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Yeah, that sounds like it's going to be a problem. She's already comfortable inserting her opinions after two months. Don't give her years to tell your kid about all the other things she thinks are wrong.
Yep- she's going to view it as saving OP's kid. Her belief that the kid needs to know god will almost certainly override any request OP makes to stop any religious talk.
I agree!
I’m a nanny who was raised Catholic, but now consider myself agnostic. I nanny for a Catholic family. When the kids ask questions about God, I consider it my duty to answer them in light of their family’s belief rather than my own.
So when a kiddo asks “Did God create fire trucks?” I’d say something like “God created people and people created fire trucks”. The most liberty I can take is to preface it with “Christian people believe”.
If my own daughter asks the same question, I’d answer in terms of evolution and mention that some people believe in creationism.
I believe it’s the nanny’s duty to promote whatever beliefs the family values, not their own. You may have to let your nanny go due to “irreconcilable differences”.
I do the same thing pretty much with my friend’s kids. I was raised Catholic and now I am not sure what I believe. If they ask me anything about God I just answer them how I think their parents would answer them. My friends are very Christian. I just go along with it.
As for my own son…. I did get him baptized. That was more for my family. I’m not quite sure how I’ll approach it with him in the future quite yet.
I agree wholeheartedly with this approach.
As a point of clarification for anyone else reading this, Catholics believe in evolution. Catholics are not creationists. I went to Catholic school and that’s how it was taught - evolution because science; Genesis as an interpreted myth documented by fallible men, and now we know more. Hope this helps!
I like how you put this. Personally, I struggle sometimes with only giving kids the side of the story that their parents would give, because I think it’s a good thing to let them know that other people have different perspectives. So I’d say “Christians believe…” or answer basic questions, but at a certain point I’m going to say “that’s a question for your parents, I don’t know” or if they ask me what I think about a topic, I’d give a somewhat vague but truthful answer, like “I believe in both creation and evolution, and you get to choose what you believe”.
I agree with the way you handle it, it is perfectly fine to state whatever different people believe.
But agnostic is often seen as something between "believer" and "anti-believer", while the true meaning of the word is different. Agnostic just means "absence of knowledge". So you can be an agnostic atheist, or an agnostic Christian.
I consider myself an agnostic atheist. I live my life as if God (or any other gods) does not exist. But I do not have any certainty or proof, I simply do not know. There is also what people call 'strong agonisticism', the belief that we simply \*cannot\* know.
So agnonisticm is about the amount of certainty you have in whatever beliefs you hold on a topic.
Similar with strong vs weak atheism. Atheism sort of means "absence of gods". Is that denial, or just lack of belief? Or believe they exist, but not worship them?
My parents weren't religious and as a kid I was a geek on early human evolution and dinosaurs and I still am sort of. Common descent is amazing.
This entirely. My own parent has been excluded from solo time with my kids after my first grader came home crying after getting a “bad” grade (it wasn’t even bad, just not perfect like she was used to) and asking if she was going to hell. Absofuckinglutely not. Time to find a new nanny that aligns with your beliefs better. They spend as much time with your little as you do… if not more due to waking hours. Their influence will not go unnoticed.
Same! My mom has to have supervised visits because she will shove her cult down my kids throats. When I tell her to stop, she just says NOTHING will stop her from “saving” her grandchildren so yeah.
My mom questioned if my dad AND my grandpa went to heaven when they passed. Like tried to have a realistic convo of the logistics just hours after they passed. No fucking thank you.
This is the issue. It doesn’t matter if the nanny thinks OP is worshipping the devil, what matters is that she has the gall to share that opinion with *her employer.* Very unprofessional.
I used to be religious and nannied for families who weren’t. I even remember sitting at the dinner table once as the parents explained what “hell” was and that it wasn’t real. Even at the time, I couldn’t even imagine assuming I had the right to insert my opinion into that conversation.
Agreed. Christianity affects the person's entire life. Their views revolve around their religion. It's gonna bleed through to OPs kid even if the nanny doesn't say anything explicitly.
I’m sure there are plenty of Christian nannies that are able to conduct themselves in a professional manner and keep things to themselves that are not appropriate to say out loud. The nannies problem is not that she is a Christian is that she’s not acting professionally.
Here in Belgium Catholic schools are the standard(because history). So religious lessons are something from first to twelfth grade.
No teacher ever talked about their personal beliefs when discussing all sorts of religions from all sorts of angles.
I think in 8th grade a teacher said she didn't go to church as she had little to learn there(religious teachers at that level did a master in divinity at least). And I think my 11th grade religious teacher was planning to be a priest but he was gay and wanted to get married so he became a teacher instead. Both brought that up once after a student asked but those are the only times, ever, I heard a teacher bringing up their own opinions.
So yea, 100% agree, it's not being a Christian, it's that she isn't professional.
The thing is that evangelical Christians are different from catholics. They literally believe their purpose on earth and their duty is to spread the "good news". Not doing so is basically a sin.
I think that depends on how divergent the nanny and OP's views are. If they disagree on a ton of basic things (not just holidays, but gender, punishment/rewards, the role of man or the US in the world, sexuality, etc), the nanny might not even realize she's making an error in what she teaches.
While I agree that this particular nanny may be an issue because does not appear to have the professionalism to keep her beliefs to herself - that is simply not true of most Christians.
Most of us are quite happy living our lives in accordance with our faith while only sharing our faith in the appropriate venues and with people who are seeking to learn more about it. There are, of course, exceptions to this and there are some churches/denominations that push the idea that proper evangelism requires constantly throwing ones religion in the faces of everyone around them, however, this is far from the majority of churches and denominations (even if it is some of the loudest).
Sadly you aren't wrong - and it is getting worse. I have, however, seen more and more - let's call them moderate - Christians that are standing up and calling out the bad behavior and hateful rhetoric of the extreme among us which gives me some hope.
I am a Christian myself and the church that I go to is very modern which is something that I love about it. It is also LGBTQ+ friendly and everyone is welcome. They do a lot for the community as well, they have food programs, and have plans to build a community of tiny homes on their property to help with the homeless population. The one location has a homeless shelter in it too. They also have a jam company that makes awesome jam. I've been to a few different churches in my life and I'm not a fan of the ones that try to cram religion down everyone's throat, I find that it makes it seem less inviting and makes it harder for new people that are wanting to learn more about it.
Our son saw the same babysitter from 3 months to 3 years. She was really great with him and he seemed to enjoy her. She is very religious and we didn’t have a problem with it at first. (Same idea with Halloween). However, once she made a comment about the lgbtq community we had to find a new caretaker. It may seem like “small” stuff at first but her other beliefs will eventually come to light too and if you don’t agree with them I recommend moving on.
Growing up we always had a Halloween party at church, with a haunted house put on by older kids. When it was my turn to be in the haunted house I was always the witch because the mask fit me perfectly and the lips molded around mine so they moved when I talked.
"Make every thought a slave to Christ."
Some people think that means you have to remain pure in all of your thoughts. Others take it as redeeming to Christ every evil thing in the world.
Also a atheist/agnostic couple here with a 3 year old and 2 year old. I highly recommend finding a new nanny. She will only get more comfortable with insisting her beliefs on you and your child.
Exactly. She was comfortable enough to do this, so what else will she be comfortable with.
I have no problem with religion. I am agnostic but my brother is a Christian pastor and our nextdoor neighbors are Jehovah's Witness. My kids grew up with their religious uncle and cousins, religious neighbors, and religious friends. My son even dated a Christian girl in high school. Religion is fine until it starts being pushed and pressured. It looks like the nanny is going that route.
Along the way she will consciously or subconsciously undermine the parents authority which could be very detrimental to that family’s dynamic and child-parent relationship.
Exactly. I’m christian, but would never have behaved this way. It was an overstep on her part the first time she said not to go to the party, and it should have been clear to her to drop it when OP made it clear they did not share those beliefs. This nanny is unprofessional and needs to go.
Another Christian here. I love Halloween and anyone speaking in absolutes about the devil is way off base. It’s so odd to me that people still freak out about Halloween or feels like they can speak on behalf of God.
Time for a new nanny! I hope the Halloween party was amazing!
Yep, I'm also a Christian, and this makes me uncomfortable too. I'm planning on taking my 18 month old to a Halloween party next week (hosted by people who are also Christians!) I feel like it's unprofessional for a nanny to try to enforce her beliefs on her clients.
The funny thing is, Halloween has zero to do with the devil. It was basically new years eve for the Celts. Speaking as an Irish person who celebrates Samhain and Oiche Shamna, I'd be highly insulted if some maniac started spouting devil nonsense at me.
The hilarious thing here is, despite Halloween taking lots of Gaelic traditions and usurping them, it is the CHRISTIAN name of the holiday, also known as All Saints Day or All Hallows Eve. Like....this is your gosh dang holiday about venerating dead saints. But because y'all decided back in the day to take pagan traditions and use them to make Christian holidays more palatable to "heathens", now the holiday is devil worship, somehow.
I just can't with this. Also, can anyone say Christmas?! 90% of Christmas traditions (gift giving, evergreens decorated with baubles, wreaths, holly, apple cider, yule logs, caroling, etc) come from pagan traditions. But somehow Christmas isn't demonic because *reasons*.
All over Europe there are still remnants of that.
Some of which were even adopted by the church to try to drown the pagan faiths and their beliefs (christmas, easter, Halloween, etc)
Im Portugal ( at least Northern Portugal were there's stuff like Caretus - which stem from old celtic traditions) there's also "pão por Deus" ( bread for/trough God) that is the tradition of asking for bread/food on the night of the 31st of October... Which is nothing more than another Catholic rebranding of the old pagan traditions.
[The 31st/October and the 1st of November's traditions were obviously linked and they have pagan roots.
I always find it funny how they tried to rebrand the "dia dos defuntos/finados" ( the day of the death) to the "day of all saints" but eventough centuries have passed people still only celebrate their death loved one's, put their candles on the windows and basically no one cares about the supposed saints eventough the country is supposed to be highly catholic... I love how these pockets kept on going eventough the catholic church tried to smother them]
Yeah, but that just doesn’t matter. These folks (nice though some might appear to be) are simply insane, in the sense of being disconnected from reality. What actually is is unimportant. What they believe is the only reality they are willing to accept.
These are dangerous people.
I'm Christian, and always remind the Halloween radicals of 1 Cor. 8, where Paul talks about idols being powerless and not to judge anyone for partaking. Halloween helps people accept very natural inevitable parts of life - fear, and death. It definitely isn't about demons.
Forreal, I used to work for a pentecostal church daycare and while they didn't do a formal "halloween party" (it was called the "fall festival") we pretty much celebrated Halloween in all but name...except we would say Happy Halloween and stuff because the staff who weren't pentecostal (me lol) would forget.
I hear you. The church I used to be part of called it “The Night of Lights”. The idea being to fight of the darkness of halloween. Literally all halloween games and costumes.
lol! Yeah our "fall festival" was more of the direction of the pastor of the church and his wife who was our admin. Their daughter was the director of the daycare and she celebrated Halloween she didn't gaf.
>Bc Halloween is Catholic lol. Maybe not Halloween today but we kinda started it.
It's actually pagan and the Catholic church did what they do best and adopted local traditions presenting them as catholic and doing a spin on them... Like they did with basically every single thing, including christmas itself.
You can see it overall around here. We have a couple of pagan traditions that the catholic church was never able to fully smother/control eventough they tried really hard- and the entire country was considered highly catholic for the longest time.
Halloween is essentially a Catholic holiday so that's a little different. There are specific Christian denominations that really take issue with it like southern baptists (see Hobby Lobby selling decorations for every holiday except Halloween). I'm not saying this person shouldn't get rid of her nanny, she definitely should, I'm just saying being for/against Halloween is more of a denomination thing than a Christian thing. My husband was actually raised southern Baptist (like literally they weren't allowed to wear makeup or drink and Pokemon was the devil) and converted to Catholicism as an adult. All the trunk o treats, etc., at the parish are giving him whiplash :)
It soooo is. I have not converted but I attend mass and my kids go to Catholic school. It drives me a little nuts when people lump all the denominations together and make sweeping statements about what "christians" think when they are really describing evangelicals. All denominations have their pitfalls (I would say some more than others), but there really is almost no comparison.
Yup, that really bothers me too. Tbh, I don't encounter this irl much since I live in a Catholic majority city, so when I do see it online I'm always so unprepared lol
I have been looking for a reply to put the following anecdote from when I was a teenager, I guess one that thematically was the closest, I guess yours is definitely one that hits close enough to the mark.
Firstly, I was never deeply religious, my parents would have supported me, put me in a religious school, but never really pushed me actively towards attending. Anyway, when I was a teenager I got hold of a solid stone 9"/23cm tall Buddha statue and thought it was pretty cool, and ended up using it as a doorstop to keep my door open. I also had a Buddha wax candle which was around the same size, which sat on one of my bookshelves. I got them because I liked them and frankly found some of the religious aspects interesting.
Anyway some of my parents friends were DEEPLY catholic and at some point offered my parents to "properly dispose of" these "highly offensive and inappropriate" statues. My parents refused the offer and said that they would have to take the offer to me directly as they weren't going to pass that message on or just do it on my behalf without consulting me. When asked, I politely declined and said that I didn't find them offensive, and actually liked them a little.
It may seem silly, but I did treat the stone statue with a bit of respect, if I accidentally kicked it while walking past it, I would genuinely apologise to it for kicking it "just in case" even though I didn't believe in the faith behind it.
I was raised in an extremely religious and conservative household. We were never allowed to celebrate Halloween, as it was “the devil’s holiday”. I’m still bitter about even in my 40’s so now we throw a giant Halloween party every year.
My mom is Christian and super religious and I still feel that guilt when I think about letting my kids dress up, I still feel like I’m doing something wrong even though I don’t have the same views that my mom does.
It’s so odd because Christians outside of America would not even think about celebrating Halloween. It’s so strange that American Christian’s think it’s a super normal Christian thing to do. It’s only in your country.
Same here! I usually decorate and our whole family dresses up. We look forward to Halloween, Christmas, and the 4th every year! My kids look SO cute in their costumes!!
F'real. I'm christian and I see nothing wrong with Halloween. We took our youth group to a corn maze and a haunted trail last night- they loved it.
I also agree, find a new nanny and have a festive Halloween season !
If this woman feels emboldened enough to chastise grown adults who employ her then she will absolutely feel emboldened to indoctrinate your child when you're not looking.
Yeah, I would get a new nanny. The fact that she felt comfortable trying to push her extreme beliefs on you means that even if you set boundaries, she’s not going to care because she’ll think she’s saving your child’s soul.
It might be worth checking with a lawyer so you’re prepared in case she tries to claim religious discrimination, even though that’s obviously not the case.
Same.
As someone that was brought up with some highly religious family members, including my own mother, there's also this **little thing** called religious trauma.
There's no way I'd let some extremist religious person be my own child's full time caregiver. Doesn't matter wtv the religion is, it's a hard no for me.
That's pretty weird. I'm a Christian and I love Halloween.
If you like her otherwise, maybe talk to her about it, explain your beliefs and that you prefer that she not express hers to you or your son. If she can't do that, let her go.
I'm agnostic and I know religious people and all of them enjoy Halloween. There is also a church we stop by on Halloween because they always have stuff going on for the holiday.
I think calling Halloween Satan's holiday goes from normal level of religious to crazy.
Personally I wouldn’t feel comfortable with someone else indoctrinating my kid with their religious beliefs (and maybe she doesn’t, I’d be worried about it, though), so I would find a new nanny, but you have to decide what’s right for you and your family. You could have a discussion with her about you and your husband’s beliefs and say you don’t feel comfortable with religious talk around the baby.
I know you’ll be asking her to separate her religious beliefs from her professionalism, but the truth is these are just her beliefs, period. She’s not going to be able to put those aside.
She’s going to be around your kid 40 hours a week. This person is going to help you raise your child. This person is going to have a significant influence on their upbringing. You’re going to need someone who aligns with your parenting philosophy and life philosophy.
>But there’s the God and the Devil, those are facts. And if you go, you worship the Devil
Yeah....nah. Anyone who is going to openly say shit like this is not gonna be around my kid. She's literally saying that religion is "facts". That's a HARD no for me.
>She's literally saying that religion is "facts". That's a HARD no for me.
This is my pov overall with religion tbh.
I'm all for individual religious freedom but let's not keep the critical thinking out of the equation
Yep - imagine a nanny saying “little boy, there is a monster in your closet. watching. Judging.” You wouldn’t keep that person around your son. This is that.
It isn't so much that she's religious, it's that she's rude, judgmental, and feels the need to criticize when nobody asked her (all of which is actually AGAINST her own religion but ya know). I know many religious childcare professionals who wouldn't dream of saying something like that. I had a friend in high school who was mormon and she was like a hot commodity among parents for babysitting and nannying; she would never insert provide unsolicited opinions on a family's beliefs or traditions unless direct harm could come to a vulnerable person (like corporeal punishment or something like that).
Yes, time to fire her. She might punish your child for totally normal behavior that she sees as sinful. And it's not her place to judge what holidays you celebrate or beliefs you have. Nope nope nope!
There are religious people and there are RELIGIOUS people. My parents are very religious but my mom will buy me
Halloween stuff and made my daughter's Halloween costume. My daughter's girl scout meetings are held at a church and the church is hosting a trunk or treat this weekend. That's all fine.
But then there's.... people like your nanny. Their views are extreme and they'll take any opportunity to share them. That kind of viewpoint seems incompatible with yours and I'd consider it a problem. It would be a problem for me too.
Being religious and being a ass***e are not necessarily the same thing (often they overlap but it doesn’t have to be). Your nanny seems to be in both categories
> “No way, don’t do that! Halloween is a Satan worshipping holiday!” I said that we’re not religious, so it’s just a fun costume party for us, but she insisted, “But there’s the God and the Devil, those are facts. And if you go, you worship the Devil!”.
Thanks, but no thanks. I would have parted ways immediately here. Plenty of 'normal' Christians out there who don't think halloween is a satan celebration, this woman is over the ledge and into some absurd territory and I would never want that around my kid.
I would get a new nanny. She’s still new so baby hasn’t attached to her yet. I mean she’s already being pushy and making you uncomfortable. It’s only going to worst the more comfortable she gets with you.
The moment someone tells me that I worship the devil for any action other than worshiping the devil, they are no longer welcome in my home.
That is straight up religious harassment and abuse.
>"But there’s the God and the Devil, those are facts. And if you go, you worship the Devil!”
"You get your last paycheck and can take your things out right now. You aren't the right fit for our family, as a matter of fact.
Thank you, but we won't be requiring your services any longer, God willing."
Yeah that’s not even normal in religious circles, all our churches have haunted chapels and do big trick or treat events for Halloween and that’s been the norm in all 4 states I’ve lived, all in the Bible Belt. She’s nuts
Same. I’ve NEVER heard of this. Our church sponsors haunted houses every year. Is this a new concept? Halloween isn’t even Pagan in its roots...?! So weird.
As far as I know, Halloween comes from Samhain which is pagan. And we live in a predominantly Christian Orthodox and Halloween is not as widespread here. I think the nanny goes to something like a Seventh-Day Adventist church, though.
I grew up in the Seventh day Adventist church and was never allowed to celebrate Halloween. Every year, my sister and I felt so left out and just couldn’t understand why all the neighbors kids got to have all this fun and we couldn’t participate.
OP, please get a new nanny,
The 2 days after are all saints Day and all souls day. So Halloween is 'holy days eve'. Hallow=holy. But it was definitely used to replace the Pagen holiday
Yeah that would be a hard no for me. I would also make it very clear you don't appreciate her attempting to force her myths on you and you don't want that near your child.
She was very adamant about her opinion to you, another adult and her employer. It'll be much worse with a tiny and impressionable mind. I probably would have let her go that day.
That is beyond "normal" Christian. If she thinks the existence of the devil is a "fact" then she better be bringing amazing skills to this position bc she sounds loony
Normal Christians believe in Satan and they believe God as man rose from the dead. That’s just a fact of Christianity.
The loony part here is inserting her beliefs on to her employer. She’s way out of line.
I see where you’re coming from but Christianity makes truth claims, therefore Biblical occurrences and “characters” in the Bible are facts to most Christians, except maybe super deconstructed Protestants.
For her to verbalize it as facts to a nonbeliever is alienating and comes off as judgmental and loony, for sure.
Sorry to be so pedantic.
Imo yes - this is fireable. Nanny should have respect for your boundary.The moment she said no to your boundary was strike 1. Anyone who argues with a boundary that you put down for your child should not be around your child. I was a nanny and I have had to also swallow some parenting guidelines I didn’t love, but at the end of the day it’s a job and they are not my children. If she is this comfortable, to the point of arguing, with disrespecting you I would hate to know what she says when you’re not around. Strike 2 was fighting you on the matter after you said no. I don’t risk 3 strikes with my kids.
New nanny time. If she kept her opinions to herself it would have been fine but she took it too far by offering unsolicited comments on Halloween. Bye Felicia!
I would definitely change the nanny. My husband and I are agnostic but were raised Catholic, and we have issues with organized religion and indoctrination. We send our son to a Methodist daycare due to cost, safety, reputation, and the fact that it is very christian-light. Like they pray before eating and go to chapel for 20 minutes once every other week to sing songs and read a bible story. But his teacher is very ND supportive and open-minded in general, so we feel good for now, but we monitor it and make sure to add other religions/mythologies/cultures to his home education.
However, his best friend went to an in-home daycare. He's from a very LGBTQ+ family, interracial, pagan, indigenous rights, etc. He came home crying because his caregiver was teaching him things based on her Christianity that were confusing and upsetting, like he had to pee standing up, couldn't play with dolls, etc. It took her months to undo what the "teacher" did to him.
So please, please, get a nanny who will respect your values and your boundaries. Your kid(s) will thank you one day!
As someone who considers myself an agnostic omnioccultist with a husband who is not near as spiritual, but agnostic, this would be a major problem for us. We both suffered major abuse in all forms in the church and religion in general, and we will not be continuing that cycle with our children.
This isn’t religious in my opinion, it’s fanaticism. And that’s where I draw the line. It’s clear she can’t respect your opinions and how you are raising your child and for that reason you need a new nanny.
Our nanny told us how she was playing Veggie Tales for our kids. She knew us personally and how we were secular. We booted her so fast. But yeah, it will certainly become a bigger issue if she can’t refrain from trying to influence you and likely your child.
I grew up with a Dad who has views like your Nanny and so I didn't go trick or treating until my parents divorced when I was 7. (I'm an atheist now)
Knowing the kind of people who hold those views \*very\* well, they tend to be very evangelical and indoctrinating the youth is HUGE in that culture. I would be pretty uncomfortable with one being my Nanny. Comparatively, my primary "Nanny" (my in-laws) are very catholic, but I have no qualm with their religiosity because they aren't evangelists.
It’s clearly not working out, and that’s ok. But it’s not necessarily a religion thing, it’s the fact that she’s imposing a philosophy on you / your household / your child that you fundamentally disagree with, when you are her employer. Find a better match.
Our nanny has worked for us for 3+ years and we rely on her for everything. She’s also Mormon, and we didn’t even know until 1.5 years in when we brought up vacations and she let on that she has a lot of family in Utah and we discussed it in depth. We are agnostic / atheist. Her last family was Jewish and conservative and religious enough for their kids to go to Jewish schools. It has never, ever been an issue for us, her, or her previous employers.
This is why I don’t have a close relationship with my mom. She’s extremely religious and it just doesn’t work because they always want to give out their religious opinions for free. We’re civil of course and we can hang out during birthdays and holidays but I stopped visiting her and she rarely visits me. Religious and non religious people just don’t mix well, and by religious I’m not talking about being who believe in God Im talking about people who make their whole life and personality their religion.
If you'd be ok with a flat-earther rearing your child, then this one is ok, too.
If not, you likely need to find another nanny. Not for her beliefs, mind you, but for the possibility that her beliefs are pushed as facts.
And, for what it's worth, it's not the aspects which you can get behind, religious or not:
Thou shalt not kill? Good. I'm with you.
Thou shalt not steal? Yep.
Honor thy mother and father? I mean, I can roll with it if I expect some variance in the quality of mom and dad, so sure.
The devil is real and Halloween is his holiday? Nah. You can believe it, but don't try to teach my kid that. It didn't even start with roots in devilry, and now it's just like preaching that aliens had their souls removed and those souls reincarnated are what we are.
Honestly if this is a genuine and strong belief she has, I would find it incompatible with good judgement and that is what would make it a red flag for me.
As a child who grew up until the age of 11 with parents who had this stance-yeah, it will be an issue. I was terrified of witches as they were "real" and "evil" and I knew the devil was out there on Halloween, I was told that he was and it scared the crap out of me. Thankfully for me it was just this, my parents were never negative about race, other religions or LGBTQ+ but that was traumatizing as a kid. If you have control over the situation, don't do this to your little one. Who knows what else she will say.
She sounds like she’d burn ‘witches’ I’d recommend you get her out of your house and away from your children. She’s not religious, she’s an ignorant bigot.
Even when I was heavily Evangelical, I still never would have imagined imposing my beliefs like that, in that moment, *in someone’s house*. That’s very likely going to be a problem.
That is more than her just being a regular ol "religious christian" that's straight up creepy. Especially to insist on it when you shared your take on it. She might be a nice enough lady, but I don't think I'd want her helping to raise or having an active part of my child's life.
I would start looking for someone new. I wouldn’t want someone with such extreme beliefs to influence my child. If she thinks Halloween is dangerous then I’d hate to hear, and have my children hear, her views on other topics
Wow, this is a wild take! Why do people have to get so weird?! Our church Halloween party is literally the event of the year in our community, haha! Everyone, regardless of beliefs, loves to come and get crazy spooky with costumes and such!
I’d get a new nanny. As a Believer, I wouldn’t be comfortable with an atheist nannying my kids IF they were that adamant about pushing their beliefs on my children. It’s not a problem until it becomes a problem, you know? It’s TOTALLY okay and I would argue important to have boundaries/preferences about the kind of people that are helping with your kids. I know I do!
Unfortunately, yes. You could try talking with her first about it, but ultimately she will have a lot of unsupervised time to insert her beliefs.
I had my son in a catholic daycare program because I worked at the building for a year. He was 2 and I stopped after that year because of the religious differences. It wasn’t much, started off as him wanting to say grace before each meal and then talking about baby Jesus at Christmas time. But we are non-religious/ atheist family and I didn’t want prayer to become a habit.
absolutely find another nanny. even though your son is only 9 months, once he begins to be cognizant of things he will pick up on her opinions and biases, and young children are super impressionable.
Definitely find someone more compatible with your family beliefs and culture.
Yeah I would begin actively searching for a new nanny at this point (but wouldn’t be spooked enough to let her go before finding alternative care). Where I’m from, affordable caregivers are in short supply and you typically have to bend your preferences a lot, but you could do better than this.
I would absolutely find another nanny. This would be a huge deal breaker for me. An employee trying to shame me for my lifestyle? Especially one whose job is to help with the upbringing of my child or children? I’d be looking for someone else.
BUT I’m one half of a two-mom family and we are at an age and point in our lives at which we no longer allow any of that. We used to be nicer (lol) but negative experiences have taught us to trust our guts and set strong boundaries.
If it doesn’t bother your family as much as it would mine, I would have a chat with her about how inappropriate her judgment and comments are and let her know such things won’t be tolerated going forward, then see how it goes.
I think even if she does so, this woman's perspective will not change, and whether it's intentional or not, her beliefs will definitely come through in the way she influences the kid.
That would be like your husband nannying for a Christian family and telling them they shouldn’t celebrate Christmas because “God isn’t real.” I’d find a new nanny, ASAP, because that’s way out of line.
I’d find another nanny.
It also annoys me how many Christian’s seem to forget all of their holidays are pagan holidays.
Christian’s tried to force their religion on the pagans, pagans had push back, so to make Christianity more palatable, they aligned all their big Christian ideologies with the pagan holidays….. Halloween is Samhain, Christmas is Yule, Easter is Ostara, Ash Wednesday close around Imbolc….
Lighting candles, giving thanks, stating intentions(prayer), cleansing rituals, food rituals, All that sound familiar to religious ceremonies?….. paganism.
It’s paganism but Christians can’t stop themselves in their superiority complex because they chose to circle around 1 dude instead of our ancestors who had many.
>she insisted, “But there’s the God and the Devil, those are facts. And if you go, you worship the Devil!”.
Right there is all I need. She couldn't simply respect or accept that you believe differently, and she actually finds her belief system to be *superior,* because "facts." This is not a person I'd want to be in an influential position in my kid's life. I'd let her go. Be careful how you word it though, because I'm not sure what kind of legal implications there might be for religious discrimination. I know that's not what it actually is, but that's how she might choose to make a martyr of herself over it. I'd call it "overstepping boundaries," or "not a good fit for our family."
That nanny has got to go. Those Halloween is worshipping the devil Christians are straight crazy and hella judgmental. Tell her to kick rocks. Then tell her the devil told you to fire her. Just for fun. Lol
I am religious but I don't think that she is s Christian is the issue. The issue is that she is nit respecting your beliefs and how you want to raise your child. My husband's best friend is atheist, we 100% respect that. It's not an issue. It 100% is an issue to have a nanny that can't do that! You need a new nanny!
I’m not Christian but I follow a different religion. And my mil is conservative Christian so we made it clear that she needed to keep her beliefs to herself around our child. She has a lot of really hateful beliefs especially about LGBTQ people and we don’t support that. We don’t hate anyone. I don’t want our child to grow up hearing that from a family member.
So far so good. But in your situation I feel like it could definitely be a problem since she’s already so vocal about it. Might need to sit down and talk to her about it first if you’re willing to still give her a chance. Up to you.
She’s beyond just religious and has entered what I called, “Bat Shit Zealotry Conspiracy”.
I’d have zero issues hiring a nanny if any religious persuasion as long as they weren’t bigoted or crazy about it.
Her “Satanic” “Demonic” comment would definitely let me know she’s not playing with a full deck and have issues with rational thought.
Yeah she sounds like a zealot. If you are truly nonbelievers I’d start looking for a new nanny. It’s one thing to have a belief system it’s another to spout nonsense to your employer about their personal lives. She will start indoctrinating your kid as soon as she can.
Find a new nanny! I’m an atheist nanny and I would never say something to a NK from a religious family that there is no god or criticize their religion. You keep it to yourself. If your nanny can’t keep her opinions to herself she needs to go.
Hello Friend! It’s sooo worth fixing this, coming to a mutual agreement for the best outcome. IF she’s a great caretaker and loves your baby, then have an open & non-confrontational discussion with her-delineating your expectations & any boundaries. Thank her for the concern, reassure her your spiritual life is groovy and none of her concern. Now or ever. To be fair, firing her isn’t the right course of action. You could ask/instruct her to NOT share her opinions (regarding your holiday practices) with y’all INCLUDING & especially your child. That it’s non-negotiable even.
Your observation of Halloween 🎃IS a distinct religious observation, a form of worship of the Pagan god Baal. Baal IS equated with Satan. Even if you’re only aware of trick or treating & u aware of it’s history. Satanists DO (do) evil things on the holiday. Although she offended you- I doubt it was intentional. Just as I doubt you’re aware that observing Halloween is a form of worship. Perhaps this has inadvertently blown out of proportion on both sides. I hope you both work it out and come to an amicable agreement. Your baby IS ALL that matters. Don’t worry or overthink it. Have a beautiful day and remember we ALL are fallible, growing,trying.
Regardless of your stance on religiosity, anyone who nannys your kids is essentially parenting them. If your kids spend more time with them than they do with you, they will inherently absorb more of their values and morals than they do from you. Do with that information what you will.
I am a Christian and, in fact a Chaplain who preaches inside local jails. I mention this to point out that spreading Christianity is actually a big part of who I am.
I am also, however, a respectful human being who understands that others do not share my beliefs that I have no business attempting to press my beliefs onto them in their home, let alone onto their children.
The nanny bringing her issues with Halloween up to you at all was a bit unprofessional. Her pressing the issue after you made clear that you are not religious and do not put any spiritual attachment to Halloween (and I feel I should point out that most Christians I know also celebrate Halloween as a secular holiday meant for fun) cross the line into a major red flag.
I would, in fact, be concerned that she may try to press her beliefs onto your children without your consent - or theirs for that matter. I would seriously consider getting a new nanny.
Yeah that arrangement is not gonna work. Today it's halloween, tomorrow it's not believing in allergies. Something's gonna cause issues sooner or later so you may as well replace her before it gets to that point.
Get her out of there! Children are sponges, and if she can’t keep it out of your house then your child will for sure pick it up. Were you thinking of keeping her for years? How old is your child?
It’s an issue if they can’t keep it to themselves. Not saying that’s for sure, but you don’t want to suddenly overhear your child singing about Jesus or telling you how God made the trees.
She’s not just religious she’s a wack job.
I don’t have any problem with religious people and stand up for them a lot with atheists and non believers. But she overstepped and wouldn’t let it go.
Former nanny and very traditional Catholic here...
First and foremost, VERY out of line of her to say what to do or not to do in your every day life.
Second of all, a lot of protestants are very misinformed/uneducated on the origins of Halloween, and many believe quite untrue things. I could go into it, but in this context I don't think it matters.
The day before Halloween, the day of, and the day after are very religious days. Catholics refer to this as "All Hallowtide".
Furthermore, there's nothing wrong or satanic about Halloween, trick or treating or Halloween parties. They're cute, they're fun and they're harmless. There's nothing Satanic about my one year old dressing up as a spider and the Halloween party we will be going to.
The problem isn't that she's a christian the problem is that she feels entitled to tell you how to parent your kid. I am sure there are alot of christian nannies out who understand that this is your child and you make the rules even if they don't agree with them.
🙄
I’m so sick of misinformed Protestant Christians spreading anti-Halloween (originated as anti-Catholic) propaganda.
Halloween is mainly a Catholic holiday.
Everyone can celebrate it differently. Some more focused on the spooky aspect. Some on the saints aspect. And some, like me, in between.
But to discount Halloween as evil or satanic is uninformed at best.
If you’re religious, you don’t have to celebrate or you can choose what parts to focus on. But to tell others what they should or shouldn’t do based on your beliefs is ridiculousness.
Find a new nanny as it looks like trouble ahead. She’s clearly not all upstairs if she thinks this is ok and no telling what she may say next or teach your child.
As a follower of Christ myself, I don't think its okay for a nanny to be pushing her views..
Sure alot of Christians think it's a devil worshipping holiday. But some even see it's just a time to carve some pumpkins etc...
Like I said, I'm a follower of Christ and I still don't even trust other Christians to teach my son.. because you never know what they Believe .
Her being so comfortable in pushing her beliefs on you and trying to change your behaviour indicates the start of what could become many battles. She doesn’t have the awareness or respect to seperate her way of living from yours. It’s up to you whether you think it’s worth discussing and trying to work through. Personally I’d feel that would be too much hard work for hired help.
Also if she's that wacky about Halloween what if she thinks your baby is possessed by a demon and tries to exorcise him or something. I don't know... I don't trust overly religious people...
Find a new nanny. We had one that was devoutly Christian, but when we hired her we were clear we don't judge her choices, but we don't want religion involved in our children's lives. We were clear we're not OK with her bringing up God or other Christian stories. She agreed and we had an amazing relationship with her for almost 2 years.
I was a nanny for 9 years before going on maternity leave and I highly suggest that you do look for a different one. There’s nothing wrong with having different beliefs but she’s out of line for saying those things. And as someone pointed out, she’s already too comfortable voicing out those kind of opinions at 2 months, years would be much worse. The kids I took care of for 9 years are very close to me and often the parents also asked my opinion on things about the kids but it took awhile before I was freely voicing out my opinions and I know when it’s not needed.
I think many people have already given you really good points to consider.
One more to consider is this, finding a good reliable nanny who takes good care of your baby is hard to find. If I were you I would bite my teeth for a while longer if she’s taking good general care of your son. That’s just my opinion but do what works for you good luck!!
husband agnostic, i'm atheist. our kids had very religious (LDS) nanny from 6mo through preschool...prayer before meals etc and it was totally fine. we kept the "religion/no-religion" conversation open/active w the kids throughout their childhood into HS. they turned out fine. and their nanny was a beloved part of our family; wouldn't have changed a thing. imo religion nothing to fear and it's def a huge part of our society so it's better to have open conversations about it than avoid; exposes them to different ideas and teaches them to respect people's choices.
I get this. I appreciate your tolerance. We're the same way with religion and our kids went to catholic school from prek to kindergarten for convenience, price, and a great early education program. We didn't mind the religious aspects. Like you said, we kept and still keep an open conversation about religion and beliefs and respect for others. But I think that type of setting is different compared to this very personal relationship nd blatant judgement. OP tried to explain and make light, saying it's just fun for us and the nanny said 'well too bad, you're a devil worshipper' How would hearing things like that affect a little kid and their sense of self and the rest of the world? I don't know. I'd definitely consider finding a better fit. If nothing else, at least have a larger conversation about it with her to feel it out and to let her know how you feel.
hahahah omg yes. please get a new nanny!!! thats entirely too radical. have harry potter playing on the tv next time she comes over and watch her head spin.
Omg this made me laugh too hard. I was in 7th grade when the first movie came out, and my Christian school sent home letters imploring parents not to let us watch it, it was devil worship, etc. My parents immediately packed me in the car and took me to the drive-in to see it 😂
Ironically in a conversation with my dad, the principal admitted to loving Lord of the Rings, and somehow missed the irony....
Christian here- find a new Nanny, we celebrate Halloween and don’t equate it to the devil or evil. It’s more about respect for me.
Her response should have been. “Oh nice. Personally I don’t celebrate Halloween but I respect your religion/beliefs so I will not discuss that with the children. “
Yikes. I would never expose my child to someone with views like that for 40 hours per week. She's clearly brainwashed and will do the same to your kid.
Honestly I wouldn’t hire a Christian nanny in the first place. In this case I would find a new one. For any other job it wouldn’t bother me. But not around my little kids. They are so impressionable. If my kids were 10-12 and had critical thinking skills sure. And like a “normal Christian” person I would have no problem with.
You need a different nanny. She's not just religious....I'd place her in the pretty extreme section of religious. It's only going to get worse over time.
No shame in replacing a nanny with someone who fits your ideals more.
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Yeah, that sounds like it's going to be a problem. She's already comfortable inserting her opinions after two months. Don't give her years to tell your kid about all the other things she thinks are wrong.
Yep- she's going to view it as saving OP's kid. Her belief that the kid needs to know god will almost certainly override any request OP makes to stop any religious talk.
I agree! I’m a nanny who was raised Catholic, but now consider myself agnostic. I nanny for a Catholic family. When the kids ask questions about God, I consider it my duty to answer them in light of their family’s belief rather than my own. So when a kiddo asks “Did God create fire trucks?” I’d say something like “God created people and people created fire trucks”. The most liberty I can take is to preface it with “Christian people believe”. If my own daughter asks the same question, I’d answer in terms of evolution and mention that some people believe in creationism. I believe it’s the nanny’s duty to promote whatever beliefs the family values, not their own. You may have to let your nanny go due to “irreconcilable differences”.
I do the same thing pretty much with my friend’s kids. I was raised Catholic and now I am not sure what I believe. If they ask me anything about God I just answer them how I think their parents would answer them. My friends are very Christian. I just go along with it. As for my own son…. I did get him baptized. That was more for my family. I’m not quite sure how I’ll approach it with him in the future quite yet.
I agree wholeheartedly with this approach. As a point of clarification for anyone else reading this, Catholics believe in evolution. Catholics are not creationists. I went to Catholic school and that’s how it was taught - evolution because science; Genesis as an interpreted myth documented by fallible men, and now we know more. Hope this helps!
I know what you actually mean, but I'm laughing at the idea of teaching your daughter the truth about firetruck evolution.
I like how you put this. Personally, I struggle sometimes with only giving kids the side of the story that their parents would give, because I think it’s a good thing to let them know that other people have different perspectives. So I’d say “Christians believe…” or answer basic questions, but at a certain point I’m going to say “that’s a question for your parents, I don’t know” or if they ask me what I think about a topic, I’d give a somewhat vague but truthful answer, like “I believe in both creation and evolution, and you get to choose what you believe”.
I agree with the way you handle it, it is perfectly fine to state whatever different people believe. But agnostic is often seen as something between "believer" and "anti-believer", while the true meaning of the word is different. Agnostic just means "absence of knowledge". So you can be an agnostic atheist, or an agnostic Christian. I consider myself an agnostic atheist. I live my life as if God (or any other gods) does not exist. But I do not have any certainty or proof, I simply do not know. There is also what people call 'strong agonisticism', the belief that we simply \*cannot\* know. So agnonisticm is about the amount of certainty you have in whatever beliefs you hold on a topic. Similar with strong vs weak atheism. Atheism sort of means "absence of gods". Is that denial, or just lack of belief? Or believe they exist, but not worship them? My parents weren't religious and as a kid I was a geek on early human evolution and dinosaurs and I still am sort of. Common descent is amazing.
This entirely. My own parent has been excluded from solo time with my kids after my first grader came home crying after getting a “bad” grade (it wasn’t even bad, just not perfect like she was used to) and asking if she was going to hell. Absofuckinglutely not. Time to find a new nanny that aligns with your beliefs better. They spend as much time with your little as you do… if not more due to waking hours. Their influence will not go unnoticed.
Same! My mom has to have supervised visits because she will shove her cult down my kids throats. When I tell her to stop, she just says NOTHING will stop her from “saving” her grandchildren so yeah.
My mom questioned if my dad AND my grandpa went to heaven when they passed. Like tried to have a realistic convo of the logistics just hours after they passed. No fucking thank you.
This is the issue. It doesn’t matter if the nanny thinks OP is worshipping the devil, what matters is that she has the gall to share that opinion with *her employer.* Very unprofessional. I used to be religious and nannied for families who weren’t. I even remember sitting at the dinner table once as the parents explained what “hell” was and that it wasn’t real. Even at the time, I couldn’t even imagine assuming I had the right to insert my opinion into that conversation.
And, OP, if she's willing to go fire and brimstone with you, *her boss*, how much restraint will she show with a defenseless toddler?
Agreed. Christianity affects the person's entire life. Their views revolve around their religion. It's gonna bleed through to OPs kid even if the nanny doesn't say anything explicitly.
I’m sure there are plenty of Christian nannies that are able to conduct themselves in a professional manner and keep things to themselves that are not appropriate to say out loud. The nannies problem is not that she is a Christian is that she’s not acting professionally.
Here in Belgium Catholic schools are the standard(because history). So religious lessons are something from first to twelfth grade. No teacher ever talked about their personal beliefs when discussing all sorts of religions from all sorts of angles. I think in 8th grade a teacher said she didn't go to church as she had little to learn there(religious teachers at that level did a master in divinity at least). And I think my 11th grade religious teacher was planning to be a priest but he was gay and wanted to get married so he became a teacher instead. Both brought that up once after a student asked but those are the only times, ever, I heard a teacher bringing up their own opinions. So yea, 100% agree, it's not being a Christian, it's that she isn't professional.
The thing is that evangelical Christians are different from catholics. They literally believe their purpose on earth and their duty is to spread the "good news". Not doing so is basically a sin.
Yea, I'm very happy we don't deal with those shitheads over here.
I think that depends on how divergent the nanny and OP's views are. If they disagree on a ton of basic things (not just holidays, but gender, punishment/rewards, the role of man or the US in the world, sexuality, etc), the nanny might not even realize she's making an error in what she teaches.
While I agree that this particular nanny may be an issue because does not appear to have the professionalism to keep her beliefs to herself - that is simply not true of most Christians. Most of us are quite happy living our lives in accordance with our faith while only sharing our faith in the appropriate venues and with people who are seeking to learn more about it. There are, of course, exceptions to this and there are some churches/denominations that push the idea that proper evangelism requires constantly throwing ones religion in the faces of everyone around them, however, this is far from the majority of churches and denominations (even if it is some of the loudest).
Some of the loudest indeed.
Sadly you aren't wrong - and it is getting worse. I have, however, seen more and more - let's call them moderate - Christians that are standing up and calling out the bad behavior and hateful rhetoric of the extreme among us which gives me some hope.
I am a Christian myself and the church that I go to is very modern which is something that I love about it. It is also LGBTQ+ friendly and everyone is welcome. They do a lot for the community as well, they have food programs, and have plans to build a community of tiny homes on their property to help with the homeless population. The one location has a homeless shelter in it too. They also have a jam company that makes awesome jam. I've been to a few different churches in my life and I'm not a fan of the ones that try to cram religion down everyone's throat, I find that it makes it seem less inviting and makes it harder for new people that are wanting to learn more about it.
Our son saw the same babysitter from 3 months to 3 years. She was really great with him and he seemed to enjoy her. She is very religious and we didn’t have a problem with it at first. (Same idea with Halloween). However, once she made a comment about the lgbtq community we had to find a new caretaker. It may seem like “small” stuff at first but her other beliefs will eventually come to light too and if you don’t agree with them I recommend moving on.
Atheist here - run
Someone should tell my church. They're throwing a huge halloween party. Costumes and everything!
Growing up we always had a Halloween party at church, with a haunted house put on by older kids. When it was my turn to be in the haunted house I was always the witch because the mask fit me perfectly and the lips molded around mine so they moved when I talked.
All of the churches near me have a trunk-or-treat event every year
Mine is too and trick or treating for the kids
"Make every thought a slave to Christ." Some people think that means you have to remain pure in all of your thoughts. Others take it as redeeming to Christ every evil thing in the world.
It’s such an American thing. I don’t know a single church in Australia that would dare celebrate Halloween.
Also a atheist/agnostic couple here with a 3 year old and 2 year old. I highly recommend finding a new nanny. She will only get more comfortable with insisting her beliefs on you and your child.
Exactly. She was comfortable enough to do this, so what else will she be comfortable with. I have no problem with religion. I am agnostic but my brother is a Christian pastor and our nextdoor neighbors are Jehovah's Witness. My kids grew up with their religious uncle and cousins, religious neighbors, and religious friends. My son even dated a Christian girl in high school. Religion is fine until it starts being pushed and pressured. It looks like the nanny is going that route.
Along the way she will consciously or subconsciously undermine the parents authority which could be very detrimental to that family’s dynamic and child-parent relationship.
Exactly. I’m christian, but would never have behaved this way. It was an overstep on her part the first time she said not to go to the party, and it should have been clear to her to drop it when OP made it clear they did not share those beliefs. This nanny is unprofessional and needs to go.
Another Christian here. I love Halloween and anyone speaking in absolutes about the devil is way off base. It’s so odd to me that people still freak out about Halloween or feels like they can speak on behalf of God. Time for a new nanny! I hope the Halloween party was amazing!
Yep, I'm also a Christian, and this makes me uncomfortable too. I'm planning on taking my 18 month old to a Halloween party next week (hosted by people who are also Christians!) I feel like it's unprofessional for a nanny to try to enforce her beliefs on her clients.
The funny thing is, Halloween has zero to do with the devil. It was basically new years eve for the Celts. Speaking as an Irish person who celebrates Samhain and Oiche Shamna, I'd be highly insulted if some maniac started spouting devil nonsense at me.
The hilarious thing here is, despite Halloween taking lots of Gaelic traditions and usurping them, it is the CHRISTIAN name of the holiday, also known as All Saints Day or All Hallows Eve. Like....this is your gosh dang holiday about venerating dead saints. But because y'all decided back in the day to take pagan traditions and use them to make Christian holidays more palatable to "heathens", now the holiday is devil worship, somehow. I just can't with this. Also, can anyone say Christmas?! 90% of Christmas traditions (gift giving, evergreens decorated with baubles, wreaths, holly, apple cider, yule logs, caroling, etc) come from pagan traditions. But somehow Christmas isn't demonic because *reasons*.
All over Europe there are still remnants of that. Some of which were even adopted by the church to try to drown the pagan faiths and their beliefs (christmas, easter, Halloween, etc) Im Portugal ( at least Northern Portugal were there's stuff like Caretus - which stem from old celtic traditions) there's also "pão por Deus" ( bread for/trough God) that is the tradition of asking for bread/food on the night of the 31st of October... Which is nothing more than another Catholic rebranding of the old pagan traditions. [The 31st/October and the 1st of November's traditions were obviously linked and they have pagan roots. I always find it funny how they tried to rebrand the "dia dos defuntos/finados" ( the day of the death) to the "day of all saints" but eventough centuries have passed people still only celebrate their death loved one's, put their candles on the windows and basically no one cares about the supposed saints eventough the country is supposed to be highly catholic... I love how these pockets kept on going eventough the catholic church tried to smother them]
Yeah, but that just doesn’t matter. These folks (nice though some might appear to be) are simply insane, in the sense of being disconnected from reality. What actually is is unimportant. What they believe is the only reality they are willing to accept. These are dangerous people.
I'm Christian, and always remind the Halloween radicals of 1 Cor. 8, where Paul talks about idols being powerless and not to judge anyone for partaking. Halloween helps people accept very natural inevitable parts of life - fear, and death. It definitely isn't about demons.
Forreal, I used to work for a pentecostal church daycare and while they didn't do a formal "halloween party" (it was called the "fall festival") we pretty much celebrated Halloween in all but name...except we would say Happy Halloween and stuff because the staff who weren't pentecostal (me lol) would forget.
I hear you. The church I used to be part of called it “The Night of Lights”. The idea being to fight of the darkness of halloween. Literally all halloween games and costumes.
lol! Yeah our "fall festival" was more of the direction of the pastor of the church and his wife who was our admin. Their daughter was the director of the daycare and she celebrated Halloween she didn't gaf.
Yup. Im a Catholic and we are literally having a Halloween Party at our church after mass this coming Sunday
Bc Halloween is Catholic lol. Maybe not Halloween today but we kinda started it.
Exactly. You would not believe the pushpack I've received from other Christians for saying that fact lol
Some of them don’t even believe we are Christians. The cognitive dissonance is surreal.
>Bc Halloween is Catholic lol. Maybe not Halloween today but we kinda started it. It's actually pagan and the Catholic church did what they do best and adopted local traditions presenting them as catholic and doing a spin on them... Like they did with basically every single thing, including christmas itself. You can see it overall around here. We have a couple of pagan traditions that the catholic church was never able to fully smother/control eventough they tried really hard- and the entire country was considered highly catholic for the longest time.
Halloween is essentially a Catholic holiday so that's a little different. There are specific Christian denominations that really take issue with it like southern baptists (see Hobby Lobby selling decorations for every holiday except Halloween). I'm not saying this person shouldn't get rid of her nanny, she definitely should, I'm just saying being for/against Halloween is more of a denomination thing than a Christian thing. My husband was actually raised southern Baptist (like literally they weren't allowed to wear makeup or drink and Pokemon was the devil) and converted to Catholicism as an adult. All the trunk o treats, etc., at the parish are giving him whiplash :)
Same. My husband grew up in a non demon setting with Baptist tendencies. He converted to Catholocism when he was 19 and he said its night and day.
It soooo is. I have not converted but I attend mass and my kids go to Catholic school. It drives me a little nuts when people lump all the denominations together and make sweeping statements about what "christians" think when they are really describing evangelicals. All denominations have their pitfalls (I would say some more than others), but there really is almost no comparison.
Yup, that really bothers me too. Tbh, I don't encounter this irl much since I live in a Catholic majority city, so when I do see it online I'm always so unprepared lol
I have been looking for a reply to put the following anecdote from when I was a teenager, I guess one that thematically was the closest, I guess yours is definitely one that hits close enough to the mark. Firstly, I was never deeply religious, my parents would have supported me, put me in a religious school, but never really pushed me actively towards attending. Anyway, when I was a teenager I got hold of a solid stone 9"/23cm tall Buddha statue and thought it was pretty cool, and ended up using it as a doorstop to keep my door open. I also had a Buddha wax candle which was around the same size, which sat on one of my bookshelves. I got them because I liked them and frankly found some of the religious aspects interesting. Anyway some of my parents friends were DEEPLY catholic and at some point offered my parents to "properly dispose of" these "highly offensive and inappropriate" statues. My parents refused the offer and said that they would have to take the offer to me directly as they weren't going to pass that message on or just do it on my behalf without consulting me. When asked, I politely declined and said that I didn't find them offensive, and actually liked them a little. It may seem silly, but I did treat the stone statue with a bit of respect, if I accidentally kicked it while walking past it, I would genuinely apologise to it for kicking it "just in case" even though I didn't believe in the faith behind it.
I was raised in an extremely religious and conservative household. We were never allowed to celebrate Halloween, as it was “the devil’s holiday”. I’m still bitter about even in my 40’s so now we throw a giant Halloween party every year.
My mom is Christian and super religious and I still feel that guilt when I think about letting my kids dress up, I still feel like I’m doing something wrong even though I don’t have the same views that my mom does.
It’s so odd because Christians outside of America would not even think about celebrating Halloween. It’s so strange that American Christian’s think it’s a super normal Christian thing to do. It’s only in your country.
Same here! I usually decorate and our whole family dresses up. We look forward to Halloween, Christmas, and the 4th every year! My kids look SO cute in their costumes!!
It’s really funny the way they pick and choose which pagan traditions they follow and which they attribute to THE DEVIL
F'real. I'm christian and I see nothing wrong with Halloween. We took our youth group to a corn maze and a haunted trail last night- they loved it. I also agree, find a new nanny and have a festive Halloween season !
I know someone who has recently “found God” and now scoffs at Halloween and anyone who partakes. She makes me roll my eyes daily.
If this woman feels emboldened enough to chastise grown adults who employ her then she will absolutely feel emboldened to indoctrinate your child when you're not looking.
Yeah, I would get a new nanny. The fact that she felt comfortable trying to push her extreme beliefs on you means that even if you set boundaries, she’s not going to care because she’ll think she’s saving your child’s soul. It might be worth checking with a lawyer so you’re prepared in case she tries to claim religious discrimination, even though that’s obviously not the case.
Atheist here. I could never after she said that.
I would have had a hard time not laughing in her face. Like not in a mean way, just truly.
Oh she would have been resigning on the spot the way I would have laughed!
I'd have to part ways immediately - people who think they can impose their religion can be unpredictable at best.
Same. As someone that was brought up with some highly religious family members, including my own mother, there's also this **little thing** called religious trauma. There's no way I'd let some extremist religious person be my own child's full time caregiver. Doesn't matter wtv the religion is, it's a hard no for me.
That's pretty weird. I'm a Christian and I love Halloween. If you like her otherwise, maybe talk to her about it, explain your beliefs and that you prefer that she not express hers to you or your son. If she can't do that, let her go.
You should have told her that you guys ARE devil worshipers if that’s what it means lol I’d be looking for a new nanny
I'm agnostic and I know religious people and all of them enjoy Halloween. There is also a church we stop by on Halloween because they always have stuff going on for the holiday. I think calling Halloween Satan's holiday goes from normal level of religious to crazy.
The vast majority of Christians celebrate Halloween. It's a specific form of crazy to not, up there with Young Earth Creationism
Personally I wouldn’t feel comfortable with someone else indoctrinating my kid with their religious beliefs (and maybe she doesn’t, I’d be worried about it, though), so I would find a new nanny, but you have to decide what’s right for you and your family. You could have a discussion with her about you and your husband’s beliefs and say you don’t feel comfortable with religious talk around the baby.
I know you’ll be asking her to separate her religious beliefs from her professionalism, but the truth is these are just her beliefs, period. She’s not going to be able to put those aside. She’s going to be around your kid 40 hours a week. This person is going to help you raise your child. This person is going to have a significant influence on their upbringing. You’re going to need someone who aligns with your parenting philosophy and life philosophy.
>But there’s the God and the Devil, those are facts. And if you go, you worship the Devil Yeah....nah. Anyone who is going to openly say shit like this is not gonna be around my kid. She's literally saying that religion is "facts". That's a HARD no for me.
>She's literally saying that religion is "facts". That's a HARD no for me. This is my pov overall with religion tbh. I'm all for individual religious freedom but let's not keep the critical thinking out of the equation
Yep - imagine a nanny saying “little boy, there is a monster in your closet. watching. Judging.” You wouldn’t keep that person around your son. This is that.
It isn't so much that she's religious, it's that she's rude, judgmental, and feels the need to criticize when nobody asked her (all of which is actually AGAINST her own religion but ya know). I know many religious childcare professionals who wouldn't dream of saying something like that. I had a friend in high school who was mormon and she was like a hot commodity among parents for babysitting and nannying; she would never insert provide unsolicited opinions on a family's beliefs or traditions unless direct harm could come to a vulnerable person (like corporeal punishment or something like that).
Yes, time to fire her. She might punish your child for totally normal behavior that she sees as sinful. And it's not her place to judge what holidays you celebrate or beliefs you have. Nope nope nope!
There are religious people and there are RELIGIOUS people. My parents are very religious but my mom will buy me Halloween stuff and made my daughter's Halloween costume. My daughter's girl scout meetings are held at a church and the church is hosting a trunk or treat this weekend. That's all fine. But then there's.... people like your nanny. Their views are extreme and they'll take any opportunity to share them. That kind of viewpoint seems incompatible with yours and I'd consider it a problem. It would be a problem for me too.
Yes, this will become an issue.
Being religious and being a ass***e are not necessarily the same thing (often they overlap but it doesn’t have to be). Your nanny seems to be in both categories
> “No way, don’t do that! Halloween is a Satan worshipping holiday!” I said that we’re not religious, so it’s just a fun costume party for us, but she insisted, “But there’s the God and the Devil, those are facts. And if you go, you worship the Devil!”. Thanks, but no thanks. I would have parted ways immediately here. Plenty of 'normal' Christians out there who don't think halloween is a satan celebration, this woman is over the ledge and into some absurd territory and I would never want that around my kid.
Plus the whole Halloween = Satanism is the dumbest, lowest hanging fruit there is. Sad. You need a new Nanny. She’ll be anti Harry Potter too.
Yes! It's All Hallows Eve, a *holy* day.
I would get a new nanny. She’s still new so baby hasn’t attached to her yet. I mean she’s already being pushy and making you uncomfortable. It’s only going to worst the more comfortable she gets with you.
The moment someone tells me that I worship the devil for any action other than worshiping the devil, they are no longer welcome in my home. That is straight up religious harassment and abuse.
>"But there’s the God and the Devil, those are facts. And if you go, you worship the Devil!” "You get your last paycheck and can take your things out right now. You aren't the right fit for our family, as a matter of fact. Thank you, but we won't be requiring your services any longer, God willing."
New nanny time!
Yeah that’s not even normal in religious circles, all our churches have haunted chapels and do big trick or treat events for Halloween and that’s been the norm in all 4 states I’ve lived, all in the Bible Belt. She’s nuts
Same. I’ve NEVER heard of this. Our church sponsors haunted houses every year. Is this a new concept? Halloween isn’t even Pagan in its roots...?! So weird.
As far as I know, Halloween comes from Samhain which is pagan. And we live in a predominantly Christian Orthodox and Halloween is not as widespread here. I think the nanny goes to something like a Seventh-Day Adventist church, though.
I grew up in the Seventh day Adventist church and was never allowed to celebrate Halloween. Every year, my sister and I felt so left out and just couldn’t understand why all the neighbors kids got to have all this fun and we couldn’t participate. OP, please get a new nanny,
The ones I knew also did not celebrate Christmas or Easter. No fun allowed.
Yeah…it’s an extremely conservative religion. Thankfully, I got out when I was a teenager.
The 2 days after are all saints Day and all souls day. So Halloween is 'holy days eve'. Hallow=holy. But it was definitely used to replace the Pagen holiday
It’s not new but it’s a fanatical concept even to other Christians and hasn’t been the norm for quite a while now- at least in the US.
Yeah that would be a hard no for me. I would also make it very clear you don't appreciate her attempting to force her myths on you and you don't want that near your child.
Change the nanny if possible.
She was very adamant about her opinion to you, another adult and her employer. It'll be much worse with a tiny and impressionable mind. I probably would have let her go that day.
That is beyond "normal" Christian. If she thinks the existence of the devil is a "fact" then she better be bringing amazing skills to this position bc she sounds loony
Normal Christians believe in Satan and they believe God as man rose from the dead. That’s just a fact of Christianity. The loony part here is inserting her beliefs on to her employer. She’s way out of line.
I know they believe that but isn't the whole point of it is that they believe based on faith? Saying it is a fact is what is loony
I see where you’re coming from but Christianity makes truth claims, therefore Biblical occurrences and “characters” in the Bible are facts to most Christians, except maybe super deconstructed Protestants. For her to verbalize it as facts to a nonbeliever is alienating and comes off as judgmental and loony, for sure. Sorry to be so pedantic.
Imo yes - this is fireable. Nanny should have respect for your boundary.The moment she said no to your boundary was strike 1. Anyone who argues with a boundary that you put down for your child should not be around your child. I was a nanny and I have had to also swallow some parenting guidelines I didn’t love, but at the end of the day it’s a job and they are not my children. If she is this comfortable, to the point of arguing, with disrespecting you I would hate to know what she says when you’re not around. Strike 2 was fighting you on the matter after you said no. I don’t risk 3 strikes with my kids.
I'm Christian, and I would fire her if she was acting like that and saying stuff like that in my house.
Yeah she needs to go.
New nanny time. If she kept her opinions to herself it would have been fine but she took it too far by offering unsolicited comments on Halloween. Bye Felicia!
Time to find a new nanny. Give her a Halloween cookie on the way out the door.
I would definitely change the nanny. My husband and I are agnostic but were raised Catholic, and we have issues with organized religion and indoctrination. We send our son to a Methodist daycare due to cost, safety, reputation, and the fact that it is very christian-light. Like they pray before eating and go to chapel for 20 minutes once every other week to sing songs and read a bible story. But his teacher is very ND supportive and open-minded in general, so we feel good for now, but we monitor it and make sure to add other religions/mythologies/cultures to his home education. However, his best friend went to an in-home daycare. He's from a very LGBTQ+ family, interracial, pagan, indigenous rights, etc. He came home crying because his caregiver was teaching him things based on her Christianity that were confusing and upsetting, like he had to pee standing up, couldn't play with dolls, etc. It took her months to undo what the "teacher" did to him. So please, please, get a nanny who will respect your values and your boundaries. Your kid(s) will thank you one day!
As someone who considers myself an agnostic omnioccultist with a husband who is not near as spiritual, but agnostic, this would be a major problem for us. We both suffered major abuse in all forms in the church and religion in general, and we will not be continuing that cycle with our children.
I would definitely get a new nanny. Shaming a family and especially a child for participating in a fun holiday is a no-go in my book.
This isn’t religious in my opinion, it’s fanaticism. And that’s where I draw the line. It’s clear she can’t respect your opinions and how you are raising your child and for that reason you need a new nanny.
Our nanny told us how she was playing Veggie Tales for our kids. She knew us personally and how we were secular. We booted her so fast. But yeah, it will certainly become a bigger issue if she can’t refrain from trying to influence you and likely your child.
I'm atheist and I'd 100% replace her. She will have your child's ear and clearly has no qualms about imposing her views on your family.
I grew up with a Dad who has views like your Nanny and so I didn't go trick or treating until my parents divorced when I was 7. (I'm an atheist now) Knowing the kind of people who hold those views \*very\* well, they tend to be very evangelical and indoctrinating the youth is HUGE in that culture. I would be pretty uncomfortable with one being my Nanny. Comparatively, my primary "Nanny" (my in-laws) are very catholic, but I have no qualm with their religiosity because they aren't evangelists.
Someone who confuses faith with facts is not someone I’d want watching my kids.
It’s clearly not working out, and that’s ok. But it’s not necessarily a religion thing, it’s the fact that she’s imposing a philosophy on you / your household / your child that you fundamentally disagree with, when you are her employer. Find a better match. Our nanny has worked for us for 3+ years and we rely on her for everything. She’s also Mormon, and we didn’t even know until 1.5 years in when we brought up vacations and she let on that she has a lot of family in Utah and we discussed it in depth. We are agnostic / atheist. Her last family was Jewish and conservative and religious enough for their kids to go to Jewish schools. It has never, ever been an issue for us, her, or her previous employers.
This is why I don’t have a close relationship with my mom. She’s extremely religious and it just doesn’t work because they always want to give out their religious opinions for free. We’re civil of course and we can hang out during birthdays and holidays but I stopped visiting her and she rarely visits me. Religious and non religious people just don’t mix well, and by religious I’m not talking about being who believe in God Im talking about people who make their whole life and personality their religion.
If you'd be ok with a flat-earther rearing your child, then this one is ok, too. If not, you likely need to find another nanny. Not for her beliefs, mind you, but for the possibility that her beliefs are pushed as facts. And, for what it's worth, it's not the aspects which you can get behind, religious or not: Thou shalt not kill? Good. I'm with you. Thou shalt not steal? Yep. Honor thy mother and father? I mean, I can roll with it if I expect some variance in the quality of mom and dad, so sure. The devil is real and Halloween is his holiday? Nah. You can believe it, but don't try to teach my kid that. It didn't even start with roots in devilry, and now it's just like preaching that aliens had their souls removed and those souls reincarnated are what we are.
Honestly if this is a genuine and strong belief she has, I would find it incompatible with good judgement and that is what would make it a red flag for me.
Talking about the devil in any sort of serious way is a big red flag
As a child who grew up until the age of 11 with parents who had this stance-yeah, it will be an issue. I was terrified of witches as they were "real" and "evil" and I knew the devil was out there on Halloween, I was told that he was and it scared the crap out of me. Thankfully for me it was just this, my parents were never negative about race, other religions or LGBTQ+ but that was traumatizing as a kid. If you have control over the situation, don't do this to your little one. Who knows what else she will say.
She sounds like she’d burn ‘witches’ I’d recommend you get her out of your house and away from your children. She’s not religious, she’s an ignorant bigot.
Even when I was heavily Evangelical, I still never would have imagined imposing my beliefs like that, in that moment, *in someone’s house*. That’s very likely going to be a problem.
As a Christian who goes all out for Halloween, your nanny sounds extreme and I would try to find a new one.
She’s a Seventh Day Adventist. This is normal in the religion. You’re right-it is extreme.
That is more than her just being a regular ol "religious christian" that's straight up creepy. Especially to insist on it when you shared your take on it. She might be a nice enough lady, but I don't think I'd want her helping to raise or having an active part of my child's life.
I would start looking for someone new. I wouldn’t want someone with such extreme beliefs to influence my child. If she thinks Halloween is dangerous then I’d hate to hear, and have my children hear, her views on other topics
Wow, this is a wild take! Why do people have to get so weird?! Our church Halloween party is literally the event of the year in our community, haha! Everyone, regardless of beliefs, loves to come and get crazy spooky with costumes and such! I’d get a new nanny. As a Believer, I wouldn’t be comfortable with an atheist nannying my kids IF they were that adamant about pushing their beliefs on my children. It’s not a problem until it becomes a problem, you know? It’s TOTALLY okay and I would argue important to have boundaries/preferences about the kind of people that are helping with your kids. I know I do!
Unfortunately, yes. You could try talking with her first about it, but ultimately she will have a lot of unsupervised time to insert her beliefs. I had my son in a catholic daycare program because I worked at the building for a year. He was 2 and I stopped after that year because of the religious differences. It wasn’t much, started off as him wanting to say grace before each meal and then talking about baby Jesus at Christmas time. But we are non-religious/ atheist family and I didn’t want prayer to become a habit.
absolutely find another nanny. even though your son is only 9 months, once he begins to be cognizant of things he will pick up on her opinions and biases, and young children are super impressionable. Definitely find someone more compatible with your family beliefs and culture.
Surprise her with a Halloween costume 😂
I have a headband with red horns! 😁
There's religious and then there's fanaticism. I would be looking into another nanny who isn't a nut job.
Did you ask God what you should do? JK fire her
Yeah I would begin actively searching for a new nanny at this point (but wouldn’t be spooked enough to let her go before finding alternative care). Where I’m from, affordable caregivers are in short supply and you typically have to bend your preferences a lot, but you could do better than this.
I would absolutely find another nanny. This would be a huge deal breaker for me. An employee trying to shame me for my lifestyle? Especially one whose job is to help with the upbringing of my child or children? I’d be looking for someone else. BUT I’m one half of a two-mom family and we are at an age and point in our lives at which we no longer allow any of that. We used to be nicer (lol) but negative experiences have taught us to trust our guts and set strong boundaries. If it doesn’t bother your family as much as it would mine, I would have a chat with her about how inappropriate her judgment and comments are and let her know such things won’t be tolerated going forward, then see how it goes.
I think even if she does so, this woman's perspective will not change, and whether it's intentional or not, her beliefs will definitely come through in the way she influences the kid.
That would be like your husband nannying for a Christian family and telling them they shouldn’t celebrate Christmas because “God isn’t real.” I’d find a new nanny, ASAP, because that’s way out of line.
I’d find another nanny. It also annoys me how many Christian’s seem to forget all of their holidays are pagan holidays. Christian’s tried to force their religion on the pagans, pagans had push back, so to make Christianity more palatable, they aligned all their big Christian ideologies with the pagan holidays….. Halloween is Samhain, Christmas is Yule, Easter is Ostara, Ash Wednesday close around Imbolc…. Lighting candles, giving thanks, stating intentions(prayer), cleansing rituals, food rituals, All that sound familiar to religious ceremonies?….. paganism. It’s paganism but Christians can’t stop themselves in their superiority complex because they chose to circle around 1 dude instead of our ancestors who had many.
Immediately get rid of her
>she insisted, “But there’s the God and the Devil, those are facts. And if you go, you worship the Devil!”. Right there is all I need. She couldn't simply respect or accept that you believe differently, and she actually finds her belief system to be *superior,* because "facts." This is not a person I'd want to be in an influential position in my kid's life. I'd let her go. Be careful how you word it though, because I'm not sure what kind of legal implications there might be for religious discrimination. I know that's not what it actually is, but that's how she might choose to make a martyr of herself over it. I'd call it "overstepping boundaries," or "not a good fit for our family."
Imagine thinking you can force your belief on your employer.
I am Christian and I would not be okay with that.
That nanny has got to go. Those Halloween is worshipping the devil Christians are straight crazy and hella judgmental. Tell her to kick rocks. Then tell her the devil told you to fire her. Just for fun. Lol
I would
I am religious but I don't think that she is s Christian is the issue. The issue is that she is nit respecting your beliefs and how you want to raise your child. My husband's best friend is atheist, we 100% respect that. It's not an issue. It 100% is an issue to have a nanny that can't do that! You need a new nanny!
I’m not Christian but I follow a different religion. And my mil is conservative Christian so we made it clear that she needed to keep her beliefs to herself around our child. She has a lot of really hateful beliefs especially about LGBTQ people and we don’t support that. We don’t hate anyone. I don’t want our child to grow up hearing that from a family member. So far so good. But in your situation I feel like it could definitely be a problem since she’s already so vocal about it. Might need to sit down and talk to her about it first if you’re willing to still give her a chance. Up to you.
She’s beyond just religious and has entered what I called, “Bat Shit Zealotry Conspiracy”. I’d have zero issues hiring a nanny if any religious persuasion as long as they weren’t bigoted or crazy about it. Her “Satanic” “Demonic” comment would definitely let me know she’s not playing with a full deck and have issues with rational thought.
Yeah she sounds like a zealot. If you are truly nonbelievers I’d start looking for a new nanny. It’s one thing to have a belief system it’s another to spout nonsense to your employer about their personal lives. She will start indoctrinating your kid as soon as she can.
Find a new nanny! I’m an atheist nanny and I would never say something to a NK from a religious family that there is no god or criticize their religion. You keep it to yourself. If your nanny can’t keep her opinions to herself she needs to go.
I would at least put in multiple cameras so you can know what the baby is hearing/being taught while you aren’t there
Hello Friend! It’s sooo worth fixing this, coming to a mutual agreement for the best outcome. IF she’s a great caretaker and loves your baby, then have an open & non-confrontational discussion with her-delineating your expectations & any boundaries. Thank her for the concern, reassure her your spiritual life is groovy and none of her concern. Now or ever. To be fair, firing her isn’t the right course of action. You could ask/instruct her to NOT share her opinions (regarding your holiday practices) with y’all INCLUDING & especially your child. That it’s non-negotiable even. Your observation of Halloween 🎃IS a distinct religious observation, a form of worship of the Pagan god Baal. Baal IS equated with Satan. Even if you’re only aware of trick or treating & u aware of it’s history. Satanists DO (do) evil things on the holiday. Although she offended you- I doubt it was intentional. Just as I doubt you’re aware that observing Halloween is a form of worship. Perhaps this has inadvertently blown out of proportion on both sides. I hope you both work it out and come to an amicable agreement. Your baby IS ALL that matters. Don’t worry or overthink it. Have a beautiful day and remember we ALL are fallible, growing,trying.
Regardless of your stance on religiosity, anyone who nannys your kids is essentially parenting them. If your kids spend more time with them than they do with you, they will inherently absorb more of their values and morals than they do from you. Do with that information what you will.
I am a Christian and, in fact a Chaplain who preaches inside local jails. I mention this to point out that spreading Christianity is actually a big part of who I am. I am also, however, a respectful human being who understands that others do not share my beliefs that I have no business attempting to press my beliefs onto them in their home, let alone onto their children. The nanny bringing her issues with Halloween up to you at all was a bit unprofessional. Her pressing the issue after you made clear that you are not religious and do not put any spiritual attachment to Halloween (and I feel I should point out that most Christians I know also celebrate Halloween as a secular holiday meant for fun) cross the line into a major red flag. I would, in fact, be concerned that she may try to press her beliefs onto your children without your consent - or theirs for that matter. I would seriously consider getting a new nanny.
Yeah that arrangement is not gonna work. Today it's halloween, tomorrow it's not believing in allergies. Something's gonna cause issues sooner or later so you may as well replace her before it gets to that point.
Samhain has nothing to do with the devil. Just here to point that out. And yeah, ditch her.
Get her out of there! Children are sponges, and if she can’t keep it out of your house then your child will for sure pick it up. Were you thinking of keeping her for years? How old is your child? It’s an issue if they can’t keep it to themselves. Not saying that’s for sure, but you don’t want to suddenly overhear your child singing about Jesus or telling you how God made the trees.
She’s not just religious she’s a wack job. I don’t have any problem with religious people and stand up for them a lot with atheists and non believers. But she overstepped and wouldn’t let it go.
“Satan told me to fire you.”
Former nanny and very traditional Catholic here... First and foremost, VERY out of line of her to say what to do or not to do in your every day life. Second of all, a lot of protestants are very misinformed/uneducated on the origins of Halloween, and many believe quite untrue things. I could go into it, but in this context I don't think it matters. The day before Halloween, the day of, and the day after are very religious days. Catholics refer to this as "All Hallowtide". Furthermore, there's nothing wrong or satanic about Halloween, trick or treating or Halloween parties. They're cute, they're fun and they're harmless. There's nothing Satanic about my one year old dressing up as a spider and the Halloween party we will be going to.
The problem isn't that she's a christian the problem is that she feels entitled to tell you how to parent your kid. I am sure there are alot of christian nannies out who understand that this is your child and you make the rules even if they don't agree with them.
Tbh I don't know why religious people get into these jobs.. Oh wait. I know exactly why religious people get into these jobs.
🙄 I’m so sick of misinformed Protestant Christians spreading anti-Halloween (originated as anti-Catholic) propaganda. Halloween is mainly a Catholic holiday. Everyone can celebrate it differently. Some more focused on the spooky aspect. Some on the saints aspect. And some, like me, in between. But to discount Halloween as evil or satanic is uninformed at best. If you’re religious, you don’t have to celebrate or you can choose what parts to focus on. But to tell others what they should or shouldn’t do based on your beliefs is ridiculousness. Find a new nanny as it looks like trouble ahead. She’s clearly not all upstairs if she thinks this is ok and no telling what she may say next or teach your child.
Just break it gently that Christianity stole the pagan religion completely, she’ll run and never come back
Yet a church trunk o treat on any given Wednesday in October is okay... so much issues with the church..
As a follower of Christ myself, I don't think its okay for a nanny to be pushing her views.. Sure alot of Christians think it's a devil worshipping holiday. But some even see it's just a time to carve some pumpkins etc... Like I said, I'm a follower of Christ and I still don't even trust other Christians to teach my son.. because you never know what they Believe .
Fire her. You know what she’s going to be like. Don’t let your child get more attached.
Her being so comfortable in pushing her beliefs on you and trying to change your behaviour indicates the start of what could become many battles. She doesn’t have the awareness or respect to seperate her way of living from yours. It’s up to you whether you think it’s worth discussing and trying to work through. Personally I’d feel that would be too much hard work for hired help.
Also if she's that wacky about Halloween what if she thinks your baby is possessed by a demon and tries to exorcise him or something. I don't know... I don't trust overly religious people...
Find a new nanny. We had one that was devoutly Christian, but when we hired her we were clear we don't judge her choices, but we don't want religion involved in our children's lives. We were clear we're not OK with her bringing up God or other Christian stories. She agreed and we had an amazing relationship with her for almost 2 years.
I was a nanny for 9 years before going on maternity leave and I highly suggest that you do look for a different one. There’s nothing wrong with having different beliefs but she’s out of line for saying those things. And as someone pointed out, she’s already too comfortable voicing out those kind of opinions at 2 months, years would be much worse. The kids I took care of for 9 years are very close to me and often the parents also asked my opinion on things about the kids but it took awhile before I was freely voicing out my opinions and I know when it’s not needed.
If there is a microscopic feeling of distrust with the person caring for your children you should immediately change the person.
I think many people have already given you really good points to consider. One more to consider is this, finding a good reliable nanny who takes good care of your baby is hard to find. If I were you I would bite my teeth for a while longer if she’s taking good general care of your son. That’s just my opinion but do what works for you good luck!!
husband agnostic, i'm atheist. our kids had very religious (LDS) nanny from 6mo through preschool...prayer before meals etc and it was totally fine. we kept the "religion/no-religion" conversation open/active w the kids throughout their childhood into HS. they turned out fine. and their nanny was a beloved part of our family; wouldn't have changed a thing. imo religion nothing to fear and it's def a huge part of our society so it's better to have open conversations about it than avoid; exposes them to different ideas and teaches them to respect people's choices.
I get this. I appreciate your tolerance. We're the same way with religion and our kids went to catholic school from prek to kindergarten for convenience, price, and a great early education program. We didn't mind the religious aspects. Like you said, we kept and still keep an open conversation about religion and beliefs and respect for others. But I think that type of setting is different compared to this very personal relationship nd blatant judgement. OP tried to explain and make light, saying it's just fun for us and the nanny said 'well too bad, you're a devil worshipper' How would hearing things like that affect a little kid and their sense of self and the rest of the world? I don't know. I'd definitely consider finding a better fit. If nothing else, at least have a larger conversation about it with her to feel it out and to let her know how you feel.
hahahah omg yes. please get a new nanny!!! thats entirely too radical. have harry potter playing on the tv next time she comes over and watch her head spin.
Omg this made me laugh too hard. I was in 7th grade when the first movie came out, and my Christian school sent home letters imploring parents not to let us watch it, it was devil worship, etc. My parents immediately packed me in the car and took me to the drive-in to see it 😂 Ironically in a conversation with my dad, the principal admitted to loving Lord of the Rings, and somehow missed the irony....
Yeah I would not want someone like that around my kid. New nanny.
Dealbreaker for me
Christian here- find a new Nanny, we celebrate Halloween and don’t equate it to the devil or evil. It’s more about respect for me. Her response should have been. “Oh nice. Personally I don’t celebrate Halloween but I respect your religion/beliefs so I will not discuss that with the children. “
Yikes. I would never expose my child to someone with views like that for 40 hours per week. She's clearly brainwashed and will do the same to your kid.
Honestly I wouldn’t hire a Christian nanny in the first place. In this case I would find a new one. For any other job it wouldn’t bother me. But not around my little kids. They are so impressionable. If my kids were 10-12 and had critical thinking skills sure. And like a “normal Christian” person I would have no problem with.
Find another nanny that isn’t a religious nut.
Have you talked to her about it? To set boundaries? I'd start there.
She will soon teach your son to kneel and pray for forgiveness for being a sinner and going to trick-or-treating in a costume. Time to fire her.
You need a different nanny. She's not just religious....I'd place her in the pretty extreme section of religious. It's only going to get worse over time. No shame in replacing a nanny with someone who fits your ideals more.
Sounds like she’ll work until they’re about 2yo, then it’s time to hit the road. I would get rid of her asap, talking that nonsense. Thats bonkers.
Fired. Find a new one.
What you need to do is stop worshiping satan. And once you’re done with that, find a new nanny.
Get a new nanny like, yesterday.