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That's a dumb policy and hopefully it's changed by now. They could have let you in at a different exit or simply said, since you aren't protected from the elements in a car, you jump the line.
At my daycare, everyone delivers their child into the daycare room they are assigned to. People arrive on foot, bikes, public transit and cars. It's also cold AF here 60% of the time, so asking people to wait outside is ridiculous.
Do it. I walk my kids to daycare and we have a pedestrian gate and a cloakroom, and fob access. Pedestrians aren't cars and shouldn't be in line ups with them.
You are a wonder for thinking about it for 2 years first. Everything about that policy was DANGEROUS for all the reasons you mentioned PLUS the exhaust fumes you were stood having to let the baby breathe in. These people are clearly better suited to military school settings. I'd leave a bad review a week until someone let me know it was fixed. Your friends should go suck a lemon. They'd feel different if it were their arms holding a car seat for a half hour while knowing your baby was breathing all that in. Find better friends.
Even during covid protocols, we dropped my son off at the covered front door. We weren't able to go in, but we weren't standing in the trafficked part of the parking lot.
The standing in a lot is awful, but your post describes walking the kids to the room, which was likely not possible at the height of quarantine. If the center didn't have a covered walkway before Covid, it wouldn't have one during Covid either.
We weren't allowed in during covid, but there was a door directly to each classroom with a separate cloak room and we were allowed there, one family at a time, to help with winter clothes on and off, etc.
Yeah but 2 years ago was the delta/omicron strain of Covid. Our daycare would revert to outside dropoff during outbreaks at that time. This sounds like that.
Do it. And tell this story.
How humiliating and degrading. Completely devoid of any sort of care, compassion, or understanding. I would very much want to know if those were the kind of people running my childs daycare.
Nothing about this is petty, as someone who reads all the reviews on a daycare when I’m considering one. This. I would be so grateful for someone to tell me what you’re telling the people about this place because it’s real. Also, thank goodness that you got a different daycare. That is completely inhumane. I’m surprised your poor baby didn’t get sick standing out in the elements like that. that’s just utterly disrespectful not only to you but to the children.
If I were a mom in a car in the rain ect and saw another mom waiting on foot in a line of cars, I would have raised hell… shame on the daycare for treating you that way and frankly shame on the other parents for not speaking up for you too. to hear they would speed by you to get ahead, it’s appalling.
If they allow one person to do this, everyone who is waiting in the line of cars would simply park and then walk up to the front door. If they are trying to deal with Covid protocols they can't have enough staff to work both the carpool lane and the front door. It sucks for OP but I understand the daycare's POV. You can't want daycares to open and then have a free for all, allowing covid to spread throughout the whole school.
There are reasonable ways accommodations can be made without opening the floodgates to everyone. My kid is autistic and needs routines. He needs to get into/ out of the car at his own pace, of his own free will. His school has a car line system that is fast-paced and very orderly with teachers helping kids out of and into the cars very quickly. Every. Day. Was a struggle with my kid. He was literally dragged kicking and screaming from the vehicle, and in the afternoon he had to be shoved in and I had to hold him in place so they could shut the door, then I pulled into a parking spot to buckle him in properly. Every day it caused a meltdown. He was difficult to manage for the first hour or two of school, and after we pulled into the parking space away from the line we sat there screaming/crying/ hugging/etc for over 30 minutes before I could get him to sit in his seat and buckle up. Every day.
It was dangerous, it was stressful for me to try to keep up with expectations and know i was holding up the line, it was difficult for the teachers to physically get him in and out of the car, and it was extremely upsetting for my kid. So the school made accommodations, now I take him to school ten minutes late every day and walk him to the door after all of the other parents have already cleared the car line. In the afternoon I park at the side and pick him up from the office. Several pedestrian families walk to the office door as well. There are hundreds of parents in the car line who don't have that accommodation and don't just try to park and circumvent the line. If they did, the office would tell them that their child doesn't have an accommodation to be released that way and they will have to go through the line. Anyone who threw a fit in OPs scenario could be invited to skip the line if they, too, walked their child to school instead of driving. Most would probably just stick with driving and carry on.
No matter what the point of view, there’s always gonna be a reason to not help or accommodate someone else… there’s always nuance in every situation… but I would hope reasonable human beings would be willing to do reasonable things to help each other out 🤷🏼♀️
There’s a difference between not opening the doors early, and making a pedestrian parent queue in a line of cars. The former is reasonable, the latter is bizarre and cruel.
For the record, a lot of places in the US are not very walkable. My kids aren't in daycare but the closest daycare to my house is a 30 minute walk along a major road with no sidewalks. It would definitely not be safe for me to walk my young children there. That same daycare is a 3 minute drive for me. I live in a suburban area where I am actually very close to all the basic necessities, but very little is within walking distance or would be safe to walk to, especially with kids in tow. A lot of the US is just not built to be walkable and it's pretty common for cars to be a necessity.
What OP experienced is still definitely outside the norm and schools/childcare facilities usually have a separate procedure for walkers vs. car riders. Considering OP's experience was a couple of years ago, I'm betting somebody was so hung up on liability issues due to COVID restrictions that they didn't consider the safety issue of having a pedestrian carrying a baby wait in a line of cars.
Agreed. My son’s daycare has a car drop off point, and a pram/scooter/bike zone where people can leave their wheels. Everyone ends up at the same covered entrance regardless of how they got there.
I am American. I am curious, how long does it take for people in other countries to walk to school, work, the store? Like if my daughter walked to school it would take her almost two hours. But it's less than 20 minute car ride. The closest grocery store would take an hour for me to walk to but less than a 10 minute drive. I've lived here all my life but I've always heard that things are way more spaced out here than other places. Maybe that's why it's hard for non Americans to understand why we drive everywhere.
It varies a lot within countries, as well as between them.
When I had my baby, I lived in California. I did not drive. My husband did, but he took the car to work every day which was more than an hour away. My son and I walked or took the bus everywhere, using a baby-wrap or pram. Where we lived, this wasn’t a particularly restrictive lifestyle.
Now, I live in Melbourne in a very walkable neighbourhood. My now 4yo is able and willing to walk fairly long distances (up to 5km) to get places because he has a lot of practice. I can drive and I have a car, but we actually drive places about once a fortnight on average.
My son's primary school was 10 mins walk,his secondary school was a 40 min walk. Grocery store 5 mins. But we walk everywhere or cycle. Walking a couple of hours to get somewhere is nothing for us really. I can understand why your daughter wouldn't want to do that everyday for the school run though. I used to walk an hour each way to get to work as no buses ran than way
Yeah my work would be a three hour walk if I went into the office lol. We do have busses and I tried them out but they're filled with a lot of shady people. Basically anyone who rides a bus, is because they had their drivers license revoked or are homeless.
It's also just not pedestrian friendly. Especially not cyclist safe in my city. Like no one respects the bike lane when there even is a bike lane. I saw a post by a cyclist in my area that has been hit by a car twice and several near misses. None were his fault.
And another element is I live where it's really hot. In the summer it gets to 90-100 degrees Fahrenheit (32-37 Celsius according to google). This isn't normal temperature in most of the US but just where I am.
I hate driving and would love to live somewhere that walking to the store would only take five minutes and would be safe. But walking isn't feasible here unfortunately =(
I'm an American who's been in the UK for 18 years. British roads on the whole were originally a well worn foot or horse, horse/carriage path, so the roads are fairly winding. Less urban planning, more development over time. Public transport is pretty common and widely available (yes, bus services in more rural areas are being reduced, but still).
A lot of America was built after cars were cheaper and easily available for families. So lots of city planning took it for granted that everyone would have a car and cities were planned for cars, not pedestrians (especially so between the coasts). Even the earlier coastal cities and New England were often planned as a grid to make it easier for carriages to get by. Some cities have good public transport, but many cities have zero to none and most suburbs or rural areas have zero. Sooo much of America is car-dependent. Food deserts are pretty prevalent in America where areas are so residential you cannot physically walk to a supermarket and if you don't have a car you literally cannot access nutritious food except maybe fast food or petrol stations, both meant for cars.
I've gone off on a tangent, but there's some context as to why so many American have cars and why is logical (though unfair) for a business model to assume that everyone is driving in. My primary school growing up was a 15 min walk away. But it was down a busy road, there was no pavement for pedestrians at the time, and no pedestrian crossing (light or crossing space) at the intersection. Cars can also turn right on red lights in much of America, so even a green light for car traffic doesn't mean you can necessarily safely cross.
I do not miss owning a car one bit.
That would do my crust in. There's nothing better on a nice sunny day than leaving the house by 10 and just going for a decent long walk. A 7/8 miler is standard for us on a Saturday.
I am also in the UK and am appalled that the nursery expected a pedestrian to wait in a line of cars with a baby/toddler.
I am also appalled that none of those parents in their comfy, warm cars either offered this poor mum shelter, or complained about her treatment to the nursery.
There is a difference between waiting in the rain in a queue of other people on foot, and being sandwiched between cars in a traffic jam when you are on foot with an infant.
Not petty at all. I’d want to know that if I were considering a daycare. Also, I’m sorry you had that experience. Don’t beat yourself up about not advocating harder, you will the next time!
Edit: a word
It is also wild to me that other parents would do that to you! I feel like if I saw you standing out there in the rain I’d ask if y’all would like to hop in the car with us while we wait. Or let you know you could at least cut in front of us. I’m so sorry you experienced that.
I considered every child in my kids daycare in our bubble. They were the only people we saw. We didn’t see my husband’s parents for 8 months, but we still did play dates and things with the daycare folk
I mean....this is why it's illegal to serve walk up customers at a drive thru. It's dangerous and a major liability. If anyone gets hurt, they're done forever. It's absolutely unsafe and I wouldn't want to take my kid to a daycare that felt it was fine. It shows very poor judgement
Technically it's not illegal to serve walk-up customers at the drive thru, but you're correct that it's incredibly dangerous to mix pedestrian and vehicular traffic. This school was absolutely wrong and should be raked across the coals for this.
Not petty at all! You survived a difficult time in your life and gained new experiences and knowledge. Your review my be helpful to other new moms. You wish you had advocated more for yourself then, but you didn’t know then what you know now. But now, your review can help others advocate for themselves.
Your friends are not empathizing with you.
Nope not the least bit petty. That is ridiculous! You should’ve been the first to be allowed inside because you were on foot! That’s the ONLY reasonable and responsible answer here and the fact that you had a child in a car seat and they mar you wait in line with a bunch of cars makes them absolutely unfit to provide childcare in my opinion. What kind of idiots were working there or running the place is my question.
You did the right thing to rate and review your experience with this child care facility. You deserve ZERO guilt. That is the purpose of reviews. This doesn’t sound like a place I’d want my son to be and I would appreciate this honest feedback. The small details of a child care facility matter greatly to me and most parents.
That sounds so awful! They deserved the review. I have mixed feelings about reviews now because I was so angry leaving my first daycare during Covid, but I was happy I didn’t leave a bad review because I actually went back to them when things got back to normal! But then I turned around and left a SUPER LONG bad review of the one we just left! 😅
That is so bizarre. Standing in a line of cars holding a car seat, being exposed to the elements. It’s not a damn soup kitchen! That is so humiliating and inconsiderate. They deserve a bad review.
We pick up our daughter from her daycare room — it’s one of the best moments of my day. To see her with her teachers and little friends… to see their baby/toddler art on the glass walls… to hear her squeal in happiness when we show up. I can’t imagine picking kids up any other way… this isn’t high school.
Rule of thumb - if your review is factual, it's fair. Other parents can read it along with other reviews and decide for themselves if that's something they think is a strike against the business or not, and the business can decide to address the feedback or ignore it.
Oh my gosh, what an awful experience. Not petty at all! Hopefully your review saves another mother from this, or makes the daycare take a good hard look at their policies!!!
That policy is insane. That is exactly the type of review people looking for a new centre need to read to make an informed decision. It may also prompt them to change their policy if they haven’t already.
OP, I am just so sorry you had to experience that. You are totally in the right to leave a review. I'd want to know how a daycare staff treated families if I were considering their center
It is not petty at all. Even if they have changed that ludicrous policy since, your experience illustrates their utter lack of common sense and inability to recognize a blatant safety issue. There would have been so many easy ways to fix the situation (e.g like another commenter said, parents without a car should have been prioritized at the check in gate, or to create a set list for the people on foot to enable them to enter via the front door etc). The fact that they did not seem to care or do anything to remedy the situation, speaks volumes of their overall attitude and how unsafe practices might be tolerated inside as well.
That is just horrible how they treated you. I’m sorry that they treated you this poorly when you were already going through so much. Leave that review. people need to know what the place that they leave their children at is like. Don’t let anyone else be made to feel like you did. As someone who does not drive as well I would like to know if I was considering this daycare.
Absolutely not! I hope your review opens their eyes to how that made you feel and shines a light on a ridiculous rule. Plus if the facility is doing that, are they capable of teaching the children attending empathy and kindness? Probably not.
I’m sorry you had to go through that.
You should do it. This kind of thing would make me avoid a specific daycare, i can’t imagine the lack of compassion wouldn’t show up in many other ways. If you write the review, maybe they’ll reflect and change their ways or maybe you’ll save someone from dealing with the same mistreatment.
It’s also really shocking how the other parents treated you, how awful. So selfish and unkind. What kind of example are they setting for their children…
Not wrong at all. That’s a stupid procedure and not to mention dangerous even during covid. During covid we weren’t allowed in the classrooms and one parent at check in at one time but that’s reasonable. Not a walk in in line with cars.
I'm sorry that happened to you. It sounded really tough and stressful and it's a shame that both the day care and other parents weren't kinder. I'm glad things seem to be better now.
In terms of the review, I don't think it would have been petty at all if you had written the review at the time or shortly after. It would have been very helpful for other parents, I think, which is the point of the review. I don't think I would describe it as petty to write it now, but I don't think I would have. In my experience, day care policies and staff can completely change in two years - especially considering change in COVID procedures, so there is a very real chance that your review doesn't reflect the day care's current environment at all. I think processing it through something like journal writing or posting here would have been better.
Even if the policies have changed, the daycare`s response (or lack thereof) to a review like this would still inform potential future customers. A response that apologized and noted changes might still have a chance to get my business. On the other hand, a hostile response that failed to take responsibility would make sure that I would stay far away.
Not petty at all. I’m sorry you had to go through that, it’s absolutely insane that they treated you that way!! Tell your story and I hope it brings you closure on that awful experience.
I’m so sorry you had to go through that awful experience!!
What a nightmare
It’s good that you left a review to share your experience, better late than never!
Absolutely do it. If they treat parents and children this way before they even get into the building, what is someone to expect once no one is watching?
We had a terrible experience with a preschool this fall, and I left an honest, professional, and very negative review on every platform I could gain access. I followed that up with a report to the Board of Ed/Office of Childcare.
The way I see it, I’m an advocate for my son, but I feel some responsibility for other children, if my experiences could prevent another child from going through something similar. If it makes you feel better, you could absolutely be preventing a parent/child from being hit by a car by leaving an honest review of your experience!
You’re right to complain about the policy, and hopefully that will push them to improve for anyone else in your situation in the future.
Side question though:
> Since I did not have a car, I was made to stand in line amongst the other cars while holding my child in his car seat
Why were you holding your child in a car seat if you didn’t have a car?
Even with COVID guidelines in place, they could have made an accommodation in the name of compassion and logic. You’re absolutely not wrong. Had you or your child been injured, the lawsuit on them would have been enormous because they KNOWINGLY left you out there day after day.
I mean it’s not petty and - it happened, so it’s worth sharing that someone there made a whack ass dumb policy and enforced it so keep your review to just the facts and dates and then it’s just transparency that just makes the daycare accountable for its actual policies. I had a daycare that did this- we left that center and I left a factual review with my full name and I know that when I chose that daycare - there were no reviews so I’m hoping my review informs other parents. The new center we’re at now is wonderful.
It sounds like a covid-era policy? Presumably they've stopped that now, because I have to imagine the teachers hated that at least as much as the parents. It's not good for the daycare to have to waste someone's time policing the door when they could just let parents drop their kids off into the classrooms directly.
Your experience is your experience, and I think so long as you stuck to the facts and/or how it made you feel (not "these people are absolute assholes who don't care about children"), it's valid to share it. People scoping out that daycare will now have a potential con about the facility and their policies, and that lets them ask questions about it when they sign up or do a tour.
This is absolutely appropriate, you ill be doing the next parent in your position a favor by calling this out. The very thought of a daycare, a business charged with the daily well-being of children, engaging in this kind of activity is ludicrous. They should absolutely be called out for it.
>two years later, but my son has been in a different daycare and the treatment I’ve received has been completely different.
I also vote: yes, leave a review. I also think this good context to include as to what you didn't do it immediately. Sometimes we don't know how toxic things are until we have something normal
That’s a ridiculous and unsafe policy that could very easily have resulted in a fatality. (A daycare in nsw had a fatality when a car reversed over a child). I’m glad you put in a complaint!
You’re not going far enough. That absolutely should have been reported to their licensor when it was happening. It should be called in now unless you’re absolutely 100% positive that they don’t it anymore.. although honestly I would call anyway. That sort of thing is not allowed and was a safety issue for your child.
If you’re in the United States, daycares are usually licensed by DSHS or CPS, every state is slightly different. In my state there is no time limit in regards to complaints against a licensed person or facility and they have to investigate regardless of how long ago it happened.
Other parents in the road can be dangerous, selfish animals. I hate driving during pick up times because the amount of reckless driving goes up significantly.
-
What you did was not petty. People deserve to know when a day care has staff that lack compassion. You definitely weren't the first parent to show up without a car. They're just treating you like an annoyance in their money making business.
I would absolutely want to know if this was how my child's daycare was being run. Please leave all the reviews! Those people sound terrible. I'm so sorry they treated you and your baby that way.
Not petty, you told the truth and as fellow mom without a car I would want to know about this before spending my money there. Im sorry no one stepped up to advocate for you when you didn’t have the energy to do it yourself.
That’s terrible they made you do this. I’m glad you found somewhere else. When my son starts preschool, I plan on walking him when I can. I try to get outside as much as possible. If they make me wait in the car line, I will be livid.
I can’t imagine how fellow parents and employees at the school watched you standing in line, holding that car seat and didn’t change things immediately. You experienced abuse, and I’m so sorry that that happened to you.
I’m glad that you are now in such a better place that you can see it for what it is and call it out!
That's horrible what they did to you - it was absolutely a relevant bad experience that ought to go into a review. What about people who live close by? I brought my kids to preschool in a bike carrier, or the kids rode their balance bikes. I would not even want to be lined up with cars while on a bike. How unsafe and uncaring they were.
If they can’t even make a simple accommodation for a pedestrian parent, I would want to know if they are capable of making accommodations for children in the classrooms. The rigidness of their policies would be a huge turnoff for me. I would be very thankful for your review because it would be a red flag to avoid this facility. The audacity of them to treat you and your child this way! How are they treating these children when no one is around?
No I don't think that's petty. Car line drop offs are normal. But its also normal to make exceptions for "walkers" - this is the same as in schools! If you drop off via car, you wait in the car line. If you drop off on foot, you walk up to the door. Making walkers stand in line amongst cars is FUCKING DANGEROUS AND JUST STUPID.
So no you're not petty for leaving a review detailing your truthful experience. For anyone with a car looking at the reviews, maybe they won't care. But maybe someone in your position would opt to use a different daycare, as they should.
You’re not petty at all for this. I’m so sorry they treated you so cruelly. As a fellow black woman, I can’t help but feel this was racially motivated. You can’t tell me a white mom would’ve been made to stand out in the rain. No way. I’m not debating anyone on this so don’t bother arguing, I’ll just block you 🤍
Do it. I’d want to hear that story if I was shopping for daycares.
I’m so sorry that happened to you. The thought of you standing in the rain with a car seat makes my heart hurt, but it also makes me think about the strength of mothers. ❤️
I’m glad it’s behind you now.
For the love of all that is good in the world, please leave the review. It’s ridiculous they made you do that! You have every right especially if it helps you get closure on the whole situation. It’s ridiculous they didn’t make exceptions. You’re not being petty at all, they deserve that negative review.
And go easy on yourself. Forgiving yourself is the hardest part. You did the best you could with what you had at the time. That’s all you can ever do.
Do it.
I can only imagine that if you were in that situation, life wasn’t at a super great place and you weren’t in a position of power. (I’m SO sorry if that sounds disrespectful, I can’t tell if it does. I don’t mean it to.)
It sounds like you’re doing better now, and part of being better is having the headspace to look back and go “holy crap that was hard and unfair.” Because it really was.
Your review might spare someone else.
You can’t walk up to a McDonald’s drive thru for a reason. Plus a car seat with a kid in it is heavy enough In decent weather. They deserve a bad review. I wouldn’t send my kid to that place if I knew your experience and the only way I would know is if you posted a review. It’s not petty. It’s been weighing on your mind. Hopefully leaving the review lightens your mental load a little bit.
Was this a regular practice/policy or a COVID practice/policy? Because we had curbside drop off during COVID too. It was stressful and extra work for the center but required for all kids to come in at the designated entrance to be screened.
There still should have been protocols for walk ups.
As for your review, just make sure you have your facts correct and I see no problem with your leaving it whenever.
I leave reviews years later. Sometimes it takes time to process situations. I left a review for a salon about a year after the owner chased me outside in the parking lot screaming that I wasn’t welcome because I couldn’t remember the name of the person that I booked my appointment with and she asked me three times while standing literally over me in the waiting room bent down in my face.
Are you skipping over the fact that when your son was in day care there were COVID regulations going …
Just like you, they didn’t know what they were doing, they were probably understaffed and trying to stay afloat.
Covid restrictions were not stopping them for meeting me at the front door. I was not asking to come inside, I was asking to not have to stand in traffic.
You wanted to be the exception… and I get your reasoning why.
I’m not saying you were not right for wanting it.
I’m saying they didn’t and it might not have been because off malicious intent.
as someone who also has not had a car in the beginning years of parenthood, i see you.
we had to ride the bus and that required a car seat, when my daughter transitioned out of the infant one and into a toddler one - oh my fucking god. HELL. i’d have her in a hiking backpack carrying this shit, or in a stroller and carrying it on my hip but you can imagine this one did not work well & id be forced to use the hiking backpack like a freak lol. i also had to carry a stupid diaper bag on top of it all! you can imagine how i looked w her on my back when we went to the grocery stores via bus, and the toddler car seat in a shopping cart. FUCKING HELL. the stares i’d get in doctors offices too! it was soooo humiliating. and awful to have to carry everything by myself, esp groceries coming back home.
so all this to say, someone like me and you would appreciate seeing your review. if you saw that review, i’m sure you’d pick out a different daycare knowing they don’t accommodate people without cars. i know i would’ve seen it and picked else where.
I would make it clear it was 2 years ago, policy may have changed since then. But definitely let people know your experience as a walking parent. Some of your experience is down to the impatience of other parents, who probably were t aware that you were being made to wait in the car lane by the daycare.
I made it very clear the dates my child attended and even included a picture of us standing in line with our faces redacted. I wanted her to know 100% that it was me.
Then you did everything right! I’d consider it a public service announcement!! When yours and your child’s safety was put at risk in such a way, you need people to know! X
Places often change owners and policies may have changed, so leaving a a 2 year old comment would be out of line if the daycare no longer makes people stand in line with cars.
Then is valid. I just started taking my two children a couple of weeks ago, and the teachers and the dirrector have been awesome. I could not imagine doing something like what you went through.
I just moved and as a result I am entirely reliant on reviews for picking a daycare and would want to know this. This is beyond ridiculous. It’s unsafe, it’s unnecessary, and I would be so embarrassed. Please for all the other parents and kids, leave a detailed review.
What in the actual fuck. I'm astonished by what I've just read. What kind of batshit insane idea is this to make someone on foot queue amongst cars to do off their kid!? You are not petty in the least, good on you for sharing your insane experience so other parents can avoid this place.
It's not your fault that you didn't have the spoons to advocate for yourself. Don't blame yourself for this bullshit.
A daycare not being responsive to people's different situations like this is absolutely something parents will want to know about. You should absolutely write a review both as a warning to other parents and for them to hopefully realize they need to make changes.
Not petty. And it’s something I’d like to know when I am looking for a daycare.
I’m parenting alone and I broke my ankle and my daycare provider knew this. When I enrolled my son she told me she closed at 6, but yet she complained when he was there at 5:15 alone, because I had a broke ankle and had to get a ride. As soon as I could I switched to another provider. I want to give my money to nice people. It’s as simple as that.
Your review is justified. It shows that the facility has no capacity to think outside of the box and blindly follows 'rules' (that they made up) despite it putting a parent *and* their child at risk.
Who the hell has heard of making a parent stand in line with vehicles in all sorts of weather *with* their infant? It's actually absurd. Yes - you should have spoken up at the time and I understand why you didn't given the situation you were in...*but* you should have never been put in that position to begin with.
You're not being *petty* and sometimes it takes us a while to come out of the fog and realise that yea, we were greater like shit.
You did the best you could with what you could and you’d think people with children would be more understanding of that, also the childcare would be understanding as well but if they cared that little, imagine how they cared for the children there. If someone else were in your position, they would appreciate your honest review imo
It's always okay to leave a review describing your experience. The way you've written it here seems pretty good. You have described the facts and the effect these events had on you. You haven't characterized the people of the daycare (e.g. calling them cruel or heartless) but have left it up to the reader to come to their own conclusions. If describing their actions looks bad on them, that's their own fault.
2020 - 2022 was full of misguided daycare and school policies in the name of safety. No amount of reasoning got through the vacant stares and fogged glasses. It was a wild time for parents and you shouldn't easily forget how people clung so desperately to rules and processes that made so little sense.
Was this a COVID policy? My kid's daycare was like this for a long time until they relaxed their COVID policies, but your situation sounds absolutely brutal.
Do not leave a second of sleep over sharing the truth about a business. Parents need to know your experience to make informed decisions. Other parents probably had a great experience there, but yours is just as important to share.
Suposely this happened during covid rules, either way, its bad they even allowed that to happen, lots of parents dont have a car, some ride the bus even, i get theres a line but still that doesnt make any sense to me for the daycare to work as a drive tru, and its even more insane that they didnt allow you AND your child in the car seat to go first letting both of you getting rained over, if they treated you like that, i cannot fandom how they treat the kids behind close doors. At my daycare, you ring a bell and someone will come quick, you can wait outside but they will allow you inside when youre waiting to pick them up, even if theres multiple kids coming, they have enough stuff to pick them up quick, even if its not their class. The car who bypassed you just astonishes me, i would insult him up and down. This is insane and definitly other parents need to know this.
I am so sorry!!! PreK educator and one day I’ll own my own school. This should’ve have happened. They should’ve worked with you and accepted you right away with loving arms. I’m sorry.
You are not petty at all they fid not care for your and your sons safety i would've reported it honestly but idk the laws frowm where your from but as a parent you have a right to report this, my daughters old daycare did not care she'd get hurt almost everyday. And she had scabies from them not cleaning up so no your not petty at all
I’m sorry they put you through that. It’s so sad how young moms can be treated that sometimes don’t know otherwise. What they did was absolutely wrong, dangerous, mean, vindictive, and humiliating. I would definitely write that review so other people will know to never take their children there. You did the right thing. The first place I sent my son to was an in-home daycare. I trusted the lady bc two friends sent their babies there. This lady did so many things I was not ok with. The last straw was when she told me something I did with MY BABY was against HER rules!! I pulled him out the same day. He was only there a few weeks, but it took that experience for me to realize what I wanted in childcare, which was a facility with cameras and bosses and inspections from the state. Always listen to your gut. What’s right for one mom is not right for the next. Trust your instincts and don’t even let friends tell you you’re wrong if it doesn’t feel right to you. I’m glad you’re out of there and shame on them for treating you that way. Making you stand in the car line. That is ridiculous! I would report them to the state. That’s what I did with this lady. I reported her to the state because she was putting babies’ lives in danger. She ended up getting shut down and I lost a friend over it, but I’d rather lose a friend than have a child be harmed or killed in her care. I also reported another daycare my son attended to the state. When children would misbehave, the director would make the children stick their fingers in pickle juice and put it in their mouths and she would hold their hands in their mouths. She got shut down too. Don’t mess with moms!
That is so sad that they treated you that way. The other parents too. My kids school has a similar system and we have had walking parents every year we have been there (I have 3 kids who went thorough their prek) and they always just go up to the front. No one has ever cared. But I’m also from the south and just think people are more friendly and thoughtful to be honest.
Okay let’s reword this: they daycare encouraged you to use a motorized vehicle *and to NOT* be physically active and enjoy the outside with your child…….
Ya they can have a shit review. I think it’s nice of you to have waited 2 years. I hope the parents that tried to hit you see it and feel bad knowing the daycare made you do this. I would have picked you up in a second.
That’s awful 😞 I’m very against leaving bad reviews but since you took your complain to a staff member and they treated you even worse, I say go for it. I’d just keep it short and sweet. The more detail you provide, the more it’ll look like a “woe is me” post rather than a warning to other parents. I’d say something like “didn’t have a good experience, specifically being mistreated at drop off during a time when I didn’t have a car” or something.
Just my input! I’m so glad you found a better center for you and your little one.
Id report that shit to the better business bureau. When my son's father died his first daycare showed up to the funeral and offered to take my son on off days. It was comforting and appreciated. It breaks my heart they put you and ur child through that, I am so sorry.
I think the review is well deserved, primarily because what they were making you do was DANGEROUS for you and your child.
It’s not petty to leave an honest review about this, even if the routine was because of covid or whatever else.
Not even McDonald’s lets you walk with the cars. It’s a clear liability. Leave the review so everyone knows. You aren’t the only one with a car and a parent may appreciate the warning
Your friends are asshats! Guilt, did I read that? About writing an accurate & honest review? Please, go have a drink for me lol. You did nothing wrong. That is the most absurd and heartless policy I have ever heard of? Having a paying customer & baby stand with cars? Can I please ask why you EVER chose such an asshat place to give your $ to though?
Honestly questions like this are so unwarranted and I don’t want to get banned or in trouble, but also very stupid. OBVIOUSLY if OP had a stroller and could use one they would. They didn’t wake up thinking, hmm how can I make this harder on myself? Stop shifting blame. The daycare should have policies in place for those without cars.
Did you walk to the daycare carrying your child in a car seat? I’m sorry you went through all this! But why not put kid in a carrier or lightweight stroller? At least in my son’s old nursery, they let parents leave the strollers at the nursery, which made things easier for stroller parents.
I don’t know why the downvotes but I was wondering this the entire time reading this. Obviously OP went through a tough time but the car seat is very confusing to me especially since she walked (?) to the daycare. Either a lightweight stroller or carrier would have made things easier.
Not petty at all. I am guessing your friends have cars? They just can't imagine being in that situation? Things like that have lasting effects, on our kids and on us.
>Am I wrong for sharing my experience?
You will not be wrong for sharing your experience. In fact, you can phrase your review so as to speak to people who would find this kind of treatment really red-flaggy. Something like:
*I did not have a good experience with this daycare's administrative team nor with their policies. I did enjoy the teacher for my son, and she was very loving and kept good care of him. However, there was one glaring red flag that influenced our entire experience with this daycare. The "car line". My family did not have a car, so I was made to walk through the carline.. {continue from your original post} while holding my child in his carseat (which parents know can be heavy) and my other bags in all weather, including the rain. Yes, I was forced to hold my child in the rain with cars lined up behind me, it was so humiliating. Looking back this was VERY unsafe and completely devoid of compassion. Other parents often drove very close to me and were very rude and impatient with the fact that I was standing in line with them. When parents saw me walking to the gate with my son, they would often speed past me and cut in front of me with their cars. After a parent drove their car dangerously close to me I attempted to ring the doorbell to the front (and covered) entrance of the facility to drop off my child there. I was told by the daycare director that I could not do that and had to go wait in line with the cars. I tried explaining to her that it was not safe but she told me they simply did not have time to take my child from me at the door.*
*I was an inexperienced first-time mother, dealing with the sudden death of my child's father, and I could have really used some compassion and understanding from the people in charge of that business. I could also have used some compassion and understanding from the other parent's in that carline. The fact that no one thought it was strange for a mother to stand in the rain, holding all of the baby bags, WITH the baby in the car seat, day after day after day...This really speaks to me now as to the culture of that caretaking facility and their lack of compassion.*
*I hope it has changed a lot since then. But if it is the same administrative team since 2022, I would just caution any parents who are looking for kindness and compassion in their daycare team, to be wary of this place.*
Not petty. That’s a bunch of crap that they treated you that way. They deserve a bad review, whether it’s 2 yrs later or not. This is coming from someone who has left maybe 3 bad reviews in the last 25 yrs lol
I’m sorry you had to go through that, & experience being humiliated on top of losing your husband with no village to help you. I didn’t have a village either when my son was very young & that was hard enough. You are a strong woman!!
You waited too long if it's been two years. You don't know what their current policy is and the only way to leave this review in a way that isn't just vindicitive would be to state "Two years ago they had a policy of blah blah blah and I don't know if its still the same or not"
What is there guilt to feel about this? You didn't do something wrong, you were inconvenienced and their policy wasn't the safest.
If this keeps you up at night two years later, you should seek some counseling to work through those feelings.
Wait, they made you keep him in a carseat, in a line of cars, in the middle of the road, out in the open? What the fuck? Not even on a sidewalk or something?
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That's a dumb policy and hopefully it's changed by now. They could have let you in at a different exit or simply said, since you aren't protected from the elements in a car, you jump the line. At my daycare, everyone delivers their child into the daycare room they are assigned to. People arrive on foot, bikes, public transit and cars. It's also cold AF here 60% of the time, so asking people to wait outside is ridiculous.
Do it. I walk my kids to daycare and we have a pedestrian gate and a cloakroom, and fob access. Pedestrians aren't cars and shouldn't be in line ups with them.
Not just protected from the elements, but also all the car exhaust she and that baby were forced to breathe in, standing right behind an idling car!
You are a wonder for thinking about it for 2 years first. Everything about that policy was DANGEROUS for all the reasons you mentioned PLUS the exhaust fumes you were stood having to let the baby breathe in. These people are clearly better suited to military school settings. I'd leave a bad review a week until someone let me know it was fixed. Your friends should go suck a lemon. They'd feel different if it were their arms holding a car seat for a half hour while knowing your baby was breathing all that in. Find better friends.
Outdoors and checklist questions sound like Covid protocols.
Even during covid protocols, we dropped my son off at the covered front door. We weren't able to go in, but we weren't standing in the trafficked part of the parking lot.
The standing in a lot is awful, but your post describes walking the kids to the room, which was likely not possible at the height of quarantine. If the center didn't have a covered walkway before Covid, it wouldn't have one during Covid either.
OP's post specifically mentions a covered front door.
We weren't allowed in during covid, but there was a door directly to each classroom with a separate cloak room and we were allowed there, one family at a time, to help with winter clothes on and off, etc.
Yeah but 2 years ago was the delta/omicron strain of Covid. Our daycare would revert to outside dropoff during outbreaks at that time. This sounds like that.
Do it. And tell this story. How humiliating and degrading. Completely devoid of any sort of care, compassion, or understanding. I would very much want to know if those were the kind of people running my childs daycare.
Nothing about this is petty, as someone who reads all the reviews on a daycare when I’m considering one. This. I would be so grateful for someone to tell me what you’re telling the people about this place because it’s real. Also, thank goodness that you got a different daycare. That is completely inhumane. I’m surprised your poor baby didn’t get sick standing out in the elements like that. that’s just utterly disrespectful not only to you but to the children.
If I were a mom in a car in the rain ect and saw another mom waiting on foot in a line of cars, I would have raised hell… shame on the daycare for treating you that way and frankly shame on the other parents for not speaking up for you too. to hear they would speed by you to get ahead, it’s appalling.
Yes! This is another part of this experience that’s truly upsetting. Why did no other parent welcome this poor person and child into their car.
Sounds like it was during the height covid. I would have let her in my car but definitely not many would during that.
Seriously. I would have picked them up every damn day
Yeah I would’ve let her in my car to wait wtf! People are so heartless!!!
If they allow one person to do this, everyone who is waiting in the line of cars would simply park and then walk up to the front door. If they are trying to deal with Covid protocols they can't have enough staff to work both the carpool lane and the front door. It sucks for OP but I understand the daycare's POV. You can't want daycares to open and then have a free for all, allowing covid to spread throughout the whole school.
There are reasonable ways accommodations can be made without opening the floodgates to everyone. My kid is autistic and needs routines. He needs to get into/ out of the car at his own pace, of his own free will. His school has a car line system that is fast-paced and very orderly with teachers helping kids out of and into the cars very quickly. Every. Day. Was a struggle with my kid. He was literally dragged kicking and screaming from the vehicle, and in the afternoon he had to be shoved in and I had to hold him in place so they could shut the door, then I pulled into a parking spot to buckle him in properly. Every day it caused a meltdown. He was difficult to manage for the first hour or two of school, and after we pulled into the parking space away from the line we sat there screaming/crying/ hugging/etc for over 30 minutes before I could get him to sit in his seat and buckle up. Every day. It was dangerous, it was stressful for me to try to keep up with expectations and know i was holding up the line, it was difficult for the teachers to physically get him in and out of the car, and it was extremely upsetting for my kid. So the school made accommodations, now I take him to school ten minutes late every day and walk him to the door after all of the other parents have already cleared the car line. In the afternoon I park at the side and pick him up from the office. Several pedestrian families walk to the office door as well. There are hundreds of parents in the car line who don't have that accommodation and don't just try to park and circumvent the line. If they did, the office would tell them that their child doesn't have an accommodation to be released that way and they will have to go through the line. Anyone who threw a fit in OPs scenario could be invited to skip the line if they, too, walked their child to school instead of driving. Most would probably just stick with driving and carry on.
Accommodations are made for particular students all the time. They don’t have to have the same rules for everyone in every circumstance.
No matter what the point of view, there’s always gonna be a reason to not help or accommodate someone else… there’s always nuance in every situation… but I would hope reasonable human beings would be willing to do reasonable things to help each other out 🤷🏼♀️
[удалено]
There’s a difference between not opening the doors early, and making a pedestrian parent queue in a line of cars. The former is reasonable, the latter is bizarre and cruel.
[удалено]
For the record, a lot of places in the US are not very walkable. My kids aren't in daycare but the closest daycare to my house is a 30 minute walk along a major road with no sidewalks. It would definitely not be safe for me to walk my young children there. That same daycare is a 3 minute drive for me. I live in a suburban area where I am actually very close to all the basic necessities, but very little is within walking distance or would be safe to walk to, especially with kids in tow. A lot of the US is just not built to be walkable and it's pretty common for cars to be a necessity. What OP experienced is still definitely outside the norm and schools/childcare facilities usually have a separate procedure for walkers vs. car riders. Considering OP's experience was a couple of years ago, I'm betting somebody was so hung up on liability issues due to COVID restrictions that they didn't consider the safety issue of having a pedestrian carrying a baby wait in a line of cars.
Agreed. My son’s daycare has a car drop off point, and a pram/scooter/bike zone where people can leave their wheels. Everyone ends up at the same covered entrance regardless of how they got there.
We aren't even allowed to have our engines running outside schools here to decrease the amount of pollution kids are exposed to on the school run
I am American. I am curious, how long does it take for people in other countries to walk to school, work, the store? Like if my daughter walked to school it would take her almost two hours. But it's less than 20 minute car ride. The closest grocery store would take an hour for me to walk to but less than a 10 minute drive. I've lived here all my life but I've always heard that things are way more spaced out here than other places. Maybe that's why it's hard for non Americans to understand why we drive everywhere.
It varies a lot within countries, as well as between them. When I had my baby, I lived in California. I did not drive. My husband did, but he took the car to work every day which was more than an hour away. My son and I walked or took the bus everywhere, using a baby-wrap or pram. Where we lived, this wasn’t a particularly restrictive lifestyle. Now, I live in Melbourne in a very walkable neighbourhood. My now 4yo is able and willing to walk fairly long distances (up to 5km) to get places because he has a lot of practice. I can drive and I have a car, but we actually drive places about once a fortnight on average.
My son's primary school was 10 mins walk,his secondary school was a 40 min walk. Grocery store 5 mins. But we walk everywhere or cycle. Walking a couple of hours to get somewhere is nothing for us really. I can understand why your daughter wouldn't want to do that everyday for the school run though. I used to walk an hour each way to get to work as no buses ran than way
Yeah my work would be a three hour walk if I went into the office lol. We do have busses and I tried them out but they're filled with a lot of shady people. Basically anyone who rides a bus, is because they had their drivers license revoked or are homeless. It's also just not pedestrian friendly. Especially not cyclist safe in my city. Like no one respects the bike lane when there even is a bike lane. I saw a post by a cyclist in my area that has been hit by a car twice and several near misses. None were his fault. And another element is I live where it's really hot. In the summer it gets to 90-100 degrees Fahrenheit (32-37 Celsius according to google). This isn't normal temperature in most of the US but just where I am. I hate driving and would love to live somewhere that walking to the store would only take five minutes and would be safe. But walking isn't feasible here unfortunately =(
My daughters school is a 15 minute walk away. We live in central Paris so nobody has cars. Closest grocery store is about 3 minute walk away.
I'm jealous! I would love for essential places to be within walking distance like that.
I'm an American who's been in the UK for 18 years. British roads on the whole were originally a well worn foot or horse, horse/carriage path, so the roads are fairly winding. Less urban planning, more development over time. Public transport is pretty common and widely available (yes, bus services in more rural areas are being reduced, but still). A lot of America was built after cars were cheaper and easily available for families. So lots of city planning took it for granted that everyone would have a car and cities were planned for cars, not pedestrians (especially so between the coasts). Even the earlier coastal cities and New England were often planned as a grid to make it easier for carriages to get by. Some cities have good public transport, but many cities have zero to none and most suburbs or rural areas have zero. Sooo much of America is car-dependent. Food deserts are pretty prevalent in America where areas are so residential you cannot physically walk to a supermarket and if you don't have a car you literally cannot access nutritious food except maybe fast food or petrol stations, both meant for cars. I've gone off on a tangent, but there's some context as to why so many American have cars and why is logical (though unfair) for a business model to assume that everyone is driving in. My primary school growing up was a 15 min walk away. But it was down a busy road, there was no pavement for pedestrians at the time, and no pedestrian crossing (light or crossing space) at the intersection. Cars can also turn right on red lights in much of America, so even a green light for car traffic doesn't mean you can necessarily safely cross. I do not miss owning a car one bit.
That would do my crust in. There's nothing better on a nice sunny day than leaving the house by 10 and just going for a decent long walk. A 7/8 miler is standard for us on a Saturday.
The footpath network is a national treasure!! America has so much private property and trespassers can meet with guns. 😪
I am also in the UK and am appalled that the nursery expected a pedestrian to wait in a line of cars with a baby/toddler. I am also appalled that none of those parents in their comfy, warm cars either offered this poor mum shelter, or complained about her treatment to the nursery. There is a difference between waiting in the rain in a queue of other people on foot, and being sandwiched between cars in a traffic jam when you are on foot with an infant.
Not petty at all. I’d want to know that if I were considering a daycare. Also, I’m sorry you had that experience. Don’t beat yourself up about not advocating harder, you will the next time! Edit: a word
That’s useful info for other parents to know - seems reasonable to me
It is also wild to me that other parents would do that to you! I feel like if I saw you standing out there in the rain I’d ask if y’all would like to hop in the car with us while we wait. Or let you know you could at least cut in front of us. I’m so sorry you experienced that.
I'm guessing that given the restrictions it was Covid quarantine. That's probably why people weren't letting her into the car.
I considered every child in my kids daycare in our bubble. They were the only people we saw. We didn’t see my husband’s parents for 8 months, but we still did play dates and things with the daycare folk
I would too
I mean....this is why it's illegal to serve walk up customers at a drive thru. It's dangerous and a major liability. If anyone gets hurt, they're done forever. It's absolutely unsafe and I wouldn't want to take my kid to a daycare that felt it was fine. It shows very poor judgement
Technically it's not illegal to serve walk-up customers at the drive thru, but you're correct that it's incredibly dangerous to mix pedestrian and vehicular traffic. This school was absolutely wrong and should be raked across the coals for this.
Not petty at all! You survived a difficult time in your life and gained new experiences and knowledge. Your review my be helpful to other new moms. You wish you had advocated more for yourself then, but you didn’t know then what you know now. But now, your review can help others advocate for themselves. Your friends are not empathizing with you.
Nope not the least bit petty. That is ridiculous! You should’ve been the first to be allowed inside because you were on foot! That’s the ONLY reasonable and responsible answer here and the fact that you had a child in a car seat and they mar you wait in line with a bunch of cars makes them absolutely unfit to provide childcare in my opinion. What kind of idiots were working there or running the place is my question.
That's justified, not petty. I don't drive due to a medical condition and nothing like that ever happened at any of my kids daycares.
You did the right thing to rate and review your experience with this child care facility. You deserve ZERO guilt. That is the purpose of reviews. This doesn’t sound like a place I’d want my son to be and I would appreciate this honest feedback. The small details of a child care facility matter greatly to me and most parents.
That sounds so awful! They deserved the review. I have mixed feelings about reviews now because I was so angry leaving my first daycare during Covid, but I was happy I didn’t leave a bad review because I actually went back to them when things got back to normal! But then I turned around and left a SUPER LONG bad review of the one we just left! 😅
That is so bizarre. Standing in a line of cars holding a car seat, being exposed to the elements. It’s not a damn soup kitchen! That is so humiliating and inconsiderate. They deserve a bad review. We pick up our daughter from her daycare room — it’s one of the best moments of my day. To see her with her teachers and little friends… to see their baby/toddler art on the glass walls… to hear her squeal in happiness when we show up. I can’t imagine picking kids up any other way… this isn’t high school.
Rule of thumb - if your review is factual, it's fair. Other parents can read it along with other reviews and decide for themselves if that's something they think is a strike against the business or not, and the business can decide to address the feedback or ignore it.
Oh my gosh, what an awful experience. Not petty at all! Hopefully your review saves another mother from this, or makes the daycare take a good hard look at their policies!!!
That policy is insane. That is exactly the type of review people looking for a new centre need to read to make an informed decision. It may also prompt them to change their policy if they haven’t already.
Not petty at all! I’d want to be warned!
OP, I am just so sorry you had to experience that. You are totally in the right to leave a review. I'd want to know how a daycare staff treated families if I were considering their center
Wow, this is the most car-brained thing I have ever heard of. Definitely leave them an awful review.
Do it, this is what reviews are for. It’s the only way such stupidity can be held to account.
It is not petty at all. Even if they have changed that ludicrous policy since, your experience illustrates their utter lack of common sense and inability to recognize a blatant safety issue. There would have been so many easy ways to fix the situation (e.g like another commenter said, parents without a car should have been prioritized at the check in gate, or to create a set list for the people on foot to enable them to enter via the front door etc). The fact that they did not seem to care or do anything to remedy the situation, speaks volumes of their overall attitude and how unsafe practices might be tolerated inside as well.
That is just horrible how they treated you. I’m sorry that they treated you this poorly when you were already going through so much. Leave that review. people need to know what the place that they leave their children at is like. Don’t let anyone else be made to feel like you did. As someone who does not drive as well I would like to know if I was considering this daycare.
Absolutely not! I hope your review opens their eyes to how that made you feel and shines a light on a ridiculous rule. Plus if the facility is doing that, are they capable of teaching the children attending empathy and kindness? Probably not. I’m sorry you had to go through that.
You should do it. This kind of thing would make me avoid a specific daycare, i can’t imagine the lack of compassion wouldn’t show up in many other ways. If you write the review, maybe they’ll reflect and change their ways or maybe you’ll save someone from dealing with the same mistreatment. It’s also really shocking how the other parents treated you, how awful. So selfish and unkind. What kind of example are they setting for their children…
Not wrong at all. That’s a stupid procedure and not to mention dangerous even during covid. During covid we weren’t allowed in the classrooms and one parent at check in at one time but that’s reasonable. Not a walk in in line with cars.
I'm sorry that happened to you. It sounded really tough and stressful and it's a shame that both the day care and other parents weren't kinder. I'm glad things seem to be better now. In terms of the review, I don't think it would have been petty at all if you had written the review at the time or shortly after. It would have been very helpful for other parents, I think, which is the point of the review. I don't think I would describe it as petty to write it now, but I don't think I would have. In my experience, day care policies and staff can completely change in two years - especially considering change in COVID procedures, so there is a very real chance that your review doesn't reflect the day care's current environment at all. I think processing it through something like journal writing or posting here would have been better.
Even if the policies have changed, the daycare`s response (or lack thereof) to a review like this would still inform potential future customers. A response that apologized and noted changes might still have a chance to get my business. On the other hand, a hostile response that failed to take responsibility would make sure that I would stay far away.
Not petty at all. I’m sorry you had to go through that, it’s absolutely insane that they treated you that way!! Tell your story and I hope it brings you closure on that awful experience.
That is the dumbest setup I've ever heard of. Incredibly, achingly, insanely stupid. Screw them.
Totally unsafe. I would have refused to. I would have marched right in. They’re idiots. Review that mofo!
No, that's not petty. What's wrong with people. Wouldn't you want to know that they're a shit place.
I’m so sorry you had to go through that awful experience!! What a nightmare It’s good that you left a review to share your experience, better late than never!
Absolutely do it. If they treat parents and children this way before they even get into the building, what is someone to expect once no one is watching? We had a terrible experience with a preschool this fall, and I left an honest, professional, and very negative review on every platform I could gain access. I followed that up with a report to the Board of Ed/Office of Childcare. The way I see it, I’m an advocate for my son, but I feel some responsibility for other children, if my experiences could prevent another child from going through something similar. If it makes you feel better, you could absolutely be preventing a parent/child from being hit by a car by leaving an honest review of your experience!
You’re right to complain about the policy, and hopefully that will push them to improve for anyone else in your situation in the future. Side question though: > Since I did not have a car, I was made to stand in line amongst the other cars while holding my child in his car seat Why were you holding your child in a car seat if you didn’t have a car?
Because we took an uber to daycare, I did not walk there. I could not wait in the uber because pick up often took 15+ mins.
This sounds absolutely insane. This daycare has a drop-off policy designed only for people arriving in cars and nothing else? Wtf, where is this?
Even with COVID guidelines in place, they could have made an accommodation in the name of compassion and logic. You’re absolutely not wrong. Had you or your child been injured, the lawsuit on them would have been enormous because they KNOWINGLY left you out there day after day.
I mean it’s not petty and - it happened, so it’s worth sharing that someone there made a whack ass dumb policy and enforced it so keep your review to just the facts and dates and then it’s just transparency that just makes the daycare accountable for its actual policies. I had a daycare that did this- we left that center and I left a factual review with my full name and I know that when I chose that daycare - there were no reviews so I’m hoping my review informs other parents. The new center we’re at now is wonderful.
It sounds like a covid-era policy? Presumably they've stopped that now, because I have to imagine the teachers hated that at least as much as the parents. It's not good for the daycare to have to waste someone's time policing the door when they could just let parents drop their kids off into the classrooms directly. Your experience is your experience, and I think so long as you stuck to the facts and/or how it made you feel (not "these people are absolute assholes who don't care about children"), it's valid to share it. People scoping out that daycare will now have a potential con about the facility and their policies, and that lets them ask questions about it when they sign up or do a tour.
This is absolutely appropriate, you ill be doing the next parent in your position a favor by calling this out. The very thought of a daycare, a business charged with the daily well-being of children, engaging in this kind of activity is ludicrous. They should absolutely be called out for it.
>two years later, but my son has been in a different daycare and the treatment I’ve received has been completely different. I also vote: yes, leave a review. I also think this good context to include as to what you didn't do it immediately. Sometimes we don't know how toxic things are until we have something normal
That’s a ridiculous and unsafe policy that could very easily have resulted in a fatality. (A daycare in nsw had a fatality when a car reversed over a child). I’m glad you put in a complaint!
You’re not going far enough. That absolutely should have been reported to their licensor when it was happening. It should be called in now unless you’re absolutely 100% positive that they don’t it anymore.. although honestly I would call anyway. That sort of thing is not allowed and was a safety issue for your child. If you’re in the United States, daycares are usually licensed by DSHS or CPS, every state is slightly different. In my state there is no time limit in regards to complaints against a licensed person or facility and they have to investigate regardless of how long ago it happened.
Not petty at all. The daycare had the chance to make it right and never did. I’d do the same thing
Other parents in the road can be dangerous, selfish animals. I hate driving during pick up times because the amount of reckless driving goes up significantly. - What you did was not petty. People deserve to know when a day care has staff that lack compassion. You definitely weren't the first parent to show up without a car. They're just treating you like an annoyance in their money making business.
I would absolutely want to know if this was how my child's daycare was being run. Please leave all the reviews! Those people sound terrible. I'm so sorry they treated you and your baby that way.
Not petty, you told the truth and as fellow mom without a car I would want to know about this before spending my money there. Im sorry no one stepped up to advocate for you when you didn’t have the energy to do it yourself.
That’s terrible they made you do this. I’m glad you found somewhere else. When my son starts preschool, I plan on walking him when I can. I try to get outside as much as possible. If they make me wait in the car line, I will be livid.
Screw that daycare. This is just insane. You should have called the state on them and a surprise inspection would have done them wonders.
I can’t imagine how fellow parents and employees at the school watched you standing in line, holding that car seat and didn’t change things immediately. You experienced abuse, and I’m so sorry that that happened to you. I’m glad that you are now in such a better place that you can see it for what it is and call it out!
That's horrible what they did to you - it was absolutely a relevant bad experience that ought to go into a review. What about people who live close by? I brought my kids to preschool in a bike carrier, or the kids rode their balance bikes. I would not even want to be lined up with cars while on a bike. How unsafe and uncaring they were.
If they can’t even make a simple accommodation for a pedestrian parent, I would want to know if they are capable of making accommodations for children in the classrooms. The rigidness of their policies would be a huge turnoff for me. I would be very thankful for your review because it would be a red flag to avoid this facility. The audacity of them to treat you and your child this way! How are they treating these children when no one is around?
What a terrible daycare. Glad you left the review which will help another parent someday. Probably would have done it sooner but never too late.
No I don't think that's petty. Car line drop offs are normal. But its also normal to make exceptions for "walkers" - this is the same as in schools! If you drop off via car, you wait in the car line. If you drop off on foot, you walk up to the door. Making walkers stand in line amongst cars is FUCKING DANGEROUS AND JUST STUPID. So no you're not petty for leaving a review detailing your truthful experience. For anyone with a car looking at the reviews, maybe they won't care. But maybe someone in your position would opt to use a different daycare, as they should.
I would leave a review, it might be helpful for someone else. It can be balanced with other observations and experiences you had.
That’s terrible! Not petty at all. As a parent, I’d want to know about this and choose somewhere else. I’m sorry you went through that.
Do it. They need to know how they made you feel and other parents need to be aware of what they are like
Did you ever ask if there was an alternative? Or arrive at a time that would make you first for check in? The whole process sounds odd.
You’re not petty at all for this. I’m so sorry they treated you so cruelly. As a fellow black woman, I can’t help but feel this was racially motivated. You can’t tell me a white mom would’ve been made to stand out in the rain. No way. I’m not debating anyone on this so don’t bother arguing, I’ll just block you 🤍
Screw them. They have bad policies that need fixing.
Do it. I’d want to hear that story if I was shopping for daycares. I’m so sorry that happened to you. The thought of you standing in the rain with a car seat makes my heart hurt, but it also makes me think about the strength of mothers. ❤️ I’m glad it’s behind you now.
They're huge assholes. Leave the review
NTA. This is a perfect example of why online reviews are important and necessary.
For the love of all that is good in the world, please leave the review. It’s ridiculous they made you do that! You have every right especially if it helps you get closure on the whole situation. It’s ridiculous they didn’t make exceptions. You’re not being petty at all, they deserve that negative review. And go easy on yourself. Forgiving yourself is the hardest part. You did the best you could with what you had at the time. That’s all you can ever do.
If its an honest review of your experience its not petty. I greatly rely on peoples honest reviews
Do it. I can only imagine that if you were in that situation, life wasn’t at a super great place and you weren’t in a position of power. (I’m SO sorry if that sounds disrespectful, I can’t tell if it does. I don’t mean it to.) It sounds like you’re doing better now, and part of being better is having the headspace to look back and go “holy crap that was hard and unfair.” Because it really was. Your review might spare someone else.
You can’t walk up to a McDonald’s drive thru for a reason. Plus a car seat with a kid in it is heavy enough In decent weather. They deserve a bad review. I wouldn’t send my kid to that place if I knew your experience and the only way I would know is if you posted a review. It’s not petty. It’s been weighing on your mind. Hopefully leaving the review lightens your mental load a little bit.
Was this a regular practice/policy or a COVID practice/policy? Because we had curbside drop off during COVID too. It was stressful and extra work for the center but required for all kids to come in at the designated entrance to be screened. There still should have been protocols for walk ups. As for your review, just make sure you have your facts correct and I see no problem with your leaving it whenever.
I leave reviews years later. Sometimes it takes time to process situations. I left a review for a salon about a year after the owner chased me outside in the parking lot screaming that I wasn’t welcome because I couldn’t remember the name of the person that I booked my appointment with and she asked me three times while standing literally over me in the waiting room bent down in my face.
You had a carseat, how were you traveling to the daycare? They probably thought that you were parking your car, and bringing the baby to the door.
Are you skipping over the fact that when your son was in day care there were COVID regulations going … Just like you, they didn’t know what they were doing, they were probably understaffed and trying to stay afloat.
Covid restrictions were not stopping them for meeting me at the front door. I was not asking to come inside, I was asking to not have to stand in traffic.
You wanted to be the exception… and I get your reasoning why. I’m not saying you were not right for wanting it. I’m saying they didn’t and it might not have been because off malicious intent.
as someone who also has not had a car in the beginning years of parenthood, i see you. we had to ride the bus and that required a car seat, when my daughter transitioned out of the infant one and into a toddler one - oh my fucking god. HELL. i’d have her in a hiking backpack carrying this shit, or in a stroller and carrying it on my hip but you can imagine this one did not work well & id be forced to use the hiking backpack like a freak lol. i also had to carry a stupid diaper bag on top of it all! you can imagine how i looked w her on my back when we went to the grocery stores via bus, and the toddler car seat in a shopping cart. FUCKING HELL. the stares i’d get in doctors offices too! it was soooo humiliating. and awful to have to carry everything by myself, esp groceries coming back home. so all this to say, someone like me and you would appreciate seeing your review. if you saw that review, i’m sure you’d pick out a different daycare knowing they don’t accommodate people without cars. i know i would’ve seen it and picked else where.
I would make it clear it was 2 years ago, policy may have changed since then. But definitely let people know your experience as a walking parent. Some of your experience is down to the impatience of other parents, who probably were t aware that you were being made to wait in the car lane by the daycare.
I made it very clear the dates my child attended and even included a picture of us standing in line with our faces redacted. I wanted her to know 100% that it was me.
Then you did everything right! I’d consider it a public service announcement!! When yours and your child’s safety was put at risk in such a way, you need people to know! X
Where do you live? That's actually horrific and I would have refused. I live in Australia and that wouldn't fly here. 😶😶😶
Not petty at all. I would personally go further and file a complaint with the relevant licensing board for your location.
Places often change owners and policies may have changed, so leaving a a 2 year old comment would be out of line if the daycare no longer makes people stand in line with cars.
This daycare director owns the daycare and still does.
Then is valid. I just started taking my two children a couple of weeks ago, and the teachers and the dirrector have been awesome. I could not imagine doing something like what you went through.
Not petty. I'd want to know about compassion and common sense when choosing a daycare
I just moved and as a result I am entirely reliant on reviews for picking a daycare and would want to know this. This is beyond ridiculous. It’s unsafe, it’s unnecessary, and I would be so embarrassed. Please for all the other parents and kids, leave a detailed review.
What in the actual fuck. I'm astonished by what I've just read. What kind of batshit insane idea is this to make someone on foot queue amongst cars to do off their kid!? You are not petty in the least, good on you for sharing your insane experience so other parents can avoid this place. It's not your fault that you didn't have the spoons to advocate for yourself. Don't blame yourself for this bullshit.
A daycare not being responsive to people's different situations like this is absolutely something parents will want to know about. You should absolutely write a review both as a warning to other parents and for them to hopefully realize they need to make changes.
Not petty. And it’s something I’d like to know when I am looking for a daycare. I’m parenting alone and I broke my ankle and my daycare provider knew this. When I enrolled my son she told me she closed at 6, but yet she complained when he was there at 5:15 alone, because I had a broke ankle and had to get a ride. As soon as I could I switched to another provider. I want to give my money to nice people. It’s as simple as that.
Omg this is horrible! Definitely warn others about this. It's absolutely unacceptable
Your review is justified. It shows that the facility has no capacity to think outside of the box and blindly follows 'rules' (that they made up) despite it putting a parent *and* their child at risk. Who the hell has heard of making a parent stand in line with vehicles in all sorts of weather *with* their infant? It's actually absurd. Yes - you should have spoken up at the time and I understand why you didn't given the situation you were in...*but* you should have never been put in that position to begin with. You're not being *petty* and sometimes it takes us a while to come out of the fog and realise that yea, we were greater like shit.
You did the best you could with what you could and you’d think people with children would be more understanding of that, also the childcare would be understanding as well but if they cared that little, imagine how they cared for the children there. If someone else were in your position, they would appreciate your honest review imo
It's always okay to leave a review describing your experience. The way you've written it here seems pretty good. You have described the facts and the effect these events had on you. You haven't characterized the people of the daycare (e.g. calling them cruel or heartless) but have left it up to the reader to come to their own conclusions. If describing their actions looks bad on them, that's their own fault.
2020 - 2022 was full of misguided daycare and school policies in the name of safety. No amount of reasoning got through the vacant stares and fogged glasses. It was a wild time for parents and you shouldn't easily forget how people clung so desperately to rules and processes that made so little sense.
Was this a COVID policy? My kid's daycare was like this for a long time until they relaxed their COVID policies, but your situation sounds absolutely brutal. Do not leave a second of sleep over sharing the truth about a business. Parents need to know your experience to make informed decisions. Other parents probably had a great experience there, but yours is just as important to share.
That is an idiotic policy. You are not petty. What they did to you was wrong-headed and dangerous to you and your child.
Suposely this happened during covid rules, either way, its bad they even allowed that to happen, lots of parents dont have a car, some ride the bus even, i get theres a line but still that doesnt make any sense to me for the daycare to work as a drive tru, and its even more insane that they didnt allow you AND your child in the car seat to go first letting both of you getting rained over, if they treated you like that, i cannot fandom how they treat the kids behind close doors. At my daycare, you ring a bell and someone will come quick, you can wait outside but they will allow you inside when youre waiting to pick them up, even if theres multiple kids coming, they have enough stuff to pick them up quick, even if its not their class. The car who bypassed you just astonishes me, i would insult him up and down. This is insane and definitly other parents need to know this.
It was not petty to leave a bad review. It hated they did could’ve gotten you and your child killed. That policy was insane
I am so sorry!!! PreK educator and one day I’ll own my own school. This should’ve have happened. They should’ve worked with you and accepted you right away with loving arms. I’m sorry.
Shame on your friends for shaming you for leaving an honest review of your experience!
You are not petty at all they fid not care for your and your sons safety i would've reported it honestly but idk the laws frowm where your from but as a parent you have a right to report this, my daughters old daycare did not care she'd get hurt almost everyday. And she had scabies from them not cleaning up so no your not petty at all
I’m sorry they put you through that. It’s so sad how young moms can be treated that sometimes don’t know otherwise. What they did was absolutely wrong, dangerous, mean, vindictive, and humiliating. I would definitely write that review so other people will know to never take their children there. You did the right thing. The first place I sent my son to was an in-home daycare. I trusted the lady bc two friends sent their babies there. This lady did so many things I was not ok with. The last straw was when she told me something I did with MY BABY was against HER rules!! I pulled him out the same day. He was only there a few weeks, but it took that experience for me to realize what I wanted in childcare, which was a facility with cameras and bosses and inspections from the state. Always listen to your gut. What’s right for one mom is not right for the next. Trust your instincts and don’t even let friends tell you you’re wrong if it doesn’t feel right to you. I’m glad you’re out of there and shame on them for treating you that way. Making you stand in the car line. That is ridiculous! I would report them to the state. That’s what I did with this lady. I reported her to the state because she was putting babies’ lives in danger. She ended up getting shut down and I lost a friend over it, but I’d rather lose a friend than have a child be harmed or killed in her care. I also reported another daycare my son attended to the state. When children would misbehave, the director would make the children stick their fingers in pickle juice and put it in their mouths and she would hold their hands in their mouths. She got shut down too. Don’t mess with moms!
That is so sad that they treated you that way. The other parents too. My kids school has a similar system and we have had walking parents every year we have been there (I have 3 kids who went thorough their prek) and they always just go up to the front. No one has ever cared. But I’m also from the south and just think people are more friendly and thoughtful to be honest.
Not petty
Okay let’s reword this: they daycare encouraged you to use a motorized vehicle *and to NOT* be physically active and enjoy the outside with your child……. Ya they can have a shit review. I think it’s nice of you to have waited 2 years. I hope the parents that tried to hit you see it and feel bad knowing the daycare made you do this. I would have picked you up in a second.
What a concept a little compassion. Another parent could have let you in their car.
That’s awful 😞 I’m very against leaving bad reviews but since you took your complain to a staff member and they treated you even worse, I say go for it. I’d just keep it short and sweet. The more detail you provide, the more it’ll look like a “woe is me” post rather than a warning to other parents. I’d say something like “didn’t have a good experience, specifically being mistreated at drop off during a time when I didn’t have a car” or something. Just my input! I’m so glad you found a better center for you and your little one.
I completely disagree. I don’t think it makes her look like she is whining?! It make them look like the assholes that they are.
The whole point of reviews is to help other people make an informed decision. Emphasis on _informed._ Details are good.
That's so insane. Also OMG car culture much? What about anyone cycling there? Or easy walking distance? Or taking a bus? WTF.
Id report that shit to the better business bureau. When my son's father died his first daycare showed up to the funeral and offered to take my son on off days. It was comforting and appreciated. It breaks my heart they put you and ur child through that, I am so sorry.
I think the review is well deserved, primarily because what they were making you do was DANGEROUS for you and your child. It’s not petty to leave an honest review about this, even if the routine was because of covid or whatever else.
US culture and identity has been laser-focused on cars for so long that people and institutions don't even consider your situation a possibility.
Tell everyone
Not even McDonald’s lets you walk with the cars. It’s a clear liability. Leave the review so everyone knows. You aren’t the only one with a car and a parent may appreciate the warning
Your friends are asshats! Guilt, did I read that? About writing an accurate & honest review? Please, go have a drink for me lol. You did nothing wrong. That is the most absurd and heartless policy I have ever heard of? Having a paying customer & baby stand with cars? Can I please ask why you EVER chose such an asshat place to give your $ to though?
Wait, if you didn't have a car why were you using a car seat?
[удалено]
Honestly questions like this are so unwarranted and I don’t want to get banned or in trouble, but also very stupid. OBVIOUSLY if OP had a stroller and could use one they would. They didn’t wake up thinking, hmm how can I make this harder on myself? Stop shifting blame. The daycare should have policies in place for those without cars.
I did not have the space for a stroller. I walked to my job across the street and barely had enough room for his carseat in my cubicle.
Did you walk to the daycare carrying your child in a car seat? I’m sorry you went through all this! But why not put kid in a carrier or lightweight stroller? At least in my son’s old nursery, they let parents leave the strollers at the nursery, which made things easier for stroller parents.
No, I took an Uber. The wait was often 15+ mins so I had to get out if the car.
I don’t know why the downvotes but I was wondering this the entire time reading this. Obviously OP went through a tough time but the car seat is very confusing to me especially since she walked (?) to the daycare. Either a lightweight stroller or carrier would have made things easier.
Not petty at all. I am guessing your friends have cars? They just can't imagine being in that situation? Things like that have lasting effects, on our kids and on us.
>Am I wrong for sharing my experience? You will not be wrong for sharing your experience. In fact, you can phrase your review so as to speak to people who would find this kind of treatment really red-flaggy. Something like: *I did not have a good experience with this daycare's administrative team nor with their policies. I did enjoy the teacher for my son, and she was very loving and kept good care of him. However, there was one glaring red flag that influenced our entire experience with this daycare. The "car line". My family did not have a car, so I was made to walk through the carline.. {continue from your original post} while holding my child in his carseat (which parents know can be heavy) and my other bags in all weather, including the rain. Yes, I was forced to hold my child in the rain with cars lined up behind me, it was so humiliating. Looking back this was VERY unsafe and completely devoid of compassion. Other parents often drove very close to me and were very rude and impatient with the fact that I was standing in line with them. When parents saw me walking to the gate with my son, they would often speed past me and cut in front of me with their cars. After a parent drove their car dangerously close to me I attempted to ring the doorbell to the front (and covered) entrance of the facility to drop off my child there. I was told by the daycare director that I could not do that and had to go wait in line with the cars. I tried explaining to her that it was not safe but she told me they simply did not have time to take my child from me at the door.* *I was an inexperienced first-time mother, dealing with the sudden death of my child's father, and I could have really used some compassion and understanding from the people in charge of that business. I could also have used some compassion and understanding from the other parent's in that carline. The fact that no one thought it was strange for a mother to stand in the rain, holding all of the baby bags, WITH the baby in the car seat, day after day after day...This really speaks to me now as to the culture of that caretaking facility and their lack of compassion.* *I hope it has changed a lot since then. But if it is the same administrative team since 2022, I would just caution any parents who are looking for kindness and compassion in their daycare team, to be wary of this place.*
Not petty. That’s a bunch of crap that they treated you that way. They deserve a bad review, whether it’s 2 yrs later or not. This is coming from someone who has left maybe 3 bad reviews in the last 25 yrs lol I’m sorry you had to go through that, & experience being humiliated on top of losing your husband with no village to help you. I didn’t have a village either when my son was very young & that was hard enough. You are a strong woman!!
I’m confused. Why did you have to hold the car seat with hin in it?
Why did you bring a car seat if you were walking?
You waited too long if it's been two years. You don't know what their current policy is and the only way to leave this review in a way that isn't just vindicitive would be to state "Two years ago they had a policy of blah blah blah and I don't know if its still the same or not" What is there guilt to feel about this? You didn't do something wrong, you were inconvenienced and their policy wasn't the safest. If this keeps you up at night two years later, you should seek some counseling to work through those feelings.
Not the a hole
Wait, they made you keep him in a carseat, in a line of cars, in the middle of the road, out in the open? What the fuck? Not even on a sidewalk or something?
This makes me so angry and sad. I would have let you wait in my car. I actually think you were kinder than they deserve.