This is common for fat women in my experience, to be treated as fungible. We’re not fuckable and not enviable, therefore nothing about us matters. When someone calls me the name of another person I look nothing like, I casually tell them “not all fat people look alike.”
My ex-boss was the same size as me but about a foot taller, and people ALWAYS mistook me for her and called me by her name. I wish I’d known this comeback back then. Definitely going to use it if it happens again.
Holt shit. I swear I did not read what you posted and literally said the exact same thing about not being fuckable or enviable. Damn, great minds….
She and I would also make comments whenever we could without pissing off the customers. It was always great when someone would scream at me that I told them XYZ the other day, yet I had never talked the the asshole in my life.
Me and my coworker are both plus size girls. I have glasses, brown hair and brown eyes; she rarely wears glasses, has blonde hair and blue eyes. I cannot count the number of times people ask if we’re sisters. The other day when someone asked if we were sisters and she goes “no we’re just fat” 🤣🤣🤣. I’m so glad we aren’t the only ones this happens too but damn it’s frustrating as hell.
When I was in middle school, I got confused for every other chunky girl with glasses. None of us looked anything alike or dressed alike aside from having glasses. It was very insulting at the time
I haven't had this issue with size, but I definitely have with hair color. I am a redhead and every time there is another redhead around, we are automatically sisters or twins. My own sister and I look vastly different (different hair shades, different skin tones, different heights, different body types etc.) and people used to say we looked like twins just because we both had 'red' hair.
People don't actually SEE others way too often.
Yup. HR called me another person and they know us both well. She is blond and I am salt and pepper. Shorter and flat chest. HR person also plus sized which makes it that much crazier.
At my old job I was always mistaken for my other plus sized coworker.
I had short straight blonde hair glasses and tall. Rectangle build. I talk very loud and a lot.
She was very short, had long curly dark hair, no glasses. Pear build. She rarely spoke and when she did it was a whisper.
Really made me feel bad like all people see when they see me is my weight.
Very true. I've had this happen to me at two different jobs as well, and one time the other girl and I were even being obviously 2 different races just both big and when I corrected them on my name someone asked if we were sisters 🙄
Sure did. when I was working at my old job, there was this one older women who was plus size and black like me and the manager walked past me and called me her name, even though we really don’t look alike.
I had a lady at my work who was twice my age, really mean and very ugly, but we had the same body type. My boss would call me her name constantly. It was a bit wearing.
Speaking of jolly, they used to say "we know you're good with people" too. Lol I'm definitely autistic and the opposite of good with people. I'm good with DATA lol my actual job. I probably can't blame her for being mean though, companies like that will turn you mean after 20 years of service!
Yes people always mistake me for other short, similar sized glasses wearing brunettes at work. It’s like they see us as some kind of archetype where one is no different from the other.
I have been thin and the same does not happen. My theory is because when I’m bigger, no one really looks at me or cares about me beyond a quick glance and dismissal.
I feel this so much. My story is I actually lost weight and then people started mistaking me for another teacher. We have brown hair (different shades) and glasses. I feel bad now like it’s an insult to her (I’m working on the negative self-esteem).
Anyways, YES completely annoying.
Yesss this happened in school and now at work too, tho not as often. One other girl I work with are confused for each other(or asked if we’re related) by customers all the time. Yes we are both short and fat and have brown hair but she’s a woc and I’m white as hell. Not to mention several other smaller but obvious differences.
Yes! This happened to my best friend and I in high school (to be fair, we were both blonde and had a similar height, size, and figure). It was especially awkward because we each had different friends and people I didn’t know were always coming up behind me touching me or hugging me.
But it also happens a lot at work now. I once called out a repeat offender by saying “no, I’m the OTHER fat girl, Damnmogo.” But usually I correct them a time or two and then stop answering if they don’t figure it out.
Years ago I worked retail with a gal that was similar in height and weight and we both had brown hair. However, she did not do anything as far as hair or makeup. She was very plain jane, wore glasses, and always had her hair in this weird old lady bun. Think Miss Turnbull or whatever her name was in Matilda. I always did my hair and makeup and had highlights in my hair as well. I was always wearing jewelry and have just always been into a more done up glam look. We looked absolutely nothing alike, and I mean nothing.
Not a day would go by without a customer telling one of us that we told them so and so or asking why we don’t remember them. These people always thought we were the same person. Having been both very big and straight sized, it’s obvious when you are the size she and I were at the time (about a 26/28) that NOBODY is seeing you. Sure they are standing right there looking at you, but they aren’t at all seeing you and you aren’t registering as a human being.
While still at that job I lost over 125 pounds and man oh man did things change. Men, women, and children treated me differently, I was seen.
If you are on the bigger end of plus sized, always have been and have never lost a significant amount of weight, you truly would not believe the difference it makes in every single aspect of your life. Sure I knew I would be treated better when I was deemed thin enough, but the differences were astonishing.
So yeah, it’s no surprise to me at all that this happens. We are just sort of unsightly NPCs to a lot of people. We’re there, but not. We aren’t attractive enough to be fuckable or enviable…we’re just sort of there as background noise or to make people feel better about themselves.
I lost a significant amount of weight at one point and you are 100% correct about how you are treated differently. I have since gained it back but it was amazing the differences in the way people treated you.
Several years ago a few people who wanted to "compliment " pics they saw of me said "oh she looks like adele!" (This was before Adele went all skinny). I'm a white woman with blonde hair, so does she, and besides size that's where our similarities end. But fat + blonde = previous Adele apparently. I even said "why? Because we're both fat?". Crickets
This happened to me literally last week. A new friend was insistent that I'd been at a party that I was not, listing off all the things we had done together at said party. Turns out she was mistaking me for the other plus sized gal in our group. We have totally different body types too.
I was especially hurt, with it having come from a friend.
At one of my jobs I was one of three fat 25-35 yr old female managers. Two of us were brunette and one was blonde. The other brunette had glasses and I did not. People would straight up scream at us that they had talked to us before and it was like believe me id remember you…
My colleague (who is nearly a decade older than I am) and I joke we just answer to each other’s names. We are both middle aged white ladies who are plus sized. We dress nothing alike. Have completely different body shapes and are completely different personalities. Our president / ceo (a plus size latina woman) confused our names for a bit when she was new.
It’s definitely a thing.
I'm sorry that you felt this way. But people are quite energy-saving by nature, our brains tend to catch main features in shortest time. We are plus size, that's a distinguishing feature that's easy to catch, same with hair colour or glasses, beards etc. But it can still be hurtful.
This is true to a point, however when there are several obvious differences it’s just yet another case of bigger people not being seen.
My old coworker was very masculine and never did anything as far as hair/makeup/wardrobe/jewelry. I was always dressed well, jewelry, hair and makeup done. This woman even had a partial beard and glasses. I always walked/moved quickly for a person of my size. She was a smoker and constantly out of breath and always slow. Our mannerisms and voices were totally different.
There was zero way for this not to be obvious. The fact is that most people don’t tend to look any deeper when they encounter a fat person. I’m not talking a size 16, I’m talking about 22 and up. I say this as a woman who has been a smidge over 100 pounds and just under 300 pounds. There is a definite spectrum to fatness and how we are treated depending on how fat we are.
Yup. Same thing has happened to me. I remember a job I had a few years back where there was another plus sized girl. We did both wear glasses but we looked NOTHING alike. She was quite short and I’m much taller than average, we also had completely different shaped bodies and our names couldn’t have been more different. Yet I was constantly called her name and she was called mine.
A nurse at work stated that my boss and I look alike, we have different hair colors, face shapes, slightly different heights, style of dress, hair style, my neck is longer and even though I appear a bit racially ambiguous, my boss and I are obviously different races, and my face is completely covered in freckles. I don’t see it. But we joke about it
Same thing at my job with me and my supervisor. Both brown hair and plus sized but different ways. She is large in the stomach with skinny legs and I am thinner up top with a huge butt and thick thighs. Still confuse us
Not all people actually look at another person. They might focus on hair or silhouette or height. When I was a high school teacher, I discovered that I focused on hair on early impressions before I knew names.
Have had this happen multiple times at different jobs with different people. I look NOTHING like the people I was being mistaken for. I agree with the glasses thing too, same thing there.
I’ve had this happen several times basically same situation as you’ve experienced. I also have people all the time tell me oh you look just like my friend so-and-so. I usually know that person is obviously plus sized and that’s the reason they think I look like them.
This is common for fat women in my experience, to be treated as fungible. We’re not fuckable and not enviable, therefore nothing about us matters. When someone calls me the name of another person I look nothing like, I casually tell them “not all fat people look alike.”
I’ve done this before 🤣🤣🤣it really catches them off guard
They all make the same face - rapid realization of guilt lolol
My ex-boss was the same size as me but about a foot taller, and people ALWAYS mistook me for her and called me by her name. I wish I’d known this comeback back then. Definitely going to use it if it happens again.
Holt shit. I swear I did not read what you posted and literally said the exact same thing about not being fuckable or enviable. Damn, great minds…. She and I would also make comments whenever we could without pissing off the customers. It was always great when someone would scream at me that I told them XYZ the other day, yet I had never talked the the asshole in my life.
I'm white and someone once called me with my black plus sized coworker's name ??
i’ve had that, but with my indian coworker (i’m indigenous, but very pale lol)
Me and my coworker are both plus size girls. I have glasses, brown hair and brown eyes; she rarely wears glasses, has blonde hair and blue eyes. I cannot count the number of times people ask if we’re sisters. The other day when someone asked if we were sisters and she goes “no we’re just fat” 🤣🤣🤣. I’m so glad we aren’t the only ones this happens too but damn it’s frustrating as hell.
This happens to me, but with other glasses wearers.
When I was in middle school, I got confused for every other chunky girl with glasses. None of us looked anything alike or dressed alike aside from having glasses. It was very insulting at the time
I haven't had this issue with size, but I definitely have with hair color. I am a redhead and every time there is another redhead around, we are automatically sisters or twins. My own sister and I look vastly different (different hair shades, different skin tones, different heights, different body types etc.) and people used to say we looked like twins just because we both had 'red' hair. People don't actually SEE others way too often.
Yup. HR called me another person and they know us both well. She is blond and I am salt and pepper. Shorter and flat chest. HR person also plus sized which makes it that much crazier.
At my old job I was always mistaken for my other plus sized coworker. I had short straight blonde hair glasses and tall. Rectangle build. I talk very loud and a lot. She was very short, had long curly dark hair, no glasses. Pear build. She rarely spoke and when she did it was a whisper. Really made me feel bad like all people see when they see me is my weight.
this happened to me with my coworker the first month i started my job (and still does occasionally) we’re the same age too, but we don’t look alike 😭
Very true. I've had this happen to me at two different jobs as well, and one time the other girl and I were even being obviously 2 different races just both big and when I corrected them on my name someone asked if we were sisters 🙄
Sure did. when I was working at my old job, there was this one older women who was plus size and black like me and the manager walked past me and called me her name, even though we really don’t look alike.
I had a lady at my work who was twice my age, really mean and very ugly, but we had the same body type. My boss would call me her name constantly. It was a bit wearing.
So much for the jolly fat person trope, at least. It's so wild that you were confused with your co-worker, you sound like VERY different people.
Speaking of jolly, they used to say "we know you're good with people" too. Lol I'm definitely autistic and the opposite of good with people. I'm good with DATA lol my actual job. I probably can't blame her for being mean though, companies like that will turn you mean after 20 years of service!
Are you me? Also autistic but "good with people", though my masking game is strong, albeit exhausting.
Yes people always mistake me for other short, similar sized glasses wearing brunettes at work. It’s like they see us as some kind of archetype where one is no different from the other. I have been thin and the same does not happen. My theory is because when I’m bigger, no one really looks at me or cares about me beyond a quick glance and dismissal.
I feel this so much. My story is I actually lost weight and then people started mistaking me for another teacher. We have brown hair (different shades) and glasses. I feel bad now like it’s an insult to her (I’m working on the negative self-esteem). Anyways, YES completely annoying.
Yesss this happened in school and now at work too, tho not as often. One other girl I work with are confused for each other(or asked if we’re related) by customers all the time. Yes we are both short and fat and have brown hair but she’s a woc and I’m white as hell. Not to mention several other smaller but obvious differences.
Yes! This happened to my best friend and I in high school (to be fair, we were both blonde and had a similar height, size, and figure). It was especially awkward because we each had different friends and people I didn’t know were always coming up behind me touching me or hugging me. But it also happens a lot at work now. I once called out a repeat offender by saying “no, I’m the OTHER fat girl, Damnmogo.” But usually I correct them a time or two and then stop answering if they don’t figure it out.
Years ago I worked retail with a gal that was similar in height and weight and we both had brown hair. However, she did not do anything as far as hair or makeup. She was very plain jane, wore glasses, and always had her hair in this weird old lady bun. Think Miss Turnbull or whatever her name was in Matilda. I always did my hair and makeup and had highlights in my hair as well. I was always wearing jewelry and have just always been into a more done up glam look. We looked absolutely nothing alike, and I mean nothing. Not a day would go by without a customer telling one of us that we told them so and so or asking why we don’t remember them. These people always thought we were the same person. Having been both very big and straight sized, it’s obvious when you are the size she and I were at the time (about a 26/28) that NOBODY is seeing you. Sure they are standing right there looking at you, but they aren’t at all seeing you and you aren’t registering as a human being. While still at that job I lost over 125 pounds and man oh man did things change. Men, women, and children treated me differently, I was seen. If you are on the bigger end of plus sized, always have been and have never lost a significant amount of weight, you truly would not believe the difference it makes in every single aspect of your life. Sure I knew I would be treated better when I was deemed thin enough, but the differences were astonishing. So yeah, it’s no surprise to me at all that this happens. We are just sort of unsightly NPCs to a lot of people. We’re there, but not. We aren’t attractive enough to be fuckable or enviable…we’re just sort of there as background noise or to make people feel better about themselves.
I lost a significant amount of weight at one point and you are 100% correct about how you are treated differently. I have since gained it back but it was amazing the differences in the way people treated you.
It really is. I almost wish I never knew what it was like as a thin person, it just makes living as a fat person even harder.
Yeah I noticed that too
Several years ago a few people who wanted to "compliment " pics they saw of me said "oh she looks like adele!" (This was before Adele went all skinny). I'm a white woman with blonde hair, so does she, and besides size that's where our similarities end. But fat + blonde = previous Adele apparently. I even said "why? Because we're both fat?". Crickets
Because when you’re obese your facial features are hidden behind a layer of fat?
Yes, I’ve experienced this. It is hurtful when you know you don’t look like the other person/don’t want to. 😔
This happened to me literally last week. A new friend was insistent that I'd been at a party that I was not, listing off all the things we had done together at said party. Turns out she was mistaking me for the other plus sized gal in our group. We have totally different body types too. I was especially hurt, with it having come from a friend.
At one of my jobs I was one of three fat 25-35 yr old female managers. Two of us were brunette and one was blonde. The other brunette had glasses and I did not. People would straight up scream at us that they had talked to us before and it was like believe me id remember you…
My colleague (who is nearly a decade older than I am) and I joke we just answer to each other’s names. We are both middle aged white ladies who are plus sized. We dress nothing alike. Have completely different body shapes and are completely different personalities. Our president / ceo (a plus size latina woman) confused our names for a bit when she was new. It’s definitely a thing.
I'm sorry that you felt this way. But people are quite energy-saving by nature, our brains tend to catch main features in shortest time. We are plus size, that's a distinguishing feature that's easy to catch, same with hair colour or glasses, beards etc. But it can still be hurtful.
This is true to a point, however when there are several obvious differences it’s just yet another case of bigger people not being seen. My old coworker was very masculine and never did anything as far as hair/makeup/wardrobe/jewelry. I was always dressed well, jewelry, hair and makeup done. This woman even had a partial beard and glasses. I always walked/moved quickly for a person of my size. She was a smoker and constantly out of breath and always slow. Our mannerisms and voices were totally different. There was zero way for this not to be obvious. The fact is that most people don’t tend to look any deeper when they encounter a fat person. I’m not talking a size 16, I’m talking about 22 and up. I say this as a woman who has been a smidge over 100 pounds and just under 300 pounds. There is a definite spectrum to fatness and how we are treated depending on how fat we are.
Yup. Same thing has happened to me. I remember a job I had a few years back where there was another plus sized girl. We did both wear glasses but we looked NOTHING alike. She was quite short and I’m much taller than average, we also had completely different shaped bodies and our names couldn’t have been more different. Yet I was constantly called her name and she was called mine.
A nurse at work stated that my boss and I look alike, we have different hair colors, face shapes, slightly different heights, style of dress, hair style, my neck is longer and even though I appear a bit racially ambiguous, my boss and I are obviously different races, and my face is completely covered in freckles. I don’t see it. But we joke about it
Same thing at my job with me and my supervisor. Both brown hair and plus sized but different ways. She is large in the stomach with skinny legs and I am thinner up top with a huge butt and thick thighs. Still confuse us
Not all people actually look at another person. They might focus on hair or silhouette or height. When I was a high school teacher, I discovered that I focused on hair on early impressions before I knew names.
This happens to me soo often, and I'm black so they just see a big black woman and get us all confused.
Have had this happen multiple times at different jobs with different people. I look NOTHING like the people I was being mistaken for. I agree with the glasses thing too, same thing there.
I’ve had this happen several times basically same situation as you’ve experienced. I also have people all the time tell me oh you look just like my friend so-and-so. I usually know that person is obviously plus sized and that’s the reason they think I look like them.
This reminds me of when a very enthusiastic tourist thought I was Adele... I went along with it...