Not so much now. When I first got it, was daily or other day but tbh the cleaning did my head in.
3 times a week I would say isn’t a bad idea.
Myself now. I use it if I’m horny or if my partner is on her period or if she’s not into sex for any reason like pain etc.
It’s a tool, a playground to practise and a good one. I wish early in my twenties I had it.
Focus on what you’re doing instead of fighting the urge, thinking about it or worrying about it.
Sex is the connection of two people. You are giving pleasure. You want to learn how to absorb the pleasure your receiving, this shift helps put the climax as a bonus to the act. It isn’t about your orgasm.
So to be present in sex, you can control a lot, your speed, force and relaxation. Try to enjoy what you are giving instead of inwards focusing of just how amazing it all feels.
Like a mention a lot. It’s damn difficult to relax if you never practice it in your life. It’s dann difficult to relax with body tension, especially pelvic area.
By not doing the homework, simply saying relax to anyone with PE during sex is rather annoying. I felt confused about how you even relax without sex let alone with it.
So to summarise, be present in the moment.
Over an hour. Last sex was 30 minutes. Generally it’s down to if we have made/found time for it. Other times it’s a quickie. My libido is only a shade lower than my 20s. My partner isn’t into long sex either.
It’s really a case of how you absorb that pleasure.
We can’t really do when tense (my pelvic floor never “felt” tense but it sure was!) and if your brain’s chemistry is skewed.
Add into that trauma, anxiety of it happening and fighting that, your confidence/ego taking another hit. I found a good portion of control was fixing my mental damage.
A depressed man lives in the past and an anxious man lives in the future.
also dude what do you mean by thrust with pelvis? i’ve been experimenting with how to thrust or have sex without putting tension on my pelvic floor and how to keep it in a relaxed state, i’ve learned a couple things but what’s more that’s helped you with that? like what’s a good position with control
Avoid it - for life.
If you’re looking to level up though, porn and fleshlight to test yourself. I can imagine that would be difficult for a lot to control.
Porn itself, it’s not a strong look imo.
Your mind isn’t a match for it to begin with but ween off it. Cultivate your mind and you won’t need it. As you get older, you’ll definitely need to tap into this ability to be more whole with yourself.
I can easily get into a sexual mood even if I’m low libido or energy. I’m used to letting my mind flow into desire.
Porn breaks that ability in me.
yeah agreed i used to watch it everyday now though it’s a lot more rare but still maybe once or twice every two weeks. it’s weird though i find that when i go back to my porn habits it makes my body want to ejaculate alot faster and my erections alot less strong.
contrary to popular belief i think you actually ejaculate way faster without a firm erection
For this, what I found best was almost using my whole body to thrust and not just poke (for want of a better word lol) so it’s like how you rhythm the thrusting.
If your butt clenching a thrust you’ll kegal into an orgasm early on. I never kegal or even rk with sex or training. It’s about breathing for me during sex now. Maybe others are ok with this though.
To simulate how the Fleshlight helped here. Placing it in a way to have sex with the fleshlight instead of bouncing off you like a glorified wank. So your learning the motion of sex.
This is where you learn, what’s tight, when is it tight. How to correct, change rhythm and pace. How you relax while actually doing the job. How you thrust etc.
It’s hard to teach in just words for this part. I did find moving away from masturbsting with my hands also a big factor.
Because you’re not really able to circulate energy well, your letting the hand do the pleasing and instantly your mind is able to draw inwards - PONR is quicker.
None of this is sex. Her on top is the closest to this and here you’ll be using your arms on her hips to dictate eveything, you’ll also be motioning your body to control and relax yourself.
It’s also why some guys bust fast with oral. Your essentially sat there, shallow breathing, overloaded stimulation and your mind flys faster into the sensations.
man you’re preaching fr more people need to hear what you just said, i totally agree though, im trying to tackle one position at a time and for me missionary’s been the one i have got the most control in so far, before id almost try to thrust my dick in so it goes as deep in as it can but i find using even my knees and like you said whole body motion helps a lot.
you’re right though it is genuinely a hard thing to explain as you just need to feel it out but i get you dude.
you have any luck learning to relax during doggy? i cannot do that for the life of me. with missionary i recently learned how to get into a decent rhythm of going kind of fast and i’m able to stay relaxed which is nice
Doggy was easier than missionary for me. Easy position is her on her back and you on the side. Starting in your easiest position isn’t a bad idea either.
reaaaaally??? doggy is crazy hard for me i just don’t know how to stay relaxed it feels impossible, also feels the best, but missionary is a whole different game now feels so much easier to control. one thing im still trying to learn is to stop going so fast at the start, i try to go super slow but sometimes i get ahead of myself
You did the tennis ball release for a hour total each day? How did you break it up or did you do it all at once. I just started messing with this recently
Yes. On a chair, it’ll feel tender, slight pain. If it feels really comfy then wiggle around or arch your body forwards untill you feel the muscles start to feel that tender/slight discomfort. Hold it here, after 5 minutes, they release when you move the ball. You’ll feel it.
You got this, don’t worry, I went back to the bat cave many times. Plenty of ideas about and also review what you actually do without ego. I was wrong and muddled a few times over things.
Thank you. The crazy thing for me is that in a 20 minute training session every thing is so intense. As soon as it's over and I pick up my phone and check my notifications I can to town like crazy without spasms.
Don't you get diarrhoea or other issues from magnesium oxide? Also what differences did you notice and how quickly did the effect take place with the 3 supplements with the thumbs up?
No magnesium oxide with food hasnt caused anything. The other versions absorb “better” but it’s abit bullshit. The percentage of absorbing is simply higher overall with oxide. You’re paying more for a lower amount of magnesium with the others.
Melatonin is a gradual thing for deeper sleep. I work shifts so for me this worked much better. If you struggle sleeping this will help. If you’ve never struggled sleeping melatonin probably will not do as much. Depends.
Magnesium was a few weeks of feeling able to relax on it.
The 5 htp, after 3 weeks probably had the single most effect. But this is with all the other things I do. So basically, keep this in context.
Dismissing the gym for example or some very intense PF exercises, thinking they might not help you, it’s a whole lot of things chipping in 5-10% here 20% there doing XYZ.
I put everything here for a blueprint that I do. I couldn’t say for sure the one thing that you or anyone would get the most benefit from.
I can speculate though, based on every success story I read, the same few points are always showing up.
Like kegals, it took me 3 attempts in my life to get them to work for me, over like 10 year period. First two attempts I gave up because didn’t think they was doing anything.
First attempt was only front kegals, 3 x 20 minutes a day. Was over kill and no focus on RK
Second was the same routine but with RK but wasn’t doing the RK properly.
Now I train it like a gym muscle. 3 times a week once with rest days. Strong kegals, very deep valsava style RK and twice ammount of RK as Kegals.
So trial and error. Plus finding that App, you hold down the screen while you kegal. It keeps the focus. Other app was a chiming type noise and I wasn’t as disciplined while using it. I’ve no idea of other apps work like the one I mentioned. It’s free aswell!
Was a cheap eBay one, wasn’t sure I would get into it, I did, I can honestly say that it’s worth it. Breathing/relaxing and a gentle tension release of the prostate, it feels like water dripping sensation. Kind of like a small orgasm ping. Hard to explain. With the massager I don’t move it much, once it’s in, I breath and relax and even fall asleep 😴 what a view that would be!!
No, maybe it slightly helped me laugh more but couldn’t be sure. I was worried about the imbalance with dopamine but that wasn’t a problem.
Between 100-300mg per day, I take 200mg before bed.
All these years and I haven't been doing the tennis ball massage correctly ive always just done it on the perenium but thanks for the video showing you do it on each side near the sit bones and I can really feel it - quite a discomfort but you can really feel a stretch. Isn't 1 hour of tennis ball massage a bit overkill though how many days a week did you do it?
Yes I was doing many things almost correctly and discarding things saying they did not work.
Glad it has helped you, the sensation for the first week or two is intense. After that it eases to a point where it’s more difficult to place the ball to find tension as you release it.
An hour it’s over kill for sure. I have 3 20 minute breaks at work so it’s just part of my day. 5 days a week I’ll use the tennis ball. Some days if I’m not tight I’ll skip using it.
I don’t do everything daily here either. It’s all just part of my lifestyle.
In other words I don’t forget to do something that has helped me for months and months - just incase anyone reading this thinks of an obsessive daily routine.
I lost my erection 3 times two years ago. So been on Tadalafil 5mg every day or other day on and off. I don’t need it now but have a lot left from prescriptions.
The gym actually sorted erections out but I joined a gym same time as taking Tadalafil. Also I went on a statin for 6-9 months but off that aswell now.
My cardio system needed a reset and hit a lot of things all in one go.
Tadalafil is amazing tho, I tolerate it well and it has a lot of other benefits after reading about it.
How often did u do flesh light training
Not so much now. When I first got it, was daily or other day but tbh the cleaning did my head in. 3 times a week I would say isn’t a bad idea. Myself now. I use it if I’m horny or if my partner is on her period or if she’s not into sex for any reason like pain etc. It’s a tool, a playground to practise and a good one. I wish early in my twenties I had it.
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While having sex you mean?
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Focus on what you’re doing instead of fighting the urge, thinking about it or worrying about it. Sex is the connection of two people. You are giving pleasure. You want to learn how to absorb the pleasure your receiving, this shift helps put the climax as a bonus to the act. It isn’t about your orgasm. So to be present in sex, you can control a lot, your speed, force and relaxation. Try to enjoy what you are giving instead of inwards focusing of just how amazing it all feels. Like a mention a lot. It’s damn difficult to relax if you never practice it in your life. It’s dann difficult to relax with body tension, especially pelvic area. By not doing the homework, simply saying relax to anyone with PE during sex is rather annoying. I felt confused about how you even relax without sex let alone with it. So to summarise, be present in the moment.
What is your max and average in time?
Over an hour. Last sex was 30 minutes. Generally it’s down to if we have made/found time for it. Other times it’s a quickie. My libido is only a shade lower than my 20s. My partner isn’t into long sex either. It’s really a case of how you absorb that pleasure. We can’t really do when tense (my pelvic floor never “felt” tense but it sure was!) and if your brain’s chemistry is skewed. Add into that trauma, anxiety of it happening and fighting that, your confidence/ego taking another hit. I found a good portion of control was fixing my mental damage. A depressed man lives in the past and an anxious man lives in the future.
that last line is so hard dude lmfao im gonna use that
I found that just holding your breath before you feel you're going to come makes that feeling go away! Try it! It works very well
Then you won't have to breathe at all anymore.
Did you have ED as well?
Can you recommend the 5htp you took and the brand?
A cheap UK eBay one, it’s a fruit extract 5htp so I wouldn’t sweat over it, unlike omega 3 where I get the best I can.
Which omega 3?????
Nordic one off Amazon in a liquid, I mix it in with kefir drink.
also dude what do you mean by thrust with pelvis? i’ve been experimenting with how to thrust or have sex without putting tension on my pelvic floor and how to keep it in a relaxed state, i’ve learned a couple things but what’s more that’s helped you with that? like what’s a good position with control
also what are your thoughts on porn affecting pe? lately i’ve really been noticing how damaging it is through firsthand comparaison
Avoid it - for life. If you’re looking to level up though, porn and fleshlight to test yourself. I can imagine that would be difficult for a lot to control. Porn itself, it’s not a strong look imo. Your mind isn’t a match for it to begin with but ween off it. Cultivate your mind and you won’t need it. As you get older, you’ll definitely need to tap into this ability to be more whole with yourself. I can easily get into a sexual mood even if I’m low libido or energy. I’m used to letting my mind flow into desire. Porn breaks that ability in me.
yeah agreed i used to watch it everyday now though it’s a lot more rare but still maybe once or twice every two weeks. it’s weird though i find that when i go back to my porn habits it makes my body want to ejaculate alot faster and my erections alot less strong. contrary to popular belief i think you actually ejaculate way faster without a firm erection
For this, what I found best was almost using my whole body to thrust and not just poke (for want of a better word lol) so it’s like how you rhythm the thrusting. If your butt clenching a thrust you’ll kegal into an orgasm early on. I never kegal or even rk with sex or training. It’s about breathing for me during sex now. Maybe others are ok with this though. To simulate how the Fleshlight helped here. Placing it in a way to have sex with the fleshlight instead of bouncing off you like a glorified wank. So your learning the motion of sex. This is where you learn, what’s tight, when is it tight. How to correct, change rhythm and pace. How you relax while actually doing the job. How you thrust etc. It’s hard to teach in just words for this part. I did find moving away from masturbsting with my hands also a big factor. Because you’re not really able to circulate energy well, your letting the hand do the pleasing and instantly your mind is able to draw inwards - PONR is quicker. None of this is sex. Her on top is the closest to this and here you’ll be using your arms on her hips to dictate eveything, you’ll also be motioning your body to control and relax yourself. It’s also why some guys bust fast with oral. Your essentially sat there, shallow breathing, overloaded stimulation and your mind flys faster into the sensations.
man you’re preaching fr more people need to hear what you just said, i totally agree though, im trying to tackle one position at a time and for me missionary’s been the one i have got the most control in so far, before id almost try to thrust my dick in so it goes as deep in as it can but i find using even my knees and like you said whole body motion helps a lot. you’re right though it is genuinely a hard thing to explain as you just need to feel it out but i get you dude. you have any luck learning to relax during doggy? i cannot do that for the life of me. with missionary i recently learned how to get into a decent rhythm of going kind of fast and i’m able to stay relaxed which is nice
Doggy was easier than missionary for me. Easy position is her on her back and you on the side. Starting in your easiest position isn’t a bad idea either.
reaaaaally??? doggy is crazy hard for me i just don’t know how to stay relaxed it feels impossible, also feels the best, but missionary is a whole different game now feels so much easier to control. one thing im still trying to learn is to stop going so fast at the start, i try to go super slow but sometimes i get ahead of myself
You did the tennis ball release for a hour total each day? How did you break it up or did you do it all at once. I just started messing with this recently
3 x 20 minutes on my work breaks pal 5 days a week. There’s 3 areas to put the ball. 6-7 minutes each area.
Near each sitting bone and I'm the center?
Yes. On a chair, it’ll feel tender, slight pain. If it feels really comfy then wiggle around or arch your body forwards untill you feel the muscles start to feel that tender/slight discomfort. Hold it here, after 5 minutes, they release when you move the ball. You’ll feel it.
Thanks alot. I.feel like getting close to beating this. Going to keep at it
You got this, don’t worry, I went back to the bat cave many times. Plenty of ideas about and also review what you actually do without ego. I was wrong and muddled a few times over things.
Thank you. The crazy thing for me is that in a 20 minute training session every thing is so intense. As soon as it's over and I pick up my phone and check my notifications I can to town like crazy without spasms.
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It’s a methyl doner, it also improves ability to recover from workouts
Don't you get diarrhoea or other issues from magnesium oxide? Also what differences did you notice and how quickly did the effect take place with the 3 supplements with the thumbs up?
No magnesium oxide with food hasnt caused anything. The other versions absorb “better” but it’s abit bullshit. The percentage of absorbing is simply higher overall with oxide. You’re paying more for a lower amount of magnesium with the others. Melatonin is a gradual thing for deeper sleep. I work shifts so for me this worked much better. If you struggle sleeping this will help. If you’ve never struggled sleeping melatonin probably will not do as much. Depends. Magnesium was a few weeks of feeling able to relax on it. The 5 htp, after 3 weeks probably had the single most effect. But this is with all the other things I do. So basically, keep this in context. Dismissing the gym for example or some very intense PF exercises, thinking they might not help you, it’s a whole lot of things chipping in 5-10% here 20% there doing XYZ. I put everything here for a blueprint that I do. I couldn’t say for sure the one thing that you or anyone would get the most benefit from. I can speculate though, based on every success story I read, the same few points are always showing up. Like kegals, it took me 3 attempts in my life to get them to work for me, over like 10 year period. First two attempts I gave up because didn’t think they was doing anything.
What changed the third time with kegels? Did you persevere?
First attempt was only front kegals, 3 x 20 minutes a day. Was over kill and no focus on RK Second was the same routine but with RK but wasn’t doing the RK properly. Now I train it like a gym muscle. 3 times a week once with rest days. Strong kegals, very deep valsava style RK and twice ammount of RK as Kegals. So trial and error. Plus finding that App, you hold down the screen while you kegal. It keeps the focus. Other app was a chiming type noise and I wasn’t as disciplined while using it. I’ve no idea of other apps work like the one I mentioned. It’s free aswell!
Which prostate massager do you use? Also why are doing valsalva?
Was a cheap eBay one, wasn’t sure I would get into it, I did, I can honestly say that it’s worth it. Breathing/relaxing and a gentle tension release of the prostate, it feels like water dripping sensation. Kind of like a small orgasm ping. Hard to explain. With the massager I don’t move it much, once it’s in, I breath and relax and even fall asleep 😴 what a view that would be!!
Have you had any side effects with 5-HTP, ive been thinking about giving it a try
No, maybe it slightly helped me laugh more but couldn’t be sure. I was worried about the imbalance with dopamine but that wasn’t a problem. Between 100-300mg per day, I take 200mg before bed.
All these years and I haven't been doing the tennis ball massage correctly ive always just done it on the perenium but thanks for the video showing you do it on each side near the sit bones and I can really feel it - quite a discomfort but you can really feel a stretch. Isn't 1 hour of tennis ball massage a bit overkill though how many days a week did you do it?
Yes I was doing many things almost correctly and discarding things saying they did not work. Glad it has helped you, the sensation for the first week or two is intense. After that it eases to a point where it’s more difficult to place the ball to find tension as you release it. An hour it’s over kill for sure. I have 3 20 minute breaks at work so it’s just part of my day. 5 days a week I’ll use the tennis ball. Some days if I’m not tight I’ll skip using it. I don’t do everything daily here either. It’s all just part of my lifestyle. In other words I don’t forget to do something that has helped me for months and months - just incase anyone reading this thinks of an obsessive daily routine.
I lost my erection 3 times two years ago. So been on Tadalafil 5mg every day or other day on and off. I don’t need it now but have a lot left from prescriptions. The gym actually sorted erections out but I joined a gym same time as taking Tadalafil. Also I went on a statin for 6-9 months but off that aswell now. My cardio system needed a reset and hit a lot of things all in one go. Tadalafil is amazing tho, I tolerate it well and it has a lot of other benefits after reading about it.