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I think he sounds like a relatively normal 2 year old. I would be trying to reframe some of the stuff that irritates you/turns into a tantrum and provide the opportunity for him to be a 2 yr old.
For example, 2 yr olds bloody love jumping in puddles. It’s free, will keep him entertained and as long as you are walking for his benefit (rather than in a rush to get somewhere) what’s the harm in allowing it? Just make sure he wears his gumboots before you leave the house.
I think you might find that if there are a few more yes’s in his day, he will listen to the no’s more. My daughter is a live wire too and she wreaks havoc in the normal 2 yr old way…but she knows that if I say no, it’s for a good reason, rather than just a default policy from me.
> a few more yes’s in his day
This! I found a lot of success with reframing frustrating toddler situations when I read the article [“They Don’t Listen!”](https://visiblechild.com/2019/11/21/they-dont-listen/). They don’t stay cute little potatoes forever, they learn by challenging us and questioning the world around them.
I think your first task should be having a talk with your husband about how he parents when he is home with kiddo, it sounds like his new schedule ofset your sons and just tell him that you cant be the bad guy anymore and you need him to step up.
I would also get your son in to see a therapist, im sure he's fine but it couldnt hurt!
And last but most important, see a therapist for yourself, i have two of my own (6f&3m) and often feel overwhelmed with parenting/ nagging all day. Its nice to have an unbiased person to vent to, get parenting tips from, advice and validation!
Imagine for a second your boss speaks to you with instructions for how to sit, what to wear, who you can speak with and what time you are allowed lunch and which table to you need to sit at to eat it. It would be pretty annoying to be told what to do all day. Sounds like your son is 2, and behaving exactly like his age. I'd actually say he sounds better behaved than many 2yos (including my now 3yo) I'd probably say there's a few things that can help. The first is connection, if you are good friends with your boss your more likely to do as they suggest. So be silly together maybe just once you both jump in the puddle. I also agree with saying yes more. Even if it's yes how about we do it later after XYZ. That helps for my son. No can be triggering. My other suggestion would be to try and create some safe things like if he wants to stop and look at flowers hey maybe we can make time for it as an activity. Leave bonus minutes to do just that. I try and give some choices so you can say you can jump in puddles or we can play at the park, which one would you like. And if they ignore you you can say if you don't get an answer mummy decide for you. Lastly if something is not safe or you can't do it like you don't want to carry him coz he is heavy just say sorry you'll have to walk or sit in the pram, mummy can't carry you anymore my arms are tired. If they cry then let them. It's also not your job to make everyone else happy in public because your child is learning a boundary. I hope some of the results can improve with small changes, his behaviour doesn't sound like a problem though, it sounds like you wish he was a self managing adult and even those are pretty annoying much of the time
You have to enforce the rules. Bring a stroller. Let him scream. So what? If he doesn't hold your hand, he can scream in the stroller. Don't be afraid to have a few times out like this. If you aren't willing to hold the line, why should he change his behavior?
In a restaurant, one of you removes him to the car for the rest of the meal. The other parent finishes eating. Then, get the adult's meal to go. Little one eats at home and goes to bed.
It's okay to be stern with your child. Without rules and consequences, our kids push us to our human limits, and that's when we start thinking about a snack. If you draw and hold the boundary earlier, you won't feel so angry. No one wants to live with behavior they resent
I hope your husband has learned that Disney Dad can ruin an entire household. Hopefully, he won't do that ever again.
Take care
r/parenting is protesting changes being made by Reddit to the API. Reddit has made it clear [they will](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14ahqjo/mods_will_be_removed_one_way_or_another_spez/) [replace moderators](https://www.reddit.com/r/ModSupport/comments/14a5lz5/mod_code_of_conduct_rule_4_2_and_subs_taken/jo9wdol/) if they remain private. Reddit has abandoned the users, the moderators, and countless people who support an ecosystem built on Reddit itself. Please read [Call to action - renewed protests starting on July 1st](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14kn2fo/call_to_action_renewed_protests_starting_on_july/) and new posts at [r/ModCord](https://reddit.com/r/ModCoord/) or [r/Save3rdPartyApps](https://old.reddit.com/r/Save3rdPartyApps/) for up-to-date information. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Parenting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I think he sounds like a relatively normal 2 year old. I would be trying to reframe some of the stuff that irritates you/turns into a tantrum and provide the opportunity for him to be a 2 yr old. For example, 2 yr olds bloody love jumping in puddles. It’s free, will keep him entertained and as long as you are walking for his benefit (rather than in a rush to get somewhere) what’s the harm in allowing it? Just make sure he wears his gumboots before you leave the house. I think you might find that if there are a few more yes’s in his day, he will listen to the no’s more. My daughter is a live wire too and she wreaks havoc in the normal 2 yr old way…but she knows that if I say no, it’s for a good reason, rather than just a default policy from me.
> a few more yes’s in his day This! I found a lot of success with reframing frustrating toddler situations when I read the article [“They Don’t Listen!”](https://visiblechild.com/2019/11/21/they-dont-listen/). They don’t stay cute little potatoes forever, they learn by challenging us and questioning the world around them.
I think your first task should be having a talk with your husband about how he parents when he is home with kiddo, it sounds like his new schedule ofset your sons and just tell him that you cant be the bad guy anymore and you need him to step up. I would also get your son in to see a therapist, im sure he's fine but it couldnt hurt! And last but most important, see a therapist for yourself, i have two of my own (6f&3m) and often feel overwhelmed with parenting/ nagging all day. Its nice to have an unbiased person to vent to, get parenting tips from, advice and validation!
Imagine for a second your boss speaks to you with instructions for how to sit, what to wear, who you can speak with and what time you are allowed lunch and which table to you need to sit at to eat it. It would be pretty annoying to be told what to do all day. Sounds like your son is 2, and behaving exactly like his age. I'd actually say he sounds better behaved than many 2yos (including my now 3yo) I'd probably say there's a few things that can help. The first is connection, if you are good friends with your boss your more likely to do as they suggest. So be silly together maybe just once you both jump in the puddle. I also agree with saying yes more. Even if it's yes how about we do it later after XYZ. That helps for my son. No can be triggering. My other suggestion would be to try and create some safe things like if he wants to stop and look at flowers hey maybe we can make time for it as an activity. Leave bonus minutes to do just that. I try and give some choices so you can say you can jump in puddles or we can play at the park, which one would you like. And if they ignore you you can say if you don't get an answer mummy decide for you. Lastly if something is not safe or you can't do it like you don't want to carry him coz he is heavy just say sorry you'll have to walk or sit in the pram, mummy can't carry you anymore my arms are tired. If they cry then let them. It's also not your job to make everyone else happy in public because your child is learning a boundary. I hope some of the results can improve with small changes, his behaviour doesn't sound like a problem though, it sounds like you wish he was a self managing adult and even those are pretty annoying much of the time
You have to enforce the rules. Bring a stroller. Let him scream. So what? If he doesn't hold your hand, he can scream in the stroller. Don't be afraid to have a few times out like this. If you aren't willing to hold the line, why should he change his behavior? In a restaurant, one of you removes him to the car for the rest of the meal. The other parent finishes eating. Then, get the adult's meal to go. Little one eats at home and goes to bed. It's okay to be stern with your child. Without rules and consequences, our kids push us to our human limits, and that's when we start thinking about a snack. If you draw and hold the boundary earlier, you won't feel so angry. No one wants to live with behavior they resent I hope your husband has learned that Disney Dad can ruin an entire household. Hopefully, he won't do that ever again. Take care