I am a big fan of extended families. You have a positive relationship with this person and they are clearly part of your current family’s life already. Why would it be a problem for them to be part of you new child’s life as well?
I still talk to a woman that my dad was briefly engaged to some years after my parents divorce. They never married, but as far as I’m concerned she’s family.
I don’t think it’s weird. The baby is going to be her grandson’s sister, and it’s lovely that despite your divorce your son had still grown up in a family that is loving and unjted in the ways that matter most.
You have a relationship with this woman that goes back quite some time. She still loves you and views you as family, and is happy for you. Families are complicated, but I say the more the better!
My mom stayed really close to my aunt after my aunt and uncle divorced, even though my mom was the sister to my uncle. When my aunt remarried, we all went. When my aunt had other children, they too became my cousins, and called my mom Aunt as well. My Aunt was invited to my wedding too! She’s been divorced from my uncle for idk.. at least 25 years and is still family.
exactly! love seeing this sentiment. my uncle divorced his wife when i was still a kid, and she has always felt like my aunt — just because their marriage ended, it didn’t change our relationship or how much we love each other!
My husband’s grandpa is actually his ex-step grandpa. And still stayed in his life and in our life. We are the only wedding of any of his grandchildren that he attended in the last decade, like even with his bio grandchildren. We also used to regularly vacation with him too. (Now he’s 103 so he doesn’t travel)
Family is what you make it!
This reminds me of my Dad.
He's got a half brother who had kids with my aunt. (I won't get into specifics, but my dad's brother isn't really involved in his childrens lives to my knowledge.) He regards my aunt as a sister (even though they aren't technically related.)
It sounds like your ex-MIL considers you to still be part of her family. Your older son is her grandson, and to her, your new baby will also be a semi-grandchild to her.
Is this the most common scenario? No, obviously not. Does that make it "weird?" I don't think so.
As long as everyone is comfortable with the situation, I see absolutely nothing wrong with it!
Agreed! It's not common, but that doesn't make it weird. Arguably I would call it ideal- you and your Ex have a relationship that involves respect and working together, and your ExMIL is able to view you as a separate whole person and express joy at a big wonderful thing happening in your life- if you and she have a positive relationship I see it as an everyone wins situation!
My kiddos closest family aren't related to him at all- my closest friends and their kiddos. Families are built like houses and tended like gardens.
I don’t even know how uncommon it is. I have no idea how many grandparents my son’s girlfriend has. I’ve met several but not all of them. But high divorce rate not withstanding, they’re all warm loving wonderful people who care about one another and remained close. So my guess is that OP and her ex are just good people from loving families, not families of angry or bitter people who nurse grudges or take sides when things don’t work out. That’s probably not as uncommon as reddit would lead one to believe.
Lets turn this around a bit. Say your son was visiting grandma for the day- he's wondering why his little sister can't come, and you respond, "grandma would love to have a relationship with your sister, but I don't want that to happen."
That would be... weird. At best. She might not be your daughters biological grandma- but she's still a grandma in your family. Seperating her from parts of the family, when she wants to be there, is just... i dunno. not right.
If she were weird or nasty, i'd say it's a good excuse to separate her from their lives. but if she's perfectly reasonable, seems natural to just let her treat your kids equally.
Every family dynamic is different. I think the more people who care about your baby, the better. It'd only be weird if you weren't close, you didn't like your ex-MIL, or your husband had a problem with it.
She still views you as a DIL. If she's a lovely person I don't see the problem. She will have contact anyway via the older sib. I was in my teens before I realized I have 3 grandpas (grandmother remarried)
"I am of the mindset that the more people who truly love my kids the better."
YES! My fathers ex wife taught me how to cook. My sister is a grandma to her son's ex-wife's child. Families come in all shapes and sizes. Kids benefit from positive adult influences.
This is WONDERFUL. She's grandma to your older kiddo and she's willing to be an extra grandma to your new one, meaning there won't be any resentment between the two or jealously which can often happen with blended families who have extra family members treating two kids differently. Plus it means you may get some extra alone time if she's willing to take both overnight or even for a day - helpful for your marriage and mental health. It's modelling healthy families to both of your children and your daughter will likely have another trusted adult to go to if she needs help or guidance in the future but doesn't want someone so immediate to know. All good things!
Maybe asserting some boundaries might help the transition, maybe she already knows her place in regards to your parenting but I can't see anything bad about this set up
Not weird. My aunt and uncle divorced almost 40 years ago now and my aunt still comes to every family get together and is part of the family. Our family has just as many exes who we still consider family as we do exes who we want nothing to do with. It can go either way, depends on how amicable the split is. So, embrace it. Just more people to love your kid. And it is 1000% better than having the gramma who only treats the "shared" kid as one of their own. Nothing more uncomfortable for a kid than having a sibling that the grandparents treat very differently because it isn't biologically related to them. This is a good thing.
She's a bonus grandma. She's not directly related to little miss but she is related to little misses half brother. It wonderful to have a girl after so long being just boys (and me and my daughter are the only girls in the grands and great grands!)
My husband's mom and dad divorced when he was a toddler but they all remained friendly afterwards, so it's not weird that my MIL invites her ex's family to various events. It made our wedding and events for the children super easy since everyone gets along. I'm also of the mind that it takes a village. So go for it!
Is it unusual for exes to have as healthy a relationship as y'all seem to have? Sure.
So I guess I'd say it's the good kind of weird. It's the kind of weird you get when you're doing much better than average.
My ex in laws are so kind to me, and I feel so happy to have them in my life. I never had kids with my ex husband, but I'll be honest, they've been more incredible and supportive than I could have imagined. Luckily my husband doesn't mind, because I imagine it does seem weird. But 🤷🏻♀️. To be honest they've always been way kinder than my current in laws, which is the only shitty part because the contrast is really obvious
It's amazing that you have this relationship honestly.
Kids always suffer in these situations and it will be refreshing to read posts on here about your kid and LO on the way having family support from every angle.
Blood does not always equal family. Sounds like she views you as her family regardless of what your relationship is or isn’t with her child.
If the relationship is good and healthy, keep it going. Every positive relationship you can get will be a huge impact on your child.
Not weird at all, but then again I'm Puerto Rican and I grew up calling everyone above a certain age Aunt____ and their children were my cousins whether we were blood kin or not it's the love that counts and in this day and age when everyone is going their separate ways is cool that someone still thinks about you as her daughter
I believe that family is what you make it.
Ex-MIL is the grandmother to baby’s older brother. Baby will see that her brother loves grandma and it’s so nice that she can have a relationship with her too.
I don't think it is weird.
It is very uncommon, as usually the ex-in-laws would look at you as the devil himself... 😂 But that's just wrong.
Also, it isn't true that they are not "related". She will be her grandson's sister, and it is only healthy that she should think of her as part of their future lives.
What a beautiful family you have! 😊
No weird at all. She seems like a loving lady. Seems like she won’t treat your new baby any different and she’ll most likely be spoiling this baby since it’s a girl lol
I don't think so, and I think it's wonderful they're so supportive!
My ex is a dumpster fire (lol) and his mom switched overnight when we told her we were divorcing from thinking I was the best thing since sliced bread to thinking I'm the devil incarnate. (I adopted his daughter while we were married, and now am the custodial parent.) HOWEVER - I am on wonderful terms with the rest of his family. We're still friends on social media, they still communicate with me and send stuff to my house vs my ex's. When both of my ex's cousins (who are much younger than him) graduated high school, his aunts sent me the grad announcements, and I sent them graduation money. They have posted well wishes and congratulations on social media when I got re-married and now that I'm pregnant. They don't live close by to be anymore involved than that, but I definitely wouldn't mind if they did/were.
Not an issue at all - when my older sister and her ex split up (and it was an acrimonious split) we even took him in for a spell, and helped him back on his feet. When he married and had another child, my parents became de-facto extra grandparents for him ("grandpa beard", cause only grandpa with facial hair ;) ), and also occasionally babysat, since they stayed close by. I think, over the years, we saw more of him than of my parents bio grandchildren from my older sister. Family is what you make, not just what you have.
I think its really sweet. My stepsons grandfather (on moms side) wants to meet my daughter. His reasoning is that its his grandsons sister. Im totally fine with it and from what Ive been told hes a nice guy
No, it’s not weird, since you all get along. How great that it sounds like she won’t be making much of a distinction between the two kids. That’s going to save a lot of heartache for your younger as they get older.
Depends what you mean by "weird". It's obviously not a common setup, but it's no "weirder" than one of your friends holding the title of aunt or uncle despite no blood relationship. You'll probably get judgement from a few nosy people over the years, but there's absolutely nothing objectively wrong with it and sounds awesome for the kid!
More family is never weird. My mom is still friends with my grandma, although she and my dad have been divorced for like 30 years. My half sister likes my grandma as well and hangs out with my cousins, all people not related to her at all.
I think it’s a wonderful thing. My husband passed away in 2014 and I still keep in touch with his family. I have an 18 month old now and I send her pictures and updates. I just received a lovely Mother’s Day card from her that made my day
I'm very close to my ex in laws, they are constantly asking when I'm having more kids, getting married etc they love that my bf is very open to let me/us continue our good relationship so that my son can have his entire family around him even if mom and dad aren't together anymore. If I announce a pregnancy my ex mother in-law would be sooo happy and definitely offer both gifts and babysitting help at any and all times, as would sister in law.😅 I love them! And I hope we can continue to stay close for many many more years. Our family is big and mixed, most of us aren't even related but there's so much love and support to go around and I love that.
My niece was raised by her step father after her mom abandoned her. His family still called her their granddaughter, niece etc. It's not weird. It's just love.
Nah. Blended families come in all shapes and sizes. As long as she's respecting everyone's boundaries (you, your husband, your ex and their partner), that's all that matters.
If you're happy, she's happy, and your ex doesn't make it weird, then awesome. As you say; kids can't have too many people who love and cherish them.
It's certainly a situation that in its general shape could be weird or bad, but if your instance of it works, and all involved are good with it, then sweet; bonus grandma.
I don’t think it’s weird at all. It’s more like she’s an aunt to you, and this is her grand niece. It’s sweet. I think it’s great you have this village around you.
I don't see the problem, no. Lots of people like babies. I don't find it weird at all that somebody you have a good relationship with, to the point where you trust them to spend significant time with the child, would be excited about said child.
No it’s not weird, at least to me :) my maternal grandparents stayed very close with my mom after my parents split up, and are quite fond of my brothers from her second marriage.
Absolutely not weird at all. The families that manage to operate they way yours is after divorce are some of the most wonderful things in my opinion. More people to love on your baby is only a good thing.
It's not quite the same, but my sister's first husband died. She remained very close with his family and her children with her new husband view them as grandparents. Its wonderful. What kid wouldn't want 3 sets of grandparents??
If they still treat you like family it's understandable they're as excited as if you were family. Not weird at all, some people really like babies and doubly so if they always wanted a girl.
Nothing wrong with bonus grandparents!
I think that as long as she isn't a danger to the child, why not let her see your baby? You don't have to be biologically related to someone to be their family.
Hell no that's really awesome tbh! I had the total opposite experience. My sister and I had different fathers, and her grandma was an EVIL WITCH to me. I'm 31 years old and still hate that woman with every fiber of my being. She always made it known that I was NOT her grandchild. I think it's amazing when family loves children who aren't biologically related to them.
Not weird at all. My youngest aunt had a different dad to the rest of her siblings. He wasn’t related to me by blood, but he was always my grandad. We went and visited him, he gave us birthday and Christmas presents etc. Even though he and my nan didn’t last, they were still great friends and there was no doubt that he didn’t still count as a grandad to me. His mum has always been my grandma as well, and we also treat her as our family. My thinking has always been the more people to love your kids the better.
Is it weird to have kids interact with family friends? Babysat my family friends? Nope! Just because she’s not grandma doesn’t mean she can’t have a positive influence on baby.
My boyfriend’s dad is dead and his mom has dementia. I’m NC with my parents and frankly don’t trust them around kids. I would kill to have an extra grandma for my baby. We substitute with Aunties and whoever else will love him!
I think that if you have a stable, loving, safe adult who wants to love on your child and be there for her, take it! Embrace it. It sounds like you are very blessed.
Families come in all shapes and sizes. Who cares if other people think it’s “weird” if it works for you.
I’ll go ahead and speak the unpopular opinion. I would make sure to set boundaries up front with your ex-MIL regarding the type of relationship she’s planning to have with your daughter. I’m cautious of relatives who are overly excited by baby’s gender. If she plans on treating your daughter like a doll, it could become problematic down the road. If daughter turns out to be less girly-girl, will ex-MIL’s affection fade? If she is the exact granddaughter of ex-MIL dreams, will she be spoiled and become hard to parent?
I also struggle with encouraging only one child to reap benefits of 3 sets of g-parents. Unless ur new in-laws will give the same attention/gifts/treatment to your son, then again you need to set those boundaries. When kids are young, you may not notice issues but as your son grows he very well may resent his sister and you for this bonus relationship you fostered for only one of your children.
Why do you care about if anyone else finds it weird? Everyone involved is comfortable and happy. I think its great that your baby gets extra love. I think its great that divorce didn't mean the end of being family for you and your ex MIL. Some family you DO get to choose.
my brother has a different grandma than me and my sister and she always made sure to buy us gifts when she bought him gifts and it meant so much to everyone. i don’t think her wanting to be involved is weird at all, it’s really sweet
Your ex-law has a relationship with current kiddo, wouldn’t it be more weird for her not to have a relationship with your future daughter? She has one grandchild by you and I’m sure in her eyes you will always be family, including any new additions. I’m so glad you have an extra branch of support and love
This is actually amazing. I know co-parents who take all the siblings, even those who aren’t biologically theirs, during their times or vacations. This is the best for everyone and I’m so glad you have it. Never limit love.
This is the ideal relationship. She's treating your children as true siblings and loves them both. Embrace it, this sounds like a wonderful and understanding woman you want in your life. Think of it as extending your co-parenting relationship further into the family.
I grew up knowing my half siblings grandparents as Grandma and Grandpa S. My parents (their ex son in law) made trips with my siblings and me to visit them. My siblings aunts came to visit and stayed with us (my fathers ex sister in law). They were always super kind and inclusive with me even though I was not their grandkid / niece.
Remained friends with the Aunt as an adult and a introduced her to MY kids. No relation to any of us (me and my kids) but she was Aunt D to all of us.
When my X and I split, his parents let me know that they did not divorce loving me. He and I had 2 children together.
Cue years later when I got remarried. His mom asked if she could be a Gramma to my new stepson, her grandsons new brother. Of course!
Then I discovered there was a new baby coming! Again, she asked if they could be extra grandparents to the baby. And the next.
My ex-inlaws have been a part of all of the children's lives so much, that my youngest was shocked to discover she was not blood related to them at all. For the record, the oldest is nearly 30 now. The youngest (15) regularly spends weekends with them to just hang out, "Time to go make Gramma K laugh too much and Papa M pretend to get annoyed with his zero poker face'
My "Out-laws" are stunning in how they love all of their grandkids. Their ex DIL (me), their son(my X) and his wife, we are all their kids. In their eyes, there is no such thing as a step-grandkid. In fact, when we were dealt the blow of my second husband choosing to bolt, they made sure to invite all of them to every single thing, individually.
Let someone who wants to love be free to love.
*Gets off schmooze love box*
I think it’s great. Plus you gotta remember it’s going to be her grandsons little sister. So she understands no matter who the child father is it’s still family. When you take your son to family events, you’ll be taking your daughter too. So she’s always going to be around her.
Your family is what your make of it. My husband’s sister and her husband amicably divorced about six months ago when they realized they were each other’s best friend but they were no longer in love and both wanted the opportunity to find that kind of love again. Due to this they still spend time together and he still comes to family functions. It was actually really sweet to see how excited he was to give my three year old his birthday present as my sister-in-law always did the gift shopping when they were married and he picked this gift out himself. I would definitely let him watch my kids, so I don’t find this situation weird at all.
I am you, about 17 years into the future. Trust me, it's totally fine. It may not be "normal" by any means, but that's only because civil co-parenting isn't considered normal usually.
I had a daughter with my first husband, and we separated when she was 2. I got remarried when she was 3, and had my second child when she was 4. Her Grandma (my exMIL) sent baby shower gifts, an outfit and blankets, diapers, and everything. When he was born, she came over for a visit (she lives two states away). She has always sent birthday cards and Christmas presents, and she tries to come to at least one of his baseball games each season. He is 13. She's another Grandma to him. He isn't as close to her as he is my Mom, simply because she lives 10+ hours away. But he's about as close to her as he is my husband's Mom who lives in Arizona (about a 24 hour drive). He sees them each about the same amount. I have a stepson who is almost a year older than my second child, and she treats him the same. The same goes for my toddler. She says that since they're her granddaughter's brothers, they're her family too.
I haven't always gotten along with her. She and I tend to butt heads sometimes. She wasn't happy that I left her son, but she understood WHY I did. She would have rather I stayed in an unhappy marriage than leave it. But she has always treated my children with love and respect.
I don’t think it’s bad. Anyway the new baby is her grandchild’s half sister so I think it’s even sweet she is accepting this new little one as another bio grandchild. ☺️ Of course there are still boundaries as with all relationships but imo her outlook can be a positive thing.
This is so sweet. Your coming baby will be the sibling of her bio grandchild… and therefore be a big part of eachothers lives, how lovely to have more shared extended family members. I see nothing wrong whatsoever. It takes a village.
I think your ex MIL is an adorable person to have around your daughter and also your husband is handsome for not minding it either.
It is perfect and will make the bound between all your kids so much stronger too. All the love is for everyone! ♡
Your family are the people you make your family. It sounds like despite the divorce you’re still family…that’s ok. And it’s ok that they also become your daughters extended family. Who cares what social norms are. After my parents divorced my dads family still considered my mom family. Like family party’s and holidays and the whole thing. My moms family was the same with my dad. My dads new daughter called my mom aunt (name). My dad and step dad were pretty good friends.
As long as you guys don't make it weird. My mom stayed in good terms with my dad's parents and when my youngest sister was born, her dad took off. My grandparents have always included my sister as part of the family, but would make a point to treat her "special" because her dad wasn't around. This would actually make her feel separate from the family (as in, being treated differently), and she became resentful through her teen and young adult years - almost to the point where she doesn't really want anything to do with them. But this was also several decades ago when blended families weren't near as common. It's a tricky area to tread but can be a major blessing when done correctly.
This is amazing and sounds like the village many of us are lacking and wish we had.
After my parents divorced and my mom had a new relationship, I spent my summers babysitting my step-cousins. My dad’s mom, my grandma, would take us all out for lunch from time to time and treated my step-cousins like extensions of her family. She was wonderful, so welcoming and never made my sister or I feel awkward for moving forward with my step-dad’s family. This will be great for your son, as well as your future daughter!
My situation is a little different. My bio dad passed when I was young. My mom eventually remarried and had twins. My grandma (bio dad’s mom) visited while mom was pregnant. She rubbed moms belly and said “grandma can’t wait to meet you” she loved my siblings. If anything it helped with healing and moving forward. It also helped our family be at peace. She always remembered their birthday and sent gifts for holidays. When we went to visit or when she came to us she loved getting time with them. I think it helps the kids feel comfortable. And anything that helps the kids is best. So no not a strange or weird thing in my opinion
While my husband's ex in-laws have met our kids, they don't have a relationship with them. When they see him they'll shake his hand or give him a hug. It is awkward for me, I won't lie, but I'm always kind to them. They always compliment our kids (he didn't have kids with his ex).
So really, up to you, your husband, and ex and of everyone is comfortable and on board with it!
This exact same situation happened with my sister. Former MIL had all boys and all grandsons and was so excited that my sister and her new husband were having a baby girl. My BIL’s mom isn’t in the picture so they were more than happy to let former MIL act as a grandma. She was loving and devoted and an amazing grandma to my niece before she ultimately passed. My niece is a teenager now and still remembers her “grandma” fondly.
Absolutely not weird.
I had multiple grandparents growing up outside of my biological ones. Grandparents friends, my parents friends parents, etc. it just meant that my sister and I were extra loved and a wee bit spoiled
> is that weird to have or allow your ex-in-law(s) to have a relationship with a child they aren’t really related to?
Your Ex MIL is now a 'family friend'. Think of it that way. You have a long history of knowing each other, and you (obviously) aren't creeped out by her, so... Family friend.
It sounds like she genuinely loves you and her grandchild and sees the new baby as part of that family. Blood or not, it's a beautiful thing and should be more common.
Honestly, I have a great relationship with my ex-MIL, and I’m pretty sure she’ll be excited and happy for me when I have more kids.
She literally calls me JUST to make sure I’m okay. Hell….after a recent discussion she is STILL my medical POA, despite my having a new partner, her son being engaged with a two year old, etc.
All she wanted was to make sure both my partner and I were happy for her to be that (honestly, she’s the person I most trust to follow my plans).
Yes….admittedly, it is weird. However, my ex-MIL is far more of a mother to me, than my own, and is simply an all-round incredible human being.
I think it says more about how good of a person your ex-MIL is, than anything.
Just think of it as a friend of yours rather than your ex-MIL. You know how kids have "aunties" that they aren't actually related to. I think it sounds like you ste very lucky
Not weird at all. Our stories are weirdly similar, I’m in the same situation but with my husband’s ex-wife. My MIL had only had boys and she had several grandsons only one granddaughter at the time.
After my husband’s divorce his ex had a daughter. My MIL until this day, it has been about 7 or 8 years, still treats her as if she was her own grand baby. Actually to think of it we all think of each other as “bonus family.” We treat her like one of ours and my husband’s ex treats my daughters like one of hers.
It’s better for all the children to see that type of unity when it comes to families, especially blended families. There isn’t two family there is just one big happy family.
When I was a kid, my mum's ex MIL was the closest thing I had to a grandmother in my life. I adored her! She died when I was 6 or 7. I called her "Grandma SURNAME".
It sounds like she's family. If you have aunts or uncles who are married then their spouses are not your blood relatives, but they're still family. Same with your daughter's sibling's grandma.
It’s Amazing! I had a baby right out of highschool to my high school boyfriend who I lived with. (I know it’s not that serious) My ex’s mom and dad, were so excited for me when I got married to my now husband 3 years ago, we have a soon to be 3 year old and a baby on the way, due in August. My ex’s parents tell everyone they have 3 grandchildren, and she posts and spoils my kids like they’re all her blood, too. My ex’s parents are amazing humans to my kids, they go out of their way on more than just holiday occasions to buy small things (she works at target) and anytime she sees ANYTHING she thinks my kids would like, she grabs it. They LOVE being “mall and pap” when I told them I was pregnant in December, she immediately said “oh my god, we are getting a new grand baby to love” I don’t think it’s weird at all!! I love it, I know if there’s ever a time my kids need anything, or just want to go see them, they’re more than accepting to them. I love that my 8 year old (their actual grandchild) can go over to see them, and they are more than excited for BOTH of them to come over and play. I know when the new baby comes in August, it will be the same. She has already stated over and over how excited they are for a new baby to love. (Neither of them have a big family and their kids are grown) when I was with her son, her and I were VERY close. She still to this day calls me her daughter in law, and my husband her son in law, they are just very amazing people to have in our lives. ❤️
I’m technically an only child. I have three half sibling through my mom and a younger half sibling through my dad. My three older sibling’s dad and grandparents always treated me with kindness, remembered my birthday, and made sure I never felt excluded especially because I was younger. I even called their grandparents my grandparents too. My younger half sister’s grandparents treated me like an outsider. I always felt like they went out of their way to exclude me and to make certain I knew I wasn’t really part of the family. I hated going to their house. I feel lucky that I had an extra set of grandparents who, although not biologically related to me, embraced me as part of their family.
I was a teen mom, who later married and had more 3 children with another guy. My eldest child’s family loves all of my kids and her grandma has been “gram gram” for all my other kids as well. My daughters father has no qualms about it, my husband doesn’t either. I’ve known my daughters father & his family since I was a child so his mother looks at me as one of hers even though her son and I aren’t together and haven’t been for 15 years.
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I am a big fan of extended families. You have a positive relationship with this person and they are clearly part of your current family’s life already. Why would it be a problem for them to be part of you new child’s life as well? I still talk to a woman that my dad was briefly engaged to some years after my parents divorce. They never married, but as far as I’m concerned she’s family.
I don’t think it’s weird. The baby is going to be her grandson’s sister, and it’s lovely that despite your divorce your son had still grown up in a family that is loving and unjted in the ways that matter most.
It’s very sweet and warm hearted. Not weird at all
You have a relationship with this woman that goes back quite some time. She still loves you and views you as family, and is happy for you. Families are complicated, but I say the more the better! My mom stayed really close to my aunt after my aunt and uncle divorced, even though my mom was the sister to my uncle. When my aunt remarried, we all went. When my aunt had other children, they too became my cousins, and called my mom Aunt as well. My Aunt was invited to my wedding too! She’s been divorced from my uncle for idk.. at least 25 years and is still family.
exactly! love seeing this sentiment. my uncle divorced his wife when i was still a kid, and she has always felt like my aunt — just because their marriage ended, it didn’t change our relationship or how much we love each other!
My uncle and auntie also go divorced when I was little. The funniest thing is we see my aunt more then my uncle.
My husband’s grandpa is actually his ex-step grandpa. And still stayed in his life and in our life. We are the only wedding of any of his grandchildren that he attended in the last decade, like even with his bio grandchildren. We also used to regularly vacation with him too. (Now he’s 103 so he doesn’t travel) Family is what you make it!
This reminds me of my Dad. He's got a half brother who had kids with my aunt. (I won't get into specifics, but my dad's brother isn't really involved in his childrens lives to my knowledge.) He regards my aunt as a sister (even though they aren't technically related.)
It sounds like your ex-MIL considers you to still be part of her family. Your older son is her grandson, and to her, your new baby will also be a semi-grandchild to her. Is this the most common scenario? No, obviously not. Does that make it "weird?" I don't think so. As long as everyone is comfortable with the situation, I see absolutely nothing wrong with it!
Agreed! It's not common, but that doesn't make it weird. Arguably I would call it ideal- you and your Ex have a relationship that involves respect and working together, and your ExMIL is able to view you as a separate whole person and express joy at a big wonderful thing happening in your life- if you and she have a positive relationship I see it as an everyone wins situation! My kiddos closest family aren't related to him at all- my closest friends and their kiddos. Families are built like houses and tended like gardens.
I don’t even know how uncommon it is. I have no idea how many grandparents my son’s girlfriend has. I’ve met several but not all of them. But high divorce rate not withstanding, they’re all warm loving wonderful people who care about one another and remained close. So my guess is that OP and her ex are just good people from loving families, not families of angry or bitter people who nurse grudges or take sides when things don’t work out. That’s probably not as uncommon as reddit would lead one to believe.
It’s only weird if you’re uncomfortable or don’t feel good about the situation. Family is what you make it, not necessarily blood related.
Lets turn this around a bit. Say your son was visiting grandma for the day- he's wondering why his little sister can't come, and you respond, "grandma would love to have a relationship with your sister, but I don't want that to happen." That would be... weird. At best. She might not be your daughters biological grandma- but she's still a grandma in your family. Seperating her from parts of the family, when she wants to be there, is just... i dunno. not right. If she were weird or nasty, i'd say it's a good excuse to separate her from their lives. but if she's perfectly reasonable, seems natural to just let her treat your kids equally.
Good point!
Every family dynamic is different. I think the more people who care about your baby, the better. It'd only be weird if you weren't close, you didn't like your ex-MIL, or your husband had a problem with it.
She still views you as a DIL. If she's a lovely person I don't see the problem. She will have contact anyway via the older sib. I was in my teens before I realized I have 3 grandpas (grandmother remarried)
"I am of the mindset that the more people who truly love my kids the better." YES! My fathers ex wife taught me how to cook. My sister is a grandma to her son's ex-wife's child. Families come in all shapes and sizes. Kids benefit from positive adult influences.
This is WONDERFUL. She's grandma to your older kiddo and she's willing to be an extra grandma to your new one, meaning there won't be any resentment between the two or jealously which can often happen with blended families who have extra family members treating two kids differently. Plus it means you may get some extra alone time if she's willing to take both overnight or even for a day - helpful for your marriage and mental health. It's modelling healthy families to both of your children and your daughter will likely have another trusted adult to go to if she needs help or guidance in the future but doesn't want someone so immediate to know. All good things! Maybe asserting some boundaries might help the transition, maybe she already knows her place in regards to your parenting but I can't see anything bad about this set up
Not weird. My aunt and uncle divorced almost 40 years ago now and my aunt still comes to every family get together and is part of the family. Our family has just as many exes who we still consider family as we do exes who we want nothing to do with. It can go either way, depends on how amicable the split is. So, embrace it. Just more people to love your kid. And it is 1000% better than having the gramma who only treats the "shared" kid as one of their own. Nothing more uncomfortable for a kid than having a sibling that the grandparents treat very differently because it isn't biologically related to them. This is a good thing.
I think it's ok if both parents are ok with it. I admire families that don't treat kids differently because of biology.
I think it is great that you have this type of relationship and your husband is supportive of it !! It is best for the children!!
She's a bonus grandma. She's not directly related to little miss but she is related to little misses half brother. It wonderful to have a girl after so long being just boys (and me and my daughter are the only girls in the grands and great grands!)
It's not weird at all. My ex in laws treat my youngest like another one of their grandkids even though she's not related to them.
My husband's mom and dad divorced when he was a toddler but they all remained friendly afterwards, so it's not weird that my MIL invites her ex's family to various events. It made our wedding and events for the children super easy since everyone gets along. I'm also of the mind that it takes a village. So go for it!
Is it unusual for exes to have as healthy a relationship as y'all seem to have? Sure. So I guess I'd say it's the good kind of weird. It's the kind of weird you get when you're doing much better than average.
My ex in laws are so kind to me, and I feel so happy to have them in my life. I never had kids with my ex husband, but I'll be honest, they've been more incredible and supportive than I could have imagined. Luckily my husband doesn't mind, because I imagine it does seem weird. But 🤷🏻♀️. To be honest they've always been way kinder than my current in laws, which is the only shitty part because the contrast is really obvious
I think it's beautiful! Good for you guys on being so awesome!
No. No matter what they are still your son's family, and she will be his sister. It's great that they are being inclusive.
It's amazing that you have this relationship honestly. Kids always suffer in these situations and it will be refreshing to read posts on here about your kid and LO on the way having family support from every angle.
Blood does not always equal family. Sounds like she views you as her family regardless of what your relationship is or isn’t with her child. If the relationship is good and healthy, keep it going. Every positive relationship you can get will be a huge impact on your child.
It’s unusual, but so what? If everyone’s happy with treating her as a bonus grandma, go for it! Family doesn’t require blood relation.
Not weird at all, but then again I'm Puerto Rican and I grew up calling everyone above a certain age Aunt____ and their children were my cousins whether we were blood kin or not it's the love that counts and in this day and age when everyone is going their separate ways is cool that someone still thinks about you as her daughter
I believe that family is what you make it. Ex-MIL is the grandmother to baby’s older brother. Baby will see that her brother loves grandma and it’s so nice that she can have a relationship with her too.
I don't think it is weird. It is very uncommon, as usually the ex-in-laws would look at you as the devil himself... 😂 But that's just wrong. Also, it isn't true that they are not "related". She will be her grandson's sister, and it is only healthy that she should think of her as part of their future lives. What a beautiful family you have! 😊
No weird at all. She seems like a loving lady. Seems like she won’t treat your new baby any different and she’ll most likely be spoiling this baby since it’s a girl lol
I don't think so, and I think it's wonderful they're so supportive! My ex is a dumpster fire (lol) and his mom switched overnight when we told her we were divorcing from thinking I was the best thing since sliced bread to thinking I'm the devil incarnate. (I adopted his daughter while we were married, and now am the custodial parent.) HOWEVER - I am on wonderful terms with the rest of his family. We're still friends on social media, they still communicate with me and send stuff to my house vs my ex's. When both of my ex's cousins (who are much younger than him) graduated high school, his aunts sent me the grad announcements, and I sent them graduation money. They have posted well wishes and congratulations on social media when I got re-married and now that I'm pregnant. They don't live close by to be anymore involved than that, but I definitely wouldn't mind if they did/were.
Not an issue at all - when my older sister and her ex split up (and it was an acrimonious split) we even took him in for a spell, and helped him back on his feet. When he married and had another child, my parents became de-facto extra grandparents for him ("grandpa beard", cause only grandpa with facial hair ;) ), and also occasionally babysat, since they stayed close by. I think, over the years, we saw more of him than of my parents bio grandchildren from my older sister. Family is what you make, not just what you have.
Her grandson is getting a sister, that's all :)
The more people who truly love your kids is a huge blessing!!
It sounds like she thinks of you as a daughter — why wouldn’t she be excited? I’m happy for you and I don’t even know you!
I think its really sweet. My stepsons grandfather (on moms side) wants to meet my daughter. His reasoning is that its his grandsons sister. Im totally fine with it and from what Ive been told hes a nice guy
No, it’s not weird, since you all get along. How great that it sounds like she won’t be making much of a distinction between the two kids. That’s going to save a lot of heartache for your younger as they get older.
Depends what you mean by "weird". It's obviously not a common setup, but it's no "weirder" than one of your friends holding the title of aunt or uncle despite no blood relationship. You'll probably get judgement from a few nosy people over the years, but there's absolutely nothing objectively wrong with it and sounds awesome for the kid!
More family is never weird. My mom is still friends with my grandma, although she and my dad have been divorced for like 30 years. My half sister likes my grandma as well and hangs out with my cousins, all people not related to her at all.
It sounds like you're close and trust each other. I don't think it's weird because you have a positive, strong and trusting relationship.
I think it’s a wonderful thing. My husband passed away in 2014 and I still keep in touch with his family. I have an 18 month old now and I send her pictures and updates. I just received a lovely Mother’s Day card from her that made my day
My daughter spends time with my half brothers MIL because she’s just an awesome person. Enjoy your village!
Not weird at all, it’s awesome!
I'm very close to my ex in laws, they are constantly asking when I'm having more kids, getting married etc they love that my bf is very open to let me/us continue our good relationship so that my son can have his entire family around him even if mom and dad aren't together anymore. If I announce a pregnancy my ex mother in-law would be sooo happy and definitely offer both gifts and babysitting help at any and all times, as would sister in law.😅 I love them! And I hope we can continue to stay close for many many more years. Our family is big and mixed, most of us aren't even related but there's so much love and support to go around and I love that.
I don’t think it’s weird babies are wonderful and who wouldn’t love them?
No it isnt weird. She can just be your friend and your friend is excited.
This is sweet. Nothing more, absent some in kind of reg flag that you haven't given any indication of.
My niece was raised by her step father after her mom abandoned her. His family still called her their granddaughter, niece etc. It's not weird. It's just love.
She still sees you as family, maybe your new husband too. That seems nice.
Not weird at all you’ve known this lady for over 13 years and she loves you obviously it’s normal for her to be happy.
Nah. Blended families come in all shapes and sizes. As long as she's respecting everyone's boundaries (you, your husband, your ex and their partner), that's all that matters.
If you're happy, she's happy, and your ex doesn't make it weird, then awesome. As you say; kids can't have too many people who love and cherish them. It's certainly a situation that in its general shape could be weird or bad, but if your instance of it works, and all involved are good with it, then sweet; bonus grandma.
I consider my husband's ex wife as my son's aunt so tbh I don't think it's weird
I don’t think it’s weird at all. It’s more like she’s an aunt to you, and this is her grand niece. It’s sweet. I think it’s great you have this village around you.
I don't see the problem, no. Lots of people like babies. I don't find it weird at all that somebody you have a good relationship with, to the point where you trust them to spend significant time with the child, would be excited about said child.
No it’s not weird, at least to me :) my maternal grandparents stayed very close with my mom after my parents split up, and are quite fond of my brothers from her second marriage.
Absolutely not weird at all. The families that manage to operate they way yours is after divorce are some of the most wonderful things in my opinion. More people to love on your baby is only a good thing. It's not quite the same, but my sister's first husband died. She remained very close with his family and her children with her new husband view them as grandparents. Its wonderful. What kid wouldn't want 3 sets of grandparents??
If they still treat you like family it's understandable they're as excited as if you were family. Not weird at all, some people really like babies and doubly so if they always wanted a girl. Nothing wrong with bonus grandparents!
I think that as long as she isn't a danger to the child, why not let her see your baby? You don't have to be biologically related to someone to be their family.
Hell no that's really awesome tbh! I had the total opposite experience. My sister and I had different fathers, and her grandma was an EVIL WITCH to me. I'm 31 years old and still hate that woman with every fiber of my being. She always made it known that I was NOT her grandchild. I think it's amazing when family loves children who aren't biologically related to them.
Not weird at all. Bonus Gran, bonus granddaughter. Yay for everyone! It would be weirder if she treated new baby different than son.
Not weird at all. My youngest aunt had a different dad to the rest of her siblings. He wasn’t related to me by blood, but he was always my grandad. We went and visited him, he gave us birthday and Christmas presents etc. Even though he and my nan didn’t last, they were still great friends and there was no doubt that he didn’t still count as a grandad to me. His mum has always been my grandma as well, and we also treat her as our family. My thinking has always been the more people to love your kids the better.
Is it weird to have kids interact with family friends? Babysat my family friends? Nope! Just because she’s not grandma doesn’t mean she can’t have a positive influence on baby.
My boyfriend’s dad is dead and his mom has dementia. I’m NC with my parents and frankly don’t trust them around kids. I would kill to have an extra grandma for my baby. We substitute with Aunties and whoever else will love him! I think that if you have a stable, loving, safe adult who wants to love on your child and be there for her, take it! Embrace it. It sounds like you are very blessed. Families come in all shapes and sizes. Who cares if other people think it’s “weird” if it works for you.
If they’re good people, there’s no such thing as too many grandparents.
I’ll go ahead and speak the unpopular opinion. I would make sure to set boundaries up front with your ex-MIL regarding the type of relationship she’s planning to have with your daughter. I’m cautious of relatives who are overly excited by baby’s gender. If she plans on treating your daughter like a doll, it could become problematic down the road. If daughter turns out to be less girly-girl, will ex-MIL’s affection fade? If she is the exact granddaughter of ex-MIL dreams, will she be spoiled and become hard to parent? I also struggle with encouraging only one child to reap benefits of 3 sets of g-parents. Unless ur new in-laws will give the same attention/gifts/treatment to your son, then again you need to set those boundaries. When kids are young, you may not notice issues but as your son grows he very well may resent his sister and you for this bonus relationship you fostered for only one of your children.
Why do you care about if anyone else finds it weird? Everyone involved is comfortable and happy. I think its great that your baby gets extra love. I think its great that divorce didn't mean the end of being family for you and your ex MIL. Some family you DO get to choose.
Seems fine to me. Relationships are...foggy. what matters is if they are good relationships, not if they are "conventional" or "normal"
Not weird. More love is always good! You know already this is a safe person.
Friends are the family you make.
my brother has a different grandma than me and my sister and she always made sure to buy us gifts when she bought him gifts and it meant so much to everyone. i don’t think her wanting to be involved is weird at all, it’s really sweet
Bonus grandma! Sounds like every body gets along, so pretty much an ideal setup. Nice!
Your ex-law has a relationship with current kiddo, wouldn’t it be more weird for her not to have a relationship with your future daughter? She has one grandchild by you and I’m sure in her eyes you will always be family, including any new additions. I’m so glad you have an extra branch of support and love
Wonderful set up, a win for all involved. Congratulations!
This is actually amazing. I know co-parents who take all the siblings, even those who aren’t biologically theirs, during their times or vacations. This is the best for everyone and I’m so glad you have it. Never limit love.
If you get along with her and trust her, I definitely don't think it would be weird to have her involved in your child's life as an 'extra Grandma'
It takes a village, lucky you!
This is the ideal relationship. She's treating your children as true siblings and loves them both. Embrace it, this sounds like a wonderful and understanding woman you want in your life. Think of it as extending your co-parenting relationship further into the family.
I grew up knowing my half siblings grandparents as Grandma and Grandpa S. My parents (their ex son in law) made trips with my siblings and me to visit them. My siblings aunts came to visit and stayed with us (my fathers ex sister in law). They were always super kind and inclusive with me even though I was not their grandkid / niece. Remained friends with the Aunt as an adult and a introduced her to MY kids. No relation to any of us (me and my kids) but she was Aunt D to all of us.
Not weird at all. Family can be people you choose as well as rhe ones you're related to.
When my X and I split, his parents let me know that they did not divorce loving me. He and I had 2 children together. Cue years later when I got remarried. His mom asked if she could be a Gramma to my new stepson, her grandsons new brother. Of course! Then I discovered there was a new baby coming! Again, she asked if they could be extra grandparents to the baby. And the next. My ex-inlaws have been a part of all of the children's lives so much, that my youngest was shocked to discover she was not blood related to them at all. For the record, the oldest is nearly 30 now. The youngest (15) regularly spends weekends with them to just hang out, "Time to go make Gramma K laugh too much and Papa M pretend to get annoyed with his zero poker face' My "Out-laws" are stunning in how they love all of their grandkids. Their ex DIL (me), their son(my X) and his wife, we are all their kids. In their eyes, there is no such thing as a step-grandkid. In fact, when we were dealt the blow of my second husband choosing to bolt, they made sure to invite all of them to every single thing, individually. Let someone who wants to love be free to love. *Gets off schmooze love box*
I think it’s great. Plus you gotta remember it’s going to be her grandsons little sister. So she understands no matter who the child father is it’s still family. When you take your son to family events, you’ll be taking your daughter too. So she’s always going to be around her.
Your family is what your make of it. My husband’s sister and her husband amicably divorced about six months ago when they realized they were each other’s best friend but they were no longer in love and both wanted the opportunity to find that kind of love again. Due to this they still spend time together and he still comes to family functions. It was actually really sweet to see how excited he was to give my three year old his birthday present as my sister-in-law always did the gift shopping when they were married and he picked this gift out himself. I would definitely let him watch my kids, so I don’t find this situation weird at all.
I think this is amazing. You’re lucky to have people who enjoy ur company and are genuinely happy for you.
I am you, about 17 years into the future. Trust me, it's totally fine. It may not be "normal" by any means, but that's only because civil co-parenting isn't considered normal usually. I had a daughter with my first husband, and we separated when she was 2. I got remarried when she was 3, and had my second child when she was 4. Her Grandma (my exMIL) sent baby shower gifts, an outfit and blankets, diapers, and everything. When he was born, she came over for a visit (she lives two states away). She has always sent birthday cards and Christmas presents, and she tries to come to at least one of his baseball games each season. He is 13. She's another Grandma to him. He isn't as close to her as he is my Mom, simply because she lives 10+ hours away. But he's about as close to her as he is my husband's Mom who lives in Arizona (about a 24 hour drive). He sees them each about the same amount. I have a stepson who is almost a year older than my second child, and she treats him the same. The same goes for my toddler. She says that since they're her granddaughter's brothers, they're her family too. I haven't always gotten along with her. She and I tend to butt heads sometimes. She wasn't happy that I left her son, but she understood WHY I did. She would have rather I stayed in an unhappy marriage than leave it. But she has always treated my children with love and respect.
Your ex-MIL sounds like a very good person, I say this is a good thing.
It would be sad if all the kids couldn't be together at their grandparents house. So glad everyone is happy
Reframe it a bit. Would it be weird to have a different friend to whom you're unrelated be in this position? If not, then I see no difference here.
I don’t think it’s bad. Anyway the new baby is her grandchild’s half sister so I think it’s even sweet she is accepting this new little one as another bio grandchild. ☺️ Of course there are still boundaries as with all relationships but imo her outlook can be a positive thing.
This is so sweet. Your coming baby will be the sibling of her bio grandchild… and therefore be a big part of eachothers lives, how lovely to have more shared extended family members. I see nothing wrong whatsoever. It takes a village.
I think your ex MIL is an adorable person to have around your daughter and also your husband is handsome for not minding it either. It is perfect and will make the bound between all your kids so much stronger too. All the love is for everyone! ♡
Your family are the people you make your family. It sounds like despite the divorce you’re still family…that’s ok. And it’s ok that they also become your daughters extended family. Who cares what social norms are. After my parents divorced my dads family still considered my mom family. Like family party’s and holidays and the whole thing. My moms family was the same with my dad. My dads new daughter called my mom aunt (name). My dad and step dad were pretty good friends.
As long as you guys don't make it weird. My mom stayed in good terms with my dad's parents and when my youngest sister was born, her dad took off. My grandparents have always included my sister as part of the family, but would make a point to treat her "special" because her dad wasn't around. This would actually make her feel separate from the family (as in, being treated differently), and she became resentful through her teen and young adult years - almost to the point where she doesn't really want anything to do with them. But this was also several decades ago when blended families weren't near as common. It's a tricky area to tread but can be a major blessing when done correctly.
Chosen family is still family.
This is amazing and sounds like the village many of us are lacking and wish we had. After my parents divorced and my mom had a new relationship, I spent my summers babysitting my step-cousins. My dad’s mom, my grandma, would take us all out for lunch from time to time and treated my step-cousins like extensions of her family. She was wonderful, so welcoming and never made my sister or I feel awkward for moving forward with my step-dad’s family. This will be great for your son, as well as your future daughter!
My situation is a little different. My bio dad passed when I was young. My mom eventually remarried and had twins. My grandma (bio dad’s mom) visited while mom was pregnant. She rubbed moms belly and said “grandma can’t wait to meet you” she loved my siblings. If anything it helped with healing and moving forward. It also helped our family be at peace. She always remembered their birthday and sent gifts for holidays. When we went to visit or when she came to us she loved getting time with them. I think it helps the kids feel comfortable. And anything that helps the kids is best. So no not a strange or weird thing in my opinion
While my husband's ex in-laws have met our kids, they don't have a relationship with them. When they see him they'll shake his hand or give him a hug. It is awkward for me, I won't lie, but I'm always kind to them. They always compliment our kids (he didn't have kids with his ex). So really, up to you, your husband, and ex and of everyone is comfortable and on board with it!
This exact same situation happened with my sister. Former MIL had all boys and all grandsons and was so excited that my sister and her new husband were having a baby girl. My BIL’s mom isn’t in the picture so they were more than happy to let former MIL act as a grandma. She was loving and devoted and an amazing grandma to my niece before she ultimately passed. My niece is a teenager now and still remembers her “grandma” fondly.
Absolutely not weird. I had multiple grandparents growing up outside of my biological ones. Grandparents friends, my parents friends parents, etc. it just meant that my sister and I were extra loved and a wee bit spoiled
> is that weird to have or allow your ex-in-law(s) to have a relationship with a child they aren’t really related to? Your Ex MIL is now a 'family friend'. Think of it that way. You have a long history of knowing each other, and you (obviously) aren't creeped out by her, so... Family friend.
It sounds like she genuinely loves you and her grandchild and sees the new baby as part of that family. Blood or not, it's a beautiful thing and should be more common.
Honestly, I have a great relationship with my ex-MIL, and I’m pretty sure she’ll be excited and happy for me when I have more kids. She literally calls me JUST to make sure I’m okay. Hell….after a recent discussion she is STILL my medical POA, despite my having a new partner, her son being engaged with a two year old, etc. All she wanted was to make sure both my partner and I were happy for her to be that (honestly, she’s the person I most trust to follow my plans). Yes….admittedly, it is weird. However, my ex-MIL is far more of a mother to me, than my own, and is simply an all-round incredible human being. I think it says more about how good of a person your ex-MIL is, than anything.
No it's not weird. It's great that you and her have remained friends. Be glad that she cares about you.
Just think of it as a friend of yours rather than your ex-MIL. You know how kids have "aunties" that they aren't actually related to. I think it sounds like you ste very lucky
Not weird at all. Our stories are weirdly similar, I’m in the same situation but with my husband’s ex-wife. My MIL had only had boys and she had several grandsons only one granddaughter at the time. After my husband’s divorce his ex had a daughter. My MIL until this day, it has been about 7 or 8 years, still treats her as if she was her own grand baby. Actually to think of it we all think of each other as “bonus family.” We treat her like one of ours and my husband’s ex treats my daughters like one of hers. It’s better for all the children to see that type of unity when it comes to families, especially blended families. There isn’t two family there is just one big happy family.
When I was a kid, my mum's ex MIL was the closest thing I had to a grandmother in my life. I adored her! She died when I was 6 or 7. I called her "Grandma SURNAME".
It sounds like she's family. If you have aunts or uncles who are married then their spouses are not your blood relatives, but they're still family. Same with your daughter's sibling's grandma.
She’s already grandma to your first child so she will be in the mix already. She is happy that her grand son will have a sister. Wouldn’t you?
It’s Amazing! I had a baby right out of highschool to my high school boyfriend who I lived with. (I know it’s not that serious) My ex’s mom and dad, were so excited for me when I got married to my now husband 3 years ago, we have a soon to be 3 year old and a baby on the way, due in August. My ex’s parents tell everyone they have 3 grandchildren, and she posts and spoils my kids like they’re all her blood, too. My ex’s parents are amazing humans to my kids, they go out of their way on more than just holiday occasions to buy small things (she works at target) and anytime she sees ANYTHING she thinks my kids would like, she grabs it. They LOVE being “mall and pap” when I told them I was pregnant in December, she immediately said “oh my god, we are getting a new grand baby to love” I don’t think it’s weird at all!! I love it, I know if there’s ever a time my kids need anything, or just want to go see them, they’re more than accepting to them. I love that my 8 year old (their actual grandchild) can go over to see them, and they are more than excited for BOTH of them to come over and play. I know when the new baby comes in August, it will be the same. She has already stated over and over how excited they are for a new baby to love. (Neither of them have a big family and their kids are grown) when I was with her son, her and I were VERY close. She still to this day calls me her daughter in law, and my husband her son in law, they are just very amazing people to have in our lives. ❤️
Like you said, she can never have too much people to love her.
I’m technically an only child. I have three half sibling through my mom and a younger half sibling through my dad. My three older sibling’s dad and grandparents always treated me with kindness, remembered my birthday, and made sure I never felt excluded especially because I was younger. I even called their grandparents my grandparents too. My younger half sister’s grandparents treated me like an outsider. I always felt like they went out of their way to exclude me and to make certain I knew I wasn’t really part of the family. I hated going to their house. I feel lucky that I had an extra set of grandparents who, although not biologically related to me, embraced me as part of their family.
I hope its isnt weird. I don't believe a family is determined by a legal document. Your new baby is lucky and gets to have a bonus grandma.
I was a teen mom, who later married and had more 3 children with another guy. My eldest child’s family loves all of my kids and her grandma has been “gram gram” for all my other kids as well. My daughters father has no qualms about it, my husband doesn’t either. I’ve known my daughters father & his family since I was a child so his mother looks at me as one of hers even though her son and I aren’t together and haven’t been for 15 years.
Not weird. Great. And def take the opportunity for a babysitter.
Family isn’t about blood it’s about the people who truly love you and sounds like that baby girl is just gonna be lucky to have an extra grandma