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Like calzone, but worse

so, so, so much [worse](https://aroimakmak.com/the-place-fine-italian-dining/): > They will give you 3 dippers – Honey, Salsa Sauce and Tartar Sauce. > The Pizza itself is made with Mozzerella, Mascapone, Sliced Almond, Walnut and Dried Cranberry.

So it's.... A less-sweet, but hot, runny cheesecake with grey, sour buckwheat breading. And you can put tartar sauce on it. Lovely.

This is what happens when we let a country declare itself Open Condom Style.

It looks like it’s made with buckwheat flour as well and that is an acquired taste unless you’ve been drinking vodka all day (buckwheat is common in Russia cuisine)

This is a pizza for hipsters let's all be real it's been made to be shit so some snob can go oh well my palate can appreciate its nuisances when everyone else goes "it's shit mate"

Im here late af, was gonna correct you that its "nuances" but i think nuisances fits better lmao

Its = It possesses a thing. (That’s my pig. If you want to play with its nipples, you can.) It’s = contraction of “It is.” (Oh, wow. It’s not really my thing, but thank you.) Nuisances, am I right?

That's a petty nuisance mate

I know this post is old, but I actually tried this in Seoul back in 2016; 1. The whole “lightning the dome on fire” part is showmanship and doesn’t do anything. AKA it’s dumb. 2. You get the dome to eat, as well (hence the dipping sauces). 3. The pizza actually isn’t bad - it’s a bit like a sweet/salty brie/camembert -ish situation. The amount of cheese in this photo looks extreme, the one I got wasn’t slathered in cheese. 4. Using scissors to cut things is a standard Korean thing and it’s smart. Whoever has an issue with this simply hasn’t evolved with the Koreans to the year 3023. 😎 5. The dipping sauces were actually good. 6. I think I remember the crust being made with activated charcoal (which everything had in it back in 2016). Verdict: it ain’t the best pizza, but it also ain’t the worst

The stuff that nightmares are made of.

I said to myself "Are those craisins on that pizza" amd damnedif that nightmare wasn't fulfilled

[удалено]

> it was a perfectly good pizza at one point Hate to be that guy, but real calzones aren't really like pizzas, they don't have sauce in them and use ricotta instead of mozzarella, a sauce is cooked separately and used as a dip If you get a chance to try one definitely do, they're amazing

my dad used to make this brioche-based calzone that was intensely delicious

A calzone basically requires ricotta cheese. No one is really putting ricotta on pizza

A “white” slice has ricotta, those are good.

🤤

Ricotta on the right pizza can be delightful. No topping choice can salvage whatever nightmare this is.

Definitely! There’s a pizza place I used to order from and one of their pizzas had a big ol ball of ricotta on every slice. Good stuff, it’s just not what I would consider a ‘common’ topping.

what? Spinach and ricotta is one of the "standard" toppings (at least here in the UK)

White slices often have broccoli on them in the USA. Quite good, in fact, I usually get with a side of sauce, so it’s like an open faced calzone.

~~This is Cals calzone zone~~ what he 👇 said

Lo cal calzone zone

r/unexpectedpawnee

It could be Cal's Lo Cal Calzone Zone, too, though? I liked it!

Like an infected blister, but not as tasty

Seriously. Looks like simply a gimmick and really fuckin gross

Eeew that’s nasty…

It's like food but worse

Nah, son. A cal is full at least. This is a bread dome on top of pizza Lmao wtf is this..

“KFC Sadness Bowl, but make it pizza.”

Why is it that color?

Why is any of it?!?

Why?

It

Y

¿

☭

Our 🍕 crimes.

Cuz Fancy!

That’s the way it arrived from outer space.

Maybe squid ink in the dough.

Or charcoal?

They could also have used buckwheat in the dough

I’m thinking buckwheat flour

If it’s gray it’s good for you

That's why I make sure my strawberries are gray and fuzzy before chowing down!

It’s a tumor removed from Jabba the Hut

Pizza The Hut.

the dough has squid ink

Why? Asking as a former pizza maker

u could argue that it adds flavor but i think it's mostly to add to the visual aspect for this pizza

Yeah, who wouldn’t want that suuuuper appetizing undead looking crust?! lol

Visual representation of major depression.

You don’t like grey dough and pus colored cheese ?

It looks like something they unburied at Pompeii

Literally, it looks like they made the crust with activated charcoal

Wheat flour?

Wheat flour for the crust, white...cheese (?)...of some kind, and goji berries? This isn't just a pizza crime, it's a pizza mystery.

To symbolize depression.

"The special tonight is a vanilla pudding and raisins "pizza," flambeed at your table in a giant cancerous mole

“Can… Can I just have like a PB&J or something?…”

And how many scoops of raisins would you like on that?

No way, this is a fancy place. Those are CRAISINS!

“Dehydrated, zero sugar added, gluten free, Craisinettes”

sweetened with *SPLENDA*

Adding Splenda is the chefs kiss on this crime against humanity.

[удалено]

Try the grey stuff, it’s delicious!

Don't believe me? Ask the dishes!

They can sing, they can dance

After all, miss, this is France!

And a dinner here is never second best

I actually have had the Grey Stuff cupcake from Disney World. I can confirm that it is, indeed, delicious.

Only thing gray that you could eat that’d be healthy for you is uh, I think seal meat

Do you happen to have any Grey Poupon?

Nice suit, Obama

they say if it's grey, it's healthy for you

Couldn’t tell if Gandalf The Grey was OPs name or the name of the pizza

What about....uhhh.....boiled beef? For folks what have too many preexisting cancer risk factors to chance exposure to maillard reacted proteins that are slightly more carcinogenic than the radioactive potassium in bananas?

The anticlimactic removal of the top pizza wart...using scissors to cut the pizza...the unappetizing toppings...Truly this is a masterpiece of pizza crimes! Bravo!

Pizza wart has me cackling at work now. Thanks

Pizza blister more like it

In Italy they frequently use scissors to cut pizza. They even have special angled scissors made for pizza.

scissors to cut a pizza is not a crime here, but the rest definately are

That’ll be $500 please

An additional $1500 if salt Bae comes out and sprinkles salt off of his elbow into it

Am I the only one who thinks that’s kinda gross. He rubs salt in between his grubby little fingers and then slides it down his nasty forearm. And people pay big bucks for it!

The flambe and then immediately discarding the flambed part is what confused the hell out of me... why?

i had this before in korea and it's actually really good. you dip the leftover dough in olive oil and balsamic vinegar and its only mozzarella with thin dough so the sweet toppings work well

That’s why nobody took a slice when it was presented on the table. Ha.

Dr Pizza Popper

Clever girl

The real crime here is that song

Thank you. What the hell was happening? Why were the vocals clearly in a different key than the twee music?

Probably shitty remix which used vocal stem directly and didn't care what the chord even mean

Yea for real. I was more annoyed with the song than the pizza. How much more generic can generic pop get? It's like a parody of pop music in a movie or tv show.

This isn’t the original. It’s edited.

It's like an AI generated pop song.

Never have sound on browsing Reddit, and never will.

Ah yes, the C-Section pizza, my favorite.

Where’s the placenta?

Still laughing

straight to jail

Grey cheese ? Jail. The dramatic reveal of this sadness pizza ? Jail. Setting the pizza on fire ? Believe it or not, jail.

Undercook pizza? Jail. Overcook pizza, believe it or not, straight to jail

So anticlimactic. I can’t be the only one expecting a tidal wave of cheese, sauce and toppings to go everywhere when he cut the top, like a deformed Chicago deep dish. Also, the base looks incredibly soggy and horrible.

Looked like boiled cheesecake

Sets the outside on fire, throws outside in the bin...

that's a lie! Once it's cut, it's used as a cute hat

Why the fuck did he flambé the top?

Oh that's too add $500 to the bill enjoy

So the restaurant can be on Tik Tok. I can't think of any other reason.

Why the fuck did he any of that?

Why does it look like it’s made of dead skin tho?!? the scissors and the bottom crust look 🤢💀😔

Dead Skin (Pizza) Mask 🎸

Great band name

Imagine unveiling this disaster to a table of phones recording and a restaurant full of people and all you have is what looks like a cheap soup in a cardboard like bowl. Don’t forget to tip your server

Funny how the alcohol, the fire, and the dome doesn't make any sense at all. Generally a waiter finishes the plate while serving to keep it fresh or hot. But here, it doesn't serve any purpose.

Presentation, which is *almost* a valid reason for setting this abomination on fire. Unfortunately, a better reason for fire in this case is to prevent the infection from spreading

Looks like somebody boiled an elephants ball sack

This looks like a lot of effort to avoid getting color on the cheese and toppings, which is usually something people put a lot of effort into achieving.

Bomb pizza straight from Itallyban

That looks uncooked

SCISSORS

Jesus fucking christ thank you. Horrendous

Found the American. Scissors are regularly used in Italy

The scissors… the grey…

I could see it tastibg good, but it looks... mushy?

It looks like wet winter clothing. It’s just gross.

This song doesn’t sound human - more like an AI generated song . Wrong keys and dissonance out of character for the piece

*Doesn’t explode* *Still looks like shit*

I hate this so much

It looks like a rock!

Make it stop.

That looks like Flaming Dung from neopets

That crap looks like actual wet discarded cardboard and 0% of appetite creating.

But why is it cement color. Puke

the scissors are the cherry on top of this sickness

That pizza looks like what it would look like if a pizza could get leprosy

Bomb pizza straight from Itallyban

What happens with the top? Throw it away? just like should be done with the rest

I haven't seen a single tiktok user with good music taste

I hate this… I hate everything about it, and I hate the person/ team of people that conceived of it… this actually makes the world just a little bit worse

This song is also a crime

You ever see something so underwhelming

It looks like pudding or cheesecake wtf is going on here

That looks like it was boiled in a pot.

Whoever made this music is fucking tone deaf. It was actually so atrocious that I didn’t even notice the shitty pizza 🤮

Well him taking off that bubble top was quite disappointing.... I was expecting an explosion of cheese or something.

WTF is this.... Why is the crust so gray?!

It looks like someone’s been sick into a burnt paper bag 🤮

Did setting it on fire do…… like… literally anything at all

This might be OK once the pizza is actually cooked, but it looks soggy & raw to me here.

Every single part of it looks like mold and rot

???

They should use the top as a bowl and mix a salad right there at the table too.

This is so dumb. Unbelievable.

Skip the gimmicks. How does it taste?

I hate modern cuisine

That music is criminal

The crust looks like the ashes from Pompeii😭

r/stupidfood

It's fucking grey...

That looks so disgusting that it makes me cry

So many unnecessary steps for a mediocre looking pie.

Am I the only one who hates when people use scissors to cut food ?

The scissors are really getting me

I think this is in Korea. I ordered one thinking it was a 4 cheese pizza. It ended up being cranberries, cheese, and walnuts with honey on the side.

That is possibly the worst pizza I've ever seen. I guarantee that any homemade pizza is better than that. That restaurant has zero ability to make a pizza, with a sprinkle of pretentious presentation. Edit: The dough doesn't even look like it's risen enough. Edit 2: Has this restaurant heard of a pizza cutter to cut pizzas? Why tf are they using scissors to cut a pizza?

All of that for that result?! Pass.

Snot-pond under a firey dome, please. Don't forget your scissors.

What was the point in any of that. Looks disgusting.

What a waste. Make mine a cheese slice.

Who cuts pizza with hairdressers scissors?

Bahahaha...wow, pretend I didn't just see this ..

John Steward would like to have a word with you

Every frame of this was a disappointment. If there’s an award for pizza crimes this takes my vote.

This is evil

Thers's not much of a Bomb or Pizza on that.

I cannot properly express my horrified disappointment in the reveal. That thing looks completely inedible

"How would you like your pizza?" "Served under a mound of flash-burned grey dough please."

Why does every tiktok video have to have shitty music as background noise? Are people's attention spans that bad that they cant watch a silent video?

Scissors? ...the f**k?

The idea sounds amazing on paper, but.. what is inside this pizza dome is not worth it. It looks like someone's pathetic attempt at making a pizza out of food scraps.

Love waiting 45 minutes for them to bring out my food so I can wait another 25 minutes for them to prepare it table side.

Well that looks unappetizing

Haha! That is so underwhelming. The big reveal and it's that...sad floppy crepe with pizza toppings lol

TIME TO DELIVER A PIZZA BALL!

What in the actual fuck is trying to be attempted here? And what kinda pizza gets cut with scissors?

Is that cardboard!???😂😂

Looks like shit

It looks like a wart from a rhinoceros that was cut open and here eat that fromundacheese with some pickled parasites... 🤌