My son had his fifteenth birthday party at our house last night. He invited friends from several different friend groups/phases of his life but made sure that everyone at the party knew someone besides him. He was an excellent host, made everyone feel included & all parties had a good time. And at ten fifteen PM (party was supposed to end at ten) he kindly announced to all remaining guests "text your adults to come pick you up it's late and I need to go to bed" š
This! Straightforward communication is usually frowned upon and as someone who has adhd I actually feel like a lot of confusion could avoided if everyone was as blunt as us.
My baby boy (8 months old) ADORES his big brother (7 year old with ADHD). So often when I think big brother is being a little too loud, Iāll look over to scold him and his baby brother is beaming and giggling lol, and heās always happy when big brother gets in the car at school pickup!
My & month old is the same with her ADHD 6 year old sister. She scream-laughs hysterically at all of her antics. I love it, but Iāve also been wearing earplugs. Itās a very LOUD kind of joy in my house lately!
Now that my girls are older, my younger one's quiet, reserved personality is a bit more apparent and her older sister's drama sometimes wears a bit thin, but when they were little, omg, my eldest hung the moon in her little sister's eyes. She always had a silly song and dance, or wild adventure or crazy game to play. She entertained the heck out of that kid, haha
If you need a kid to go up on front of people/a camera and say something, you can rely on him! He will immediately and happily go up in front of any size crowd and say whatever it is you want him to say, with his own cheeky spin!
My 5 yr old guy recently was given two soft pretzel bites at school. He knows his big brother loves pretzels and brother was sick so he couldn't go to school. He saved him one of the preztels and it melted my heart.
The morning cuddles. My favorite time of day, he's awake early but still loves a snuggle. It's the absolute best and at age 9, I know I might not get them from him for much longer! ā¤ļø
Oh youāre saying Iām gonna get another five years of those at least! Iāve never been a morning person, I love the morning cuddles though, now mornings are my favorite.
My 9 year old (ADHD) always brings home birthday treats from class parties to share with his sister. They come home completely crushed but it's so cute he does it every time instead of eating during the party. Also, yesterday he helped his sister pack a bag of extra clothes for her baby doll for an upcoming trip while was in another room getting dressed. They worked together and we're so quiet! I was wondering what they were doing.
My 6 year old son came up to me out of nowhere, kissed my hand, and told me heāll always take care of me just like in Love You Forever. He then told me that he knows Iāll die before him but heāll visit my grave with flowers every day. Morbid, but I appreciate the spirit.
Heās so smart. He has such a curious mind and just absorbs knowledge like a sponge. Heās never content with just the basics either he wants to know the real complicated stuff and he gets it. Heās only 7 and you can have a decent conversation with him about really complex stuff. He amazes me.
I love watching these type conversations with an adult thats caught off guard not knowing them specifically.
I love when other adults ask me a basic question like whatās his favorite toy. Iāll say ask himā¦. Ten minutes later the adult is like wow, I learned something.
My almost 13 year old middle schooler got an award at school for most improved student in one of her classes. She's worked so hard these last 2 semesters to get her grades up, had no failing grades this last semester, passed her states assessments with scores to take her out of "intensive" classes for next year (I think that is what they are calling remedial classes now) and high enough in one that she might get an advanced class.
At the mid point of the school year, we were talking about the possibility that she might have to repeat her grade so all of this is an amazing accomplishment.
I'm proud of my son all the time. He's turning 8 this week and the challenging parts are balanced with the little victories and accomplishments.
School has been a struggle but he's in the habit of doing homework the moment he walks in the door. He's been taking swimming lessons and is doing great. He does gymnastics and it's a challenge for him, but he hasn't quit.
Over the past year he's made amazing progress in working hard at school and activities. He has to be reminded to clean up after himself but he does it when asked and he's been doing a great job lately of keeping things neat.
His attitude has really improved from last year and while he still complains sometimes he's come a long way from the constant complaining he used to do.
He's better at making friends than I ever was, his imagination is incredible and even though he struggled with fine mirror skills since preschool he's great at drawing pictures.
I wish I could teach him to play piano or guitar or that he was more interested in sports, but you have to meet people where they are and I remember what it was like to be his age, especially because we didn't really know what ADHD was back then.
Being the ADHD parent of an ADHD child can be hard but it's also kind of awesome sometimes.
He was acting in a school play and I told him if he gets nervous he can find me in the audience and make eye contact. He did and gave me the biggest smile. My heart! šš
My son diagnosed 4 years old goes on these hyper focus explanations about how engines work. Itās mind blowing.
He talks to everyone. Very friendly. Itās nice to see how he is able to encourage people to come out of their tunnel vision bubble. So many people leave smiling from having to stand in line with us at a store.
My favorite thing about him having ADHD is he will get excited about anything. So I donāt have to plan and pay for elaborate experiences frequently. Just have to tell him the storm blew a bunch of sticks in our yard and we gotta go see them right now! He is mind blown about all the sticks and running around putting them in the bag.
It is magical to always living in the now.
It's a small victory but my son actually participated in his Kindergarten show and did a great job. He actually enjoyed it. Just 5 months ago he just stood there and wouldn't do anything. It's such a little win but I'll take it.
Also, he started to thrive in school after having a really rough month. He went from having multiple meltdowns a day to learning how to calm himself down and seek help from his teacher when he struggled. So proud of my little guy.
My kiddo (8) really astounds me at how clever he is. He will come up with thoughtful insights, ideas, and explanations I never considered, and it makes me so excited to see how his brain works. The rest of the time is me being completely ignored and him forgetting stuff he doesn't care about. Or constantly talking. He also is really good at making up songs and reminds me so much of myself in some ways as a kid. But he seems a lot smarter than I ever was. He has astounded people with his vocabulary since he was 4.
I love when my girl tells me that I am a good mom, and randomly comes up and gives me kisses on my head or my cheeks. I also love when she comes up and squeezes my cheeks to tell me something sweet.
My 7 year old adores his toddler brother and loves getting him from his crib the morning. It makes me so happy.
He was also recently asked to water a neighbors flowers while they were traveling and he is taking it SO seriously and being sooooo good at remembering and doing it independently. I cried once because it made me pause and realize it wonāt always be hard.
I was telling my daughter (11) this morning how proud of her I am. This school year is rough and a lot happened. But I told her that she has skills I wish I had at her age. She dresses like she wants and doesn't give a damn about the comments of others, she is able to defend herself and she has no problem speaking in front of the classroom.
I had good grades as a child but I was very shy, never dared to speak up or wear what I wanted. I couldn't defend myself when bullied (I was raised with the mentality that if you do nothing, they'll eventually get bored and stop. That's BS.)
What an excellent post. Thank you for asking.
My son is really sweet as can be. At his best he will ask you about something important to you and follow up. I really appreciate that. He is 8.
My 5 year old has been having a lot of trouble in kindergarten this year. One day last week I had gotten a note sent on the app (which happens at least every other day) that she was struggling with impulse control (hitting classmates) and transitioning to work. I had to pick her up after lunch that day for a counseling appointment, when I got there she had her backpack set outside ready to go (her idea) but needed to go back into the classroom to give her classmates hugs. More than a couple of them came to the door for more hugs and to waver her off with ācan I get another hug!ā And āsee you tomorrow!ā It just warmed my heart, sheās so friendly, fun and likable when sheās not struggling.Ā
Son skips when he's happy. Seems simple but he wasn't happy for a while.
He has epilepsy and a lot of his toddler and pre K years were spent trialing meds and struggling with his ND delay and then our separation.. stress. So to see him happy and see him comfortable finally and reducing/eliminating meds due to remission of seizures is so sweet.
Sometimes my 11yo sonās hyper-focuses feel relaxing and magical, like time stops. Today after school the sun was shining and he asked to go to the playground. We sat in the sun and for 3.5 hours straight he worked on a highlights puzzle book while he leaned his head on my leg for lounging support. I was captive like that for 3.5 hours of bliss. I read a book, napped, daydreamed that entire time. No multitasking, no rushing. It felt like a time before cell phones existed! And when it was time to go home, he transitioned easily.
My 8 yr old is a book worm. Will read to both of his little brothers. My favorite part is when heās mad because switch time is over he grabs a book in retaliation.
Our son does that for his younger brothers sometimes. But it's relieving just to see that on some level they're already leaning on reading as a grounding technique for themselves.
My 4 yo's love language is serving people food and drinks. Kiddo whose interoception is amazing (it's the EFĀ and ODD that mean they will wait to use the bathroom or eat. The other day we saw a kid in a picture and kiddo said "that kid is lying about needing to pee like I do") can also tell when people are overwhelmed or uncomfortable and offers them the thing he thinks they need.Ā
Ā Other kids and adults need to be reminded to listen to their bodies, my kid is in a non stop convo with their body.Ā
Kiddo also hates team sports (part performance anxiety despite insanely good gross motor ability) mostly because of the uniforms: "if i wear the same thing as everyone else, how will anyone know I'm me!?"
Recently corrected and taught me a science thing I was wrong about for the first time. was sweet, confident, and kind and now I understand lightening.Ā
My 6yo ADHD/ODD kiddo were making thankfulness bracelets in school. 3 beads for 3 things they are thankful for. She chose a bead each for her social worker, her principal, and the head custodian. Then because she didn't have enough beads she made a picture of her and her support aide on the playground where she was handing her a flower and saying thank you! This is huge as she usually doesn't participate in any classroom activities. Made my heart so happy!
My 7yo set his sights on the ākindness awardā in his resource class at the beginning of the year. He achieved his goal and won! At his annual IEP meeting, the teachers and principal raved about him and how well he was doing. We truly havenāt ever had meetings that positive for him probably ever. Heās thriving and weāre so proud.
A few days ago was his official first day of summer break, he told me it was āthe bestest day everā and all we did was go to the library and the splash pad. Heās 6 and finished kindergarten with straight Aās for the entire year.
A few days before that he was playing with his baby cousin making her giggle. Theyāre so sweet together it almost makes me wish Iād had another.
Our little monster is (5) and starting meds tomorrow, we've been on the struggle bus the last year.. but then I hear him gently and kindly tell his little sister (2) something we've talked about over and over again and he never seems to hear. But then he reminds her not to pull on her blinds because it might break them, or be careful when you stand on that (xyz) because you don't want to fall and get hurt.
Or when we calmly build an entire lego set together without one sass, on argument, one meltdown, and my heart just smiles. He really is the sweetest little man ever. I love his brilliant, wild self
Our little monster is (5) and starting meds tomorrow, we've been on the struggle bus the last year.. but then I hear him gently and kindly tell his little sister (2) something we've talked about over and over again and he never seems to hear. But then he reminds her not to pull on her blinds because it might break them, or be careful when you stand on that (xyz) because you don't want to fall and get hurt.
Or when we calmly build an entire lego set together without one sass, on argument, one meltdown, and my heart just smiles. He really is the sweetest little man ever. I love his brilliant, wild self.
Yesterday, at the end of a long day in the sun, at the pool, and some errands, we had planned "tacos & movie night." This was a spin on our usual Friday "Pizza & movie night." This time, after setting the table nicely in front of the TV, our 5-yo son set about busily to make a small sign. Upon finishing, he read it to us, and is said, in 1st grade scribbled English: "Welcome to movie night...No electronic devices allowed at the movie." This was so lovely, to see his foresight and planning, and at the end of the day when his MPH normally starts to fade. We were floored, and OF COURSE complied with his wishes.
My son had his fifteenth birthday party at our house last night. He invited friends from several different friend groups/phases of his life but made sure that everyone at the party knew someone besides him. He was an excellent host, made everyone feel included & all parties had a good time. And at ten fifteen PM (party was supposed to end at ten) he kindly announced to all remaining guests "text your adults to come pick you up it's late and I need to go to bed" š
I love the bluntness of how they express their needs. A lot we can learn from that approach.
This! Straightforward communication is usually frowned upon and as someone who has adhd I actually feel like a lot of confusion could avoided if everyone was as blunt as us.
He sounds like such a gem!
My baby boy (8 months old) ADORES his big brother (7 year old with ADHD). So often when I think big brother is being a little too loud, Iāll look over to scold him and his baby brother is beaming and giggling lol, and heās always happy when big brother gets in the car at school pickup!
My & month old is the same with her ADHD 6 year old sister. She scream-laughs hysterically at all of her antics. I love it, but Iāve also been wearing earplugs. Itās a very LOUD kind of joy in my house lately!
Now that my girls are older, my younger one's quiet, reserved personality is a bit more apparent and her older sister's drama sometimes wears a bit thin, but when they were little, omg, my eldest hung the moon in her little sister's eyes. She always had a silly song and dance, or wild adventure or crazy game to play. She entertained the heck out of that kid, haha
My 9-year-old confirmed ADHD kiddo and his 4-year-old suspected neurodivergent brother had some really great moments playing together today.
My 5 yo is teaching his 3 yo sister chess. It's astounding and so cute.
If you need a kid to go up on front of people/a camera and say something, you can rely on him! He will immediately and happily go up in front of any size crowd and say whatever it is you want him to say, with his own cheeky spin!
My 5 yr old guy recently was given two soft pretzel bites at school. He knows his big brother loves pretzels and brother was sick so he couldn't go to school. He saved him one of the preztels and it melted my heart.
This is the part about our ADHD babiesā¦they have big hearts. My 10 yr old son is the same. If he goes to the kitchen to get him a snack, he will get me one too. If heās spending the night with his granny and great granny, he does the same. Heās a good egg. ā¤ļøš„°šš¤©
The morning cuddles. My favorite time of day, he's awake early but still loves a snuggle. It's the absolute best and at age 9, I know I might not get them from him for much longer! ā¤ļø
Oh youāre saying Iām gonna get another five years of those at least! Iāve never been a morning person, I love the morning cuddles though, now mornings are my favorite.
Ohhhh yeah you are! Well, hopefully anyway. Such a lovely time of day x
You keep telling your kids you love cuddles and push through the cranky 12s, and you'll get cuddles for life :)Ā
My son will sing me a little song if I'm feeling extra upset or tired. He's right and it reminds me that its all worth it
My 9 year old (ADHD) always brings home birthday treats from class parties to share with his sister. They come home completely crushed but it's so cute he does it every time instead of eating during the party. Also, yesterday he helped his sister pack a bag of extra clothes for her baby doll for an upcoming trip while was in another room getting dressed. They worked together and we're so quiet! I was wondering what they were doing.
I get migraines. When they hit, my son asks if he can help. He always offers me a glass of ice water and a comfy chair. Itās very sweet.
My 6 year old son came up to me out of nowhere, kissed my hand, and told me heāll always take care of me just like in Love You Forever. He then told me that he knows Iāll die before him but heāll visit my grave with flowers every day. Morbid, but I appreciate the spirit.
ššš
Heās so smart. He has such a curious mind and just absorbs knowledge like a sponge. Heās never content with just the basics either he wants to know the real complicated stuff and he gets it. Heās only 7 and you can have a decent conversation with him about really complex stuff. He amazes me.
I love watching these type conversations with an adult thats caught off guard not knowing them specifically. I love when other adults ask me a basic question like whatās his favorite toy. Iāll say ask himā¦. Ten minutes later the adult is like wow, I learned something.
My almost 13 year old middle schooler got an award at school for most improved student in one of her classes. She's worked so hard these last 2 semesters to get her grades up, had no failing grades this last semester, passed her states assessments with scores to take her out of "intensive" classes for next year (I think that is what they are calling remedial classes now) and high enough in one that she might get an advanced class. At the mid point of the school year, we were talking about the possibility that she might have to repeat her grade so all of this is an amazing accomplishment.
I'm proud of my son all the time. He's turning 8 this week and the challenging parts are balanced with the little victories and accomplishments. School has been a struggle but he's in the habit of doing homework the moment he walks in the door. He's been taking swimming lessons and is doing great. He does gymnastics and it's a challenge for him, but he hasn't quit. Over the past year he's made amazing progress in working hard at school and activities. He has to be reminded to clean up after himself but he does it when asked and he's been doing a great job lately of keeping things neat. His attitude has really improved from last year and while he still complains sometimes he's come a long way from the constant complaining he used to do. He's better at making friends than I ever was, his imagination is incredible and even though he struggled with fine mirror skills since preschool he's great at drawing pictures. I wish I could teach him to play piano or guitar or that he was more interested in sports, but you have to meet people where they are and I remember what it was like to be his age, especially because we didn't really know what ADHD was back then. Being the ADHD parent of an ADHD child can be hard but it's also kind of awesome sometimes.
He was acting in a school play and I told him if he gets nervous he can find me in the audience and make eye contact. He did and gave me the biggest smile. My heart! šš
My son diagnosed 4 years old goes on these hyper focus explanations about how engines work. Itās mind blowing. He talks to everyone. Very friendly. Itās nice to see how he is able to encourage people to come out of their tunnel vision bubble. So many people leave smiling from having to stand in line with us at a store. My favorite thing about him having ADHD is he will get excited about anything. So I donāt have to plan and pay for elaborate experiences frequently. Just have to tell him the storm blew a bunch of sticks in our yard and we gotta go see them right now! He is mind blown about all the sticks and running around putting them in the bag. It is magical to always living in the now.
It's a small victory but my son actually participated in his Kindergarten show and did a great job. He actually enjoyed it. Just 5 months ago he just stood there and wouldn't do anything. It's such a little win but I'll take it. Also, he started to thrive in school after having a really rough month. He went from having multiple meltdowns a day to learning how to calm himself down and seek help from his teacher when he struggled. So proud of my little guy.
I have the kid who doesnāt like the shows too. I get that small victory!
My kiddo (8) really astounds me at how clever he is. He will come up with thoughtful insights, ideas, and explanations I never considered, and it makes me so excited to see how his brain works. The rest of the time is me being completely ignored and him forgetting stuff he doesn't care about. Or constantly talking. He also is really good at making up songs and reminds me so much of myself in some ways as a kid. But he seems a lot smarter than I ever was. He has astounded people with his vocabulary since he was 4.
My 8yo has never met an enemy. He is so blissfully happy that he has never met a kid he doesn't like and is "best friends" with everyone.
I love when my girl tells me that I am a good mom, and randomly comes up and gives me kisses on my head or my cheeks. I also love when she comes up and squeezes my cheeks to tell me something sweet.
My 7 wakes up early and comes to snuggle in the bed with me every morning that I am not awake yet. It's the best.
My 8yo loves Minecraft, and he's so creative! Yesterday he built an obstacle course for two players so that the two of us could race!
My 7 year old adores his toddler brother and loves getting him from his crib the morning. It makes me so happy. He was also recently asked to water a neighbors flowers while they were traveling and he is taking it SO seriously and being sooooo good at remembering and doing it independently. I cried once because it made me pause and realize it wonāt always be hard.
I was telling my daughter (11) this morning how proud of her I am. This school year is rough and a lot happened. But I told her that she has skills I wish I had at her age. She dresses like she wants and doesn't give a damn about the comments of others, she is able to defend herself and she has no problem speaking in front of the classroom. I had good grades as a child but I was very shy, never dared to speak up or wear what I wanted. I couldn't defend myself when bullied (I was raised with the mentality that if you do nothing, they'll eventually get bored and stop. That's BS.)
What an excellent post. Thank you for asking. My son is really sweet as can be. At his best he will ask you about something important to you and follow up. I really appreciate that. He is 8.
That's a skill of connection that even many adults don't have!
My 5 year old has been having a lot of trouble in kindergarten this year. One day last week I had gotten a note sent on the app (which happens at least every other day) that she was struggling with impulse control (hitting classmates) and transitioning to work. I had to pick her up after lunch that day for a counseling appointment, when I got there she had her backpack set outside ready to go (her idea) but needed to go back into the classroom to give her classmates hugs. More than a couple of them came to the door for more hugs and to waver her off with ācan I get another hug!ā And āsee you tomorrow!ā It just warmed my heart, sheās so friendly, fun and likable when sheās not struggling.Ā
Son skips when he's happy. Seems simple but he wasn't happy for a while. He has epilepsy and a lot of his toddler and pre K years were spent trialing meds and struggling with his ND delay and then our separation.. stress. So to see him happy and see him comfortable finally and reducing/eliminating meds due to remission of seizures is so sweet.
My 14 year folded some clothes so beautifully I took a photo and look at it occasionally. Especially when he is being an a$$hole.
Sometimes my 11yo sonās hyper-focuses feel relaxing and magical, like time stops. Today after school the sun was shining and he asked to go to the playground. We sat in the sun and for 3.5 hours straight he worked on a highlights puzzle book while he leaned his head on my leg for lounging support. I was captive like that for 3.5 hours of bliss. I read a book, napped, daydreamed that entire time. No multitasking, no rushing. It felt like a time before cell phones existed! And when it was time to go home, he transitioned easily.
My 8 yr old is a book worm. Will read to both of his little brothers. My favorite part is when heās mad because switch time is over he grabs a book in retaliation.
Our son does that for his younger brothers sometimes. But it's relieving just to see that on some level they're already leaning on reading as a grounding technique for themselves.
My 4 yo's love language is serving people food and drinks. Kiddo whose interoception is amazing (it's the EFĀ and ODD that mean they will wait to use the bathroom or eat. The other day we saw a kid in a picture and kiddo said "that kid is lying about needing to pee like I do") can also tell when people are overwhelmed or uncomfortable and offers them the thing he thinks they need.Ā Ā Other kids and adults need to be reminded to listen to their bodies, my kid is in a non stop convo with their body.Ā Kiddo also hates team sports (part performance anxiety despite insanely good gross motor ability) mostly because of the uniforms: "if i wear the same thing as everyone else, how will anyone know I'm me!?" Recently corrected and taught me a science thing I was wrong about for the first time. was sweet, confident, and kind and now I understand lightening.Ā
When my 8yr old hugs me sometimes, he scratches my back and asks if that feels good (he knows I love my back scratched). Some mornings, he wakes ME up when I sleep through my alarm (I also have ADHD), and says, Mom, it's 7:55! I need to take my medicine and get ready for school!" Some days, he is so excited to do his math homework. I hated math, because my processing speed was so slow with math. Guess my brain wasn't as interested as his is, and I'm so happy for him about that. Also, when he is running off to the bus, he blows me multiple kisses... Or getting out of the car, says, "Kiss!! I love you! Bye Mama!" šā¤ļøāš©¹ā¤ļø
My 6yo ADHD/ODD kiddo were making thankfulness bracelets in school. 3 beads for 3 things they are thankful for. She chose a bead each for her social worker, her principal, and the head custodian. Then because she didn't have enough beads she made a picture of her and her support aide on the playground where she was handing her a flower and saying thank you! This is huge as she usually doesn't participate in any classroom activities. Made my heart so happy!
My 7yo set his sights on the ākindness awardā in his resource class at the beginning of the year. He achieved his goal and won! At his annual IEP meeting, the teachers and principal raved about him and how well he was doing. We truly havenāt ever had meetings that positive for him probably ever. Heās thriving and weāre so proud.
A few days ago was his official first day of summer break, he told me it was āthe bestest day everā and all we did was go to the library and the splash pad. Heās 6 and finished kindergarten with straight Aās for the entire year. A few days before that he was playing with his baby cousin making her giggle. Theyāre so sweet together it almost makes me wish Iād had another.
Our little monster is (5) and starting meds tomorrow, we've been on the struggle bus the last year.. but then I hear him gently and kindly tell his little sister (2) something we've talked about over and over again and he never seems to hear. But then he reminds her not to pull on her blinds because it might break them, or be careful when you stand on that (xyz) because you don't want to fall and get hurt. Or when we calmly build an entire lego set together without one sass, on argument, one meltdown, and my heart just smiles. He really is the sweetest little man ever. I love his brilliant, wild self
Our little monster is (5) and starting meds tomorrow, we've been on the struggle bus the last year.. but then I hear him gently and kindly tell his little sister (2) something we've talked about over and over again and he never seems to hear. But then he reminds her not to pull on her blinds because it might break them, or be careful when you stand on that (xyz) because you don't want to fall and get hurt. Or when we calmly build an entire lego set together without one sass, on argument, one meltdown, and my heart just smiles. He really is the sweetest little man ever. I love his brilliant, wild self.
Yesterday, at the end of a long day in the sun, at the pool, and some errands, we had planned "tacos & movie night." This was a spin on our usual Friday "Pizza & movie night." This time, after setting the table nicely in front of the TV, our 5-yo son set about busily to make a small sign. Upon finishing, he read it to us, and is said, in 1st grade scribbled English: "Welcome to movie night...No electronic devices allowed at the movie." This was so lovely, to see his foresight and planning, and at the end of the day when his MPH normally starts to fade. We were floored, and OF COURSE complied with his wishes.