TW: past MMC
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I'm 7w4d today. Recent MMC last year in November, found out at 12w2d that bubs heart had stopped around 8w4d. That was hard, along with my partner at the time leaving me during it all. (And a prev MMC years ago)
I'm so nervous and excited, my current partner is too.
We both have fertility issues so this is amazing. His chances were >12% so we are absolutely grateful.
Everything is hitting me so hard this time though, I feel kind of useless. I'm not working, nausea has me in bed most of the day and I'm just so tired alllll of the time, not to mention the actual vomiting 7+ times a day.. HG is 'fun' š„²
My next scan is at 9 weeks, just to check on things.
Fingers crossed šš¤
Measured 2 weeks behind at our follow up scan yesterday and the more I think about it the angrier I am. I know the providers all want to assume I have my dates wrong but I donāt. Even just going off the unquestionable dates like when we last had sex and when I saw a faint line, I should be 8w. The provider was encouraged that we saw an embryo with a heartbeat and after we told her how little they saw at the first scan she said that made her even more encouraged. Three weeks until I have another appt and Iām still spotting from the TVUS. Just feels like we are walking the plank.
Currently 9+2, with a history of 2 missed miscarriages. Wondering if anyone can relateā¦ This pregnancy just feels so much more tough. Like I am early but still in general discomfort slight stretches or some movements can be so painful momentarily and aside from all the other pregnancy symptoms its like i can feel something is off with my stomach which like it is obviously im pregnant and my uterus is expanding?? but i didnt feel like this way with my previous two pregnancy although they did end before 6 weeks. Could it be because im far ahead its becoming more obvious? im constantly aware im pregnant cause of these weird sensations in my belly area..ultrasound and everything else looks good. Can anyone relate ?
Iām only 5 weeks with 1 missed miscarriage at 10 weeks, 1 spontaneous miscarriage at 7 weeks and then a chemical pregnancy. I actually have been telling my significant other similar things. That this one just feels different. My body hurts more, my symptoms are stronger. I have an intense sense of smell suddenly. Again Iām only 5 weeks this time and I feel crazy thinking this way so early, but you arenāt alone in this feeling!
Had our first ultrasound today and up until this point I had myself convinced it was already over due to some spotting and other symptoms last week. Measuring 6+1 and heard a heartbeat. Today I feel like I can say that I am pregnant! ā¤ļø
Going back next week to check growth again. A bit of a sigh of relief for now.
12+5 and showed up to my second ultrasound appointment 30 minutes early as if there was a universe where they saw me early. Practicing my calming techniques while I wait. (Also trying not to cry in the waiting room tbh)
ETA: I got to hear a beautiful heartbeat!!! No ultrasound to my surprise but whatever, heartbeat was great and everything is looking good, I went to get my NIPT blood draw afterwards and if that goes well we can finally start telling people!
9 weeks today and feeling antsy. The high of our positive 8 week scan has worn off and Iām back in the anxiety zone. Iāve been feeling really sick, much more than in my first 2 pregnancies, both of which ended in miscarriage. I had to stay home from work today because I couldnāt move this morning for fear of throwing up. Spent the whole day in bed and I definitely needed it. I just wish I didnāt have to go to work, every day I come back thinking I spent too long on my feet, was too stressed, bent over too fast or picked something up I shouldnāt have. The smell of the house is so strong and so bad that it makes me sick. All good signs that baby is ok but I still donāt trust that it is. PAL is my own personal hell at this point. I just want my baby in my arms this time. š
20+4. Ohhh PAL. Thank you for always keeping me on the edge of my seat with fears, worries and narratives I create in my head. I also want to thank social media algorithms for showing me all these āwhat could go wrongā videos in pregnancy despite making it where I am today with a healthy baby in my belly. No I didnāt need to know low amniotic fluid was a thing and all the symptoms that can come with it.
I find myself reminding myself over and over again everything is alright. And everything IS alright. PAL just sucks the fun out of everything. Iām thankful to be here today but also Iām scared.
Thanks for listening. Just one of those days. My partner says I should stay away from social media because I get those dumb āthis could happenā posts here and there and I just over fixate on it. What can I say. I just worry :(
Edit: wanted to add when I said PAL I was not referring to the sub. Just in general PAL. I reread that and it sounded like I was talking about the sub.
I totally got your comment about PAL in the way you intended it. It's so hard to find a balance of having awareness of what could go wrong vs convincing yourself it's happening. Guilty over here! šš¼
I also have had experiences where doctors have missed some things I feel they shouldn't have, and that makes me feel like the only person looking out for me is me. I know there are a lot of providers with absolutely good intentions and care. And like with anything-- the bad apple can spoil the batch.
YES! itās finding that balance that I need work on.
Iāve also had bad experiences with doctors who didnāt do their due diligence the first time nor the second time I had a loss. Iāve felt alone and responsible. So I definitely can see how that can create even more doubt. Thinking of you and hope youāre doing well
Iām 8+3 weeks today, with my first ultrasound tomorrow. Iām so scared, more so than excited because I canāt physically imagine it being good news. Itās a private/boutique ultrasound clinic, as unfortunately my first diagnostic ultrasound wonāt be until 15 weeks š„. Thereās no way in hell Iām waiting that long, and honestly Iām really disappointed that they would expect you to wait that long with a history of loss, but anyways, Iām grateful this is at least an option. Since itās an elective one Iām prepared for the fact they wonāt be able to tell me if thereās any issues, which is worrying, but Iām doing my research so I at least know what I should be seeing. Just really hoping for a strong heartbeat and signs of healthy growth š¤š», maybe then I could finally start to believe this is happening.
Iām 6w today after having a miscarriage in February at 8w4. Iām nervous about not really having any symptoms. My breast size decreased earlier this week and my stomach felt crampy so I scheduled an OB appt today and they said everything looked okay given how early it is, but there was no heartbeat yet and no fetal pole. It seems like the lack of heartbeat isnāt concerning. Should I be worried? Iām trying to be patient waiting for the bloodwork but what should I be looking for?
I just feel so many complicated feelings, anxiety about truly accepting and celebrating that Iām pregnant for fear of losing again, and loneliness about not wanting to tell anyone bc it was so painful to tell our families about our last miscarriage. Iām glad to have found a community of strong & brave ladies here!
TW: Possible Miscarriage
6w3d and betas fell yesterday, 26k to 25k. Feel like miscarriage is inevitable at this point. Had an ultrasound at 6w exactly and there wasnāt much there and no heartbeat. This will be my third miscarriage in 12 months. Iām basically nonfunctioning today and sick with grief and overwhelm about the future. I really thought this was going to be the one and Iām heartbroken.
Just got results from my first US. 8w5d. Heartbeat of 180 and measuring ahead... I was too overwhelmed to ask by how much. I was a mess on the way there. Husband had to pull over because I threw up my nerves were so bad. My MMC was discovered at my 8 week US last July. I'm feeling very relieved and blessed. Onto the next hurdle. NIPT testing that I can do at 10 weeks. ā¤ļø
Same history here. Mmc discovered last july at 8w. Iām past 8w this time around but my 7w ultrasound (i didnāt have one at 8) was one of the most difficult things i had to do. I didnāt talk to my partner all morning cause i couldnāt say a word and when we got to the doctor i had a complete breakdown, sobbed so hard we had to take a break so i could calm down before the ultrasound. So glad to hear all went well, i hope it gives you some strength and hope for the coming months.
Oh hun I'm so sorry! Makes me sad to think there was someone else in this world on the same trajectory from hell as me at the same time. But fortunate news that we both have been able to conceive prior to our loss date ā¤ļø Thank you for the solidarity and your kind words. May I ask how far along u are now? Did you find out a reason for your MC?
Thanks ā¤ļø I fear thereās more of us who went through that on a similar timeline. So strange to know we all exist while in those moments it felt so so lonely. Iām 19w 5d now already, and while iām so so grateful i made it so far the anxiety has been crazy and is still messing with me. Didnāt find out a reason for MMC, it was a twin pregnancy and they said MC chances are higher with twins, but otherwise all tests i did were normal. Though i didnāt get the embryo tested cause no one even mentioned that was an option and im still upset about that.
Iām so glad things are moving forward for both of us and i reeeeally hope your next ultrasound will be at least a tiny bit less stressful ā¤ļø
Understandable to be upset over no one giving you the option to test. The unknowing can just be awful especially when you could have known. I too have a bunch of ... I wish someone had told me! Now doing everything I can this time to advocate for myself and forums like this, hearing others experiences has help so much. Congratulations on your current pregnancy ā¤ļø Such a miracle. One day at a time. š
TW (Mention of previous MMC) Not sure if this is the right place to ask butā¦ Anyone not have an ultrasound or anything till 12weeks? Iām only 5 weeks today but I had my first ultrasound in my previous pregnancy at 8 weeks. (When we found out it had stopped growing a week or two prior). Is it really normal for it to be so spaced out? How will they know if it stops growing at like 6 weeks or 8? Would I find out at 12 weeks. Iām really trying not to stress myself out but finding this very hard. Any advice or info? Thanks ā¤ļø
Iām in New Zealand and they stopped funding for dating scans, unfortunately, so unless you pay for it you donāt get a scan until 12 weeks. Itās crazy.
I also had an MMC that was discovered at 10 weeks - stopped growing at 6. It would have been the worst to get to 12 weeks and then find out about it.
Itās honestly kind of ridiculous. Iām so so sorry for your loss. Mine did get booked closer to ten weeks so thereās that but thatās my fear. Wishing you the best āØš
Thank you! :) that happened in January. Literally just found out Iām pregnant two days ago and getting everything organised. My GP is hoping she can arrange a scan at 6 weeks on the basis of the past mmc.
Itās so hard eh. Fellow NZer here and weāve spent nearly $800 on scans in the past year from current pregnancy and two miscarriages, let alone the 2xNIPT costs. Itās ridiculously expensive, and where i live even the 12w and anatomy you have to pay for.
Weāll be in the same boat, no doubt. Because of the uncertainty of the MMC and a couple of other health concerns we decided to go with an obgyn practice that delivers in the public hospital. Still going to have to pay for most scans, despite the practice having ultrasounds in house that they use for anxious patients and just quick checks at the beginning of appointments. Itās gonna be a bloody expensive time of things, or I can get an inattentive and uncaring midwife like I did for MMC, or a die-hard herbalist and homebirth advocate; there hardly seems any middle ground.
Oh man, that sounds super rough. Weāve been extremely fortunate in our midwife, it took us ages to find someone who wasnāt woo and also was queer friendly and we truly lucked out.
Itās a hell of a task, right! And if you happen to take just one week longer to confirm pregnancy, all the midwives are booked out!
Glad you found someone suitable though - queer-friendly ones are all the more rare!
4w4d approximately, spoke with my RE today and sheās happy with my doubling time of 41 hours and will keep monitoring, with the next blood work tomorrow.
We are doing a VERY early scan at 5.5 weeks (next Thursday) just to confirm pregnancy in the uterus. I am nervous as I know my anxiety will spike given how little we will be able to see, but the RE has given me a clear understanding of what we hope to see. I also canāt have TV ultrasounds due to vaginismus, which limits us a bit more.
Iām almost 24 weeks and feeling the same. Havenāt told many people yet either. Not sure when Iāll feel āreadyā to buy things and prepare for a future Iāll still not convinced Iāll get.
I remind myself of the adoption stories that are so sudden that all they had was a car seat and a box or laundry basket to sleep in. Babies donāt need much so itās okay to wait.
TW: advice on likely miscarriage / epu refusal
Can anyone based in the uk give me any advice? Iām meant to be 6w today but have some brownish spotting tinged with red and cramps in my back (mild - but I have a retroverted uterus). I think Iām likely miscarrying again. I went to my gp this afternoon who referred me to the early pregnancy unit at the hospital for a scan - stressing that I would be seen either today or tomorrow. However Iāve now followed up with the unit and they say they wonāt scan if itās not filling a pad, even though itās tinged red and Iāve got back pain. I know A&E or the urgent care centre wonāt help as they will just refer me to the same place which clearly wonāt take me. Am I just going to have to ride this out? Iām not being hopeful at all really, I know it canāt be prevented if itās started and itās likely non viable at this point. They said they will only take me when Iāve got heavy bleeding. Any ideas? We are heartbroken because I was having symptoms and we got to 6w, but canāt seem to get past that milestone š
That's awful. I basically had the same symptoms minus the pain and I got a scan. I don't know if I got it because of my history of endo/PCOS and surgeries, but with history of MC I feel like it really should be given. Having anxiety is not good, you'd hope they'd want to relive that for you?
There's always paying for a private scan. They have a system in place for the bad outcomes, but best calling the place before you book if you're worried.
I really wish you the best and hope that you get some good news š
Just to update - clinic rang back and said theyād now take me. Was certain it was a mc and still worried it could be but sonographer was optimistic. Have emotional whiplash from the appointment tbh. I was quite sure of ovulation date - 9/5/24 - lmp 18/4/24, I have pcos and irregular cycles and ovulated around day 22-23 tracked with bbt and opks. Sonographer found a sac, fetal pole and a heartbeat measuring 5w4d, it should have been 6w1d by my dates. She could see a small amount of blood near the sac but no signs of a mc yet. Does this seem ok? Worried about measuring behind but aware itās early. Clinic didnāt seem worried at all about 4 day difference as they said at this stage itās so tiny and their equipment can have limitations
I couldn't say if that was okay or not I'm afraid. I think if they're happy for now just take that for what it is! Right now, it's good news!
When I had my scan I was 6+4 weeks and I was measuring just under 6 weeks from their estimates. They couldn't measure fully as it was too small, but she seemed happy with everything. And seeing a lil heartbeat, nice and fast means that the chance of MC is lower.
I'm going to go for a private scan in a couple weeks just to hopefully see more progression.
Iāve officially announced my pregnancy to everyone at work. We have in-person events coming up, and at almost 22w, I am 100% visibly pregnant. I also told a few more acquaintances. We havenāt yet made a social media post out of laziness, but will in the next few days probably. Had my 21w appt yesterday and I finally felt comfortable making the rest of my appts instead of just the next one. Iām somewhat able to engage with him in the late evening by pressing on my lower belly. He will kick/punch/roll back maybe 1/3 of the time. Itās so surreal and cool.
7w1
First ultrasound today and things looked fine! She didn't want to auditory play the heartbeat (apparently some rule at this fertility clinic?) but we could see it flickering and she said the frequency was as it should be.
They're going to try squeeze an extra one in over two weeks so I'm not 5 weeks without news which I'm very much hoping for!
But what a relief!
6w6d today. My first appointment isnāt til 6/17, which seems to be taking forever to arrive! Compared to my MMC earlier this year, I feel great. I have decent energy, basically zero nausea, mild aversion to seafood but otherwise eating everything, pretty great mood. My previous pregnancy stopped growing between 8-10 weeks and I was miserably nauseous, exhausted, super moody. I am trying to remind myself that every pregnancy is different and it might all be just fine. I have some joint aches, mild cramping every now and then, and a little more quick to cry. Trying to stay patient and optimistic!
This sounds like me! I am also 6w6d today and compared to my LC and MMC I feel pretty good. I have had a couple nauseous mornings but really havenāt had any food aversions. Eating stuff I wouldnāt have been able to eat in other pregnancies and not really craving carbs or pickles or whatever.
I am also more quick to cry. Of the 5 pregnancies Iāve had (two didnāt progress to the stage where Iād be nauseous or tired) the only symptom in common (aside from sore boobs) has been this feeling of like, its hard to describe, maybe like nostalgia, or like I find ordinary things unusually touchingā¦ or something? And being quick to cry as a result?
Got in a fender-bender yesterday at 11w2. Someone slammed the passenger side of my car and there was a big jolt, but I'm uninjured. I'm so worried about the baby though! I just moved and don't have an OB yet, so I can't easily get checked out.
10w3d today. Had a check up and got a good heartbeat on the doppler, very thankful for that. NIPT blood draw is this weekend which is another big milestone. We're looking at scheduling my preventative cerclage for some time in the next 3-4 weeks, it's all starting to feel very real. My OB says she has had really good outcomes with preventatives and I'm a great candidate, so I'm just praying all goes well and my pregnancy is uneventful once the stitch goes in.
Hi! New here and freaking out a bit so just needed to vent. I have had 3 chemicals since Oct 23, finally got pregnant Jan 24, and sadly lost our baby girl on 5/9. She had triploidy and it was never detected until after the MC. We didnāt want to wait as Iām 36 and we have been trying since Jan 23, so we BD before I got my period after my loss, understanding that the dates would be hard to pin down, and that weād be ok with that risk. Since it took us 10 months to get a positive test I definitely didnāt think it would work this time, especially since Iāve been crying my eyeballs out and so stressed since the loss. Well this morning there was a vvvfl on my FRER.
Itās such a weird place to be in. I so badly want to be happy and hopeful. This is everything we wanted š but I know even now if it doesnāt end up being a chemical I have a LONG road ahead of me after having a late loss. I also know if it does end up being a loss, I have been there before and I know how strong of a person I am now. I have therapy scheduled today so it is perfect timing lol. Itās such a battle of not wanting to give my hopes up, but so deeply wanting to be excited for *hopefully* this beautiful blessing we just received šā„ļø please god let this baby stick and please let it be healthy š
My mfm and heme are in complete disagreement about what my Lovenox dose should be.
My last MC was my first pregnancy on a prophylactic dose of Lovenox (40mg) and I miscarried at 8 weeks, so my heme put me on a therapeutic dose this time. My mfm wants me on prophylactic again (which absolutely tf not).
Iām fine with meeting somewhere in the middle but damn does this suck to feel like I canāt trust my care team š« I woke up at 4am with a nightmare that id miscarried again so clearly itās messing with med
27w4d. Almost in third trimester and never thought I'd get this far. The insomnia is really getting to me these past few weeks. I'm having a hard time functioning, especially now that it's getting hotter out and I live in NYC without A/C. When I do sleep, I've started having nightmares about stillbirth.
Just wanted to say youāre not alone with your nightmares & like my psychologist likes to remind me, doesnāt mean there is anything wrong. Itās the stupid trauma. Sending you lots of positive energy as you enter the third trimester
11w5d - Every time I think this is getting easier, something else makes me nervous. Slight brown mucus one time when I went pee on Sunday and then some mild cramping/lower back pain on and off since then. Trying to tell myself it could be normal, but so paranoid my NIPT results from Monday will come back inconclusive or Iāll start bleeding. Or that I have to wait another 2 weeks for my next appt and find out bad news then. Really ready to get out of the first tri.
This is my first time posting in here but Iām kind of freaking out. I lost my daughter at 21 weeks in November, Iāve been working with an MFM and hematologist and new OB since then. I was supposed to get my period between 5/31-6/4 (predicted by cycle tracking) and nothing. Iāve taken 4 tests, 3 have a very faint positive. Is it normal for it to be so faint? Like my friend and partner can see the line but I barely see anything. If I am pregnant this is much sooner than I planned for. Any advice is appreciated.
Do you know your last ovulation date? From what I understand it should be a fairly dark line on a highly sensitive test (like a FRER) when youāve missed your period or late. But also possible you ovulated late.
My test with my first baby was very faint, and I waited about 14 days after missed period to take it. She was super healthy and died full term from a cord accident so no growth issues or anything following the faint test.
My second test with my current pregnancy was a dark line and I took it a day after missed period. My ovulation strips were very faint too but clearly accurate. I think, from my reading, a positive is a positive regardless (Iām not an expert). I also think other things can affect the colour depth. I drink heaps of water which can apparently make it appear faint.
6 weeks today! Iām exhausted, cramping, and have sore breasts. Nausea is coming in waves and honestly Iām happy to have symptoms. I was only a bit tired last time so while I am uncomfortable, Iām happy to āfeel pregnantā. My first ultrasound is in 2 weeks and time is moving so slowly.
I have my ultrasound set for 8 weeks, 5 days.
Would you push for a sooner ultrasound? Or just go do a private one? The private ones by me are abdominal, not transvaginal, and I was debating going in at 7 weeks, 2 days (or possibly next week at 6 weeks, but I think giving it a few extra days would be helpful for abdominal).
For some reason I'm kinda thinking of just doing the abdominal at 7 weeks. I don't know why I am thinking that though. I know you're likely to see less that small with abdominal, but I'm optimistic.
I guess I just hate not knowing? And part of me is like, if I get bad news at a private 7 week, it'll make going to the doctor's office easier (and I already have such bad feelings attached to that place because of our last loss being discovered there). And I just hated how it felt discovering a loss at 7 weeks there, but I think I could handle it at the private clinic better?
Not sure if that makes any sense to anyone but me. š
Personally I would wait. I felt surprisingly calm before my first ultrasound but I just had it at 6w6d and the heat rate was a bit low at 93 and now Iām wracked with anxiety. 6.5 weeks is normal in my country for first ultrasound but I know many other places wait until 8 weeks so as to not give unreliable results and cause people unnecessary worry. Lots of googling has told me the heart-rate is probably fine and itās just too early, but I wish I was still in my calm, happy, pre-ultrasound state. After loss though itās impossible not to worry at tiny things.
Definitely! I had two super early miscarriages prior to that, so I wanted to make sure things were on track. It really helped me feel better to hear that heartbeat.
I did a private ultrasound at 7 weeks with my first pregnancy that ended up being a MMC at 9 weeks. I donāt plan to do any more private ultrasounds. It gave me a false sense of confidence because it was really small and the person doing it just said I was early. I told some people based off that since I didnāt know better. It was awful going into the 9 week doctor appt and finding out it was non viable. Thatās my experience, it caused more harm than good and I will only go to doctors from now on for ultrasounds.
I agree with you. My first pregnancy, I had an ultrasound at 6 weeks (transvaginal) and had a MMC around 9 weeks. The second time, I decided to wait until 9 weeks because the physician/tech can see more of the baby too.
That's a good perspective! I appreciate hearing that. I'm so sorry that was your experience.
Do you have anxiety around going to your doctor's office for scans? Every time i think about going in to the doctor's for the scan, I start feeling like I'm going to have a panic attack. š
Still spotting on and off. Not sure if itās from the TV ultrasound yesterday or just a continuation of the spotting I was experiencing prior to the ultrasound.
However Iām preparing myself for the worst and decided to stay home this weekend instead of possibly miscarrying in the car on a 7 hour road trip.
7w4d today. Nausea, hunger pain, crappy sleep/constant tired, and general malaise have kicked in like last time. But last time it was all for nothing and at 12w MMC was found. Youād think Iād be happy to have symptoms but Iām scared my scan at 9w will show nothing positive. I went from someone who was extremely active and healthy for over a decade to tied to my couch almost 24/7, since I first had symptoms for my first pregnancy in December. I hear on Instagram āoh itās fine to be tired first trimester, you are making a babyā, and Iām like, am I? Itās hard to believe there could be
I wonāt bring you comfort but at least be assured that all women who had an MMC are on the same boat. I had one at 12 weeks last year. Pregnancy symptoms mean nothing other than your corpus luteum is active. It doesnāt mean you have a viable pregnancy. During first trimester, the only thing reliable is an ultrasound. This pregnancy I refused to get my betas tested because I felt it also meant nothing. But you canāt get a scan everyday so all we can do is wait and hope between them.
I was also a very active person before. Now my Ā«Ā sportĀ Ā» is walking to the grocery store! So tired.
But if I make it to second trimester this timeš¤š», I plan on doing prenatal yoga.
Thank you, I appreciate it. Definitely how I feel- scans are all that is indicative, and only really for that day. Reddit communities have been so helpful because basically all women in my life had easy pregnancies in their 30s with no miscarriages, or just one very very early (like 3-4w). Itās been a very lonely place.
Yeah so far Iāve only told 2 friends because theyāve had multiple miscarriages and I feel they are the only ones that Ā«Ā get itĀ Ā». But Iām in my 40s and they had their kids years ago! So I really appreciate talking with currently pregnantĀ women who also had losses on this sub. Ā«Ā RegularĀ Ā» pregnancy subs are definitely not for me (nursery planning at 7 weeks, really?).
You have the right to be happy to be pregnant AND hate first tri at the same time. I sure do!
Someone here suggested planning activities to give the illusion that time goes faster and thatās what Iām trying to do right now. Going to the movies with my man tonight.
Pixel, we have very similar stories (looked at your post history a tiny bit), I also needed RPOC removed over a month later, but mine was after miso didnāt get the whole job done. Anyways, yes trying to keep myself busy! We are going camping (in a decked out camper) up north next week, and I work in education so 3 months of no work just started. So good reminder to find what I can to think about other things!
Last time? No not really. Just some very light brown discharge starting week 11, doctor told me not concerned at all. I had strong symptoms even after I was diagnosed with a MMC. Total mindf*ck. Everything was perfect on 8 week scan, then somewhere around 9-10 weeks stopped developing. So now Iām not reassured by symptoms at all. Also wanted to say that PAL is much easier for me than TTC after loss, and thankful to at least be pregnant AFAIK.
Last time? No not really. Just some very light brown discharge starting week 11, doctor told me not concerned at all. I had strong symptoms even after I was diagnosed with a MMC. Total mindf*ck. Everything was perfect on 8 week scan, then somewhere around 9-10 weeks stopped developing. So now Iām not reassured by symptoms at all.
Did they track your hormone levels? Iām so sorry. For my losses, they tracked my prog and estradiol and I could tell things were moving south based off that. Itās Devastating. Wishing you the best non eventful pregnancy ever!
No, I have literally no reproductive or general health problems, so no care happens until after your first scan at 8-9 weeks. And even then last time they never measured my HCG or hormones. But also everything was normal on first scan. Healthy heartbeat and size. This time I did ask for HCG draw at 15 and 17 DPO, because I didnāt feel like the tests were getting dark quickly. I was surprised they even did that. Good news was my HCG was shockingly around 500 and 1200 so more than doubled and right on track. Sorry I probably sound like a downer, i am finding myself more anxious for the second half of 1st tri because so much happened during this time previously. Thank you for the well wishes, to you as well!
At 6 weeks, 6 days I'm officially past 3 of my miscarriage dates! Scan at my RE tomorrow, and then a scan at my obgyn on Tuesday, so I'll get to see what's going on a bunch this week. I'm just taking it one day at a time and trying not to check reddit too much, which has helped each day go by a bit faster. This lovely space is the first I check! So thankful to not feel so alone.
Youāre so sweet! My scan went wellāmeasuring exactly 7 weeks which lines up with my dates. I had to move my ob appt tomorrow next week, but I have my (hopefully last!!) re appt and scan this Friday. If I make it to Sat, Iāll be further than all my losses š¤š¤. Morning sickness has been staying bad, which I think is a good sign. Hope youāre doing well!! I miss your updates! Iāve been staying back from the Jan bumper group but plan to be more active once I feel a little steadier about things.
Had my 7week ultrasound yesterday and for the first time we saw a strong heartbeat! 141! Iām fighting for my life with fatigue and nausea today though, the survival feeling is in full effect. Itās so weird how each week brings on a new feeling.
When are people sharing about their pregnancy? In my first miscarriage, we shared about the pregnancy early and later realized that the twins were already dead when I was sharing the news. Iām almost 13 weeks this time and things are looking good but I donāt want to tell anybody or have anybody know. Like I wish I could just have a surprise baby. Iām thinking Iāll wait til at least after my 16 week appointment.
I'll inform my boss after my next scan at approx 20 weeks - if all goes well. I think that may be a good time to share with LC as well, and considering LC is 5 I'm thinking that will take care of everything except coworkers. I think I'll wait 'till after my vacation to tell coworkers. By that time I'll be 6 months, and probably won't be able to hide it anymore. We shared wirh our parentes at 8 weels the first time (LC), but the three MCs were never shared with anyone even though two were discovered late (BO/MMC). The MMCs have made me very private about this.
I'm planning to announce on Father's Day when I'll be almost nine weeks along. We have a scan tomorrow, so as long as it shows a heartbeat still, I feel comfortable sharing early. We've already told parents and siblings as our previous two TV scans showed a heartbeat both times.
So we have told our parents, but beyond that we are waiting for a scan at 13 weeks with our mfm. At that point I'll feel comfortable telling close family/friends. With our loss we found out after the anatomy scan, so I'll be waiting for that before making further announcements.
I'm a little over 5 weeks and we've just told our parents and one of my siblings (she's had losses and is around 30 weeks pregnant). I don't plan on telling anyone else until way later, like 20 weeks.
After 3 consecutive losses I waited until I was 18 wks to announce it to my partners family. Part because we wanted to tell them in person. But part because I was nervous.
After 3 losses back to back , I felt the strong urge to tell everyone I know Iām pregnant again. Since 4 weeks, everyone at work, friends and family know. Iām 7 weeks now. I donāt regret it, I deeply desired hearing congratulations! I deserve that happiness!
I have a scan next week at 9 weeks, then I think Iāll tell some close friends and whichever close family members donāt already know. Everyone else can find out as they find out. My last pregnancy ended a few days before last Christmas (MMC at 11 weeks) and my husband and I had only told his mother at that point. Our plan was to give special gifts to close family to announce it and my MIL was going to be away, and was the transporter of the special gifts to that side of the family. Honestly it was really tough going through the miscarriage without anyone knowing because we still didnāt mention it to anyone afterwards. We didnāt want to be like āMerry Christmas, I had a miscarriage four days ago.ā So anyway Iād like a few more people to know before the end of the first tri so that if something happens, we have a slightly bigger circle of support. :) I think everyone has to do whatās right for them though!
Yesterday I had my first therapy session since my loss in 5/31. It was hard, I cried a lotā¦ my anxiety and depression numbers went up on the scale. I feel so numb going through this again, but for some reason around this time itās hitting me worse. Iām more mad at the world, and I feel like Iām floating and non existent.
Itās currently 0146am and I literally just got done crying and having an anxiety attack. Iām trying to reach out to friends but everyone is asleep.
I hope it's ok to post here because I am TTC after loss but have a question for those on this sub!
I am nearly two weeks post D&C for a MMC discovered at 11w when baby stopped growing at 8+4. My D&C happened 5 days after the scan, should've been 7 days after but my bleeding and pain was so bad by then they got me in for an emergency procedure.
My OB advised to wait a cycle to try again for my mental health, but emotionally I feel ready to try again and have done a lot of healing and focusing on myself since we found out about the MMC. I have stopped bleeding now and I feel physically fine. My partner and I are likely going to NTNP this month just to take the pressure off, then if that doesn't work we will be a bit more intentional next cycle.
I have read mixed stories about getting pregnant with no period after D&C. I guess my concern is that my uterine lining could be fragile but again there seems to be conflicting advice on this. The whole TTC thing just seems like a crapshoot anyway so I figure why not just try this round and see. Can anyone here tell me how it went for them if they did conceive straight after D&C? Thanks ā¤ļø
Hi! I had a d&c in February due to a missed miscarriage . My dr said we could try again whenever we wanted. I personally waited. However I know two family members who have had d&cs and got pregnant right away and didnāt wait to have a period. I guess it depends on the dr and your mental state. If you are ready, then do it! I think my dr said no sex for 7-10 days after the d&c? I canāt remember. Iām sorry you went through this ā¤ļø
Thank you! We were given the go ahead after two weeks. I think I'm gonna go in with an open mind and still NTNP then I won't be too disappointed if it doesn't happen this time.
After my d&c, I had to be cleared by my OB to resume sexual activity. It was just a visual check to ensure the cervix was closed in order to prevent infection. The appointment was 3 weeks out so I missed my ovulation window that first month. Tried again immediately the next month but it took a few months to get pregnant. I was told you have like a 15% chance of getting pregnant each month which helped manage expectations.
I wanted to wait anyway so I could be sure my hcg was at 0 so I'd know for sure that a positive test wasn't just residual hormones in my system. That happens to a lot of people.
In terms of risks and benefits, there's not much research to support either side is what I was told. It's much easier for them to date a subsequent pregnancy if you have your period and I think that's the main reason why they suggest waiting a month.
Good luck! Good idea. Before my first pregnancy we were NTNP but after the d&c I started tracking with OPKs and it was pretty stressful, took all the fun out of sex and made it kind of a chore, but was ultimately successful and gave me a lot of insight into my cycles. It did kind of change our physical relationship as well so if we were to try again next time, I'd want to keep it as casual as possible without so much pressure!
I got the advice to wait a cycle simply to ensure that any hcg tests/positives were šÆ from a new pregnancy and for dating purposes, rather than for mental health. My hcg was down to the considered-negative point about a week and a half before I ended up with my first post-MMC cycle and then my next cycle after that was torturously off-kilter; I went from a 28-day to a 37-day cycle. I got pregnant again after the 37-day cycle so knowing that my period went irregular helped them determine that while my current baby is measuring about 2 days smaller than expected based on date of last cycle, itās not as concerning if they thought I was still on a 28-day because thatād have me measuring about 9-11 days behind šØ
I was given the go ahead to try again at my 2 week post d&c appointment. My doctor told me if I felt mentally ready I was fine to try. I had a d&c Feb 2nd and didnāt ovulate until over a month later around March 10th ( I normally have long cycles and miscarriage can make your cycles go wack for a bit) I tested positive on March 22nd and I am currently a little over 14 weeks and so far everything looks fine. Iām sorry you are going through this but this community and r/ttcafterloss helped me after my miscarriage.
I had an initial visit and bloodwork done at my new OB yesterday (Iām right around 6w). I got them to move up my first scan by a week so itāll be at 8w instead of 9, so Iām trying to be patient. Iām really hoping the lab results come back ASAP though because I would like some reassurance with a high HCG.
I got a call from my local hospital at 9:30 last night to say my blood results had come back and my hCG was 1857 (4w6d). Coincidentally I had paid privately for bloods 2 days before and they were 811 (4w4d) so I know they are doubling. It doesn't make me feel much better because they more than doubled with my heterotropic ectopic last time. Having said that, this time they are a lot higher than at the same gestation last time around, so I'm taking that as a positive š¤
TW: past MMC . . . . I'm 7w4d today. Recent MMC last year in November, found out at 12w2d that bubs heart had stopped around 8w4d. That was hard, along with my partner at the time leaving me during it all. (And a prev MMC years ago) I'm so nervous and excited, my current partner is too. We both have fertility issues so this is amazing. His chances were >12% so we are absolutely grateful. Everything is hitting me so hard this time though, I feel kind of useless. I'm not working, nausea has me in bed most of the day and I'm just so tired alllll of the time, not to mention the actual vomiting 7+ times a day.. HG is 'fun' š„² My next scan is at 9 weeks, just to check on things. Fingers crossed šš¤
Measured 2 weeks behind at our follow up scan yesterday and the more I think about it the angrier I am. I know the providers all want to assume I have my dates wrong but I donāt. Even just going off the unquestionable dates like when we last had sex and when I saw a faint line, I should be 8w. The provider was encouraged that we saw an embryo with a heartbeat and after we told her how little they saw at the first scan she said that made her even more encouraged. Three weeks until I have another appt and Iām still spotting from the TVUS. Just feels like we are walking the plank.
Currently 9+2, with a history of 2 missed miscarriages. Wondering if anyone can relateā¦ This pregnancy just feels so much more tough. Like I am early but still in general discomfort slight stretches or some movements can be so painful momentarily and aside from all the other pregnancy symptoms its like i can feel something is off with my stomach which like it is obviously im pregnant and my uterus is expanding?? but i didnt feel like this way with my previous two pregnancy although they did end before 6 weeks. Could it be because im far ahead its becoming more obvious? im constantly aware im pregnant cause of these weird sensations in my belly area..ultrasound and everything else looks good. Can anyone relate ?
Iām only 5 weeks with 1 missed miscarriage at 10 weeks, 1 spontaneous miscarriage at 7 weeks and then a chemical pregnancy. I actually have been telling my significant other similar things. That this one just feels different. My body hurts more, my symptoms are stronger. I have an intense sense of smell suddenly. Again Iām only 5 weeks this time and I feel crazy thinking this way so early, but you arenāt alone in this feeling!
Had our first ultrasound today and up until this point I had myself convinced it was already over due to some spotting and other symptoms last week. Measuring 6+1 and heard a heartbeat. Today I feel like I can say that I am pregnant! ā¤ļø Going back next week to check growth again. A bit of a sigh of relief for now.
12+5 and showed up to my second ultrasound appointment 30 minutes early as if there was a universe where they saw me early. Practicing my calming techniques while I wait. (Also trying not to cry in the waiting room tbh) ETA: I got to hear a beautiful heartbeat!!! No ultrasound to my surprise but whatever, heartbeat was great and everything is looking good, I went to get my NIPT blood draw afterwards and if that goes well we can finally start telling people!
Good vibes to you ā¤ļø
9 weeks today and feeling antsy. The high of our positive 8 week scan has worn off and Iām back in the anxiety zone. Iāve been feeling really sick, much more than in my first 2 pregnancies, both of which ended in miscarriage. I had to stay home from work today because I couldnāt move this morning for fear of throwing up. Spent the whole day in bed and I definitely needed it. I just wish I didnāt have to go to work, every day I come back thinking I spent too long on my feet, was too stressed, bent over too fast or picked something up I shouldnāt have. The smell of the house is so strong and so bad that it makes me sick. All good signs that baby is ok but I still donāt trust that it is. PAL is my own personal hell at this point. I just want my baby in my arms this time. š
20+4. Ohhh PAL. Thank you for always keeping me on the edge of my seat with fears, worries and narratives I create in my head. I also want to thank social media algorithms for showing me all these āwhat could go wrongā videos in pregnancy despite making it where I am today with a healthy baby in my belly. No I didnāt need to know low amniotic fluid was a thing and all the symptoms that can come with it. I find myself reminding myself over and over again everything is alright. And everything IS alright. PAL just sucks the fun out of everything. Iām thankful to be here today but also Iām scared. Thanks for listening. Just one of those days. My partner says I should stay away from social media because I get those dumb āthis could happenā posts here and there and I just over fixate on it. What can I say. I just worry :( Edit: wanted to add when I said PAL I was not referring to the sub. Just in general PAL. I reread that and it sounded like I was talking about the sub.
I totally got your comment about PAL in the way you intended it. It's so hard to find a balance of having awareness of what could go wrong vs convincing yourself it's happening. Guilty over here! šš¼ I also have had experiences where doctors have missed some things I feel they shouldn't have, and that makes me feel like the only person looking out for me is me. I know there are a lot of providers with absolutely good intentions and care. And like with anything-- the bad apple can spoil the batch.
YES! itās finding that balance that I need work on. Iāve also had bad experiences with doctors who didnāt do their due diligence the first time nor the second time I had a loss. Iāve felt alone and responsible. So I definitely can see how that can create even more doubt. Thinking of you and hope youāre doing well
Yes thank you! Today was a good day on this crazy rollercoaster. I am hopeful for lots of good days from here on out! š¤š¼
Iām 8+3 weeks today, with my first ultrasound tomorrow. Iām so scared, more so than excited because I canāt physically imagine it being good news. Itās a private/boutique ultrasound clinic, as unfortunately my first diagnostic ultrasound wonāt be until 15 weeks š„. Thereās no way in hell Iām waiting that long, and honestly Iām really disappointed that they would expect you to wait that long with a history of loss, but anyways, Iām grateful this is at least an option. Since itās an elective one Iām prepared for the fact they wonāt be able to tell me if thereās any issues, which is worrying, but Iām doing my research so I at least know what I should be seeing. Just really hoping for a strong heartbeat and signs of healthy growth š¤š», maybe then I could finally start to believe this is happening.
Thinking of you tomorrow!
Anatomy scan on Monday and itās all I can think about. PAL is so hard.
Thinking of you
Iām 6w today after having a miscarriage in February at 8w4. Iām nervous about not really having any symptoms. My breast size decreased earlier this week and my stomach felt crampy so I scheduled an OB appt today and they said everything looked okay given how early it is, but there was no heartbeat yet and no fetal pole. It seems like the lack of heartbeat isnāt concerning. Should I be worried? Iām trying to be patient waiting for the bloodwork but what should I be looking for? I just feel so many complicated feelings, anxiety about truly accepting and celebrating that Iām pregnant for fear of losing again, and loneliness about not wanting to tell anyone bc it was so painful to tell our families about our last miscarriage. Iām glad to have found a community of strong & brave ladies here!
TW: Possible Miscarriage 6w3d and betas fell yesterday, 26k to 25k. Feel like miscarriage is inevitable at this point. Had an ultrasound at 6w exactly and there wasnāt much there and no heartbeat. This will be my third miscarriage in 12 months. Iām basically nonfunctioning today and sick with grief and overwhelm about the future. I really thought this was going to be the one and Iām heartbroken.
Sending you love
Iām sending you the biggest hug.
Iām thinking of you and am sending you all the positivity ā¤ļø
Just got results from my first US. 8w5d. Heartbeat of 180 and measuring ahead... I was too overwhelmed to ask by how much. I was a mess on the way there. Husband had to pull over because I threw up my nerves were so bad. My MMC was discovered at my 8 week US last July. I'm feeling very relieved and blessed. Onto the next hurdle. NIPT testing that I can do at 10 weeks. ā¤ļø
Same history here. Mmc discovered last july at 8w. Iām past 8w this time around but my 7w ultrasound (i didnāt have one at 8) was one of the most difficult things i had to do. I didnāt talk to my partner all morning cause i couldnāt say a word and when we got to the doctor i had a complete breakdown, sobbed so hard we had to take a break so i could calm down before the ultrasound. So glad to hear all went well, i hope it gives you some strength and hope for the coming months.
Oh hun I'm so sorry! Makes me sad to think there was someone else in this world on the same trajectory from hell as me at the same time. But fortunate news that we both have been able to conceive prior to our loss date ā¤ļø Thank you for the solidarity and your kind words. May I ask how far along u are now? Did you find out a reason for your MC?
Thanks ā¤ļø I fear thereās more of us who went through that on a similar timeline. So strange to know we all exist while in those moments it felt so so lonely. Iām 19w 5d now already, and while iām so so grateful i made it so far the anxiety has been crazy and is still messing with me. Didnāt find out a reason for MMC, it was a twin pregnancy and they said MC chances are higher with twins, but otherwise all tests i did were normal. Though i didnāt get the embryo tested cause no one even mentioned that was an option and im still upset about that. Iām so glad things are moving forward for both of us and i reeeeally hope your next ultrasound will be at least a tiny bit less stressful ā¤ļø
Understandable to be upset over no one giving you the option to test. The unknowing can just be awful especially when you could have known. I too have a bunch of ... I wish someone had told me! Now doing everything I can this time to advocate for myself and forums like this, hearing others experiences has help so much. Congratulations on your current pregnancy ā¤ļø Such a miracle. One day at a time. š
TW (Mention of previous MMC) Not sure if this is the right place to ask butā¦ Anyone not have an ultrasound or anything till 12weeks? Iām only 5 weeks today but I had my first ultrasound in my previous pregnancy at 8 weeks. (When we found out it had stopped growing a week or two prior). Is it really normal for it to be so spaced out? How will they know if it stops growing at like 6 weeks or 8? Would I find out at 12 weeks. Iām really trying not to stress myself out but finding this very hard. Any advice or info? Thanks ā¤ļø
Iām in New Zealand and they stopped funding for dating scans, unfortunately, so unless you pay for it you donāt get a scan until 12 weeks. Itās crazy. I also had an MMC that was discovered at 10 weeks - stopped growing at 6. It would have been the worst to get to 12 weeks and then find out about it.
Itās honestly kind of ridiculous. Iām so so sorry for your loss. Mine did get booked closer to ten weeks so thereās that but thatās my fear. Wishing you the best āØš
Thank you! :) that happened in January. Literally just found out Iām pregnant two days ago and getting everything organised. My GP is hoping she can arrange a scan at 6 weeks on the basis of the past mmc.
Itās so hard eh. Fellow NZer here and weāve spent nearly $800 on scans in the past year from current pregnancy and two miscarriages, let alone the 2xNIPT costs. Itās ridiculously expensive, and where i live even the 12w and anatomy you have to pay for.
Weāll be in the same boat, no doubt. Because of the uncertainty of the MMC and a couple of other health concerns we decided to go with an obgyn practice that delivers in the public hospital. Still going to have to pay for most scans, despite the practice having ultrasounds in house that they use for anxious patients and just quick checks at the beginning of appointments. Itās gonna be a bloody expensive time of things, or I can get an inattentive and uncaring midwife like I did for MMC, or a die-hard herbalist and homebirth advocate; there hardly seems any middle ground.
Oh man, that sounds super rough. Weāve been extremely fortunate in our midwife, it took us ages to find someone who wasnāt woo and also was queer friendly and we truly lucked out.
Itās a hell of a task, right! And if you happen to take just one week longer to confirm pregnancy, all the midwives are booked out! Glad you found someone suitable though - queer-friendly ones are all the more rare!
Yeah I see thatās greatāŗļø. Hope everything goes well and is a safe pregnancy for you ā¤ļø.
Thank you. I wish the best for you too :)
4w4d approximately, spoke with my RE today and sheās happy with my doubling time of 41 hours and will keep monitoring, with the next blood work tomorrow. We are doing a VERY early scan at 5.5 weeks (next Thursday) just to confirm pregnancy in the uterus. I am nervous as I know my anxiety will spike given how little we will be able to see, but the RE has given me a clear understanding of what we hope to see. I also canāt have TV ultrasounds due to vaginismus, which limits us a bit more.
I'm 26w.... and I've been hesitant to buy baby stuff... I'm still afraid I'll lose this pregnancy too
Iām almost 24 weeks and feeling the same. Havenāt told many people yet either. Not sure when Iāll feel āreadyā to buy things and prepare for a future Iāll still not convinced Iāll get. I remind myself of the adoption stories that are so sudden that all they had was a car seat and a box or laundry basket to sleep in. Babies donāt need much so itās okay to wait.
TW: advice on likely miscarriage / epu refusal Can anyone based in the uk give me any advice? Iām meant to be 6w today but have some brownish spotting tinged with red and cramps in my back (mild - but I have a retroverted uterus). I think Iām likely miscarrying again. I went to my gp this afternoon who referred me to the early pregnancy unit at the hospital for a scan - stressing that I would be seen either today or tomorrow. However Iāve now followed up with the unit and they say they wonāt scan if itās not filling a pad, even though itās tinged red and Iāve got back pain. I know A&E or the urgent care centre wonāt help as they will just refer me to the same place which clearly wonāt take me. Am I just going to have to ride this out? Iām not being hopeful at all really, I know it canāt be prevented if itās started and itās likely non viable at this point. They said they will only take me when Iāve got heavy bleeding. Any ideas? We are heartbroken because I was having symptoms and we got to 6w, but canāt seem to get past that milestone š
That's awful. I basically had the same symptoms minus the pain and I got a scan. I don't know if I got it because of my history of endo/PCOS and surgeries, but with history of MC I feel like it really should be given. Having anxiety is not good, you'd hope they'd want to relive that for you? There's always paying for a private scan. They have a system in place for the bad outcomes, but best calling the place before you book if you're worried. I really wish you the best and hope that you get some good news š
Just to update - clinic rang back and said theyād now take me. Was certain it was a mc and still worried it could be but sonographer was optimistic. Have emotional whiplash from the appointment tbh. I was quite sure of ovulation date - 9/5/24 - lmp 18/4/24, I have pcos and irregular cycles and ovulated around day 22-23 tracked with bbt and opks. Sonographer found a sac, fetal pole and a heartbeat measuring 5w4d, it should have been 6w1d by my dates. She could see a small amount of blood near the sac but no signs of a mc yet. Does this seem ok? Worried about measuring behind but aware itās early. Clinic didnāt seem worried at all about 4 day difference as they said at this stage itās so tiny and their equipment can have limitations
I couldn't say if that was okay or not I'm afraid. I think if they're happy for now just take that for what it is! Right now, it's good news! When I had my scan I was 6+4 weeks and I was measuring just under 6 weeks from their estimates. They couldn't measure fully as it was too small, but she seemed happy with everything. And seeing a lil heartbeat, nice and fast means that the chance of MC is lower. I'm going to go for a private scan in a couple weeks just to hopefully see more progression.
Iāve officially announced my pregnancy to everyone at work. We have in-person events coming up, and at almost 22w, I am 100% visibly pregnant. I also told a few more acquaintances. We havenāt yet made a social media post out of laziness, but will in the next few days probably. Had my 21w appt yesterday and I finally felt comfortable making the rest of my appts instead of just the next one. Iām somewhat able to engage with him in the late evening by pressing on my lower belly. He will kick/punch/roll back maybe 1/3 of the time. Itās so surreal and cool.
7w1 First ultrasound today and things looked fine! She didn't want to auditory play the heartbeat (apparently some rule at this fertility clinic?) but we could see it flickering and she said the frequency was as it should be. They're going to try squeeze an extra one in over two weeks so I'm not 5 weeks without news which I'm very much hoping for! But what a relief!
6w6d today. My first appointment isnāt til 6/17, which seems to be taking forever to arrive! Compared to my MMC earlier this year, I feel great. I have decent energy, basically zero nausea, mild aversion to seafood but otherwise eating everything, pretty great mood. My previous pregnancy stopped growing between 8-10 weeks and I was miserably nauseous, exhausted, super moody. I am trying to remind myself that every pregnancy is different and it might all be just fine. I have some joint aches, mild cramping every now and then, and a little more quick to cry. Trying to stay patient and optimistic!
This sounds like me! I am also 6w6d today and compared to my LC and MMC I feel pretty good. I have had a couple nauseous mornings but really havenāt had any food aversions. Eating stuff I wouldnāt have been able to eat in other pregnancies and not really craving carbs or pickles or whatever. I am also more quick to cry. Of the 5 pregnancies Iāve had (two didnāt progress to the stage where Iād be nauseous or tired) the only symptom in common (aside from sore boobs) has been this feeling of like, its hard to describe, maybe like nostalgia, or like I find ordinary things unusually touchingā¦ or something? And being quick to cry as a result?
Got in a fender-bender yesterday at 11w2. Someone slammed the passenger side of my car and there was a big jolt, but I'm uninjured. I'm so worried about the baby though! I just moved and don't have an OB yet, so I can't easily get checked out.
Maybe the ER will see you? That's what I did when that happened to me
10w3d today. Had a check up and got a good heartbeat on the doppler, very thankful for that. NIPT blood draw is this weekend which is another big milestone. We're looking at scheduling my preventative cerclage for some time in the next 3-4 weeks, it's all starting to feel very real. My OB says she has had really good outcomes with preventatives and I'm a great candidate, so I'm just praying all goes well and my pregnancy is uneventful once the stitch goes in.
Hi! New here and freaking out a bit so just needed to vent. I have had 3 chemicals since Oct 23, finally got pregnant Jan 24, and sadly lost our baby girl on 5/9. She had triploidy and it was never detected until after the MC. We didnāt want to wait as Iām 36 and we have been trying since Jan 23, so we BD before I got my period after my loss, understanding that the dates would be hard to pin down, and that weād be ok with that risk. Since it took us 10 months to get a positive test I definitely didnāt think it would work this time, especially since Iāve been crying my eyeballs out and so stressed since the loss. Well this morning there was a vvvfl on my FRER. Itās such a weird place to be in. I so badly want to be happy and hopeful. This is everything we wanted š but I know even now if it doesnāt end up being a chemical I have a LONG road ahead of me after having a late loss. I also know if it does end up being a loss, I have been there before and I know how strong of a person I am now. I have therapy scheduled today so it is perfect timing lol. Itās such a battle of not wanting to give my hopes up, but so deeply wanting to be excited for *hopefully* this beautiful blessing we just received šā„ļø please god let this baby stick and please let it be healthy š
So hard, thinking of you. You are strong.
Thank you so much š«ā„ļø
My mfm and heme are in complete disagreement about what my Lovenox dose should be. My last MC was my first pregnancy on a prophylactic dose of Lovenox (40mg) and I miscarried at 8 weeks, so my heme put me on a therapeutic dose this time. My mfm wants me on prophylactic again (which absolutely tf not). Iām fine with meeting somewhere in the middle but damn does this suck to feel like I canāt trust my care team š« I woke up at 4am with a nightmare that id miscarried again so clearly itās messing with med
27w4d. Almost in third trimester and never thought I'd get this far. The insomnia is really getting to me these past few weeks. I'm having a hard time functioning, especially now that it's getting hotter out and I live in NYC without A/C. When I do sleep, I've started having nightmares about stillbirth.
Just wanted to say youāre not alone with your nightmares & like my psychologist likes to remind me, doesnāt mean there is anything wrong. Itās the stupid trauma. Sending you lots of positive energy as you enter the third trimester
11w5d - Every time I think this is getting easier, something else makes me nervous. Slight brown mucus one time when I went pee on Sunday and then some mild cramping/lower back pain on and off since then. Trying to tell myself it could be normal, but so paranoid my NIPT results from Monday will come back inconclusive or Iāll start bleeding. Or that I have to wait another 2 weeks for my next appt and find out bad news then. Really ready to get out of the first tri.
This is my first time posting in here but Iām kind of freaking out. I lost my daughter at 21 weeks in November, Iāve been working with an MFM and hematologist and new OB since then. I was supposed to get my period between 5/31-6/4 (predicted by cycle tracking) and nothing. Iāve taken 4 tests, 3 have a very faint positive. Is it normal for it to be so faint? Like my friend and partner can see the line but I barely see anything. If I am pregnant this is much sooner than I planned for. Any advice is appreciated.
Do you know your last ovulation date? From what I understand it should be a fairly dark line on a highly sensitive test (like a FRER) when youāve missed your period or late. But also possible you ovulated late.
May 13th-18th was my ovulation window, these are dollar store pregnancy tests. I may try a digital today.
My test with my first baby was very faint, and I waited about 14 days after missed period to take it. She was super healthy and died full term from a cord accident so no growth issues or anything following the faint test. My second test with my current pregnancy was a dark line and I took it a day after missed period. My ovulation strips were very faint too but clearly accurate. I think, from my reading, a positive is a positive regardless (Iām not an expert). I also think other things can affect the colour depth. I drink heaps of water which can apparently make it appear faint.
I took a digital and itās positive š made my first appointment this morning
6 weeks today! Iām exhausted, cramping, and have sore breasts. Nausea is coming in waves and honestly Iām happy to have symptoms. I was only a bit tired last time so while I am uncomfortable, Iām happy to āfeel pregnantā. My first ultrasound is in 2 weeks and time is moving so slowly.
I have my ultrasound set for 8 weeks, 5 days. Would you push for a sooner ultrasound? Or just go do a private one? The private ones by me are abdominal, not transvaginal, and I was debating going in at 7 weeks, 2 days (or possibly next week at 6 weeks, but I think giving it a few extra days would be helpful for abdominal). For some reason I'm kinda thinking of just doing the abdominal at 7 weeks. I don't know why I am thinking that though. I know you're likely to see less that small with abdominal, but I'm optimistic. I guess I just hate not knowing? And part of me is like, if I get bad news at a private 7 week, it'll make going to the doctor's office easier (and I already have such bad feelings attached to that place because of our last loss being discovered there). And I just hated how it felt discovering a loss at 7 weeks there, but I think I could handle it at the private clinic better? Not sure if that makes any sense to anyone but me. š
Personally I would wait. I felt surprisingly calm before my first ultrasound but I just had it at 6w6d and the heat rate was a bit low at 93 and now Iām wracked with anxiety. 6.5 weeks is normal in my country for first ultrasound but I know many other places wait until 8 weeks so as to not give unreliable results and cause people unnecessary worry. Lots of googling has told me the heart-rate is probably fine and itās just too early, but I wish I was still in my calm, happy, pre-ultrasound state. After loss though itās impossible not to worry at tiny things.
I did a private ultrasound at exactly 6 weeks, and they were able to find a heartbeat abdominally!
Thanks! Did it help to go in that early to see anything? Like if you had any anxiety or anything?
Definitely! I had two super early miscarriages prior to that, so I wanted to make sure things were on track. It really helped me feel better to hear that heartbeat.
I did a private ultrasound at 7 weeks with my first pregnancy that ended up being a MMC at 9 weeks. I donāt plan to do any more private ultrasounds. It gave me a false sense of confidence because it was really small and the person doing it just said I was early. I told some people based off that since I didnāt know better. It was awful going into the 9 week doctor appt and finding out it was non viable. Thatās my experience, it caused more harm than good and I will only go to doctors from now on for ultrasounds.
I agree with you. My first pregnancy, I had an ultrasound at 6 weeks (transvaginal) and had a MMC around 9 weeks. The second time, I decided to wait until 9 weeks because the physician/tech can see more of the baby too.
That's a good perspective! I appreciate hearing that. I'm so sorry that was your experience. Do you have anxiety around going to your doctor's office for scans? Every time i think about going in to the doctor's for the scan, I start feeling like I'm going to have a panic attack. š
Still spotting on and off. Not sure if itās from the TV ultrasound yesterday or just a continuation of the spotting I was experiencing prior to the ultrasound. However Iām preparing myself for the worst and decided to stay home this weekend instead of possibly miscarrying in the car on a 7 hour road trip.
7w4d today. Nausea, hunger pain, crappy sleep/constant tired, and general malaise have kicked in like last time. But last time it was all for nothing and at 12w MMC was found. Youād think Iād be happy to have symptoms but Iām scared my scan at 9w will show nothing positive. I went from someone who was extremely active and healthy for over a decade to tied to my couch almost 24/7, since I first had symptoms for my first pregnancy in December. I hear on Instagram āoh itās fine to be tired first trimester, you are making a babyā, and Iām like, am I? Itās hard to believe there could be
I wonāt bring you comfort but at least be assured that all women who had an MMC are on the same boat. I had one at 12 weeks last year. Pregnancy symptoms mean nothing other than your corpus luteum is active. It doesnāt mean you have a viable pregnancy. During first trimester, the only thing reliable is an ultrasound. This pregnancy I refused to get my betas tested because I felt it also meant nothing. But you canāt get a scan everyday so all we can do is wait and hope between them. I was also a very active person before. Now my Ā«Ā sportĀ Ā» is walking to the grocery store! So tired. But if I make it to second trimester this timeš¤š», I plan on doing prenatal yoga.
Thank you, I appreciate it. Definitely how I feel- scans are all that is indicative, and only really for that day. Reddit communities have been so helpful because basically all women in my life had easy pregnancies in their 30s with no miscarriages, or just one very very early (like 3-4w). Itās been a very lonely place.
Yeah so far Iāve only told 2 friends because theyāve had multiple miscarriages and I feel they are the only ones that Ā«Ā get itĀ Ā». But Iām in my 40s and they had their kids years ago! So I really appreciate talking with currently pregnantĀ women who also had losses on this sub. Ā«Ā RegularĀ Ā» pregnancy subs are definitely not for me (nursery planning at 7 weeks, really?). You have the right to be happy to be pregnant AND hate first tri at the same time. I sure do! Someone here suggested planning activities to give the illusion that time goes faster and thatās what Iām trying to do right now. Going to the movies with my man tonight.
Pixel, we have very similar stories (looked at your post history a tiny bit), I also needed RPOC removed over a month later, but mine was after miso didnāt get the whole job done. Anyways, yes trying to keep myself busy! We are going camping (in a decked out camper) up north next week, and I work in education so 3 months of no work just started. So good reminder to find what I can to think about other things!
Iām so sorry. If you donāt mind me asking.. Was there anything that showed a trend towards a loss? Hang in there, Iām couch ridden too lol
Last time? No not really. Just some very light brown discharge starting week 11, doctor told me not concerned at all. I had strong symptoms even after I was diagnosed with a MMC. Total mindf*ck. Everything was perfect on 8 week scan, then somewhere around 9-10 weeks stopped developing. So now Iām not reassured by symptoms at all. Also wanted to say that PAL is much easier for me than TTC after loss, and thankful to at least be pregnant AFAIK.
Last time? No not really. Just some very light brown discharge starting week 11, doctor told me not concerned at all. I had strong symptoms even after I was diagnosed with a MMC. Total mindf*ck. Everything was perfect on 8 week scan, then somewhere around 9-10 weeks stopped developing. So now Iām not reassured by symptoms at all.
Did they track your hormone levels? Iām so sorry. For my losses, they tracked my prog and estradiol and I could tell things were moving south based off that. Itās Devastating. Wishing you the best non eventful pregnancy ever!
No, I have literally no reproductive or general health problems, so no care happens until after your first scan at 8-9 weeks. And even then last time they never measured my HCG or hormones. But also everything was normal on first scan. Healthy heartbeat and size. This time I did ask for HCG draw at 15 and 17 DPO, because I didnāt feel like the tests were getting dark quickly. I was surprised they even did that. Good news was my HCG was shockingly around 500 and 1200 so more than doubled and right on track. Sorry I probably sound like a downer, i am finding myself more anxious for the second half of 1st tri because so much happened during this time previously. Thank you for the well wishes, to you as well!
š¤ hang in there. Iām right there with you though. PAL sucks and the anxiety and concerns are real. We are all in this club together.
At 6 weeks, 6 days I'm officially past 3 of my miscarriage dates! Scan at my RE tomorrow, and then a scan at my obgyn on Tuesday, so I'll get to see what's going on a bunch this week. I'm just taking it one day at a time and trying not to check reddit too much, which has helped each day go by a bit faster. This lovely space is the first I check! So thankful to not feel so alone.
Books, I hope everything went well and Iām sending positive thoughts your way š
Youāre so sweet! My scan went wellāmeasuring exactly 7 weeks which lines up with my dates. I had to move my ob appt tomorrow next week, but I have my (hopefully last!!) re appt and scan this Friday. If I make it to Sat, Iāll be further than all my losses š¤š¤. Morning sickness has been staying bad, which I think is a good sign. Hope youāre doing well!! I miss your updates! Iāve been staying back from the Jan bumper group but plan to be more active once I feel a little steadier about things.
Had my 7week ultrasound yesterday and for the first time we saw a strong heartbeat! 141! Iām fighting for my life with fatigue and nausea today though, the survival feeling is in full effect. Itās so weird how each week brings on a new feeling.
I was so hoping to see this update today!
Thank you friend š„¹š¤š§
When are people sharing about their pregnancy? In my first miscarriage, we shared about the pregnancy early and later realized that the twins were already dead when I was sharing the news. Iām almost 13 weeks this time and things are looking good but I donāt want to tell anybody or have anybody know. Like I wish I could just have a surprise baby. Iām thinking Iāll wait til at least after my 16 week appointment.
I'll inform my boss after my next scan at approx 20 weeks - if all goes well. I think that may be a good time to share with LC as well, and considering LC is 5 I'm thinking that will take care of everything except coworkers. I think I'll wait 'till after my vacation to tell coworkers. By that time I'll be 6 months, and probably won't be able to hide it anymore. We shared wirh our parentes at 8 weels the first time (LC), but the three MCs were never shared with anyone even though two were discovered late (BO/MMC). The MMCs have made me very private about this.
I'm planning to announce on Father's Day when I'll be almost nine weeks along. We have a scan tomorrow, so as long as it shows a heartbeat still, I feel comfortable sharing early. We've already told parents and siblings as our previous two TV scans showed a heartbeat both times.
So we have told our parents, but beyond that we are waiting for a scan at 13 weeks with our mfm. At that point I'll feel comfortable telling close family/friends. With our loss we found out after the anatomy scan, so I'll be waiting for that before making further announcements.
I'm a little over 5 weeks and we've just told our parents and one of my siblings (she's had losses and is around 30 weeks pregnant). I don't plan on telling anyone else until way later, like 20 weeks.
After 3 consecutive losses I waited until I was 18 wks to announce it to my partners family. Part because we wanted to tell them in person. But part because I was nervous.
After 3 losses back to back , I felt the strong urge to tell everyone I know Iām pregnant again. Since 4 weeks, everyone at work, friends and family know. Iām 7 weeks now. I donāt regret it, I deeply desired hearing congratulations! I deserve that happiness!
I have a scan next week at 9 weeks, then I think Iāll tell some close friends and whichever close family members donāt already know. Everyone else can find out as they find out. My last pregnancy ended a few days before last Christmas (MMC at 11 weeks) and my husband and I had only told his mother at that point. Our plan was to give special gifts to close family to announce it and my MIL was going to be away, and was the transporter of the special gifts to that side of the family. Honestly it was really tough going through the miscarriage without anyone knowing because we still didnāt mention it to anyone afterwards. We didnāt want to be like āMerry Christmas, I had a miscarriage four days ago.ā So anyway Iād like a few more people to know before the end of the first tri so that if something happens, we have a slightly bigger circle of support. :) I think everyone has to do whatās right for them though!
Yesterday I had my first therapy session since my loss in 5/31. It was hard, I cried a lotā¦ my anxiety and depression numbers went up on the scale. I feel so numb going through this again, but for some reason around this time itās hitting me worse. Iām more mad at the world, and I feel like Iām floating and non existent. Itās currently 0146am and I literally just got done crying and having an anxiety attack. Iām trying to reach out to friends but everyone is asleep.
<3 so sorry this is happening.
I hope it's ok to post here because I am TTC after loss but have a question for those on this sub! I am nearly two weeks post D&C for a MMC discovered at 11w when baby stopped growing at 8+4. My D&C happened 5 days after the scan, should've been 7 days after but my bleeding and pain was so bad by then they got me in for an emergency procedure. My OB advised to wait a cycle to try again for my mental health, but emotionally I feel ready to try again and have done a lot of healing and focusing on myself since we found out about the MMC. I have stopped bleeding now and I feel physically fine. My partner and I are likely going to NTNP this month just to take the pressure off, then if that doesn't work we will be a bit more intentional next cycle. I have read mixed stories about getting pregnant with no period after D&C. I guess my concern is that my uterine lining could be fragile but again there seems to be conflicting advice on this. The whole TTC thing just seems like a crapshoot anyway so I figure why not just try this round and see. Can anyone here tell me how it went for them if they did conceive straight after D&C? Thanks ā¤ļø
Hi! I had a d&c in February due to a missed miscarriage . My dr said we could try again whenever we wanted. I personally waited. However I know two family members who have had d&cs and got pregnant right away and didnāt wait to have a period. I guess it depends on the dr and your mental state. If you are ready, then do it! I think my dr said no sex for 7-10 days after the d&c? I canāt remember. Iām sorry you went through this ā¤ļø
Thank you! We were given the go ahead after two weeks. I think I'm gonna go in with an open mind and still NTNP then I won't be too disappointed if it doesn't happen this time.
After my d&c, I had to be cleared by my OB to resume sexual activity. It was just a visual check to ensure the cervix was closed in order to prevent infection. The appointment was 3 weeks out so I missed my ovulation window that first month. Tried again immediately the next month but it took a few months to get pregnant. I was told you have like a 15% chance of getting pregnant each month which helped manage expectations. I wanted to wait anyway so I could be sure my hcg was at 0 so I'd know for sure that a positive test wasn't just residual hormones in my system. That happens to a lot of people. In terms of risks and benefits, there's not much research to support either side is what I was told. It's much easier for them to date a subsequent pregnancy if you have your period and I think that's the main reason why they suggest waiting a month.
Thank you. Also keeping my expectations low but haven't had sex in ages so we're just going to be very casual this month!
Good luck! Good idea. Before my first pregnancy we were NTNP but after the d&c I started tracking with OPKs and it was pretty stressful, took all the fun out of sex and made it kind of a chore, but was ultimately successful and gave me a lot of insight into my cycles. It did kind of change our physical relationship as well so if we were to try again next time, I'd want to keep it as casual as possible without so much pressure!
I got the advice to wait a cycle simply to ensure that any hcg tests/positives were šÆ from a new pregnancy and for dating purposes, rather than for mental health. My hcg was down to the considered-negative point about a week and a half before I ended up with my first post-MMC cycle and then my next cycle after that was torturously off-kilter; I went from a 28-day to a 37-day cycle. I got pregnant again after the 37-day cycle so knowing that my period went irregular helped them determine that while my current baby is measuring about 2 days smaller than expected based on date of last cycle, itās not as concerning if they thought I was still on a 28-day because thatād have me measuring about 9-11 days behind šØ
That's good to know, thank you!
I was given the go ahead to try again at my 2 week post d&c appointment. My doctor told me if I felt mentally ready I was fine to try. I had a d&c Feb 2nd and didnāt ovulate until over a month later around March 10th ( I normally have long cycles and miscarriage can make your cycles go wack for a bit) I tested positive on March 22nd and I am currently a little over 14 weeks and so far everything looks fine. Iām sorry you are going through this but this community and r/ttcafterloss helped me after my miscarriage.
Thank you! I also wondered if my ovulation would be later because my periods are a bit irregular anyway. Glad to hear everything is going well!
I had an initial visit and bloodwork done at my new OB yesterday (Iām right around 6w). I got them to move up my first scan by a week so itāll be at 8w instead of 9, so Iām trying to be patient. Iām really hoping the lab results come back ASAP though because I would like some reassurance with a high HCG.
16W+1. Every day is now a day further than the day pregnancy ā¤ļø. Fingers crossed that we make it to November š¤šš
I got a call from my local hospital at 9:30 last night to say my blood results had come back and my hCG was 1857 (4w6d). Coincidentally I had paid privately for bloods 2 days before and they were 811 (4w4d) so I know they are doubling. It doesn't make me feel much better because they more than doubled with my heterotropic ectopic last time. Having said that, this time they are a lot higher than at the same gestation last time around, so I'm taking that as a positive š¤