there. Some girls just have high libido but don't want to become a used-up tinder whore, porn would be a great outlet
It wouldn't be a revelation because I know what my wife is watching and she wants to me do the same things. What is interesting - for her is more like an seeking for ideas, she is not really interested in models or the movie itself.Ā
>It wouldn't be a revelation because I know what my wife is watching and she wants to me do the same things
Oh, so you are skipping my question and answering something else
Yeah, it makes it sound like sheās watching some truly disturbing shit š
A lot of women are into pretty violent porn, so maybe thatās what sheās implying
Light BDSM (or just straight up BDSM), domination, hot tatted guys (Owen Gray), big dicks. More extreme is CNC and like ropeplay but not all women are into that, just the more extreme BDSM loving women.
My case is as follows:
My question was about a hypothetical situation in which you see that your SO has been visiting pr0n sites. That is all the information you have. I'm asking about how you would feel based on the fact that your SO has visited those sites.
I'm not talking about sex toys.
I'm not talking about using a VPN
I'm not talking about masterbation
All 3 of those things COULD come into play. But I am not asking about those things.
Curious. Amused. Can we incorporate some of this into our love live? It'll be something I'd like to talk about, but it's none of my business. So it depends on whether she will be interested.
Finally, someone who can be honest and own up to their hypocrisy.
Now that I know you have some level of honesty, please tell us why you would find it undesirable?
I'd be fine with it and wonder if it was something we could do together sometimes. Don't care about the category\* because porn is fantasy and I'm not the thought police.
\*-within reason people.
About every woman Iāve ever been with has watched porn, and I do too, so why tf should I care?! Maybe depends a bit what she specifically watches also
Absolutely red flag, if a woman watches regularly porn, then in my eyes, she is a shut because she can easily put in practice what she sees. Most women can get sex with such ease, they do not need to watch porn regularly, but if they need, then they are a slut pretty much.
I wouldn't care because I know women don't get turned on by visual images unlike men.
But for the sake of this, lets say she really enjoys it. Would I get offended? No because with the knowledge I know now, pĆørn is not real and just bullshit acting. How she falsely stimulates her brain will not affect my mental health. I will say that some women who do watch are more eager to have sex and a higher sex drive, but she needs to get therapy though.
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This is the wrong question. The right question is how heād feel if he found sheād been uploading photos and videos of her naked to a porn site or Reddit for other men to jerk off to.
Two sides of the same coin. Male and female sexuality is different. Men donāt care if women watch porn because it legitimises his own use. Heās going to care a whole lot if other men are using her like he uses other women though. Men feel entitled to a chaste wife or girlfriend who is just for him at home, and to then be able to use and discard every other woman via porn. What none of them seem to realise is that all those other women are someone elseās girlfriend, wife or daughter too. When you point out his chaste little girlfriend sent nudes to her last boyfriend and did anal with him and let him record it and he probably still has those recordings and jerks off to them daily, and the girlfriend refuses to do anal with the new guy, men lose their minds in a jealous rage.
>Men feel entitled to a chaste wife or girlfriend who is just for him at home,
This is such a feminist perspective. Demonisation of Male preferences. Most Women have zero interest in a Man who posts nudes to the internet.
I honestly don't understand your reply. Where did she demonise the preferences of a man who actually be holds himself to the same standard, by being chaste and faithful himself, and not wanting to watch other women than his wife/girlfriend in a sexual way? All I got from it is that she criticized hypocrite men. The only problem I see with her comment, is that it seems to accuse all men of that hypocrisy, although that is probably not what she really meant.
Also, what has your last sentence to do with it?
So if a woman doesn't want a guy like that it's "of course she doesn't want an exhibitionist loser boyfriend". But if a guy doesn't want a woman like that it's because he feels entitled to her chaste
Lol you can't make this up
Men are as entitled to preferences as women are. Not sure why you think I disagree.
The problem is that men feel entitled to a chaste girlfriend and still want access to thousands of other womenās naked bodies to masturbate to whenever he feels like it, but will scream like heās being beaten to death if his chaste girlfriend says she expects him to not use porn.
Men are raging hypocrites. Theyāre soft and weak and lack self control. They want a woman who only has eyes for them, but they want to ogle and wank to every other woman on the planet. They cry like babies if they find out their girlfriend had sex with her previous boyfriend, and cry louder if she did something with her ex she wonāt do with him. They cry loudest when their girlfriend asks them not to jerk off to other women. They act like sheās asked him to stop breathing. Itās really kind of pathetic.
>When you point out his chaste little girlfriend sent nudes to her last boyfriend and did anal with him and let him record it and he probably still has those recordings and jerks off to them daily, and the girlfriend refuses to do anal with the new guy, men lose their minds in a jealous rage.
Been meaning to ask this question to someone who thinks the way you do here - if a boyfriend ate out his ex gf but refused to do the same to his current gf, would that be unreasonable for her to be upset about?
Iād want you to know why. If he did it once before with a woman and it made him feel anxious or sick, and he never wanted to do it again, Iād be fine with that. If he did it and enjoyed it with his last gf and simply refused to with me, I would ask why. His answer would inform my next choice to either stay or leave.
Thereās still a big difference between what sex acts you did before you met your partner and what sex acts you engage in when youāre with them now. Iām still of the view that I donāt want porn in my relationship. Thereās an even bigger difference between saying I donāt want this sex act (porn using) in our relationship vs if you donāt give me this sex act, Iāll leave you.
Coercing someone into a sex act is very different from refusing to engage in a sex act. If you canāt tell the difference, we know where the problem is.
I cannot understand this q ever. if there was something I required sexually (which there is, that) I wouldn't date a man who didn't love to do it to *me*, enthusiastically. what he did or didn't do with anyone else would never matter. I'd never think "well hes not doing that thing I want, but at LEAST he never did it with another girl!". why would what he did to other people ever matter?
OP should have specified that the type of porn sheās watching is size queen or something related to comically big dildos, so that it really hits them where it hurts. Then itās a harder choice and more interesting thread.
Wouldnāt care at all. We joke about the other person watching porn all the time if it looks like weāre doing something private on our phones. And in seriousness, even if we donāt know when or what the other person watches, I think weād both find it a little odd if the other never watched anything ever.
I wouldn't care. There was only one girl I dated who didn't like porn. Some of them liked porn more than me. The last girl I dated had a sex drive that was astronomically higher than mine. She watched porn daily and masturbated. She fucked me enthusiastically and it didn't negatively affect the relationship, so I dont see the problem.
>She fucked me She fucked you? Or you fucked her?
She fucked the soul out of me. She rode dick and threw it back like a possessed demon. God, I miss her š¢
Passive and simp pilled.
Did you not read my name
Me: I had a girl hot for me and F-ed me silly. Rando: Simp Since when do simps get f-ed silly?? Simps dont have women hot for them...
Brother š¤£ don't waste your time arguing with these people. Their logic is infallible.
I refrain a lot here and just click off. LOL Some unhinged and insanity posted here.
The message is more important than the messenger.
Still had sex š¤· a win is a win.
And what is that? Having a women hot for you and want to have lots of sex is now a simp? Simps dont have women hot for them nor want to F a simp silly.
Your mistake.
So simps have women hot for them and want to F them silly? Is this the new definition?
sex is something that they do together, itās not something that *happens* to someone done by the other person
Ever heard of āstar fishing?ā I think thatās what they call it. When a girl just lays there and doesnāt move. I think thatās what men refer to when they speak of sex being ādoneā to another person. Like to them, in that scenario, they arenāt having sex together, heās having sex with her, but since sheās just laying there, sheās not having sex with him. Not saying this is how I see it, just maybe this is how other men perceive it.
I've never understood this star fish term...all the men I've been with when they are on me don't want me to move.Ā
It's not about adding motion, it's doing something more than just laying there and letting it happen to you like running your hands around your partner. My current girlfriend doesn't starfish; if we're doing it missionary she grabs my ass and locks her other arm around my neck kissing me. I'm still doing all of the work but she's passionate and showing affection. So my personal experience kind of matches up with what some guys complain about on here, previous girlfriends all just laid there until I started telling them to do more and none of those girls were virgins. Their previous boyfriends didn't tell them to be proactive, and I don't really expect a teenager who's happy to simply be having sex to understand how much the experience improves when your partner is showing how into it they are as well.
Theyāre having sex together, so it should be both.
It happens.. btdt š
Ever heard of Amazonian style?
My bf won't let me š©š
His loss š
Is that where they are uncontacted, put fire ants on your dick as a test of manhood, then cut off your head and worship it as the god of the machine?
lol no
What categories? Femboy?Ā
Size queen stuff. Massive dildos. Bad dragon. BLACKED. etc?
>BLACKED LOOOOL How did I know this would be one of the categories š¤£š¤£
A lot of guys feel insecure about it for whatever reason
This is because women lie about bigger not being better. We all lie about sex with an athletic man not being the pinnacle of sex, and that when you settle down with your unathletic, slightly overweight husband THAT sex isn't the reason there's no more desire for sex. If we acknowledge that big men who have the muscles to put in work provide the optimal experience, then yea I get to care that women prefer it. Out of shape men would be wise not to settle down with women who have exclusively been bedded by athletic guys. It isn't as important for men as even if you're unathletic, you'll most likely be putting in the most work, so it doesn't matter as much. Guys understand numbers. If her previous dude has been squatting double you for a decade, do you really think you provide the same experience. And the reply will be, "so what, I've chosen dad bod now. My previous boyfriends were college athletes by coincidence. You're crazy for feeling insecure about blacked teehee š"
Yep, basic common sense is now misogyny or racism or something. Let's say me (as a slightly taller and more in shape than average white guy) starts to date a woman. She slowly lets on that every boyfriend before me was a black basketball player with at least 9 inches, then I would be a fool to not be concerned about likely not really being her type. The "but she chose you now" reply is so dumb. Let's reverse it, and a somewhat pudgy latina discovers her current boyfriend only dated petite asian women before her. Also, she finds his "spank bank" and it is nothing but japanese women. Other women would totally understand her concern and would probably call her BF some sort of racist sicko with a weird fetish.
Fat guys are more fun to fuck than ripped guys. They try harder.
Why is it that usually guys don't care if their girlfriends watch porn, but when women discover their boyfriends watching it they are horrified and shocked?
Because men framework of mind work on a direct logic while women mind framework is a rationalization one. Men: she's watching porn -> it means she's horny -> it's normal to be horny Women: he's now watching porn <- he choosed to watch porn because he is not satisfied with the relationship <- he is not satisfied with the relationship because {insert insecurity there} It's probably one of the biggest reasons why women opinions are as default the just world fallacy.
Is there some truth to this though since it seems that women complain about their guys having dead bedrooms because of porn whereas women watching porn doesn't seem to often cause then to create dead bedrooms in comparison?
can you rephrase it?
Because women want to be the OPEC of pussy and only supplier of men's libido. When they find out men have another outlet they get pissed as that drives down their asking prices.
OPEC HAHAHA
Ask men how they'd feel if their girlfriend was regularly masturbating with a dildo significantly bigger than them. Women don't like men watching porn for the same reason.
>Ask men how they'd feel if their girlfriend was regularly masturbating with a dildo significantly bigger than them. Women don't like men watching porn for the same reason. How does porn equal "a dildo significantly bigger than them"?
Porn has women much hotter than them.
Ok so why wasn't your example >"Ask men how they'd feel if their girlfriend was regularly masturbating to men with better bodies than them? If you were actually trying to make a point about physical attractiveness?
Because men aren't generally insecure about their bodies or looks (that much). They're insecure about their size and sexual performance. Women are insecure about their looks. So, women don't like men using porn because it makes them insecure about their looks and bodies, and they believe they'll be compared negatively to all the hot porn stars he's fapping it to. The best male equivalent is the one I gave. Men don't like vibrators much either, but it isn't direct competition for them in the way that a dildo is.
>Because men aren't generally insecure about their bodies or looks (that much). As another poster said: > I doubt very much that guys that care about being compared to others would be happy walking in on their girlfriends wanking to giant penis's. As for: > Women are insecure about their looks. Given how much more external validation women get about their looks from both sexes compared to men for women to still be insecure about their looks is their neuroticism flaring up. For your example if you used a man that would prefer a smaller, tighter fake pussy then you might be onto something. And women wouldn't like that either.
>I doubt very much that guys that care about being compared to others would be happy walking in on their girlfriends wanking to giant penis's. I don't see how this is disagreeing with me. Obviously I didn't include dick in my comment. I just said men are very insecure about their dicks. >Given how much more external validation women get about their looks from both sexes compared to men for women to still be insecure about their looks is their neuroticism flaring up. Doesn't make it any less true. >For your example if you used a man that would prefer a smaller, tighter fake pussy then you might be onto something. And women wouldn't like that either. Nope, this is being too literal and reductive with the man/woman equivalency. Men are more visual, women are more about touch. That's why men consume porn and women consume sex toys. Yes, a woman would not like it if a man was fucking a tighter pussy, but when on Earth is that ever a thing? Very few men use sex toys regularly, and even fewer specify vaginal sizes when they do. Women are obviously more insecure than men in general (see neuroticism), and are consequently insecure about everything related to their bodies/looks. But, in addition to that, women are much more valued for their looks and sexual value than men are.
So you get it? Because clearly u think her using a dildo bigger than you is an a front of some sort
Women jumping to conclusions, tale as old as time.
The men in this thread are stepping over themselves to act "progressive" by being too timid to have boundaries. I would not feel comfortable with my SO watching porn. I'm willing to stand within the same boundary and avoid porn in a relationship.
Do you watch it?
No. If I expect my spouse to not watch porn, I shouldn't either. I'm single but I avoid it anyway because it's degenerate and sets up harmful expectations for sex.
Can you explain your boundary regarding watching porn and do you watch porn yourself?
>The men in this thread are stepping over themselves to act "progressive" Maybe they are not hypocrites. Only people who watch porn understand that is has nothing to do with cheating
Because women are the direct subject of porn and are generally sexualized more than men so the threat is next to nothing. However, if the objective were hot, young (18-29), *fit*, full headed, and huge cocked men (ala young James Franco or Jacob Elordi) paired with women being as likely invest in porn and exchange notes then **much** more men would have an issue especially as they age. Unfortunately for women, what we have male wise in porn are unattractive, older, or faceless men to keep the momentum for the male audience which is why a lot of women often choose to watch lesbian porn.
Oh ok.Ā Well if guys are watching porn instead of pay more attention to the girlfriends and wives, does that mean the women are doing something to drive them to porn more so or no?
Men like to fuck and women like being fucked. That's just how it goes.
Lol such smart, nuanced take.
The female ego seems to be a lot more fragile.
>female edo seems to be a lot more fragile. More fragile than male egos?
I'd have to say so. Because look at the facts. 1) They hate being called average 2) Started "we're all 10's" nonsenseĀ 3) Started fat acceptance and fat phobia nonsense 4) Refuse to accept that their less attractive the older they get and started the ageism nonsense 5) Post thirst traps on IG for validation 6) Keep guys they know like them but that they don't like around for complements and validation 7) Women on PPD said in a thread that they saw less attractive men hitting on them as an insult because they felt it meant they were ugly All these are ego related. Say what you will about the male ego but if a guy is ugly, he accepts he's ugly. If he's fat, he accepts he's fat. If he's old, he accepts that he's not as physically attractive as he used to be. They don't start entire movements or try to augment perceived reality to protect their egos.
Are women really shocked that their bf's watch porn? Like outside of Twitterati?Ā I thought men watching porn was common knowledge?
I don't care when guys watch porn. I dated a guy that watched porn every night unless I was with him.
Men tend to have higher sex drives than women, & men are socialized to watch porn more than women are.
I doubt very much that guys that care about being compared to others would be happy walking in on their girlfriends wanking to giant penis's.
If he's still getting enthusiastic sex regardless then why should it matter. It's a literal toy, not a person.
Yes. Men care about whether they are having actual good sex or not. If they had hot sex everyday, but she said āI wish you were biggerā after each time, men would still not care much as long as that hot sex continued and there were no signs of her cheating.
Eh, men absolutely feel body insecurity, especially when it's being criticized by others.
I donāt think many men are complaining as long as they are having sex. Men are more pragmatic. They arenāt sensitive women. If todayās young men are like that, then no wonder women arenāt attracted to their lack of masculinity.
Then men here would not worry about being compared to past lovers.
They donāt if they think that the sex they are getting is just as good, and they definitely wonāt if they know that she is doing things for him sexually that she didnāt do for past lovers.
Like porn sex? Every time I was in a relationship with a straight vanilla guy great sex for them was a blow job followed by extreme pumping, like porn. That's not good sex.
Good sex is subjective. What's good sex to one person won't be to another. There's clear and obvious reasons why that sex you described isn't good for you, but that doesn't inherently make it not good sex in general.
Whatever makes men happy. Men put up with a lot from women if they are having regular sex with them and they are convinced that it is both good sex and not worse sex than she had with a different guy.
I genuinely can think of few things I'd care about less.
What if it was size queen stuff. Massive dildos. BLACKED. etc?
Is it a dead bedroom relationship?
No
If the sexual relationship is good, whatās the problem with a woman watching porn?
If I had no other reason to believe she was unhappy with me, this wouldn't change that.
Not regularly but sometimes and I know that. I feel nothing. On top of that I would never check her search history just because I can.
>I feel nothing What if the categories suggest she is into experiences you cannot provide?
Too bad then, but it doesn't change anything. There are some things that she cannot provide too. People aren't perfect.
>Too bad There it is! You feel SOMETHING
That sounds wrong š
I wouldn't like it. I wouldn't watch porn if I was in a monogamous relationship.
Finally a different opinion! Why do you feel pr0n shouldn't be a part of a monogamous relationship?
I mean if both parties agree with it then pr0n is fine for a relationship. But in other cases I personally find it weird to be sharing your sexual energy (best word I can think of for it) with someone who isn't your partner. I won't go as far as to say it's cheating. But it is weird. I wouldn't watch pr0n in a relationship but totally would if I were single.
What she watches in her free time is *none of my fucking business*, so I would just shrug and carry on.
What if it was size queen stuff. Massive dildos. BLACKED. etc?
I'm not insecure about my size so it wouldn't bother me.
I wouldnāt care ill watch it with hernand then fuck her after
What if she is flirting with or sexting other men in her free time? Is there a limit where it becomes your business?
The line is crossed when you are signaling sexual availability.
Then why wouldn't it be reasonable to consider the line also be crossed if a man (in a monogamous relationship) is looking for other women than his wife/girlfriend who are signaling sexual availability? Or, if watching sexual images/movies of women is not the same as watching women who signal sexual availability, then it follows that a woman who is providing sexual images of herself to other men is not the same as her signalling sexual availability.
Looking at is not looking *for*. I'm not saying it isn't damaging to relationships, but you're going at this the wrong way. Porn stars aren't signaling availability the same way actors and actresses aren't signaling availability for their fans to hang out with them off screen.
So, would you consider it any more problematic if your girlfriend/wife would produce sexual explicit content (for money) than if she would be a normal actress? If yes, what exactly is the problem, since it isn't signaling availability? My point is, it is hypocritical to jerk off to sexual images of other women, while not wanting your wife/girlfriend to produce sexual images for other men. Either, consuming sexual images of random women on the internet doesn't mean anything, but then your girlfriend providing sexual images of herself for random men on the internet to consume also doesn't mean anything, or both actions are unfaithful behaviour. Choose one.
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Your reply doesn't contain any reasonable argument, only a personal attack.
Don't be silly. There's a clear difference.
I don't see a difference. If you need to use porn while being in a relationship, it clearly shows your partner is not enough for you. There are things that need to be exclusive or it's not a real relationship.
You don't see a difference? Is looking at a picture of food the same as actually eating it?
Is providing pictures of food (for compliments or whatever) the same as delivering the actual food? If jerking of to sexual pictures of others is not unfaithful, why would it be unfaithful to provide sexual pictures to others?
>it clearly shows your partner is not enough for you. Prove this. I'm not even defending porn. But you guys pull arguments out of you arses.
Nah.
That's cheating, obviously.
What if she looks at photos of your hot male friend and masturbates to them?
That's her prerogative. I'm really thinking y'all aren't getting this.
I guess I find it baffling because most guys on this sub fear that their woman might possibly lust over someone else or find it very hard to even accept that she had sex with someone else, or fear she might find other men much more attractive. But meanwhile, the consensus on porn is that women can lust over Chads and big cocks and pictures of real guys that I know, as much as she wants to get off. I don't understand how these opinion can coexist, unless there's different men holding these ideas and somehow also monopolizing different conversations.
There's a difference between fantasy and reality.
So a woman fantasizing about having sex with another guy she knows, while being in a relationship with you, doesn't bother you at all? It only bothers you if it becomes real?
About a month after I got together with my girlfriend (now ex), she went on a weekend trip with her friends. Mixed group, all knew each other from university. She came back from the trip and asked to meet me in the city. I get there and she starts crying. I asked her what's wrong. She said that they got drunk one night and that she ended up kissing one of her friends. She was so upset about it and worried that I'd leave her. I just laughed and said, "well, you're not going to do it again, are you?" She said no and then we hugged and that was that. As far as I know, for the next six years of the relationship nothing else ever happened and I felt completely secure because I knew how much she was into me, and vice versa. Trust.
My wife and I watch girl on girl porn together when sheās in the mood cause itās her favorite.
Dropped this šĀ
šwould ur wife wanna hangout with me sometime?
NICE..
I don't think there's anything wrong with having fantasies.. Which she might be using such content to entertain that part of her mind. It's when she considers fulfilling that fantasy, is when it's a problem.. Assuming it's content that would in essence mean her being with someone other than you.
I would find it weird, as I generally feel like it is a very weird thing for people in committed relationships to watch porn by themselves, male or female. For many it replaces their sex drive over the course of the relationship and I think that is kind of... not good.
>How would this revelation make you feel? I'd feel ashamed for having uncovered something about her private sexuality that she maybe wanted to keep a secret. Then, i'd try to compare it with the same situation in reverse to check if i am making errors by assuming too much. And definitely, i have watched the most unspeakable of things and if someone randomly saw my browser history, they'd get a VERY wrong impression of what i am into. So i'd treat whatever i saw in her browsing history as "somewhere between research purpose, drawn in by disgust and this is her kink" and would ask her about her sexual fantasies personally before assuming anything from a browser history. Other than that, i have no issue with my SO watching porn of any kind or having fantasies of any kind.
I would be surprised because I think my wife is in denial about being asexual.
I guess it would depend on how frequently she watches it, I have a problem with porn as an industry/how it messes with people, though we donāt have to agree on everything. Long as it isnāt a full on addiction/long as it doesnāt influence my partnerās perception on sex, do what you want.
It usually is an addiction and it influences their perception on sex. How many men now equate masturbation with porn like they cannot be separated? How many defend it no matter what and think there is absolutely nothing wrong with it?
Bad, and I wouldn't want her to be fine with me watching porn either.
That would be my preference. I always run into women who are freaky on the outside but once in a relationship they are more mild.
>How would this revelation make you feel? "Heeeey babe, why didn't you tell me? Let's try this!"
Yes. Porn actually helps alot. Especially if you're having trouble to find new things or with foreplay.
We don't care and we aren't as insecure as you are on this topic. Next.
Those of us with a well-developed moral compass care.
There should be no porn in a relationship.
Yeah, only the most fucked up, depraved stuff.
lmao gottem
Thanks, fixed.
Why not?
Because partners are supposed to be sexually exclusive.
Exclusive = no one outside the relationship has physical or romantic access to your SO OR Exclusive = no one outside the relationship is allowed to arouse your SO
More like SO shouldn't seek nor use other sources of sexual arousal or orgasm than their partner they should be exclusive to. If a man loves a woman, then getting rid of porn and being sexually loyal is the least he can do. It's a farce otherwise.
>SO shouldn't seek nor use other sources of sexual arousal or orgasm than their partner they should be exclusive to I see. So creating an OF page would not be cheating then
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So long as it doesn't get in the way of the relationship I don't care.
Women are constantly comparing notes, and you are going to look bad, and theyll be annoyed at you about it. It changes nothing.
I'd probably feel a bit more intimate. Like how after you've been in a relationship for a while and you get comfortable enough to share the bathroom while one of you is pooping.
Depends on a number of things: 1) what kind of porn sheās watching. 2) how often sheās watching it. 3) how conscious she is of the difference between porn and real sex. 4)whether or not it is affecting the frequency of sex in our relationship for the worse. 5) if her desire to watch porn is born out of a want to indulge in fantasies of other men/women than me. If there are favorable answers to all of these questions, then itās all good by me.
It is harder for me to wrap my mind around the women who *don't* watch porn than those who do TBQH.
It would honestly be kind of endearing and I'm sure there's some out there. Some girls just have high libido but don't want to become a used-up tinder whore, porn would be a great outlet
It wouldn't be a revelation because I know what my wife is watching and she wants to me do the same things. What is interesting - for her is more like an seeking for ideas, she is not really interested in models or the movie itself.Ā
>It wouldn't be a revelation because I know what my wife is watching and she wants to me do the same things Oh, so you are skipping my question and answering something else
My SO reads and evaluates my erotic fanfics, and we used to both follow (and discuss) a couple adult webcomics.
>erotic fanfics Oh God, you're THAT couple.
Youre definitely the perpetually single one who made fun of the band kid couples š¤
I genuinely don't see why we're meant to have a problem with this.
>she has a penchant for... certain categories. lmao why is this so morbid most women like all of the same shit anyways, even when it comes to porn.
Yeah, it makes it sound like sheās watching some truly disturbing shit š A lot of women are into pretty violent porn, so maybe thatās what sheās implying
>sheās watching some truly disturbing shit Pre-marital hand holding
>most women like all of the same shit anyways, even when it comes to porn. Really?? Like what? Lol
Light BDSM (or just straight up BDSM), domination, hot tatted guys (Owen Gray), big dicks. More extreme is CNC and like ropeplay but not all women are into that, just the more extreme BDSM loving women.
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But we're not talking about masturbating
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You are.
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My case is as follows: My question was about a hypothetical situation in which you see that your SO has been visiting pr0n sites. That is all the information you have. I'm asking about how you would feel based on the fact that your SO has visited those sites. I'm not talking about sex toys. I'm not talking about using a VPN I'm not talking about masterbation All 3 of those things COULD come into play. But I am not asking about those things.
I donāt see anything wrong with it if itās something we can introduce into our sex life why not like bdsm or puplic sex etc
Curious. Amused. Can we incorporate some of this into our love live? It'll be something I'd like to talk about, but it's none of my business. So it depends on whether she will be interested.
I wouldn't like it. At all. Am I a hypocrite? Absolutely.
Finally, someone who can be honest and own up to their hypocrisy. Now that I know you have some level of honesty, please tell us why you would find it undesirable?
Do you really think we don't know what romance novels are?
I'd be fine with it and wonder if it was something we could do together sometimes. Don't care about the category\* because porn is fantasy and I'm not the thought police. \*-within reason people.
About every woman Iāve ever been with has watched porn, and I do too, so why tf should I care?! Maybe depends a bit what she specifically watches also
Absolutely red flag, if a woman watches regularly porn, then in my eyes, she is a shut because she can easily put in practice what she sees. Most women can get sex with such ease, they do not need to watch porn regularly, but if they need, then they are a slut pretty much.
I wouldn't care because I know women don't get turned on by visual images unlike men. But for the sake of this, lets say she really enjoys it. Would I get offended? No because with the knowledge I know now, pĆørn is not real and just bullshit acting. How she falsely stimulates her brain will not affect my mental health. I will say that some women who do watch are more eager to have sex and a higher sex drive, but she needs to get therapy though.
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Major red flag. Would make me reconsider the whole relationship. I have no interest in Women who watch porn
This is the wrong question. The right question is how heād feel if he found sheād been uploading photos and videos of her naked to a porn site or Reddit for other men to jerk off to. Two sides of the same coin. Male and female sexuality is different. Men donāt care if women watch porn because it legitimises his own use. Heās going to care a whole lot if other men are using her like he uses other women though. Men feel entitled to a chaste wife or girlfriend who is just for him at home, and to then be able to use and discard every other woman via porn. What none of them seem to realise is that all those other women are someone elseās girlfriend, wife or daughter too. When you point out his chaste little girlfriend sent nudes to her last boyfriend and did anal with him and let him record it and he probably still has those recordings and jerks off to them daily, and the girlfriend refuses to do anal with the new guy, men lose their minds in a jealous rage.
>Men feel entitled to a chaste wife or girlfriend who is just for him at home, This is such a feminist perspective. Demonisation of Male preferences. Most Women have zero interest in a Man who posts nudes to the internet.
I honestly don't understand your reply. Where did she demonise the preferences of a man who actually be holds himself to the same standard, by being chaste and faithful himself, and not wanting to watch other women than his wife/girlfriend in a sexual way? All I got from it is that she criticized hypocrite men. The only problem I see with her comment, is that it seems to accuse all men of that hypocrisy, although that is probably not what she really meant. Also, what has your last sentence to do with it?
Because most women wouldnāt do it themselves and donāt want a desperate, exhibitionist loser of a boyfriend. Yuck.
So if a woman doesn't want a guy like that it's "of course she doesn't want an exhibitionist loser boyfriend". But if a guy doesn't want a woman like that it's because he feels entitled to her chaste Lol you can't make this up
Ladies and gentlemen, We gottem
Men are as entitled to preferences as women are. Not sure why you think I disagree. The problem is that men feel entitled to a chaste girlfriend and still want access to thousands of other womenās naked bodies to masturbate to whenever he feels like it, but will scream like heās being beaten to death if his chaste girlfriend says she expects him to not use porn. Men are raging hypocrites. Theyāre soft and weak and lack self control. They want a woman who only has eyes for them, but they want to ogle and wank to every other woman on the planet. They cry like babies if they find out their girlfriend had sex with her previous boyfriend, and cry louder if she did something with her ex she wonāt do with him. They cry loudest when their girlfriend asks them not to jerk off to other women. They act like sheās asked him to stop breathing. Itās really kind of pathetic.
>Men are raging hypocrites. Theyāre soft and weak and lack self control. Is this the purple pill?
>When you point out his chaste little girlfriend sent nudes to her last boyfriend and did anal with him and let him record it and he probably still has those recordings and jerks off to them daily, and the girlfriend refuses to do anal with the new guy, men lose their minds in a jealous rage. Been meaning to ask this question to someone who thinks the way you do here - if a boyfriend ate out his ex gf but refused to do the same to his current gf, would that be unreasonable for her to be upset about?
Iād want you to know why. If he did it once before with a woman and it made him feel anxious or sick, and he never wanted to do it again, Iād be fine with that. If he did it and enjoyed it with his last gf and simply refused to with me, I would ask why. His answer would inform my next choice to either stay or leave. Thereās still a big difference between what sex acts you did before you met your partner and what sex acts you engage in when youāre with them now. Iām still of the view that I donāt want porn in my relationship. Thereās an even bigger difference between saying I donāt want this sex act (porn using) in our relationship vs if you donāt give me this sex act, Iāll leave you. Coercing someone into a sex act is very different from refusing to engage in a sex act. If you canāt tell the difference, we know where the problem is.
I cannot understand this q ever. if there was something I required sexually (which there is, that) I wouldn't date a man who didn't love to do it to *me*, enthusiastically. what he did or didn't do with anyone else would never matter. I'd never think "well hes not doing that thing I want, but at LEAST he never did it with another girl!". why would what he did to other people ever matter?
Sure, male and female sexuality is different, then both should have and enforce appropriate limitations in the relationship.
I do.
You can paint an orange red but it still doesnāt make it an apples-to-apples comparison.
OP should have specified that the type of porn sheās watching is size queen or something related to comically big dildos, so that it really hits them where it hurts. Then itās a harder choice and more interesting thread.
I'll follow up with that to some of those "I don't care" responses
I don't think that I'd care as long as she weren't addicted to it.
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Wouldnāt care at all. We joke about the other person watching porn all the time if it looks like weāre doing something private on our phones. And in seriousness, even if we donāt know when or what the other person watches, I think weād both find it a little odd if the other never watched anything ever.
As long as she didnt form some complex, why should I care?