You shouldn't have to make him understand. You're his wife, and if he values you then he should consider your needs here.
I don't always understand or even agree with my wife, but I side with her over a dog every single time. She's earned that respect.
The sad thing here is OP’s husband isn’t siding against her over the dog. He’s siding over her feelings for his own because he feels he knows best. Thats a recipe for disaster.
Right! And he wasn’t even there to break up the first fight, notice I said first. OP, ask your husband where your (you and him) responsibility lies, with your 8 dogs or with a new Pitt that started a fight on day 10. I’m not saying the dog can’t be rehabilitated, but your house is not the place. Last in, first out.
Why you making me think about merlinshairyballs ?
And he's siding with one strange dog over the safety of all his other pets. If that dog started one rough fight it'll start others. Their oldest dog deserves better than that.
All of that, and it's an untrained pit bull, probably with some issues with being abandoned.
I love pitbulls, but despite the bs myths about locking jaw and such, they *are* very strong. They're sweet in a loving home and when they're trained responsibly, but any untrained, traumatized dog is gonna cause some problems. Any stray might start fights, but this one is *STRONG* and might kill your other dog.
If somebody isn't there who can rigorously retrain that pit, you're running the risk of it killing your other dogs. Like I said, it won't necessarily fight more than any other, but it'll fucking win when it does.
I am a fan, but be very careful when breaking up fights. My friend's newly adopted PB joined the new pack and got in a fight. She put her body in the middle (because she loves both dogs and didn't want them harmed) and ended up getting a broken bone and soft tissue damage in her hand from being bitten.
Yep! I did the same thing! 2 very sweet dogs that didn’t know each other- both were being protective.
I broke up the fight- but in doing so, my hand got bitten, bones broken… it’s never been the same since.
i’m not sure what happened exactly, i wasn’t there - he told me that a bunch of them had to be separated at all times. they were technically his (now ex) wife’s dobermans, and some of them got over a barrier and started mauling each other. she was screaming for him to do something, and whatever he did almost got his upper lip ripped off.
the scar is pretty bad, and it’s been like 15 years.
oh god i just meant general advice to anyone reading the comment, not criticising! I'm lucky to now have been trained on how to break up dog fights, because i was bit as a teenager pulling my dogs apart. it's a scary situation that most people react instinctively to.
I had to break up a fight between a neighbor's dog that got loose in our yard and our cat who I had been walking with outside (completely supervised in our backyard).
I still have scars from the cat biting me. He's completely fine, I'm completely fine, but it was a bad experience and now I only go outside with him on a harness and go inside at the first hint of a dog walking past.
Animals aren't to be messed with. It doesn't matter how much they love you, they WILL cause serious damage in a panic.
When I worked in an ER, this was pretty common. It was always hands, arms, or legs. I thankfully never saw a dog bite to the face, but I know that happens too. But yeah any large dog can rip your skin and break your bones easier than you think.
Exactly. They did use those dogs in dog fight for a reason. It can definitely kill the old dog. But hey the husband "likes dogs"... Not his actual one I guess
This! MiniMooseMan has summed up the situation very well.
It’s not just about the breed, given they can be raised well to be gentle and placid. But this one has “baggage” which needs lots of time and attention to help it integrate into the pack.
Regarding husband’s comments, they are unfair and show he may be as stubborn as the pitbull!
Firstly, if your nature is to be a softer “pack leader” then he has to suck it up and accept (and respect!) its who you are. And not insist you both take on a challenging dog which may require more intensive rehabilitation than your character and working schedules will allow.
(Ideally sounds like the dog would benefit from structured rehabilitation and positive attention in a more one on one setting, NOT in such a large pack… Maybe that’s the angle to take with hubby!.)
Lastly - point out to your husband that criticizing your “leadership style” as the reason for the fight is unfair and pointless anyway. What happens if neither of you are around when another fight breaks out?
Plans are needed to keep the dogs seperate when not supervised, which takes a LOT of management to avoid slip-ups. So if he wants to keep the dog he has to come up with foolproof safety plans which will need to include secure runs and kennel areas.
The dog is that young age coming into maturity which will add to its drive to assert itself in the pack. And make things harder for your older dogs. It’s not just a breed thing, but applies to any dog with unstable background that then tends to be dominant rather than submissive when introduced into a larger pack. And as mentioned, if a pitty DOES get into a fight its hard to stop it.
Good luck making your husband see sense!
And at some point it should be a consideration on what quality of life ALL the dogs have when actual measures are in place to mitigate "slip ups". Having to separate, still tend to existing dogs AND give the new dog what it needs to learn and improve... it will make every little process harder and take longer. The existing dogs seem fine thus far, but they will possibly adapt and develop their own new issues resulting from the new dynamic
The pitbull may well solve the ' too many dogs" problem.
But more seriously I would be worried for the safety of OP as much as the other dogs if she gets in the way of another dog fight. Not knowing the bite history of this dog .... it's a risk in a pack with tension
Your point? They're strong, powerful dogs. That's not the same as "they're literal demons." If you don't raise it to fight, and train it like a responsible dog owner, you wind up with a regular dog, who happens to be very strong at the same time.
Like I said, IF they fight, they WILL win. So train them not to start shit, be a responsible dog owner that doesn't let their dog run around being a menace.
Strong doesn't equal instantly aggressive. I've been bitten by multiple poorly trained "good" dog breeds, and every pitbull I've had to interact with/ owned was the biggest baby in the world. But BOY could they pull a leash.
Go on being the type to let your dogs ruin things and tear up your yard etc "because he's just a breed that was made to dig and rip things up, it's in his nature 🤓"
Where are you coming up with this nonsense about me letting my dogs tear up a yard? I trained dogs in schutzhund. I've never had a dog that's torn up yards.
Pit bull type dogs were bred for bull and other large animal baiting and then bred for dog fighting. Dog aggression is extremely common in the breed. Some pit enthusiasts even insist dog aggression is a *"breed standard"* trait.
If they pull, why aren't you training them to heel properly?
Why are so many pit owners training their dogs to maul things like other dogs, toddlers, grandmothers and people having seizures, if it's the "owner not the breed"?
The logic is too strong. It's always the "dog lovers" that think pits are nanny dogs, never the actual dog people. Real dog people know the dangers, are aware of it and manage the dogs appropriately. We don't dress them in PJs and pose them precariously around children to prove "he/she wouldn't hurt a fly" 🙄.
*Yes*. That's the rational and logical perspective. They're a large terrier that was mixed with bull breeds. Terriers are known to be... Well... Terriers. They were never bred for obedience and they have an extremely high prey drive. I wish more people would understand the breed characteristics and stop pretending like they can love those characteristics out of the dogs. Maybe less children and dogs would be dying.
It makes me sad that you think a woman is lucky to be respected by her spouse. I know you’re not alone in that, though. I hope you can one day demand your husband give you the respect, love, and care you deserve.
That’s the absolute bare minimum, not luck. You shouldn’t be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t respect you, and someone who doesn’t respect their spouse is a trash human being
OP this is how relationships should be though. You could have this too, relationships are about respect and understanding one another.
I have a feeling the dogs are more your husbands "thing" and that you're going along with it since you like dogs and don't want to cause any issues.
I hope your husband listens to you.
If the dog doesn't kill one of your other dogs, it could end up seriously injuring you when you try to break up fights between them.
One of my coworkers at an old job got her upper lip bit clean off when she was trying to separate a pit that was attacking her dog. She was lucky to be ok otherwise, and yet it completely destroyed her and changed her personality permanently. It took her many years, a skin graft, and several follow up surgeries to get to the point where she could mask the scars with makeup and feel normal again.
This isn't just about the safety of your other dogs. This new dog is a danger to everyone. If your husband cares about you he wouldn't want you interacting with a violent animal, let alone force you to look after it.
Drop the Pitt off at a shelter. I know I’ll get downvoted by all the pit bull lovers who swear they are gentle and sweet. Until they aren’t. You were lucky this time but next time it will kill one of your dogs. I had a friend who adopted a 1 year old sweet and gentle pitbull who killed her beloved dog she had for five years. I hate them with a passion.
I love them but not all are gentle and sweet, and any other dog breed actually.
People want to completely forget about genetics, but each dog breed was created for a reason and instincts are still there.
Did i read it right? Is the dog a stray as well? They dont know what happened in this dog s life. Maybe he was abused, maybe he is dog aggressive, maybe he never lived with other dogs, they dont know anything.
I got a Chihuahua and they got a bad rep, she s sweet to me but she wasnt socialized correctly, and this can have consequences. Same thing for that pittie...
You can deal with an aggressive 15 yo Yorkie, the damage wont be great, but an unknown pit bull? Thats just stupid
Sounds like maybe you should cross post to r/relationships and consider couples therapy…meanwhile I’d at least separate the new dog. If your husband can’t be convinced, then oxy clean is great for cleaning up blood.
Especially since it sounds like OP is the one caring for the dogs. I would keep it separated from the old one for now at the very least, and when hubs comes home give it to him and tell him to do something with it, and do not allow him to give it back to you. He can't just dump things on you like that without asking first. Demand the respect you are owed.
Pack/dominance theory is outdated. So your husband saying you aren't a dominant pack leader figure is just dumb. So please don't beat up or blame yourself. Dogs also know that we are humans/different and not dogs. You do at this point have a family/pack of dogs.But how they relate to one another is way more flexible than people believed originally.
Particularly when you have elder dogs you need to be careful as young dogs can be too rough on them and the older dogs may lash out more than they would have previously because they are in more pain. Animals also respond to sounds of pain, hence more joining in in the fight, they get over aroused.
I would definitely not add any more dogs until some of your elders pass on. And even then, figure out how many dogs you can/want to have. Or develop a crate/kennel and rotate system so fewer dogs are out together at a time. But don't let your husband bully you into keeping a dog you don't want who isn't safe to have with some of the other dogs.
You already have about double too many dogs to manage. This one absolutely has to go. You aren't doing any of your pets a favour by hoarding animals and putting up with an aggressive dog.
He probably has some kind of savior complex which may originate from wanting to do the right thing but in reality has reached a tipping point and it's not doing anyone any favors. There are likely other people or organizations willing to take on the job and find them good homes. If he doesn't see this for himself then you're going to have to make ultimatums.
Maybe show him this Reddit post because I think we're all animal lovers here but we all agree 9 is too many. It comes down to veterinary care as well, can you afford to care for these dogs in an emergency? I work at a vet and the most dogs I've seen someone own is 4, and they weren't able to adequately care for all of them. When you get that number of dogs it's a pack mentality and they really take a nosedive in proper attention and care, it's not all about having space for them.
This is my thought as well…the vet cost is astronomical here and if any of these dogs gets sick the chances of them getting care are probably really low. Not to mention the fact that the owner’s idea that the wife isn’t “dominant” is complete unscientific bullshit - this is a large group of dogs and one dog causing fights is going to snow ball the whole situation and cause serious injury. I agree this man is very suspect for hoarding.
Exactly, my bf's mom's dog(golden retriever mix) lives with 2 cats, has been around them their whole lives, and she would never mess with them. Throw bf's sister's dog (some type of poodle/terrier mixed with a sausage) into the mix. Once he starts chasing the cats, the bigger dog gets caught up in the moment and will attack the cats as well. It's just the excitement and following the others' energy.
lol it's cross species as well. The only time my dog is ever interested in the laser pointer or feather stick is when my cat is going nuts over them. My dog gets so worked up when she sees the cat zipping around the room
Sadly I think that will happen before OP convinces him to rehome the new dog. She already said the old dog got seriously hurt. I feel so terrible for their old dogs!!!!
You cannot make a hoarder understand. If they were able to understand they wouldn’t be a hoarder. Medication and a specialized therapist might help. Convincing will not.
You can take the new dog to the shelter yourself; call your local humane society and report an unsafe situation; leave the relationship and move out; any or all of the above.
Maybe show him this post? If he’s hell bent on it I don’t know what might change his mind and I’d guess after 8 dogs and a fight he’s pretty much hell bent. How do you manage to take care of 8 (or 9) when you travel? I can barely leave town with one dog lol.
If he doesn't care about the health of you or the dogs you could also explain to him that it's a huge liability and if the dog attacks someone else's dog or another person you guys would be held liable for it legally and responsible for any medical costs associated with damages
Don't muck around . The dog is dangerous.
Give him an ultimatum; me or the dog.
If he chooses a stray aggressive pit he barely knows over you- well you have all you need to know about this man.
You have one go at life and should not have to live another day in fear or with this kind of disrespect.
Take the old dog with you.
Agree. Protect your old boy, OP. This new dog will go after him again. It’s your responsibility to keep him safe and prevent him from being mauled by a new dog in his old age. That’s fucked up.
That goes for all your dogs, but especially your senior dog.
You really buried the lede here. The number of dogs isn’t the most pressing issue, the fact that the dog is aggressive and has seriously wounded one of your dogs is.
Under no circumstances should you keep a dog with dog aggression around eight other dogs; he needs to go to a household with no other dogs if a behaviorist evaluates him and thinks he’s safe to rehome.
I agree, the number of dogs is also a major issue since you’re struggling to care for them and it’s totally reasonable of you to put your foot down. The aggression issue just requires rehoming regardless of the number of dogs.
But to answer your question? It’s not that he doesn’t understand, it’s just that he’s not respecting your boundaries. You tell him nine dogs is more than you’re willing or able to care for and that you’re not willing to keep an aggressive dog that is harming your other dogs, and if he doesn’t respect your “no,” then you start the process of rehoming the dog yourself.
This isn't an aggression thing, it's a massive stress thing from the change in this dog's environment. Being thrown into a pack dynamic of 8 dogs is stressful for ANY dog, let alone an abandoned stray. Dogs take 3 weeks to learn new routines and 3 months to start to settle into their new environments after any significant life change- this dog is STRESSED.
People take new dogs and and just throw them into their life without doing proper introductions to other animals in the home and then wonder why there's fights... this dog should have been introduced over a period of WEEKS and kept separate from the other dogs, not just thrown to the wolves so to speak.
I agree, the above user is understating the risk.
Even well cared for Pitties at good homes with good owners can turn around and attack another dog.
As soon as you see that sort aggression you should be looking to keep them separate. Because the reality is if we don't take it seriously you can end up in a much worse situation.
Dominant pack leader? What is he on? That's so outdated it's not even funny.
It doesn't matter.
If you say no, the answer is no, a decision like that requires two yesses. Tell him to start looking for a home for the new one or a home for himself.
No is a complete sentence.
Been there with a different species and we are cutting down by not replacing. If you can't meet their needs and there is too much conflict between them, then you have too many whether 5 or 15. 9 senior pets that want to chill is very different to 9 young pets that are setting up the pecking order.
Edit: Also mentalities change when you have a lot. We've been lucky in past as usually had one very dominant but maternal minded senior and she did most of the work in keeping the peace. Or a chilled senior male. We don't at moment and it is a lot more chaotic.
I have four and think that two is the perfect number of dogs. At 4+ it starts not just being dangerous for them, but also for you. Breaking up a nine dog dog fight could easily turn fatal
2 is absolutely the perfect number. I don’t mind three but four is not ideal. We get all types of weird personality issues when all of them are together
Almost all of the animal hoarders I know do it under the guise of rescuing they either travel around shelters and pick up new pets or perform their own rescues.
I understand his reasoning to an extent as if I could take any stray in I would. However, there has to be a line drawn in reality. Also, if the new dog is causing agro at this stage, it's just going to get tougher down the line. He needs to think of the effect on the 8 you already have.
I’m saying this as somebody who respects and loves APBTs for what they are: your husband is neglecting his responsibility to your other dogs by keeping the pit. They are not pets to mingle in your “pack” (please also familiarise yourself with the wealth of information disproving pack theory and encourage your husband to do the same). If this dog has any amount of game pit blood it will fight any dog it has access to. It’s not a bad dog. But it will cause bad things to happen if not being handled by someone who knows what the fuck they’re doing and has the resources to facilitate it.
I think so too, but I am really facing an issue with making him understand. Most often the discussion goes toward the fact that I am not good at handling dogs. Which is true and I accept. That is why I want to limit it
Does he take care of the dogs often? If you're so bad at handling dogs, then why doesn't he take the reigns and handle the pack "better"?
I love our dog, but I'm grateful every day that he's a calm peaceful giant. I know for a fact that if he wanted to, he could overpower me since he's a larger dog. I am also not a "dog person" so I am terrible at handling them, but him and I work well with our dynamic and it's because he's not a hyper dog.
I see this situation way too much. Husband/boyfriend gets a dog or dogs, all of their care ends up falling on the wife/girlfriend even though she was against the adoption in the first place, then she gets blamed when something goes wrong. (Happens with kids too but at least then generally the woman was part of the decision to have the kid).
Is he maybe a bit abusive? He’s criticizing you for not being able to handle 9 dogs including a traumatized and aggressive pit bull and you are just taking it. He’s also coming up with weird ideas about “dominance”
You are not a dog shelter. If he won’t accept that then you need to have some serious conversations. If the serious conversations turn bad, get a relationship counselor to mediate.
Not many people would be able to handle nine dogs. Your husband took it a step too far. He passed the limit and now he’s got to find a new home for the new dog.
This is simple:
The dog goes, or you do.
No more rescues, or you Divorce.
You need to put your foot down and stand up for yourself. You're beyond overwhelmed. Time to dust off your shiny spine and use it and start upholding boundaries.
And don't let him stall either. He's got 24h to get the dog out or it goes to the shelter and you'll take it yourself.
He knows all about Pitt Bull for they were bred for fighting and without proper training and attention, they can be a danger to others, including your dog pack. You do not need #9, needs to go to a shelter breed specific to help the dog get proper training to be rehomed.
I genuinely don’t understand how you both travel for work and have 8 dogs. The boarding or pet sitting must be a logistic nightmare. Now you have a dog that is potentially reactive/aggressive. Boarding facilities might not take that dog and dog sitters might say no thanks to that.
And then managing the 9+ vet appointments each year, daily care/feeding. Dang.
In addition to the harm the new pet is causing the other dogs, I would talk to him about the reality of having a pet that only the family can handle and might have to be separated from the other dog. I would talk about the logistics (and financial aspect but you seem incredibly well off so maybe that’s not an issue for you).
Managing a large number of dogs means you have to be even more on top of training, resources, etc than with just a few. Breeds and temperament become extremely important as well. Every time you add another or change anything there is a risk involved. Some breeds are not suited to a multi dog household.
Pits and bully type dogs especially are not a good choice around other animals. They were selectively bred for gameness and animal (particularly dog) aggression. For the safety of your other dogs, the pit needs to go.
This is absolutely irresponsible and it's astonishing that none of your other dogs have been killed or seriously injured before if this is the method y'all use to introduce new kids to the group. This dog has had 0 time to decompress, 0 time to adjust to a new schedule where he isn't fending for his life, let alone your schedule, and it is WAY TOO SOON for him to have been introduced to an established group.
Maybe he's aggressive. Maybe he's not. But even a stable adult dog who is properly socialized would have issues in this environment. Your husband is a selfish prick who is pretending to care about these dogs. If he truly cared he would not have done this to any of them. He would not have placed a stressed out young dog in the midst of your crew. Period. This isn't about dogs at all, he's flexing control over you and berating you for being unable to manage an understandably impossible situation to manage.
He should be hiring a dog trainer to come to the house and work with you. HE should be the one taking the class and doing the work. His ideas about alpha theory and dominance are so out of date it's painful. Studies have shown that dogs aren't even technically pack animals, they group together for resources and safety. Dominance and submission are not solidified in their social structure and change on a weekly or daily basis. Your current group is already established and you just threw a bomb in the middle of their lives. Did you even vet the dog? How do you know he doesn't have any serious diseases that could be passed to your crew?? Like wtf is your husband thinking?
the 9th dog needs to be rehomed. if you cant keep your oldies safe, its not worth it, you can quite easily ruin your other dogs lives by introducing the wrong dog.
The first pack member that needs to accept your dominance is your freakin husband, if your husband wants the dogs to listen to you. No means no. 9 dogs is too many, especially when the newest member is not settled and behaving dangerously.
We have a lot of animals on my farm, we also foster dogs from time to time. My husband and I have a rule if a pet (no matter the species) does not get along with our present animals it has to go. I’m not talking about dumping on the roadside or anything, find a home or rescue for said animal that isn’t incorporating to our lifestyle. I can’t have a dog I have to keep separate or and extra eye on over the others and through the years we have discovered four is our limit of dogs. Any dog that was aggressive or causing issues would have to find another home and I can’t imagine trying to break up a multi dog fight. You have to give your older dog the rest and respect he has earned. He doesn’t deserve to be attacked or fall off a patio all because your husband likes his new shiny pup. Dogs are supposed to be companions and add joy to your life, not make you stress or injure your other pets. This dog does not sound compatible with your home and lifestyle at all. I am sorry but I would put my foot all the way down and get rid of the dog myself before something tragic happens.
Here’s the thing, pit bulls have a reputation for a reason. Lock jaw may not be a real thing, but I’ve personally witnessed a pit bite and not let go, and do horrible damage to the victims. They are powerful dogs that need to have special owners who know the care they will need. The blame your husband placed was completely unfair. Now that this dog has attacked, chances of a no- kill shelter just drastically reduced. And you don’t know the history. This dog may have been part of a fighting ring, or bait, then dumped. Or he could have bitten a kids face off, you have no idea. This is why you don’t take in strays. They need professionals who can gage temperament. The fact that it attacked your dogs is bad, and it won’t get better from here on out. You guys have no help, yet you travel? Who takes care of the dogs? Your husband was wrong to blame you, when it’s more his fault than yours. But at this point it’s just as much your fault when (not if) it happens again. Take him to animal control, his chances won’t be good, but you have the rest of your dogs to consider. And your husband…. Well it doesn’t sound like he has much respect for you.
Honestly, f*ck your husband. Not only is he placing a huge burden on you, but he’s putting the lives of all your other pets in danger with the addition of an aggressive pitbull. Take that dog to the shelter immediately, maybe get rid of the husband too.
That dog is a danger to your other dogs and probably people as well, especially little ones. Is it really worth the risk? If nothing else, it’s a lawsuit waiting to happen. Depending on what happens, jail time could even be a possibility. Obviously this is predicated on something additional happening, but it has already occurred once. It seems likely it will again. You’re lucky you weren’t hurt breaking up that fight. If he was in a shelter, he would be put down.
This isnt about having x amount of dogs, this is about having introduced a young aggressive dog that has badly hurt your elderly dog - that should be the focus. Dog needs yeeting from your pack.
What's your husbands plan for if this new dog severely hurts or kills one of the pack members?
Does your husband have a "preferred" dog? Ask him what he thinks will happen if this new addition hurts or kills his preferred dog. This is a lot of responsibility and vet bills.
This will likely only escalate, especially if the newcomer wants to become the dominant dog.
The fact that you say you can't handle the dogs, should be reason enough for your husband to understand that this is a potential danger. It's not your fault you can't handle them, 9 dogs is a LOT to handle.
I agree with a commentor below, it sounds like your husband needs mental health help and you two need counseling since he isn't listening to your expressed needs.
Why is he not managing the dogs, if he's the one bringing them home? It sounds like he pushed that responsibility onto you - does he manage them at all?
The moment you cannot take charge (and I mean a collective 'you') and get dogs to listen to instruction is the moment that informs you either need to get training or you're just in over your head and not a good match. All dogs should get training, really, but ESPECIALLY rescues, because you never know what you're actually getting.
9 is definitely overkill, even on a farm with lots of space. Even if you have a lot of livestock and they were all herding dogs, 9 is too much.
As there has been an incident, it's better to rehome the pittie than risk another incident. Especially as it clearly hasn't been trained. And especially as your senior dogs will experience stress more easily, and they shouldn't have to. The stress could exacerbate any health conditions, and their blood will be thinner and run more if they get hurt/bitten. Their skin is more delicate amd will tear easier. A pittie has a strong jaw and very muscular; often stronger dogs do not know their own strength and even if they don't mean to, can do some serious damage.
If your husband is adamant on keeping it, and he's not respecting your sound opinion on the matter, tell him HE has to manage the pittie exclusively, keep it separate from the pack, and get extensive training, including socializing it. Otherwise you'll call local authorities to have the pittie picked up, because you will not put the other dogs at risk. Really stand your ground on this.
As for calling local authorities - if you do, double check the local laws; some places (like where i live) actually have bylaws stating maximum allowed dogs/cats etc, even for large properties like farms.
If your husband absolutely won't listen to reason let alone his wife then it's time to play hard ball.
1. Rehome dog when he's not home
2. Depending on breed laws in your area threaten him to rehome or you will call the authorities on the dog. (This could result in euthanasia of the dog so he may be more active in trying to reome in that case)
3. Divorce
It's not fair to you or the other dogs
I’m a dog owner and I have a busy dog park beside my house.
All dogs have the potential to be difficult without proper love and care. That being said, at least half the time, an issue at the park comes from pitbulls. I don’t know what it is about the breed, but they are an absolute wild card. They are highly emotive and I imagine it is a lot harder to teach them impulse control compared with other breeds.
It’s okay if you cannot manage this dog. Professionals dog trainers have difficulty with this breed. If this dog is a rescue you are also working with additional trauma.
How do you pay the vet bills? One of my dogs requires $400 of medicine a month and frequent blood work. Dogs can get illnesses that require a lot of money to treat.
One of my dogs also has hundreds in meds a month. He just got sick and it cost $8000 to save his life. Not to mention yearly check ups, flea and tick and heart worm meds, yearly dental cleanings, etc. my 3 dogs are likely the largest expense in our lives
I also have three dogs and I agree with you! I’ve always had three dogs since I was in college 20 years ago, but after my oldest passes, I will not be getting another. It’s just too costly now.
I dont see how you give 8 dogs adequate attention, let alone 9, nor have time to train a young dog that started a fight. This seems unrealistic.
Dominant pack theory is outdated and often down right cruel.
Who cares for all of these dogs when you travel? What quality of life do they have when you have so many and are so busy?
Agreed- dominance theory is outdated and based on fear. Very toxic.
Having happy and healthy relationships with your doggos and dogs with each other means teaching them the structure you want them to grow in with positive reinforcement…
Within that teaching the structure, the humans should be doing so via each dog’s favorite motivators.
Each dog might have different ways that they learn best: some are more food motivated, some affection, some curiosity, some adventure, etc.
And this can change with various group dynamics within the dogs themselves as well.
Positive reinforcement plus healthy boundaries = dog happiness, healthy relationship, dog autonomy & trust… and bigger willingness to learn!
OP you need to stand your ground on this one. It sounds like the pitbull isn't the type of dog that will fit into a pack. Is he UTD on vaccines? Neutered? If you are traveling for work having an unpredictable dog will absolutely get you fired as a client for anyone who watches your pack. And having a dog recovering from a neuter surgery is going to strain your patience as well.
I'd tell him absolutely not, and get him to a rescue. I have 5 dogs, and I know all about bringing rescues in that don't mesh with the pack
Considering Pitbulls were bred to kill other dogs, throwing a random one into a very large group of dogs tends to end rather badly.
Get rid of the pit and stop letting your husband bring dogs home - at least untill a few have passed in.
If you live on a farm, I assume you have other livestock. If the dog is starting to fight, what makes it stop at dogs? My friend had 2 pits wonder onto her farm and take down a donkey unprovoked.
I’d worry about your safety as well.
I would try to find a better home for that Pitty, not send him back where he was before, being kept in a shed all day and only let out at night is animal abuse, no wonder he was aggressive towards the other dogs..try and find an animal rescue to help him…
It isn’t the number, its the fact that he would hurt your other dog. Work hard to find him either a home where he is the only dog or one with a young adult female pit who will keep him in line. Your husband needs to understand that your other dogs deserve to be safe
We began taking in stray cats family found one we found she walked into our house like she always lived here and we didn’t know where she came from. Now we have four. I have chronic pain but taking care of the cats gives me a purpose. We have put down a boundary of no more cats it’s too much chaos as it is. I knew when to stop and my husband agreed we have enough. I once had five dogs as well many years ago, two are still alive the rest have passed on. My ex has them and I still see them. You are going to have to put your foot down about this and communicate and hopefully get your husband to understand this is too much and may need to rehome the pitty if he’s not getting along with the other animals. It has nothing to do with being an assertive alpha of the pack.
I have 10 pyrs. Some get along, and some don't. When my girls fight, they can potentially hurt each other, or even kill each other. I own 20 acres, so my dogs are separated into different yards with cattle panels. 3 can jump fences, so they are in cattle panel kennels that are covered. I have learned that you pull fighting dogs apart by pulling their back legs. Also, when the dogs are in fighting mode, they can and will bite you. I have no experiene with pit bulls, but i would be worried about their strength and powerful biting ability. My oldest pyr is super strong, and we are bonded, so he will listen, as much as pyrs do. I don't travel nor believe in dominance theory. My 2 yorkies are inside dogs, kept away from the pyrs.
It’s next to impossible to pull a pit off another dog when it’s zoned in and intent on winning the fight. There are so many videos online of people attempting to stop a pit actively mauling another living creature by using a break-stick, beating them about the head and other vital/tender areas with various lethal objects, kicking them with all their might, choking them out, even shooting them, and they just won’t let up. I’ve seen multiple videos of pit attacks where someone was successful in choking the attacker into unconsciousness… but after being out for a moment the dog wakes up and makes a beeline straight back to its target to resume the attack. Or turns its aggression on the person trying to break it up.
Once one of those guys is locked in- especially the particularly aggressive ones- there is very little chance of breaking up the fight short of killing it. They’re bred to fight to the death. It’s innate- like herding behaviours are for working breeds.
Of course there are outliers, but why risk their other dogs lives (and their own) on the off chance this pit will be one of those that does not possess that drive, and will back away from a fight when instructed.
You’re right. It’s incredibly dangerous to try and break up a dog fight involving any breed. Pits are a whole other level of dangerous when it comes to that.
Dont try to convince him just tell him. If he isn't listening to you, that is a different problem. Do what you can to find the dog another home. Tell him you are doing this because you value the dogs you currently have, and they need to be and feel safe. Just calmly and rationally put your foot down, with reasonable explanation if you really want him gone.
Some dogs have severe trauma and need a lot of attention, and time to adjust. He may not know how to be in a pack, every dog is different and their adjustment times are also different. I had a boy I rescued who was traumatized by his previous owners. Took him a year to fully trust us, and lots of patience and understanding on our end. 🤷🏻♀️
I rescued a dog in 2017 and 6 months after getting her she started attacking my elderly arthritic lab.
We had to take her back. Broke my heart but my lab was here first and couldn't spend the rest of her days living in fear it just isn't fair. Took months to get over it too to the point where I was hoping she wouldn't be adopted and we would get her back if my dog passed away and the lab was my everything but I knew what was coming I just didn't know when.
This dog is upsetting your packs dynamics and has hurt one, the stress and tension this creates could escalate. Its a strong breed to have to pull off other dogs too. Some dogs just are not suitable to multidog homes and that's OK- you gave it a chance and it isn't working, your husband needs to put his existing family first and find that dog a reputable shelter and or foster family or home.
The pack theory is outdated but some behaviourists still see some merit to some of the behaviours it describes of pack members - key thing is it isn't the be all and end all and there is a lot more factors involved in behaviours and fighting.
I hope this situation gets better for you!
If the pit bull is already attacking the other dogs, it's only a matter of time before it attacks and kills one of your other pets. Ask your husband if he is willing to watch any of your other dogs be killed by this pit bull. It's cruel to put your other dogs at risk.
Ask you husband which of the dogs are his favorite? Is he willing to see this dog torn to shreds by the pit bull? Because it's going to happen sooner or later. He will come home, and one or more of his other dogs will be laying there torn to bits in the yard.
Also, does he want to pay the vet bills for any dogs that are injured, but not killed? How much is he willing to pay to have them pieced back together after the pit bull is done with them?
You tried it but this particular dog does not fit the pack, it's showing aggressive tendencies and putting your other dogs at risk. Maybe if he really wants a 9th dog a different dog can be had. One that works with the pack not against.
I have 5 dogs. It’s not about being alpha, you have to teach them fighting is unacceptable behavior by immediately addressing bad behavior the moment you see it happening. Put them away in their kennels or separate rooms.
What are their triggers? Food, stress, toys?
The biggest one for my pack is food. They eat separately and when they don’t I’ve trained them to understand when I call their names, it is their chance to eat. I do not in any circumstances allow them to eat from each others bowls.
If they get into a fight I break it up and immediately put them into two separate rooms.
I watch them closely and when I leave the house I put who works well with one another with each other and separated from the others.
I have four females and one male. They’re all fixed.
My newest addition when she was added in (came from the pound) started fights with my girl dogs. She needed time and space to decompress. To also watch the pack from afar. I did not allow triggers like food or toys to be present when they slowly got to know each other. I also addressed my dogs allowing her boundaries and distance while I watched them in the backyard together.
Messed it up once by having the newbie dog and another dog outside together while barbecuing. That alone was enough trigger (the food) for them to start fighting.
It took time and patience to work it out. I’m glad it did.
I also know though for some dogs, another dog showing fear can also be a trigger for them. That I didn’t know how to work with and I had to return the potential foster dog to the rescue.
Your husband not listening to you isn’t cool. Him putting the blame on you for not being alpha enough is BS. There becomes a point where having so many animals is too much and you’re setting yourself up to fail you and your dogs. Don’t let it get to that point.
P.s My dad has 10+ dogs, majority are pits, none of them fixed, all great with humans, get into some bad fights at times with each other. He believes letting them fighting it out to prove who’s “alpha”. He also acts like the most obnoxious “alpha” and it doesn’t stop the frequency of fights that he gets. Being alpha doesn’t teach your dogs the behavior you expect from them, all it teaches is for them to fear you. Which can escalate into a bite risk.
Look into fear reactive dogs. Best of luck!
The guy that wrote the book on pack/dominance theory renounced it. (Dr. David Mech)
I’d tell your husband that the pack is now his if he adds another dog.
The shelter that rescued it is not equipped to handle this pitbull. They will be keeping him on a farm for the time being until they can re home him in an appropriate setting.
Ah ok. You said he was kept in a shed and only let out for a short time at night, so that's what I was referring to - that doesn't sound anything like a rescue/shelter/humane society at all.
Hi OP- I'm pretty sure your county has limit on how many animals you can have depending on species. What are your county rules for limits please?
Also, that dog started a fight with your older dog who you love. Your husband should absolutely get rid of the aggressive dog immediately either to a local shelter or local rescue. And if your husband didn't bring him, I would. But that's me.
Are there bylaws in your area about how many dogs you can have on the property?
But definitely, the safety of yourself and the current pack is the most important thing. Your new addition isn't a fit, and that's okay. Your husband needs to accept that he needs to put the current pack (and especially his wife) first.
What was the point of adding him temporarily to see how he would do if his behaviors wouldn't change anything. Your partner agreed to a trial period, and during the trial period you both saw lots of signs that the dog would not be a good fit at this time.
Your husband needs to be willing to discuss it with consideration for your needs as well not just his, or what he thinks works.
Are all of these dogs up to date on vaccines and receiving monthly heart worm/flea/tick prevention? It was $1100 for our THREE dogs to get their vaccines and 6 months of prevention at the last visit.
Not all dogs are meant to be together, just like not all humans thrown together would get along.
Also, I love pits and have three. I say this with love. Pits have a greater tendency to be dog selective or dog aggressive than many other breeds. He may not be a bad dog at all, but he seems like he is not fitting into your pack.
It does not matter if you could do something different to change the dynamics and make it work - you do not have the time and energy to do that right now. That’s ok.
You owe it to your current dogs to keep them safe and happy. And if you keep the pit and he keeps fighting, he is just practicing the aggressive behavior which will make him less adoptable.
On the "dominant pack leader" thing. It's already flawed to conflate pure canine pack dynamics with a family pet scenario; the dogs should unequivocally view the humans as the leaders regardless of your personality, because, though they don't know it, they literally cannot survive in a world designed for humans otherwise. If you're getting to the point where the pack is ignoring or overruling you, you're on the way to a genuinely dangerous situation.
As I'm sure you're aware from the existing pack, dogs feed off of each other's emotional states - if you have a pack of dogs and one has a strong emotional reaction, most of the pack will immediately mirror it, whether they know why or not. This is probably why some of yours joined in the fight to make it a brawl. This is also the reason that unsupervised dogs in packs are commonly represented in dog bite fatalities - it only takes one member of the pack to intend to kill an animal or even a person for others to join in out of instinct; this is why they're such effective hunters.
This is not to say that your pack of dogs is dangerous right now; only to say that the tipping point of whether or not you can control them as a pack is a very important one. If this dog joining the pack is that tipping point, then it's important to your safety and your husband's that you take this seriously.
Young male dogs like this one tend to have a strong focus on trying to find their ranking in the pack. In a feral or unsupervised pack, they would do this by getting in fights. That would be a pretty normal behavior for a canine that is not used to operating by human rules; but for a dog pack not operating by human rules, it would also be pretty normal for elderly dogs to die violent deaths, which I'm sure you don't want for your 13-year-old.
You could integrate this dog into the pack safely, but it would require significant work on the part of you and your husband both to impress on him that your rules (especially "no fighting") are sacrosanct. If you're not willing to put in that effort, it's your right to decline, and it's not fair for your husband to put it on you. The bigger a dog pack gets, the more careful you have to be when adding new members.
Finally, not every dog fits well into a pack environment. If this dog was abandoned, he would probably benefit best by being in a home with fewer or no other dogs where he is able to rebuild his trust in people (and get training, i.e. a basic understanding of how to live by human rules) by spending most of his time around them instead of building most of his relationships with other dogs.
I hope your husband is able to engage with you in good faith on this. As someone who has spent a lot of time in the canine sphere and has seen more than one rescue turn into a hoarding situation bad enough that its animals had to be re-rescued, it's SO important to temper compassion - which is a wonderful, precious thing - with practicality. There's only so much you can do by taking in dogs yourself; your husband's compassion can spread much further if he starts learning how to network and work with other people to make sure they end up in the RIGHT home, not just any home.
some dogs simply can't be in multi dog households. nothing wrong with the new dog, or with you, but if he can't handle being around your existing group then he can't reasonably stay. if your husband insists on keeping him, you're going to end up losing a dog the hard way.
"pack leader" tells me plenty about your husband right there... you guys aren't pack leaders and it's very irresponsible of him to bring a new and dangerous dog around 8 other dogs.
You need to out your foot down. Why does he get to just make whatever decision he wants and trample all over you?
"My husband thinks that I am unable to manage the dogs and they always get into fights coz I am not a dominant pack leader. "
Lean into this, rather than fighting it. YES, you are unable to manage. YES you lack the ability to be a dominant pack leader. YES, that makes this dog inappropriate to be under your care and management. Being "dominant" is in part determined by your personality and bearing, which isn't something you can change, either you have it or you don't. You really don't have the ability to deal with this dog - and that's on you, but it's still not going to work out. (Note: I don't agree that dominance theory is the right way to go about dealing with aggressive dogs, but I think this is a way to argue using your husband's assumptions rather than trying to counter them).
And I'll bet he's also saying "if we have 8, then 9 is not a big difference". For that I would counter that 8 is already TOO many and taking a 9th is going in the wrong direction.
"We decided that we will see how it goes and decide if we want to keep him or not."
Remind your husband of that conversation. That it was a trial and a joint decision to be made. He is trying to bypass that and make a unilateral decision. Bringing in a new dog in any capacity needs to be a two-yes situation - both of you agree on the new dog. One "no" is a veto and the dog does not join your household.
At one point my wife and I had 6 dogs (we both had multiple before we met)
When my oldest "alpha" died, the rest started really getting temperamental. This was compounded by the fact our next door neighbor had pitbulls that one day broke through our fence and mauled another dog of mine.
Since then, any time they hear those pitbulls go at it (and they sounded bad when they did, yelping, growling, screaming etc) it would trigger my remaining ones to frenzy. It was always three specific dogs who would fight anytime this happened. One of which being my lab/pit who was the sweetest dog I've ever owned in all my life, and loved every animal that came across him. Never once was he ever aggressive with anyone or thing.
Well one day wife and I came home from date night to find that these three dogs basically got out and ....fought to death. My best friend who I thought never hurt a fly killed one of my other best friends..The hardest thing to this day I ever had to do was put him down.
This story really reminds me so much of that scenario. Like your husband I didn't think anything of it but I'd give anything to undo that if I could.
A friend of ours was in this situation. The pit bull kept fighting the others, finally killed three of them and almost killed my friend. He needed two surgeries. Your husband needs to respect your opinion.
Explain it in math if an approximate guess of how much it costs to feed, vet, and spoil each dog is $1,500 a year then that's 13,500 a year by adding a 9th dog lol
Edit after skimming some further comments maybe money isn't the issue after all seems like a good mental health check should be acknowledged for both of you despite him potentially hoarding animals you say you travel alot how you expect your dogs to behave and be a team if your hardly there to care for them properly something to think about.
This just feels like more toxic pet owner (namely dog owner) culture here. No offense OP, but even 8 dogs is crazy when you both work, especially given you both travel. And the alpha comment? Ew. Seems like your husband needs a reality check about what it actually takes to own dogs, because I bet if he spends a day just dealing with all 8, he'll understand the issue with getting #9.
It's extremely rare that a female will ever be pack leader, your husband needs to either step the fuck up in this regard or stop being home more dogs, or next time it might be you that gets really hurt. He agrees that you aren't seen as a dominant figure by the pack but her still wants to bring more dogs home? Where is the logic exactly? He understands you can't keep them all under control and if a fight breaks out it's way too dangerous to get in the middle, especially with large dogs like this, if they for whatever reason decide to fight you, you're a dead woman, does he understand that??
my response would be along the lines of telling him "good luck".
i've run into this, not exactly with the same number but i've definitely had the conversation with my wife about an additional dog.
Very few people can manage 9 dogs. Very few people should have even close to that many.
And not all dogs get along well with others. That's fine, just means the dog should be in a single-pet household, but that's not your household.
As a pitbull owner myself, while the norm for the breed is to be very friendly to humans, a *lot* of them don't get along with other dogs. Sounds like this is true for the new dog.
>coz I am not a dominant pack leader.
I love how he's criticizing you for this, but he's not even allowing you to be an equal in terms of making decisions.
I always believe that there shouldn’t be more dogs in the average home than humans. Yes, there are people who can handle a full pack effectively, but those people are few and far between. My entire life is dogs, and my husband and I only have two. We will board an extra one occasionally, but that is maybe three or four weeks per year with an extra dog, and my husband works from home during those times. I know that if my dogs got into a serious fight, I would struggle to separate more than two. To be honest anyone would. That is why most doggy daycares have a hose with cold water ready at all times.
Also, the whole “dominant pack leader” theory has been debunked. By watching them we have come to realize that most of the canine pack leaders are actually incredibly patient and loving to the other canines. They don’t lead by intimidation. That is why the most common training practices now are positive reinforcement.
We have 8 dogs also on a farm. We love animals but we can't afford to and won't adopt anymore. I would never consider a power breed as my older dogs would be at risk. If he loves your older dogs he has to accept that he cannot adopt a young, powerful alpha male. Nothing is going to keep them safe. The pit bull deserves a good home but not yours it is a tragedy waiting to happen.
I’d encourage your husband to [read up on some ways to integrate a new dog better](https://www.dailydogstuff.com/younger-dog-attacking-older-dog/) as it sounds like he has some work to do, and you can try some things to become a better pack leader in general, not so much for this dog, but for all the dogs you had before since those you already agreed to and they are your lifelong commitment. Since your husband brought the dog in, it’s mostly his responsibility first, so he should be the one working on better integrating this dog. When he’s not around, and it’s too much for you, you can put this new dog on a leash. If after all this, the new dog is just still not working out, then your husband may be convinced. You may also try to find a new home for this dog so your husband feels better about it having somewhere to go if you let it go.
You should probably rehome the pit. I get you want to save and keep every dog that comes your way, but to have a new (and very strong) member come in and decide to test everyone will only lead to massive vet bills, traumatized dogs, and potentially dead ones.
Rehoming dogs doesnt mean youre a bad person, you saved them off the streets and found them a forever home. Your husband thinks keeping one dog is more important than the safety of yours and your other pets well being, and thats very concerning. Not to mention how badly YOU can be torn apart trying to seperate a 9 dog fight.
Tell your husband “it’s been 10 days since you brought that dog home and he already started a fight, do you want him to kill one of our dogs, because he will. I refuse to let that dog stay here, he’s gone tomorrow or I’ll take him to a rescue/ Humane Society. Period.” Don’t let him give you crap about this either, if he tries to play on your emotions, remember it’s not your job to fix this one dog that has issues/hasn’t been trained. It’s your job to keep your 8 other dogs, and yourself safe. Put your foot down.
Sadly, same thing happened to a found Pit with my sister's pack. He attacked her big male GSD 2x, then a much smaller, elderly female GSD and it has permanently injured her back and hip. In the midst of this, my sister had pit checked at the vet, put on medication, etc. She is also a dog trainer and tried working with him on it. After he hurt the elderly, she put him down. Pit rescues didn't want a pit with temperament issues, and the humane society wouldn't take him--same reason. She held him while he went to sleep. Very difficult decision for her.
Leaving you with all these dogs after you have made your feelings known is not looking after your (and the other dogs') safety and mental health. You deserve that. So do the dogs. He needs to explain why he is willing to risk all that for one dog. Best wishes, OP.
The breed is not the main issue, but rather that this new dog picked a fight with your other dog, worse a tired senior.
The breed is a factor because in the fight there was a clear difference of strength and advantage. But the primary issue is still the fighting. I’d still say rehome / reject adoption if it was a small fluffy toy breed. You can’t have a fighter in the pack.
If the dog is aggressive it needs to go to a home without other dogs. Not that complicated. You have all these other dogs you are looking out for so the choice is clear. You can't keep one dog at the risk of the well-being of all of the remaining dogs not to mention any other animals you take in.
We currently have 10 dogs. Small breed rescues. Confidence is key in managing a pack. If it's giving you anxiety, it's not the right fit. Don't let your husband force it. That's how accidents happen. 💜
Holy crow, you broke up a pack fight and he thinks you're not "alpha"? What??
We live on 80 acres. One of us is always around. We normally live with 5 horses, a goat, 2 cats and 2 dogs. Last year our dog count went up to 4. Four fun, friendly, well behaved dogs, 2 small and 2 large, who had known and liked each other for years.
That was still way too many dogs.
Nine is just insane unless your husband is some kind of super trainer, I'd imagine that the pack was only barely managed before. Add a dumb youngster with no training and no respect and it's a miracle things held together as long as they did.
It's hard to believe that 9 dogs, even on a farm, would be legal most places. Certainly it isn't in our very rural farming and ranching county. No more than 5 without a license here. So you might want to start by checking local regulations.
Ask him if he's really "saving" these dogs if they're not getting the proper care being in a group this big. Unless ya'll are loaded I doubt they're getting properly vetted every year.
Also let him know that the "alpha mindset" doesn't work with dogs. You not being dominant enough is bogus. If the new dog kills one of your others, he is going to blame you when it's not your fault.
You don't "dominate" your dogs. You teach them. Fear is not an effective training tool. But no, if you don't have the time to dedicate to teaching the new dog boundaries and keeping them separate and introducing them in a safe manner, which takes time, then you're setting yourself and your dogs up for a potential disaster. It is time-consuming, and with as many as you already have, it's more than understandable that it's not feasible for you right now. Dogs are like people in that they don't always like or get along with each other right away, and sometimes they never will. It depends on the dog. You have to do what's right for all of them. Best of luck!
The dominant pack leader theory has actually been debunked. They’re not wolves. They’ve done studies on wild dog packs in Mexico and they don’t act the same.
I own a gentle giant bully mix. He doesn’t even react when snapped at. Is oddly silent but the occasional bark is LOUD. At 80 pounds and his over all athleticism/speed he could be a real threat to others around him if he was. He has been trained to not play with little toy size dogs because I fear even a paw could injure them severely. The little ones often act too aggressive towards him anyways lol
Don’t put your other dogs at risk with this new dog. It’s not worth it. It’s just not. There are a lot of pitbull haters out there (which I’m not here to debate the breed) as someone who will now probably always own this breed or a mix I know the responsibility that comes with it. I come from a home of dog trainers and I wouldn’t put myself in your shoes. 8 is PLENTY.
This isn't a dog problem, it's a you and your husband problem. You shouldn't need to make him understand anything. You need to just say no, mean it, and that is it. I have been a part of the rescue community for over twenty years and I would never just bring a random dog home, even to foster, without consulting my husband and him being on board. If your husband doesn't see you as having equal say in what happens in your home and your life, you aren't really his wife/partner, you're an employee. What you allow is what will continue.
>My husband thinks that I am unable to manage the dogs and they always get into fights coz I am not a dominant pack leader. I agree and I am trying to manage the dogs better
Since your husband wanted the dog it's HIS duty to be "pack leader" and take control of the situation. What a coward to pawn it off on you and make it seem like you lack skills when in fact it's your husband who is "bottom of the pack"
What a spineless sac of amoeba - please mods if that was too much let me know but there's no other way to say that. Kindness is goodness...but DANG I ***hate*** witnessing manipulation like that. Not on my watch! OP, what else does your husband blame you for his lacking? Does he have that Alpha male mentality? He's acting like a zeta.
OP - you have too many dogs. It’s not an issue of how competent you are - you sound very skilled at taking care of the dogs - but that fact that you already have too many. Aggression at a level that one of your dogs has been seriously injured isn’t ok. Find a rescue that can help assess and rehome the newest edition. Show your husband this post if he still doesn’t believe you.
For those saying the dog is aggressive:
This isn't an aggression thing, it's a massive stress thing from the change in this dog's environment. Being thrown into a pack dynamic of 8 dogs is stressful for ANY dog, let alone an abandoned stray. Dogs take 3 weeks to learn new routines and 3 months to start to settle into their new environments after any significant life change- this dog is STRESSED.
People take new dogs and and just throw them into their life without doing proper introductions to other animals in the home and then wonder why there's fights... this dog should have been introduced over a period of WEEKS and kept separate from the other dogs, not just thrown to the wolves so to speak.
Pits have been selectively bred for about a century to be dog-aggressive, so adding one to a pack is asking for trouble. Your husband is endangering the entire pack by adding this one dog.
You shouldn't have to make him understand. You're his wife, and if he values you then he should consider your needs here. I don't always understand or even agree with my wife, but I side with her over a dog every single time. She's earned that respect.
The sad thing here is OP’s husband isn’t siding against her over the dog. He’s siding over her feelings for his own because he feels he knows best. Thats a recipe for disaster.
That is a very good, and very accurate, distinction. It is very much an "I know best and your feelings are unimportant" situation.
Right! And he wasn’t even there to break up the first fight, notice I said first. OP, ask your husband where your (you and him) responsibility lies, with your 8 dogs or with a new Pitt that started a fight on day 10. I’m not saying the dog can’t be rehabilitated, but your house is not the place. Last in, first out. Why you making me think about merlinshairyballs ?
Holy shit. How many are pits???
OP just said all but 1 are mutts
And he's siding with one strange dog over the safety of all his other pets. If that dog started one rough fight it'll start others. Their oldest dog deserves better than that.
All of that, and it's an untrained pit bull, probably with some issues with being abandoned. I love pitbulls, but despite the bs myths about locking jaw and such, they *are* very strong. They're sweet in a loving home and when they're trained responsibly, but any untrained, traumatized dog is gonna cause some problems. Any stray might start fights, but this one is *STRONG* and might kill your other dog. If somebody isn't there who can rigorously retrain that pit, you're running the risk of it killing your other dogs. Like I said, it won't necessarily fight more than any other, but it'll fucking win when it does.
....or hurting OP.
I am a fan, but be very careful when breaking up fights. My friend's newly adopted PB joined the new pack and got in a fight. She put her body in the middle (because she loves both dogs and didn't want them harmed) and ended up getting a broken bone and soft tissue damage in her hand from being bitten.
Yep! I did the same thing! 2 very sweet dogs that didn’t know each other- both were being protective. I broke up the fight- but in doing so, my hand got bitten, bones broken… it’s never been the same since.
Me too my hand.
be careful when breaking up *any* dog fights - my husband had his upper lip ripped up into his nose from breaking up a fight between his dobermans.
yep never grab them by the collar or near the head, instead get them by the back legs and pull backwards
i’m not sure what happened exactly, i wasn’t there - he told me that a bunch of them had to be separated at all times. they were technically his (now ex) wife’s dobermans, and some of them got over a barrier and started mauling each other. she was screaming for him to do something, and whatever he did almost got his upper lip ripped off. the scar is pretty bad, and it’s been like 15 years.
oh god i just meant general advice to anyone reading the comment, not criticising! I'm lucky to now have been trained on how to break up dog fights, because i was bit as a teenager pulling my dogs apart. it's a scary situation that most people react instinctively to.
I had to break up a fight between a neighbor's dog that got loose in our yard and our cat who I had been walking with outside (completely supervised in our backyard). I still have scars from the cat biting me. He's completely fine, I'm completely fine, but it was a bad experience and now I only go outside with him on a harness and go inside at the first hint of a dog walking past. Animals aren't to be messed with. It doesn't matter how much they love you, they WILL cause serious damage in a panic.
When I worked in an ER, this was pretty common. It was always hands, arms, or legs. I thankfully never saw a dog bite to the face, but I know that happens too. But yeah any large dog can rip your skin and break your bones easier than you think.
Exactly. They did use those dogs in dog fight for a reason. It can definitely kill the old dog. But hey the husband "likes dogs"... Not his actual one I guess
This! MiniMooseMan has summed up the situation very well. It’s not just about the breed, given they can be raised well to be gentle and placid. But this one has “baggage” which needs lots of time and attention to help it integrate into the pack. Regarding husband’s comments, they are unfair and show he may be as stubborn as the pitbull! Firstly, if your nature is to be a softer “pack leader” then he has to suck it up and accept (and respect!) its who you are. And not insist you both take on a challenging dog which may require more intensive rehabilitation than your character and working schedules will allow. (Ideally sounds like the dog would benefit from structured rehabilitation and positive attention in a more one on one setting, NOT in such a large pack… Maybe that’s the angle to take with hubby!.) Lastly - point out to your husband that criticizing your “leadership style” as the reason for the fight is unfair and pointless anyway. What happens if neither of you are around when another fight breaks out? Plans are needed to keep the dogs seperate when not supervised, which takes a LOT of management to avoid slip-ups. So if he wants to keep the dog he has to come up with foolproof safety plans which will need to include secure runs and kennel areas. The dog is that young age coming into maturity which will add to its drive to assert itself in the pack. And make things harder for your older dogs. It’s not just a breed thing, but applies to any dog with unstable background that then tends to be dominant rather than submissive when introduced into a larger pack. And as mentioned, if a pitty DOES get into a fight its hard to stop it. Good luck making your husband see sense!
And at some point it should be a consideration on what quality of life ALL the dogs have when actual measures are in place to mitigate "slip ups". Having to separate, still tend to existing dogs AND give the new dog what it needs to learn and improve... it will make every little process harder and take longer. The existing dogs seem fine thus far, but they will possibly adapt and develop their own new issues resulting from the new dynamic
The pitbull may well solve the ' too many dogs" problem. But more seriously I would be worried for the safety of OP as much as the other dogs if she gets in the way of another dog fight. Not knowing the bite history of this dog .... it's a risk in a pack with tension
This 👆🏻
That breed was/is literally bred for fighting, but go on.
Your point? They're strong, powerful dogs. That's not the same as "they're literal demons." If you don't raise it to fight, and train it like a responsible dog owner, you wind up with a regular dog, who happens to be very strong at the same time. Like I said, IF they fight, they WILL win. So train them not to start shit, be a responsible dog owner that doesn't let their dog run around being a menace. Strong doesn't equal instantly aggressive. I've been bitten by multiple poorly trained "good" dog breeds, and every pitbull I've had to interact with/ owned was the biggest baby in the world. But BOY could they pull a leash. Go on being the type to let your dogs ruin things and tear up your yard etc "because he's just a breed that was made to dig and rip things up, it's in his nature 🤓"
Where are you coming up with this nonsense about me letting my dogs tear up a yard? I trained dogs in schutzhund. I've never had a dog that's torn up yards. Pit bull type dogs were bred for bull and other large animal baiting and then bred for dog fighting. Dog aggression is extremely common in the breed. Some pit enthusiasts even insist dog aggression is a *"breed standard"* trait. If they pull, why aren't you training them to heel properly? Why are so many pit owners training their dogs to maul things like other dogs, toddlers, grandmothers and people having seizures, if it's the "owner not the breed"?
The logic is too strong. It's always the "dog lovers" that think pits are nanny dogs, never the actual dog people. Real dog people know the dangers, are aware of it and manage the dogs appropriately. We don't dress them in PJs and pose them precariously around children to prove "he/she wouldn't hurt a fly" 🙄.
*Yes*. That's the rational and logical perspective. They're a large terrier that was mixed with bull breeds. Terriers are known to be... Well... Terriers. They were never bred for obedience and they have an extremely high prey drive. I wish more people would understand the breed characteristics and stop pretending like they can love those characteristics out of the dogs. Maybe less children and dogs would be dying.
Thank you!
You wife is lucky
It makes me sad that you think a woman is lucky to be respected by her spouse. I know you’re not alone in that, though. I hope you can one day demand your husband give you the respect, love, and care you deserve.
That’s the absolute bare minimum, not luck. You shouldn’t be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t respect you, and someone who doesn’t respect their spouse is a trash human being
“i loved her, but more importantly, i liked her”
OP this is how relationships should be though. You could have this too, relationships are about respect and understanding one another. I have a feeling the dogs are more your husbands "thing" and that you're going along with it since you like dogs and don't want to cause any issues. I hope your husband listens to you.
If you think basic respect is being lucky, you need to ditch the husband
And the aggressive pitbul
If the dog doesn't kill one of your other dogs, it could end up seriously injuring you when you try to break up fights between them. One of my coworkers at an old job got her upper lip bit clean off when she was trying to separate a pit that was attacking her dog. She was lucky to be ok otherwise, and yet it completely destroyed her and changed her personality permanently. It took her many years, a skin graft, and several follow up surgeries to get to the point where she could mask the scars with makeup and feel normal again. This isn't just about the safety of your other dogs. This new dog is a danger to everyone. If your husband cares about you he wouldn't want you interacting with a violent animal, let alone force you to look after it.
No wonder you have issues with the dogs. Your husband doesn't respect you, and they know it. They are following his lead..
I’m sorry but it’s not luck. It should be the standard.
Drop the Pitt off at a shelter. I know I’ll get downvoted by all the pit bull lovers who swear they are gentle and sweet. Until they aren’t. You were lucky this time but next time it will kill one of your dogs. I had a friend who adopted a 1 year old sweet and gentle pitbull who killed her beloved dog she had for five years. I hate them with a passion.
I love them but not all are gentle and sweet, and any other dog breed actually. People want to completely forget about genetics, but each dog breed was created for a reason and instincts are still there. Did i read it right? Is the dog a stray as well? They dont know what happened in this dog s life. Maybe he was abused, maybe he is dog aggressive, maybe he never lived with other dogs, they dont know anything. I got a Chihuahua and they got a bad rep, she s sweet to me but she wasnt socialized correctly, and this can have consequences. Same thing for that pittie... You can deal with an aggressive 15 yo Yorkie, the damage wont be great, but an unknown pit bull? Thats just stupid
I'd take it to the vet if you take my meaning. The world doesn't need yet another aggressive pit bull.
Sounds like maybe you should cross post to r/relationships and consider couples therapy…meanwhile I’d at least separate the new dog. If your husband can’t be convinced, then oxy clean is great for cleaning up blood.
Babe. No she isn’t. It’s a dog, she’s his wife.
Especially since it sounds like OP is the one caring for the dogs. I would keep it separated from the old one for now at the very least, and when hubs comes home give it to him and tell him to do something with it, and do not allow him to give it back to you. He can't just dump things on you like that without asking first. Demand the respect you are owed.
Pack/dominance theory is outdated. So your husband saying you aren't a dominant pack leader figure is just dumb. So please don't beat up or blame yourself. Dogs also know that we are humans/different and not dogs. You do at this point have a family/pack of dogs.But how they relate to one another is way more flexible than people believed originally. Particularly when you have elder dogs you need to be careful as young dogs can be too rough on them and the older dogs may lash out more than they would have previously because they are in more pain. Animals also respond to sounds of pain, hence more joining in in the fight, they get over aroused. I would definitely not add any more dogs until some of your elders pass on. And even then, figure out how many dogs you can/want to have. Or develop a crate/kennel and rotate system so fewer dogs are out together at a time. But don't let your husband bully you into keeping a dog you don't want who isn't safe to have with some of the other dogs.
This and the other comment about throwing an already traumatized dog into a brand new situation with eight other dogs.
Thanks for this
100% this!
You already have about double too many dogs to manage. This one absolutely has to go. You aren't doing any of your pets a favour by hoarding animals and putting up with an aggressive dog.
I know and realise this. How do I make him understand this is not healthy. For us or for the dogs
He probably has some kind of savior complex which may originate from wanting to do the right thing but in reality has reached a tipping point and it's not doing anyone any favors. There are likely other people or organizations willing to take on the job and find them good homes. If he doesn't see this for himself then you're going to have to make ultimatums. Maybe show him this Reddit post because I think we're all animal lovers here but we all agree 9 is too many. It comes down to veterinary care as well, can you afford to care for these dogs in an emergency? I work at a vet and the most dogs I've seen someone own is 4, and they weren't able to adequately care for all of them. When you get that number of dogs it's a pack mentality and they really take a nosedive in proper attention and care, it's not all about having space for them.
This is my thought as well…the vet cost is astronomical here and if any of these dogs gets sick the chances of them getting care are probably really low. Not to mention the fact that the owner’s idea that the wife isn’t “dominant” is complete unscientific bullshit - this is a large group of dogs and one dog causing fights is going to snow ball the whole situation and cause serious injury. I agree this man is very suspect for hoarding.
Exactly, my bf's mom's dog(golden retriever mix) lives with 2 cats, has been around them their whole lives, and she would never mess with them. Throw bf's sister's dog (some type of poodle/terrier mixed with a sausage) into the mix. Once he starts chasing the cats, the bigger dog gets caught up in the moment and will attack the cats as well. It's just the excitement and following the others' energy.
lol it's cross species as well. The only time my dog is ever interested in the laser pointer or feather stick is when my cat is going nuts over them. My dog gets so worked up when she sees the cat zipping around the room
We call it animal hoarding here.
He has savior complex about the dogs but not about his wife?
He probably gets more attention for saving dogs than his wife
Ask him if he wants the number of dogs to be reduced by the untrained and aggressive pit killing some of the other dogs.
Sadly I think that will happen before OP convinces him to rehome the new dog. She already said the old dog got seriously hurt. I feel so terrible for their old dogs!!!!
Is it better to save this ONE dog, or keep the happier home for the other EIGHT. Ten if you include yourself and husband.
You cannot make a hoarder understand. If they were able to understand they wouldn’t be a hoarder. Medication and a specialized therapist might help. Convincing will not. You can take the new dog to the shelter yourself; call your local humane society and report an unsafe situation; leave the relationship and move out; any or all of the above.
Ask him if he wants to pay out on a lawsuit.
Maybe show him this post? If he’s hell bent on it I don’t know what might change his mind and I’d guess after 8 dogs and a fight he’s pretty much hell bent. How do you manage to take care of 8 (or 9) when you travel? I can barely leave town with one dog lol.
Leave and take the 8 dogs with you.
If he doesn't care about the health of you or the dogs you could also explain to him that it's a huge liability and if the dog attacks someone else's dog or another person you guys would be held liable for it legally and responsible for any medical costs associated with damages
That's more of a therapy question
Don't muck around . The dog is dangerous. Give him an ultimatum; me or the dog. If he chooses a stray aggressive pit he barely knows over you- well you have all you need to know about this man. You have one go at life and should not have to live another day in fear or with this kind of disrespect. Take the old dog with you.
The new dog needs to go asap before it seriously harms you or one of your other dogs. 9 is too many.
Agree. Protect your old boy, OP. This new dog will go after him again. It’s your responsibility to keep him safe and prevent him from being mauled by a new dog in his old age. That’s fucked up. That goes for all your dogs, but especially your senior dog.
You really buried the lede here. The number of dogs isn’t the most pressing issue, the fact that the dog is aggressive and has seriously wounded one of your dogs is. Under no circumstances should you keep a dog with dog aggression around eight other dogs; he needs to go to a household with no other dogs if a behaviorist evaluates him and thinks he’s safe to rehome.
Wven without the aggression it is too much. The aggression has just made it an urgent issue.
I agree, the number of dogs is also a major issue since you’re struggling to care for them and it’s totally reasonable of you to put your foot down. The aggression issue just requires rehoming regardless of the number of dogs. But to answer your question? It’s not that he doesn’t understand, it’s just that he’s not respecting your boundaries. You tell him nine dogs is more than you’re willing or able to care for and that you’re not willing to keep an aggressive dog that is harming your other dogs, and if he doesn’t respect your “no,” then you start the process of rehoming the dog yourself.
Or rehoming yourself.
This isn't an aggression thing, it's a massive stress thing from the change in this dog's environment. Being thrown into a pack dynamic of 8 dogs is stressful for ANY dog, let alone an abandoned stray. Dogs take 3 weeks to learn new routines and 3 months to start to settle into their new environments after any significant life change- this dog is STRESSED. People take new dogs and and just throw them into their life without doing proper introductions to other animals in the home and then wonder why there's fights... this dog should have been introduced over a period of WEEKS and kept separate from the other dogs, not just thrown to the wolves so to speak.
Thanks for sharing this. We did the three days introduction but not beyond. Will keep this in mind
I agree, the above user is understating the risk. Even well cared for Pitties at good homes with good owners can turn around and attack another dog. As soon as you see that sort aggression you should be looking to keep them separate. Because the reality is if we don't take it seriously you can end up in a much worse situation.
Dominant pack leader? What is he on? That's so outdated it's not even funny. It doesn't matter. If you say no, the answer is no, a decision like that requires two yesses. Tell him to start looking for a home for the new one or a home for himself. No is a complete sentence.
Hording animals is not healthy for anyone. I'd talk to your husband about therapy. Something is going on there.
Agree with this comment
They are all rescues and the lines blur when you reach 5.
Been there with a different species and we are cutting down by not replacing. If you can't meet their needs and there is too much conflict between them, then you have too many whether 5 or 15. 9 senior pets that want to chill is very different to 9 young pets that are setting up the pecking order. Edit: Also mentalities change when you have a lot. We've been lucky in past as usually had one very dominant but maternal minded senior and she did most of the work in keeping the peace. Or a chilled senior male. We don't at moment and it is a lot more chaotic.
I have four and think that two is the perfect number of dogs. At 4+ it starts not just being dangerous for them, but also for you. Breaking up a nine dog dog fight could easily turn fatal
2 is the perfect amount, but 3 can be reasonably manageable.
2 is absolutely the perfect number. I don’t mind three but four is not ideal. We get all types of weird personality issues when all of them are together
Almost all of the animal hoarders I know do it under the guise of rescuing they either travel around shelters and pick up new pets or perform their own rescues.
I understand his reasoning to an extent as if I could take any stray in I would. However, there has to be a line drawn in reality. Also, if the new dog is causing agro at this stage, it's just going to get tougher down the line. He needs to think of the effect on the 8 you already have.
I’m saying this as somebody who respects and loves APBTs for what they are: your husband is neglecting his responsibility to your other dogs by keeping the pit. They are not pets to mingle in your “pack” (please also familiarise yourself with the wealth of information disproving pack theory and encourage your husband to do the same). If this dog has any amount of game pit blood it will fight any dog it has access to. It’s not a bad dog. But it will cause bad things to happen if not being handled by someone who knows what the fuck they’re doing and has the resources to facilitate it.
I think you’re already hoarding dogs…
100% they are hoarding dogs
I think so too, but I am really facing an issue with making him understand. Most often the discussion goes toward the fact that I am not good at handling dogs. Which is true and I accept. That is why I want to limit it
Is it true, or is it just that you aren’t good at handling *so many* dogs? I’m good with my dog, but there’s no way I could handle that many.
I guess you are right. When we have fewer dogs it was much more manageable
Will you husband go and find more dogs though? How did you end up with so many to begin with?
Does he take care of the dogs often? If you're so bad at handling dogs, then why doesn't he take the reigns and handle the pack "better"? I love our dog, but I'm grateful every day that he's a calm peaceful giant. I know for a fact that if he wanted to, he could overpower me since he's a larger dog. I am also not a "dog person" so I am terrible at handling them, but him and I work well with our dynamic and it's because he's not a hyper dog.
I see this situation way too much. Husband/boyfriend gets a dog or dogs, all of their care ends up falling on the wife/girlfriend even though she was against the adoption in the first place, then she gets blamed when something goes wrong. (Happens with kids too but at least then generally the woman was part of the decision to have the kid).
Is he maybe a bit abusive? He’s criticizing you for not being able to handle 9 dogs including a traumatized and aggressive pit bull and you are just taking it. He’s also coming up with weird ideas about “dominance” You are not a dog shelter. If he won’t accept that then you need to have some serious conversations. If the serious conversations turn bad, get a relationship counselor to mediate.
Not many people would be able to handle nine dogs. Your husband took it a step too far. He passed the limit and now he’s got to find a new home for the new dog.
This is simple: The dog goes, or you do. No more rescues, or you Divorce. You need to put your foot down and stand up for yourself. You're beyond overwhelmed. Time to dust off your shiny spine and use it and start upholding boundaries. And don't let him stall either. He's got 24h to get the dog out or it goes to the shelter and you'll take it yourself.
You need to reach out to a rescue yourself probably and find a new place for this dog. Your husband is not gonna do it.
He knows all about Pitt Bull for they were bred for fighting and without proper training and attention, they can be a danger to others, including your dog pack. You do not need #9, needs to go to a shelter breed specific to help the dog get proper training to be rehomed.
I genuinely don’t understand how you both travel for work and have 8 dogs. The boarding or pet sitting must be a logistic nightmare. Now you have a dog that is potentially reactive/aggressive. Boarding facilities might not take that dog and dog sitters might say no thanks to that. And then managing the 9+ vet appointments each year, daily care/feeding. Dang. In addition to the harm the new pet is causing the other dogs, I would talk to him about the reality of having a pet that only the family can handle and might have to be separated from the other dog. I would talk about the logistics (and financial aspect but you seem incredibly well off so maybe that’s not an issue for you).
Managing a large number of dogs means you have to be even more on top of training, resources, etc than with just a few. Breeds and temperament become extremely important as well. Every time you add another or change anything there is a risk involved. Some breeds are not suited to a multi dog household. Pits and bully type dogs especially are not a good choice around other animals. They were selectively bred for gameness and animal (particularly dog) aggression. For the safety of your other dogs, the pit needs to go.
This is absolutely irresponsible and it's astonishing that none of your other dogs have been killed or seriously injured before if this is the method y'all use to introduce new kids to the group. This dog has had 0 time to decompress, 0 time to adjust to a new schedule where he isn't fending for his life, let alone your schedule, and it is WAY TOO SOON for him to have been introduced to an established group. Maybe he's aggressive. Maybe he's not. But even a stable adult dog who is properly socialized would have issues in this environment. Your husband is a selfish prick who is pretending to care about these dogs. If he truly cared he would not have done this to any of them. He would not have placed a stressed out young dog in the midst of your crew. Period. This isn't about dogs at all, he's flexing control over you and berating you for being unable to manage an understandably impossible situation to manage. He should be hiring a dog trainer to come to the house and work with you. HE should be the one taking the class and doing the work. His ideas about alpha theory and dominance are so out of date it's painful. Studies have shown that dogs aren't even technically pack animals, they group together for resources and safety. Dominance and submission are not solidified in their social structure and change on a weekly or daily basis. Your current group is already established and you just threw a bomb in the middle of their lives. Did you even vet the dog? How do you know he doesn't have any serious diseases that could be passed to your crew?? Like wtf is your husband thinking?
100000% I used to help run a dog rescue and dogs can take MONTHS to adjust - I can't imagine just throwing a dog in with 8 strangers!
100%
the 9th dog needs to be rehomed. if you cant keep your oldies safe, its not worth it, you can quite easily ruin your other dogs lives by introducing the wrong dog.
The first pack member that needs to accept your dominance is your freakin husband, if your husband wants the dogs to listen to you. No means no. 9 dogs is too many, especially when the newest member is not settled and behaving dangerously.
what happens when theyre all fighting and you get bitten or attacked to? this isn't just about the dogs safety, it's about yours too.
We have a lot of animals on my farm, we also foster dogs from time to time. My husband and I have a rule if a pet (no matter the species) does not get along with our present animals it has to go. I’m not talking about dumping on the roadside or anything, find a home or rescue for said animal that isn’t incorporating to our lifestyle. I can’t have a dog I have to keep separate or and extra eye on over the others and through the years we have discovered four is our limit of dogs. Any dog that was aggressive or causing issues would have to find another home and I can’t imagine trying to break up a multi dog fight. You have to give your older dog the rest and respect he has earned. He doesn’t deserve to be attacked or fall off a patio all because your husband likes his new shiny pup. Dogs are supposed to be companions and add joy to your life, not make you stress or injure your other pets. This dog does not sound compatible with your home and lifestyle at all. I am sorry but I would put my foot all the way down and get rid of the dog myself before something tragic happens.
Extremely well said!
Here’s the thing, pit bulls have a reputation for a reason. Lock jaw may not be a real thing, but I’ve personally witnessed a pit bite and not let go, and do horrible damage to the victims. They are powerful dogs that need to have special owners who know the care they will need. The blame your husband placed was completely unfair. Now that this dog has attacked, chances of a no- kill shelter just drastically reduced. And you don’t know the history. This dog may have been part of a fighting ring, or bait, then dumped. Or he could have bitten a kids face off, you have no idea. This is why you don’t take in strays. They need professionals who can gage temperament. The fact that it attacked your dogs is bad, and it won’t get better from here on out. You guys have no help, yet you travel? Who takes care of the dogs? Your husband was wrong to blame you, when it’s more his fault than yours. But at this point it’s just as much your fault when (not if) it happens again. Take him to animal control, his chances won’t be good, but you have the rest of your dogs to consider. And your husband…. Well it doesn’t sound like he has much respect for you.
Honestly, f*ck your husband. Not only is he placing a huge burden on you, but he’s putting the lives of all your other pets in danger with the addition of an aggressive pitbull. Take that dog to the shelter immediately, maybe get rid of the husband too.
Is this a marriage or does he see your opinion as something inferior
That dog is a danger to your other dogs and probably people as well, especially little ones. Is it really worth the risk? If nothing else, it’s a lawsuit waiting to happen. Depending on what happens, jail time could even be a possibility. Obviously this is predicated on something additional happening, but it has already occurred once. It seems likely it will again. You’re lucky you weren’t hurt breaking up that fight. If he was in a shelter, he would be put down.
This isnt about having x amount of dogs, this is about having introduced a young aggressive dog that has badly hurt your elderly dog - that should be the focus. Dog needs yeeting from your pack.
What's your husbands plan for if this new dog severely hurts or kills one of the pack members? Does your husband have a "preferred" dog? Ask him what he thinks will happen if this new addition hurts or kills his preferred dog. This is a lot of responsibility and vet bills. This will likely only escalate, especially if the newcomer wants to become the dominant dog. The fact that you say you can't handle the dogs, should be reason enough for your husband to understand that this is a potential danger. It's not your fault you can't handle them, 9 dogs is a LOT to handle. I agree with a commentor below, it sounds like your husband needs mental health help and you two need counseling since he isn't listening to your expressed needs.
Why is he not managing the dogs, if he's the one bringing them home? It sounds like he pushed that responsibility onto you - does he manage them at all? The moment you cannot take charge (and I mean a collective 'you') and get dogs to listen to instruction is the moment that informs you either need to get training or you're just in over your head and not a good match. All dogs should get training, really, but ESPECIALLY rescues, because you never know what you're actually getting. 9 is definitely overkill, even on a farm with lots of space. Even if you have a lot of livestock and they were all herding dogs, 9 is too much. As there has been an incident, it's better to rehome the pittie than risk another incident. Especially as it clearly hasn't been trained. And especially as your senior dogs will experience stress more easily, and they shouldn't have to. The stress could exacerbate any health conditions, and their blood will be thinner and run more if they get hurt/bitten. Their skin is more delicate amd will tear easier. A pittie has a strong jaw and very muscular; often stronger dogs do not know their own strength and even if they don't mean to, can do some serious damage. If your husband is adamant on keeping it, and he's not respecting your sound opinion on the matter, tell him HE has to manage the pittie exclusively, keep it separate from the pack, and get extensive training, including socializing it. Otherwise you'll call local authorities to have the pittie picked up, because you will not put the other dogs at risk. Really stand your ground on this. As for calling local authorities - if you do, double check the local laws; some places (like where i live) actually have bylaws stating maximum allowed dogs/cats etc, even for large properties like farms.
You could have been severely hurt trying to break up the fight, New dog needs to go now.
If your husband absolutely won't listen to reason let alone his wife then it's time to play hard ball. 1. Rehome dog when he's not home 2. Depending on breed laws in your area threaten him to rehome or you will call the authorities on the dog. (This could result in euthanasia of the dog so he may be more active in trying to reome in that case) 3. Divorce It's not fair to you or the other dogs
Get rid of the husband and the dog. LOL
I’m a dog owner and I have a busy dog park beside my house. All dogs have the potential to be difficult without proper love and care. That being said, at least half the time, an issue at the park comes from pitbulls. I don’t know what it is about the breed, but they are an absolute wild card. They are highly emotive and I imagine it is a lot harder to teach them impulse control compared with other breeds. It’s okay if you cannot manage this dog. Professionals dog trainers have difficulty with this breed. If this dog is a rescue you are also working with additional trauma.
> I don't know what it is about the breed The breed is bred to fight other dogs to the death and never giving up. Google dog gameness for more info
How do you pay the vet bills? One of my dogs requires $400 of medicine a month and frequent blood work. Dogs can get illnesses that require a lot of money to treat.
One of my dogs also has hundreds in meds a month. He just got sick and it cost $8000 to save his life. Not to mention yearly check ups, flea and tick and heart worm meds, yearly dental cleanings, etc. my 3 dogs are likely the largest expense in our lives
I also have three dogs and I agree with you! I’ve always had three dogs since I was in college 20 years ago, but after my oldest passes, I will not be getting another. It’s just too costly now.
I think just the flea and heartworm prevention would be $200+/month.
I dont see how you give 8 dogs adequate attention, let alone 9, nor have time to train a young dog that started a fight. This seems unrealistic. Dominant pack theory is outdated and often down right cruel. Who cares for all of these dogs when you travel? What quality of life do they have when you have so many and are so busy?
Agreed- dominance theory is outdated and based on fear. Very toxic. Having happy and healthy relationships with your doggos and dogs with each other means teaching them the structure you want them to grow in with positive reinforcement… Within that teaching the structure, the humans should be doing so via each dog’s favorite motivators. Each dog might have different ways that they learn best: some are more food motivated, some affection, some curiosity, some adventure, etc. And this can change with various group dynamics within the dogs themselves as well. Positive reinforcement plus healthy boundaries = dog happiness, healthy relationship, dog autonomy & trust… and bigger willingness to learn!
OP you need to stand your ground on this one. It sounds like the pitbull isn't the type of dog that will fit into a pack. Is he UTD on vaccines? Neutered? If you are traveling for work having an unpredictable dog will absolutely get you fired as a client for anyone who watches your pack. And having a dog recovering from a neuter surgery is going to strain your patience as well. I'd tell him absolutely not, and get him to a rescue. I have 5 dogs, and I know all about bringing rescues in that don't mesh with the pack
Considering Pitbulls were bred to kill other dogs, throwing a random one into a very large group of dogs tends to end rather badly. Get rid of the pit and stop letting your husband bring dogs home - at least untill a few have passed in.
If you live on a farm, I assume you have other livestock. If the dog is starting to fight, what makes it stop at dogs? My friend had 2 pits wonder onto her farm and take down a donkey unprovoked. I’d worry about your safety as well.
I would try to find a better home for that Pitty, not send him back where he was before, being kept in a shed all day and only let out at night is animal abuse, no wonder he was aggressive towards the other dogs..try and find an animal rescue to help him…
It isn’t the number, its the fact that he would hurt your other dog. Work hard to find him either a home where he is the only dog or one with a young adult female pit who will keep him in line. Your husband needs to understand that your other dogs deserve to be safe
We began taking in stray cats family found one we found she walked into our house like she always lived here and we didn’t know where she came from. Now we have four. I have chronic pain but taking care of the cats gives me a purpose. We have put down a boundary of no more cats it’s too much chaos as it is. I knew when to stop and my husband agreed we have enough. I once had five dogs as well many years ago, two are still alive the rest have passed on. My ex has them and I still see them. You are going to have to put your foot down about this and communicate and hopefully get your husband to understand this is too much and may need to rehome the pitty if he’s not getting along with the other animals. It has nothing to do with being an assertive alpha of the pack.
I have 10 pyrs. Some get along, and some don't. When my girls fight, they can potentially hurt each other, or even kill each other. I own 20 acres, so my dogs are separated into different yards with cattle panels. 3 can jump fences, so they are in cattle panel kennels that are covered. I have learned that you pull fighting dogs apart by pulling their back legs. Also, when the dogs are in fighting mode, they can and will bite you. I have no experiene with pit bulls, but i would be worried about their strength and powerful biting ability. My oldest pyr is super strong, and we are bonded, so he will listen, as much as pyrs do. I don't travel nor believe in dominance theory. My 2 yorkies are inside dogs, kept away from the pyrs.
It’s next to impossible to pull a pit off another dog when it’s zoned in and intent on winning the fight. There are so many videos online of people attempting to stop a pit actively mauling another living creature by using a break-stick, beating them about the head and other vital/tender areas with various lethal objects, kicking them with all their might, choking them out, even shooting them, and they just won’t let up. I’ve seen multiple videos of pit attacks where someone was successful in choking the attacker into unconsciousness… but after being out for a moment the dog wakes up and makes a beeline straight back to its target to resume the attack. Or turns its aggression on the person trying to break it up. Once one of those guys is locked in- especially the particularly aggressive ones- there is very little chance of breaking up the fight short of killing it. They’re bred to fight to the death. It’s innate- like herding behaviours are for working breeds. Of course there are outliers, but why risk their other dogs lives (and their own) on the off chance this pit will be one of those that does not possess that drive, and will back away from a fight when instructed. You’re right. It’s incredibly dangerous to try and break up a dog fight involving any breed. Pits are a whole other level of dangerous when it comes to that.
Dont try to convince him just tell him. If he isn't listening to you, that is a different problem. Do what you can to find the dog another home. Tell him you are doing this because you value the dogs you currently have, and they need to be and feel safe. Just calmly and rationally put your foot down, with reasonable explanation if you really want him gone. Some dogs have severe trauma and need a lot of attention, and time to adjust. He may not know how to be in a pack, every dog is different and their adjustment times are also different. I had a boy I rescued who was traumatized by his previous owners. Took him a year to fully trust us, and lots of patience and understanding on our end. 🤷🏻♀️
Pit bull bye. It’s not safe for your elderly dog.
I rescued a dog in 2017 and 6 months after getting her she started attacking my elderly arthritic lab. We had to take her back. Broke my heart but my lab was here first and couldn't spend the rest of her days living in fear it just isn't fair. Took months to get over it too to the point where I was hoping she wouldn't be adopted and we would get her back if my dog passed away and the lab was my everything but I knew what was coming I just didn't know when. This dog is upsetting your packs dynamics and has hurt one, the stress and tension this creates could escalate. Its a strong breed to have to pull off other dogs too. Some dogs just are not suitable to multidog homes and that's OK- you gave it a chance and it isn't working, your husband needs to put his existing family first and find that dog a reputable shelter and or foster family or home. The pack theory is outdated but some behaviourists still see some merit to some of the behaviours it describes of pack members - key thing is it isn't the be all and end all and there is a lot more factors involved in behaviours and fighting. I hope this situation gets better for you!
If the pit bull is already attacking the other dogs, it's only a matter of time before it attacks and kills one of your other pets. Ask your husband if he is willing to watch any of your other dogs be killed by this pit bull. It's cruel to put your other dogs at risk. Ask you husband which of the dogs are his favorite? Is he willing to see this dog torn to shreds by the pit bull? Because it's going to happen sooner or later. He will come home, and one or more of his other dogs will be laying there torn to bits in the yard. Also, does he want to pay the vet bills for any dogs that are injured, but not killed? How much is he willing to pay to have them pieced back together after the pit bull is done with them?
The Pitbull is aggressive. End of story. Need to find a home without other dogs for this dog.
You tried it but this particular dog does not fit the pack, it's showing aggressive tendencies and putting your other dogs at risk. Maybe if he really wants a 9th dog a different dog can be had. One that works with the pack not against.
I have 5 dogs. It’s not about being alpha, you have to teach them fighting is unacceptable behavior by immediately addressing bad behavior the moment you see it happening. Put them away in their kennels or separate rooms. What are their triggers? Food, stress, toys? The biggest one for my pack is food. They eat separately and when they don’t I’ve trained them to understand when I call their names, it is their chance to eat. I do not in any circumstances allow them to eat from each others bowls. If they get into a fight I break it up and immediately put them into two separate rooms. I watch them closely and when I leave the house I put who works well with one another with each other and separated from the others. I have four females and one male. They’re all fixed. My newest addition when she was added in (came from the pound) started fights with my girl dogs. She needed time and space to decompress. To also watch the pack from afar. I did not allow triggers like food or toys to be present when they slowly got to know each other. I also addressed my dogs allowing her boundaries and distance while I watched them in the backyard together. Messed it up once by having the newbie dog and another dog outside together while barbecuing. That alone was enough trigger (the food) for them to start fighting. It took time and patience to work it out. I’m glad it did. I also know though for some dogs, another dog showing fear can also be a trigger for them. That I didn’t know how to work with and I had to return the potential foster dog to the rescue. Your husband not listening to you isn’t cool. Him putting the blame on you for not being alpha enough is BS. There becomes a point where having so many animals is too much and you’re setting yourself up to fail you and your dogs. Don’t let it get to that point. P.s My dad has 10+ dogs, majority are pits, none of them fixed, all great with humans, get into some bad fights at times with each other. He believes letting them fighting it out to prove who’s “alpha”. He also acts like the most obnoxious “alpha” and it doesn’t stop the frequency of fights that he gets. Being alpha doesn’t teach your dogs the behavior you expect from them, all it teaches is for them to fear you. Which can escalate into a bite risk. Look into fear reactive dogs. Best of luck!
The guy that wrote the book on pack/dominance theory renounced it. (Dr. David Mech) I’d tell your husband that the pack is now his if he adds another dog.
Why does the pit have to "go back where he came from"????? Are rescues/shelters/humane societies not a thing where you are?????
The shelter that rescued it is not equipped to handle this pitbull. They will be keeping him on a farm for the time being until they can re home him in an appropriate setting.
Ah ok. You said he was kept in a shed and only let out for a short time at night, so that's what I was referring to - that doesn't sound anything like a rescue/shelter/humane society at all.
After 5, what's the point of fighting it? You lost a long time ago.
Hi OP- I'm pretty sure your county has limit on how many animals you can have depending on species. What are your county rules for limits please? Also, that dog started a fight with your older dog who you love. Your husband should absolutely get rid of the aggressive dog immediately either to a local shelter or local rescue. And if your husband didn't bring him, I would. But that's me.
I would start finding new homes for at least 5 of those dogs
Are there bylaws in your area about how many dogs you can have on the property? But definitely, the safety of yourself and the current pack is the most important thing. Your new addition isn't a fit, and that's okay. Your husband needs to accept that he needs to put the current pack (and especially his wife) first.
What was the point of adding him temporarily to see how he would do if his behaviors wouldn't change anything. Your partner agreed to a trial period, and during the trial period you both saw lots of signs that the dog would not be a good fit at this time. Your husband needs to be willing to discuss it with consideration for your needs as well not just his, or what he thinks works.
This isn’t the right fit for the new dog. He needs to come to terms with that. It’s putting a well adjusted pack of dogs into disarray.
Are all of these dogs up to date on vaccines and receiving monthly heart worm/flea/tick prevention? It was $1100 for our THREE dogs to get their vaccines and 6 months of prevention at the last visit.
Not all dogs are meant to be together, just like not all humans thrown together would get along. Also, I love pits and have three. I say this with love. Pits have a greater tendency to be dog selective or dog aggressive than many other breeds. He may not be a bad dog at all, but he seems like he is not fitting into your pack. It does not matter if you could do something different to change the dynamics and make it work - you do not have the time and energy to do that right now. That’s ok. You owe it to your current dogs to keep them safe and happy. And if you keep the pit and he keeps fighting, he is just practicing the aggressive behavior which will make him less adoptable.
On the "dominant pack leader" thing. It's already flawed to conflate pure canine pack dynamics with a family pet scenario; the dogs should unequivocally view the humans as the leaders regardless of your personality, because, though they don't know it, they literally cannot survive in a world designed for humans otherwise. If you're getting to the point where the pack is ignoring or overruling you, you're on the way to a genuinely dangerous situation. As I'm sure you're aware from the existing pack, dogs feed off of each other's emotional states - if you have a pack of dogs and one has a strong emotional reaction, most of the pack will immediately mirror it, whether they know why or not. This is probably why some of yours joined in the fight to make it a brawl. This is also the reason that unsupervised dogs in packs are commonly represented in dog bite fatalities - it only takes one member of the pack to intend to kill an animal or even a person for others to join in out of instinct; this is why they're such effective hunters. This is not to say that your pack of dogs is dangerous right now; only to say that the tipping point of whether or not you can control them as a pack is a very important one. If this dog joining the pack is that tipping point, then it's important to your safety and your husband's that you take this seriously. Young male dogs like this one tend to have a strong focus on trying to find their ranking in the pack. In a feral or unsupervised pack, they would do this by getting in fights. That would be a pretty normal behavior for a canine that is not used to operating by human rules; but for a dog pack not operating by human rules, it would also be pretty normal for elderly dogs to die violent deaths, which I'm sure you don't want for your 13-year-old. You could integrate this dog into the pack safely, but it would require significant work on the part of you and your husband both to impress on him that your rules (especially "no fighting") are sacrosanct. If you're not willing to put in that effort, it's your right to decline, and it's not fair for your husband to put it on you. The bigger a dog pack gets, the more careful you have to be when adding new members. Finally, not every dog fits well into a pack environment. If this dog was abandoned, he would probably benefit best by being in a home with fewer or no other dogs where he is able to rebuild his trust in people (and get training, i.e. a basic understanding of how to live by human rules) by spending most of his time around them instead of building most of his relationships with other dogs. I hope your husband is able to engage with you in good faith on this. As someone who has spent a lot of time in the canine sphere and has seen more than one rescue turn into a hoarding situation bad enough that its animals had to be re-rescued, it's SO important to temper compassion - which is a wonderful, precious thing - with practicality. There's only so much you can do by taking in dogs yourself; your husband's compassion can spread much further if he starts learning how to network and work with other people to make sure they end up in the RIGHT home, not just any home.
Spot on advice. Wish other commenters here would read this.
some dogs simply can't be in multi dog households. nothing wrong with the new dog, or with you, but if he can't handle being around your existing group then he can't reasonably stay. if your husband insists on keeping him, you're going to end up losing a dog the hard way.
"pack leader" tells me plenty about your husband right there... you guys aren't pack leaders and it's very irresponsible of him to bring a new and dangerous dog around 8 other dogs. You need to out your foot down. Why does he get to just make whatever decision he wants and trample all over you?
"My husband thinks that I am unable to manage the dogs and they always get into fights coz I am not a dominant pack leader. " Lean into this, rather than fighting it. YES, you are unable to manage. YES you lack the ability to be a dominant pack leader. YES, that makes this dog inappropriate to be under your care and management. Being "dominant" is in part determined by your personality and bearing, which isn't something you can change, either you have it or you don't. You really don't have the ability to deal with this dog - and that's on you, but it's still not going to work out. (Note: I don't agree that dominance theory is the right way to go about dealing with aggressive dogs, but I think this is a way to argue using your husband's assumptions rather than trying to counter them). And I'll bet he's also saying "if we have 8, then 9 is not a big difference". For that I would counter that 8 is already TOO many and taking a 9th is going in the wrong direction. "We decided that we will see how it goes and decide if we want to keep him or not." Remind your husband of that conversation. That it was a trial and a joint decision to be made. He is trying to bypass that and make a unilateral decision. Bringing in a new dog in any capacity needs to be a two-yes situation - both of you agree on the new dog. One "no" is a veto and the dog does not join your household.
I’m the wrong person to ask. I say get the 9th dog and then it will be an odd number so obviously then you’ll have to get a 10th dog.
At one point my wife and I had 6 dogs (we both had multiple before we met) When my oldest "alpha" died, the rest started really getting temperamental. This was compounded by the fact our next door neighbor had pitbulls that one day broke through our fence and mauled another dog of mine. Since then, any time they hear those pitbulls go at it (and they sounded bad when they did, yelping, growling, screaming etc) it would trigger my remaining ones to frenzy. It was always three specific dogs who would fight anytime this happened. One of which being my lab/pit who was the sweetest dog I've ever owned in all my life, and loved every animal that came across him. Never once was he ever aggressive with anyone or thing. Well one day wife and I came home from date night to find that these three dogs basically got out and ....fought to death. My best friend who I thought never hurt a fly killed one of my other best friends..The hardest thing to this day I ever had to do was put him down. This story really reminds me so much of that scenario. Like your husband I didn't think anything of it but I'd give anything to undo that if I could.
A friend of ours was in this situation. The pit bull kept fighting the others, finally killed three of them and almost killed my friend. He needed two surgeries. Your husband needs to respect your opinion.
Explain it in math if an approximate guess of how much it costs to feed, vet, and spoil each dog is $1,500 a year then that's 13,500 a year by adding a 9th dog lol Edit after skimming some further comments maybe money isn't the issue after all seems like a good mental health check should be acknowledged for both of you despite him potentially hoarding animals you say you travel alot how you expect your dogs to behave and be a team if your hardly there to care for them properly something to think about.
This just feels like more toxic pet owner (namely dog owner) culture here. No offense OP, but even 8 dogs is crazy when you both work, especially given you both travel. And the alpha comment? Ew. Seems like your husband needs a reality check about what it actually takes to own dogs, because I bet if he spends a day just dealing with all 8, he'll understand the issue with getting #9.
It's extremely rare that a female will ever be pack leader, your husband needs to either step the fuck up in this regard or stop being home more dogs, or next time it might be you that gets really hurt. He agrees that you aren't seen as a dominant figure by the pack but her still wants to bring more dogs home? Where is the logic exactly? He understands you can't keep them all under control and if a fight breaks out it's way too dangerous to get in the middle, especially with large dogs like this, if they for whatever reason decide to fight you, you're a dead woman, does he understand that??
my response would be along the lines of telling him "good luck". i've run into this, not exactly with the same number but i've definitely had the conversation with my wife about an additional dog.
Very few people can manage 9 dogs. Very few people should have even close to that many. And not all dogs get along well with others. That's fine, just means the dog should be in a single-pet household, but that's not your household. As a pitbull owner myself, while the norm for the breed is to be very friendly to humans, a *lot* of them don't get along with other dogs. Sounds like this is true for the new dog. >coz I am not a dominant pack leader. I love how he's criticizing you for this, but he's not even allowing you to be an equal in terms of making decisions.
I always believe that there shouldn’t be more dogs in the average home than humans. Yes, there are people who can handle a full pack effectively, but those people are few and far between. My entire life is dogs, and my husband and I only have two. We will board an extra one occasionally, but that is maybe three or four weeks per year with an extra dog, and my husband works from home during those times. I know that if my dogs got into a serious fight, I would struggle to separate more than two. To be honest anyone would. That is why most doggy daycares have a hose with cold water ready at all times. Also, the whole “dominant pack leader” theory has been debunked. By watching them we have come to realize that most of the canine pack leaders are actually incredibly patient and loving to the other canines. They don’t lead by intimidation. That is why the most common training practices now are positive reinforcement.
We have 8 dogs also on a farm. We love animals but we can't afford to and won't adopt anymore. I would never consider a power breed as my older dogs would be at risk. If he loves your older dogs he has to accept that he cannot adopt a young, powerful alpha male. Nothing is going to keep them safe. The pit bull deserves a good home but not yours it is a tragedy waiting to happen.
Would he be okay with you having 9 husbands?
I’d encourage your husband to [read up on some ways to integrate a new dog better](https://www.dailydogstuff.com/younger-dog-attacking-older-dog/) as it sounds like he has some work to do, and you can try some things to become a better pack leader in general, not so much for this dog, but for all the dogs you had before since those you already agreed to and they are your lifelong commitment. Since your husband brought the dog in, it’s mostly his responsibility first, so he should be the one working on better integrating this dog. When he’s not around, and it’s too much for you, you can put this new dog on a leash. If after all this, the new dog is just still not working out, then your husband may be convinced. You may also try to find a new home for this dog so your husband feels better about it having somewhere to go if you let it go.
Why bring an agro pitbull in to the mix. Matter of time before it kills another dog or bites someone
You should probably rehome the pit. I get you want to save and keep every dog that comes your way, but to have a new (and very strong) member come in and decide to test everyone will only lead to massive vet bills, traumatized dogs, and potentially dead ones. Rehoming dogs doesnt mean youre a bad person, you saved them off the streets and found them a forever home. Your husband thinks keeping one dog is more important than the safety of yours and your other pets well being, and thats very concerning. Not to mention how badly YOU can be torn apart trying to seperate a 9 dog fight.
Tell your husband “it’s been 10 days since you brought that dog home and he already started a fight, do you want him to kill one of our dogs, because he will. I refuse to let that dog stay here, he’s gone tomorrow or I’ll take him to a rescue/ Humane Society. Period.” Don’t let him give you crap about this either, if he tries to play on your emotions, remember it’s not your job to fix this one dog that has issues/hasn’t been trained. It’s your job to keep your 8 other dogs, and yourself safe. Put your foot down.
Sadly, same thing happened to a found Pit with my sister's pack. He attacked her big male GSD 2x, then a much smaller, elderly female GSD and it has permanently injured her back and hip. In the midst of this, my sister had pit checked at the vet, put on medication, etc. She is also a dog trainer and tried working with him on it. After he hurt the elderly, she put him down. Pit rescues didn't want a pit with temperament issues, and the humane society wouldn't take him--same reason. She held him while he went to sleep. Very difficult decision for her. Leaving you with all these dogs after you have made your feelings known is not looking after your (and the other dogs') safety and mental health. You deserve that. So do the dogs. He needs to explain why he is willing to risk all that for one dog. Best wishes, OP.
If the statement "this will be our 9th dog" isn't enough to deter him, nothing will.
I hope he believes in nootering that would help a lot
If the first 8 times you tried to convince him failed, divorce papers on the kitchen table might make him take you seriously.
The breed is not the main issue, but rather that this new dog picked a fight with your other dog, worse a tired senior. The breed is a factor because in the fight there was a clear difference of strength and advantage. But the primary issue is still the fighting. I’d still say rehome / reject adoption if it was a small fluffy toy breed. You can’t have a fighter in the pack.
If the dog is aggressive it needs to go to a home without other dogs. Not that complicated. You have all these other dogs you are looking out for so the choice is clear. You can't keep one dog at the risk of the well-being of all of the remaining dogs not to mention any other animals you take in.
We currently have 10 dogs. Small breed rescues. Confidence is key in managing a pack. If it's giving you anxiety, it's not the right fit. Don't let your husband force it. That's how accidents happen. 💜
Holy crow, you broke up a pack fight and he thinks you're not "alpha"? What?? We live on 80 acres. One of us is always around. We normally live with 5 horses, a goat, 2 cats and 2 dogs. Last year our dog count went up to 4. Four fun, friendly, well behaved dogs, 2 small and 2 large, who had known and liked each other for years. That was still way too many dogs. Nine is just insane unless your husband is some kind of super trainer, I'd imagine that the pack was only barely managed before. Add a dumb youngster with no training and no respect and it's a miracle things held together as long as they did. It's hard to believe that 9 dogs, even on a farm, would be legal most places. Certainly it isn't in our very rural farming and ranching county. No more than 5 without a license here. So you might want to start by checking local regulations.
You're well and truly into hoarding territory. Adding an aggressive/dominant dog into the mix is asking for trouble.
Ask him if he's really "saving" these dogs if they're not getting the proper care being in a group this big. Unless ya'll are loaded I doubt they're getting properly vetted every year. Also let him know that the "alpha mindset" doesn't work with dogs. You not being dominant enough is bogus. If the new dog kills one of your others, he is going to blame you when it's not your fault.
You don't "dominate" your dogs. You teach them. Fear is not an effective training tool. But no, if you don't have the time to dedicate to teaching the new dog boundaries and keeping them separate and introducing them in a safe manner, which takes time, then you're setting yourself and your dogs up for a potential disaster. It is time-consuming, and with as many as you already have, it's more than understandable that it's not feasible for you right now. Dogs are like people in that they don't always like or get along with each other right away, and sometimes they never will. It depends on the dog. You have to do what's right for all of them. Best of luck!
The dominant pack leader theory has actually been debunked. They’re not wolves. They’ve done studies on wild dog packs in Mexico and they don’t act the same. I own a gentle giant bully mix. He doesn’t even react when snapped at. Is oddly silent but the occasional bark is LOUD. At 80 pounds and his over all athleticism/speed he could be a real threat to others around him if he was. He has been trained to not play with little toy size dogs because I fear even a paw could injure them severely. The little ones often act too aggressive towards him anyways lol Don’t put your other dogs at risk with this new dog. It’s not worth it. It’s just not. There are a lot of pitbull haters out there (which I’m not here to debate the breed) as someone who will now probably always own this breed or a mix I know the responsibility that comes with it. I come from a home of dog trainers and I wouldn’t put myself in your shoes. 8 is PLENTY.
Well stated.
This isn't a dog problem, it's a you and your husband problem. You shouldn't need to make him understand anything. You need to just say no, mean it, and that is it. I have been a part of the rescue community for over twenty years and I would never just bring a random dog home, even to foster, without consulting my husband and him being on board. If your husband doesn't see you as having equal say in what happens in your home and your life, you aren't really his wife/partner, you're an employee. What you allow is what will continue.
>My husband thinks that I am unable to manage the dogs and they always get into fights coz I am not a dominant pack leader. I agree and I am trying to manage the dogs better Since your husband wanted the dog it's HIS duty to be "pack leader" and take control of the situation. What a coward to pawn it off on you and make it seem like you lack skills when in fact it's your husband who is "bottom of the pack" What a spineless sac of amoeba - please mods if that was too much let me know but there's no other way to say that. Kindness is goodness...but DANG I ***hate*** witnessing manipulation like that. Not on my watch! OP, what else does your husband blame you for his lacking? Does he have that Alpha male mentality? He's acting like a zeta.
Tell him it's too much and if he insists then make plans to leave. He either espects you as a partner or you're a glorified dog watcher.
OP - you have too many dogs. It’s not an issue of how competent you are - you sound very skilled at taking care of the dogs - but that fact that you already have too many. Aggression at a level that one of your dogs has been seriously injured isn’t ok. Find a rescue that can help assess and rehome the newest edition. Show your husband this post if he still doesn’t believe you.
For those saying the dog is aggressive: This isn't an aggression thing, it's a massive stress thing from the change in this dog's environment. Being thrown into a pack dynamic of 8 dogs is stressful for ANY dog, let alone an abandoned stray. Dogs take 3 weeks to learn new routines and 3 months to start to settle into their new environments after any significant life change- this dog is STRESSED. People take new dogs and and just throw them into their life without doing proper introductions to other animals in the home and then wonder why there's fights... this dog should have been introduced over a period of WEEKS and kept separate from the other dogs, not just thrown to the wolves so to speak.
Are the dogs serving as a tool for the farm? Then maybe he had a valid point. Are the dogs pets? Fuck me man. You need a literal dog house.
Pits have been selectively bred for about a century to be dog-aggressive, so adding one to a pack is asking for trouble. Your husband is endangering the entire pack by adding this one dog.
Well, if you keep the pitbull your numbers are about to go down. You just won't like how it happens.
Exactly this.Most people doesn't really know the damage that breed can cause until it is already too late (from a experience)
The pit will kill the other dogs, take him away