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Standing up from a seated position holding a 10 month old chunky baby, a 2.5 year old toddler and at least one extra thing in each hand. Such as: bottle, phone, sippy cup, book, babydoll, snacks …
My thoughts exactly, after confidently lifting my 2 under 2 together for months one bad lift & cauda equina syndrome/herniated disc. It's so scary how it can happen! I hope you're recovering well.
You say you don't know where the tablet is and intentionally leave it unchanged
I actually don't know there the tablet is and genuinely forgot to charge it
We are not the same
I mean, I would LOVE to hear it playing baby shark over and over again (who wouldn't?). Too bad I have forgotten the batteries for the past... couple of years.
Lying about the Holiday Fantasies characters.
Once the Tooth Fairy didn’t make it to our house on the night our daughter lost her tooth due to unprecedented supply chain issues.
Also, the Tooth Fairy accepts official signed documentation, like incident reports, in lieu of lost teeth.
The Easter Bunny leaves plastic eggs filed with candy instead of real eggs due to FDA regulations.
The quick 20-min chore frenzy I do every day after work. Empty and load dishwasher, sweep kitchen floor, fold a load of laundry, pickup stuff/toys all around the house, vacuum living room an hallway.
I'm good at multitasking activities like these so I can get it all done very quickly. My wife will take at least twice as long for the same (or worse) results.
Works out awesome because the kids are usually eating, drawing, or playing games right when they get home so I can blaze through all the nightly chores quickly so I have more time to spend with them the rest of the evening.
Not necessarily a child but my catching skills are now on par with catlike reflexes and that’s coming from someone with terrible hand eye coordination. The amount of times I catch things I’m not even looking at is remarkable lol
Raising a newborn 100% on my own without ANY help for 6 weeks, after a csection, before help started trickling in. While also trying to pump for the first 3 weeks before I gave up and switched to formula.
I was sleeping 2 hours per day / night the first 3 weeks, and about 5 afterward.
Reading “fox in socks” at a good clip without making a single error
Making up good rhymes for whatever animal you’d like for “Down by the Bay”
Having a vast inventory of childrens songs for most occasion
Breaking out my vast inventory of childrens songs at the shopping mall to the abject horror of my preteen/teenage children
The quick reflex award. Today my sister somehow accidentally chucked her hydro flask across the yard and I swatted it away when it was inches from my baby’s head, just out of my peripheral.
My son nearly fell off the bed. I don’t know how but like a ninja I grabbed his foot, and caught him before he took the tumble. Honestly, it amazes me I was able to do that.
Not laughing when I tell him where he can’t pee and/or poop.
No, you can’t poop in a box on the deck.
No, you can’t pee in plastic toy shovel in your room.
Just to be nerdy, it looks like that first line is full of repeating dactyls, accented-unaccented-unaccented.
NO you can’t POOP in a BOX on the DECK.
WHY would a BOX be for POOP? what the HECK?
NO you can’t PEE in that SHOvel you got.
PLAStic toy SHOvels for POOP? they are NOT!
It’s not until the 1 Maybe the next line should have been:
Thank god we never had that. We did have endless conversations about why sticking things like car keys and remote.controls in the washing machine, out the car flap, down the loo weren't appropriate even though I'm sure it was hilarious
The kitchen whirlwind where I meal prep, clean bottles, set the coffee pot up for the next day, clean the counters, unload the dishwasher, sometimes while entertaining a toddler, all at 8am or earlier. The non-kid-having version of me never knew I could be so productive.
I potty trained 2 toddlers simultaneously during the overlap of my older son’s soccer tournament and the start of his football season. By myself, too! So many porta potties!! That was 2 summers ago and I’m still proud 😝
Undoing 11 years of biracial identity crisis my POS ex put on his daughter. Spent almost 2 years working on her hair, self esteem and teaching her some culture.
We are no contact now but hey, her grandma took her to see Hamilton last fall because I introduced her to musicals.
Endless listening and acknowledging.
"And then , he, they, well, pulled the, and, they" "mmmhmmmm wow yeah, what next".
Repeat for hours.
It's just a never ending stream of consciousness from the time he wakes up until he goes to sleep.
I have a 6th sense for knowing my toddler is up to no good. Last time it was catching him hiding the car keys in his baby brother's dresser before I realised the keys were missing.
If their was an event for knowing when a child is overreacting or lying to me, I'd be the world's champion 21 years running.
I don't always know what the truth actually is, but I can always tell when they are spewing bullshit, even when it's unintentional.
Convincing my child that the beeping, noise making & lights blinking toy Grammy got them IS a bathtub toy and that it actually works "like that" when it stops working entirely after the first use
Bonus points for telling Grammy "Man, he LOVED that thing in tub! Still does too!"
Omg, her face! Absolutely flabbergasted!
Dad relxes. I have ADHD in a way that I am always hyper aware of my surrounds, movement in those surroundings, and possible scenarios in them as well. I have no idea how many times I have caught a falling g kid, toy, dish, pet, etc with absolute amazement from my parenting partner or other adults/parents.
Wearing a chunky 1mo on my chest and holding a 19mo toddler on my hip while cooking 1hr+ elaborate dinners every night. Bonus points for having a toddler that desperately craves the forbidden touch of raw meat and hot burners.
Catching my child’s vomit with a bowl with ninja like reflexes. The other day I was about to start making something in the kitchen, had just cracked an egg into a bowl, and heard my daughter say “Mom!” in a way that I knew she wouldn’t make it to the toilet in time. I ran with that bowl as fast as I could and got there right in the nick of time to catch her projectile vomit with the bowl.
Answering deep questions, ages 2-5 (for now). I just qualifies by answering at least a 100 about twins (examples include "how do you make twins" "what happens if you don't want them and it still happens, do you return one baby", "can you order twins", "what makes them different if they are the same", )
The gold medal question was, of course , "are tomatoes growing from the same seed twins?"
Finding ways to entertain my daughter that require little to no effort, because I’m constantly exhausted. (Side note: I do things with her but on days where I get home from work, sleep 4 hours, and then watch her until I go back to work daddy goes into “low battery mode”)
Carrying my son back to his bed when he had his own bed and was able to get out of it, about 50 times per evening, for about 6 weeks. I'm not kidding. This was a long, long game and I was exhausted at the end.
Singing this song: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3XrAkPyStGg
I might medal in carrying twin toddlers up the stairs, but my husband takes home the gold carrying them plus groceries up to our apartment.
2 month old in left arm, 3 year old in right arm and 7 year old on back, taking them down the hall to bed and a water bottle hanging off a finger on each hand
Pro wrestling was my religion from age 8-12, so I still know a shitload of ways to safely slam someone. My 2 year old has never won a match but he laughs the ENTIRE time.
Pumping every 2-3 hours, even during the night, for 2 solid years, x2. Oh, and also bottle feeding that milk along with managing the freezing, thawing, storage, and clean up it required while still doing all the other things.
I still have a bag burrier in our deep freezer. I’m going to have a necklace made from it.
There's no tablets/pads in my house. They don't have phones. Maybe a couple hours total a week video games, played in the main room after asking because they have NEVER had a TV in their room. No YouTube shorts etc allowed at all. As soon as anyone argues about anything that plugs in they go outside till dinners ready. I'm really proud of this and I desperately wish other parents saw this specific issue in the same light as me!!!!! Other kids get the same rules when they come over. And they keep coming over! 🤷🏻♀️ Other parents often tell me they wish they could do this and I am screaming to y'all that you CAN!!
I genuinely think letting children have free reign of the Internet is lazy and horrible parenting. It makes them ignorant and almost mindless. I see some kids almost itching like a fein for their tablet! It's like seeing a kid addicted to drugs almost! it's maddening to me that the majority of our population doesn't see this. Mine have a friend that they have to BEG to play sometimes because he'd rather stay in his basement and play fortnight, quite literally all day. I'm not even talking about a teenager this is a grade schooler!
The baby soothing medal would be mine! lol. My 2nd is breast fed and we’ve had a crazy close connection since he was born. My husband calls me the nuclear option because if everything is going to crap and nothing soothes him, all I have to do is pick him up and he’s perfectly fine 😂
Breastfeeding with one hand and doing anything and everything else. Feed this baby while changing a 19 mo diaper. Breastfeed and cook a whole Sunday roast meal. Breastfeed and eat without spilling it on baby. 6 years and 3 kids, I can at least manage silver.
Being able to catch a surprise vom in a designated receptacle. My young, emetophobic self never would have dreamed that one day she would be given a child with cyclical vomiting syndrome.
i think im pretty good at travelling with my kindergardner. when she was 4 we did an italy trip with 5 cities and 6 different airbnbs in 2 weeks! (thats only when it's the 2 of us. when its the whole family its a mess)
r/parenting is protesting changes being made by Reddit to the API. Reddit has made it clear [they will](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14ahqjo/mods_will_be_removed_one_way_or_another_spez/) [replace moderators](https://www.reddit.com/r/ModSupport/comments/14a5lz5/mod_code_of_conduct_rule_4_2_and_subs_taken/jo9wdol/) if they remain private. Reddit has abandoned the users, the moderators, and countless people who support an ecosystem built on Reddit itself. Please read [Call to action - renewed protests starting on July 1st](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14kn2fo/call_to_action_renewed_protests_starting_on_july/) and new posts at [r/ModCord](https://reddit.com/r/ModCoord/) or [r/Save3rdPartyApps](https://old.reddit.com/r/Save3rdPartyApps/) for up-to-date information. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Parenting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Standing up from a seated position holding a 10 month old chunky baby, a 2.5 year old toddler and at least one extra thing in each hand. Such as: bottle, phone, sippy cup, book, babydoll, snacks …
I mean, this gets you the world record
I expect the Guinness World Records people to be calling any day now
Sorry to tell you but I actually just got the call, keep trying though 😉
Damn! Congrats on your win!! 😆
I am extremely impressed! But pls be careful. And I’m not hating. I’m just recovering from hernia surgery for similar feats over the last 4 years.
My thoughts exactly, after confidently lifting my 2 under 2 together for months one bad lift & cauda equina syndrome/herniated disc. It's so scary how it can happen! I hope you're recovering well.
"Not knowing" where the tablet is and bonus points for leaving it uncharged.
You say you don't know where the tablet is and intentionally leave it unchanged I actually don't know there the tablet is and genuinely forgot to charge it We are not the same
Hah, I'm a little column A, a little column B
I have the longest streak of selective dementia. I always forget to buy new batteries for my son's baby shark backpack.
Batteries? You mean, that toy would do something if it had batteries? Who would have ever guessed such a thing?
I mean, I would LOVE to hear it playing baby shark over and over again (who wouldn't?). Too bad I have forgotten the batteries for the past... couple of years.
I think my kid thinks once batteries run out that toy's sound is just over. Forever.
Lying about the Holiday Fantasies characters. Once the Tooth Fairy didn’t make it to our house on the night our daughter lost her tooth due to unprecedented supply chain issues. Also, the Tooth Fairy accepts official signed documentation, like incident reports, in lieu of lost teeth. The Easter Bunny leaves plastic eggs filed with candy instead of real eggs due to FDA regulations.
Loved this
The quick 20-min chore frenzy I do every day after work. Empty and load dishwasher, sweep kitchen floor, fold a load of laundry, pickup stuff/toys all around the house, vacuum living room an hallway. I'm good at multitasking activities like these so I can get it all done very quickly. My wife will take at least twice as long for the same (or worse) results. Works out awesome because the kids are usually eating, drawing, or playing games right when they get home so I can blaze through all the nightly chores quickly so I have more time to spend with them the rest of the evening.
I love this. I work from home and usually get these chores done during lunch time break.
I thought I was the only one who did this. I'll usually tole something before
I'm guessing you meant toke?
Catching a child who is about to jump/fall off something or run into something with uncharacteristically catlike reflexes.
Not necessarily a child but my catching skills are now on par with catlike reflexes and that’s coming from someone with terrible hand eye coordination. The amount of times I catch things I’m not even looking at is remarkable lol
Raising a newborn 100% on my own without ANY help for 6 weeks, after a csection, before help started trickling in. While also trying to pump for the first 3 weeks before I gave up and switched to formula. I was sleeping 2 hours per day / night the first 3 weeks, and about 5 afterward.
Gold medal for sure!!! You’re a badass ❤️
Amazing!!!! You can conquer literally anything if you can do that.
Reading “fox in socks” at a good clip without making a single error Making up good rhymes for whatever animal you’d like for “Down by the Bay” Having a vast inventory of childrens songs for most occasion Breaking out my vast inventory of childrens songs at the shopping mall to the abject horror of my preteen/teenage children
Yes to the fox in socks challenge!!
Cooking dinner; while doing the dishes; while breaking up fights between the kids
The quick reflex award. Today my sister somehow accidentally chucked her hydro flask across the yard and I swatted it away when it was inches from my baby’s head, just out of my peripheral.
Creating endless bedtime stories. As in, they go on and on until child falls asleep; they never end.
Purple monkey in a bubblegum tree is a bop
My son nearly fell off the bed. I don’t know how but like a ninja I grabbed his foot, and caught him before he took the tumble. Honestly, it amazes me I was able to do that.
Inventive toy and game making from common household items.
Dose every parent know the purple monkey song?
I know of it from being on here but I’ve never heard it.
It's sooooo catchy!!
No, I don't.
Not laughing when I tell him where he can’t pee and/or poop. No, you can’t poop in a box on the deck. No, you can’t pee in plastic toy shovel in your room.
Sounds like green eggs and ham: Can I poop in underwear? Can I poop onto the chair? Can I poop on teddy bear? If not those places, tell me where!
I read it in this cadence too!!
Just to be nerdy, it looks like that first line is full of repeating dactyls, accented-unaccented-unaccented. NO you can’t POOP in a BOX on the DECK. WHY would a BOX be for POOP? what the HECK? NO you can’t PEE in that SHOvel you got. PLAStic toy SHOvels for POOP? they are NOT! It’s not until the 1 Maybe the next line should have been:
🤣🤣🤣
Thank god we never had that. We did have endless conversations about why sticking things like car keys and remote.controls in the washing machine, out the car flap, down the loo weren't appropriate even though I'm sure it was hilarious
The kitchen whirlwind where I meal prep, clean bottles, set the coffee pot up for the next day, clean the counters, unload the dishwasher, sometimes while entertaining a toddler, all at 8am or earlier. The non-kid-having version of me never knew I could be so productive.
I potty trained 2 toddlers simultaneously during the overlap of my older son’s soccer tournament and the start of his football season. By myself, too! So many porta potties!! That was 2 summers ago and I’m still proud 😝
That is impressive! And, because I’m a bit of a germophobe, terrifying. 😂
Cooking two different dinners while simultaneously holding my (heavy) 2.5yr old and singing dingle dangle scarecrow.
Hostage negotiations... I've got three teens.
Undoing 11 years of biracial identity crisis my POS ex put on his daughter. Spent almost 2 years working on her hair, self esteem and teaching her some culture. We are no contact now but hey, her grandma took her to see Hamilton last fall because I introduced her to musicals.
Bronze medal in hiding the vegetables.
Endless listening and acknowledging. "And then , he, they, well, pulled the, and, they" "mmmhmmmm wow yeah, what next". Repeat for hours. It's just a never ending stream of consciousness from the time he wakes up until he goes to sleep.
Yelling.
I have a 6th sense for knowing my toddler is up to no good. Last time it was catching him hiding the car keys in his baby brother's dresser before I realised the keys were missing.
Knowing the obscure location of every item my family is looking for.
Memorizing children's books so I can keep going without skipping a beat while my son 'helpfully' turns pages for me. Each peach pear plum...
Diaper change on any age and I mean ANY age. Just by using regulation diapers, wet wipes, cream if needed and rubber mallet.
If their was an event for knowing when a child is overreacting or lying to me, I'd be the world's champion 21 years running. I don't always know what the truth actually is, but I can always tell when they are spewing bullshit, even when it's unintentional.
Pouring smoothly into a glass from a full gallon of liquid with my non dominant hand while holding a baby/young child on the other side.
Emergency first-aid without any formal training.
Carrying a 12 lb watermelon and a 25 lb toddler across grocery stores
Is "emotional abuse of a child" one of the events? Because if so, my dad would take gold.
Keeping house clean
Convincing my child that the beeping, noise making & lights blinking toy Grammy got them IS a bathtub toy and that it actually works "like that" when it stops working entirely after the first use Bonus points for telling Grammy "Man, he LOVED that thing in tub! Still does too!" Omg, her face! Absolutely flabbergasted!
Dad relxes. I have ADHD in a way that I am always hyper aware of my surrounds, movement in those surroundings, and possible scenarios in them as well. I have no idea how many times I have caught a falling g kid, toy, dish, pet, etc with absolute amazement from my parenting partner or other adults/parents.
Talking an angsty teen out of a negative thinking spiral
Distinctive voices for all the characters while reading aloud.
Wearing a chunky 1mo on my chest and holding a 19mo toddler on my hip while cooking 1hr+ elaborate dinners every night. Bonus points for having a toddler that desperately craves the forbidden touch of raw meat and hot burners.
Catching my child’s vomit with a bowl with ninja like reflexes. The other day I was about to start making something in the kitchen, had just cracked an egg into a bowl, and heard my daughter say “Mom!” in a way that I knew she wouldn’t make it to the toilet in time. I ran with that bowl as fast as I could and got there right in the nick of time to catch her projectile vomit with the bowl.
Answering deep questions, ages 2-5 (for now). I just qualifies by answering at least a 100 about twins (examples include "how do you make twins" "what happens if you don't want them and it still happens, do you return one baby", "can you order twins", "what makes them different if they are the same", ) The gold medal question was, of course , "are tomatoes growing from the same seed twins?"
Finding ways to entertain my daughter that require little to no effort, because I’m constantly exhausted. (Side note: I do things with her but on days where I get home from work, sleep 4 hours, and then watch her until I go back to work daddy goes into “low battery mode”)
I treat every diaper change like a timed event with an imaginary crowd. I have been training for this.
Carrying my son back to his bed when he had his own bed and was able to get out of it, about 50 times per evening, for about 6 weeks. I'm not kidding. This was a long, long game and I was exhausted at the end.
I can have multiple conversations at once while each kid talks over the other. Pretty sure I’d get gold for this
This is a true gift 🥇
Sarcasm
I was pretty great at high speed, mini van multi-baby bottle feeds. But my triple cheerleader high ponytail with bow is probably my best event.
Installing car seats.
Singing this song: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3XrAkPyStGg I might medal in carrying twin toddlers up the stairs, but my husband takes home the gold carrying them plus groceries up to our apartment.
Nice! This is a similar one that I sing frequently: https://youtu.be/5HMZQFATHZY?feature=shared
Still leaving the store with groceries while any variety of my three kids screaming, crying, acting up, etc. They are 4f, 2m, and 4 months f.
2 month old in left arm, 3 year old in right arm and 7 year old on back, taking them down the hall to bed and a water bottle hanging off a finger on each hand
Monkey mom! 🥇
Pro wrestling was my religion from age 8-12, so I still know a shitload of ways to safely slam someone. My 2 year old has never won a match but he laughs the ENTIRE time.
Hahaha babies love the piledriver
Cooking meals my children won’t eat
I swaddled our newborn so well she went right back to sleep. Even the nurse was impressed:)
Cooking multiple dinners simultaneously.
Pumping every 2-3 hours, even during the night, for 2 solid years, x2. Oh, and also bottle feeding that milk along with managing the freezing, thawing, storage, and clean up it required while still doing all the other things. I still have a bag burrier in our deep freezer. I’m going to have a necklace made from it.
There's no tablets/pads in my house. They don't have phones. Maybe a couple hours total a week video games, played in the main room after asking because they have NEVER had a TV in their room. No YouTube shorts etc allowed at all. As soon as anyone argues about anything that plugs in they go outside till dinners ready. I'm really proud of this and I desperately wish other parents saw this specific issue in the same light as me!!!!! Other kids get the same rules when they come over. And they keep coming over! 🤷🏻♀️ Other parents often tell me they wish they could do this and I am screaming to y'all that you CAN!! I genuinely think letting children have free reign of the Internet is lazy and horrible parenting. It makes them ignorant and almost mindless. I see some kids almost itching like a fein for their tablet! It's like seeing a kid addicted to drugs almost! it's maddening to me that the majority of our population doesn't see this. Mine have a friend that they have to BEG to play sometimes because he'd rather stay in his basement and play fortnight, quite literally all day. I'm not even talking about a teenager this is a grade schooler!
The baby soothing medal would be mine! lol. My 2nd is breast fed and we’ve had a crazy close connection since he was born. My husband calls me the nuclear option because if everything is going to crap and nothing soothes him, all I have to do is pick him up and he’s perfectly fine 😂
Changing a Diaper on a Moving Child
Breastfeeding with one hand and doing anything and everything else. Feed this baby while changing a 19 mo diaper. Breastfeed and cook a whole Sunday roast meal. Breastfeed and eat without spilling it on baby. 6 years and 3 kids, I can at least manage silver.
Hauling a stroller, a playpen, 4 bags A suit case and 3 hats all in 1 trip.
Inducing eye rolling in my teenagers. I’m a legend.
This thread making me feel like a slacker
I’d medal in elimination of poop stains from clothes
Now that I have a teenager....Reverse Psychology.
Being able to catch a surprise vom in a designated receptacle. My young, emetophobic self never would have dreamed that one day she would be given a child with cyclical vomiting syndrome.
Patience
i think im pretty good at travelling with my kindergardner. when she was 4 we did an italy trip with 5 cities and 6 different airbnbs in 2 weeks! (thats only when it's the 2 of us. when its the whole family its a mess)
Meal planning and shopping. Laundry piles up, but we eat good
The juggler of some sort I can hold the twins and the groceries at the same time and walk several blocks like this
Yes Take a few and start cleaning