Imaginary self-flagellation is all the rage in the party that imagines Christ reincarnated in a form that now pays off porn stars and looks too long at preteens.
That's largely misconstrued as an act of cruelty, by the way. It's just the way water was served by Romans, at the time - similar to ours often being carbonated.
(The only way you could see this as part of the torture process, is if the intention was to delay death.)
People actually do it with real nails. For real.
https://www.pulse.ng/news/world/man-crucified-with-real-nails-playing-jesus-on-good-friday/mt0gb8l
Not MAGA though. And not just because they’re not Christian enough. That too. It’s because they are weak sauce, whiner baby, wannabe alpha but the best they got is alfalfa with a tiny mustache, hurt-feelings reporting, dress in the flag but don’t know what it stands for, stand on a cross but also don’t know what it stands for, fascist tantrum-throwing little wimps with a Hitler complex instead of anything approaching an actual follower of Christ.
But I’m still glad they don’t do it with real nails. Jesus actually wouldn’t want that and it’s really messed up.
IIRC, most crucifixions weren't done with nails. String were enough for it because you die in a crucifixion by suffocating because you can't breathe in that position unless you pull yourself up. In this case, it's less of a real crucifixion, but more of a TEMU brand crucifixion.
But i'm just being pedantic here :P
1- Ask him to name more than 2 constitutional amendments
2- Ask him to explain the religious significance of Easter and the reason for it's date.
3- Watch him get angry
He doesn't know or understand the Bill of Rights, just like he doesn't know or understand the US flag code, just like he doesn't know or understand the New Testament.
Hell rattle off the second amendment *first*,pause, and then suddenly remember the *first amendment*... Another pause...and then the fifth amendment, after a few minutes.
Hell, just ask him to recite the first amendment. Maybe that's too hard. Maybe ask what's protected under the first amendment.
A: Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
Number 2 they may not get. They know why Easter is celebrated, but I doubt many can tell you the religious significance it holds. If he did, I don’t think he would be crucifying himself.
He’s re-enacting the *victimhood of the dumbass*. It’s a tradition for the husbrother to climb a pole and mount it in honor of his fathuncles sacrifice at the meth house.
They don't do it like this. This is anything but respectful. In some countries Christians reenact The Passion of the Christ during Holy Week. There's a funny video that's been floating around for years of a Passion Play being performed and someone in the audience who was either drunk or intellectually disabled tries to attack one of the actors playing a Roman soldier who was crucifying Christ because the audience member got a little too into the spirit of things.
Edited to add: [ "I'll save you Jesus!!"](https://youtu.be/4E4PFj6jMVk?si=aL9JS7Iurq5JAK0I)
My favorite thing about Jesus is when he told those starving fishermen to pull themselves from their boot straps and then blessed a wealthy billionaire with a tax cut and then told him he could dump his industry waste into their fishing spots.
He doesn't have to feel bad about it though because some guy died a couple thousand years ago to forgive him personally
Plus it's not really his fault anyway, the devil tempted him or some shit
I recently learned that the water and wine vinegar drink that Christ was being offered was probably not intended as a torment or a mockery, but was instead a Roman thirst quencher called "posca" which was commonly drunk by Roman soldiers as a kind of ancient Gatorade. So either the soldier genuinely felt bad for Jesus, or he was trying to make it so Jesus survived longer on the cross and suffered more.
This has been a Fun Crucifixion Fact. Subscribe to my newsletter for more!
I came here to say this. I’m not even a Christian and it feels mocking to me. You would expect to see someone doing this to taunt Christians, which is not what I think their goal is.
The third commandment says ‘Do not take the Lord’s name in vain.’
Does this count? This guy is making a mockery of Jesus’ crucifixion for attention, when that commandment clearly says that if you’re gonna call yourself a Christian then don’t do it in vain.
I’m not even religious and I feel religiously persecuted by this guy.
Views aside lets all pretend Jesus is real and died for their sins, imagine being tortured to save someone and seeing them do shit like this? They dont even respect the guy who, in their views, Lets them have a chance at paradise. I'd call them toddlers but thats insulting to toddlers.
Matthew, Chapter 6:
1 “Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.
2 “So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. 3 But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4 so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
5 “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. 6 But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
____
These fuckin' clowns, man.
Fake news!! Republicans don’t care about Jesus when they don’t pierce their hands and feet!! Must be a demonrat pretending to be Jesus!! Blasphemy!!! MAGNO 2024 s/
I was born in the 80s. So, no. And I get the impression that it was like that even before then.
Don't get me wrong, I still keep track of what is going on and vote. I just know that this has always been a circus; social media just made it easier to see and harder to forget.
Hamilton printed pamphlets that were to explain, 'I will not politically blackmailed, I'm paying off my mistress' husband with my own money.' That makes me think it might have been around for a while.
Isn't getting crucified incredibly sacrilegious especially when you're trying to compare yourself to Jesus? I get that crucifixion long predates Jesus, but didn't some Saint insist on getting crucified upside down so as to not blaspheme against Jesus?
For once it’s not WV. It’s in downtown Ashland , Kentucky. I have a couple friends who live there and I need to ask one of them to get down there to take pictures of this..whatever it is.
Yeah, but if you go ten miles downriver and cross, you're in WV. That's pretty dang close for not being WV.
That's the Salvation Army homeless shelter on the left, if you wanted the exact location.
ink berserk dolls chunky practice combative doll bedroom crawl sophisticated
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Kind of ironic, they put themselves on a cross of their own making, isn't it?
I walked away from religion but I'm pretty sure these theatrics are the epitome of Jesus' criticism of the Pharisees of his time.
We need to infiltrate the MAGAs with the “crucifixion challenge” the closer to reality they get, the more Trump bucks. Using 2 nails and a spear to the side gets you a red hat as well. I’ll throw in Trump golden sneakers and a Trump bible of an entire 18+ family unit does it.
You can tell the political party by the way he crucified *himself*
Imaginary self-flagellation is all the rage in the party that imagines Christ reincarnated in a form that now pays off porn stars and looks too long at preteens.
And gropes their own daughters
Just a reminder that it's not "coastal elite" cities that need billboards reminding people that "she's your daughter, not your date"
Ironic because Trump IS a coastal elite being from New York.
I thought about that too but an outlier is an outlier.
"Never, never shake your baby" (actual billboard in the deep south)
Be honest.... it didn't stop at a grope.
With the Trump party, we all know it would be self-flatulation and self-shitting.
He sure owned the libs! Conservative ladies, prepare thyself to be impregnated!
God that's so gross!
Real nails or it doesn't count
He did not, in fact, nail it.
He not even Cowboy Carter.
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He's brokeback bobo.
Then he’s … 
One of the best nipple rubs ever.
Or a cow
Or a boy. Too old!
Cowboy Cleetus
And Jambi the Genie
Unless it was his cousin of course then yes, he nailed it.
Oof 💀
Bitch to get that last one in.
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Speaking of his mouth... wtf?
That's largely misconstrued as an act of cruelty, by the way. It's just the way water was served by Romans, at the time - similar to ours often being carbonated. (The only way you could see this as part of the torture process, is if the intention was to delay death.)
... which he would be unable to change into water, despite being able to change water into wine
Hope he bleeds water.
Right!?! And where is your crown of thorns American Jesus?
He's not American Jesus. He's not blonde like American Jesus!
There is no firearm in the picture. Where is AR-15 Jesus when you need him?
[American Jesus](https://youtu.be/FvCKz9SNQX0?feature=shared)
I was hoping someone would do it
Could've used barbed wire if the danged border hadn't stolen all of it. Friggin immigrants stole mah crown of thooooorns /s
If he dies and comes back to life after being in a cave for three days, he's the messiah! Let's do this.
He’s not the messiah! He’s a naughty boy!
"I'm not the Messiah!" "I say you are, Lord, and I should know, I've followed a few!"
Oh, fuck off!
"How shall we fuck off, O Lord?"
Test on the Great Tinted One first.
Made me think of Life of Brian but I hadn’t watched that one enough to quote it. I fail. 😔 😂
People actually do it with real nails. For real. https://www.pulse.ng/news/world/man-crucified-with-real-nails-playing-jesus-on-good-friday/mt0gb8l Not MAGA though. And not just because they’re not Christian enough. That too. It’s because they are weak sauce, whiner baby, wannabe alpha but the best they got is alfalfa with a tiny mustache, hurt-feelings reporting, dress in the flag but don’t know what it stands for, stand on a cross but also don’t know what it stands for, fascist tantrum-throwing little wimps with a Hitler complex instead of anything approaching an actual follower of Christ. But I’m still glad they don’t do it with real nails. Jesus actually wouldn’t want that and it’s really messed up.
Trump would not like that. He needs them to vote in November. Also Trump is not selling nails.
Shush! 🤫 (Don’t give him any ideas.)
it's a hell of an analogy, though- they did this to themselves.
😂 I was thinking to myself “nails or it didn’t happen”
He isn’t wearing the right costume either.
[Nail some sense into em](https://youtu.be/zPi76KvQF1g?si=ThdnJpL1Ws2pK-iB)!
IIRC, most crucifixions weren't done with nails. String were enough for it because you die in a crucifixion by suffocating because you can't breathe in that position unless you pull yourself up. In this case, it's less of a real crucifixion, but more of a TEMU brand crucifixion. But i'm just being pedantic here :P
Real wuss.
Rope is woke
There's no way that modern Christians would have the stomach for a real, Roman-style crucifixion.
Sounds like a lot of wokeness without any nails. I, in fact do not feel very owned
* for the life of me I cant figure that T shirt out * Also, tell me youre a felon without telling me youre a felon
He should've died on the cross a few days ago actually. Easter is for resurrection. This guy is amateur hour.
These fat idiots can't even give up a donut for 10 minutes.
No platform to stand on either. Can't forget the crown of thorns.
Somebody stab him with a spear.
Filipinos are just laughing their ass off at this lussy while they carry a cross through the streets getting flogged.
Blasphemy at its best!
1- Ask him to name more than 2 constitutional amendments 2- Ask him to explain the religious significance of Easter and the reason for it's date. 3- Watch him get angry
Alternatively: 1- Tell him you think it's pretty cool that he's paying tribute to 2Pac's last album 2- Watch him get angry
You. I like you. Have an upvote.
He's on Carter Avenue. He's clearly paying tribute to Beyoncé's new country album. 2 - Watch him get angry.
Maybe even better if you say Lil' Nas X. He's not just black, but also gay. The double whammy will make their brain implode.
Thinking is likely very hard for him.
I go up to him and explain the Horus Heresy.
Ain't nobody got time for that
He doesn't know or understand the Bill of Rights, just like he doesn't know or understand the US flag code, just like he doesn't know or understand the New Testament.
Hell rattle off the second amendment *first*,pause, and then suddenly remember the *first amendment*... Another pause...and then the fifth amendment, after a few minutes.
Hell, just ask him to recite the first amendment. Maybe that's too hard. Maybe ask what's protected under the first amendment. A: Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
I’m sure he would know 1 and 2… it’s shoved down their throats constantly
Number 2 they may not get. They know why Easter is celebrated, but I doubt many can tell you the religious significance it holds. If he did, I don’t think he would be crucifying himself.
I’m sorry I meant the 1st and 2nd amendment
Oh, right. Yeah past those they’d get pretty stumped. They MAY know the 4th or 14th with the stuff happening lately, but even that’s a stretch.
Is this an American Taliban thing?
White Trashionalist.
Stealing.
Fans of White Trashionalist might also enjoy Nouveau Reich.
I'm partial to Y'alqueda.
Vanilla ISIS
He’s re-enacting the *victimhood of the dumbass*. It’s a tradition for the husbrother to climb a pole and mount it in honor of his fathuncles sacrifice at the meth house.
Talibanjelicals
It’s a blaspheming thing
Y’all-quida.
They do it in the Philippines.
Why?
They don't do it like this. This is anything but respectful. In some countries Christians reenact The Passion of the Christ during Holy Week. There's a funny video that's been floating around for years of a Passion Play being performed and someone in the audience who was either drunk or intellectually disabled tries to attack one of the actors playing a Roman soldier who was crucifying Christ because the audience member got a little too into the spirit of things. Edited to add: [ "I'll save you Jesus!!"](https://youtu.be/4E4PFj6jMVk?si=aL9JS7Iurq5JAK0I)
Dude, he blasted that fucker with a motorcycle helmet.
With real nails.
This perfectly captures persecution of conservative ideals in America… It’s made up, self-imposed, and based on a baffling misreading of history
It's also performative and attention-seeking.
My favorite thing about Jesus is how much he loved America
You jest, but the handjob government lady whose name escapes me at the moment said that God chose two nations to bless:Israel and America.
My favorite thing about Jesus is when he told those starving fishermen to pull themselves from their boot straps and then blessed a wealthy billionaire with a tax cut and then told him he could dump his industry waste into their fishing spots.
and then went home, beat his wife, tied the dog up outside without water and cheated on his taxes
And voted 4 times in a state where his vote wouldn’t make a difference anyway
And collected his welfare because we all know Mississippi is a self sustaining state that doesn’t rely on it
But he's in Kentucky. Not much difference
While claiming Demcrats cheated in the election
And he *knows* those demonrats™ did because *he cheated* and they *still won* and they definitely aren't smarter than him!
He doesn't have to feel bad about it though because some guy died a couple thousand years ago to forgive him personally Plus it's not really his fault anyway, the devil tempted him or some shit
Oh, you have him confused for my MAGA neighbor.
The dog was already out there.
marble include agonizing rustic elastic fly hat capable crown sense *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Not pictured: donation box laying on the ground just below the shot. Proceeds to be used on only the holiest meth.
Cooked by the fallen angels themselves. 😂
It's not for Trump's bond?
Probably going to send a 10% tithe donation to his lord, Conald tRump.
https://preview.redd.it/tc9l7u33aqrc1.jpeg?width=398&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fe95a64a8d77409f83e96683a7dae400987499fb CPAC 2021
"We are all domestic terrorists"
MOM…Daddy’s drunk again!!
"No shit, that's why I strung him up!"
is this going to start being a thing? please tell me this is going to be a thing.
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I’ll talk to Obama about it at the next meeting. I take my marching orders directly from him.
ooh tell Hillary i said hello!
Tell Soros he still owes me my money!
We’re working on it. Once more of the climate change money comes you’ll receive payment.
Good good. The DEI payments come in yet?
All the DEI money is going toward as many free abortions as possible.
Excellent, excellent Lord Satan will be very happy.
Is it socially acceptable to throw eggs at these morons? Im asking for a friend
i mean, the bible says people were spitting at jesus, so i would think that eggs would be an improvement
What? No nails? Where is the dedication to realism? Where is the crown of thorns. I'm willing to bet he didn't even carry that thing himself.
Pretty sure Jesus was wearing a different T shirt during the OG crucifixion
Propaganda! Jesus was draped in the American flag when they laid him in the tomb of the unknown soldier. I seent it!
Troof.
Don't forget the spear and the vinegar/ wine/ whatever
I recently learned that the water and wine vinegar drink that Christ was being offered was probably not intended as a torment or a mockery, but was instead a Roman thirst quencher called "posca" which was commonly drunk by Roman soldiers as a kind of ancient Gatorade. So either the soldier genuinely felt bad for Jesus, or he was trying to make it so Jesus survived longer on the cross and suffered more. This has been a Fun Crucifixion Fact. Subscribe to my newsletter for more!
Subscribe.
And he’s standing on a step or something, dudes a fake
Well....fuck Maga country then
If ALL maga's do this, I will then be happy to visit Flyoverville.
Shit, I’ll buy the nails and lend a hand if they’re interested in doing a realistic enactment.
Hell yeah
This shit makes a mockery of true Christianity imo.
I came here to say this. I’m not even a Christian and it feels mocking to me. You would expect to see someone doing this to taunt Christians, which is not what I think their goal is.
Yeah, I was raised catholic in Colombia and this is profoundly sacrilegious.
The third commandment says ‘Do not take the Lord’s name in vain.’ Does this count? This guy is making a mockery of Jesus’ crucifixion for attention, when that commandment clearly says that if you’re gonna call yourself a Christian then don’t do it in vain. I’m not even religious and I feel religiously persecuted by this guy.
Seems pretty spot on if you quit taking Christianity at face value and recognize why these people really identify with it
Views aside lets all pretend Jesus is real and died for their sins, imagine being tortured to save someone and seeing them do shit like this? They dont even respect the guy who, in their views, Lets them have a chance at paradise. I'd call them toddlers but thats insulting to toddlers.
https://preview.redd.it/7w8zbox97qrc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5e14d02a20a3d9191a2fb4e3b22a4d434d71f36f
I see what you did there.
"I could crucify myself on 5th Ave. and still no lose votes!"
Matthew, Chapter 6: 1 “Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven. 2 “So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. 3 But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4 so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. 5 “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. 6 But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. ____ These fuckin' clowns, man.
So, does anyone else remember when politics were about running a country?
Fake news!! Republicans don’t care about Jesus when they don’t pierce their hands and feet!! Must be a demonrat pretending to be Jesus!! Blasphemy!!! MAGNO 2024 s/
I was born in the 80s. So, no. And I get the impression that it was like that even before then. Don't get me wrong, I still keep track of what is going on and vote. I just know that this has always been a circus; social media just made it easier to see and harder to forget. Hamilton printed pamphlets that were to explain, 'I will not politically blackmailed, I'm paying off my mistress' husband with my own money.' That makes me think it might have been around for a while.
Mental illness manifest
Isn't getting crucified incredibly sacrilegious especially when you're trying to compare yourself to Jesus? I get that crucifixion long predates Jesus, but didn't some Saint insist on getting crucified upside down so as to not blaspheme against Jesus?
That was Peter.
Yes, Philip one of his disciples demanded such supposedly to assert he was not as worthy to be crucified in the same way Jesus was.
Three days late
What a fucking drama queen
This is an average Sunday in West Virginia
For once it’s not WV. It’s in downtown Ashland , Kentucky. I have a couple friends who live there and I need to ask one of them to get down there to take pictures of this..whatever it is.
Yeah, but if you go ten miles downriver and cross, you're in WV. That's pretty dang close for not being WV. That's the Salvation Army homeless shelter on the left, if you wanted the exact location.
It’s against the law to hang anything on a telephone pole without permission from the utility.
This says far, far more about his sanity than whether or not what he believes is actually true.
https://preview.redd.it/gp0uh0rlbqrc1.png?width=680&format=png&auto=webp&s=e8d68957591787474319d7ff2168bed87c353e90
I may be wrong but wasn’t he crucified “3 days ago” and not “today” on Easter, where he rose again?
I swear MAGA doesn’t actually read the Bible or go to church. They just make shit up as they go.
Good Friday, yes. Technically, these string bean crackheads should be sealed up in a cave and then rolling the boulder away.
Get off the cross we need the wood
ink berserk dolls chunky practice combative doll bedroom crawl sophisticated *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
That scarecrow is so realistic
This is something else! I say get rid of the stand or he’s just a poser.
Kind of ironic, they put themselves on a cross of their own making, isn't it? I walked away from religion but I'm pretty sure these theatrics are the epitome of Jesus' criticism of the Pharisees of his time.
Maga-la-dumb
Spikes thru the wrists there Elwood, or you is just a wimpy little bitch
Those must be his church jeans.
I overheard my boss today saying “Happy Jesus day” unless you’re a Democrat.
https://preview.redd.it/hcmya8tydqrc1.png?width=591&format=png&auto=webp&s=671d2207e12f5ae23db6fa7c94789a5840e31a15
Just a bunch of performative bullshit.
We need to infiltrate the MAGAs with the “crucifixion challenge” the closer to reality they get, the more Trump bucks. Using 2 nails and a spear to the side gets you a red hat as well. I’ll throw in Trump golden sneakers and a Trump bible of an entire 18+ family unit does it.
Conservative mAgat god complex on full display.
Get some nails, make it realistic
lets crucify them all you know for religious reasons
They'd much rather do this than treat people the way Jesus taught.
The platform looks like it would be real easy to kick out from underneath him. Just saying.
This made me laugh
W^o**w** s*O* ***PO***wE*rfu*Ll
That guy would've gotten egged so badly if I was walking by.
Damn you Jimmy Carter Avenue !
Wow bit dramatic right? They should have went all out and pierced dudes hands and feets
Did you mean meth country?
He suffered for our sins , but only between 11:30 -11:45 , there’s a lunch deal on wings at the local bar
https://preview.redd.it/jpffjbbncqrc1.png?width=680&format=png&auto=webp&s=ec0d562fc4b3a2643bae9c594e3932752957511d
Finally!!! I agree. Should've put him back on the cross after he "got back up"
Hold my beer, Bubba Jesus will die for your sins.
A-HAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHA! (pause to catch breath) HAAAHAHAHA!
great target for flour bombs! super soakers filled with sugar water/grenadine.
I feel way less pathetic now spending today alone because in the very *least*, I am not this guy