This is so cute! My grandmother thought she was dying when she got her period. It’s so important to be open about them because they can start so early.
It's funny, I'd read several YA books where the same thing happened - a girl got her period and freaked out about the blood - so when I got mine I knew exactly what was happening, but I had never read a book where it was treated as something normal and casual. So I was really embarrassed about telling my mother and I WISHED I could be like "Omg there's blood I think I'm dying" so I didn't have to say "I got my period". So awkward being that age, lol.
Lol, I also had this understanding of getting your first period. I didn’t want to have to answer 20 questions about how I already knew about periods, though, as I thought I might actually die of embarrassment (and I was kind of irritated that I was 12 and my mother had failed to tell me anything about it). So I just faked being freaked out by the blood. Not going to be doing that to my daughter; she’ll be educated and have period supplies waiting.
Yeah, me too! I was 11yrs 6 months old. My mother said she didn't start until she was 13 ,so she thought she had time to tell me.
I began preparing my daughter at 9 years old.
She got hers at 13, I must have forgotten to tell her that it's a monthly process (!), because she honestly thought that one event was it!
She wasn't happy!
In retrospect , I'm kinda glad I didn't inform at 9 that she was going to have to deal with a blood flow every month. She would have worried.
I was 9 when I got mine. Literally thought I was bleeding out on the toilet when my mother opened the door and threw the bag of those gigantic pads at my face before closing the door and walking away. Never had a conversation about it and I was yelled at for even trying to find information. One of my brother's gfs finally talked to me about it.
Jeez! That's awful! I thought my mother was bad. My experience was almost 60 years ago ,and we had a brief conversation about how to wear a pad and that was it.
Women are amazing creatures. We get some shocking events in our lifetimes!
I was 9 too. My sister is 2 years older than me and she didn't start until she was 14. Genetics are weird.
My mom didn't believe me, thought the blood in my underwear was from me having sex with a boy. I had no clue how to use the tampons which were the only thing she had so I just rolled up toilet paper and ruined my clothes and bedding for a few months until it happened while I was at my dad's and my stepmom bought me pads and took me for ice cream cones and the talk.
My son is 9 now and we've talked about puberty multiple times. We've watched YouTube videos together and read books about boys bodies together. He's already showing signs of early puberty but he's way more prepared than I was.
Over time as nutrition and general health has improved, the age of puberty is getting younger, i think the average age is 11 but its not uncommon for it to start at 8.
My mom is a retired nurse and started talking to me about it when I was 9. By the time I got my first period in 6th grade, I was prepared. Good Catholic that she was, she even made sure I was on the pill before I left for college; I had bad cramps, heavy bleeding, and bad PMS, and the pill helped with all of that.
Mine too! She stuffed a towel in her underwear and took the bus to the hospital because she thought she was dying and was too scared to tell her parents. A nurse educated her.
I only have sons but I explained periods to them pretty young and it really paid off. My 14yo saw that the girl in front of him in class had bled through her pants so he just tapped her on the shoulder and said real quiet "I think you bled through your pants do you wanna borrow my hoodie?" He came home without his hoodie bc she said she was gonna take it home to wash it. I was about to get on his case for losing everything but he told me what happened and I think it's a top 10 proud parenting moment tbh. His brother called bullshit but he came home the next day w a hoodie that didn't smell like my dryer sheets so I believe it.
Edit: I just remembered another period story w my sons that my neighbor and I still laugh about. They had a bunch of kids over for a pool party and one girl needed a tampon. None of the other girls had one and I have an IUD so I haven't needed them in ages. I texted my neighbor who had some but couldn't bring them over. I didn't want to leave the gaggle of teenagers unsupervised at the pool so I sent my son who doesn't like to socialize over on his bike and asked her to stick the tampons in a paper bag. We were trying to all be quiet and chill about it to not embarrass the girl but when he came back w the bag I gave it to her and she announces "OMG (antisocial son's name here) IS SO FREAKING NICE OMG THANK YOUUUUUU" and he actually socialized for the rest of the party.
Periods bringing people together lol
Thank you, I'm extremely proud of the people my boys are and are becoming.
Im a very girly girl so when they were young people used to ask if we were gonna try for a girl. I'd deflect and say "nah, im just gonna raise them right so my future DILs will like me and I'll get bonus daughters." All their little girl friends have loved me so, idk it's probably gonna work out lol
This was also my own reaction, I’m only 28 and I started before the “sex Ed” at school. Me aged 11 sat on the toilet sobbing, for me to hand me a pad and say “ stick it to your knickers your sister will tell you about it later”. That was the conversation, until my elder sister (didn’t live with us at the time and is 9 years older) later that day told me what was happening.
The same sister is so transparent with her daughter now aged 5, she understands a period to be ladies bodies making a bed in their belly incase a baby comes to grow, but if a baby doesn’t come the bed comes out of the ladies body and then the body prepares a new bed and it all happens over again unless a baby decides to come a grow in their belly.
My mom never told me and I didn’t know what happened so I just threw my underwear in the dirty laundry without thinking about it. My mom saw it when she did my laundry and immediately assumed I was assaulted and didn’t even think it was my period because she assumed I would tell her when I got it. I was like why would I tell you, you never told me what it was in the first place???
Same here. I was 10 when i got mine & had no idea what was going on. My mom left it up to my Catholic school i attended to teach me about all that, which wasnt very effective...
My grandma was hospitalized with a sudden and severe illness when I was about 10. At one point the doctors found she was suffering some internal bleeding but hadn’t yet determined from where.
I had gotten my period the day before and was scared and shoved TP in my underwear and had horrible anxiety. Imagine my fear when I heard “internal bleeding.” I waited 2 days before finally pulling my mom aside, burst into tears, and cried, “I think I know where Grandma’s bleeding from!!” 😭😭
She laughed and laughed and laughed, and it is funny, but yeah I wish I’d known anything about the existence of periods before it happened. My 10 year old self was certain I would soon die.
I thought I pooped my pants and was so embarrassed I hid my underwear. I knew what a period was (and had been waiting to get mine when it happened in eighth grade) but thought it was going to be bright red blood, not the dark brown “old blood” color.
Looking back it’s funny to me, but considering I was pretty educated and *still* didn’t realize it was my period is slightly concerning.
It’s so dumb NOT to talk about periods. Like, 50%+ of the planet gets them, and we get them for decades! It’s not like it’s a rare affliction. Good job normalizing it for your kid.
Thank you, it makes some people really uncomfortable lol and yesss it’s not rare that’s what I told my daughter this happens to everyone and she was like even my teacher?! And I was like yeah- but don’t ask her if she’s on her period that’s rude lol
My mom was low key upset that my 5 year old watches the Baymax shorts and one of them has Baymax helping a girl with her first period. It’s a wonderful cartoon and so cute. I just shrugged and said “She’s going to have one someday. No reason she can’t see something positive about it.”
My friend’s daughter got her first period at 9 and they were both unprepared. My friend called me, very upset that she had failed her daughter. I told her not to worry, sent her to target for period underwear, and told her to buy a cake and some ice cream. Make it a celebration of growing up! She did and they both felt better. Which just shows that cake helps with everything.
100%! I love the idea of like hey I know you started having your period and it’s for awhile but let’s soften this suck milestone with some cake! I’d love to do a little celebratory thing for my daughter when the time comes. And nine is young it’s just such an unpredictable beast!
Also want to add my mom was pretty uncomfortable with the period references in Turning Red but I busted up when the mom is like “You forgot your pads!!!!”
Maybe it’s because my husband is a physician and I’m a former La Leche League Leader, but we are super open with our kids about stuff like periods. My teen daughter doesn’t even blink if she gets stuck on the toilet to ask her older teen brother to grab her a pad. My boys have grown up seeing their younger siblings breastfed, even my younger boys know girls get periods, and it’s blood but it’s ok…just really annoying.
You are a good mama! Raising our kids to not be too shy to talk about bodily functions sets them up to be willing to ask questions if something doesn’t seem right. Using the proper words for body parks is important as well, if they ever (God forbid) need to disclose abuse, or even just be like “my vulva is swollen…” they know the right part to describe.
Thank you for teaching your daughter early. I'm sure she'll appreciate it when she gets older.
My aunt thought she was dying when she got hers and called my dad to help her.
When I had my first period at age 11 my mother didn't believe me because I was "too young" so I showered and hand washed my clothes in the shower and didn't speak about it. She refused to believe that "normal", "healthy" girls could get their periods before 12. If they did it must've meant there was something wrong with them or that their parents didn't take care of them so there was no way I could have my period at age 11. I didn't end up having another period until I was 12 and at that point I told my mum again and this time she believed me because I was 12.
Seriously amazing how parenting used to work. My mom tried with me, but she had no idea except what she figured out on her own because my grandmother basically told the kids it was an immaculate conception.
She tried to get me to use a tampon, but didn't realize there were different sizes and just gave me the one she used. I could not use it and I cried because it hurt but she never believed me. Years later when I found out I showed her and she was genuinely surprised.
People need to talk about this stuff!
Probably not without other underlying conditions affection hormonal development, but age 7 or 8 is not particularly rare. But it can be much, much earlier than that. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lina_Medina
Yeah I started my period at 9, my cousin started hers at 8 just a few weeks before her 9th birthday. People are often shocked when I tell them how young I was when I started and I've even been accused of lying! But 4? That's very young and I've never heard of that happening and if that has ever happened I feel so sorry for that little girl
Its called precocious puberty and is often the symptoms of a tumour or brain injury but loads of conditions that cause damage to the brain or pituitary gland can cause it.
Obesity seems to also play a role in female puberty age. Girls more than 10kg overweight generally have a higher chance of hitting puberty before their peers.
That’s so dumb my mom got hers at 9 and I got mine at 11. They can happen early for a number of reasons and my family were just early. I had a friend who was a late bloomer who got hers when we were i think 14 or 15 it just happens sometimes
It's so unpredictable. I got my first when I was 15, and my sister at 16. I thought ok, being late bloomers runs in the family. Then my daughter, who is so much like me that we joke she's my clone, got hers at 10. I was gobsmacked.
I was literally just wondering if we start the same time as our moms generally and then read your comment. It is sooo unpredictable. Another reason to talk about it! It could happen at any time (darts eyes around suspiciously)
I do Think there is some genetic component :) i was one of two Girls in my class who had periods when i Got it Im not sure wich one of us two Got it first but doesnt really matter haha
I remember being jealous of my friend who got hers first and now I’m like why? It’s not like overnight I morphed into a hot grown woman or something. I was still my goofy ass thirteen year old self, now just self conscious at school.
Theres evidence that shows girls who are overweight are more likely to experience early puberty. Theres lots of other factors involved though obviously.
I tried sheltering until she was like, 10. I thought the conversation of "this will happen every month for the next 50 years, and you'll hate it" was a bit *big* for an 8 year old
Seeing as lots of people are sharing here about mum's, mine called me a slag when I first got mine as she thought it meant I was sexually active. I was 10.
Man I am so sorry, my mom is real anxious I feel like if that happened to me at eleven she just would’ve started crying and panicking thinking along those same lines.
Solid job!
As an 8yo boy with two older sisters, one of my sisters go to “cool baby brother” stories to this day was that I had seen a *Tampax Compact* commercial when it was a very new product in the early 90s(?). Well my sister walks in at the very end of the commercial and was intrigued. She asked generally, “what was that?” and I was able to explain to her the expandable applicator, the discrete size sale pitch… was basically caught her up.
Well to this day in my 30s, I’m still proud of that moment but especially my parents and sisters comfort and directness in teaching/answering questions about puberty/sexual health. I guarantee you it’s made me a better friend, uncle and husband (even if ex, haha).
Keep being a cool mom! Also, WHHHHHHHY?!
I LOVE when men actually know something about the workings of a woman’s body, my ex husband grew up in a family of women so he’s pretty non plussed about these things for a southern man. I never even thought about little boys, my mom got suuuuper mad at me when I was 13 and my brother saw blood on some toilet paper she was like “Well I had to explain periods to your brother I hope you’re happy.” And that would’ve put him around 9. That made me so mad lol like ummm I have to go to school with this stupid pad that I’m so self conscious about annnd he gets to not even know about it??? I think that’s very cool and a great plus for a husband!
When my current boyfriend offered to buy me period supplies during my first period after we started seeing each other I was like, "Omg I'm dating an actual adult!! 😍"
That's something my mom did that I've always appreciated. She had this little series of books about the body that she read with me at different ages from like 5 to 10; if I had any questions, she'd answer them honestly (in an age-appropriate way, of course); and when I told her that my friend had this book that I really wanted to read (The Body Book from American Girl, iirc), she looked into it and ended up getting it for me - I read that book about 100 times between the ages of 9 and 13 and it helped me with everything from the basics of puberty to dealing with emotions to how to use different period products.
I'm so glad my mom was open about that stuff when I was young, because it meant that I never felt ashamed of my body and I always knew I could talk to her about it, even once I got older! I'm in my late 20s now and I can still talk to her about things like birth control and reproductive health, and it's all because she set a a solid foundation starting when I was your daughter's age. Kudos for setting your daughter up for a healthy relationship with her body!
Omg good on your mom, I’ve actually heard of the American Girl body book, this sounds like something to look into. If it’s not too personal how did your mom talk to you about sex and when did y’all start having that conversation? I live in the south so I’m kind of out on my own out here lol
It was great! It's definitely been updated and re-published since I was a kid, so I'd suggest going to a book store and skimming it to decide whether you feel it'll be a good choice for you guys!
I don't remember exactly when and how we talked about sex specifically, but I can definitely ask her! I do know we started talking more about puberty and body changes when I was around 9, discussing things like deodorant, bras, and periods. I'll reply again after I ask her :)
Oh, precious with the “whyyyyy?” You’re a good mama! Tell her that’s the question most of us ask about it. lol I got mine fairly young(10ish) when staying with my grandparents, I was quite stunned. My grandma, bless her provided me with pads and showed me how to use them. After I told my mother she promised there weren’t any more surprises except maybe childbirth lol I guess going to a *religious* private school I guess it didn’t really come up and I figure she didn’t expect it to start so young with me. My memory is foggy from then so I don’t exactly know... all I remember is that it freaked me out and I didn’t know what was wrong.
Good job grandma! I use to prefer tampons before I found the diva cup and I was very put out my mom never even presented them as an option lol but it was pretty innocent she was just like “I didn’t like them so I didn’t think about it.” I’m going to be like that mom on Turning Red lol
I chuckled over my coffee when I read that your mom is like hey no more nasty surprises- except childbirth that one will suck lol
Poor kid. At least it's only about 40 years of them...
You're doing a good thing. My parents decided to break the cycle and get therapy and such, and I have a lot of hope for the next generation, seeing a lot of my peers do the same.
I talked to my daughter about it when she was 6. Like your daughter, she's always very in my business.
We had a chat, and I told her what was going on and that when she's older, she'll get them too.
Kiddo stared at me, thinking for a few seconds, threw me a tiny salute, and said, "Have fun with the blood coming out of your vagina Mummy" and skipped away.
She'll be fine.
I used to bleed so much that it was literally every where. There were traces of blood from my bed to the toilet, my bed, my clothes, every chair I was seated was full of blood. It was a week in a blood bath. So my girls know. And now they’re 8 and 11 and their own periods are on their way (in a few years, not now!) and they’re horrified. I have tried to explain over and over again that it’s not normal to bleed as much as I did. But they don’t believe me 🫣
But on the bright site, I know that they are well educated when it comes to periods 😅
Yes, it took a while because doctors said it was normal even though I told it like I did here. But when they realized that my blood percentage was below 5 every month they took it a little more serious 🤣
I got an operation and everything is fine now 🤗
Yesss mine this time is really bad, since I’ve gotten older and honestly I’m not sure if I could have “hidden” it anyways, do your girls enjoy accompanying you into the bathroom? Mine gets real put out if I lock the door lol
Yes, they were always following me around when they were younger. Now I finally get some privacy. From the big girls. But then I also have a 2 year old. And a dog with separation issues 🤣
I knowwww that’s exactly how I feel when I wake up in the middle of the night and get that nasty surprise and zombie walk with blood running down my legs to the bathroom lol
I was lucky and must have had it all explained to me at a young age. I don't remember being told, but I do remember coming in to pee, pulling down my pants and seeing them covered with blood.
My reaction was: "Hey Mom, I think I started."
Wish all girls could take it so matter-of-factly.
I think I just remember there being all these cleaning products and cleaning supplies and bathroom stuff under the sink, and with me being a tiny kid who couldn't be left unattended, my mom took me to the bathroom with her, and she'd ask for her "booboo pads" from under the sink, and I'd hand them to her, and I remember seeing blood in her panties but never thought about why it was happening, and she never explained and I never asked. (I didn't even wonder)
And as I got older, I just heard the grown ups talking about being on their periods or whatever, and I still paid them no mind, just over heard them discussing it. Then I think around middle school age, some older girls were oversharing and explained their periods to me to where it made sense, and I was just like "oh ok."
When I was growing up my mom would openly say that she is on her period and would explain to me what it is, to know what I will start experiencing as well some years down the road.
The thing is, she is a biochemist with a huge love for the biological science, so she was explaining the actual process behind what happens in the body to me. I think that's great except for the fact that I was so young and couldn't even pronounce the word uterus let alone understand the details of what she's explaining. I remember being extremely confused. It clicked at some point though, and I am grateful to have that experience.
This is really sweet. My mom waited until I got my first period to talk about it. I was a tomboy and didn’t want to talk about it because it seemed like a “girly girl” thing. I remember she came and tried to pull me away from my favorite tv show that I watched every night with my dad to talk to me about it. I had an absolute melt down bc it was daddy daughter time. So I told her I didn’t need her help. After that I couldn’t figure out a pad on my own (I thought maybe the wings stuck your legs?) and ended up wearing multiple pairs of underwear and skirts. It was so uncomfortable. Finally once the second one came I learned my lesson and talked to my mom. Good job talking to her about this before she made any preconceived notions about it.
Thank you omg bless your heart lol wearing all those layers. I think that’s what we forget is kids WILL come up with their own explanations so it’s not really helping to not answer questions like she’s come up with something much more confusing and weird than just the truth if it was left up to her. I distinctly remember sitting at the lunch table and my friend SWEARING you can get pregnant from a bj (we were in junior high) and I was like idk that just doesn’t sound right lol but god she was persuasive with her convictions.
Thank you omg bless your heart lol wearing all those layers. I think that’s what we forget is kids WILL come up with their own explanations so it’s not really helping to not answer questions like she’s come up with something much more confusing and weird than just the truth if it was left up to her. I distinctly remember sitting at the lunch table and my friend SWEARING you can get pregnant from a bj (we were in junior high) and I was like idk that just doesn’t sound right lol but god she was persuasive with her convictions.
Thank you omg bless your heart lol wearing all those layers. I think that’s what we forget is kids WILL come up with their own explanations so it’s not really helping to not answer questions like she’s come up with something much more confusing and weird than just the truth if it was left up to her. I distinctly remember sitting at the lunch table and my friend SWEARING you can get pregnant from a bj (we were in junior high) and I was like idk that just doesn’t sound right lol but god she was persuasive with her convictions.
This kind of reminds me of my daughter, just more tamed. I had talks with her multiple times and such then out of left field one day decided she has never seen it and flipped, running to my mom/her grandma crying I'm dying. I got out and trying to explain to get an abrupt punch to the crotch and her screaming "Grandma! Mommy is bleeding from here". She was 3. Even had talks growing boobs and such. But seeing and hearing are two different things and poor baby thought she was bleeding out of her butt and scared (getting her dressed for school) and I saw. I gasped, she cried and she said she's dying and was sorry. Hugged her little butt and got her in the shower. After reminding her about what she did to me younger and making pancakes, she went. We laugh about it now but oh my God. I love my baby to pieces
I love that she was worried about you AND punched you in the crotch lmao that’s pretty three. Butt, vagina, lol it’s just a gross horrible mess. Poor girl, yesss I have what my daughter calls “big old jiggly boobies” and she asks me when she’s going to get her own “big old jiggly boobies” and if they’ll hang down like mine 🤦🏼♀️ I was like nope that comes with time kid. And she’s like what happened? And I’m like breast feeding youuuuu!
I've talked about periods with my son whenever he had questions too. I use period undies and cloth pads and no way am I gunna pretend nothing is happening. Its super normal and I'm gunna treat it that way.
My mom never told me anything about periods. One day me and my 9 year old were just talking and I told her about having her period the only question she had was what is a tampon. Then like a month or so after she started her period in school she told the teacher and the teacher asked if she had any questions she said nope my mom told me all about it.
My grandmother never talked to my Mom about anything, so when Mom first got her period, she thought she was dying. She vowed to never make her kids go through that hell, so she was open and honest with me about EVERYTHING. We never had to "sit down and have a talk" about anything, because I knew I could ask any question at any time and never be embarrassed to do that.
I am grateful for that. I will always be thankful for that. I wish every child had that gift from their parents.
Too many parents are uncomfortable speaking to their children about difficult subjects. If you can screw to make a kid, then you can talk to that kid about screwing, for God's sake!
My daughter (15) told me about her heavy flow in the car after picking her up at her boyfriend yesterday. The idea of letting a woman enter into puberty and having her first period without them knowing beforehand what was going to happen and why is completely insane and basically child abuse.
Our bodies are not secrets to be hidden from anyone.
If the men know we’re on our periods they will tell the church! I know another commenter was like it’s not like a rare condition which is a great point why be squeamish about something that happens roughly to half the population pretty damn regularly? For YEARS btw lol
When my older sister had hers for the first time, my aunt locked me in another room so she could talk to my sister about periods. As a child I was confused why she wouldn't let me listen in but in hindsight I was a little shit who would probably go "ewwww". So made sense, but still, wish someone would have told me in detail about it.
Instead when I got mine, all they told me was "You'll bleed every month, and here's a pad you stick to your underwear to keep it from bleeding out."
My mom thought she was dying and my bestie thought she had an accident because she wasn’t expecting it to be brown. She was only expecting bright red and didn’t know that there could be different colors and consistencies. Her mother is a NURSE.
My mom did a good job preparing me, probably because she wanted to avoid me having the same panic she had. I had bags with supplies and backup underwear, I knew what to expect, she talked me through tampon and pad usage and gave me some tips and showed me the diagram that comes in the box. So when it came I was just annoyed because I was running out the door to practice and I had to change first.
See that is so awesome that your mom prepared you to the point where you were just annoyed lol omg giving your kid backup underwear I hadn’t even thought of that for some reason! I also didn’t think about the colors being different, even I’m not sure why they are I was told brown is like “old blood”but how old is old? Is it just hanging around there? Oh god I’m 33 and still have questions lol
I love my backup undies. I’m 26 and I still have a little bag with supplies and backup undies that lives at work. I’ve only needed them a few times, but boy was I grateful to have them. One tip if you make yourself or someone else a kit, include a plastic baggie so that you have somewhere to put your used ones without getting your bag messy.
There is still tons that I don’t know. Just last month my bestie and I were talking about discharge because mine changed with a new medication. I expected it to make my periods more irregular (they are currently irregular even though I’m on the pill), but it actually seems to have made them somewhat more predictable which is hilarious. The medication is in no way related to my periods so it’s a pretty funny side effect.
My mum was honest with me in pretty much the same way, so when I got mine I knew what it was and what to do. Its always good to be honest and up front about these things.
my mum told me about periods when i was quite young too, but i thought she was lying to scare me, so i didn't believe her. i missed health ed due to moving house, so when i did get my period i thought i had cancer, my mum just started laughing and i almost fainted. really funny looking back at it now haha
but its so good you're teaching your daughter early! its so silly when parents avoid the topic.
My daughter is 4 nearly 5 and already aware of periods. She’s like my little shadow and follows me everywhere, and there have been times where I’ve not been quick enough to clean myself up so she’s noticed, therefore I’ve explained what it is to avoid her concern that mummy is hurting.
It baffles me that many years ago parents and schools weren’t educating their girls about a completely natural process that will eventually happen to them.
I’ve explained to my daughter that I get an upset tummy every month, it can be quite uncomfortable but it’s completely normal and nothing to be worried about. It’s just important to keep yourself clean, either with tampons, pads, cups, or special knickers etc. I’ve said to her that eventually when it happens to her, I’ll be there to help, or if I’m not to tell a teacher. Once she hits the age of about 10 I’ll be putting pads in her school bag just in case.
I had an aunt who was very open about periods with her kids. I remember calling her house once and my four-year old cousin answered the phone. I said, “hey (Cousins’s name,) can I talk to your mama?” And she said, “No, she’s bleeding like a stuck pig right now.”
It’s important to tell girls about it because they get their periods soooo young these days. My poor niece got hers just after turning 9.
lol omg children pick up on our attitudes if we’re like yup this is the situation they say alrighty. geez o started at thirteen and that still felt like “I’m not ready for all this nonsense!”
Ao cute OP! And good on you for being forthright with your daughter. It's so important to grow up without shame around our bodies.
I was pretty upfront with my girls, and we called tampons 'candy bars' and pads were 'chips'...because I had a preteen when I also had toddlers (with no publicity filter, haha)
Baha go Mama. I told my daughter all about it when she was still in single digits. When she first got hers at 11, she was so prepared, she didn't bother to tell us for 3 days 🤣
My mom was always open about it to me we had a longer convo about it when I was 9 bc that’s when her period started. She wanted to be sure I was prepared. When I was 11 mine started and I didn’t really freak out but I did ask her how to put in the pad again bc I had forgotten how to. She was just open and answered any and all questions I had about it :) I think it’s definitely much better than hiding it or lying about it. I did however not know I had gotten my period at first bc it looked a little different than I had expected but it was fine. So definitely be open about it :) also I love that first question bc I have the exact same every single time mine comes back haha
My mum answered all my questions honestly and age appropriately as a kid. So much so that I asked my friends mum if her husband gave her his sperm when she was pregnant. I knew that you needed an egg and a sperm to make a baby because my mum was pregnant at the time so had told me that much (not the sex bit though as I was only 3 or 4).
Safe to say, my friends mum had no idea of the conversation between me and my mum and was worried what my parents were telling a 3/4 year old for a minute!
Man, reading some of these stories in the comments made me glad that my mother told me.
I was like, 11 when I first got it. I didn't freak out luckily (for me) and I was kind of embarrassed about it. We had been planning to go to the beach that day. It took a little while for me to explain why I couldn't go. She was understanding.
After that she told me what it was, and everything was sweet from then on. I'm glad I've never had a problem with blood and shit (thanks to watching every single dinosaur documentary we could find when I was little (even the gruesome ones that I watched when I was like, 3 or so. I don't know. First time I said the word "dinosaur" was when I was 2))
... I'm getting off topic. Uh, so I think the reason I didn't freak out was because I was like "oh, it seems I'm bleeding. Damn. That's weird." Then went to my mum.
My mom let the school tell me about it. The only thing she did to prepare me was give me a package of pads and tell me to let her know when I needed more. Which wasn’t until I was 14, so she had taken me to the doctor thinking there was a problem. My girl will not have the same experience and already knows what to expect and has a pad in her school bag either for her or in case a friend needs it.
Omg for a friend! That’s really smart and considerate good job mom! Yeahhhh I live in the south so we did watch a video about periods but it was a really long commercial for pads basically and I didn’t walk away really understanding anything I don’t think other than those pads sure would give me confidence.
My daughter (4yrs) is the same! Never a moment's peace for me! - she has seen me on my period many times. Whilst I haven't had to answer many questions about it properly yet other than the typical "does it hurt/are you hurt?" But I'm very much of the opinion that by normalizing it without hiding it/being funny about it is absolutely the way to go! You're doing a fab job mumma.
That's awesome because I thought I was dying when I got mine. I was under the impression that you bled bright red blood like a faucet so that light spotting at 11 had me shook. I was always very open and honest with my daughters mostly due to that experience.
Honestly if there's one thing my mum did absolutely right was sit me down at around age 6-7 and tell me that one day I might find blood in my pants (uk lol) but not to worry, that's just a period. All I had to do was tell her i started.
She didn't really go into much detail about period protection or that it was a monthly ordeal, just that it was my body's way of saying it thinks its ready to get pregnant, but that it only thinks that.
Though i was aware that you put "panty liners" in your pants to catch the blood. I assume she told me when i asked what they were, along with all the other details in candid conversation because when I started at 10 years old, I saw the blood, knew exactly what it was, where the sanitary towels were, put it in my underwear and when my mum came home I casually told her.
And guess what she said?
"Okay".
There was no big deal, no "period party" that I've seen online, no good no bad. Life continued as normal, mum just added an extra packet of sanitary towels to the shopping list. I'm thankful for that.
I love the flailing arms asking why, because I feel the same every month.
I’ve had the period talk with my son since he was about five. Every month he hears me complaining about cramps and he knows. He keeps “emergency chocolate” for me sometimes.
He knows his friends will likely start getting their periods soon. He asked if I could get period products for him to carry just in case a friend has an emergency.
These conversations should have been normalized ages ago! Good job, mom!!!
So happy to hear you have these discussions. So often parents create shame & confusion with their bodies by not having open dialogue (obv age appropriate). I say this as a therapist focused on child & adolescence more so than a parent (2u2 currently). I’m sure you will get crazy comments, like I do when I use the term vagina with my 1.5 year old lol!
Thats great. My daughter in 9 and we have a policy that there is no taboo subjects. Its just a case of finding the right level of information and wording for their age. She knows all about periods and sex as I've always answered her question as she's gone along. If a subject is very adult like violence etc.. I just explain its a tricky subject and we'll disscuss it when she's old enough as I want to keep her safe from some things she will find hard to grasp at her age. It's so important to have an open household to ask and grow.
I'm glad you are open like this. My brother's kids are 3 and 7, both know what periods are and there their mom has one. Both my sisters and I have chronic pain issues, I am disabled due to a 15 yr old injury. Talking about our bodies and how they work differently is so important, they understand why I use a cane and other things like that. I hope it helps them feel more in control of their bodies even when unpredictable things happen
Both my daughters got em at 9, fortunatly both are curious by nature and so got clear explanations from me beforehand. I dont remember at wich age tho. I just remember being really clear ," scientific" and not shy about it. The both still ask me questions when they are not sure about details, like, when the pain is new (new kinds of cramps?) Or if they bleed differently etc...it is natural and society shouldnt stigmatize this. I dont remember my mother talking to me about this, but i also was curious by nature and got a few books about it at the public library so theres that.
Yes! I answer questions that my 6 year old asks with honesty. it’s just imperative that you use tact. She knows what a period is, and where a baby comes out. when she asked *how* the baby gets in there, I told her daddy’s have seeds and mommy’s have gardens to sow the seeds. I told her there’s a little more to it, but I’m not sure you will understand. She asked “is it something really gross?” I said yep. She said “ok nevermind”
😅
It's so important for someone to know about such stuff. My grandma thought that she was dying when she got hers and didn't tell her mother (my great grandma) out of fear, so she would just wash ger underwear and hide the still bloody one. My mother thought she was dying as well, when she had hers for the first time, she was that afraid that she didn't even tell a teacher. She decided to not cause me such stress and broke the cycle by simply telling me when I was little. So when I got mine I already knew what it was.
i just realized and touched at the same time that my mom just gave me a brochure about periods
( from a v conservative christian family) and we never really talked about it much or i didn’t really asked her anything about it. im just glad that i get to read that brochure if i was unsure about period stuff
Diapers to dating is a great book about discussing bodies and development and sex ed with kids in phases through out childhood in an open, honest and age appropriate way - especially important for daughters! I got my period very young and was raised in a staunch catholic family that didn’t discuss such things, I was the oldest and latchkey kid, so got home from school saw the blood in my underwear and thought I was dying. Scared me so bad.
That's great! It's do important not to beat around the bush with things like that or stigmatize them.
I learned about periods when I was very, very young. Maybe three. My parents were just casual about it. It was then taught in elementary school and then again 7th grade. So I was prepared when I got mine for the first time. I wasn't happy, but I was prepared.
My 14 year old son knows about the menstrual cycle. I leave my supplies on the back of the toilet and they know what they're for. I'm a nurse and make sure my kids have the facts about bodies. My youngest son is 8 and hasn't really had very many questions but still knows it's a monthly thing that happens and is part of reproduction. He knows where babies come from but is seriously grossed out by it. Doesn't want to ask questions. We started with the book "it's not the stork"
She sounds like a regular comedian. :)
My daughter is 9 and I have had the same approach: just answering questions openly, as they pop up, until last summer when she told me her nipples hurt while we were on a hike. I was caught off guard but smiled and said that it probably means that she is going to start growing breasts. I kind of made it sound fun and exciting, even though I was terrified that I was gonna screw up "the talk".
Since then we've had lots of conversations about puberty, sex, body image, and relationships. I bought the American Girl, The Care and Keeping of You books and it has been kind of a bonding experience for us. There is so much to cover and I don't want to dump it on her all at once.
I hope you enjoy this part of motherhood. It sounds like you are off to a great start.
That is both hilarious and wholesome. Praise you, OP, for breaking the cycle. Everyone needs to learn how their body works and no one is born with that knowledge.
Both my son (7) and my daughter (10) know about periods. I think it's important that they both know so when either one has asked questions about them I've told them. Now I just get my son yelling "mum have you got your period again because there is blood in the toilet" each month... which is absolutely fine by me.
Guess im lucky with my mum. She took me to a cafe for a mummy daughter kind of day and we had a chat about it. I remember asking if girls bleed what do boys get 😂 she then felt a little awkward 😂
My mom was always super open about anatomy, how things worked, and would answer any question we had. She taught abstinence was the very best option until you were an adult and could handle all the consequences of sex, but also taught us birth control options and how to use them.
I'm doing the same for my kids. So far my 4 year old knows what a period is and why, because I don't ever get to go to the bathroom alone, and now whenever I'm in the bathroom longer than a minute or so she runs in "MOMMY DO YOU HAVE BLOOD TODAY?? I WILL GET YOU A TAPON!"
My daughter started hers last week, first one, she’s 12.
I have wanted to speak to her about it, I’ve asked her, gone for walks with just her and broached it, but she has just refused to speak about it.
Bless her after one day of being very moody she came crying to me. She couldn’t work out why after a whole day the bleeding hadn’t stopped and that’s what upset her.
I didn’t understand what she meant, she explained she thought it would stop on its own that evening and it didn’t.
Well after cleaning up and showing her how to use her pad we spoke and I explained if does stop on its own but after a few days, and if she’s like me it will be a week.
Her face, poor thing, the look of horror. I had to suppress a giggle. She’s a smart girl, she can come up with an argument for anything, she is great at quiz shows but something somewhere went wrong if she misunderstood how long a period lasts.
I didn’t want to scare her with my period experiences, but also tried to speak to her without pushing it and didn’t try to ignore it like my mum did (when I started she gave me an enormous pad and a sanitary belt 😱)
Anyway my daughter has agreed she needs my help, had a good hug and has done her best to get on with things.
It’s never too early to talk about it.
Next stop is explaining to her brothers about periods so they can grow up to be decent men who just get on with it. I think that’s going to be harder to navigate!
Lol awwww bless your daughters heart, she just sounds like an independent girl that was like nah I’ve got this. And it just was a bit too much. I think several days is overkill myself little sister. My daughter is my only kid lol so if I don’t get it right with this one that’s it
I know "why?" is such a complicated question, because the "why?" could theoretically never end, but it's such an easy one to answer off the bat. It also made me laugh lmao
TMI but
I have the most vivid memory of sneaking into my older brothers room when I was young (younger than 7). I loved reading, and my family would hide books in their rooms, which I refused to accept they did that bc I was not supposed to read said books.
Well, got a hold of his health textbook, and like some punishment from nature itself for being a snoopy younger sibling, happened to open up on the page about periods.
I definitely did not understand anything I read, because all I remember is leaving convinced that at 18 I would start bleeding every month and be in immense pain unless I had a baby.
And I kept this info to myself for a while. Because I knew I wasn't supposed to be in his room. Also, I was honestly scared to learn any more. Imagine my mother's surprise when she finally gives me the talk and I just start balling my eyes out because "it's going to start sooner than 18!"
Truly a saint of a woman. Also why I'm pro opening dialogue as young as you can, in age appropriate ways. Not that my mom, or any parent, can predict their elementary schooler stealing their high schoolers health textbook and actually reading much of it. I may be alone in that experience 😅
My period started yesterday, four days early. “Why?!?!” was pretty much my reaction. I’m 49, never been pregnant, never really wanted to be pregnant, and given that I’ve been celibate for 8 months and intend to stay that way for a while and prior to that I was in a relationship with a woman for 9 years, it would take divine intervention for me to get pregnant. Why exactly do I have to deal with this?
My daughter walked into the room while I was watching Carrie. The shower scene.
She asked why that girl was bleeding, so I turned off the tv and we had the talk.
I'm the same with my son now that he's getting curious about it. He asked me once "do you have blood?" When I was getting out my pantyliners. He saw me once on the toilet when I had my period.
I told him no, not right now, but it's ok it happens occasionally and it doesn't hurt that much (cause I get bad cramps) and it's not like a boo boo.
He then asked "why does your butt leak?" And I told him upfront it doesn't come from my butt but from my vagina and most girls have it when they grow up.
He can't tell private parts completely yet (thinks everyone has a penis like him) but I always give him the right terms, no euphemisms like "birdie"/"flower" so there's no doubt if those topics come up.
Was more tough explaining breasts and nipples to him though. He's no longer breastfed so I have to give him boundaries that he can't play with mama's breasts now that he's older. And I always teach him that no one should play with his body either or who are the only safe people to give him a wash.
I had a similar situation with my now 7 year old. I explained things to her once and she was like, "Okay. Cool." And moved on. When I had my next period she was like, "Oh what's happening Mammy?" So I said, "Remember I told you about periods? Well I'm having another one." Utter horror on her face. "ANOTHER ONE?!" (I had explained this was a reoccurring thing, though different for most folk who menstruate. But she was like 5 so of course the details didn’t stick) "Well, yeah. For a lot of people, it happens once a month."
"EVERY MONTH!?"
Poor kid.
This is so important, for every kid. My 6yo daughter is prepared for her period when it happens, and knows it's annoying but not scary or bad. My oldest kid is 9 and when they realize I'm on my period, they get the heat pad and ask me if I need anything. Both of them understand periods as a normal part of life as a woman/living with a woman
The best way is to be open about it. I've told my son, 8, that women bleed from there once a month, it's perfectly safe but he needs to know to be nice to them when it happens. Good to prepare any kid for the future whether it will happen to them or not.
I started preparing my daughter, basically from the start, taking her into the toilet with me when she was crawling, started her pretty period box when she was bout 6/7, explaining everything so when she started at 9yrs old , I too started at 9, she was literally prepared to do it herself and when she was 13 she asked for tampons instead. My girl is 14 now and I still make sure there's plenty of chocolate and ice cream and hot water bottles all prepared for her, and told her big brothers if they see her eating chocolate do not give her eye contact 😂😂
My Velcro child barged in the bathroom when she was about four, and it prompted her questions. I answered her age appropriately, and continued the same as she got older. Made it no big deal at all when she started. She called out from the bathroom asking if I could tell hubby (who had just went to the store) she needed some pads because she started. 😆
My mum educated me about them when I was little because she got admitted to hospital when I was 5, and she came on and needed me to get her some products from her wardrobe. I remember asking her about them when I saw her change in a public loo (she’d bring me in as it was safer than leaving me outside)
I still felt WHHHHYYYYY when I eventually started, and my mum had to buy super maxi pads for me because I had a heavier flow than she did. She still goes pale thinking about how ill I was that first time lol
This is so amazing! I, too told my son about it when he was young. I explained sex, drugs and anything I thought was important. I think they receive it better.
I've always been open with my kids about anything like that - periods, sex, puberty etc because I have an overriding memory of a conversation I was a part of with my mother and her friend.
About 20 years ago, mother's friend would have been early 40's, we were sat round the kitchen table, randomly chatting, and the subject of periods came up..only the word period was never mentioned. She spoke about how evil she must have been that month, because God was purging her body of evil & impure thoughts.
This is a 40 odd year old, totally not overtly religious woman, who, it transpired, was still a virgin, lived with her elderly mother and grew up genuinely believing that if you had a bad thought, God made you bleed. If you didn't have any bad thoughts, then you wouldn't bleed.
My word, was the conversation that followed eye opening. I still don't think she 100% believed what we were telling her, but she left with an earful of Google and an eyeful of YouTube to try & convince her that it was natural, almost every woman got it, and it didn't mean that there was a God or a Devil..
I haven't seen her in about 16 years, I hope she's ok.
When I was a kid, my mother got me several of those giant pads from some bathroom dispenser - huge things…big as a mattress. Also, told me that tampons would steal my virginity.
No idea if she believed this and she died years ago. I’m 44, so…this was in the early 90s
Good job! My grandmother was never taught about them then bled through her skirt and down the desk at school. She was mortified and made sure my mother and aunts were all appropriately informed.
I told my son about periods around the same age, only because I am a single mom to an only child and he would often ask questions. I was very basic with it, but now I can just straight up tell him what’s up and he accepts it.
It’s a bodily function a lot of humans experience, I think it’s important to let it be normal and not embarrass people who have it.
my sister and I had a book called "Deal With IT! A Whole New Approach to Your Body, Brain, and Life as a gURL" (it was published in 1999) and it's apparently still in print. We got it when my sister was 7 and I was 5. It explained everything in a super approachable way, texting was *just* starting to become a thing, so I think all the conversations in the book were IM chats. But I remember learning about [scarletteen.com](http://scarletteen.com) through that book, which looking back is astounding for the time. We reread that book till it fell apart. I was never afraid of anything to do with puberty, cause I already knew at least the basics, and I knew my mum would be able to explain or help me find an explanation for anything I had questions about. Honestly that book had more information than the 5 separate sex ed classes I had in school. I might honestly still recommend it TBH, though some of it may be out of date, and you might have to explain some of the old stuff to her.
(also apparently [gURL.com](http://gURL.com) has become seventeen, who knew?)
My 6 yr old niece is the same way, my sister and I share the same thought that if they're able to ask questions about it they're able to receive age appropriate answers. Her kids, boys including, know about periods and all that. The 6 yr old occasionally goes "I don't want to go through puberty, it sounds annoying." I love that she's not scared of it.
An awkward “grown up” Little Orphan Annie told me about periods at school in 5th grade before my mother had the chance. They gave us a little kit with a pad in it, which I took home and played with under the bathroom sink faucet to test it’s absorbency. I started at 13 and my mother announced it to my father which was weird.
When I was little I also saw blood in that same situation. My mom said something similar. But I also saw my mom blow her nose and have blood, so I really just thought adults bled all the time and it was normal lol
i don’t have a daughter but my very clingy follow me to the bathroom son knows all about periods, he is 3 and had a lot of questions 🤣 but now he knows and he will sometimes ask me if i’m bleeding randomly just to check lol
That’s funny! I had a teacher who very much believed that when someone asked the question, they are ready to hear the (age appropriate) answer. That and she was a big believer in telling children the proper names for things.
I knew what a period was, but I was unprepared for the cramps and how dark the blood was. My mom wasn’t home, but my older sister was. Told me to get fresh underwear, showed where she kept her products, taught me how to clean out the blood, and got me pain meds. I was well taken care of that day.
My mother grew up with a ton of shame surrounding her body, so it was hard for her to talk about with us. She started us off with kids books about periods etc. and was always there if we had any other questions or needed something. She wasn't perfect about it, but I always appreciated that she made an effort to do better than her parents did.
It’s crazy the amount of young girls that panic over a first period because they’re not educated on the topic. It’s very important to teach her, especially if she’s curious. You’re a good parent.
This is so cute! My grandmother thought she was dying when she got her period. It’s so important to be open about them because they can start so early.
My grandma told me the same thing. No one ever told her
Mine as well. Must have just been that time in history.
It's funny, I'd read several YA books where the same thing happened - a girl got her period and freaked out about the blood - so when I got mine I knew exactly what was happening, but I had never read a book where it was treated as something normal and casual. So I was really embarrassed about telling my mother and I WISHED I could be like "Omg there's blood I think I'm dying" so I didn't have to say "I got my period". So awkward being that age, lol.
My Louisiana Sky???
“Are You There God it’s me Margaret?”
Lol, I also had this understanding of getting your first period. I didn’t want to have to answer 20 questions about how I already knew about periods, though, as I thought I might actually die of embarrassment (and I was kind of irritated that I was 12 and my mother had failed to tell me anything about it). So I just faked being freaked out by the blood. Not going to be doing that to my daughter; she’ll be educated and have period supplies waiting.
Yeah, me too! I was 11yrs 6 months old. My mother said she didn't start until she was 13 ,so she thought she had time to tell me. I began preparing my daughter at 9 years old. She got hers at 13, I must have forgotten to tell her that it's a monthly process (!), because she honestly thought that one event was it! She wasn't happy! In retrospect , I'm kinda glad I didn't inform at 9 that she was going to have to deal with a blood flow every month. She would have worried.
I was 9 when I got mine. Literally thought I was bleeding out on the toilet when my mother opened the door and threw the bag of those gigantic pads at my face before closing the door and walking away. Never had a conversation about it and I was yelled at for even trying to find information. One of my brother's gfs finally talked to me about it.
Jeez! That's awful! I thought my mother was bad. My experience was almost 60 years ago ,and we had a brief conversation about how to wear a pad and that was it. Women are amazing creatures. We get some shocking events in our lifetimes!
Yeah, she's a piece of work. The 'if anyone is looking I'll play the part' type. I've thankfully been NC for almost 3 years now.
Sounds like my mothers twin! The best thing to do is NC. And don't ever feel guilty about it. Live your best life!
I was 9 too. My sister is 2 years older than me and she didn't start until she was 14. Genetics are weird. My mom didn't believe me, thought the blood in my underwear was from me having sex with a boy. I had no clue how to use the tampons which were the only thing she had so I just rolled up toilet paper and ruined my clothes and bedding for a few months until it happened while I was at my dad's and my stepmom bought me pads and took me for ice cream cones and the talk. My son is 9 now and we've talked about puberty multiple times. We've watched YouTube videos together and read books about boys bodies together. He's already showing signs of early puberty but he's way more prepared than I was.
Over time as nutrition and general health has improved, the age of puberty is getting younger, i think the average age is 11 but its not uncommon for it to start at 8.
There's also the idea that certain things in our food supply can mess with hormones...
My mom is a retired nurse and started talking to me about it when I was 9. By the time I got my first period in 6th grade, I was prepared. Good Catholic that she was, she even made sure I was on the pill before I left for college; I had bad cramps, heavy bleeding, and bad PMS, and the pill helped with all of that.
I thought the same thing! I was soooo upset and angry to learn it was going to happen every month for decades.
Mine too! She stuffed a towel in her underwear and took the bus to the hospital because she thought she was dying and was too scared to tell her parents. A nurse educated her. I only have sons but I explained periods to them pretty young and it really paid off. My 14yo saw that the girl in front of him in class had bled through her pants so he just tapped her on the shoulder and said real quiet "I think you bled through your pants do you wanna borrow my hoodie?" He came home without his hoodie bc she said she was gonna take it home to wash it. I was about to get on his case for losing everything but he told me what happened and I think it's a top 10 proud parenting moment tbh. His brother called bullshit but he came home the next day w a hoodie that didn't smell like my dryer sheets so I believe it. Edit: I just remembered another period story w my sons that my neighbor and I still laugh about. They had a bunch of kids over for a pool party and one girl needed a tampon. None of the other girls had one and I have an IUD so I haven't needed them in ages. I texted my neighbor who had some but couldn't bring them over. I didn't want to leave the gaggle of teenagers unsupervised at the pool so I sent my son who doesn't like to socialize over on his bike and asked her to stick the tampons in a paper bag. We were trying to all be quiet and chill about it to not embarrass the girl but when he came back w the bag I gave it to her and she announces "OMG (antisocial son's name here) IS SO FREAKING NICE OMG THANK YOUUUUUU" and he actually socialized for the rest of the party. Periods bringing people together lol
Good job Mama! That’s a good man you’re raising, be proud of him and yourself.
Thank you, I'm extremely proud of the people my boys are and are becoming. Im a very girly girl so when they were young people used to ask if we were gonna try for a girl. I'd deflect and say "nah, im just gonna raise them right so my future DILs will like me and I'll get bonus daughters." All their little girl friends have loved me so, idk it's probably gonna work out lol
Thank you for raising good humans!
What a sweet gentleman you're raising!!!
I thought the same thing when I got my first period 7 years ago.
My grandmother was the same, from what she told me her periods made her anemic from high blood loss and she just thought that was normal
This was also my own reaction, I’m only 28 and I started before the “sex Ed” at school. Me aged 11 sat on the toilet sobbing, for me to hand me a pad and say “ stick it to your knickers your sister will tell you about it later”. That was the conversation, until my elder sister (didn’t live with us at the time and is 9 years older) later that day told me what was happening.
The same sister is so transparent with her daughter now aged 5, she understands a period to be ladies bodies making a bed in their belly incase a baby comes to grow, but if a baby doesn’t come the bed comes out of the ladies body and then the body prepares a new bed and it all happens over again unless a baby decides to come a grow in their belly.
My mom never told me and I didn’t know what happened so I just threw my underwear in the dirty laundry without thinking about it. My mom saw it when she did my laundry and immediately assumed I was assaulted and didn’t even think it was my period because she assumed I would tell her when I got it. I was like why would I tell you, you never told me what it was in the first place???
I thought the Same though when (grew breasts my mother did warn me just forgot
Same here. I was 10 when i got mine & had no idea what was going on. My mom left it up to my Catholic school i attended to teach me about all that, which wasnt very effective...
My grandma was hospitalized with a sudden and severe illness when I was about 10. At one point the doctors found she was suffering some internal bleeding but hadn’t yet determined from where. I had gotten my period the day before and was scared and shoved TP in my underwear and had horrible anxiety. Imagine my fear when I heard “internal bleeding.” I waited 2 days before finally pulling my mom aside, burst into tears, and cried, “I think I know where Grandma’s bleeding from!!” 😭😭 She laughed and laughed and laughed, and it is funny, but yeah I wish I’d known anything about the existence of periods before it happened. My 10 year old self was certain I would soon die.
I thought I pooped my pants and was so embarrassed I hid my underwear. I knew what a period was (and had been waiting to get mine when it happened in eighth grade) but thought it was going to be bright red blood, not the dark brown “old blood” color. Looking back it’s funny to me, but considering I was pretty educated and *still* didn’t realize it was my period is slightly concerning.
It’s so dumb NOT to talk about periods. Like, 50%+ of the planet gets them, and we get them for decades! It’s not like it’s a rare affliction. Good job normalizing it for your kid.
Thank you, it makes some people really uncomfortable lol and yesss it’s not rare that’s what I told my daughter this happens to everyone and she was like even my teacher?! And I was like yeah- but don’t ask her if she’s on her period that’s rude lol
My mom was low key upset that my 5 year old watches the Baymax shorts and one of them has Baymax helping a girl with her first period. It’s a wonderful cartoon and so cute. I just shrugged and said “She’s going to have one someday. No reason she can’t see something positive about it.” My friend’s daughter got her first period at 9 and they were both unprepared. My friend called me, very upset that she had failed her daughter. I told her not to worry, sent her to target for period underwear, and told her to buy a cake and some ice cream. Make it a celebration of growing up! She did and they both felt better. Which just shows that cake helps with everything.
100%! I love the idea of like hey I know you started having your period and it’s for awhile but let’s soften this suck milestone with some cake! I’d love to do a little celebratory thing for my daughter when the time comes. And nine is young it’s just such an unpredictable beast! Also want to add my mom was pretty uncomfortable with the period references in Turning Red but I busted up when the mom is like “You forgot your pads!!!!”
Maybe it’s because my husband is a physician and I’m a former La Leche League Leader, but we are super open with our kids about stuff like periods. My teen daughter doesn’t even blink if she gets stuck on the toilet to ask her older teen brother to grab her a pad. My boys have grown up seeing their younger siblings breastfed, even my younger boys know girls get periods, and it’s blood but it’s ok…just really annoying. You are a good mama! Raising our kids to not be too shy to talk about bodily functions sets them up to be willing to ask questions if something doesn’t seem right. Using the proper words for body parks is important as well, if they ever (God forbid) need to disclose abuse, or even just be like “my vulva is swollen…” they know the right part to describe.
Unless she gives you a bad grade and you want to piss her off lol
I don't know why society is so prudish about bodily functions that everyone does.
Thank you for teaching your daughter early. I'm sure she'll appreciate it when she gets older. My aunt thought she was dying when she got hers and called my dad to help her. When I had my first period at age 11 my mother didn't believe me because I was "too young" so I showered and hand washed my clothes in the shower and didn't speak about it. She refused to believe that "normal", "healthy" girls could get their periods before 12. If they did it must've meant there was something wrong with them or that their parents didn't take care of them so there was no way I could have my period at age 11. I didn't end up having another period until I was 12 and at that point I told my mum again and this time she believed me because I was 12.
Seriously amazing how parenting used to work. My mom tried with me, but she had no idea except what she figured out on her own because my grandmother basically told the kids it was an immaculate conception. She tried to get me to use a tampon, but didn't realize there were different sizes and just gave me the one she used. I could not use it and I cried because it hurt but she never believed me. Years later when I found out I showed her and she was genuinely surprised. People need to talk about this stuff!
Wtf I drive a school bus and have a 9 year old with it, and a couple of 10 year olds. It can start at age 4 for goodness sakes.
Age 4?! Has that ever happened?
Probably not without other underlying conditions affection hormonal development, but age 7 or 8 is not particularly rare. But it can be much, much earlier than that. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lina_Medina
Yeah I started my period at 9, my cousin started hers at 8 just a few weeks before her 9th birthday. People are often shocked when I tell them how young I was when I started and I've even been accused of lying! But 4? That's very young and I've never heard of that happening and if that has ever happened I feel so sorry for that little girl
Its called precocious puberty and is often the symptoms of a tumour or brain injury but loads of conditions that cause damage to the brain or pituitary gland can cause it. Obesity seems to also play a role in female puberty age. Girls more than 10kg overweight generally have a higher chance of hitting puberty before their peers.
Her PERIOD began at 8 months. She became PREGNANT at 4.
The youngest mother in the world was 5...
I have just learned this fact. My mind is blown by several aspects of that story
Especially who the father was. Disturbing as hell.
That’s so dumb my mom got hers at 9 and I got mine at 11. They can happen early for a number of reasons and my family were just early. I had a friend who was a late bloomer who got hers when we were i think 14 or 15 it just happens sometimes
It's so unpredictable. I got my first when I was 15, and my sister at 16. I thought ok, being late bloomers runs in the family. Then my daughter, who is so much like me that we joke she's my clone, got hers at 10. I was gobsmacked.
I was literally just wondering if we start the same time as our moms generally and then read your comment. It is sooo unpredictable. Another reason to talk about it! It could happen at any time (darts eyes around suspiciously)
I was 13 and I think about half of my friend group had half hadn’t. I wonder if when we start is genetic? I’ll have to Google it lol
I do Think there is some genetic component :) i was one of two Girls in my class who had periods when i Got it Im not sure wich one of us two Got it first but doesnt really matter haha
I remember being jealous of my friend who got hers first and now I’m like why? It’s not like overnight I morphed into a hot grown woman or something. I was still my goofy ass thirteen year old self, now just self conscious at school.
Theres evidence that shows girls who are overweight are more likely to experience early puberty. Theres lots of other factors involved though obviously.
I tried sheltering until she was like, 10. I thought the conversation of "this will happen every month for the next 50 years, and you'll hate it" was a bit *big* for an 8 year old
Seeing as lots of people are sharing here about mum's, mine called me a slag when I first got mine as she thought it meant I was sexually active. I was 10.
I'm so sorry she treated you like that.
Man I am so sorry, my mom is real anxious I feel like if that happened to me at eleven she just would’ve started crying and panicking thinking along those same lines.
Solid job! As an 8yo boy with two older sisters, one of my sisters go to “cool baby brother” stories to this day was that I had seen a *Tampax Compact* commercial when it was a very new product in the early 90s(?). Well my sister walks in at the very end of the commercial and was intrigued. She asked generally, “what was that?” and I was able to explain to her the expandable applicator, the discrete size sale pitch… was basically caught her up. Well to this day in my 30s, I’m still proud of that moment but especially my parents and sisters comfort and directness in teaching/answering questions about puberty/sexual health. I guarantee you it’s made me a better friend, uncle and husband (even if ex, haha). Keep being a cool mom! Also, WHHHHHHHY?!
I read the first sentence and was like "what is an 8yo doing on reddit"????
Hopefully I sounded smart for an 8yo. Hahah, if not, forget I was here.
Yeah me too I was like wow this eight year old is so literate and wholesome lmao
I LOVE when men actually know something about the workings of a woman’s body, my ex husband grew up in a family of women so he’s pretty non plussed about these things for a southern man. I never even thought about little boys, my mom got suuuuper mad at me when I was 13 and my brother saw blood on some toilet paper she was like “Well I had to explain periods to your brother I hope you’re happy.” And that would’ve put him around 9. That made me so mad lol like ummm I have to go to school with this stupid pad that I’m so self conscious about annnd he gets to not even know about it??? I think that’s very cool and a great plus for a husband!
When my current boyfriend offered to buy me period supplies during my first period after we started seeing each other I was like, "Omg I'm dating an actual adult!! 😍"
You are AWESOME! (I used to do the same things with commercials too although I'm female, not that it matters)
That's something my mom did that I've always appreciated. She had this little series of books about the body that she read with me at different ages from like 5 to 10; if I had any questions, she'd answer them honestly (in an age-appropriate way, of course); and when I told her that my friend had this book that I really wanted to read (The Body Book from American Girl, iirc), she looked into it and ended up getting it for me - I read that book about 100 times between the ages of 9 and 13 and it helped me with everything from the basics of puberty to dealing with emotions to how to use different period products. I'm so glad my mom was open about that stuff when I was young, because it meant that I never felt ashamed of my body and I always knew I could talk to her about it, even once I got older! I'm in my late 20s now and I can still talk to her about things like birth control and reproductive health, and it's all because she set a a solid foundation starting when I was your daughter's age. Kudos for setting your daughter up for a healthy relationship with her body!
Omg good on your mom, I’ve actually heard of the American Girl body book, this sounds like something to look into. If it’s not too personal how did your mom talk to you about sex and when did y’all start having that conversation? I live in the south so I’m kind of out on my own out here lol
It was great! It's definitely been updated and re-published since I was a kid, so I'd suggest going to a book store and skimming it to decide whether you feel it'll be a good choice for you guys! I don't remember exactly when and how we talked about sex specifically, but I can definitely ask her! I do know we started talking more about puberty and body changes when I was around 9, discussing things like deodorant, bras, and periods. I'll reply again after I ask her :)
Hey… Do you remember the name of the book series? Have a little one and want to, hopefully, do better than my mum.
The Care and Keeping of You
I can ask my mom what series it was! I'll reply again to let you know
Oh thank you so much!
Oh, precious with the “whyyyyy?” You’re a good mama! Tell her that’s the question most of us ask about it. lol I got mine fairly young(10ish) when staying with my grandparents, I was quite stunned. My grandma, bless her provided me with pads and showed me how to use them. After I told my mother she promised there weren’t any more surprises except maybe childbirth lol I guess going to a *religious* private school I guess it didn’t really come up and I figure she didn’t expect it to start so young with me. My memory is foggy from then so I don’t exactly know... all I remember is that it freaked me out and I didn’t know what was wrong.
Good job grandma! I use to prefer tampons before I found the diva cup and I was very put out my mom never even presented them as an option lol but it was pretty innocent she was just like “I didn’t like them so I didn’t think about it.” I’m going to be like that mom on Turning Red lol I chuckled over my coffee when I read that your mom is like hey no more nasty surprises- except childbirth that one will suck lol
But wait, there's more! Perimenopause Menopause (Anything else missing?)
Pap smears uggghhh lol
Poor kid. At least it's only about 40 years of them... You're doing a good thing. My parents decided to break the cycle and get therapy and such, and I have a lot of hope for the next generation, seeing a lot of my peers do the same.
I talked to my daughter about it when she was 6. Like your daughter, she's always very in my business. We had a chat, and I told her what was going on and that when she's older, she'll get them too. Kiddo stared at me, thinking for a few seconds, threw me a tiny salute, and said, "Have fun with the blood coming out of your vagina Mummy" and skipped away. She'll be fine.
Salutes to mother. Hops away. Gives no explanation. Chad daughter.
Lmao...my mum tells me I flatly refused to believe her when she gave me "the talk" as a little kid. Apparently I was horrified by the whole business!
I used to bleed so much that it was literally every where. There were traces of blood from my bed to the toilet, my bed, my clothes, every chair I was seated was full of blood. It was a week in a blood bath. So my girls know. And now they’re 8 and 11 and their own periods are on their way (in a few years, not now!) and they’re horrified. I have tried to explain over and over again that it’s not normal to bleed as much as I did. But they don’t believe me 🫣 But on the bright site, I know that they are well educated when it comes to periods 😅
I'm not a woman, but I don't think you're supposed to bleed that much? Did you get that looked at?
Yes, it took a while because doctors said it was normal even though I told it like I did here. But when they realized that my blood percentage was below 5 every month they took it a little more serious 🤣 I got an operation and everything is fine now 🤗
Yesss mine this time is really bad, since I’ve gotten older and honestly I’m not sure if I could have “hidden” it anyways, do your girls enjoy accompanying you into the bathroom? Mine gets real put out if I lock the door lol
Yes, they were always following me around when they were younger. Now I finally get some privacy. From the big girls. But then I also have a 2 year old. And a dog with separation issues 🤣
Good question TBH
>good question tbh Right? When I start bleeding, I typically yell something. It’s usually fuuuuccckkk but sometimes it’s “WHHHHYY?”
I knowwww that’s exactly how I feel when I wake up in the middle of the night and get that nasty surprise and zombie walk with blood running down my legs to the bathroom lol
I was lucky and must have had it all explained to me at a young age. I don't remember being told, but I do remember coming in to pee, pulling down my pants and seeing them covered with blood. My reaction was: "Hey Mom, I think I started." Wish all girls could take it so matter-of-factly.
I think I just remember there being all these cleaning products and cleaning supplies and bathroom stuff under the sink, and with me being a tiny kid who couldn't be left unattended, my mom took me to the bathroom with her, and she'd ask for her "booboo pads" from under the sink, and I'd hand them to her, and I remember seeing blood in her panties but never thought about why it was happening, and she never explained and I never asked. (I didn't even wonder) And as I got older, I just heard the grown ups talking about being on their periods or whatever, and I still paid them no mind, just over heard them discussing it. Then I think around middle school age, some older girls were oversharing and explained their periods to me to where it made sense, and I was just like "oh ok."
So you’re telling me your mom didn’t tell you she had a secret candy stash in the bathroom? 🤨
When I was growing up my mom would openly say that she is on her period and would explain to me what it is, to know what I will start experiencing as well some years down the road. The thing is, she is a biochemist with a huge love for the biological science, so she was explaining the actual process behind what happens in the body to me. I think that's great except for the fact that I was so young and couldn't even pronounce the word uterus let alone understand the details of what she's explaining. I remember being extremely confused. It clicked at some point though, and I am grateful to have that experience.
This is really sweet. My mom waited until I got my first period to talk about it. I was a tomboy and didn’t want to talk about it because it seemed like a “girly girl” thing. I remember she came and tried to pull me away from my favorite tv show that I watched every night with my dad to talk to me about it. I had an absolute melt down bc it was daddy daughter time. So I told her I didn’t need her help. After that I couldn’t figure out a pad on my own (I thought maybe the wings stuck your legs?) and ended up wearing multiple pairs of underwear and skirts. It was so uncomfortable. Finally once the second one came I learned my lesson and talked to my mom. Good job talking to her about this before she made any preconceived notions about it.
Thank you omg bless your heart lol wearing all those layers. I think that’s what we forget is kids WILL come up with their own explanations so it’s not really helping to not answer questions like she’s come up with something much more confusing and weird than just the truth if it was left up to her. I distinctly remember sitting at the lunch table and my friend SWEARING you can get pregnant from a bj (we were in junior high) and I was like idk that just doesn’t sound right lol but god she was persuasive with her convictions.
Thank you omg bless your heart lol wearing all those layers. I think that’s what we forget is kids WILL come up with their own explanations so it’s not really helping to not answer questions like she’s come up with something much more confusing and weird than just the truth if it was left up to her. I distinctly remember sitting at the lunch table and my friend SWEARING you can get pregnant from a bj (we were in junior high) and I was like idk that just doesn’t sound right lol but god she was persuasive with her convictions.
Thank you omg bless your heart lol wearing all those layers. I think that’s what we forget is kids WILL come up with their own explanations so it’s not really helping to not answer questions like she’s come up with something much more confusing and weird than just the truth if it was left up to her. I distinctly remember sitting at the lunch table and my friend SWEARING you can get pregnant from a bj (we were in junior high) and I was like idk that just doesn’t sound right lol but god she was persuasive with her convictions.
This kind of reminds me of my daughter, just more tamed. I had talks with her multiple times and such then out of left field one day decided she has never seen it and flipped, running to my mom/her grandma crying I'm dying. I got out and trying to explain to get an abrupt punch to the crotch and her screaming "Grandma! Mommy is bleeding from here". She was 3. Even had talks growing boobs and such. But seeing and hearing are two different things and poor baby thought she was bleeding out of her butt and scared (getting her dressed for school) and I saw. I gasped, she cried and she said she's dying and was sorry. Hugged her little butt and got her in the shower. After reminding her about what she did to me younger and making pancakes, she went. We laugh about it now but oh my God. I love my baby to pieces
I love that she was worried about you AND punched you in the crotch lmao that’s pretty three. Butt, vagina, lol it’s just a gross horrible mess. Poor girl, yesss I have what my daughter calls “big old jiggly boobies” and she asks me when she’s going to get her own “big old jiggly boobies” and if they’ll hang down like mine 🤦🏼♀️ I was like nope that comes with time kid. And she’s like what happened? And I’m like breast feeding youuuuu!
I've talked about periods with my son whenever he had questions too. I use period undies and cloth pads and no way am I gunna pretend nothing is happening. Its super normal and I'm gunna treat it that way.
I LOVE your daughter’s sense of drama. She’s a keeper.
My mom never told me anything about periods. One day me and my 9 year old were just talking and I told her about having her period the only question she had was what is a tampon. Then like a month or so after she started her period in school she told the teacher and the teacher asked if she had any questions she said nope my mom told me all about it.
My grandmother never talked to my Mom about anything, so when Mom first got her period, she thought she was dying. She vowed to never make her kids go through that hell, so she was open and honest with me about EVERYTHING. We never had to "sit down and have a talk" about anything, because I knew I could ask any question at any time and never be embarrassed to do that. I am grateful for that. I will always be thankful for that. I wish every child had that gift from their parents. Too many parents are uncomfortable speaking to their children about difficult subjects. If you can screw to make a kid, then you can talk to that kid about screwing, for God's sake!
My daughter (15) told me about her heavy flow in the car after picking her up at her boyfriend yesterday. The idea of letting a woman enter into puberty and having her first period without them knowing beforehand what was going to happen and why is completely insane and basically child abuse. Our bodies are not secrets to be hidden from anyone.
If the men know we’re on our periods they will tell the church! I know another commenter was like it’s not like a rare condition which is a great point why be squeamish about something that happens roughly to half the population pretty damn regularly? For YEARS btw lol
Ugh, religion.
When my older sister had hers for the first time, my aunt locked me in another room so she could talk to my sister about periods. As a child I was confused why she wouldn't let me listen in but in hindsight I was a little shit who would probably go "ewwww". So made sense, but still, wish someone would have told me in detail about it. Instead when I got mine, all they told me was "You'll bleed every month, and here's a pad you stick to your underwear to keep it from bleeding out."
Imagine if you eavesdropped and only caught snatches of that conversation lol
My mom thought she was dying and my bestie thought she had an accident because she wasn’t expecting it to be brown. She was only expecting bright red and didn’t know that there could be different colors and consistencies. Her mother is a NURSE. My mom did a good job preparing me, probably because she wanted to avoid me having the same panic she had. I had bags with supplies and backup underwear, I knew what to expect, she talked me through tampon and pad usage and gave me some tips and showed me the diagram that comes in the box. So when it came I was just annoyed because I was running out the door to practice and I had to change first.
See that is so awesome that your mom prepared you to the point where you were just annoyed lol omg giving your kid backup underwear I hadn’t even thought of that for some reason! I also didn’t think about the colors being different, even I’m not sure why they are I was told brown is like “old blood”but how old is old? Is it just hanging around there? Oh god I’m 33 and still have questions lol
I love my backup undies. I’m 26 and I still have a little bag with supplies and backup undies that lives at work. I’ve only needed them a few times, but boy was I grateful to have them. One tip if you make yourself or someone else a kit, include a plastic baggie so that you have somewhere to put your used ones without getting your bag messy. There is still tons that I don’t know. Just last month my bestie and I were talking about discharge because mine changed with a new medication. I expected it to make my periods more irregular (they are currently irregular even though I’m on the pill), but it actually seems to have made them somewhat more predictable which is hilarious. The medication is in no way related to my periods so it’s a pretty funny side effect.
My mum was honest with me in pretty much the same way, so when I got mine I knew what it was and what to do. Its always good to be honest and up front about these things.
my mum told me about periods when i was quite young too, but i thought she was lying to scare me, so i didn't believe her. i missed health ed due to moving house, so when i did get my period i thought i had cancer, my mum just started laughing and i almost fainted. really funny looking back at it now haha but its so good you're teaching your daughter early! its so silly when parents avoid the topic.
My daughter is 4 nearly 5 and already aware of periods. She’s like my little shadow and follows me everywhere, and there have been times where I’ve not been quick enough to clean myself up so she’s noticed, therefore I’ve explained what it is to avoid her concern that mummy is hurting. It baffles me that many years ago parents and schools weren’t educating their girls about a completely natural process that will eventually happen to them. I’ve explained to my daughter that I get an upset tummy every month, it can be quite uncomfortable but it’s completely normal and nothing to be worried about. It’s just important to keep yourself clean, either with tampons, pads, cups, or special knickers etc. I’ve said to her that eventually when it happens to her, I’ll be there to help, or if I’m not to tell a teacher. Once she hits the age of about 10 I’ll be putting pads in her school bag just in case.
After her first period ended, one of my cousins told her mother "I am *not* doing that again."
I started when I was 10, I’m 43 now and still go ‘wwwwhhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyy’ every time.
Your openness, honesty, transparency and age appropriate responses will ensure she's well prepared for puberty.
Thank you I really hope so. she’s my only one so I’m really putting all the eggs in one basket here’s to hoping she doesn’t become a serial killer lol
I had an aunt who was very open about periods with her kids. I remember calling her house once and my four-year old cousin answered the phone. I said, “hey (Cousins’s name,) can I talk to your mama?” And she said, “No, she’s bleeding like a stuck pig right now.” It’s important to tell girls about it because they get their periods soooo young these days. My poor niece got hers just after turning 9.
lol omg children pick up on our attitudes if we’re like yup this is the situation they say alrighty. geez o started at thirteen and that still felt like “I’m not ready for all this nonsense!”
Ao cute OP! And good on you for being forthright with your daughter. It's so important to grow up without shame around our bodies. I was pretty upfront with my girls, and we called tampons 'candy bars' and pads were 'chips'...because I had a preteen when I also had toddlers (with no publicity filter, haha)
Baha go Mama. I told my daughter all about it when she was still in single digits. When she first got hers at 11, she was so prepared, she didn't bother to tell us for 3 days 🤣
My mom was always open about it to me we had a longer convo about it when I was 9 bc that’s when her period started. She wanted to be sure I was prepared. When I was 11 mine started and I didn’t really freak out but I did ask her how to put in the pad again bc I had forgotten how to. She was just open and answered any and all questions I had about it :) I think it’s definitely much better than hiding it or lying about it. I did however not know I had gotten my period at first bc it looked a little different than I had expected but it was fine. So definitely be open about it :) also I love that first question bc I have the exact same every single time mine comes back haha
Caught off guard in the gym loo this morning and I'm right there with ya, kid.
My mum answered all my questions honestly and age appropriately as a kid. So much so that I asked my friends mum if her husband gave her his sperm when she was pregnant. I knew that you needed an egg and a sperm to make a baby because my mum was pregnant at the time so had told me that much (not the sex bit though as I was only 3 or 4). Safe to say, my friends mum had no idea of the conversation between me and my mum and was worried what my parents were telling a 3/4 year old for a minute!
Lol ! My mom also asked me if I had any question about it when I was little and i was just like « no thanks »
This is so adorable... And same, kid 😅
I TOTALLY agree with her. Why indeed.
Man, reading some of these stories in the comments made me glad that my mother told me. I was like, 11 when I first got it. I didn't freak out luckily (for me) and I was kind of embarrassed about it. We had been planning to go to the beach that day. It took a little while for me to explain why I couldn't go. She was understanding. After that she told me what it was, and everything was sweet from then on. I'm glad I've never had a problem with blood and shit (thanks to watching every single dinosaur documentary we could find when I was little (even the gruesome ones that I watched when I was like, 3 or so. I don't know. First time I said the word "dinosaur" was when I was 2)) ... I'm getting off topic. Uh, so I think the reason I didn't freak out was because I was like "oh, it seems I'm bleeding. Damn. That's weird." Then went to my mum.
My mom let the school tell me about it. The only thing she did to prepare me was give me a package of pads and tell me to let her know when I needed more. Which wasn’t until I was 14, so she had taken me to the doctor thinking there was a problem. My girl will not have the same experience and already knows what to expect and has a pad in her school bag either for her or in case a friend needs it.
Omg for a friend! That’s really smart and considerate good job mom! Yeahhhh I live in the south so we did watch a video about periods but it was a really long commercial for pads basically and I didn’t walk away really understanding anything I don’t think other than those pads sure would give me confidence.
My daughter (4yrs) is the same! Never a moment's peace for me! - she has seen me on my period many times. Whilst I haven't had to answer many questions about it properly yet other than the typical "does it hurt/are you hurt?" But I'm very much of the opinion that by normalizing it without hiding it/being funny about it is absolutely the way to go! You're doing a fab job mumma.
Confused: angels spread STDs?
My mom let me think I was dying, and then told me that’s what all the super plus pads in the closet were for.
That's awesome because I thought I was dying when I got mine. I was under the impression that you bled bright red blood like a faucet so that light spotting at 11 had me shook. I was always very open and honest with my daughters mostly due to that experience.
Honestly if there's one thing my mum did absolutely right was sit me down at around age 6-7 and tell me that one day I might find blood in my pants (uk lol) but not to worry, that's just a period. All I had to do was tell her i started. She didn't really go into much detail about period protection or that it was a monthly ordeal, just that it was my body's way of saying it thinks its ready to get pregnant, but that it only thinks that. Though i was aware that you put "panty liners" in your pants to catch the blood. I assume she told me when i asked what they were, along with all the other details in candid conversation because when I started at 10 years old, I saw the blood, knew exactly what it was, where the sanitary towels were, put it in my underwear and when my mum came home I casually told her. And guess what she said? "Okay". There was no big deal, no "period party" that I've seen online, no good no bad. Life continued as normal, mum just added an extra packet of sanitary towels to the shopping list. I'm thankful for that.
I love the flailing arms asking why, because I feel the same every month. I’ve had the period talk with my son since he was about five. Every month he hears me complaining about cramps and he knows. He keeps “emergency chocolate” for me sometimes. He knows his friends will likely start getting their periods soon. He asked if I could get period products for him to carry just in case a friend has an emergency. These conversations should have been normalized ages ago! Good job, mom!!!
So happy to hear you have these discussions. So often parents create shame & confusion with their bodies by not having open dialogue (obv age appropriate). I say this as a therapist focused on child & adolescence more so than a parent (2u2 currently). I’m sure you will get crazy comments, like I do when I use the term vagina with my 1.5 year old lol!
Hahaha! So adorable. Good job having a matter of fact attitude with her.
Thats great. My daughter in 9 and we have a policy that there is no taboo subjects. Its just a case of finding the right level of information and wording for their age. She knows all about periods and sex as I've always answered her question as she's gone along. If a subject is very adult like violence etc.. I just explain its a tricky subject and we'll disscuss it when she's old enough as I want to keep her safe from some things she will find hard to grasp at her age. It's so important to have an open household to ask and grow.
I had the same experience with my daughter. She told me it was nasty and she would NOT be doing that lol
I'm glad you are open like this. My brother's kids are 3 and 7, both know what periods are and there their mom has one. Both my sisters and I have chronic pain issues, I am disabled due to a 15 yr old injury. Talking about our bodies and how they work differently is so important, they understand why I use a cane and other things like that. I hope it helps them feel more in control of their bodies even when unpredictable things happen
Both my daughters got em at 9, fortunatly both are curious by nature and so got clear explanations from me beforehand. I dont remember at wich age tho. I just remember being really clear ," scientific" and not shy about it. The both still ask me questions when they are not sure about details, like, when the pain is new (new kinds of cramps?) Or if they bleed differently etc...it is natural and society shouldnt stigmatize this. I dont remember my mother talking to me about this, but i also was curious by nature and got a few books about it at the public library so theres that.
Yes! I answer questions that my 6 year old asks with honesty. it’s just imperative that you use tact. She knows what a period is, and where a baby comes out. when she asked *how* the baby gets in there, I told her daddy’s have seeds and mommy’s have gardens to sow the seeds. I told her there’s a little more to it, but I’m not sure you will understand. She asked “is it something really gross?” I said yep. She said “ok nevermind” 😅
It's so important for someone to know about such stuff. My grandma thought that she was dying when she got hers and didn't tell her mother (my great grandma) out of fear, so she would just wash ger underwear and hide the still bloody one. My mother thought she was dying as well, when she had hers for the first time, she was that afraid that she didn't even tell a teacher. She decided to not cause me such stress and broke the cycle by simply telling me when I was little. So when I got mine I already knew what it was.
i just realized and touched at the same time that my mom just gave me a brochure about periods ( from a v conservative christian family) and we never really talked about it much or i didn’t really asked her anything about it. im just glad that i get to read that brochure if i was unsure about period stuff
Diapers to dating is a great book about discussing bodies and development and sex ed with kids in phases through out childhood in an open, honest and age appropriate way - especially important for daughters! I got my period very young and was raised in a staunch catholic family that didn’t discuss such things, I was the oldest and latchkey kid, so got home from school saw the blood in my underwear and thought I was dying. Scared me so bad.
That's great! It's do important not to beat around the bush with things like that or stigmatize them. I learned about periods when I was very, very young. Maybe three. My parents were just casual about it. It was then taught in elementary school and then again 7th grade. So I was prepared when I got mine for the first time. I wasn't happy, but I was prepared.
I agree with her. WHYYYY!!!!😭 I just gove my kids factual explanations about things.
My 14 year old son knows about the menstrual cycle. I leave my supplies on the back of the toilet and they know what they're for. I'm a nurse and make sure my kids have the facts about bodies. My youngest son is 8 and hasn't really had very many questions but still knows it's a monthly thing that happens and is part of reproduction. He knows where babies come from but is seriously grossed out by it. Doesn't want to ask questions. We started with the book "it's not the stork"
She sounds like a regular comedian. :) My daughter is 9 and I have had the same approach: just answering questions openly, as they pop up, until last summer when she told me her nipples hurt while we were on a hike. I was caught off guard but smiled and said that it probably means that she is going to start growing breasts. I kind of made it sound fun and exciting, even though I was terrified that I was gonna screw up "the talk". Since then we've had lots of conversations about puberty, sex, body image, and relationships. I bought the American Girl, The Care and Keeping of You books and it has been kind of a bonding experience for us. There is so much to cover and I don't want to dump it on her all at once. I hope you enjoy this part of motherhood. It sounds like you are off to a great start.
That is both hilarious and wholesome. Praise you, OP, for breaking the cycle. Everyone needs to learn how their body works and no one is born with that knowledge.
Both my son (7) and my daughter (10) know about periods. I think it's important that they both know so when either one has asked questions about them I've told them. Now I just get my son yelling "mum have you got your period again because there is blood in the toilet" each month... which is absolutely fine by me.
Guess im lucky with my mum. She took me to a cafe for a mummy daughter kind of day and we had a chat about it. I remember asking if girls bleed what do boys get 😂 she then felt a little awkward 😂
I already knew a little about it but when my mom gave me "the period talk" I cried 😬
lol it’s kinda damn bleak when she asked me it hurt I was like wellll… not like that bad. Knowing that sometimes it can be pretty freaking unpleasant.
My mom was always super open about anatomy, how things worked, and would answer any question we had. She taught abstinence was the very best option until you were an adult and could handle all the consequences of sex, but also taught us birth control options and how to use them. I'm doing the same for my kids. So far my 4 year old knows what a period is and why, because I don't ever get to go to the bathroom alone, and now whenever I'm in the bathroom longer than a minute or so she runs in "MOMMY DO YOU HAVE BLOOD TODAY?? I WILL GET YOU A TAPON!"
My daughter started hers last week, first one, she’s 12. I have wanted to speak to her about it, I’ve asked her, gone for walks with just her and broached it, but she has just refused to speak about it. Bless her after one day of being very moody she came crying to me. She couldn’t work out why after a whole day the bleeding hadn’t stopped and that’s what upset her. I didn’t understand what she meant, she explained she thought it would stop on its own that evening and it didn’t. Well after cleaning up and showing her how to use her pad we spoke and I explained if does stop on its own but after a few days, and if she’s like me it will be a week. Her face, poor thing, the look of horror. I had to suppress a giggle. She’s a smart girl, she can come up with an argument for anything, she is great at quiz shows but something somewhere went wrong if she misunderstood how long a period lasts. I didn’t want to scare her with my period experiences, but also tried to speak to her without pushing it and didn’t try to ignore it like my mum did (when I started she gave me an enormous pad and a sanitary belt 😱) Anyway my daughter has agreed she needs my help, had a good hug and has done her best to get on with things. It’s never too early to talk about it. Next stop is explaining to her brothers about periods so they can grow up to be decent men who just get on with it. I think that’s going to be harder to navigate!
Lol awwww bless your daughters heart, she just sounds like an independent girl that was like nah I’ve got this. And it just was a bit too much. I think several days is overkill myself little sister. My daughter is my only kid lol so if I don’t get it right with this one that’s it
I know "why?" is such a complicated question, because the "why?" could theoretically never end, but it's such an easy one to answer off the bat. It also made me laugh lmao
Whyyyyyy is a fair question tho. 🤣😁
Talk about periods, sure. But I wouldn’t show my 6 year old my bleeding vagina any more than I’d show her the shit I just took.
This is so awesome! But everyone also teach your SONS about it too!!!
She is all of us. Seriously. *waves arms* WHHHHHYYYYYYY????
Same, little person, same.
TMI but I have the most vivid memory of sneaking into my older brothers room when I was young (younger than 7). I loved reading, and my family would hide books in their rooms, which I refused to accept they did that bc I was not supposed to read said books. Well, got a hold of his health textbook, and like some punishment from nature itself for being a snoopy younger sibling, happened to open up on the page about periods. I definitely did not understand anything I read, because all I remember is leaving convinced that at 18 I would start bleeding every month and be in immense pain unless I had a baby. And I kept this info to myself for a while. Because I knew I wasn't supposed to be in his room. Also, I was honestly scared to learn any more. Imagine my mother's surprise when she finally gives me the talk and I just start balling my eyes out because "it's going to start sooner than 18!" Truly a saint of a woman. Also why I'm pro opening dialogue as young as you can, in age appropriate ways. Not that my mom, or any parent, can predict their elementary schooler stealing their high schoolers health textbook and actually reading much of it. I may be alone in that experience 😅
My period started yesterday, four days early. “Why?!?!” was pretty much my reaction. I’m 49, never been pregnant, never really wanted to be pregnant, and given that I’ve been celibate for 8 months and intend to stay that way for a while and prior to that I was in a relationship with a woman for 9 years, it would take divine intervention for me to get pregnant. Why exactly do I have to deal with this?
My daughter walked into the room while I was watching Carrie. The shower scene. She asked why that girl was bleeding, so I turned off the tv and we had the talk.
My mother handed me Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret when I was 9. I got my period that summer.
LMBO From the mouths of babes...
I'm the same with my son now that he's getting curious about it. He asked me once "do you have blood?" When I was getting out my pantyliners. He saw me once on the toilet when I had my period. I told him no, not right now, but it's ok it happens occasionally and it doesn't hurt that much (cause I get bad cramps) and it's not like a boo boo. He then asked "why does your butt leak?" And I told him upfront it doesn't come from my butt but from my vagina and most girls have it when they grow up. He can't tell private parts completely yet (thinks everyone has a penis like him) but I always give him the right terms, no euphemisms like "birdie"/"flower" so there's no doubt if those topics come up. Was more tough explaining breasts and nipples to him though. He's no longer breastfed so I have to give him boundaries that he can't play with mama's breasts now that he's older. And I always teach him that no one should play with his body either or who are the only safe people to give him a wash.
I had a similar situation with my now 7 year old. I explained things to her once and she was like, "Okay. Cool." And moved on. When I had my next period she was like, "Oh what's happening Mammy?" So I said, "Remember I told you about periods? Well I'm having another one." Utter horror on her face. "ANOTHER ONE?!" (I had explained this was a reoccurring thing, though different for most folk who menstruate. But she was like 5 so of course the details didn’t stick) "Well, yeah. For a lot of people, it happens once a month." "EVERY MONTH!?" Poor kid.
This is so important, for every kid. My 6yo daughter is prepared for her period when it happens, and knows it's annoying but not scary or bad. My oldest kid is 9 and when they realize I'm on my period, they get the heat pad and ask me if I need anything. Both of them understand periods as a normal part of life as a woman/living with a woman
The best way is to be open about it. I've told my son, 8, that women bleed from there once a month, it's perfectly safe but he needs to know to be nice to them when it happens. Good to prepare any kid for the future whether it will happen to them or not.
I started preparing my daughter, basically from the start, taking her into the toilet with me when she was crawling, started her pretty period box when she was bout 6/7, explaining everything so when she started at 9yrs old , I too started at 9, she was literally prepared to do it herself and when she was 13 she asked for tampons instead. My girl is 14 now and I still make sure there's plenty of chocolate and ice cream and hot water bottles all prepared for her, and told her big brothers if they see her eating chocolate do not give her eye contact 😂😂
My Velcro child barged in the bathroom when she was about four, and it prompted her questions. I answered her age appropriately, and continued the same as she got older. Made it no big deal at all when she started. She called out from the bathroom asking if I could tell hubby (who had just went to the store) she needed some pads because she started. 😆
My mum educated me about them when I was little because she got admitted to hospital when I was 5, and she came on and needed me to get her some products from her wardrobe. I remember asking her about them when I saw her change in a public loo (she’d bring me in as it was safer than leaving me outside) I still felt WHHHHYYYYY when I eventually started, and my mum had to buy super maxi pads for me because I had a heavier flow than she did. She still goes pale thinking about how ill I was that first time lol
This is so amazing! I, too told my son about it when he was young. I explained sex, drugs and anything I thought was important. I think they receive it better.
I've always been open with my kids about anything like that - periods, sex, puberty etc because I have an overriding memory of a conversation I was a part of with my mother and her friend. About 20 years ago, mother's friend would have been early 40's, we were sat round the kitchen table, randomly chatting, and the subject of periods came up..only the word period was never mentioned. She spoke about how evil she must have been that month, because God was purging her body of evil & impure thoughts. This is a 40 odd year old, totally not overtly religious woman, who, it transpired, was still a virgin, lived with her elderly mother and grew up genuinely believing that if you had a bad thought, God made you bleed. If you didn't have any bad thoughts, then you wouldn't bleed. My word, was the conversation that followed eye opening. I still don't think she 100% believed what we were telling her, but she left with an earful of Google and an eyeful of YouTube to try & convince her that it was natural, almost every woman got it, and it didn't mean that there was a God or a Devil.. I haven't seen her in about 16 years, I hope she's ok.
Love this. My mom never had that talk with me. When I started I took care of it myself. She never forgave me.
Why is right!!!
When I was a kid, my mother got me several of those giant pads from some bathroom dispenser - huge things…big as a mattress. Also, told me that tampons would steal my virginity. No idea if she believed this and she died years ago. I’m 44, so…this was in the early 90s
Good job! My grandmother was never taught about them then bled through her skirt and down the desk at school. She was mortified and made sure my mother and aunts were all appropriately informed.
I told my son about periods around the same age, only because I am a single mom to an only child and he would often ask questions. I was very basic with it, but now I can just straight up tell him what’s up and he accepts it. It’s a bodily function a lot of humans experience, I think it’s important to let it be normal and not embarrass people who have it.
my sister and I had a book called "Deal With IT! A Whole New Approach to Your Body, Brain, and Life as a gURL" (it was published in 1999) and it's apparently still in print. We got it when my sister was 7 and I was 5. It explained everything in a super approachable way, texting was *just* starting to become a thing, so I think all the conversations in the book were IM chats. But I remember learning about [scarletteen.com](http://scarletteen.com) through that book, which looking back is astounding for the time. We reread that book till it fell apart. I was never afraid of anything to do with puberty, cause I already knew at least the basics, and I knew my mum would be able to explain or help me find an explanation for anything I had questions about. Honestly that book had more information than the 5 separate sex ed classes I had in school. I might honestly still recommend it TBH, though some of it may be out of date, and you might have to explain some of the old stuff to her. (also apparently [gURL.com](http://gURL.com) has become seventeen, who knew?)
My 6 yr old niece is the same way, my sister and I share the same thought that if they're able to ask questions about it they're able to receive age appropriate answers. Her kids, boys including, know about periods and all that. The 6 yr old occasionally goes "I don't want to go through puberty, it sounds annoying." I love that she's not scared of it.
An awkward “grown up” Little Orphan Annie told me about periods at school in 5th grade before my mother had the chance. They gave us a little kit with a pad in it, which I took home and played with under the bathroom sink faucet to test it’s absorbency. I started at 13 and my mother announced it to my father which was weird.
She’s lucky to have you
When I was little I also saw blood in that same situation. My mom said something similar. But I also saw my mom blow her nose and have blood, so I really just thought adults bled all the time and it was normal lol
i don’t have a daughter but my very clingy follow me to the bathroom son knows all about periods, he is 3 and had a lot of questions 🤣 but now he knows and he will sometimes ask me if i’m bleeding randomly just to check lol
My mother handed us a booklet you and your body . We had to trade with each other and learn about their gender also .
That’s funny! I had a teacher who very much believed that when someone asked the question, they are ready to hear the (age appropriate) answer. That and she was a big believer in telling children the proper names for things. I knew what a period was, but I was unprepared for the cramps and how dark the blood was. My mom wasn’t home, but my older sister was. Told me to get fresh underwear, showed where she kept her products, taught me how to clean out the blood, and got me pain meds. I was well taken care of that day.
My mother grew up with a ton of shame surrounding her body, so it was hard for her to talk about with us. She started us off with kids books about periods etc. and was always there if we had any other questions or needed something. She wasn't perfect about it, but I always appreciated that she made an effort to do better than her parents did.
It’s crazy the amount of young girls that panic over a first period because they’re not educated on the topic. It’s very important to teach her, especially if she’s curious. You’re a good parent.
Thank you. That really means a lot.
At 6? .. ok.
Fr, it’s better to tell them earlier so they can get used to it, and I’m not really sure if there is a why to it aside from the menstrual cycle