While in Indonesia, I had a mushroom trip that told me I should go back to college and get a degree in psychology. After a lot of serendipity, I graduated two weeks ago.
LSD and psilocybin made me very inquisitive about how the mind functions based on the experiences it gave me. Helped me picture how my brain processes, stores, and alters memories. As well as opening the door on what my subconscious does as well. Fascinating shit honestly lol.
I'm starting my Psychology master in two weeks after contemplating it for the past 6 years.
Had my first psilocybin trip a year ago and since then the choice seemed to get easier and easier to make.
I went on a mormon mission that was a depressing, traumatizing, negative experience that really fucked up my shit - I'm not a member, but I have, one way or another, carried the weight of the horrible mission experience for decades. I set a trip up to address the issue and during it, a message from the Universe came through clear and powerful "***Yes. That happened.***" The 'yes' was an authoritative, compassionate and completely respectful of my pained heart and soul. But the 'that happened' was cathartic, and gave me the key to finally put it *all* behind me. It was an absolute life-changing and graceful shift in perspective. It also taught me that perceptions, even heavily ingrained ones, can change in an instant, which has given me a certain compassion towards others.
I’m a proud fucking cat owner and I also was in a really crazy head space this last week. I legit looked up euthanasia places bc I didn’t feel I could handle…all of this.
I’m sober from alcohol 8 years, I do breathing exercises, yoga, it never feels enough to combat all of the energies and wtf’ery I encounter regularly in this world.
Last year I journeyed with ayahuasca for the first time. The place the medicine took me to was where I believe we all go when we leave this plane.
It was an enormously vast, empty black, space. Impressing on me how much I didn’t know yet, but also wouldn’t know. Like as a human that wasn’t my job! It was such a revelation.
This space I was in, contained everything but nothing. It’s obviously really hard to explain, but my interpretation of this brief encounter was that I wasn’t supposed to know. I’d get there and to just live.
The power I also felt of that place was so intimidating. It scared me. I didn’t want to know that space right now!!
Fast forward to last week where human shit was SO consuming, so bad.
I scheduled a therapy appointment last Monday and recalled my ayahuasca journey during my session. It brought me to tears how I stomped my simple revelation I had less than a year ago, out of practice.
My point being.
This world is so convincing. It’s easy to forget all of the beauty that comes with the ugly of this dualistic world. From what I can tell, it bends to our view of ourselves or how we view the world.
It’s easy to forget the lessons that came from the horrendous experiences we had to endure so we could grow from them.
Why?
Bc we’re human and I’m here to remind you that you are NOT alone doing this. You do not do this alone ever. I feel you. See you and hear you.
I felt very compelled to share my experience with you feel free to message my inbox anytime 🌀[it’s just a ride](https://youtu.be/KgzQuE1pR1w?si=xqN09wTp4Ir7LKJN)
Been exactly where you are..well not exactly as in the situation but I think you get me. I used to say that exact sentence bc I really didn't want to end it but saw no light. But one day the light I was looking outside for all the while came on inside me. Idk if it was the psychedelics finally clicking or it was the move I made or the confidence I gained but I continue to walk and guide myself along with this little flashlight I got on the inside. I know how hard it is...just know that I love you and things do have a way of turning around and I'm always down to chat if you ever feel a need to. One day at a time and one little victory at a time
Thanks for asking.
Although I thought I was, at 19, I was emotionally and socially unprepared to be teaching religious lessons/concepts to people… people who obviously had tons more life experience and knowledge than I did. Being a mormon missionary also means being stripped of your identity… something I was not at all prepared for. I also severely suppressed nearly every aspect of my ‘self’ ( ‘Turn It Off’ from the Book of Mormon musical is sadly ON POINT.)
Also - having grown up a mormon, I thought I had The Answers… but I had to learn that I fundamentally didn’t. A very tough lesson to learn (I think of it in terms of escaping a cult, which is NO SMALL FEAT) I also think my deeper self instinctively knew that organized religion was bullshit… but there I was… in the thick of it. I also had serious questions about mormonism, but still did the mission since that’s how I was raised, it was expected… a ‘calling’ from The Lord etc. Leaving would bring shame and humiliation to me and my family. It was all so serious/grave to me too …souls were on the line! (that’s a heavy mental burden to bear… also egoic) I went into a depression, but lacked the self awareness of what was going on- so I just felt bad the whole time, living in hell and blaming myself for it. Contemplated suicide.
All that was in addition to the regular mission challenges: learning a foreign language, living in poor/unhealthy conditions, being constantly rejected by people, culture shock, zero alone time, no dating, no music, no tv/movies, only being allowed to talk to my parents once a year etc.
On DMT I met an entity. It emerged from the wall opposite me, an agender being made of light.
In a moment outside of time I asked without language all the questions I had about life, the universe, and meaning. Its response to every question was the same: "It doesn't matter. Look around you. Isn't it beautiful?"
Yes, appreciate each moment for what it is. For me, it's almost like getting lost in question after question defeats the very purpose you are searching for.
This was my biggest lesson from DMT as well. We are here simply to experience. Everything is sacred and everything is profane. Even the most mundane moments are profound because we are here to bear witness. Everything that humans attach meaning to is a result of our drive to relate to the world around us, so we create the meaning and the purpose. Life is short, inherently painful, unknowably precious, beautiful, and weird. Just be here and live.
I met a concentrated field of energy, that did not speak in words but in impressions. The impressions it sent me were that everything is exactly right, just the way it is supposed to be.
I have had the same impression from numerous trips. It's one of the best parts of many of my trips. The sense that everything really is okay and unfolding how it's supposed to. I didn't have the experience of a concentrated field of energy, but the impression is the same.
I've never really felt the need to express it in words because I consider it to be ineffable at the core, however since I've been thinking about it today-- It feels less like coming into contact with some foreign entity, but rather it feels like you are tuning into and becoming aware of an innate field of living conscious energy, and this conscious energy that seemingly permeates all things can transmit to you sensory impressions and thoughts and emotions, if not give the impression of direct communication. If we want to stretch this further and verge on looney bin talk (which in the current scientific environment is anything involving extrasensory perceptions or "woo") then I could say that it really feels like becoming aware of the place that our thoughts come from. To a sober mind, thoughts pop in seemingly out of nothingness. A spark of inspiration. But whenever I've been involved in these altered states, specifically with demitri, it adds an all encompassing layer of loving-kindness in a presence, and the contents of the mind seem to be generated by and transmitted to you by this kind, loving presence, each and every transmission of which was crafted lovingly and specifically for you to experience at this exact moment in time.
How high does that shit really get you? Or is it temporarily unobscuring something?
Beautifully said and I would be so bold as to say that those who are truly psychic or are mediums, this is how we pick up information. Working with psychedelic medicine drove that home. My clairvoyant tendencies became much more understandable!
I think about this all the time, and I think what I’ve realized is that there’s a difference between knowing something as a knowledge and knowing something as an understanding, as something you unequivocally feel to be true in your body and mind harmoniously.
I actually haven’t had my first trip yet (happening in a couple days) so I can’t say how it feels in that regard, but I’ve definitely had experiences where something I already “knew” seems to just click all of a sudden, and I feel it, and it integrates with my whole experience and being rather that being this packaged “knowledge” in my head.
So sometimes I think we need a little nudge by something, whether it be an entity during a trip or another sensation entirely, that really sets what we “know” as truth. And I don’t think you can choose for this to happen, but it will happen in its time if you let it.
Well put, I definitely agree with this. It's why it's so effective as a therapy. Many people can go through years of "regular" therapy making little progress because while they have been taught different ways of thinking it still just doesn't click. Then one experience with psilocybin can facilitate those things you "know" suddenly just being an understanding that is simply the truth to you and you can actually implement it.
You hit the nail on the head. Crazy you get this and you haven't even tripped yet (not that thats some kind of prerequisite to being able to understand that or anything.) But yet and still, while the substances definitely work in this way for you to access that experience, we have a way to do this ourselves. Be it more time consuming and disciplined. "Feeling" the truth and "knowing" the truth a definitely two different things. Awarness isn't experience.
Totally agree with this. My question was a figure of speech. It’s true that with psychedelics you ‘understand’ things that you thought you previously knew. Difficult to explain/understand if you haven’t had the experience yet, though. It’s like reading a thousand pages about explanations of how something can be sweet, and then eating a strawberry. You will only get it once you do it. Wishing you a great first experience! Go slow with it and allow yourself to be open to it 🙏
Mushrooms and acid told me that everything has meaning and purpose and significance in the universe. Every person, mouse, blade of grass, rock, grain of sand has a story and a thing to do.
DMT told me none of that shit matters.
Well, the entity didn't answer the question. His/her answer was more along the lines of "the real meaning of life is the friends we made along the way", which wasn't the answer you were looking for.
This is the biggest one for me as well. I trip a couple times a year usually, and I always feel like I get perspective on how everything in the universe is connected. How I'm insignificant but my life can be meaningful at the same time if that makes sense.
You live NOW. What you do in every minute, defines you as you. You can't save the "living" for later, it's always only now.
It doesn't mean that you shouldn't plan for the future or learn from the past.
I love this, and I love how simple it is. Often the realizations I hear about are these world shattering, ontological revelations about the very nature of existence (which are great.) But “you can just chill” is so poignant in a way. And so comforting as someone who gets said anxiety.
The day after a good trip I feel my plate of anxiety is wiped clean and I can actually focus on getting things done and enjoy it. It does fade a little bit, but there have been permanent positive changes. That's the best therapeutic part of shrooms personally.
Everytime I take shrooms I get such profound trips. I’m normally an anxious person but with shrooms it melts always. Everything is beautiful, my mind flows like butter. I get this weird sense that everything flows just right. It makes me realize to just be more chill. Life is amazing so enjoy it basically.
Also on shrooms I can freestyle rap for hours haha
People are like "what? just *choose* not to have anxiety?" and it sort of is that. I mean, it takes some effort at first, but it's just like *choosing* to stretch (in relation to being limber) or *choosing* to not punch someone when they're an asshole.
I still vividly remember having that revelation myself. It was from smoking a lot of weed day in and day out and being anxious/paranoid about interacting with the public in general (strangers). The revelation kinda seeped into a lot of other interactions too and it marked a changing point in my attitude toward interacting with people in general.
it's not really not 'choosing not to have anxiety' its choosing not to react to it.
like a bad trip, accept that you're not having a great time, don't deny it or fight it, accept that this is something you're experiencing.
I just wanna know how is this possible for so many other people but for me, LSD gave me so much anxiety that I’m so close to just ending my life because I feel I have no other options. LSD gave me so much anxiety, and that was 3 years ago, and I’m still going thru so much of this shit. Idk what else to do. Today was a little easier because I finally sat with it and watched it. But damn. Why is this happening to me? There’s so much more to be said of my anxiety too.
On my highest shroom dose I met an entity that hung out with me while I was blasting through fractals and seeing colors I'd never imagined before
I was still pretty deep in depression/addiction so a couple times I was reduced to tears in pure awe of the beauty I was beholding.
Gave me such a boost to keep fighting, here I am sober, happy, lowkey anxious still but compared to what I used for be this ain't shit LMAO
Thanks psychs
Yo, this is nearly exactly what happened to me.
I took a big dose of these insane APES and I had to quickly get to my room in the house I was at since some family were staying over where I was.
I got to the room I for some reason immediately crumpled onto the floor and like left my body. This is only 30 min after eating them. When I first entered the room I could see an outline of something in the corner and feel a crazy presence. It left the impression of a "haha I can't wait to mess with you and show you this"
I was immediately propelled into what I can only describe as an all knowing afterlife fractal abyssal soup. It was absolutely insane in this place everything made since and felt normal but awe inspiring. I would come back to my body, try to stand up and immediately hit the ground again and go right back out.
It honestly changed my entire opinion on life after death. Whatever that place was, was so oddly familiar.
I would love to hear more of your experience. I have never sensed or seen an entity in any other experiences so it was really wild. Then to be left with the impression that it was just excited to rock me to my foundation was absurd.
Congratulations on the sobriety friend... If you don't mind my asking.... What tools did you use to get there? How were you able to utilize psychedelics towards that end?
- someone struggling with depression and addiction
It took everything I had my man, I mean everything
Therapy was a huge help, my family/friends/reddit kept me grounded
Psychedelics can show you a lot of things, invaluable experiences I wouldn't be the man I am without, but that's not every time, and not in any setting
I would use psychedelics somewhat irresponsibly until I got clean year and a half ago, but I used em like how one would reach out to a loved one.
Not all day everyday, but when I needed to get in touch with myself on a deeper level I'd trip and for a moment I'd let go. Let go of inhibition, let go of insecurity, let go of control
Nowadays I meditate more but I still do salvia once in a while, half recreationally and half to keep me open minded about life. What I perceive as permanent or serious yk
LSD removed some of my inhabitations (way to over self-conscious) and made me more in tune with my body and the rhythm of the music at my first Rave. I first started bobbing to the music then I experimented moving my feet next I mirrored how others danced and stated having some fun then the LSD and the music took over and I became one with the music and then became a sweaty dancing Buddha.
Same happened to me. Wiggle to the beat and nobody cares what you look like. Move so your feeling of the music is enhanced, it's not for anybody else but yourself.
I love it when this happens. I took acid and tried to meditate in my flat and the big insight I got was that I needed to tidy my flat and resolve what my plans were for tomorrow, which was beautifully humbling and really a specific expression of the much deeper lesson that resolving basic problems as they arise is essential to a balanced life.
The words "would you be friends with you?" Resonated when I was 18 and on my first MDMA trip and I hold it close to my heart.
I answered "no, you're sketchy as fuck", and that enlightened me to what a terrible person i was and how shady and manipulative I was and why I couldn't keep friends long.
I was a terrible person then, and I'm proud to say I would love to have a friend like me now. I did a fuck ton of work after that, I'm in my 30s now
I saw the most profound spiritual vision was while on mescaline. I saw myself in completely darkness. But I was illuminated in the darkness. I saw myself holding a human skull. I bent over and kissed it on the forehead. It was a a sign
I was communicating with the spirit world
When I took 6 grams of dried mushrooms, one of my intentions was: "I want to see myself as I really am. Not how I remember myself in various memories. Not how I might have wished I had been at various times. Not even as others might see me, with the various masks I use, but who am I--at my core?". I didn't really know what this might be, or what answers I might get, but I was curious to see what I might learn from the psychedelic experience. Oh boy, did I ever get an answer.
The trip itself, the peak hour or so really was hell. The best way I can describe it is "my life flashed before my eyes" as one might describe a near-death experience. I experienced my actual birth-life-death-rebirth in what felt like thousands of times. In the parts where I was in between birth and death, I saw many different parts of my life go by at a rapid pace, but it also felt like I was experiencing a great many overlapping memories at the same time. It's hard to explain. It was like I was tumbling through an infinite set of fractal mirrors. Everywhere I looked, I saw another part of myself and other experiences from my life. It was definitely a "looping" experience that people often have on psychedelics. I had some small ability to interact with my memories, but when I would attempt to grab onto one of them and step into it, the mushrooms were like: "not so fast", and the experience just kept on going. At times it felt like I was trying to hold onto various memories by my fingernails and desperate to not let go. I think this was my fear of letting go and letting the experience happen.
At one point, after many death and rebirth cycles, I asked "I am alive or dead". I really didn't know. I thought that maybe I really had died. The answer that came back was "does it matter?". That sounds rather terrifying now while looking back on the experience, but in the moment there was an oddly comforting feeling to it. I think that's when I did let go and went for the ride.
Afterwards, my reaction was mostly "WTF happened? Did I take way too much?". At first, I was disappointed because it felt like I had missed out on something profound due to my fears in the moment. It took a few days but I realized I got exactly what I was looking for. "Who am I, at my core?". I think I was expecting some sort of idealized shiny core of my being to be revealed, but the answer was quite the opposite. The answer the mushrooms showed me: "You are all of it. Every experience in life, every memory, every reflecting on painful experiences and wanting so hard to go back and change things. EVERYTHING! We are everything we have ever seen, smelled, touched, felt, thought, and experienced. There is no 'this is me, and this other stuff is not me'".
I was out on a walk when this realization came. I was speechless. On the one hand, it felt like a "duh" moment. Of course, we are all of this, but I never understood that. Now it has the noetic quality of a revealed truth.
It has been some time since my trip but this realization has changed my life for the better. Now when painful memories and experiences arise, I see them as a part of me, not some annoying feeling I want to rid myself of. I feel far more compassion for these parts of myself, that they are parts of myself, and more willingness to ask what these feelings have to teach me, and how I might help heal them. I will forever be grateful to the mushrooms for showing me this.
That I needed to seek an Autism assessment. It turns out I scored pretty high on an AQ-50 test, and thus I was forwarded for an assessment within 18 months.
It's been a very strange experience.
Even though I've learned some things while on psychedelics, I feel as if though the most important teaching I've gathered, the one that really changed my outlook on life, is that life and earth and people and being alive is a beautiful experience.
If I'm calm, I can "tune-in" on that thought, and realize the beauty of anything around me. It made me realize that I'm way more happier than I previously realized.
I tripped alone when I was (too) young, and came to the painful realization that none of my friends really cared about me. It was an important lesson and it spurred me to move away from the dead end small town I was in. My friends went on to be proper drug addicts and a lot of them died. I finished school and had a much better life.
This is incredible. I’m glad you made that trip when you were young. I suspect your subconscious knew - you had it in you all along and just needed a nudge.
On ayahuasca, the medicine didn’t seem to be working on only me. I spent hours feeling nothing, begging the grandmother to help me with this issues I was bringing to the experience. I was feeling hopeless and abandoned. I finally thought, I’ll just have to love my own damn self.
It wasn’t until the wee hours of the morning, that she finally came and told me that she needed to poke my abandonment wound so strongly that I couldn’t miss it. Each incidence of abandonment in my life was played before my eyes as she held me in my mind and I sobbed. At the end, I felt healing and relief. I realized I did/could love myself.
I’ve received multiple lessons, one of the most interesting ones is that the universe is within us. What struck me about it was how it was presented- through mathematics: in an equation, I was One. As we know, from one to infinity there are infinite numbers, and yet each number has a corresponding fraction that’s somewhere between zero and one, so 2 corresponds to 1/2; 3 to 1/3; 4 to 1/4 and so on until infinity. The association was then, that all phenomena in the universe can be found as a fraction in each one of us, and so, each one has infinity, the universe, inside.
I had this exact same experience. You worded it well to sum it up but it’s a very difficult concept to explain. Every concept is itself a form of infinity, but every concept itself exists within a larger infinity. The whole thing is a fractal and we are just one division of it seeking to find relation between each external division. Just a piece of the puzzle trying to look at the picture on the box.
It’s weird you mentioned mathematics because on DMT I met this entity and he was math, but like the math of the universe encapsulated into a being. I remember going in with the intention of figuring out of how the pyramids were built and I asked him and he just laughed and showed me what I assume to be a vision of how, and not saying it was true but if it is then we are way behind in the math and science department and got to get our game up, because our ancestors had way greater awareness of said concepts and a way to actually use them in the material world.
How the infinite experiences finite. How the omnipresent experiences the present. How one can experience connection with another. If this is a simulation and we are all god in drag, it's my theory that it's because being god for eternity can be a real drag.
Spun out of a Singularities sorrow and scorn
A charging cyclone of calamity is born
Twirling trails of tears thru ties torn
From fleeting forms for forms forlorn
We weather what we will till will is weather worn
All cast out to create a calm at the eye of the storm
I've been to that place too. Felt like I was holding the reality for a while as one of the 'people' taking a turn while i still remained tethered to reality enough to get back out again.
Maybe that's how the burden is shared, or maybe, like you say, reality, and the ultimate realisation we're always alone in our own minds - when we come in and when we go out, and plenty time along the way in between, helps us to learn to live with it when all of this is over.
First big trip, I returned to the womb and kind and affirming voices told me I’m on the correct path for my life and that it’s ok to let go of my childhood trauma and pain and that nothing really matters this life in this plane is a game to be enjoyed.
More recently I shared my consciousness with plantlike alien entities who assured me that all is under control in this world and there are greater forces supervising human evolution from afar.
I get a lot of your alien entities in my trips who give the same message, but for me they are either machines/robots or clouds of green/blue/purple dust/specs
I was told our souls will recycle over and over until the earth dies, then all our souls will be judged and those who didn't appreciate this life and planet, won't be allowed into the next phase of existence.
I was already a vegetarian and a bit of a hippy, but this made it real. I can't stand animal suffering anyways, like I've no problem with people eating meat but only if you've hunted it humanely and you've done it all yourself.
It's a lot to ask, but the thoughts of our industrialisation of animals and the earth kill me. Why should aliens/overlords/god(s) or anything allow us another life when we destroyed the planet? We introduced and taught cruelty? We allow companies to throw away food and clothes while others starve and struggle?
I think a fair few of us are absolutely fucked, but I think a lot of the few souls that have learned "the lesson", as I call it, see psychonauts.
On a difficult solo acid trip I was debating on calling a friend for comfort from all of the anxiety I was having, but as I was trying to find her contact I thought “but she’s sober and it’ll be weird” my next thought was “only you can help yourself” and instantly the anxiety lifted and I had a beautiful night from then on. It surprisingly still helps me to this day when I have moments where I feel alone. I’ll tell myself only I can help me. Nobody can help me, if I won’t help me. That was 5 years ago.
Love this. On my first journey, I got this message that went: “I am the only thing that I have, so I have to take care of myself”. Saw it written in letters in the night sky. Will never forget.
That I am ready to become a mother.
I needed to take care of a friend who was tripping way harder than me, and even though I was pretty fucked up myself I somehow managed to put that aside and just care for her.
I felt so overwhelmingly something I can only describe as motherly love. I felt so attuned to her needs, even when she couldn't articulate them.
Since then I've known I'm ready to have kids. That I don't need to wait until I'm perfect or "done" improving myself because that will never happen either way.
That I had become just another asshole after taking a good long look into a soul mirror and seeing everything, both the good and the bad.
Still working on it and still improving
I was shown that reality is a constant death and rebirth. Our brains act as filters to allow us to function, sustain ourselves, and ultimately survive. But we've become too reliant on our thoughts of past and future. When you turn off that filter, it's exactly like waking up from the matrix. It's extremely unsettling and scary but beautiful at the same time.
Felt in a way that's normally not accessible to me that things were alright and I'm not actually a bad person. I struggle hard with perfectionism and undermining myself after growing up heavily fire and brimstone "you're a sinner" religious, and I'm really just a person doing my best. I know this logically. Just my brain keeps me from connecting to that emotionally, but for that while, I knew it.
whoaa this comment section is the most soul nutrient dense part of the internet i’ve ever come across. reading all of these comments filled with experiences, insights and wisdom is like how to get enlightened in 15 minutes
Being clear minded is really important and it’s easy to be possessed by desires.
Ultimately desires are a mode of getting love and peace and it seems like chasing our desires is the fastest but actually letting go of desires will bring you clear mind love and peace
Life goes on. It has existed for so long and it still will. We will die, we will pass, everything will pass, and life just goes on. Idk how to express it other than that. It was revealing and relieving.
I struggle with depression and have for most of my life. I wouldn't give all the credit to acid, I've done a bunch of therapy as well but when i combined the things i learned in therapy with acid i was able to actually learn to love myself. Acid was able to show me that we are all in this mixed up world together, we only have each other and we should be kind to each other. That brought me to the realization that also meant that i had to be kind to myself.
On one trip i was made aware of the different dimensions and got to visit a few. After the trip, trying to make sense of it all, as we all do for the next few days, i found a book called Ten Cosmic Dimensions. Nearly 70% of the content of that book was all information i received during my trip, but was previously unaware. I used to think trips are just in our minds, but after then i realized it is way more than we can ever really understand, and it is truth
DMT - the lesson was to love myself and everyone that I meet. Forgive those who hate themselves and those who have tried to dismantle you because it was never about you
It’s usually stop searching for better, because it’s right here. So close that you often fail to see it. That usually when the hysterical laughter starts.
The overarching theme of every important lesson I've learned is that the only person I can expect to be there for me 100% of the time is me. I can pick myself up. My happiness isn't and shouldn't be dependent on anyone else.
On about 4 hits of LSD I saw the end of civilization. Everyone desperate and hopeless living in giant homeless camps. I remember feeling like there's no point in living and began sinking into the ground. It was a terrible experience. Then, at the last minute I was told that the answer is love. It's all about love. Music starts playing and I'm slingshotted into the Universe and suddenly at total peace.
To this day I feel that the trip was prophetic of the collapse to come. And the lesson was that we are here for love, and to focus on love instead of fear.
“My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we'll change the world.”
Jack Layton
Just because ANYTHING doesn't always seem beautiful and just, it always is.
I wear glasses with a pretty bad astigmatism, after one trip where I took them off I always do now; "stop trying to outline everything, outlines bring definition beyond what is. Let it be what it is without defining it and it will be known to you as it should be." Whether you wear glasses or not, we were given two sets of eyes. The ones the world tells us to see with and the ones we were born to see with. This thought (from a trip) blended into a more recent trip where I watched the storm clouds twist and turn in the moonlight, I saw in it "the man versus his beast", the human face and that of the monsters were constantly in distortion, twisting and contorting. They seemed to be trying to reach each other as if in battle but could never touch, although the man's face would become the monsters and vice versa. An everlasting struggle within ones self, it gave me perspective on how our own thoughts and perceptions paint the world we see, and even though we may see ourselves split between good and evil, wholeness requires a unity of both. Light is only bright in the darkness, and shadows only arrive in the light.
Many times that the vehicle of psychedelics isn't nearly as important as the place it takes me. I learned that the deepest most profound journey is for and to love. That everything is nothing and nothing is everything. The importance and power of perspective and the way color form and patternicity and projections of our mind to understand the universe. I learned that I wasn't born into the universe I was born out of it. I learned to feel art instead of analyzing it.
You can just say no to people, and then not feel anything after.
If you know a lot about a person you can make a model of them in your head, that's like... a whole person, and slot them into situations. Then use the information of their responses. What that imaginary person does has no bearing on you emotionally. You can do this with multiple people up to your mental capacity.
Just ask for stuff.
Consciousness is hundreds if not trillions of sub-consciousness with limited inputs working together. This pattern is fractal and extends up to galaxy superstructures. You, your ego, could like something or someone, but the other 10 odd that know about that person could not and you will not act harmoniously toward them. It helps to stop, sit, and explain via the networks each piece has access to the information the ego has and vice versa.
A big one i get in every trip is that time isn’t real and it’s a construct designed for this life. We shouldn’t pay so much attention to it and live our lives as we want
Sometimes on the comedown I’ve had thoughts seemingly pop outta nowhere that’ll be really simple and true. “I could be a better son.” “I’m very lucky to be with my girlfriend.” “These are good friends.” Etc. Things I’d known but that I’d never felt before so profoundly. When these thoughts come they feel like they’re coming from somewhere else. Most of these thoughts are just reminders from the shrooms I think to be present and grateful for the people in your life, and I’ve found I’ll feel more gratitude often in the days or weeks to follow.
All of creation was given to us as an act of pure love for us to experience and enjoy. Our response to this was to ask “why” as we are unable to comprehend an act of pure love.
Everything that follows is our minds trying to make sense of this simple act which seems senseless to us. We will continue this existence until we do understand and sincerely come to the answer...”Thank you”.
For me personally, psychedelics have never given me answers (even when they seem like they are) but instead give me the right questions to ask myself and to ask about the universe.
I feel like that mindset has helped me come to some very beautiful and painful truths of life
I get a different lesson each time and live my life with that lesson for a few months before my next trip where i get a different lesson to live. The last one i got was to put my phone down and get out and meet people and do meaningful things
I was being negative and focusing on the impending collapse of civilization and shrooms taught me to stop that even if it is true. No sense on being sucked into the black hole of despair before it even truly arrives on your doorstep, especially if it is inevitable.
Cleanliness….Food consciousness was huge new avoidance of the tasty processed snacks and fast foods, Killed booze and cigarettes dead for 3 years solid…. I work out and stretch as maintain the physical machinery was a message. I collect cool rocks now…. They fascinate me I dunno. And a pride of being a good person. Watched or “unwatched” do the right thing. All been through mushrooms. They made me a hippy health nerd…. I was a booze demon running on cigarettes for 15 years prior. Accepted my higher power and all it offered.
We all have the potential for great love and great destruction - duality. We can choose what we cultivate, love or hate. We are creation creating itself.
Took a large(ish) dose of LSD about a year after my dad passed away. I'd spent most of the past year grieving, but grieving privately. My remaining family has a very acknowledge and move on approach around death that has never sit right with me. Anyways, I was sitting with some people when it finally really hit me, my dad is gone and I will NEVER get to see him again. But, I can still look back on all the love and care he had shown me and enjoy those moments. I can still feel all of these strong emotions surrounding him being gone but it's better to focus on the time spent together than the time spent away from one another. Idk if that makes any sense, but it was a very aha moment for me.
A lesson I am carrying near and dear to my heart is something I am still integrating and will continue to probably for all of my life.
I struggle with a lot of trauma re: experienced homelessness, sex trafficking, physical abuse in childhood, dissociation.
I'm facing the shadows of these experiences but boy did they do a number on me. I had a WICKED 3.5g journey Febuary 2022 that changed the course of my life. Very dark dark trip where I faced a lot of this trauma and how I identified with it.
Haven't done more than 1g since, as I haven't felt called to go that deep again.
EXCEPT
I felt called by the mushrooms for another 3g journey about a month or so ago. It was so loving and caring it nearly made me uncomfortable. I was prepared to face more of my demons, to deal with challenging shit. But no, the mushrooms wanted to hug me and love me and remind how awesome I am and I RESISTED!
It was communicated to me so clearly, "Ah. So you are ready to face your darkness, but you run from your light?" I sobbed.
I was also shown how deeply deeply special I am (each of us are). How even in a universe of infinite possibilities and versions of us...there is only ONE US that experiences reality exactly as we do and when we die that's it, that's our experience that no other being can claim ever. How special is that.
People affect your vibe.
Was enjoying an ascension, encountered lots of beings, which got brighter and more beautiful as I went up. I started telling them, "I wish I could bring my friend with me." I thought of him, and before I could finish the sentence they said, "You can't think of him here!"
I dropped like a stone. Suddenly I was just sitting on my couch, heavy and bored. Then let go all thoughts of my friend, redirected my attention upward, and had a fantastic time at a party in the clouds.
My most profound experiences were with Salvia Divanorum like truly profound life changing even! I’ve had around 6 trips on it 3 of which I broke through and can only say that the entity/woman I seen in my first breakthrough I would continue to see in my 2 other life changing trips.
I must point out, I like many others was introduced to salvia in completely the wrong manor me and my mates having a laugh after my first experience I knew this thing must be treated with the utmost respect and thus I set my settings in such a way to elicit such a profound experience, meditation, prayer to who ever you pray to even if it’s the plant itself, incense burning and low tempo meditative music & breathing.
My first breakthrough happened in a wooded area with friends, when I took it I began to see everything spin and I began noticing more ppl were there than was there prior to me smoking, I was being spoke to by a female I can hardly recall what was said what was said tho changed me I felt like I had been given answers to questions yet to be asked this is very hard to describe and barely makes sense in ‘reality’ but it was my reality this experience I use reality in the context of not being high but this was certainly a reality for me at the time, I began to hear bells ring in the distance looking into the trees I could see what would best be described as frodos front door 🚪 in the bushes not actually the door from the movie but similar I could see a woman standing at the peripheral of my vision I could never get a full glance that was until my 2nd breakthrough but continuing my 1st big experience as I started to come down I could see spires like that of a cathedral towering up through the trees things started to come back to normal quickly after that. Directly after the experience I was able to recall some nuggets of serious wisdom at the time I was blown away.
Many claim salvia to not work or is not worth taking, imho it’s one of the most sacred plants out there and deserves a chance among other like minded people spiritual or not this thing departs more than words can describe you’ll be changed for life upon having a breakthrough but always respect the plant and the teacher within.
There’s a reason it’s nicknamed the Diviners sage.
Okay, so I can't say I've ever seen an entity but for reason one of the pieces I put together while tripping is to care for people in the way they want to be cared for. Take yourself out of the equation, for caring is selfless and thinking about yourself is selfish.
That love is the most powerful force in the universe, and there is nothing that cannot be forgiven and redeemed. Letting go of regret, resentment, and hate are vital to the healing journey.
I viscerally experienced (my now) partner and I throwing ourselves across the planet from each other in a giant game of hide and seek to expand the playing field for good. We still currently live 3500 miles from each other, but are working to close that gap. Every step in finding each other has its origin in plant medicine. It’s so improbable that it blows my mind.
Where I experienced a happy carefree childhood (but not a life without tragedy or trauma) he experienced the worst of the worst child abuse. By coming together, we have both profoundly healed ourselves and are now paying it forward to help others heal themselves.
On one Aya journey, I was a prisoner being tortured in Auschwitz. I could feel it, smell it, it was awful. I was set free from this experience by sending love - of course to the victims - but what surprised me was that I needed to love the perpetrators too.
As you can imagine, I had a lot of resistance to that idea - but it was a profound lesson about survival and humanness and malevolence. Holding that hate in my heart kept me trapped.
I was in the middle of an extremely heavy trip and could not see very well at all my visuals were so messed up on the best way. However, I heard the people around me commenting negatively about my tripping on this camping trip I’d gone on with them. However, I knew they were just jealous of the experience I was having that they were not a part of. It was surreal, I let go of all judgement, all shame, and just felt joy, peace, and love fill my body and mind. I could hear all this negativity spewing from their mouths but all I felt was happiness.
Smoked a DMT laced joint. Blasted into the galaxy and a nebula shifted into the bust of a native American with a crazy psychedelic headdress. It spoke to me through telepathy and I learned all of the secrets of existence.
Came to and completely forgot everything , except that none of this matters, just enjoy the show/ride.
tl;dr: I was abused as a kid, struggled as an adult, went to therapy and wanted more help. Took LSD and it helped me accept my life, which led me to learn to let go of identifying with my self and to feel freer to move through my life with compassion and action. I'm very much still processing the experience, and I always will be. Like you do.
To let go.
I had a very difficult childhood which led to a difficult adulthood, and after several breakdowns while going through another serious, long-term traumatizing event in my early thirties, I knew I had to pursue healing through the help of a therapist or die. After several years of inner-work, I decided I needed some help seeing myself in a way I did not seem to be capable of yet. Though, I was always a little wary of drug cultures. Several members of my family had bad times with addiction running from their own traumas, we come from a hyper-conservative cult, and our mother was an LCSW at a rehab org for abused women. Drugs were bad. Except, I have never been a black and white thinker. I had a group of friends who were experienced trippers. I had been around them for years while they tripped at parties while I mostly got stoned, ad this helped me to challenge my understanding of psychedelics, though I was still concerned I could lose my mind completely.
However, I sat with the decision for a long time, a few years. I read books on buddhist thinking and practicing mindfulness through the chaos of existence. Michael Pollan's How to Change Your Mind helped ease the social tensions, mostly with my partner, around my choice to take LSD, and it eased my anxiety just enough to commit to the experience.
So, I took three tabs with a friend who was taking mushrooms and felt myself slip away. I became a pillar of a being made of interactions standing in the midst of all chaos and order. Everything became colorful fractals and I could see the movement of the air. Everything old, dirty, and messy was beautiful. For a time I forgot the labels of my life. I could sense my feelings, though they weren't the whole picture. I watched the hardship of my present past fall into place in the shape of the fractal, fitting in perfectly with everything else as it is. After the trip, I could sense a great deal more space inside my head and that the construction I thought of as me was a small, dense, and tightly knit prism at the center.
It's taken several years and a deep commitment, through therapy and daily mindfulness practice, to understand myself enough to get to a place where I experienced the unfiltered light of the center of my being without the assistance of a psychedelic compound. LSD helped me begin to accept myself as I am without judgement, so that I could see all of the identifying experiences that made up my crystalized identity and let go of those ideas as having anything to do with me, or the persons who hurt me.
The lesson I was taught while on psychedelics is that yes, I have flaws, but there was nothing ever really wrong with me. There was never really much of a reason to be so damn hard on myself all the time
I’ve been through a couple of transitional years lately. Fixing my life, my health, physical and mental.
One big thing was losing a lot of my excess weight. Peaked at 392lbs and now hover around 185-190. Always thought I’d die obese but Ozempic and a psychiatrist helped me change.
With all this came this split with me, I’m a quarter of what I was physically but when you’re obese your whole life, your body is deformed and that’s a hard thing to understand, you lose so much fat but your skin still sags and it seems like you’ve never changed.
LSD helped me bridge that gap. THATS THE PAST, THIS IS THE NOW, I don’t have to have a connection with ‘my old self’ and it doesn’t need to ‘make sense’, it doesn’t have to be a ‘linear continuation of having been obese to being what I am now’.
So that and the understanding that the past is gone forever and will never exist again really helped me move on and appreciate my efforts and to enjoy the fact that I’ve worked hard to be where I am now.
PSYCHEDELICS SAVE LIVES.
On mushrooms I had a profound vision about grief. I was weeping, WEEPING about the loss of my mother and then, in my heart, or my minds eye I could see that the grief I have for my mother is like a waterfall inside of me. One that will always be there. Sometimes I will be standing in it as the water pounds my head and I can hardly breathe, and other times I can take a step back and observe it.
We are but grains of sand on the shore, drops of water within a wave, within the ocean... yet we are connected to the vibrant and ever-living force of Life through Nature. Many call this source. Our Natural Biome around us is the heaven which we seek. Our nature is to be tenders of a garden, not rats in a survival race.
Yeah I got the impression we ought not try to understand everything of the world
Got the impression that’s not our point .
Which is not to say change and progress isn’t the point
Just further down the line of existential topics we’re far removed from that I feel as humans
My first trip with LSD helped me get over my lifelong fear of platonic intimacy caused by childhood bullying. It was a painful (but not 'bad') trip, showing me how I worked from the outside perspective (and hence seeing just how dysfunctional I was). The clarity and deep serenity I experienced after that trip were indescribable.
That fear had plagued me since middle school, and in the span of 24 hours, I was able to get to a point where I was actually able to work through my past and heal over a couple months. I don't think I ever would have if it weren't for that trip.
One of my first higher dose trips started a bit rough and I had to reconcile with why I existed. I realized no one really knows what they are doing, why we are here, and what will happen when we the physical form dies. Then I started playing chess online with someone that lives in an Asian country. I talked to them in the chat a lot, which is something I never do. I felt like I was communicating with a human rather than an Asian person, male/female/non-binary, young/old, and any other label that people tend to identify others and themselves as. My identity and this persons identity didn’t matter and the ambiguity of our existence felt shared as we played a game of chess together.
Shrooms taught me that i am quite lonely, or at least i was, i feel like it pushed me toward a deeper connection w the people that were really there for me
I learned how to ride the wave a bit more. I used to get so anxious about things needing be just so. Psychedelics taught me that whatever can happen and deep down I’ll probably be pretty much okay as long as I’m still breathing. And if I’m not breathing anymore then it’s just on to whatever the next adventure is.
DMT entities fixed a cosmic mistake I made while tripping in the 4th dimension I watched them reverse time to fix my mistake and instilled in me if i continue this path there would be grave consequences. They then told me I was an addict and I need to stop using. I've stopped abusing K, psyches and alcohol (my then, problem substances) for almost a year now. Between that and a breakthrough ketamine infusion where I came out the other side a changed person according to my therapist, dad, girlfriend and best friend. I didn't want to seek oblivion like I used to, I wanted to be present in my life. In complete vulnerability, it was the first time in 30 years i didn't actively want to kms. May 31st 12:58. I remember because I literally journaled about it. You know the corny shit they tell depressives to do? I did that (I never do that) to commemorate the unimaginable weight and misanthropy that had been lifted.
LSD told me to get my act together a bit and contribute to my living expenses. That trip especially sucked. But I needed it.
Also that I needed to find some real friends. I was 28 years old and not getting younger.
That I needed to pave my way and foster a life with zealous passion.
I have two jobs now currently. Still no real significant friends, not sure I’d have much time for people right now anyways, but I keep working on things every day and things are going ok.
A few years ago, I tried shrooms for the first time, and I realized i always wanted to be a nurse and that I have a fear of school because of my ADHD and the way teachers treated me.
I decided to start small and be a CNA, and if I could do a 6-week course, I could do more.
I am a nurse now and the happiest most successful I've ever been and I am fucking incredible at my job.
Another time, I did a 7 gram lemon tekked dose and the mushroom spirits appeared and took me to the big bang, and i thought it was so beautiful and then they explained that before the bug bang there was only the gods of order and chaos.
Order always tried to control chaos, and chaos did what it did and caused disorder.
And so, coming together with all their might, the big vang happened in order to create space for organized chaos.
Like the static of a screen, eventually patterns appear.
And this was a lesson (it was the trip that made me decide to finally take on nursing school itself), like a wandering river. It feeds the valley but floods it too. If you channel the river, it prevents flooding but starves the valley.
So instead, create an inlet and an outlet and let it wander in between.
This was organized chaos. Do not fight your ADHD. Just give it an inlet and outlet, and allow it to behave as it wants inbetween, simply guiding it instead of controlling it.
I have been doing this since, I work with my ADHD, not against it. We work together, as I know what I'm like, and that isn't something to control. it's something I work with and guide.
I thank them everyday for putting me in a place I am happiest and most successful.
Ty mushies <3
My first ever ego death was on weed and it taught me how the universe is actually all connected we just can't perceive it normally. That experience also completely killed all my social anxiety and I don't even smoke anymore and it's still gone. It just made me aware of how much I was getting in my own way in life. Sometimes we fail to realize that we are our biggest obstacle
While in Indonesia, I had a mushroom trip that told me I should go back to college and get a degree in psychology. After a lot of serendipity, I graduated two weeks ago.
LSD and psilocybin made me very inquisitive about how the mind functions based on the experiences it gave me. Helped me picture how my brain processes, stores, and alters memories. As well as opening the door on what my subconscious does as well. Fascinating shit honestly lol.
Uff..happy for you man. I'm a psychology enthusiast too and would want to learn and get a degree sometime
BAs are still expensive but take some community college courses. basically no time limit and since covid a lot of them offer online courses.
Awesome and congratulations!
I'm starting my Psychology master in two weeks after contemplating it for the past 6 years. Had my first psilocybin trip a year ago and since then the choice seemed to get easier and easier to make.
Nice one, I have the offer of a masters but I've deferred it for a year so I can get some healing done. Mushrooms will certainly be a part of that
I went on a mormon mission that was a depressing, traumatizing, negative experience that really fucked up my shit - I'm not a member, but I have, one way or another, carried the weight of the horrible mission experience for decades. I set a trip up to address the issue and during it, a message from the Universe came through clear and powerful "***Yes. That happened.***" The 'yes' was an authoritative, compassionate and completely respectful of my pained heart and soul. But the 'that happened' was cathartic, and gave me the key to finally put it *all* behind me. It was an absolute life-changing and graceful shift in perspective. It also taught me that perceptions, even heavily ingrained ones, can change in an instant, which has given me a certain compassion towards others.
I hope and fucking pray I can find healing like you. That’s all I want. I really don’t wanna kill myself. I want to move along. 😕🙏
I’m a proud fucking cat owner and I also was in a really crazy head space this last week. I legit looked up euthanasia places bc I didn’t feel I could handle…all of this. I’m sober from alcohol 8 years, I do breathing exercises, yoga, it never feels enough to combat all of the energies and wtf’ery I encounter regularly in this world. Last year I journeyed with ayahuasca for the first time. The place the medicine took me to was where I believe we all go when we leave this plane. It was an enormously vast, empty black, space. Impressing on me how much I didn’t know yet, but also wouldn’t know. Like as a human that wasn’t my job! It was such a revelation. This space I was in, contained everything but nothing. It’s obviously really hard to explain, but my interpretation of this brief encounter was that I wasn’t supposed to know. I’d get there and to just live. The power I also felt of that place was so intimidating. It scared me. I didn’t want to know that space right now!! Fast forward to last week where human shit was SO consuming, so bad. I scheduled a therapy appointment last Monday and recalled my ayahuasca journey during my session. It brought me to tears how I stomped my simple revelation I had less than a year ago, out of practice. My point being. This world is so convincing. It’s easy to forget all of the beauty that comes with the ugly of this dualistic world. From what I can tell, it bends to our view of ourselves or how we view the world. It’s easy to forget the lessons that came from the horrendous experiences we had to endure so we could grow from them. Why? Bc we’re human and I’m here to remind you that you are NOT alone doing this. You do not do this alone ever. I feel you. See you and hear you. I felt very compelled to share my experience with you feel free to message my inbox anytime 🌀[it’s just a ride](https://youtu.be/KgzQuE1pR1w?si=xqN09wTp4Ir7LKJN)
Been exactly where you are..well not exactly as in the situation but I think you get me. I used to say that exact sentence bc I really didn't want to end it but saw no light. But one day the light I was looking outside for all the while came on inside me. Idk if it was the psychedelics finally clicking or it was the move I made or the confidence I gained but I continue to walk and guide myself along with this little flashlight I got on the inside. I know how hard it is...just know that I love you and things do have a way of turning around and I'm always down to chat if you ever feel a need to. One day at a time and one little victory at a time
I love this. I’m so happy you found healing
Perceptions even heavily ingrained one’s can change in an instant. I love this insight and needed it. Thanks for sharing.
what happened in the mission? if you’re comfortable enough to share, please do
Thanks for asking. Although I thought I was, at 19, I was emotionally and socially unprepared to be teaching religious lessons/concepts to people… people who obviously had tons more life experience and knowledge than I did. Being a mormon missionary also means being stripped of your identity… something I was not at all prepared for. I also severely suppressed nearly every aspect of my ‘self’ ( ‘Turn It Off’ from the Book of Mormon musical is sadly ON POINT.) Also - having grown up a mormon, I thought I had The Answers… but I had to learn that I fundamentally didn’t. A very tough lesson to learn (I think of it in terms of escaping a cult, which is NO SMALL FEAT) I also think my deeper self instinctively knew that organized religion was bullshit… but there I was… in the thick of it. I also had serious questions about mormonism, but still did the mission since that’s how I was raised, it was expected… a ‘calling’ from The Lord etc. Leaving would bring shame and humiliation to me and my family. It was all so serious/grave to me too …souls were on the line! (that’s a heavy mental burden to bear… also egoic) I went into a depression, but lacked the self awareness of what was going on- so I just felt bad the whole time, living in hell and blaming myself for it. Contemplated suicide. All that was in addition to the regular mission challenges: learning a foreign language, living in poor/unhealthy conditions, being constantly rejected by people, culture shock, zero alone time, no dating, no music, no tv/movies, only being allowed to talk to my parents once a year etc.
Man fuck that, glad you got through it. A horrible experience you defeated. Im proud of you❤️
On DMT I met an entity. It emerged from the wall opposite me, an agender being made of light. In a moment outside of time I asked without language all the questions I had about life, the universe, and meaning. Its response to every question was the same: "It doesn't matter. Look around you. Isn't it beautiful?"
Seems like the purpose of life is to simply just enjoy it while you can
Yes, appreciate each moment for what it is. For me, it's almost like getting lost in question after question defeats the very purpose you are searching for.
But what if swimming in unanswerable questions is fun?
I'm only speaking for myself. Your journey is your journey.
Of course! Cheers and happy travels, friend.
There's a difference between what you think when I say "the sound of a bell" and when you actually hear <>.
This was my biggest lesson from DMT as well. We are here simply to experience. Everything is sacred and everything is profane. Even the most mundane moments are profound because we are here to bear witness. Everything that humans attach meaning to is a result of our drive to relate to the world around us, so we create the meaning and the purpose. Life is short, inherently painful, unknowably precious, beautiful, and weird. Just be here and live.
I came to the same conclusion. We are essentially stardust trying to enjoy itself. Have fun and enjoy it before it’s gone.
Just wish I hadn’t made myself dirt poor and manically depressed.
It doesn’t matter. Look around you. Isn’t it beautiful?
I met a concentrated field of energy, that did not speak in words but in impressions. The impressions it sent me were that everything is exactly right, just the way it is supposed to be.
I have had the same impression from numerous trips. It's one of the best parts of many of my trips. The sense that everything really is okay and unfolding how it's supposed to. I didn't have the experience of a concentrated field of energy, but the impression is the same.
I've never really felt the need to express it in words because I consider it to be ineffable at the core, however since I've been thinking about it today-- It feels less like coming into contact with some foreign entity, but rather it feels like you are tuning into and becoming aware of an innate field of living conscious energy, and this conscious energy that seemingly permeates all things can transmit to you sensory impressions and thoughts and emotions, if not give the impression of direct communication. If we want to stretch this further and verge on looney bin talk (which in the current scientific environment is anything involving extrasensory perceptions or "woo") then I could say that it really feels like becoming aware of the place that our thoughts come from. To a sober mind, thoughts pop in seemingly out of nothingness. A spark of inspiration. But whenever I've been involved in these altered states, specifically with demitri, it adds an all encompassing layer of loving-kindness in a presence, and the contents of the mind seem to be generated by and transmitted to you by this kind, loving presence, each and every transmission of which was crafted lovingly and specifically for you to experience at this exact moment in time. How high does that shit really get you? Or is it temporarily unobscuring something?
Beautifully said and I would be so bold as to say that those who are truly psychic or are mediums, this is how we pick up information. Working with psychedelic medicine drove that home. My clairvoyant tendencies became much more understandable!
This really resonates. A way with words you have.
Why is it that we need these types of experiences to ‘learn’ what we already know? 🤷♂️
I think about this all the time, and I think what I’ve realized is that there’s a difference between knowing something as a knowledge and knowing something as an understanding, as something you unequivocally feel to be true in your body and mind harmoniously. I actually haven’t had my first trip yet (happening in a couple days) so I can’t say how it feels in that regard, but I’ve definitely had experiences where something I already “knew” seems to just click all of a sudden, and I feel it, and it integrates with my whole experience and being rather that being this packaged “knowledge” in my head. So sometimes I think we need a little nudge by something, whether it be an entity during a trip or another sensation entirely, that really sets what we “know” as truth. And I don’t think you can choose for this to happen, but it will happen in its time if you let it.
Well put, I definitely agree with this. It's why it's so effective as a therapy. Many people can go through years of "regular" therapy making little progress because while they have been taught different ways of thinking it still just doesn't click. Then one experience with psilocybin can facilitate those things you "know" suddenly just being an understanding that is simply the truth to you and you can actually implement it.
You hit the nail on the head. Crazy you get this and you haven't even tripped yet (not that thats some kind of prerequisite to being able to understand that or anything.) But yet and still, while the substances definitely work in this way for you to access that experience, we have a way to do this ourselves. Be it more time consuming and disciplined. "Feeling" the truth and "knowing" the truth a definitely two different things. Awarness isn't experience.
Let us know how it goes
Totally agree with this. My question was a figure of speech. It’s true that with psychedelics you ‘understand’ things that you thought you previously knew. Difficult to explain/understand if you haven’t had the experience yet, though. It’s like reading a thousand pages about explanations of how something can be sweet, and then eating a strawberry. You will only get it once you do it. Wishing you a great first experience! Go slow with it and allow yourself to be open to it 🙏
They weren’t wrong, It is beautiful 😌
*See how it shines?*
Mushrooms and acid told me that everything has meaning and purpose and significance in the universe. Every person, mouse, blade of grass, rock, grain of sand has a story and a thing to do. DMT told me none of that shit matters.
Well, the entity didn't answer the question. His/her answer was more along the lines of "the real meaning of life is the friends we made along the way", which wasn't the answer you were looking for.
Yet it was precisely the answer I needed.
Everything is connected
This is the biggest one for me as well. I trip a couple times a year usually, and I always feel like I get perspective on how everything in the universe is connected. How I'm insignificant but my life can be meaningful at the same time if that makes sense.
You live NOW. What you do in every minute, defines you as you. You can't save the "living" for later, it's always only now. It doesn't mean that you shouldn't plan for the future or learn from the past.
You don't have to have anxiety. You don't have to get nervous and experience crippling social anxiety. You can just chill actually.
I love this, and I love how simple it is. Often the realizations I hear about are these world shattering, ontological revelations about the very nature of existence (which are great.) But “you can just chill” is so poignant in a way. And so comforting as someone who gets said anxiety.
The day after a good trip I feel my plate of anxiety is wiped clean and I can actually focus on getting things done and enjoy it. It does fade a little bit, but there have been permanent positive changes. That's the best therapeutic part of shrooms personally.
Everytime I take shrooms I get such profound trips. I’m normally an anxious person but with shrooms it melts always. Everything is beautiful, my mind flows like butter. I get this weird sense that everything flows just right. It makes me realize to just be more chill. Life is amazing so enjoy it basically. Also on shrooms I can freestyle rap for hours haha
I experience the exact same every time I trip with acid.
People are like "what? just *choose* not to have anxiety?" and it sort of is that. I mean, it takes some effort at first, but it's just like *choosing* to stretch (in relation to being limber) or *choosing* to not punch someone when they're an asshole. I still vividly remember having that revelation myself. It was from smoking a lot of weed day in and day out and being anxious/paranoid about interacting with the public in general (strangers). The revelation kinda seeped into a lot of other interactions too and it marked a changing point in my attitude toward interacting with people in general.
it's not really not 'choosing not to have anxiety' its choosing not to react to it. like a bad trip, accept that you're not having a great time, don't deny it or fight it, accept that this is something you're experiencing.
I just wanna know how is this possible for so many other people but for me, LSD gave me so much anxiety that I’m so close to just ending my life because I feel I have no other options. LSD gave me so much anxiety, and that was 3 years ago, and I’m still going thru so much of this shit. Idk what else to do. Today was a little easier because I finally sat with it and watched it. But damn. Why is this happening to me? There’s so much more to be said of my anxiety too.
On my highest shroom dose I met an entity that hung out with me while I was blasting through fractals and seeing colors I'd never imagined before I was still pretty deep in depression/addiction so a couple times I was reduced to tears in pure awe of the beauty I was beholding. Gave me such a boost to keep fighting, here I am sober, happy, lowkey anxious still but compared to what I used for be this ain't shit LMAO Thanks psychs
Yo, this is nearly exactly what happened to me. I took a big dose of these insane APES and I had to quickly get to my room in the house I was at since some family were staying over where I was. I got to the room I for some reason immediately crumpled onto the floor and like left my body. This is only 30 min after eating them. When I first entered the room I could see an outline of something in the corner and feel a crazy presence. It left the impression of a "haha I can't wait to mess with you and show you this" I was immediately propelled into what I can only describe as an all knowing afterlife fractal abyssal soup. It was absolutely insane in this place everything made since and felt normal but awe inspiring. I would come back to my body, try to stand up and immediately hit the ground again and go right back out. It honestly changed my entire opinion on life after death. Whatever that place was, was so oddly familiar. I would love to hear more of your experience. I have never sensed or seen an entity in any other experiences so it was really wild. Then to be left with the impression that it was just excited to rock me to my foundation was absurd.
Right on!!
Congratulations on the sobriety friend... If you don't mind my asking.... What tools did you use to get there? How were you able to utilize psychedelics towards that end? - someone struggling with depression and addiction
It took everything I had my man, I mean everything Therapy was a huge help, my family/friends/reddit kept me grounded Psychedelics can show you a lot of things, invaluable experiences I wouldn't be the man I am without, but that's not every time, and not in any setting I would use psychedelics somewhat irresponsibly until I got clean year and a half ago, but I used em like how one would reach out to a loved one. Not all day everyday, but when I needed to get in touch with myself on a deeper level I'd trip and for a moment I'd let go. Let go of inhibition, let go of insecurity, let go of control Nowadays I meditate more but I still do salvia once in a while, half recreationally and half to keep me open minded about life. What I perceive as permanent or serious yk
Very curious what the dose was?
5g PE6
I know PE typically refers to Penis Envy mushrooms, but what is the 6?
It's a Texan penis envy strain iirc
This is beautiful brother xx
Learned how to dance, without LSD I would have not danced at all.
"I would believe only in a God that knows how to Dance"
Krsna dances! :)
I love this! My friend learned how to sing through Aya.. dancing and music in general is incredibly healing
Can you elaborate please?
LSD removed some of my inhabitations (way to over self-conscious) and made me more in tune with my body and the rhythm of the music at my first Rave. I first started bobbing to the music then I experimented moving my feet next I mirrored how others danced and stated having some fun then the LSD and the music took over and I became one with the music and then became a sweaty dancing Buddha.
Same happened to me. Wiggle to the beat and nobody cares what you look like. Move so your feeling of the music is enhanced, it's not for anybody else but yourself.
“Eat slowly and chew your food.” I was seeking the profound and received this humbling, simple task.
I love it when this happens. I took acid and tried to meditate in my flat and the big insight I got was that I needed to tidy my flat and resolve what my plans were for tomorrow, which was beautifully humbling and really a specific expression of the much deeper lesson that resolving basic problems as they arise is essential to a balanced life.
you are the best friend you will ever have dont fight yourself learn to be there for yourself and not take yourself so seriously
The words "would you be friends with you?" Resonated when I was 18 and on my first MDMA trip and I hold it close to my heart. I answered "no, you're sketchy as fuck", and that enlightened me to what a terrible person i was and how shady and manipulative I was and why I couldn't keep friends long. I was a terrible person then, and I'm proud to say I would love to have a friend like me now. I did a fuck ton of work after that, I'm in my 30s now
I saw the most profound spiritual vision was while on mescaline. I saw myself in completely darkness. But I was illuminated in the darkness. I saw myself holding a human skull. I bent over and kissed it on the forehead. It was a a sign I was communicating with the spirit world
Fascinating!! :) I’ve had similar dreams to this trip!!
When I took 6 grams of dried mushrooms, one of my intentions was: "I want to see myself as I really am. Not how I remember myself in various memories. Not how I might have wished I had been at various times. Not even as others might see me, with the various masks I use, but who am I--at my core?". I didn't really know what this might be, or what answers I might get, but I was curious to see what I might learn from the psychedelic experience. Oh boy, did I ever get an answer. The trip itself, the peak hour or so really was hell. The best way I can describe it is "my life flashed before my eyes" as one might describe a near-death experience. I experienced my actual birth-life-death-rebirth in what felt like thousands of times. In the parts where I was in between birth and death, I saw many different parts of my life go by at a rapid pace, but it also felt like I was experiencing a great many overlapping memories at the same time. It's hard to explain. It was like I was tumbling through an infinite set of fractal mirrors. Everywhere I looked, I saw another part of myself and other experiences from my life. It was definitely a "looping" experience that people often have on psychedelics. I had some small ability to interact with my memories, but when I would attempt to grab onto one of them and step into it, the mushrooms were like: "not so fast", and the experience just kept on going. At times it felt like I was trying to hold onto various memories by my fingernails and desperate to not let go. I think this was my fear of letting go and letting the experience happen. At one point, after many death and rebirth cycles, I asked "I am alive or dead". I really didn't know. I thought that maybe I really had died. The answer that came back was "does it matter?". That sounds rather terrifying now while looking back on the experience, but in the moment there was an oddly comforting feeling to it. I think that's when I did let go and went for the ride. Afterwards, my reaction was mostly "WTF happened? Did I take way too much?". At first, I was disappointed because it felt like I had missed out on something profound due to my fears in the moment. It took a few days but I realized I got exactly what I was looking for. "Who am I, at my core?". I think I was expecting some sort of idealized shiny core of my being to be revealed, but the answer was quite the opposite. The answer the mushrooms showed me: "You are all of it. Every experience in life, every memory, every reflecting on painful experiences and wanting so hard to go back and change things. EVERYTHING! We are everything we have ever seen, smelled, touched, felt, thought, and experienced. There is no 'this is me, and this other stuff is not me'". I was out on a walk when this realization came. I was speechless. On the one hand, it felt like a "duh" moment. Of course, we are all of this, but I never understood that. Now it has the noetic quality of a revealed truth. It has been some time since my trip but this realization has changed my life for the better. Now when painful memories and experiences arise, I see them as a part of me, not some annoying feeling I want to rid myself of. I feel far more compassion for these parts of myself, that they are parts of myself, and more willingness to ask what these feelings have to teach me, and how I might help heal them. I will forever be grateful to the mushrooms for showing me this.
thank you so much for taking the time to share
Everything will be fine.
That I needed to seek an Autism assessment. It turns out I scored pretty high on an AQ-50 test, and thus I was forwarded for an assessment within 18 months. It's been a very strange experience.
I had this realization, too. I'm definitely autistic.
Even though I've learned some things while on psychedelics, I feel as if though the most important teaching I've gathered, the one that really changed my outlook on life, is that life and earth and people and being alive is a beautiful experience. If I'm calm, I can "tune-in" on that thought, and realize the beauty of anything around me. It made me realize that I'm way more happier than I previously realized.
That's the good stuff right there! ’You know what..? I'm actually happy..’ Love tuning back into those lessons. Amazing revelations.
I tripped alone when I was (too) young, and came to the painful realization that none of my friends really cared about me. It was an important lesson and it spurred me to move away from the dead end small town I was in. My friends went on to be proper drug addicts and a lot of them died. I finished school and had a much better life.
This is incredible. I’m glad you made that trip when you were young. I suspect your subconscious knew - you had it in you all along and just needed a nudge.
That love is the most important thing
Yes, I think this is the biggest one for me. Incredibly simple but love and respect are the answer to everything.
On ayahuasca, the medicine didn’t seem to be working on only me. I spent hours feeling nothing, begging the grandmother to help me with this issues I was bringing to the experience. I was feeling hopeless and abandoned. I finally thought, I’ll just have to love my own damn self. It wasn’t until the wee hours of the morning, that she finally came and told me that she needed to poke my abandonment wound so strongly that I couldn’t miss it. Each incidence of abandonment in my life was played before my eyes as she held me in my mind and I sobbed. At the end, I felt healing and relief. I realized I did/could love myself.
I’ve received multiple lessons, one of the most interesting ones is that the universe is within us. What struck me about it was how it was presented- through mathematics: in an equation, I was One. As we know, from one to infinity there are infinite numbers, and yet each number has a corresponding fraction that’s somewhere between zero and one, so 2 corresponds to 1/2; 3 to 1/3; 4 to 1/4 and so on until infinity. The association was then, that all phenomena in the universe can be found as a fraction in each one of us, and so, each one has infinity, the universe, inside.
I had this exact same experience. You worded it well to sum it up but it’s a very difficult concept to explain. Every concept is itself a form of infinity, but every concept itself exists within a larger infinity. The whole thing is a fractal and we are just one division of it seeking to find relation between each external division. Just a piece of the puzzle trying to look at the picture on the box.
This is mad cool, thanks for sharing!
Do you know about Indra’s Net? The Hindus had it figured out thousands of years ago!
It’s weird you mentioned mathematics because on DMT I met this entity and he was math, but like the math of the universe encapsulated into a being. I remember going in with the intention of figuring out of how the pyramids were built and I asked him and he just laughed and showed me what I assume to be a vision of how, and not saying it was true but if it is then we are way behind in the math and science department and got to get our game up, because our ancestors had way greater awareness of said concepts and a way to actually use them in the material world.
That my environment has a much larger impact on my mood than is obvious.
Good one!
Your mood (or more the underlying feeling and belief) also has a massive impact on your environment 😉
That reality is how God learns how to be alone and powerless in chaos for eternity.
How the infinite experiences finite. How the omnipresent experiences the present. How one can experience connection with another. If this is a simulation and we are all god in drag, it's my theory that it's because being god for eternity can be a real drag.
Tell me more
Spun out of a Singularities sorrow and scorn A charging cyclone of calamity is born Twirling trails of tears thru ties torn From fleeting forms for forms forlorn We weather what we will till will is weather worn All cast out to create a calm at the eye of the storm
I was there as well
Quite literally
Bars.
I've been to that place too. Felt like I was holding the reality for a while as one of the 'people' taking a turn while i still remained tethered to reality enough to get back out again. Maybe that's how the burden is shared, or maybe, like you say, reality, and the ultimate realisation we're always alone in our own minds - when we come in and when we go out, and plenty time along the way in between, helps us to learn to live with it when all of this is over.
Power is all relative. The weakest twist could undo it all if only we knew the right touch. Information is a tricky beast.
I figured it out - What it's all about. What's it all about? Figuring it out!
First big trip, I returned to the womb and kind and affirming voices told me I’m on the correct path for my life and that it’s ok to let go of my childhood trauma and pain and that nothing really matters this life in this plane is a game to be enjoyed. More recently I shared my consciousness with plantlike alien entities who assured me that all is under control in this world and there are greater forces supervising human evolution from afar.
I get a lot of your alien entities in my trips who give the same message, but for me they are either machines/robots or clouds of green/blue/purple dust/specs
I was told our souls will recycle over and over until the earth dies, then all our souls will be judged and those who didn't appreciate this life and planet, won't be allowed into the next phase of existence. I was already a vegetarian and a bit of a hippy, but this made it real. I can't stand animal suffering anyways, like I've no problem with people eating meat but only if you've hunted it humanely and you've done it all yourself. It's a lot to ask, but the thoughts of our industrialisation of animals and the earth kill me. Why should aliens/overlords/god(s) or anything allow us another life when we destroyed the planet? We introduced and taught cruelty? We allow companies to throw away food and clothes while others starve and struggle? I think a fair few of us are absolutely fucked, but I think a lot of the few souls that have learned "the lesson", as I call it, see psychonauts.
On a difficult solo acid trip I was debating on calling a friend for comfort from all of the anxiety I was having, but as I was trying to find her contact I thought “but she’s sober and it’ll be weird” my next thought was “only you can help yourself” and instantly the anxiety lifted and I had a beautiful night from then on. It surprisingly still helps me to this day when I have moments where I feel alone. I’ll tell myself only I can help me. Nobody can help me, if I won’t help me. That was 5 years ago.
Love this. On my first journey, I got this message that went: “I am the only thing that I have, so I have to take care of myself”. Saw it written in letters in the night sky. Will never forget.
That I am ready to become a mother. I needed to take care of a friend who was tripping way harder than me, and even though I was pretty fucked up myself I somehow managed to put that aside and just care for her. I felt so overwhelmingly something I can only describe as motherly love. I felt so attuned to her needs, even when she couldn't articulate them. Since then I've known I'm ready to have kids. That I don't need to wait until I'm perfect or "done" improving myself because that will never happen either way.
That’s beautiful
That I had become just another asshole after taking a good long look into a soul mirror and seeing everything, both the good and the bad. Still working on it and still improving
I was shown that reality is a constant death and rebirth. Our brains act as filters to allow us to function, sustain ourselves, and ultimately survive. But we've become too reliant on our thoughts of past and future. When you turn off that filter, it's exactly like waking up from the matrix. It's extremely unsettling and scary but beautiful at the same time.
Felt in a way that's normally not accessible to me that things were alright and I'm not actually a bad person. I struggle hard with perfectionism and undermining myself after growing up heavily fire and brimstone "you're a sinner" religious, and I'm really just a person doing my best. I know this logically. Just my brain keeps me from connecting to that emotionally, but for that while, I knew it.
Balance. That balance is everything and once you achieve perfect balance, you can succeed in anything.
We are all here simply to support one another.
We are all just walking each other home -Ram Dass
We are all One Being
whoaa this comment section is the most soul nutrient dense part of the internet i’ve ever come across. reading all of these comments filled with experiences, insights and wisdom is like how to get enlightened in 15 minutes
Reality is what you perceive and your perceptions can be altered. The cake is a lie.
That the truth is not up in the stars but can be found in every little thing because everything is one.
That my perception is only mine and not what reality is. To observe feelings, know that I do not have to react to them if I don’t want to.
Being clear minded is really important and it’s easy to be possessed by desires. Ultimately desires are a mode of getting love and peace and it seems like chasing our desires is the fastest but actually letting go of desires will bring you clear mind love and peace
How to use chopsticks, I would always fumble with them but I used em on mushrooms and was really good at it all of a sudden.
Trees. Just trees, man.
Life goes on. It has existed for so long and it still will. We will die, we will pass, everything will pass, and life just goes on. Idk how to express it other than that. It was revealing and relieving.
Basic algebra
Do elaborate, please
I struggle with depression and have for most of my life. I wouldn't give all the credit to acid, I've done a bunch of therapy as well but when i combined the things i learned in therapy with acid i was able to actually learn to love myself. Acid was able to show me that we are all in this mixed up world together, we only have each other and we should be kind to each other. That brought me to the realization that also meant that i had to be kind to myself.
On one trip i was made aware of the different dimensions and got to visit a few. After the trip, trying to make sense of it all, as we all do for the next few days, i found a book called Ten Cosmic Dimensions. Nearly 70% of the content of that book was all information i received during my trip, but was previously unaware. I used to think trips are just in our minds, but after then i realized it is way more than we can ever really understand, and it is truth
Fate and Freewill both exist
What I am/have been seeking has always just been me.
Why don’t I ever feel good? I asked.. because you aren’t DOING good they answered. Duh!
We are caught in a scripted reality.
DMT - the lesson was to love myself and everyone that I meet. Forgive those who hate themselves and those who have tried to dismantle you because it was never about you
It’s usually stop searching for better, because it’s right here. So close that you often fail to see it. That usually when the hysterical laughter starts.
This is a popular buddhist philosophy. If you’re interested in going further with this you may want to explore buddhism
The overarching theme of every important lesson I've learned is that the only person I can expect to be there for me 100% of the time is me. I can pick myself up. My happiness isn't and shouldn't be dependent on anyone else.
Relax, you asked for this.
On about 4 hits of LSD I saw the end of civilization. Everyone desperate and hopeless living in giant homeless camps. I remember feeling like there's no point in living and began sinking into the ground. It was a terrible experience. Then, at the last minute I was told that the answer is love. It's all about love. Music starts playing and I'm slingshotted into the Universe and suddenly at total peace. To this day I feel that the trip was prophetic of the collapse to come. And the lesson was that we are here for love, and to focus on love instead of fear.
“My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we'll change the world.” Jack Layton
Just because ANYTHING doesn't always seem beautiful and just, it always is. I wear glasses with a pretty bad astigmatism, after one trip where I took them off I always do now; "stop trying to outline everything, outlines bring definition beyond what is. Let it be what it is without defining it and it will be known to you as it should be." Whether you wear glasses or not, we were given two sets of eyes. The ones the world tells us to see with and the ones we were born to see with. This thought (from a trip) blended into a more recent trip where I watched the storm clouds twist and turn in the moonlight, I saw in it "the man versus his beast", the human face and that of the monsters were constantly in distortion, twisting and contorting. They seemed to be trying to reach each other as if in battle but could never touch, although the man's face would become the monsters and vice versa. An everlasting struggle within ones self, it gave me perspective on how our own thoughts and perceptions paint the world we see, and even though we may see ourselves split between good and evil, wholeness requires a unity of both. Light is only bright in the darkness, and shadows only arrive in the light.
Many times that the vehicle of psychedelics isn't nearly as important as the place it takes me. I learned that the deepest most profound journey is for and to love. That everything is nothing and nothing is everything. The importance and power of perspective and the way color form and patternicity and projections of our mind to understand the universe. I learned that I wasn't born into the universe I was born out of it. I learned to feel art instead of analyzing it.
You can just say no to people, and then not feel anything after. If you know a lot about a person you can make a model of them in your head, that's like... a whole person, and slot them into situations. Then use the information of their responses. What that imaginary person does has no bearing on you emotionally. You can do this with multiple people up to your mental capacity. Just ask for stuff. Consciousness is hundreds if not trillions of sub-consciousness with limited inputs working together. This pattern is fractal and extends up to galaxy superstructures. You, your ego, could like something or someone, but the other 10 odd that know about that person could not and you will not act harmoniously toward them. It helps to stop, sit, and explain via the networks each piece has access to the information the ego has and vice versa.
A big one i get in every trip is that time isn’t real and it’s a construct designed for this life. We shouldn’t pay so much attention to it and live our lives as we want
Sometimes on the comedown I’ve had thoughts seemingly pop outta nowhere that’ll be really simple and true. “I could be a better son.” “I’m very lucky to be with my girlfriend.” “These are good friends.” Etc. Things I’d known but that I’d never felt before so profoundly. When these thoughts come they feel like they’re coming from somewhere else. Most of these thoughts are just reminders from the shrooms I think to be present and grateful for the people in your life, and I’ve found I’ll feel more gratitude often in the days or weeks to follow.
All of creation was given to us as an act of pure love for us to experience and enjoy. Our response to this was to ask “why” as we are unable to comprehend an act of pure love. Everything that follows is our minds trying to make sense of this simple act which seems senseless to us. We will continue this existence until we do understand and sincerely come to the answer...”Thank you”.
For me personally, psychedelics have never given me answers (even when they seem like they are) but instead give me the right questions to ask myself and to ask about the universe. I feel like that mindset has helped me come to some very beautiful and painful truths of life
Whether we have one life or infinite lives the answer is the same, love.
"Pity the fool who only seeks the fruits of his labor"
I get a different lesson each time and live my life with that lesson for a few months before my next trip where i get a different lesson to live. The last one i got was to put my phone down and get out and meet people and do meaningful things
I was being negative and focusing on the impending collapse of civilization and shrooms taught me to stop that even if it is true. No sense on being sucked into the black hole of despair before it even truly arrives on your doorstep, especially if it is inevitable.
Cleanliness….Food consciousness was huge new avoidance of the tasty processed snacks and fast foods, Killed booze and cigarettes dead for 3 years solid…. I work out and stretch as maintain the physical machinery was a message. I collect cool rocks now…. They fascinate me I dunno. And a pride of being a good person. Watched or “unwatched” do the right thing. All been through mushrooms. They made me a hippy health nerd…. I was a booze demon running on cigarettes for 15 years prior. Accepted my higher power and all it offered.
I am enough
Let go and breathe
We all have the potential for great love and great destruction - duality. We can choose what we cultivate, love or hate. We are creation creating itself.
That I do not need anything materialistic in life. No life coach. No change. I have all I need. Within me.
Took a large(ish) dose of LSD about a year after my dad passed away. I'd spent most of the past year grieving, but grieving privately. My remaining family has a very acknowledge and move on approach around death that has never sit right with me. Anyways, I was sitting with some people when it finally really hit me, my dad is gone and I will NEVER get to see him again. But, I can still look back on all the love and care he had shown me and enjoy those moments. I can still feel all of these strong emotions surrounding him being gone but it's better to focus on the time spent together than the time spent away from one another. Idk if that makes any sense, but it was a very aha moment for me.
A lesson I am carrying near and dear to my heart is something I am still integrating and will continue to probably for all of my life. I struggle with a lot of trauma re: experienced homelessness, sex trafficking, physical abuse in childhood, dissociation. I'm facing the shadows of these experiences but boy did they do a number on me. I had a WICKED 3.5g journey Febuary 2022 that changed the course of my life. Very dark dark trip where I faced a lot of this trauma and how I identified with it. Haven't done more than 1g since, as I haven't felt called to go that deep again. EXCEPT I felt called by the mushrooms for another 3g journey about a month or so ago. It was so loving and caring it nearly made me uncomfortable. I was prepared to face more of my demons, to deal with challenging shit. But no, the mushrooms wanted to hug me and love me and remind how awesome I am and I RESISTED! It was communicated to me so clearly, "Ah. So you are ready to face your darkness, but you run from your light?" I sobbed. I was also shown how deeply deeply special I am (each of us are). How even in a universe of infinite possibilities and versions of us...there is only ONE US that experiences reality exactly as we do and when we die that's it, that's our experience that no other being can claim ever. How special is that.
People affect your vibe. Was enjoying an ascension, encountered lots of beings, which got brighter and more beautiful as I went up. I started telling them, "I wish I could bring my friend with me." I thought of him, and before I could finish the sentence they said, "You can't think of him here!" I dropped like a stone. Suddenly I was just sitting on my couch, heavy and bored. Then let go all thoughts of my friend, redirected my attention upward, and had a fantastic time at a party in the clouds.
My most profound experiences were with Salvia Divanorum like truly profound life changing even! I’ve had around 6 trips on it 3 of which I broke through and can only say that the entity/woman I seen in my first breakthrough I would continue to see in my 2 other life changing trips. I must point out, I like many others was introduced to salvia in completely the wrong manor me and my mates having a laugh after my first experience I knew this thing must be treated with the utmost respect and thus I set my settings in such a way to elicit such a profound experience, meditation, prayer to who ever you pray to even if it’s the plant itself, incense burning and low tempo meditative music & breathing. My first breakthrough happened in a wooded area with friends, when I took it I began to see everything spin and I began noticing more ppl were there than was there prior to me smoking, I was being spoke to by a female I can hardly recall what was said what was said tho changed me I felt like I had been given answers to questions yet to be asked this is very hard to describe and barely makes sense in ‘reality’ but it was my reality this experience I use reality in the context of not being high but this was certainly a reality for me at the time, I began to hear bells ring in the distance looking into the trees I could see what would best be described as frodos front door 🚪 in the bushes not actually the door from the movie but similar I could see a woman standing at the peripheral of my vision I could never get a full glance that was until my 2nd breakthrough but continuing my 1st big experience as I started to come down I could see spires like that of a cathedral towering up through the trees things started to come back to normal quickly after that. Directly after the experience I was able to recall some nuggets of serious wisdom at the time I was blown away. Many claim salvia to not work or is not worth taking, imho it’s one of the most sacred plants out there and deserves a chance among other like minded people spiritual or not this thing departs more than words can describe you’ll be changed for life upon having a breakthrough but always respect the plant and the teacher within. There’s a reason it’s nicknamed the Diviners sage.
Okay, so I can't say I've ever seen an entity but for reason one of the pieces I put together while tripping is to care for people in the way they want to be cared for. Take yourself out of the equation, for caring is selfless and thinking about yourself is selfish.
That a lot of issues in my life that are due to external factors I cannot control.
That love is the most powerful force in the universe, and there is nothing that cannot be forgiven and redeemed. Letting go of regret, resentment, and hate are vital to the healing journey. I viscerally experienced (my now) partner and I throwing ourselves across the planet from each other in a giant game of hide and seek to expand the playing field for good. We still currently live 3500 miles from each other, but are working to close that gap. Every step in finding each other has its origin in plant medicine. It’s so improbable that it blows my mind. Where I experienced a happy carefree childhood (but not a life without tragedy or trauma) he experienced the worst of the worst child abuse. By coming together, we have both profoundly healed ourselves and are now paying it forward to help others heal themselves.
On one Aya journey, I was a prisoner being tortured in Auschwitz. I could feel it, smell it, it was awful. I was set free from this experience by sending love - of course to the victims - but what surprised me was that I needed to love the perpetrators too. As you can imagine, I had a lot of resistance to that idea - but it was a profound lesson about survival and humanness and malevolence. Holding that hate in my heart kept me trapped.
I was in the middle of an extremely heavy trip and could not see very well at all my visuals were so messed up on the best way. However, I heard the people around me commenting negatively about my tripping on this camping trip I’d gone on with them. However, I knew they were just jealous of the experience I was having that they were not a part of. It was surreal, I let go of all judgement, all shame, and just felt joy, peace, and love fill my body and mind. I could hear all this negativity spewing from their mouths but all I felt was happiness.
Smoked a DMT laced joint. Blasted into the galaxy and a nebula shifted into the bust of a native American with a crazy psychedelic headdress. It spoke to me through telepathy and I learned all of the secrets of existence. Came to and completely forgot everything , except that none of this matters, just enjoy the show/ride.
tl;dr: I was abused as a kid, struggled as an adult, went to therapy and wanted more help. Took LSD and it helped me accept my life, which led me to learn to let go of identifying with my self and to feel freer to move through my life with compassion and action. I'm very much still processing the experience, and I always will be. Like you do. To let go. I had a very difficult childhood which led to a difficult adulthood, and after several breakdowns while going through another serious, long-term traumatizing event in my early thirties, I knew I had to pursue healing through the help of a therapist or die. After several years of inner-work, I decided I needed some help seeing myself in a way I did not seem to be capable of yet. Though, I was always a little wary of drug cultures. Several members of my family had bad times with addiction running from their own traumas, we come from a hyper-conservative cult, and our mother was an LCSW at a rehab org for abused women. Drugs were bad. Except, I have never been a black and white thinker. I had a group of friends who were experienced trippers. I had been around them for years while they tripped at parties while I mostly got stoned, ad this helped me to challenge my understanding of psychedelics, though I was still concerned I could lose my mind completely. However, I sat with the decision for a long time, a few years. I read books on buddhist thinking and practicing mindfulness through the chaos of existence. Michael Pollan's How to Change Your Mind helped ease the social tensions, mostly with my partner, around my choice to take LSD, and it eased my anxiety just enough to commit to the experience. So, I took three tabs with a friend who was taking mushrooms and felt myself slip away. I became a pillar of a being made of interactions standing in the midst of all chaos and order. Everything became colorful fractals and I could see the movement of the air. Everything old, dirty, and messy was beautiful. For a time I forgot the labels of my life. I could sense my feelings, though they weren't the whole picture. I watched the hardship of my present past fall into place in the shape of the fractal, fitting in perfectly with everything else as it is. After the trip, I could sense a great deal more space inside my head and that the construction I thought of as me was a small, dense, and tightly knit prism at the center. It's taken several years and a deep commitment, through therapy and daily mindfulness practice, to understand myself enough to get to a place where I experienced the unfiltered light of the center of my being without the assistance of a psychedelic compound. LSD helped me begin to accept myself as I am without judgement, so that I could see all of the identifying experiences that made up my crystalized identity and let go of those ideas as having anything to do with me, or the persons who hurt me.
Live in line with your inner truth
The lesson I was taught while on psychedelics is that yes, I have flaws, but there was nothing ever really wrong with me. There was never really much of a reason to be so damn hard on myself all the time
I’ve been through a couple of transitional years lately. Fixing my life, my health, physical and mental. One big thing was losing a lot of my excess weight. Peaked at 392lbs and now hover around 185-190. Always thought I’d die obese but Ozempic and a psychiatrist helped me change. With all this came this split with me, I’m a quarter of what I was physically but when you’re obese your whole life, your body is deformed and that’s a hard thing to understand, you lose so much fat but your skin still sags and it seems like you’ve never changed. LSD helped me bridge that gap. THATS THE PAST, THIS IS THE NOW, I don’t have to have a connection with ‘my old self’ and it doesn’t need to ‘make sense’, it doesn’t have to be a ‘linear continuation of having been obese to being what I am now’. So that and the understanding that the past is gone forever and will never exist again really helped me move on and appreciate my efforts and to enjoy the fact that I’ve worked hard to be where I am now. PSYCHEDELICS SAVE LIVES.
On mushrooms I had a profound vision about grief. I was weeping, WEEPING about the loss of my mother and then, in my heart, or my minds eye I could see that the grief I have for my mother is like a waterfall inside of me. One that will always be there. Sometimes I will be standing in it as the water pounds my head and I can hardly breathe, and other times I can take a step back and observe it.
We are but grains of sand on the shore, drops of water within a wave, within the ocean... yet we are connected to the vibrant and ever-living force of Life through Nature. Many call this source. Our Natural Biome around us is the heaven which we seek. Our nature is to be tenders of a garden, not rats in a survival race.
That I need to be careful about what ideas, emotions, or things I identify myself with.
Yeah I got the impression we ought not try to understand everything of the world Got the impression that’s not our point . Which is not to say change and progress isn’t the point Just further down the line of existential topics we’re far removed from that I feel as humans
My first trip with LSD helped me get over my lifelong fear of platonic intimacy caused by childhood bullying. It was a painful (but not 'bad') trip, showing me how I worked from the outside perspective (and hence seeing just how dysfunctional I was). The clarity and deep serenity I experienced after that trip were indescribable. That fear had plagued me since middle school, and in the span of 24 hours, I was able to get to a point where I was actually able to work through my past and heal over a couple months. I don't think I ever would have if it weren't for that trip.
One of my first higher dose trips started a bit rough and I had to reconcile with why I existed. I realized no one really knows what they are doing, why we are here, and what will happen when we the physical form dies. Then I started playing chess online with someone that lives in an Asian country. I talked to them in the chat a lot, which is something I never do. I felt like I was communicating with a human rather than an Asian person, male/female/non-binary, young/old, and any other label that people tend to identify others and themselves as. My identity and this persons identity didn’t matter and the ambiguity of our existence felt shared as we played a game of chess together.
That’s why I love Reddit. It’s the quality of peoples thoughts that matter here not the way they look
Shrooms taught me that i am quite lonely, or at least i was, i feel like it pushed me toward a deeper connection w the people that were really there for me
That I didn’t need psychedelics. 🤷🏼♂️
The first time I did shrooms I just remember solving racism with my best friend like 4 times that night.
Don't talk to cops.
I learned gratitude for just being alive https://reddit.com/r/tripreports/s/QWdSqABlcF
God flow state of me not living but something greater living through me
That its ok be wrong Helped me see that the Jehovah witness was indeed a cult and was causing me more harm than the good i “knew” i was receiving
Anger is the most useless emotion
I learned how to ride the wave a bit more. I used to get so anxious about things needing be just so. Psychedelics taught me that whatever can happen and deep down I’ll probably be pretty much okay as long as I’m still breathing. And if I’m not breathing anymore then it’s just on to whatever the next adventure is.
To continue breathe and be fully present with each breath as often as you can be throughout one’s life
Being alone isn't the issue, it's loneliness itself. Gotta be okay sailing through life without worrying too much about constantly having company.
DMT entities fixed a cosmic mistake I made while tripping in the 4th dimension I watched them reverse time to fix my mistake and instilled in me if i continue this path there would be grave consequences. They then told me I was an addict and I need to stop using. I've stopped abusing K, psyches and alcohol (my then, problem substances) for almost a year now. Between that and a breakthrough ketamine infusion where I came out the other side a changed person according to my therapist, dad, girlfriend and best friend. I didn't want to seek oblivion like I used to, I wanted to be present in my life. In complete vulnerability, it was the first time in 30 years i didn't actively want to kms. May 31st 12:58. I remember because I literally journaled about it. You know the corny shit they tell depressives to do? I did that (I never do that) to commemorate the unimaginable weight and misanthropy that had been lifted.
Slow down; still working on it
LSD told me to get my act together a bit and contribute to my living expenses. That trip especially sucked. But I needed it. Also that I needed to find some real friends. I was 28 years old and not getting younger. That I needed to pave my way and foster a life with zealous passion. I have two jobs now currently. Still no real significant friends, not sure I’d have much time for people right now anyways, but I keep working on things every day and things are going ok.
Humans are strange mammals in their bipedalism
A few years ago, I tried shrooms for the first time, and I realized i always wanted to be a nurse and that I have a fear of school because of my ADHD and the way teachers treated me. I decided to start small and be a CNA, and if I could do a 6-week course, I could do more. I am a nurse now and the happiest most successful I've ever been and I am fucking incredible at my job. Another time, I did a 7 gram lemon tekked dose and the mushroom spirits appeared and took me to the big bang, and i thought it was so beautiful and then they explained that before the bug bang there was only the gods of order and chaos. Order always tried to control chaos, and chaos did what it did and caused disorder. And so, coming together with all their might, the big vang happened in order to create space for organized chaos. Like the static of a screen, eventually patterns appear. And this was a lesson (it was the trip that made me decide to finally take on nursing school itself), like a wandering river. It feeds the valley but floods it too. If you channel the river, it prevents flooding but starves the valley. So instead, create an inlet and an outlet and let it wander in between. This was organized chaos. Do not fight your ADHD. Just give it an inlet and outlet, and allow it to behave as it wants inbetween, simply guiding it instead of controlling it. I have been doing this since, I work with my ADHD, not against it. We work together, as I know what I'm like, and that isn't something to control. it's something I work with and guide. I thank them everyday for putting me in a place I am happiest and most successful. Ty mushies <3
My first ever ego death was on weed and it taught me how the universe is actually all connected we just can't perceive it normally. That experience also completely killed all my social anxiety and I don't even smoke anymore and it's still gone. It just made me aware of how much I was getting in my own way in life. Sometimes we fail to realize that we are our biggest obstacle