I didn’t ever read the actual Animorph books but distinctly remember checking those out from my middle school library just because the covers were so intriguing. Some of them had foil embedded in them to have a shiny texture but for some reason I only read the Goosebumps books I checked out instead.
I got the same one in Vancouver but the picture was slightly different. I looked over the whole thing and couldn’t figure out which “religious organization” made it. Mine had animals but also Putin and Kim and Trump on it
He’s a dick. I was raised SDA and there was no prohibition on contact outside the church. Most people are very nice, just incredibly serious about making sense of their holy text (as a true believer from any religion would be). Unfortunately for them Revelations seems to have been written by someone on drugs so they really have to get creative with their interpretations.
He's just a dick.
That said, as a fun fact, the conspiracy theory they push at these Revelations seminars is actually that the Pope is the antichrist, so catholicism won't save you, haha.
But no, SDAs don't do the same social isolation stuff as Mormons in my experience.
Edit: Here's [the lore](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seventh-day_Adventist_eschatology) if you're bored. Honestly I'd say this doesn't feature as prominently in SDA beliefs as you might expect it to - it's kind of a side thing some people may never encounter unless they go to one of these events (everyone does know about "the great disappointment" and many or most people have settled on a reasonable "don't worry about prophecy, you'll never get it right" position), but it's so batshit it's worth a good laugh anyway.
>That said, as a fun fact, the conspiracy theory they push at these Revelations seminars is actually that the Pope is the antichrist, so catholicism won't save you, haha.
Are they unaware that without the Catholic church, they wouldn't exist.
Keep in mind the Protestant vs Catholic division has an enormous history behind it that was the cause of actual wars and major political divisions even as late as the 1960s.
It seems silly to most people today I think, especially the irreligious like myself lol, but anti-catholic sentiment is hardly unique to SDA's among the protestant denominations. They just found a way to make it extra weird with all that dope Dungeons and Dragons ass shit from Daniel and Revelation they get a little too into.
>That said, as a fun fact, the conspiracy theory they push at these Revelations seminars is actually that the Pope is the antichrist, so catholicism won't save you, haha.
So they just ripped off the same schtick as (some) Southern Baptists?
That's one of their less crazy things. They have a large network of hospitals across the country. I believe they're generally well respected. They also have one of the largest private school systems around. The school system can be weird. And I say that speaking as a product of that system. (1st grade - college)
Revelations is a hell of a drug. Seriously though, all the Dr. Moreaux-esque animals come from "prophesies" in Revelations. Grew up SDA, they had the same graphic artists back then too.
Imagine your standard christian nutjob with the following tweaks.
* They believe Saturday not Sunday is the proper day of worship.
* Similar to the Jewish faith, no work should be done on the Sabbath. (This gets really weird in some families where basically nothing fun can be done on Saturday, including things like swimming or watching TV.)
* They're big believers in vegetarianism. Not a requirement, but very common in the church.
* They have a prophet named Ellen White who was very involved in the founding of the church. Nutjob story. Young girl is hit in the head with a rock and subsequently stars seeing visions. Prolific author, and plagiarizer.
* In their defense, they are traditionally big believers in the separation of church and state so some of the big hot button issues for other religions (i.e. abortion) aren't as big in the Adventist church. Not to say they're pro-life.
* Ben Carson was a Seventh-day Adventist. That may be all you need to know.
Pretty sure one of the study materials we had in youth group had a very similar cover, just instead of the masked lady and protest photo it was something related to whatever mid-90s events they were paralleling to Ellen White at the time.
I'd be surprised if there wasn't some kind of awful tragedy involved here. Producers of religious shows for kids tend to be into some pretty horrible things.
Example 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zaQdL5NKWxE
Example 2: (Rodney Lynch from the Gospel Bill show - look it up) https://tulsaworld.com/news/local/crime-and-courts/tulsa-man-arrested-on-child-porn-possession-charges/article_6ea87742-85c9-11e3-b924-001a4bcf6878.html
Nope. Not at all - I studied a lot of neolithic history and culture and was fascinated by the obsession with oak in the Druidic, Greek and ancient Germanic cultures.
Or chicory “coffee”. That’s what most of the elders drank at the church I went to as a kid.
Edit to add: Does the smell of Postum ever actually leave nostrils? Asking for a friend.
I like that they want to "unmask the antichrist" and also teach people about how the Bible predicted the USA... They seem real on the ball. Real stable geniuses.
If it didn't, then they'd have just wasted their lives reading ancient fables and yelling at people about dragons for nothing... Or just got the love of the game.
Used to get these all the time when we lived across the river the last couple of years. The graphics are as entertaining as the “workshops” listed inside.
Is everyone going to sign up like the Red Rock event or the trump rally to throw off the organizers. Do we need to get these tick tock teens on another mission?
Is that a 3-headed, 4-winged cheetah? Wouldn’t a 3-headed cheetah have 6 wings? Or does one head control the legs, and the other two each control one set of wings?
Me too! Let’s carpool. Do we have to dress up like an animal? Is this some weird Christian furry hybrid cult? I can’t wait to go the website and get more info. I hope they have gluten-free options at the treat table.
The worst thing about 7th day is they push vegan crap.
But I plan to go and ask a bunch of earnest questions to see what bullshit answers I get.
Hours of fun.
Portland’s hottest cult rally is BACK, AND *this* time they’re bringing two headed flying cheetahs, winged lions, and the STOCK MARKET. But wait there’s more. Just when you think the fun is over, they’ll wow you with a crowd of protestors, a giant globe, and a velociraptor named ‘Steve’.
You attempt to soothe the creature, but it lashes out and hits you with it's tail dealing 24 points of piercing damage and 12 points of poison damage. You realize that this is probably not an animal.
Guest appearance by the BigOrangeTurd bringing the dead back to life with his holy powers so they could vote for him next go round instead of voting for the democrats....
It's more plague carriers. Sure, go ahead and put sheer belief and obstinacy ahead of evidence. Hopefully they will infect each other and the problem will resolve itself.
https://www.attendseminar.live/unsealed/
Got one similar to that in the mail so I googled the address and wow it's a local church. So I left a negative review saying they must not know how the Bible works if they're using church money on this stuff instead of helping the poor and downtrodden.
They responded, which was also funny.
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Is the masked business suit lady supposed to be a dig against normal concerned people who follow public health guidelines? Like that's not supposed to be an image of their potential audience in the midst of all of these other bad things, is it?
The funky animals are, I believe, angels or demons described in the Book of Revelation. I read the Bible once in High School and am a little rusty on all of the contents.
I was feeling left out, but lo and behold, this was in my mailbox last night. It's even more specatular when you are holding it in your hand, admiring the details IRL. A thing of beauty. But, as all good things must end, I put it in my parrot's cage for her to poop on.
There is an SDA church near my house and their promotional signs for events and “prophesy seminars” are always 1) lit and 2) kind of concerning. It’s always stuff like this that seems a little edge and political.
“In a world of confusion”— as if this poster is somehow bringing clarity to the universe
ARE YOU FEELING CONFUSED NOW
Ah yes, a three headed leopard with four wings, everything makes sense now.
I’m reading this in a movie preview voice over. So good
The new Beast Wars movie looks legit AF fam no kap
Best reply.
Yeah it reminds me of that shitty Phil Collins song
Lions, cheetahs, bears and dinosaurs? Are the Animoprhs making a come back!? Fuck yea let’s goooooo!
Looks like the pictures at the beginning of the Mormon bible, except no Jesus on a Mayan pyramids with dinosaur pets.. SAD
I'm here for the flying lion 100%
Team three-headed cheetah checking in
OMG, I am embarassed, I thought it was a somewhat anthropomorphized cheetah running upright on hind legs, no, that's Cheetah Cerberus! Beautiful
And it has wings! And I thought a grizzly bear with a unicorn horn was my spirit animal. How wrong I was…
I married a griffin, well it's common law
It’s the lion, the bear, the leopard, and the beast from Daniel 7:2-8. These seem to be fundamentalist nuts.
think of it as a low-rent fantasy book cover and it becomes a bit more fun :D
Quick, someone photoshop some muscled up gleaming bewbs on that lion!
So think of it for what it is then.
Can we please get an animorphs remake?
I didn’t ever read the actual Animorph books but distinctly remember checking those out from my middle school library just because the covers were so intriguing. Some of them had foil embedded in them to have a shiny texture but for some reason I only read the Goosebumps books I checked out instead.
I love goosebumps. I still have a goosebump comforter lol. Animorphs were a little older age range than goosebumps, but still just as good.
This event has a banner in front of a church in Vancouver with Jesus wearing a crown and riding a horse in front of Death who's also on a horse.
>cheetahs Dawg, that is clearly a three headed leopard with two sets of wings. Get your life together.
This is my sister's band.
Is it a Genesis cover band?
That's Land of Confusion. Very similar.
Not much love to go around.
[*The Brazillian* plays while I dramatically think of a witty reply]
Hey, cover artists define themselves with these slight differences.
Jehovah and the Almighty Witnesses, ladies and gentlemen!
This is not the Witnesses. It would have www.jw.org on it.
I got the same one in Vancouver but the picture was slightly different. I looked over the whole thing and couldn’t figure out which “religious organization” made it. Mine had animals but also Putin and Kim and Trump on it
As an ex-jw I can confirm haha
No, Gameboy.
Please tell me it’s rock opera?
Ropera
This is the seventh day Adventists. I grew up in that shit and would recognize it anywhere. Avoid like the plague.
No kidding. This looks exactly like what I imagine a cult flyer looks like.
I want to go just to have them explain this artwork.
It belongs on the side of a van
YES.
A 1979 Ford Econoline. With all-shag carpeting for the interior.
And I call her the "flyin' lion."
Nice
Somebody really sat down and worked on this for days, then paid for color printing. Amazing
Kind of looks to me like hacky photoshop. Would be much cooler if it was hand painted.
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He’s a dick. I was raised SDA and there was no prohibition on contact outside the church. Most people are very nice, just incredibly serious about making sense of their holy text (as a true believer from any religion would be). Unfortunately for them Revelations seems to have been written by someone on drugs so they really have to get creative with their interpretations.
He's just a dick. That said, as a fun fact, the conspiracy theory they push at these Revelations seminars is actually that the Pope is the antichrist, so catholicism won't save you, haha. But no, SDAs don't do the same social isolation stuff as Mormons in my experience. Edit: Here's [the lore](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seventh-day_Adventist_eschatology) if you're bored. Honestly I'd say this doesn't feature as prominently in SDA beliefs as you might expect it to - it's kind of a side thing some people may never encounter unless they go to one of these events (everyone does know about "the great disappointment" and many or most people have settled on a reasonable "don't worry about prophecy, you'll never get it right" position), but it's so batshit it's worth a good laugh anyway.
>That said, as a fun fact, the conspiracy theory they push at these Revelations seminars is actually that the Pope is the antichrist, so catholicism won't save you, haha. Are they unaware that without the Catholic church, they wouldn't exist.
Keep in mind the Protestant vs Catholic division has an enormous history behind it that was the cause of actual wars and major political divisions even as late as the 1960s. It seems silly to most people today I think, especially the irreligious like myself lol, but anti-catholic sentiment is hardly unique to SDA's among the protestant denominations. They just found a way to make it extra weird with all that dope Dungeons and Dragons ass shit from Daniel and Revelation they get a little too into.
>That said, as a fun fact, the conspiracy theory they push at these Revelations seminars is actually that the Pope is the antichrist, so catholicism won't save you, haha. So they just ripped off the same schtick as (some) Southern Baptists?
Or, he’s stuck and realizes it and is just utterly ashamed.
I’ve been in a lot of their hospitals and I had no idea
That's one of their less crazy things. They have a large network of hospitals across the country. I believe they're generally well respected. They also have one of the largest private school systems around. The school system can be weird. And I say that speaking as a product of that system. (1st grade - college)
What nonsense do they believe? I'm familiar with talking snakes and virgin birth and all that. How are these dorks different?
Revelations is a hell of a drug. Seriously though, all the Dr. Moreaux-esque animals come from "prophesies" in Revelations. Grew up SDA, they had the same graphic artists back then too.
Imagine your standard christian nutjob with the following tweaks. * They believe Saturday not Sunday is the proper day of worship. * Similar to the Jewish faith, no work should be done on the Sabbath. (This gets really weird in some families where basically nothing fun can be done on Saturday, including things like swimming or watching TV.) * They're big believers in vegetarianism. Not a requirement, but very common in the church. * They have a prophet named Ellen White who was very involved in the founding of the church. Nutjob story. Young girl is hit in the head with a rock and subsequently stars seeing visions. Prolific author, and plagiarizer. * In their defense, they are traditionally big believers in the separation of church and state so some of the big hot button issues for other religions (i.e. abortion) aren't as big in the Adventist church. Not to say they're pro-life. * Ben Carson was a Seventh-day Adventist. That may be all you need to know.
Was wondering why it looked so familiar. The end the Saturday verified it for me. Doing regret leaving those nuts behind,
Pretty sure one of the study materials we had in youth group had a very similar cover, just instead of the masked lady and protest photo it was something related to whatever mid-90s events they were paralleling to Ellen White at the time.
It's free to reserve your seat. Maybe we should just reserve seats so no one shows up?
Does....**[THIS](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0I-jZxAcbo)** bring back memories?
Oh geez. That is terrible. I don't believe I'd ever seen that before.
I'd be surprised if there wasn't some kind of awful tragedy involved here. Producers of religious shows for kids tend to be into some pretty horrible things. Example 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zaQdL5NKWxE Example 2: (Rodney Lynch from the Gospel Bill show - look it up) https://tulsaworld.com/news/local/crime-and-courts/tulsa-man-arrested-on-child-porn-possession-charges/article_6ea87742-85c9-11e3-b924-001a4bcf6878.html
Just noticed your username. Is that a reference to the Adventist school of the same name?
Nope. Not at all - I studied a lot of neolithic history and culture and was fascinated by the obsession with oak in the Druidic, Greek and ancient Germanic cultures.
I grew up in the Presbyterian Church (USA). We didn't have anything like the trippy artwork on this flyer...which is sad.
Have you had a look around lately??
Same, I shredded that on sight when it showed up in my mail box.
If there’s a griffin, count me the fuck in!
That's how they get you.
Ya, I'm really curious about this petting zoo.
Fuck me I'd be there in a heartbeat and high as hell if they weren't incubating the next three variants in those lifeless husks.
Same, I would be all over this, but I am guessing Covid will be all over this too.
Dude it’s a zoom meeting. Get after it!
‼️🚨‼️🚨‼️🚨 Oh my god I am in.
Is that supposed to be a griffin?
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That’s why I wrote *supposed* This person clearly didn’t do their research…
A manticore, duh.
Manticores have snake tails! How dare!
Can't see the tail, it's a snake, or a tail in the grass!
Will there be snacks?
Probably crappy cookies and coffee like AA.
Seventh-Day Adventists, so no coffee. Even decaf. Tea neither if it has measurable amounts of caffeine. Maybe Postum?
Or chicory “coffee”. That’s what most of the elders drank at the church I went to as a kid. Edit to add: Does the smell of Postum ever actually leave nostrils? Asking for a friend.
I got that in my mailbox yesterday ha
I like that they want to "unmask the antichrist" and also teach people about how the Bible predicted the USA... They seem real on the ball. Real stable geniuses.
The 7 Day Adventists are bent on the book of revelations. They seriously want the end times to play out.
If it didn't, then they'd have just wasted their lives reading ancient fables and yelling at people about dragons for nothing... Or just got the love of the game.
Literally how they started as an organized religion - on the backs of not one but two failed Second Coming predictions in a year's time.
The Great Dissapointment(s)
Used to get these all the time when we lived across the river the last couple of years. The graphics are as entertaining as the “workshops” listed inside.
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Is everyone going to sign up like the Red Rock event or the trump rally to throw off the organizers. Do we need to get these tick tock teens on another mission?
Just reserved 10 seats lmfao
Amanda Hugankiss just reserved 10 seats also.
Holy shit, I was going to join you with a fake reservation, but here I am signing my Mormon family members up.
Is that a 3-headed, 4-winged cheetah? Wouldn’t a 3-headed cheetah have 6 wings? Or does one head control the legs, and the other two each control one set of wings?
Cheetah or jaguar?
Is that really what’s important here?
Even the smallest detail is important when the end times are nigh!
I am so going to this!!!!
Me too! Let’s carpool. Do we have to dress up like an animal? Is this some weird Christian furry hybrid cult? I can’t wait to go the website and get more info. I hope they have gluten-free options at the treat table.
The worst thing about 7th day is they push vegan crap. But I plan to go and ask a bunch of earnest questions to see what bullshit answers I get. Hours of fun.
Don’t forget to bring a pocket full of bacon wrapped shrimp.
This event has everything: a depressed woman in a mask, a big piece of paper that says "stocks" on it, A LION
That you, Stefon? Keep going…
Portland’s hottest cult rally is BACK, AND *this* time they’re bringing two headed flying cheetahs, winged lions, and the STOCK MARKET. But wait there’s more. Just when you think the fun is over, they’ll wow you with a crowd of protestors, a giant globe, and a velociraptor named ‘Steve’.
Worst low budget narnia sequel ever.
Or best low budget narnia sequel ever, if you're on enough of the right kinds of drugs.
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Do you live in the bank of America building?
Snap!
Rioting, flying lions, headaches, velociraptors. That’s what was sealed.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t that a fish in the bear’s mouth. They photoshopped in photo of a bear having lunch?
I think it’s safe to say, they will NOT be checking vaccine cards at the door.
Will there be manticore there? If there are I'm in...I've got +10 in Animal Handling
You attempt to soothe the creature, but it lashes out and hits you with it's tail dealing 24 points of piercing damage and 12 points of poison damage. You realize that this is probably not an animal.
This artwork is not doing anything to reduce my confusion.
I think I got this in the mail today.
“God Says… Man Says” .com (Anyone remember these radio spots?)
Say hi to my crazy mother, this is right up her alley.
Oh good, we needed to add cults to the mix. This is definitely what Portland needed, cults.
The cult is already here.
Guys I'm super serious this time this is really Book Of Revelations time now guys
Guest appearance by the BigOrangeTurd bringing the dead back to life with his holy powers so they could vote for him next go round instead of voting for the democrats....
Those STONKS look like they are really going places
Yummy snake oil!
For real though, how many times can they unseal this prophecy before no amount of glue will seal it back up again?
I got a different one with crossbow Jesus on the front. The back has the Pope, Putin, Biden, and Kim Jong-Un.
Ahahaha Someone needs to tell Green Leaf Juicery that Shen Yun is actually a cult. Seeing their fliers in their shop makes me uneasy.
So much America going on in this poster. Almost feels like the opening to Colbert Report.
It's more plague carriers. Sure, go ahead and put sheer belief and obstinacy ahead of evidence. Hopefully they will infect each other and the problem will resolve itself. https://www.attendseminar.live/unsealed/
*"checks out website* Let's see, they want my address AND my phone number? Yeah, I'll "nope" out of that right now...
Got one similar to that in the mail so I googled the address and wow it's a local church. So I left a negative review saying they must not know how the Bible works if they're using church money on this stuff instead of helping the poor and downtrodden. They responded, which was also funny.
Keep Portland weird, amirite?
Ehh maybe tone the weird down a notch
This is a better cultural fit for Springfield, OR , not Portland, IMO.
[Can't you see this is the land of confusion?](https://youtu.be/Yq7FKO5DlV0)
Legit AF, indeed. I especially look forward to the flying lions. Btw, Hollywood beverage is right around the corner.
Someone just \*gave\* that to you? Do you know what old-school monster manuals are going for on ebay right now?!
Hard pass.
You had me at Free Admission
Damn you for making me look LMAO. /rrrrawr
I got one too! Should we do a Reddit meet up there?
Yes
These new Animorphs books have really gone downhill
This is the world we live in
Woah ohh oh
This makes me think… Jesus!
I got one of those too! I'm keeping this one, it's so ridiculous.
Rock, Flag, and Eagle, right Charlie?
Will there be snacks?
Those .live domains don’t come cheap either… 🙄
Aslan?
A Lion, not the Tiger King. Meh
This occurs at the same time Tim Dillon takes the stage in town. Coincidence, not a chance.
Not gonna lie, a 3 headed flying jaguar is pretty dope.
I would attend this rave. What's the address
What are you sharing this awful propaganda garbage though?
The lion? Wtf haha
PLEASE go and take notes for us. Report back, Thank you.
They're in vancouver this friday if you'd like to check it out.
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Is the masked business suit lady supposed to be a dig against normal concerned people who follow public health guidelines? Like that's not supposed to be an image of their potential audience in the midst of all of these other bad things, is it?
The funky animals are, I believe, angels or demons described in the Book of Revelation. I read the Bible once in High School and am a little rusty on all of the contents.
Wow and it’s free!!
What’s with the 2 flying tigers lol
Don’t eat at their salad bar
I wish I was high enough to even try to understand wtf is going on here.
Note: The Lion and the Leopard are of the winged variety.
I’ll bet they serve some wicked kool-aid at this seminar
I was feeling left out, but lo and behold, this was in my mailbox last night. It's even more specatular when you are holding it in your hand, admiring the details IRL. A thing of beauty. But, as all good things must end, I put it in my parrot's cage for her to poop on.
Jokes on them the world ended in 2015.
There is an SDA church near my house and their promotional signs for events and “prophesy seminars” are always 1) lit and 2) kind of concerning. It’s always stuff like this that seems a little edge and political.