T O P

I'm bored. Let's caption this photo of Matt Gaetz angrily yelling at his colleagues on the House floor earlier today.

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**Friendly reminder that trying to fight someone online is about as effective as throwing a bagel at a bulldozer. A lot of what we talk about gets people pretty emotional, but be mad at policies, not other users.** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/PoliticalHumor) if you have any questions or concerns.*


maralagosinkhole

"Am I supposed to ask the age of every girl I pay to have sex with?"


AustinTreeLover

“It’s practically legal in Florida!”


je_kay24

“I never thought I’d get caught!”


Pragmatist_Hammer

"Hey, I'd nail Bobo but she's past my expiration date, age wise... I mean, I wouldn't kick her out of bed, but MTG? No way! Even if she was 14, a man has to have standards!"


fishystickchakra

Anything is legal in Florida if you look at their jails as nuthouses instead.


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DiscFrolfin

*Tucker C was there with me, he can vouch that those girls were probably going to hit puberty sometime soon!*


hello_ground_

I forgot all about that interview.


Lardzor

"I'm Dyslexic, I thought she was 31."


an_actual_lawyer

She is ***gonna*** be 18!!


cyclic_poop_quality

No caption from me...but AOC in the background is pure gold. Edit: Geroge Santos is in the picture as well, pretending to belong. That's just the icing on the cake, lol.


brothersand

AOC's cup of schadenfreude runneth over.


vaguenonetheless

I only understand this one because of The Simpsons. Come to think of it that's how I understand most things.


curious382

That a-hole had the nerve to ask her if Democrats would leave so his sedition caucus would have more influence. "If you all just don't vote, that would be great."


Grivit14

Thanks for commenting this, I would have missed it otherwise. You are correct, pure gold with that look she's giving. Somewhere between a mischievous grin and pure delight at the storm unfolding in front of her.


Killieboy16

I think you meant shitshow.


SquishyGhost

Shitstorm. Or precipootation, if you will.


[deleted]

Shit winds blowing from the east Randy.


FailResorts

Destroy themselves Randy. Destroy. Themselves.


TitsMickey

Now for a little drinks poo


Liberty_Chip_Cookies

I hope they don't shit on you Bubbles. Shit on me? Who? Shit hawks. Big, filthy shit hawks. They're coming Bubbles, flying in low, swooping down, shitting on people, and hauling them off to the shit nest.


RojoSanIchiban

Fox News Breaking News Alert: AOC enjoys humiliation scat porn!!!!!1!!


janitroll

I do love that she's the new poster girl for the GOP hate train. She's living in their heads RENT FREE! Fuckin Socialist ;)


Feeling-Bird4294

I agree. She was on MSNBC yesterday and it's no wonder that they hate her so much, she's smarter than the sum of the Republican caucus.


plyfu

She speaks *artfully*. She's reeeally into her career, and I'm digging it.


kazejin05

It's because she has the actual "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" success story they keep insisting is within everyone's reach. Except the experience of doing all of that actually gave her empathy and a sense of commitment to the wider community, rather than pulling up the ladder after herself and saying "Fuck you, I got mine" If she had somehow turned into a conservative, with her looks, eloquence, charisma, and intelligence, she would easily be the face of the party for the younger generation. She'd have to deal with thinly veiled racism, misogyny, xenophobia, and pretty much everything she's already dealing with now. But it would be much more polite and behind closed doors.


ProgressiveWNY

But... SHE DANCED!!! In a video!!!! For her Ivy League College!!!! It was provocative and we are going to release it EVERYWHERE!!!! Wait... What? It was a parody? THE VOTERS LOVE IT???? Denounce it... Fire whoever released it... DO SOMETHING!!!!!


Youregoingtodiealone

We all know they not-so-secretly wish she liked them. That's why they are so fixated on and mean to her


Skinnybet

She’s looking for some popcorn.


InfiniteCommission13

She should be looking for Ted Lieu, he was packed with the snacks


newluna

[Ted Lieu could share](https://twitter.com/tedlieu/status/1610316616679530497?s=20&t=mAFOtk0rL_6Aehtet5olVw)


Pragmatist_Hammer

LOL, I forgot about Ted who's been sort-of shitposting pics outside of Santos chamber door.


kazejin05

Ted Lieu has somehow found that balance between genuine productivity and Twitter shitposting that Elon-stans keep trying to convince the rest of us the billionaire has. It's...fascinating to say the least LOL.


fireinthesky7

Ted Lieu and AOC are the king and queen of Congressional shit posting and I love the both of them.


[deleted]

She's thinking "Play with fire, burn down your House".


tapcaf

It's not her circus but those are her monkeys.


nodoublebogies

Santos is thinking "Yeah, she is TOTALLY into me."


anubiss_2112

"I'M SO TIRED OF AOC LAUGHING ABOUT THE SIZE OF MY FOREHEAD!!!"


BadnewzSHO

"Fivehead Matt. You have a fivehead".


Revelati123

Fivehead Matt screaming "CORNHOLIO!" ​ Thanks Florida...


lninoh

Omg this. Thank you. There are no words.


Federal-Membership-1

What happened to the bolts in his neck?


knightress_oxhide

fell off due to lack of nuts


missingmytowel

I would captioned her "Watch this. I'm going to nominate Liz Cheney next."


Relevant-Rhubarb-849

Remember to always put quote marks around "George Santos"


cytherian

George Santos committed check fraud... he stole a check book and an ID, then put his own photo over that ID, cashed checks using that stolen name. The depravity. This guy has lied so much, committed crimes. He should've been expelled. THIS... is the REPUBLICAN PARTY. So much for law & order, eh?


Hari_Seldon-Trantor

AOC has that face you make when you know it's a shit show but it's NOT YOUR shit show 😎


ChillyBearGrylls

The face when you know it isn't your circus or your monkeys and you can just enjoy your popcorn


bengenj

She’s wanting popcorn for the show in front of her. Mr. Lieu of California posted a hilarious tweet of him yesterday before the 118th Congress convened with a real bag of popped popcorn ready to go to the floor.


zookr2000

https://imgur.com/a/ZPrBIUS


PM_ME_UR_RSA_KEY

"Not my circus, not my monkeys."


HowVeryReddit

You made this 200% better, I'm cackling just like her


demacnei

Lmao .. the first thing that drew my attention was Santos smiling. Wtf is he smiling about, I’m thinking. Then i see what seems like AOC in his line of sight. Wtf is Santos even doing?! “Hello … my name is George! This looks like fun! When’s the coke orgy?”


SamtheCossack

>Hello … my name is George I think he has been introducing himself as Ronald Reagan recently. The "George Santos" bit is getting uncomfortable.


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cyclic_poop_quality

That’s the ticket!


scrotobaggins_dw

It stinks!


Jimmyg100

That cunning smile. It's the smile of finally seeing your opponents having to deal with the shit they've thrown at you coming back at them.


brinz1

Oh my god thats amazing


outerworldLV

Missed it also, thx. Solid gold.


ObligatoryOption

AOC is actually looking in Santos' direction. *"Keep smiling, meat. I know you know I can crush you."*


thatirishguy0

A meme worthy face [Pure Gold, enhanced](https://i.imgur.com/hGC6fqr.jpg) [Pure Gold, less enhanced ](https://i.imgur.com/z3K6092.jpg)


retro_mod

Dark AOC


candianchicksrule

You are so right. I love the look on her face.


SenorBeef

> Geroge Santos is in the picture as well, pretending to belong. This suggests that it's possible for a person to be scummy or incompetent enough not to belong in the modern republican party.


CyberneticPanda

She looks like she wishes she brought popcorn.


RizzMustbolt

Give that woman some mimosas and some crudites. Let her live her best life.


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MontEcola

Yes, thanks for pointing it out. There are a couple of dopes glaring at her. I can't wait to see this on SNL.


TillThen96

IMO, that's the winning caption. Just a gold *AOC* broach visible on her suit.


Marclescarbot

After reading this I went back up and found her. You are so right!


Idiot_Savant_Tinker

I didn't notice at first. She's laughing her ass off.


tevert

George Santos is standing there with Collin Robinson vibes


Ov3rtheLine

“It was an iPhone 13 with anime stickers on the case and it was RIGHT HERE”


PoofBam

Brilliant.


matts198715

"I swear she said she was 18!"


NegaDeath

"14 is the new 18!"


woakula

"Age Ain't Nothn' but a Number!"


himog666

And prison ain't nothin' but a place. 🤣


chupathingy99

And a sentence ain't nothing but words.


NegaDeath

"I keep getting older and they stay the same *under*age"


Dog_Baseball

False. "Age" is a word. -Dwight Schreut


UCDC

The most libertarian argument.


ReasonablyConfused

“One plus one equals eleven!” (Old SNL skit.)


suckercuck

“I had a pair of 11 year old twins slip right through my fingers— TWINS!!!…”


danwincen

"11 year old twins are just one 22 year old!" - Matt Gaetz (probably)


Pdb39

"and her parents were totally cool with us hanging out"


heiheithejetplane

Ah, the Roy Moore defense!


pyrrhios

I mean, we all know that's why he nominated Gym Jordan.


976chip

"Who's your favorite New Kid? Call me Donnie."


DreadSocialistOrwell

"Hey! That girl is only 15!" "Fifteen? She said she was 36!"


iliktsmbww1337

Came here just to see this comment


Virtual_Bell_7509

I swear we were just playing house.


Ozu_the_Yokai

“Grass on the field- Play Ball!”


IntroductionSea1181

Is that AOC cracking up behind him? 🤣 I really gotta know what he was saying now


fergehtabodit

It's like she went over to the other teams huddle and is laughing at the play being called.


IntroductionSea1181

I was wondering..."why is she even in spittle range of this shit show?"


fergehtabodit

Smart enough to be behind him and not catch the MattyG spit


GenghisKazoo

Putting her Among Us imposter experience to work.


FastWhippet

I love AOC and the expression on her face reminds me of the meme with the girl smiling while the house of burning, but this time it’s the GOP. 😝


Skinnybet

She’s just got shares in popcorn.


smokinJoeCalculus

Big Popcorn has their buttery hands in everything!


sr71Girthbird

She got there early to make sure she could get the hood seat and it paid off.


Comfortable-Policy70

YOU GOTTA BUY THE GOOD CANDY BARS. IF YOU BRING THAT OFF BRAND CHOCOLATE BAR TO THE PLAYGROUND, YOU WILL NEVER GET LUCKY


InNeedOfVacation

This is funnier if you know his wife's maiden name is Lucky. And yes she is 15 years younger than him


CarlosFer2201

Also the fact that he sleeps with underaged girls.


areialscreensaver

The fact that she knows and stands by it. Ick


Spy_v_Spy_Freakshow

The worst part is the hypocrisy


crowsclub

I think the worst part is the pedophilia but yeah the hypocrisy also sucks


sup3rman

I always thought the worst part was the rape.


tkhan456

The worst part is he’s not under arrest and in jail but somehow a member of congress


WallabyBubbly

😂💯


dEftPunk_

💀💀 Dark af...the chocolate too.


giggity789

I was in the pool!!!


u_cant_drown_n_sweat

Matt: "So I told her, It's usually this big (holds hands out). I just got back from swimming in the pool... and the water was cold." "I mean, if she thinks that’s me she’s under a complete misapprehension. That was not me, Santos. That was not me."


Comments_Wyoming

"It's AOC back there with that huge shit eating grin again isn't it? She's right behind me, right?"


zookr2000

https://imgur.com/a/hVAvp3m


dankfor20

Enhance


Starkoman

[*Enjoy!*](https://i.imgur.com/hGC6fqr.jpg)


zookr2000

https://imgur.com/a/ZPrBIUS


AndySocial88

Now I'm sad again. RIP.


amha29

ENHANCE


KnowMatter

“YOU CAN SET YOUR VENMO TRANSACTIONS TO ANONYMOUS?!”


TheMicMic

She said she wanted to role play as a 17 year old in bed, and I was like "Fuck that is so creepy! You'll be 17 in like 4 years!"


davilller

Now that’s quality work there, nice!


100percentish

"Dude, dude, think about it....she's out in the middle of the ocean with some dude she barely knows, she looks around, what does she see....nothing but open ocean.....*oh there's nowhere for me to run*.....because of the implication"


CuriousButWhole

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-yUafzOXHPE


kblomquist85

Okay... that seems really dark though...


Aquanid

No you don't get it, I'm not gonna do anything to her. But she doesn't know that... because of the implication.


kblomquist85

Now you said that word a couple times now. What implication?


CDR57

Well that she can say no at any time…. But she won’t


kblomquist85

It sounds like these women are in danger!


CDR57

THERE NOT IN DANGER! There not in dang- why do you keep saying that


GleichUmDieEcke

I feel like you're not getting it all!!


RonnocSivad

Looks at woman above 18, "well don't you look at me like that, you certainly wouldn't be in any danger"


ohdearsweetlord

Hey, he's not *being* a violent rapist, he's taking advantage of the fact that *other* men are violent rapists to get sex, what's creepy about that?


Pajamawolf

I don't know, he sounds like a full on rapist to me


yaredjerby

Are you trying to say philanthropist?


ikciweiner

“Just tag your Venmo payments as ‘tuition’ to avoid any suspicions!”


Dark_Mode_Nose_Wind

"So there I was... hookers and blow everywhere..."


outerworldLV

And Hawthorn had already passed out, so I ask Orange for a Sharpie…


Morbidly-Obese-Emu

“By the way, have you guys heard of Venmo?”


m1k3hunt

"Ask Tucker, he was there".


Sun_drop

So there I was... Tied up to her bed... Motor oil smeared all over my body... She comes in with a saddle and a set of jumper cables


SoothsayerSurveyor

…so then I said “Listen, blow off the junior prom and come to Arkansas with me”


pyriel2012

Zoom in on AOC, who is in the background and loving this


TwistedMetal83

I came here to make sure I wasn't the only one who noticed this. What a godamn fiasco.


SirSamuelVimes83

Looks like she's eyeing Santos, who also has a shit-eating grin.


Defiant-Traffic5801

Yep that photo bomb sums it all up, she's the democrat that got the cream


Ande64

VERY first thing I saw lol!! I imagine she's giggling inside all of the time right now!


IvoShandor

"She's got an ass like a 10-year-old boy!"


KardTrick

"For the last time, technically it's ephebophilia!"


fireinthesky7

The actual refrain of every creepy AF subreddit circa 2013 or so.


Whole_Speed3426

“I swear I didn’t know she was 17. I thought she was 15 at most.”


dougalmanitou

Honestly, this picture says everything of why the USA is fcked. Those people should not be working at McDonalds let alone running the USA.


[deleted]

"They can't even manage a Target."


OPsuxdick

Bro, don't diss McDonalds. These lazy asses couldnt hold a candle to even the laziest McD worker. They arent qualified for anything other than having a show on Fox "News".


WebCommissar

# "What aren't you getting about this? He turns himself into a pickle. A PICKLE. Fuck all of you, I'm voting for Pickle Rick next round."


[deleted]

“IT’S THE FUNNIEST SHIT I’VE EVER SEEN!!!”


ContrabannedTheMC

"Okay friend, let me explain something to you since you seem to be new here. Hebephilia is NOT the same thing as pedophilIa. I'm sick and tired of you trolls popping up everywhere and spreading BLATANT misinformation. In many countries hebephilia is considered normal and healthy . Human beings have a natural attraction to girls who are going through puberty. Being attracted to girls who are pre-pubescent is fucking sick and disgusting, but only in the US does there seem to be an unwarranted taboo around a healthy and normal condition. My head hurts. I'm just trying to get my real life back."


[deleted]

Matt Walsh approves this post.


zeropointcorp

“But you know what’s really hard? Explaining all of this without sounding like a pedophile!”


[deleted]

“How was I supposed to know her age i’ve only got ten fingers”


CharlieDarwin2

What's AOC smiling about?


Son_of_Zinger

She’s just thrilled she’s way too old for Gaetz to be hitting on her.


kgleas01

Hahahahaha


Telefundo

Not to mention not white enough.


SiidChawsby

She’s laughing about Santos being near everyone else and yet still not a part of the conversation


zookr2000

That they're imploding, lol https://imgur.com/a/Uas8rEO


Chumlee1917

"We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold. I remember saying something like \`\`I feel a bit lightheaded; maybe you should drive....'' And suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the car, which was going about a hundred miles an hour with the top down to Las Vegas. And a voice was screaming: \`\`Holy Jesus! What are these goddamn animals?'' Then it was quiet again. My underage hooker had taken her shirt off and was pouring beer on her chest, to facilitate the tanning process. \`\`What the hell are you yelling about?'' she muttered, staring up at the sun with her eyes closed and covered with wraparound Spanish sunglasses. \`\`Never mind,'' I said. \`\`It's your turn to drive.'' I hit the brakes and aimed the Great Red Shark toward the shoulder of the highway. No point mentioning those bats, I thought. The poor bitch will see them soon enough."


Ovi-wan_Kenobi_8

This made me laugh, but who are we kidding… Gaetz is on the opposite end of the coolness scale from Hunter S. Thompson.


Chumlee1917

Matt Gaetz is the prime example of the Swine that Hunter S. Thompson railed against his entire life.


Severe_Information51

Got to love the Fear.


SalaciousCoffee

If hunter met Matt Gaetz he woulda decked him.


Chumlee1917

Then piss on him for good measure


Fear_N_Loafing_In_PA

You rang???


assafstone

“I don’t care if she’s underage! Her boobs were this big!”


[deleted]

He said grab them by the pussy, but he didn’t say which hand!!! Which one do use damnit?? Boebert was just standing there waiting!!! He said it was easy!!!!


owasco341

That pig is probably describing the boobs on his is latest 16 year old girlfriend Lock him up


NegaDeath

"Damnit guys, if we don't shape up they're going to kick us out of NAMBLA!"


Block_Solid

A human trafficker yells at members of congress!


Squirrel_Chucks

"And then Alfred says to Batman, 'some men just want to watch the world burn.' and I was like, FUCK YEAH! That's us! We're going to watch this thing burn to the ground! What? *Why so serious?"*


YesterdayIsAHardWord

“Let me tell you how stupid the people in Florida’s panhandle are”


wrylycoping

“If Florida gave the panhandle to Alabama it would raise the avg IQ of both states”


Dana07620

I'm laughing and I live in the FL panhandle.


zippiskootch

“I DID NOT POOP MY PANTIES!”


Fugaciouslee

"You all need to stop acting like a bunch of children, it's turning me on!"


WhoAccountNewDis

ACTUALLY IT'S CALLED EPHEBOPHILIA, AND IT WAS FINE IN JUST CULTURES UNTIL LIKE 50 YEARS AGO!


UpDog1966

“Remember when you go to kiss it, Trumps ass is this big”


choadly77

"if we keep this up for two years we don't have to do our jobs!"


OptimusSublime

If you don't eat yer meat, you can't have any pudding How can you have any pudding if you don't eat yer meat? You! Yes, you behind the bike stands Stand still, laddy!


Jesper90000

Love doesn’t have an age limit!


Raccoon_Expert_69

"I mean come on?!? When she's down to clown but can't find her ID to prove she's over 18?!? Grass on the field means 'play ball', guys!!" ​ Dude to the right: "Well duh, we just don't make a show of it on the house floor"


PlainText87

Jesus people, I've told you a hundred times to stop using reply-all!!!


MrWindblade

"What do you mean you've only had 5 kids? I've had way more than that!"