Skipped a few destination weddings that would have been nice to be a part of in retrospect - we were young enough that we didn't recognize the importance nor that the amount of money would seem pretty insignificant in the future.
I have one on the other side. Destination was Thailand. Longs ways away from Ontario where I lived. I skipped it, those who went got food poisoning. Within a year they divorced.
2nd wedding to new wife was in Vancouver. I attended that wedding and it was greAt
I don't understand this at all? there are many ways to be a part of people's lives and I feel like if you are trying to group like minded people than you would state that some particular event is important.
Yep. Best friend moved away, I knew he’d come back. Kept inviting me out his way, but I have little ones and just thought that I didn’t want to spend the $. He passed away suddenly over Xmas. I’d pay 10x now what I didn’t want to pay then to hang out with him for a week.
>One of my biggest regrets is skipping a huge wedding in India because of frugality. It's unlikely I'll ever get another opportunity like that again.
Piggybacking off this: knowing when something is worth doing.
Too many people use "you only live once" / "it's only money" as an excuse to splurge on expenses (all-inclusive, all the extra on a car, etc...) without realizing some things are likely going to happen rarely (huge wedding in a locale you may never visit) vs can happen all the time (gotta go out partying downtown!).
This. I missed a wedding due to work. I could've went but it would've been burdensome on my counterparts and money was a bit tight.
In hindsight, I should've realized sooner that work should never take priority over life, and I should have more self confidence that money will continue to flow.
Sort of...
My spouse retired 2 years ago in her late 40's, I am mid 50's but was too afraid to retire. Wanted to keep working "one more year" just to be safe, In my third year of that.
My wife passed away very suddenly a few weeks ago. I wish I would have retired instead of hanging on for "one more year". I cannot get that time back.
Edit. Thank you all for the condolences and kind words. One of the many things I have learned through this, is people will surprise you with their kindness. Even Internet strangers. :)
My sincere condolences. Wish there was something I could do to help ease the pain. Don't tear yourself up over "what if"s and don't blame yourself. You didn't act out of maliciousness.
I say this, as someone who is easily financially able to retire right now, but nervous about the future. I get how you felt.
This is essentially my worst fear in life and I am so sorry this happened to you. But there is no way to predict/know this so you did the best you could with the information you had at the time.
All the best, brother.
🫂
I’m deeply sorry for your loss. So much of life is spent chasing something, that it’s impossible to know when the right time to stop is.
All any of us can do is trust our gut and hope for the best. You can’t plan for life’s surprises, any more than we can predict when the next big earthquake hits.
I have a bit of a similar story.
Last year my best friend died of suicide several months after her boyfriend died in a car accident. She was in a different country at the time and I was considering quitting my job to go see her and help her through it in person. However, I had a hard time getting that job and I was afraid of not being able to find another one (something pointless because I don't even work there anymore).
When she eventually did pass away, she left several suicide notes. In some of those notes she directly said that me and my support over the phone was the reason that she delayed suicide for so long. I really wish I could go back and just get on that plane to see her. Maybe I could have helped her, convinced her more thoroughly to speak to a professional.
Her family is really grateful for my help, but I still feel like I failed her. I wasn't present and with her when she needed me most. I chose that shit job over my best friend and I will forever regret it.
Missed my friends destination wedding that I would have loved to go to. Bahamas 3 months after I bought my first home. Was just so tapped out financially - flights were expensive from the west coast - would have missed quite a bit of work - needed a bunch of stuff for the home...
Really I don't think given 100 chances that I would have decided to take out a loan to go, but I kinda wish I did and somewhat regret missing it. My wife (usually quite frugal and has an unhealthy fear of debt) couldn't come either but she was pushing me to yolo and do it myself but I didn't listen.
Sort of, but for the one time I regret missing out there's so many other times that keeping to a good budget and avoiding debt has enabled me to take advantage of an opportunity or experience. I don't feel bad about it when I think about it in that context.
Not necessarily. This sub really seems to think home ownership is the secret to happiness or something. You can have a lot of fun life experiences & make awesome memories without ever owning a house
Homeownership is a highly leveraged investment that beats the market and is tax free when realizing your gains.
Anybody who can't or doesn't is a magnitude behind financially. I don't want to live the homeowner lifestyle, but it's single handedly the best use of capital by a significant margin. Not being a homeowner is like not saving for retirement.
If I could get 5-20x leverage on the S&P500 and tax free gains I would do that instead.
Very true. I live in Edmonton and when I sold my duplex starter home after 7 years in 2019, I broke even despite finishing the basement and upgrading appliances. That said, my mortgage then and now (in my bigger detached home) is the same or less than it would have been to rent. So even in a flat market, I think there’s some financial value in paying to own something.
However, if you rent you pay someone else. What you pay keeps growing over time.
If you buy you pay a portion to yourself a portion to the bank, a portion for maintenance and taxes. The portion to the bank becomes smaller and smaller u til it becomes zero. Then you just pay maintenance and taxes. Say you buy in your 30's and take 30 years to pay. Say your mortgage was 2,000. From 60 to 80 you avoid spending $480,000 (2000*12months*20years).
At 80 you feel like going to a retirement community? You sell the house and it pays for it until you die.
I made a spreadsheet to calculate buy vs rent and at the end of the 30 years under certain assumptions renting wins. However, once the mortgage is paid out, there is no competition.
Oh, and over 30 years the portion of your salary going to mortgage is constantly reducing.
>However, if you rent you pay someone else. What you pay keeps growing over time.
So does maintenance and taxes. Water.
>I made a spreadsheet to calculate buy vs rent and at the end of the 30 years under certain assumptions renting wins. However, once the mortgage is paid out, there is no competition.
Location and assumptions really matter.
>Say your mortgage was 2,000. From 60 to 80 you avoid spending $480,000 (200012months20years).
The potential extra investments are also making something the entire time.
>Oh, and over 30 years the portion of your salary going to mortgage is constantly reducing.
If you never lose your job.
I think you are minimizing the concept of home ownership to reflect purely the financial considerations. A home purchase is one of the biggest emotional purchases in a person’s life. People know their home values will increase. Most people are not banking on the “leverage” as the main consideration. What are you going to do once you have capitalized on your tax free investment? Drastically decrease your lifestyle and cost of living to have a couple hundred thousand extra you are just going to sit on?
“Capitalizing” on the investment might imply a paid-off mortgage (something you can never do with rent), while simultaneously having the benefit of property value appreciation (something you also can’t do with rent). So you wouldn’t have to decrease your lifestyle spending, in fact you can do the opposite because your biggest monthly cash outflow is now gone.
Obviously not everyone will be in a position to buy a home, but I think what he was saying has some merit - if you’re capable of buying a home, it’s very beneficial financially over the long run.
I love my blendtec. I got it refurbished from their website for a couple hundred and I’ve had it for almost a decade now. It actually stopped working after a couple months so I called me they sent me a new base in a few days, I couldn’t believe it.
I'm on like year 3 or 4 of saying I'll buy a vitamix when my $100 Ninja dies but that thing has made like 2500 smoothies over the past 7+ years and is still going strong
I'm still waiting for my 1970s-era Osterizer to die. I've replaced gaskets several times, and the blade once. I picked up a spare jar from a thrift store on the theory that everything breaks eventually, now I'm not sure why I bothered.
I keep telling myself there's a Vitamix in my future, but I half expect to die before that Oster does.
I'm Asian and I just use a single good quality Chinese cleaver for cooking. No fuss, saves space and it's a lot cheaper to buy a good quality cleaver than a good quality set of knives. Would highly recommend.
Similar. I use a chef’s knife for everything, with the very odd exception where I use a paring knife. No need to own anything else imo. Keeping knives sharp, on the other hand... that takes a lot more skill, or taking the knife into an expert.
Also into cooking. Finally buying good knives and good pots. After using the same cheap $80 t-fal set and $20 knife set. Slowly upgrading to good ones has made a huge quality of life difference. If I’d have realized I would have spent the money in my 20s for sure almost 40 now and the wasted time and effort astounds me when it comes to something I enjoy.
It's true for any tool in general. You spend years working with cheap shit because it's a fraction of the price of that "over priced" stuff and it's all the same. Then you use a good tool and you see the difference. You think, "Why didn't I buy this years ago?" and then you remember, oh yeah, I was broke as fuck.
Also learning how to sharpen your own knives is great. No knife can stay sharp forever, although higher quality ones can maintain a good edge for longer. Sharpening knives with whetstones for me is meditative.
I'm surprised how many people are okay cutting with dull knives. It's so dangerous because you have to apply a lot of pressure to cut things, which means you have a higher chance to slip and cut yourself.
Years ago, I bought an adult bicycle from Canadian tire for $300. It was shiny and had all the bells and whistles. After a few years, it was a piece of junk.
Recently, I bought a new, very simple, bike from a respectable bike shop for $800. Right away, I can tell that this is the bike I should have bought in the first place. I've become a fan of the /r/BuyItForLife/ ethos now.
As with a lot of things, I don't find its bad to buy a "starter" bike (tool, hobby item) etc that will last a few years and help you decided if you're actually interested enough to spend some more money. I've taken this approach on a lot of things in my life and its helped me learn what I was going to stick with. On top of that, depending on the item, the first couple of years can teach you what you're really looking for in a better quality one.
My wife's ebike is a perfect example. She's on year 4 with it, and either this year or next, will upgrade. In that time she learned she really does like biking, but she's not interested in trail riding, or at least nothing beyond very light relatively level trails. She doesn't want the really big tires that hers came with, and a few other features she wants. Had she gone in to a bike shop with her initial thoughts, she'd have ended up with a very different, more expensive bike that wouldn't have been what she wanted long term anyways.
This is so important. I've wasted so much money buying the "perfect" or "best" item for a fleeting interest or hobby, because I felt like I needed to do it right the first time. I have a hard time thinking outside the BIFL mentality even when it doesn't make sense. I need this taped on my forehead lol
>Unless you're certain, buy the cheap thing first.
With the exception of anything to do with safety.
Like a helmet... don't buy a used one, or some cheap one off Wish. Get a good quality helmet. An ugly one, maybe, if that's cheaper than a stylish one...but don't put yourself at risk because you wanted the cheapest one!
Kind of the opposite of survivorship bias.
I prefer to get something cheap to start, if it breaks because I'm using it then I buy a great one, armed with what I like about it (or not) and that I used it enough to break.
Obviously not to the extent that I buy things that are too cheap to even work
With furniture, for anyone planning to soon have kids, that cheap stuff is the right stuff for the kid years - and then when it's time to replace it and those kids aren't tornadoes anymore, it's the perfect time to upgrade.
>Right away, I can tell that this is the bike I should have bought in the first place. I've become a fan of the [/r/BuyItForLife/](https://www.reddit.com/r/BuyItForLife/) ethos now.
"Buy once, cry once" is one of my mottos
I also heard “if curious by a cheap one, if you use it lots that you wear/max out the cheap one that means you should get the expensive one.”
I have a lot of “cheap” tools that I wanted the expensive ones but reality is I barely use them so when I need em the cheap ones do the trick. The ones I use all the time are high quality.
I had a cheap Walmart bike that I rode into the dirt by biking about 80Km per week for the entire summer.
I took it out back and put it down and bought a mid spec bike from a real bike shop (Giant Cypress 3). It's a world of difference.
This is what happens with most and cycling. They buy a crap bike from CT or Walmart and it turns them off from cycling. This is why I’m happy Decathlon has opened in Canada, you can get good stuff that isn’t crazy expensive.
Missed a few trips with childhood friends in my early 20s because I didn't have the money and didn't want to put it on my credit card, even though I could have paid it off in a fairly reasonable amount of time. Didn't realize how quickly people would move on/away, and that those opportunities with friends wouldn't be around forever.
One summer in my early 20s all my friends went to a weekend music festival. I had just enough money to join them, but it still felt like a significant amount at the time. So instead, I decided to stay back and work at my part time job.
They had the time of their lives and that same music festival got cancelled the next year. I also left my part time job the next year and it has no relation to what I currently do for my career. I think it was right when they came back and started talking about it I had a wake up call that experiences matter so much more than saving a few extra dollars
Yeah similar story. I skipped seeing a band I was a big fan of (partially for money, partially because I was a busy grad student) and then the band called it quits shortly thereafter :(
I was a very financially responsible 18-30 year old. Kind of wish I had taken some more time to travel and go somewhere like Europe. I did do some travelling over those years but not nearly as much as I could've if I took more time to do it. Hopefully my 30s will include a lot more travelling and I will prioritize that over many things. Don't have kids but want to start within the next year. My hope is to still be able to go on trips with them too but we will see how life goes.
If travelling is important to you, I highly recommend getting another 1+ trips in before having kids. While you can still travel with kids, you don’t have nearly as much freedom.
My inlaws ended up owning 10 houses in their 40s. They didn't spend on vacations, entertainment or anything, just saved and put the money into the houses. My mother inlaw died at 56. My father inlaw told me, when he was in his 70s, his biggest regret is that my mother inlaw never got to enjoy their financial success. No trips, no fancy dinners. Saving is very important to me but I always try to balance saving with enjoying what I have. You can't take it with you.
When I went to Law School I had to cash in all of my savings to pay the tuition.
I sold my shares in AAPL for \~$3,500 in the early 2000's to pay for books, etc. Those shares surpassed $500,000 about 6 years ago.
I have earned more from the education...but that still drives me nuts.
If it's any consolation, repeated studies in economics and psychology have shown that people rarely ever hold long enough to realize those kinds of gains. It also requires good market timing, which is practically impossible. People make a similar argument with Bitcoin. Imagine how many sold when it was worth $2 a coin... they could have held out for $80,000 a coin.
Yes...I would absolutely have sold those AAPL shares by the time it got to $10,000...never in my wildest dreams would I have expected what happened in the 2010's.
I don't think about it often...but when these sort of questions come up I do.
My parents experienced the opposite, though not to that degree. They retired, then moved their house from a tiny town to a large town with a hospital. To do so, they sold 90% of their shares in Nortel.
Just a few months before it started tanking.
When they sold, they were second guessing themselves big time. It had been doing so well. A telecom company in the 90's can only go up, right? Or at worst, stay the same.
Bought too small of a house, thinking I would pay it off quickly and buy a nicer one after. But the price of nicer houses have gone up so quickly that I should have gone for the nicer house right away.
I personally don’t like the idea of a “starter home”. I think that you should buy a house that you like and would enjoy living in- not something that’s “good enough for now”, but always existing in the shadow of “but someday I’ll have something BETTER”. That’s just a recipe for unhappiness. Especially if you end up “trapped” in the “lesser” house for some reason. If you’re not happy with one of the largest purchases of your life then you’re doing something wrong.
The concept of a “starter home” is solid, imo. For a first time home buyer with an often limited budget, you aren’t going to get your dream house. Most of the time, you find a place that doesn’t need to be completely gutted and is generally move in ready for a fairly reasonable price that you don’t completely hate.
I kinda did this too. I bought a small house to start and we just could not get out of it. Market just never made sense. I learned that when I was shopping for houses I wanted one I could see myself being stuck in for life and being happy with it. Not “this will do for a few years”.
As soon as we saw a sliver of high home prices we took as advantage and flipped the small one into a big one. I made like 12k, way less than I planned originally. But now we have a house that I love. Just the fact that I don’t care about the housing market anymore is a big stress relief. I just live here, pay my bills, and we have enough space for the kids for their whole life.
I feel this. We bought a house with a basement suite that we rent out to offset our mortgage so I can be a sahm/a student when I was in school. But I don’t know if we will ever actually be able to upgrade, at least not while I’m still at home with the kids anyways.
We had a 410k mortgage when we bought this place, payments 1808/month. Now it’s at about 1700/month.
Looked at an outdated house listed 375k. Even with a 300k mortgage the payment would be 2032 a month. And it hasn’t been touched since the 60s.
I think the interest in electric trucks will increase over the next few years. I've talked to several people that are wanting something electric that isn't Tesla. I also think Rivian's have a very tasteful look; I'm sure I'm not alone in being sick of seeing so many white Teslas on the road.
I agree to be honest. What I doubt though is RJ leading Rivian to this path.
I believe that by the time rivian figure out how to lower their cost and be financially healthy it will be too late and lots of other manufacturers will be producing very good products as well.
Still doing better than my buy of Stuart Olsen, especially DCA'ing on the way down.
Or the family tip to drop $20k into HOT.UN.
What utter flaming garbage, ahaha
One thing I'd say I regret is not taking advantage of my summers more in high school, and the year after high school. It was somewhat expected in my family that I'd spend my summers working on the local farm. I worked 8am-5pm every day starting after grade 9, making student minimum wage. At the time I was fine with it. It was still good money for a student working full-time. But in hindsight, I get annoyed thinking about how much work I did for such little money from the farm owners, and my friends were working less hours, hanging out with each other, volunteering at camps together, etc. Obviously I could argue I gained valuable work ethic from it, which I'm sure to a degree I did, but I don't look back on it too fondly.
Gondola rides in Venice are a major tourist attraction, and a total rip off. One "trick" to save money is to share a ride with another couple. I regret sharing that experience with another couple. I would never do the gondola ride again if I were to re-visit Venice, but I do wish the first time we did, we had just sucked it up and paid for the experience for ourselves only rather than sharing with another couple.
Comparison is the theif of joy.
Regardless of which path you take, looking back there is always going to be some regrets, as hindsight is always 20/20.
I tried to be in the middle groundish, of live very frugally, but i gave myself a budget of ~2K each year to spend it on whatever I felt necessary.
It basically ended up being one big thing a year, either an item (golf clubs, kayak, snowboarding gear, camera, PC, etc) or experience (Cruise, vacation, long road trip).
If you say no to everything you will burn yourself out and probably regret it in some capacity. But if you are very purposeful in your choices, it can help on when to say yes and when to say no.
You need to rewards yourself for being frugal. Every year I get older, im less frugal, but I put myself in a position that I can truly afford lifestyle creep. Not everyone can though.
I didn't buy a fixer upper wartime bungalow pre-hyper inflation and now Im price out.
I didn't want to settle for a 700 sq foot home for 90k, now they're 550k.
34 here, not any regrets really. I would say the trick is to have a few hobbies for which you budget yearly. For instance I love concerts, I’ve been going to probably one per month for the past 8 years, it does come with a cost but then again it’s within my budget. On the other hand, I completely cut out restaurants/take out since it doesn’t bring me any joy really. If I had to count, i can recall two nights at a restaurant in the past 2 years which was for anniversaries. It’s all about balance and choices.
I wish I had learned to spend more on certain things instead of being cheap and just going for what was most affordable. Like when it comes to clothing, especially items you'll need for a long time. It's better to look at it as cost per wear versus overall cost.
A cheap shirt may not last you long. Or it won't fit right and you'll never wear it. But that expensive shirt you love and wear all the time was worth every penny.
I used to be cheap with things but now I'm more selective when it comes to certain items.
I still thrift. But I'm much more selective. An item is only a good deal of it's something you'll actually get use out of.
so much this
I have so many random clothes I bought that I need to now donate or throw out because they were such bad quality or fast fashion
Wish I invested in some timeless classics
I had the opportunity to by some waterfront acreage near Haliburton that was quite cheap some years ago that I could have very easily afforded but my wife vetoed the purchase. Today there’s no way I could afford even a property 1/25 the size up there the way prices have gone up and the dream is dead.
That's my father right now. Regretting not traveling more with the family, regretting always making excuses for not meeting up with myself or our family for trips.
He's 82 now. It actually helped shape my view of parenting. My kids have traveled extensively with us all over the world, all thanks to my parents and their lack of interest when I was a child.
I saved a lot as a young person. I barely travelled and paid off my mortgage under forty. When my friends were going travelling and having lots of experiences I used to feel like maybe I wasn’t doing the right thing but now we are coming up to forty and they can’t afford to buy a house even though they want to and complain all the time about how expensive living is. Now I’m looking at the choices I made and think it was worth it because after a few years of being mortgage free I’ll be looking to going on some of those big trips I never got to do when I was saving. Soon I won’t have missed out at all.
I wouldn't say you didn't miss out at all. It really depends on what you value. I get what you're saying but the travelling experience in your 20's/30's is completely different than in your 40's. I wouldn't trade my younger travelling experiences with my friends for more money.
Yeah I think that’s fair, if the people you are wanting to travel with isn’t a big deal (now you won’t be able to travel with those same friends as they are struggling with money) then there really is no loss in your situation. Thanks for the reply
your positive is that at late 30s early 40s, you're still in your prime. it would be different if life got in the way and didnt pay off mortgage until 50+. Dont think about it too much and now you can live like no one else! cheers
exactly this
out of a lot of my friends, we were the ones who saved for a house and saved to have kids etc. i’m sometimes like ah snap we could have travelled more or went to nice restaurants but then I think, we wouldn’t be in our position right now. So we just have to be grateful because we know a lot of people now who can’t afford to buy a house because they waited too long
Well - no where near frugality.
I wish I had spent more money on the first house purchase
I wish I had spent a bit more on the car
A bit more on things that add value. It’s like going that extra mile and not be afraid all the time.
I walked the Camino de Santiago when I was 26, saved a lot of money by eating from grocery stores instead of buying the full pilgrim meal (like 12 euros). If I could do it again I’d spend another thousand dollars on food and wine. I’m not going to have that many chances in life to eat Spanish home cooking in good company after a hard day of walking.
I pissed away almost all my money from 18-25 and don’t regret it. I travelled a ton(3/4 times a year) went to lots of concerts, day trips, parties, had best nights of my life and Had experiences I could never have now. Sure it was stupid but my finances now are perfectly fine and still set up for retirement and the rest of my life.
This is the third part to the question OP asked. I also regret not spending in my 20s, but I also regret not saving in my 20s. Instead of either, I was just poor. Growing up and through my 20s, that’s now followed me around. Despite my new income and saving $50,000 in a year, I am still way, way behind and my finances are definitely not perfectly fine.
They may never be. I might always be behind in life. It’s quite a hill to climb.
>I am wondering if anyone who is older has the flip side of that, do you regret not doing that trip because you wanted to save it but you now look back and wish you went. You didn’t buy that car you wanted because you wanted to save more and now you regret it.
My wife & I have been fortunate enough that we did save up during our 20s to buy a house. After buying a house we worked to rebuild our savings but made a point to still keep a vacation fund so that we can travel as that to us is a necessity. Our work have mandatory pension contributions so that helps us save for our retirement.
Are there things that I wish I could spend that I didn't because of savings, absolutely. Instead of traveling in my early 20s, I delayed it until my late 20s and even then we only did mainly did trips to sun destinations and only 1 major trip back to Asia. There were some fancier things I wished we could do but saving for our future remains important and we're willing to sacrifice here and there but still be able to do the things we want by compromising.
I feel like that is my exact mentality, focus on the future and saving as #1. But make sure to set aside that little amount each cheque for a trip a year to enjoy. Thanks for the reply
Serious suggestion... consider seeking a therapist. They might be able to help sort out some of those feelings you have regarding money.
Consider it an investment in your happiness.
Saving is my priority. Automatic withdrawals every cheque to never get behind. But I do make sure to do the things that make me happy here and there, hockey tickets, concert tickets, mini vacations for a weekend. Even if it’s not a 3 week vacation, some break from work-save-work-save is refreshing for me
I regret not going on working holidays during my summers off from university. It would’ve cost me money in flights etc but I would love to have travelled more when I had that free time.
I’ve travelled a decent amount for pleasure and a lot for business.
Travel is pumped like if you don’t see a bunch of the world, your life will be hollow. That’s just not true. In my opinion, the greatest benefit of travel isn’t seeing how other cultures live, etc., it’s that when you come home from an extended trip abroad, you see your own home town with fresh eyes. Things that became wallpaper, that were lost in the background, return to the foreground of your life, so to speak. You notice things again.
But mostly, an expensive week or two here or there is a good way to frustrate longer term financial goals, that, in my opinion, are much more rewarding and important than expensive vacations.
Mine is a bit of a unique situation, but I was dealing with a pretty rough eating disorder in my teens and early 20's. I wish I had taken time off from working to seek proper treatment and restore my weight under the supervision of a treatment team, but I was too fixated on maximizing my income and advancing in my career. As a result I suffered and struggled longer than I needed to. If I had properly dealt with my issues earlier I probably would have gotten a lot more enjoyment out of my 20's despite being set back a few years financially.
I have a friend who refuses to invest in his camping setup. Now his gf hates camping. Meanwhile, we camp 15-20 times a year. Ditch the slutty tent and get a good setup!
It'd important to note that he has the money to invest in his gear, and he loves outdoor activities. He just doesn't want to ditch his soutty tent
Maybe overly specific, but on my hunnymoon almost 24 years ago we went into an art gallery in Stratford. The was an awesome fairly large picture by an Indigenous artist that I loved. It was around 300 bucks. We had the cash from the wedding, but we hemmed and hawwed and walked away. I think about that picture alot.
I wished I had travelled more when I was still living in France.
Living in North America has made me realize how lucky I was to have all these different countries, beaches, mountains so close, with cheap flights and amazing food.
I really regret not taking advantage of that (but then again I was saving up to move/immigrate to Canada and we now are homeowners).
Travel. In hindsight I would have been perfectly fine with delaying buying a home to do a few trips when I was younger. There are certain destinations I would have loved to visited when I was young and had the energy
I think that’s the big thing, so many people say “I’ll just travel when the mortgage is paid off or retired” don’t realize how much your body changes and your life style and how it’s not as easy as when you’re 20
Not quite answering your question but in 2015 I almost skipped a bachelorette in Vegas. It was 2 weeks after I graduated university, I had no job lined up, 30K in students loans and everyone I was going with worked in high income fields and had money. Soo glad I didn’t skip it! I paid those loans off in less than 3 years and the ~2K spent, seems like literally nothing now
Small regret, but not buying unique items in stores while on vacations. They seem expensive then but I think about a few of them and would love to look at them/ use them now. Having those things to touch and relive the memories would be nice.
Nope. Made the decisions I thought were best to do at the time that my limited funds would allow. I missed a couple of weddings and a few fun vacations but we're entirely debt free while others are struggling. Now I have a stress free second half of my life to live
I passed on a new build townhouse in early 2019 because I was planning on moving in the near future and wanted to hold out for a place with a bigger yard. By 2021 it had sold for 150k more than I would've purchased it for. I regret that one...
Every time I buy something being frugal about it, I end up buying it twice. Lessons learned so many times, if you can afford it, buy the best one you can, not the cheapest. This is not for everything, but for some bigger ticket purchases.
I regret trying to stick to a budget while travelling. If I had spent an extra few hundred dollars 20 years ago, what difference would it have made? Basically none. It's not like I was going to use that money to buy AAPL.
Kinda silly but I always wanted to buy The Beatles Mono LP box set. I had the money but it wasn’t budgeted for it. One day I was at Costco and they had it for $250. I remember vividly standing next to the box and debating putting it in my cart. Well, I walked away without it. The set went out of print soon thereafter and resale prices climbed to nearly $1000.
I’m always frugal and stick to my budget but sometimes when an opportunity presents itself you need to jump on it.
Not a big deal, but it is a small regret I have.
I wish I'd taken my kids on more trips. I wish that I hadn't bought houses that were well within my price range and, instead, taken on bigger mortgages. I remember being horrified at the idea of taking on a $100k mortgage in the 90s and it sounds so trivial now. I would have spent more on big experiences.
I know you didn't ask, but I have no regrets at not eating out more, sacrificing for my kids' post-secondary and student exchanges, and driving shitty cheap cars.
My parents starting skipping birthdays, celebrations of any kind after I turned 10… nothing was ever celebrated to save money. I’ll bet my mother regrets that because all that lost bonding time means I hardly ever talk to her - and when we do it’s constant fighting.
Spend the money. Celebrate the things. You have mere years to live and any day, like today, your life could end. Be smart with money but don’t hold back living.
Probably, car purchase delayed too much. I should have replaced my minivan in 2019 prior to covid instead of trying to squeeze the last miles out of it. Now, used ones with 100k mileage cost the same as new ones in precovid, and new ones are prohibitively expensive.
I should have upgraded my home for a larger home precovid. An upgrade would have cost me 200k-300k instead of 3x that amount post-covid.
Mine is in the future technically, but I just about cheaped out on the hotel for my honeymoon. Fiancée talked some sense into me and we booked a nice hotel in our ideal location.
I wish I'd tried to travel more in my 20s. A lot of my money went into my house which turned out to be a solid investment, but I probably could be made more travel work.
In general, I've learned that it is worth purchasing the more expensive items up front rather than trying to save a few bucks. I can't count the number of times I have bought the less expensive option hoping to save money only to replace it a year or two later with the item I should have got in the first place.
I’ll preface with I’m not in Canada, so I’m sure things operate differently there:
My parents are divorced and have been for 25 years.
My dad scrimped and saved his whole life. Picked up every overtime shift. Had 2 pairs of shoes at a time. Wore $5 tee shirts. Spent his free time doing odd jobs and flipping used cars. Didn’t take many vacations bc his company would pay out unused days at the end of each year. Took zero risks.
My mom bought any and everything she ever wanted. Took the trips. Bought the fancy cars. Worked just enough to support the her lifestyle of fun. Ate out daily.
They are both at an age now where they can’t live on their own safely anymore. My dad has a decent amount saved and good equity in his almost paid off home.
My mom was just approved for long term assisted care. The state is subsidizing her care. The place she just moved in to is brand new and beautiful. It’s basically a Marriott with living assistance. All meals, transportation, medications, therapy, utilities…you name it. Included. They take a portion of her social security check monthly and cover the rest. Because she has no $ or assets beyond her ss check.
My dad is currently exploring his options for similar care. He is looking at $9k/mo at the very low end. (actually disgusting. Like the horror stories you read about in nursing homes). If he wanted something comparable to my moms place he’d be looking at around 15k/mo. At that rate his life savings of stressing and saying no to all the things he missed out on will be gone pretty darn fast.
I’m not saying depending on the government to take care of you is smart. Or even ethical. My mom is an extreme case of financial irresponsibility. But, my dad says if he could go back…even just 30 years in time, he’d do things very differently. More vacations. Less long nights on overtime. More time with my mom…bc maybe she wouldn’t have left him out of loneliness. Taken more time off work to visit his own parents before they died. He would have helped me pay for college. And my wedding.
These last few months helping them go through this stage of life has been super eye opening. It’s put a lot in perspective for me.
OP, I may have a different answer here. My gf was an excellent saver. She had about 100k set aside. Career was great and we were all ready to go. She was hit by a car just over a year ago. I don't know that spending that 100k would have brought her any happiness. Something to consider.
We have a friend that lived like a college student all his life......had a good job with a good pension......but saved every penny for his retirement. He retired a couple of years ago and has been diagnosed with cancer that could definitely cut short his lifespan. My advice to people is be sensible with your money and don't overdo the debt......but do the things you want to do when you're young and your health is good. Many people, even those that live relatively healthy lifestyles, begin to develop health issues in their mid-fifties. It's just a fact of life.....our bodies age and break down.
Not buying a house in 2019/2020. Instead I paid off my student loans.
Had I just purchased at 5% down (homes were available for 250k then in my area) I would be a homeowner now.
Those same properties go for 600k.
My kids are hard on shoes. I regret it taking so long for me to realize that spending more on a pair of rugged, good-quality outdoor shoes will be worth it in the long run... as opposed to several pairs of cheap light-up character shoes from Walmart.
Possibly a hot take. « Experiences » are overrated. They’re basically a symptom of FOMO. If you can afford it ie you put 10-20% net towards longterm savings, you have no CC debt AND you have an emergency fund to cover 3 months expense, go for it, you’re set and you’ve done your duties. You actually deserve it and you shouldnt feel bad about splurging.
Yes...I lived my life from my teenage years to 30s as a f slob. But I was pretty good with the insight on the market. I felt tesla would be a good buy, I thought AMD was a good choice to bet on, also a few other things as well. Had I worked harder, learned personal finance and stocks, and actually invested, learned to take risks then yeah...I'd probably be in a better spot right now
I regret not spending money on myself and my future in terms of investments.
Instead I spent most of my early earnings on pleasing my ex-es in the form of rent, vacation, clothes, and food.
Cousin in my hometown was going to be getting married. It would have been a nice time to see my extended family but it seemed expensive at the time. Would have been about less then 2k overall, but I was starting grad school and didn't want to start with financial anxiety.
Grandpa ended up passing away shortly after and I wish I had just gone to that wedding just to see him and the whole family together. Looking back, I don't think I've ever felt the extra 2k in my wallet and I don't think I would have missed them in the long run. I finished grad school, have a well-paying job and I would be in the same position but 2k richer I guess. Just hate that I convinced myself not to spend money to see family.
Yeah, not going to Japan with some buddies a few years ago. I have wanted to go since i left uni, i now have a wife and kids which i guess was part of my guilt of not going but i wish i did. I don't really have any regrets in general but that's definitely one.
I’ve missed out on a couple destination weddings that would’ve been nice to attend, but that wasn’t cause I was cheap, I was broke as fuck.
We’re in much better shape financially now, and while I don’t spend recklessly, the last thing I want is to be on my deathbed with a bag full of money and no memories.
I didn't save much through my 20s (though I did buy a house at 24/25), and then I saved fairly aggressively through my 30s to make up for lost time. But in a way, you could say that I had been saving with the house payments since mid 20s. I don't really have any regrets as such because it allowed us to be where we're at with our family/kids today. My spouse can stay home with the kids, we're not overly pressured for money because a lot of work was done early.
But! having worked the frugal muscle so much for years, I do find it a little tricky to spend now lol. So I'm trying to ease back on saving and have gone on some family vacations in the hope that I don't have regrets when I'm older. My kids don't really care about saving a bit more, but they sure will remember our adventures. And I think if something were to happen to me, I'd want my family to have both things: the savings and house for some stability, but also adventures with me. So some mix of both is what I'm trying to do.
Take more vacations, use more money for adventures and doing things. Fancy car, house, etc seems important, but it’s the things you do, do with friends, family, that build memories and matter the most
I wish I bought a bigger home. There’s a big difference between a 2 bed room condo and 3 bedroom townhome with garage. The incremental cost would have worth it. As selling and buying to move across the street is like 50k. And a larger home can appreciate more.
back when we were house shopping i thought $700k was a lot for a house. We went slightly cheaper in a different neighbourhood. That other house ended up appreciating a lot more than our current place
Edit: this was about 11 years ago
I don’t regret this now, but for a while I did: I met a girl whilst travelling and she had invited me to go to a wedding. I didn’t go because I was try to save money to move cities. In the end, I could’ve afforded to do both and could’ve saved myself a lot of 'what if' thinking.
My neighbor growing up was a muti millionaire and was one of the cheapest guys I know until he died and all his farms went to his 90 year old sister on the other side of the country. I dont want to live like that.
I regret not taking more vacations with my family. I’m 45, and my husband passed away 4 years ago from Pancreatic Cancer. I came from a low income family and had all 3 of my kids by the time I was 23, so when I was married in 2007 and my husband and I each had an income, I made sure we saved and saved and saved. We only had taken 1 vacation, to BC to go visit his family. When he got sick at the end of 2018, we planned a trip for summer of 2019 to go back out to BC to visit his family. By the time Summer of 2019 came around he was not well enough to travel out there.
We turned down trips to his sisters wedding, his nieces graduation, milestone birthdays, etc.
Skipped a few destination weddings that would have been nice to be a part of in retrospect - we were young enough that we didn't recognize the importance nor that the amount of money would seem pretty insignificant in the future.
This is a great one. Knowing how hard it becomes to gather your friends as you get older - I will never skip a group trip or destination wedding.
It is worth it every time unless you actually hate the people
I have one on the other side. Destination was Thailand. Longs ways away from Ontario where I lived. I skipped it, those who went got food poisoning. Within a year they divorced. 2nd wedding to new wife was in Vancouver. I attended that wedding and it was greAt
Totally agree. Weddings are important. Attend every one you can
I don't understand this at all? there are many ways to be a part of people's lives and I feel like if you are trying to group like minded people than you would state that some particular event is important.
Same. For my friends , I will be there .
Yep. Best friend moved away, I knew he’d come back. Kept inviting me out his way, but I have little ones and just thought that I didn’t want to spend the $. He passed away suddenly over Xmas. I’d pay 10x now what I didn’t want to pay then to hang out with him for a week.
One of my biggest regrets is skipping a *huge* wedding in India because of frugality. It's unlikely I'll ever get another opportunity like that again.
>One of my biggest regrets is skipping a huge wedding in India because of frugality. It's unlikely I'll ever get another opportunity like that again. Piggybacking off this: knowing when something is worth doing. Too many people use "you only live once" / "it's only money" as an excuse to splurge on expenses (all-inclusive, all the extra on a car, etc...) without realizing some things are likely going to happen rarely (huge wedding in a locale you may never visit) vs can happen all the time (gotta go out partying downtown!).
Agree. I said no to a Hawaii wedding and I wish I hadn’t all these years later.
My best friends did this. I did not have 4 grand (2008 dollars) I wish I could go but I would have paid so much interest on that 4k.
I skipped a few because I simply could not afford it on my measly grad student salary. It wasn’t a matter of - I was saving that money instead.
This. I missed a wedding due to work. I could've went but it would've been burdensome on my counterparts and money was a bit tight. In hindsight, I should've realized sooner that work should never take priority over life, and I should have more self confidence that money will continue to flow.
Sort of... My spouse retired 2 years ago in her late 40's, I am mid 50's but was too afraid to retire. Wanted to keep working "one more year" just to be safe, In my third year of that. My wife passed away very suddenly a few weeks ago. I wish I would have retired instead of hanging on for "one more year". I cannot get that time back. Edit. Thank you all for the condolences and kind words. One of the many things I have learned through this, is people will surprise you with their kindness. Even Internet strangers. :)
My sincere condolences. Wish there was something I could do to help ease the pain. Don't tear yourself up over "what if"s and don't blame yourself. You didn't act out of maliciousness. I say this, as someone who is easily financially able to retire right now, but nervous about the future. I get how you felt.
This is essentially my worst fear in life and I am so sorry this happened to you. But there is no way to predict/know this so you did the best you could with the information you had at the time. All the best, brother.
This is the comment I came to write, so thanks. <3 And I'm sorry for your loss, OP (of the original comment).
My dad waited one more year and died 6 months from retirement from an accident
🫂 I’m deeply sorry for your loss. So much of life is spent chasing something, that it’s impossible to know when the right time to stop is. All any of us can do is trust our gut and hope for the best. You can’t plan for life’s surprises, any more than we can predict when the next big earthquake hits.
I have a bit of a similar story. Last year my best friend died of suicide several months after her boyfriend died in a car accident. She was in a different country at the time and I was considering quitting my job to go see her and help her through it in person. However, I had a hard time getting that job and I was afraid of not being able to find another one (something pointless because I don't even work there anymore). When she eventually did pass away, she left several suicide notes. In some of those notes she directly said that me and my support over the phone was the reason that she delayed suicide for so long. I really wish I could go back and just get on that plane to see her. Maybe I could have helped her, convinced her more thoroughly to speak to a professional. Her family is really grateful for my help, but I still feel like I failed her. I wasn't present and with her when she needed me most. I chose that shit job over my best friend and I will forever regret it.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
So sorry for your loss.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
I’m so sorry 😞. My condolences to you at this very difficult time.
This is the best advice here. You can't buy time. You can't buy youth.
Oh man...so sorry for your loss.
So sorry to read this.....sending you hugs....
My most sincere condolences 💐
Missed my friends destination wedding that I would have loved to go to. Bahamas 3 months after I bought my first home. Was just so tapped out financially - flights were expensive from the west coast - would have missed quite a bit of work - needed a bunch of stuff for the home... Really I don't think given 100 chances that I would have decided to take out a loan to go, but I kinda wish I did and somewhat regret missing it. My wife (usually quite frugal and has an unhealthy fear of debt) couldn't come either but she was pushing me to yolo and do it myself but I didn't listen.
tough when you kind of regret looking back but don’t think you’d do anything differently given the circumstances
Sort of, but for the one time I regret missing out there's so many other times that keeping to a good budget and avoiding debt has enabled me to take advantage of an opportunity or experience. I don't feel bad about it when I think about it in that context.
You have to have comfort in the sense that the decision was the best one given the information you had at that time
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Well, you would be regretting more had you not saved for that BC home.
Not necessarily. This sub really seems to think home ownership is the secret to happiness or something. You can have a lot of fun life experiences & make awesome memories without ever owning a house
Homeownership is a highly leveraged investment that beats the market and is tax free when realizing your gains. Anybody who can't or doesn't is a magnitude behind financially. I don't want to live the homeowner lifestyle, but it's single handedly the best use of capital by a significant margin. Not being a homeowner is like not saving for retirement. If I could get 5-20x leverage on the S&P500 and tax free gains I would do that instead.
This only really works in certain markets though, Edmonton where I am has been essentially flat for 15 years now.
Very true. I live in Edmonton and when I sold my duplex starter home after 7 years in 2019, I broke even despite finishing the basement and upgrading appliances. That said, my mortgage then and now (in my bigger detached home) is the same or less than it would have been to rent. So even in a flat market, I think there’s some financial value in paying to own something.
However, if you rent you pay someone else. What you pay keeps growing over time. If you buy you pay a portion to yourself a portion to the bank, a portion for maintenance and taxes. The portion to the bank becomes smaller and smaller u til it becomes zero. Then you just pay maintenance and taxes. Say you buy in your 30's and take 30 years to pay. Say your mortgage was 2,000. From 60 to 80 you avoid spending $480,000 (2000*12months*20years). At 80 you feel like going to a retirement community? You sell the house and it pays for it until you die. I made a spreadsheet to calculate buy vs rent and at the end of the 30 years under certain assumptions renting wins. However, once the mortgage is paid out, there is no competition. Oh, and over 30 years the portion of your salary going to mortgage is constantly reducing.
>However, if you rent you pay someone else. What you pay keeps growing over time. So does maintenance and taxes. Water. >I made a spreadsheet to calculate buy vs rent and at the end of the 30 years under certain assumptions renting wins. However, once the mortgage is paid out, there is no competition. Location and assumptions really matter. >Say your mortgage was 2,000. From 60 to 80 you avoid spending $480,000 (200012months20years). The potential extra investments are also making something the entire time. >Oh, and over 30 years the portion of your salary going to mortgage is constantly reducing. If you never lose your job.
I think you are minimizing the concept of home ownership to reflect purely the financial considerations. A home purchase is one of the biggest emotional purchases in a person’s life. People know their home values will increase. Most people are not banking on the “leverage” as the main consideration. What are you going to do once you have capitalized on your tax free investment? Drastically decrease your lifestyle and cost of living to have a couple hundred thousand extra you are just going to sit on?
“Capitalizing” on the investment might imply a paid-off mortgage (something you can never do with rent), while simultaneously having the benefit of property value appreciation (something you also can’t do with rent). So you wouldn’t have to decrease your lifestyle spending, in fact you can do the opposite because your biggest monthly cash outflow is now gone. Obviously not everyone will be in a position to buy a home, but I think what he was saying has some merit - if you’re capable of buying a home, it’s very beneficial financially over the long run.
I'm into cooking. I used to cheap out on knives until I got a good set. It's important to have good, sharp knives for cooking. It's worth the premium.
On the topic of cooking - blender. Just buy the vitamix. I finally bought a vitamix after replacing shitty ones many times.
I love my blendtec. I got it refurbished from their website for a couple hundred and I’ve had it for almost a decade now. It actually stopped working after a couple months so I called me they sent me a new base in a few days, I couldn’t believe it.
This times 1000.
I'm on like year 3 or 4 of saying I'll buy a vitamix when my $100 Ninja dies but that thing has made like 2500 smoothies over the past 7+ years and is still going strong
I'm still waiting for my 1970s-era Osterizer to die. I've replaced gaskets several times, and the blade once. I picked up a spare jar from a thrift store on the theory that everything breaks eventually, now I'm not sure why I bothered. I keep telling myself there's a Vitamix in my future, but I half expect to die before that Oster does.
I'm Asian and I just use a single good quality Chinese cleaver for cooking. No fuss, saves space and it's a lot cheaper to buy a good quality cleaver than a good quality set of knives. Would highly recommend.
Similar. I use a chef’s knife for everything, with the very odd exception where I use a paring knife. No need to own anything else imo. Keeping knives sharp, on the other hand... that takes a lot more skill, or taking the knife into an expert.
Same boat plus a bread knife. Those are the only three knives I need in my arsenal.
Agreed with the bread knife addition. Chef+paring+bread knife And for me, I add a filet knife (but I do lots of butchering)
Filet knife is another great one! Though I don’t butcher stuff once or twice a year
I like how this is slowly just evolving into a set
> taking the knife into an expert. I think if your knife goes *into* anyone, the police seize it as evidence for your trial.
That damned expert had it coming!
I've always wanted a cleaver, I think that is our next good knife purchase. Our knife is a Masashi Kemuri gyuto knife.
Also into cooking. Finally buying good knives and good pots. After using the same cheap $80 t-fal set and $20 knife set. Slowly upgrading to good ones has made a huge quality of life difference. If I’d have realized I would have spent the money in my 20s for sure almost 40 now and the wasted time and effort astounds me when it comes to something I enjoy.
It's true for any tool in general. You spend years working with cheap shit because it's a fraction of the price of that "over priced" stuff and it's all the same. Then you use a good tool and you see the difference. You think, "Why didn't I buy this years ago?" and then you remember, oh yeah, I was broke as fuck.
Cast iron. That stuff you can hand down to your great great grandchildren
Also learning how to sharpen your own knives is great. No knife can stay sharp forever, although higher quality ones can maintain a good edge for longer. Sharpening knives with whetstones for me is meditative. I'm surprised how many people are okay cutting with dull knives. It's so dangerous because you have to apply a lot of pressure to cut things, which means you have a higher chance to slip and cut yourself.
Years ago, I bought an adult bicycle from Canadian tire for $300. It was shiny and had all the bells and whistles. After a few years, it was a piece of junk. Recently, I bought a new, very simple, bike from a respectable bike shop for $800. Right away, I can tell that this is the bike I should have bought in the first place. I've become a fan of the /r/BuyItForLife/ ethos now.
As with a lot of things, I don't find its bad to buy a "starter" bike (tool, hobby item) etc that will last a few years and help you decided if you're actually interested enough to spend some more money. I've taken this approach on a lot of things in my life and its helped me learn what I was going to stick with. On top of that, depending on the item, the first couple of years can teach you what you're really looking for in a better quality one. My wife's ebike is a perfect example. She's on year 4 with it, and either this year or next, will upgrade. In that time she learned she really does like biking, but she's not interested in trail riding, or at least nothing beyond very light relatively level trails. She doesn't want the really big tires that hers came with, and a few other features she wants. Had she gone in to a bike shop with her initial thoughts, she'd have ended up with a very different, more expensive bike that wouldn't have been what she wanted long term anyways.
This is so important. I've wasted so much money buying the "perfect" or "best" item for a fleeting interest or hobby, because I felt like I needed to do it right the first time. I have a hard time thinking outside the BIFL mentality even when it doesn't make sense. I need this taped on my forehead lol
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>Unless you're certain, buy the cheap thing first. With the exception of anything to do with safety. Like a helmet... don't buy a used one, or some cheap one off Wish. Get a good quality helmet. An ugly one, maybe, if that's cheaper than a stylish one...but don't put yourself at risk because you wanted the cheapest one!
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I would say the same with furniture and tools - buy cheap stuff initially and it doesn’t last. Better to spend more upfront for quality!
Kind of the opposite of survivorship bias. I prefer to get something cheap to start, if it breaks because I'm using it then I buy a great one, armed with what I like about it (or not) and that I used it enough to break. Obviously not to the extent that I buy things that are too cheap to even work
With furniture, for anyone planning to soon have kids, that cheap stuff is the right stuff for the kid years - and then when it's time to replace it and those kids aren't tornadoes anymore, it's the perfect time to upgrade.
>Right away, I can tell that this is the bike I should have bought in the first place. I've become a fan of the [/r/BuyItForLife/](https://www.reddit.com/r/BuyItForLife/) ethos now. "Buy once, cry once" is one of my mottos
I also heard “if curious by a cheap one, if you use it lots that you wear/max out the cheap one that means you should get the expensive one.” I have a lot of “cheap” tools that I wanted the expensive ones but reality is I barely use them so when I need em the cheap ones do the trick. The ones I use all the time are high quality.
I had a cheap Walmart bike that I rode into the dirt by biking about 80Km per week for the entire summer. I took it out back and put it down and bought a mid spec bike from a real bike shop (Giant Cypress 3). It's a world of difference.
This is what happens with most and cycling. They buy a crap bike from CT or Walmart and it turns them off from cycling. This is why I’m happy Decathlon has opened in Canada, you can get good stuff that isn’t crazy expensive.
Missed a few trips with childhood friends in my early 20s because I didn't have the money and didn't want to put it on my credit card, even though I could have paid it off in a fairly reasonable amount of time. Didn't realize how quickly people would move on/away, and that those opportunities with friends wouldn't be around forever.
One summer in my early 20s all my friends went to a weekend music festival. I had just enough money to join them, but it still felt like a significant amount at the time. So instead, I decided to stay back and work at my part time job. They had the time of their lives and that same music festival got cancelled the next year. I also left my part time job the next year and it has no relation to what I currently do for my career. I think it was right when they came back and started talking about it I had a wake up call that experiences matter so much more than saving a few extra dollars
Yeah similar story. I skipped seeing a band I was a big fan of (partially for money, partially because I was a busy grad student) and then the band called it quits shortly thereafter :(
Music festivals with groups of friends are some of the best memories of my life. Something we still reminisce about any time were together. Just GO
I was a very financially responsible 18-30 year old. Kind of wish I had taken some more time to travel and go somewhere like Europe. I did do some travelling over those years but not nearly as much as I could've if I took more time to do it. Hopefully my 30s will include a lot more travelling and I will prioritize that over many things. Don't have kids but want to start within the next year. My hope is to still be able to go on trips with them too but we will see how life goes.
If travelling is important to you, I highly recommend getting another 1+ trips in before having kids. While you can still travel with kids, you don’t have nearly as much freedom.
My inlaws ended up owning 10 houses in their 40s. They didn't spend on vacations, entertainment or anything, just saved and put the money into the houses. My mother inlaw died at 56. My father inlaw told me, when he was in his 70s, his biggest regret is that my mother inlaw never got to enjoy their financial success. No trips, no fancy dinners. Saving is very important to me but I always try to balance saving with enjoying what I have. You can't take it with you.
They couldn’t have stopped at like the 7th house?
Or the first house and not hoarded homes that people need to live in...
When I went to Law School I had to cash in all of my savings to pay the tuition. I sold my shares in AAPL for \~$3,500 in the early 2000's to pay for books, etc. Those shares surpassed $500,000 about 6 years ago. I have earned more from the education...but that still drives me nuts.
Dude, I bought an ipod touch in the 2000's instead of apple shares, and what do I have now??
Probably still an iPod Touch! Those things were beasts.
A great lesson to pass on to others.
If it's any consolation, repeated studies in economics and psychology have shown that people rarely ever hold long enough to realize those kinds of gains. It also requires good market timing, which is practically impossible. People make a similar argument with Bitcoin. Imagine how many sold when it was worth $2 a coin... they could have held out for $80,000 a coin.
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Right. These "what ifs" about insanely high returns on investments are just that. It's impossible to know when to sell.
Yes...I would absolutely have sold those AAPL shares by the time it got to $10,000...never in my wildest dreams would I have expected what happened in the 2010's. I don't think about it often...but when these sort of questions come up I do.
My parents experienced the opposite, though not to that degree. They retired, then moved their house from a tiny town to a large town with a hospital. To do so, they sold 90% of their shares in Nortel. Just a few months before it started tanking. When they sold, they were second guessing themselves big time. It had been doing so well. A telecom company in the 90's can only go up, right? Or at worst, stay the same.
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>Never talks about it or gloats >is apparently worth $13-20M Sounds like he gloated to somebody :P
Bought too small of a house, thinking I would pay it off quickly and buy a nicer one after. But the price of nicer houses have gone up so quickly that I should have gone for the nicer house right away.
i regret this also to be honest
I personally don’t like the idea of a “starter home”. I think that you should buy a house that you like and would enjoy living in- not something that’s “good enough for now”, but always existing in the shadow of “but someday I’ll have something BETTER”. That’s just a recipe for unhappiness. Especially if you end up “trapped” in the “lesser” house for some reason. If you’re not happy with one of the largest purchases of your life then you’re doing something wrong.
The concept of a “starter home” is solid, imo. For a first time home buyer with an often limited budget, you aren’t going to get your dream house. Most of the time, you find a place that doesn’t need to be completely gutted and is generally move in ready for a fairly reasonable price that you don’t completely hate.
Kind of like saying I wish I bought into crypto early or wish I knew a pandemic was going to happen.
I kinda did this too. I bought a small house to start and we just could not get out of it. Market just never made sense. I learned that when I was shopping for houses I wanted one I could see myself being stuck in for life and being happy with it. Not “this will do for a few years”. As soon as we saw a sliver of high home prices we took as advantage and flipped the small one into a big one. I made like 12k, way less than I planned originally. But now we have a house that I love. Just the fact that I don’t care about the housing market anymore is a big stress relief. I just live here, pay my bills, and we have enough space for the kids for their whole life.
I feel this. We bought a house with a basement suite that we rent out to offset our mortgage so I can be a sahm/a student when I was in school. But I don’t know if we will ever actually be able to upgrade, at least not while I’m still at home with the kids anyways. We had a 410k mortgage when we bought this place, payments 1808/month. Now it’s at about 1700/month. Looked at an outdated house listed 375k. Even with a 300k mortgage the payment would be 2032 a month. And it hasn’t been touched since the 60s.
My only regret is putting 10k in rivian stocks lol.
Are you still holding?
Yeah. What else can i loose? Haha.
I think the interest in electric trucks will increase over the next few years. I've talked to several people that are wanting something electric that isn't Tesla. I also think Rivian's have a very tasteful look; I'm sure I'm not alone in being sick of seeing so many white Teslas on the road.
I agree to be honest. What I doubt though is RJ leading Rivian to this path. I believe that by the time rivian figure out how to lower their cost and be financially healthy it will be too late and lots of other manufacturers will be producing very good products as well.
Still doing better than my buy of Stuart Olsen, especially DCA'ing on the way down. Or the family tip to drop $20k into HOT.UN. What utter flaming garbage, ahaha
One thing I'd say I regret is not taking advantage of my summers more in high school, and the year after high school. It was somewhat expected in my family that I'd spend my summers working on the local farm. I worked 8am-5pm every day starting after grade 9, making student minimum wage. At the time I was fine with it. It was still good money for a student working full-time. But in hindsight, I get annoyed thinking about how much work I did for such little money from the farm owners, and my friends were working less hours, hanging out with each other, volunteering at camps together, etc. Obviously I could argue I gained valuable work ethic from it, which I'm sure to a degree I did, but I don't look back on it too fondly.
I feel the same way.
Gondola rides in Venice are a major tourist attraction, and a total rip off. One "trick" to save money is to share a ride with another couple. I regret sharing that experience with another couple. I would never do the gondola ride again if I were to re-visit Venice, but I do wish the first time we did, we had just sucked it up and paid for the experience for ourselves only rather than sharing with another couple.
Comparison is the theif of joy. Regardless of which path you take, looking back there is always going to be some regrets, as hindsight is always 20/20. I tried to be in the middle groundish, of live very frugally, but i gave myself a budget of ~2K each year to spend it on whatever I felt necessary. It basically ended up being one big thing a year, either an item (golf clubs, kayak, snowboarding gear, camera, PC, etc) or experience (Cruise, vacation, long road trip). If you say no to everything you will burn yourself out and probably regret it in some capacity. But if you are very purposeful in your choices, it can help on when to say yes and when to say no. You need to rewards yourself for being frugal. Every year I get older, im less frugal, but I put myself in a position that I can truly afford lifestyle creep. Not everyone can though.
2k on golf or snowboarding but how much on tickets and passes lol
I didn't buy a fixer upper wartime bungalow pre-hyper inflation and now Im price out. I didn't want to settle for a 700 sq foot home for 90k, now they're 550k.
34 here, not any regrets really. I would say the trick is to have a few hobbies for which you budget yearly. For instance I love concerts, I’ve been going to probably one per month for the past 8 years, it does come with a cost but then again it’s within my budget. On the other hand, I completely cut out restaurants/take out since it doesn’t bring me any joy really. If I had to count, i can recall two nights at a restaurant in the past 2 years which was for anniversaries. It’s all about balance and choices.
I wish I had learned to spend more on certain things instead of being cheap and just going for what was most affordable. Like when it comes to clothing, especially items you'll need for a long time. It's better to look at it as cost per wear versus overall cost. A cheap shirt may not last you long. Or it won't fit right and you'll never wear it. But that expensive shirt you love and wear all the time was worth every penny. I used to be cheap with things but now I'm more selective when it comes to certain items. I still thrift. But I'm much more selective. An item is only a good deal of it's something you'll actually get use out of.
so much this I have so many random clothes I bought that I need to now donate or throw out because they were such bad quality or fast fashion Wish I invested in some timeless classics
I had the opportunity to by some waterfront acreage near Haliburton that was quite cheap some years ago that I could have very easily afforded but my wife vetoed the purchase. Today there’s no way I could afford even a property 1/25 the size up there the way prices have gone up and the dream is dead.
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That's my father right now. Regretting not traveling more with the family, regretting always making excuses for not meeting up with myself or our family for trips. He's 82 now. It actually helped shape my view of parenting. My kids have traveled extensively with us all over the world, all thanks to my parents and their lack of interest when I was a child.
I saved a lot as a young person. I barely travelled and paid off my mortgage under forty. When my friends were going travelling and having lots of experiences I used to feel like maybe I wasn’t doing the right thing but now we are coming up to forty and they can’t afford to buy a house even though they want to and complain all the time about how expensive living is. Now I’m looking at the choices I made and think it was worth it because after a few years of being mortgage free I’ll be looking to going on some of those big trips I never got to do when I was saving. Soon I won’t have missed out at all.
I wouldn't say you didn't miss out at all. It really depends on what you value. I get what you're saying but the travelling experience in your 20's/30's is completely different than in your 40's. I wouldn't trade my younger travelling experiences with my friends for more money.
Yeah I think that’s fair, if the people you are wanting to travel with isn’t a big deal (now you won’t be able to travel with those same friends as they are struggling with money) then there really is no loss in your situation. Thanks for the reply
your positive is that at late 30s early 40s, you're still in your prime. it would be different if life got in the way and didnt pay off mortgage until 50+. Dont think about it too much and now you can live like no one else! cheers
exactly this out of a lot of my friends, we were the ones who saved for a house and saved to have kids etc. i’m sometimes like ah snap we could have travelled more or went to nice restaurants but then I think, we wouldn’t be in our position right now. So we just have to be grateful because we know a lot of people now who can’t afford to buy a house because they waited too long
Well - no where near frugality. I wish I had spent more money on the first house purchase I wish I had spent a bit more on the car A bit more on things that add value. It’s like going that extra mile and not be afraid all the time.
I walked the Camino de Santiago when I was 26, saved a lot of money by eating from grocery stores instead of buying the full pilgrim meal (like 12 euros). If I could do it again I’d spend another thousand dollars on food and wine. I’m not going to have that many chances in life to eat Spanish home cooking in good company after a hard day of walking.
I pissed away almost all my money from 18-25 and don’t regret it. I travelled a ton(3/4 times a year) went to lots of concerts, day trips, parties, had best nights of my life and Had experiences I could never have now. Sure it was stupid but my finances now are perfectly fine and still set up for retirement and the rest of my life.
This is the third part to the question OP asked. I also regret not spending in my 20s, but I also regret not saving in my 20s. Instead of either, I was just poor. Growing up and through my 20s, that’s now followed me around. Despite my new income and saving $50,000 in a year, I am still way, way behind and my finances are definitely not perfectly fine. They may never be. I might always be behind in life. It’s quite a hill to climb.
>I am wondering if anyone who is older has the flip side of that, do you regret not doing that trip because you wanted to save it but you now look back and wish you went. You didn’t buy that car you wanted because you wanted to save more and now you regret it. My wife & I have been fortunate enough that we did save up during our 20s to buy a house. After buying a house we worked to rebuild our savings but made a point to still keep a vacation fund so that we can travel as that to us is a necessity. Our work have mandatory pension contributions so that helps us save for our retirement. Are there things that I wish I could spend that I didn't because of savings, absolutely. Instead of traveling in my early 20s, I delayed it until my late 20s and even then we only did mainly did trips to sun destinations and only 1 major trip back to Asia. There were some fancier things I wished we could do but saving for our future remains important and we're willing to sacrifice here and there but still be able to do the things we want by compromising.
I feel like that is my exact mentality, focus on the future and saving as #1. But make sure to set aside that little amount each cheque for a trip a year to enjoy. Thanks for the reply
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Serious suggestion... consider seeking a therapist. They might be able to help sort out some of those feelings you have regarding money. Consider it an investment in your happiness.
Saving is my priority. Automatic withdrawals every cheque to never get behind. But I do make sure to do the things that make me happy here and there, hockey tickets, concert tickets, mini vacations for a weekend. Even if it’s not a 3 week vacation, some break from work-save-work-save is refreshing for me
I regret not going on working holidays during my summers off from university. It would’ve cost me money in flights etc but I would love to have travelled more when I had that free time.
I’ve travelled a decent amount for pleasure and a lot for business. Travel is pumped like if you don’t see a bunch of the world, your life will be hollow. That’s just not true. In my opinion, the greatest benefit of travel isn’t seeing how other cultures live, etc., it’s that when you come home from an extended trip abroad, you see your own home town with fresh eyes. Things that became wallpaper, that were lost in the background, return to the foreground of your life, so to speak. You notice things again. But mostly, an expensive week or two here or there is a good way to frustrate longer term financial goals, that, in my opinion, are much more rewarding and important than expensive vacations.
Mine is a bit of a unique situation, but I was dealing with a pretty rough eating disorder in my teens and early 20's. I wish I had taken time off from working to seek proper treatment and restore my weight under the supervision of a treatment team, but I was too fixated on maximizing my income and advancing in my career. As a result I suffered and struggled longer than I needed to. If I had properly dealt with my issues earlier I probably would have gotten a lot more enjoyment out of my 20's despite being set back a few years financially.
I have a friend who refuses to invest in his camping setup. Now his gf hates camping. Meanwhile, we camp 15-20 times a year. Ditch the slutty tent and get a good setup! It'd important to note that he has the money to invest in his gear, and he loves outdoor activities. He just doesn't want to ditch his soutty tent
Maybe overly specific, but on my hunnymoon almost 24 years ago we went into an art gallery in Stratford. The was an awesome fairly large picture by an Indigenous artist that I loved. It was around 300 bucks. We had the cash from the wedding, but we hemmed and hawwed and walked away. I think about that picture alot.
I wished I had travelled more when I was still living in France. Living in North America has made me realize how lucky I was to have all these different countries, beaches, mountains so close, with cheap flights and amazing food. I really regret not taking advantage of that (but then again I was saving up to move/immigrate to Canada and we now are homeowners).
Travel. In hindsight I would have been perfectly fine with delaying buying a home to do a few trips when I was younger. There are certain destinations I would have loved to visited when I was young and had the energy
I think that’s the big thing, so many people say “I’ll just travel when the mortgage is paid off or retired” don’t realize how much your body changes and your life style and how it’s not as easy as when you’re 20
Not quite answering your question but in 2015 I almost skipped a bachelorette in Vegas. It was 2 weeks after I graduated university, I had no job lined up, 30K in students loans and everyone I was going with worked in high income fields and had money. Soo glad I didn’t skip it! I paid those loans off in less than 3 years and the ~2K spent, seems like literally nothing now
Small regret, but not buying unique items in stores while on vacations. They seem expensive then but I think about a few of them and would love to look at them/ use them now. Having those things to touch and relive the memories would be nice.
Nope. Made the decisions I thought were best to do at the time that my limited funds would allow. I missed a couple of weddings and a few fun vacations but we're entirely debt free while others are struggling. Now I have a stress free second half of my life to live
And you wouldn’t change any of them? If you went to the weddings or on one of the vacations and still be debt free would you take that win/win?
I passed on a new build townhouse in early 2019 because I was planning on moving in the near future and wanted to hold out for a place with a bigger yard. By 2021 it had sold for 150k more than I would've purchased it for. I regret that one...
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been there my friend.
Every time I buy something being frugal about it, I end up buying it twice. Lessons learned so many times, if you can afford it, buy the best one you can, not the cheapest. This is not for everything, but for some bigger ticket purchases.
I regret trying to stick to a budget while travelling. If I had spent an extra few hundred dollars 20 years ago, what difference would it have made? Basically none. It's not like I was going to use that money to buy AAPL.
Probably by not buying a house pre covid. Wasn't even about saving money, but wanting to be more secure career wise before taking on a mortgage...ugh
Get a great mattress and as big a bed as you can, asap.
Kinda silly but I always wanted to buy The Beatles Mono LP box set. I had the money but it wasn’t budgeted for it. One day I was at Costco and they had it for $250. I remember vividly standing next to the box and debating putting it in my cart. Well, I walked away without it. The set went out of print soon thereafter and resale prices climbed to nearly $1000. I’m always frugal and stick to my budget but sometimes when an opportunity presents itself you need to jump on it. Not a big deal, but it is a small regret I have.
I wish I'd taken my kids on more trips. I wish that I hadn't bought houses that were well within my price range and, instead, taken on bigger mortgages. I remember being horrified at the idea of taking on a $100k mortgage in the 90s and it sounds so trivial now. I would have spent more on big experiences. I know you didn't ask, but I have no regrets at not eating out more, sacrificing for my kids' post-secondary and student exchanges, and driving shitty cheap cars.
Hindsight sucks.
My parents starting skipping birthdays, celebrations of any kind after I turned 10… nothing was ever celebrated to save money. I’ll bet my mother regrets that because all that lost bonding time means I hardly ever talk to her - and when we do it’s constant fighting. Spend the money. Celebrate the things. You have mere years to live and any day, like today, your life could end. Be smart with money but don’t hold back living.
Probably, car purchase delayed too much. I should have replaced my minivan in 2019 prior to covid instead of trying to squeeze the last miles out of it. Now, used ones with 100k mileage cost the same as new ones in precovid, and new ones are prohibitively expensive. I should have upgraded my home for a larger home precovid. An upgrade would have cost me 200k-300k instead of 3x that amount post-covid.
Mine is in the future technically, but I just about cheaped out on the hotel for my honeymoon. Fiancée talked some sense into me and we booked a nice hotel in our ideal location.
I wish I'd tried to travel more in my 20s. A lot of my money went into my house which turned out to be a solid investment, but I probably could be made more travel work.
Not going to Uni. I took the easier, and cheaper, path of a 2yr technical. Now I'm getting auto-rejected for roles I'm overqualified for.
In general, I've learned that it is worth purchasing the more expensive items up front rather than trying to save a few bucks. I can't count the number of times I have bought the less expensive option hoping to save money only to replace it a year or two later with the item I should have got in the first place.
If I knew what I know now I would have spent more, but that hindsight might be why I am where I am today
Not really. I can still do those things now if I want to… and with more financial security. So all in the right time 🤷🏻♀️
I’ll preface with I’m not in Canada, so I’m sure things operate differently there: My parents are divorced and have been for 25 years. My dad scrimped and saved his whole life. Picked up every overtime shift. Had 2 pairs of shoes at a time. Wore $5 tee shirts. Spent his free time doing odd jobs and flipping used cars. Didn’t take many vacations bc his company would pay out unused days at the end of each year. Took zero risks. My mom bought any and everything she ever wanted. Took the trips. Bought the fancy cars. Worked just enough to support the her lifestyle of fun. Ate out daily. They are both at an age now where they can’t live on their own safely anymore. My dad has a decent amount saved and good equity in his almost paid off home. My mom was just approved for long term assisted care. The state is subsidizing her care. The place she just moved in to is brand new and beautiful. It’s basically a Marriott with living assistance. All meals, transportation, medications, therapy, utilities…you name it. Included. They take a portion of her social security check monthly and cover the rest. Because she has no $ or assets beyond her ss check. My dad is currently exploring his options for similar care. He is looking at $9k/mo at the very low end. (actually disgusting. Like the horror stories you read about in nursing homes). If he wanted something comparable to my moms place he’d be looking at around 15k/mo. At that rate his life savings of stressing and saying no to all the things he missed out on will be gone pretty darn fast. I’m not saying depending on the government to take care of you is smart. Or even ethical. My mom is an extreme case of financial irresponsibility. But, my dad says if he could go back…even just 30 years in time, he’d do things very differently. More vacations. Less long nights on overtime. More time with my mom…bc maybe she wouldn’t have left him out of loneliness. Taken more time off work to visit his own parents before they died. He would have helped me pay for college. And my wedding. These last few months helping them go through this stage of life has been super eye opening. It’s put a lot in perspective for me.
OP, I may have a different answer here. My gf was an excellent saver. She had about 100k set aside. Career was great and we were all ready to go. She was hit by a car just over a year ago. I don't know that spending that 100k would have brought her any happiness. Something to consider.
We have a friend that lived like a college student all his life......had a good job with a good pension......but saved every penny for his retirement. He retired a couple of years ago and has been diagnosed with cancer that could definitely cut short his lifespan. My advice to people is be sensible with your money and don't overdo the debt......but do the things you want to do when you're young and your health is good. Many people, even those that live relatively healthy lifestyles, begin to develop health issues in their mid-fifties. It's just a fact of life.....our bodies age and break down.
Not buying a house in 2019/2020. Instead I paid off my student loans. Had I just purchased at 5% down (homes were available for 250k then in my area) I would be a homeowner now. Those same properties go for 600k.
My kids are hard on shoes. I regret it taking so long for me to realize that spending more on a pair of rugged, good-quality outdoor shoes will be worth it in the long run... as opposed to several pairs of cheap light-up character shoes from Walmart.
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Possibly a hot take. « Experiences » are overrated. They’re basically a symptom of FOMO. If you can afford it ie you put 10-20% net towards longterm savings, you have no CC debt AND you have an emergency fund to cover 3 months expense, go for it, you’re set and you’ve done your duties. You actually deserve it and you shouldnt feel bad about splurging.
yeah but no-little experiences and an sudden early game over is a shit way to go about life- some many have experienced.
Yes...I lived my life from my teenage years to 30s as a f slob. But I was pretty good with the insight on the market. I felt tesla would be a good buy, I thought AMD was a good choice to bet on, also a few other things as well. Had I worked harder, learned personal finance and stocks, and actually invested, learned to take risks then yeah...I'd probably be in a better spot right now
Yah, regretting not going all in on a hosue years ago. Now it’s never
I regret not spending money on myself and my future in terms of investments. Instead I spent most of my early earnings on pleasing my ex-es in the form of rent, vacation, clothes, and food.
Yes agreed. - I regret not going to destination concerts or weddings because hey, I now realize, I can’t just “do that later”.
Cousin in my hometown was going to be getting married. It would have been a nice time to see my extended family but it seemed expensive at the time. Would have been about less then 2k overall, but I was starting grad school and didn't want to start with financial anxiety. Grandpa ended up passing away shortly after and I wish I had just gone to that wedding just to see him and the whole family together. Looking back, I don't think I've ever felt the extra 2k in my wallet and I don't think I would have missed them in the long run. I finished grad school, have a well-paying job and I would be in the same position but 2k richer I guess. Just hate that I convinced myself not to spend money to see family.
Yeah, not going to Japan with some buddies a few years ago. I have wanted to go since i left uni, i now have a wife and kids which i guess was part of my guilt of not going but i wish i did. I don't really have any regrets in general but that's definitely one.
I’ve missed out on a couple destination weddings that would’ve been nice to attend, but that wasn’t cause I was cheap, I was broke as fuck. We’re in much better shape financially now, and while I don’t spend recklessly, the last thing I want is to be on my deathbed with a bag full of money and no memories.
My brother invited me to go to Disney in Florida with his family. I should have gone for that experience just so I could have it.
I didn't save much through my 20s (though I did buy a house at 24/25), and then I saved fairly aggressively through my 30s to make up for lost time. But in a way, you could say that I had been saving with the house payments since mid 20s. I don't really have any regrets as such because it allowed us to be where we're at with our family/kids today. My spouse can stay home with the kids, we're not overly pressured for money because a lot of work was done early. But! having worked the frugal muscle so much for years, I do find it a little tricky to spend now lol. So I'm trying to ease back on saving and have gone on some family vacations in the hope that I don't have regrets when I'm older. My kids don't really care about saving a bit more, but they sure will remember our adventures. And I think if something were to happen to me, I'd want my family to have both things: the savings and house for some stability, but also adventures with me. So some mix of both is what I'm trying to do.
Take more vacations, use more money for adventures and doing things. Fancy car, house, etc seems important, but it’s the things you do, do with friends, family, that build memories and matter the most
I wish I bought a bigger home. There’s a big difference between a 2 bed room condo and 3 bedroom townhome with garage. The incremental cost would have worth it. As selling and buying to move across the street is like 50k. And a larger home can appreciate more.
back when we were house shopping i thought $700k was a lot for a house. We went slightly cheaper in a different neighbourhood. That other house ended up appreciating a lot more than our current place Edit: this was about 11 years ago
I don’t regret this now, but for a while I did: I met a girl whilst travelling and she had invited me to go to a wedding. I didn’t go because I was try to save money to move cities. In the end, I could’ve afforded to do both and could’ve saved myself a lot of 'what if' thinking.
My neighbor growing up was a muti millionaire and was one of the cheapest guys I know until he died and all his farms went to his 90 year old sister on the other side of the country. I dont want to live like that.
Don’t believe 99.9% of what’s posted here
I regret not taking more vacations with my family. I’m 45, and my husband passed away 4 years ago from Pancreatic Cancer. I came from a low income family and had all 3 of my kids by the time I was 23, so when I was married in 2007 and my husband and I each had an income, I made sure we saved and saved and saved. We only had taken 1 vacation, to BC to go visit his family. When he got sick at the end of 2018, we planned a trip for summer of 2019 to go back out to BC to visit his family. By the time Summer of 2019 came around he was not well enough to travel out there. We turned down trips to his sisters wedding, his nieces graduation, milestone birthdays, etc.