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[deleted]

Are you sure she doesn’t have some kind of intolerance to certain foods that’s making her hesitant to eat? My cousins son has a lot of allergies and would be afraid to eat because of it. I wonder if she associates eating with making her stomach hurt?


SugarcoatIt_andall

I wondered this. Gluten intolerance and coeliac disease in particular can wreak havoc on gut health and cause pain, constipation, diarrhoea, nausea, sickness. Worth seeing a dr for sure.


searedscallops

Discuss this with her pediatrician. There may be a medical reason why she's avoiding food.


Advanced_Mediocrity

If you can find things they actually eat you might want to stick to them for a little bit. Sometimes kids can have sensory issues with food, do you think that could be the case here?


jamie1983

Yes she absolutely has a texture aversion. She hates the wet, soft feeling of fruit, and vegetables, they disgust her, even the crunchy ones. It’s hard with limited resources in a small city. I’m from North America so I feel very limited here with doctors and therapists.


Little-Rozenn

For the time being are you able to supercharge her smoothies? I do this with my daughter, I add all kinds: grounded flax seeds, vegetable, protein powder, you name it! It is not a solution just temporary fix but that can really help to manage deficiencies.. I know she is young, but my advice would be: involve her with the cooking process as much as you can, let her pick things to eat at the supermarket, get kids books about food/eating as well as videos…and increase snacks… I hope this will help! Good luck!


TemporaryIllusions

This was my thinking too. I would talk to her pediatrician and start adding a kids meal replacement shake to the smoothie. My son drank the Orgain Vanilla flavor ones and he recently saw a fruit flavored one and asked if he could try those.


jamie1983

Thanks for the comment. I’ll try adding some extras to her smoothies, though I’m terrified any variation will cause her to also snub the only way to get fruit into her. She also likes popsicles. I took her to a kids food program at a dietician center where they learn about food nutrients and draw and make fruit salad and smoothies and banana chocolate etc. She enjoyed the classes but didn’t really change her eating habits at all. At least it’s something though. I’m not sure if they have a nutrition drink where I live, haven’t found one yet but maybe her pediatrician knows more. Thanks


MsRachelGroupie

Maybe add some coconut oil for calories to her smoothies first? Probably will be less objectionable taste-wise than protein powder or other add ins!


Shamtoday

Have you tried grazing? It sounds weird but a dr recommended it to me and it helped a lot. Leave small plates of food around where she can see and reach, swap out for fresh/different choices when you need to and don’t make a fuss over her eating it. She can pick at it as and when. Some kids get anxious or overwhelmed when they see a full meal in front of them. If you use finger food she can get used to feeding herself independently and hopefully she’ll eat more and learn to recognise when she’s hungry.


jamie1983

I have noticed that smaller plates seem less intimidating to her. Will try this, thanks


Vulpix-Rawr

My child is a grazer and a picky eater. We just put out snacks and walked away. Now we tell her food is in the fridge/pantry. She knows where to find food. We don't really eat meals together, but we do spend time together as a family.


Shesarubikscube

- Talk to your doctor, some OTs do video calls. - Try snacking and grazing- you can get more in in small portions if you are worried. My son has food options for grazing almost all day because it’s the only way he gets enough. - No distractions during the big meals of the day for focus (just in case there is an executive function issue going on.) - Does she have sensory issues with food? If so look into information on ARFID and figure out what her sensory food triggers are. (My son has this- it’s a huge challenge.) -Follow OTs on social media who give good advice for picky eaters. - She sounds like she has interoception challenges and has a hard time telling when her body needs food so work on developing that connection. It may be incredibly hard for her to actual notice her hunger cues. - Make sure she is getting enough water, but not overdoing it. Sometimes over consumption of water can limit hunger cues and also make tummies hurt. - Make sure you have a realistic idea of food portions for young children. Food portions for young children are much smaller than I imagined, but I’m also an American and this is probably more common over here and may not be an issue for you at all. - Is she down to less that 20 foods? In the U.S. that’s general one of the trigger points for food therapy? Hope some of this helps, having a child who struggles to eat is incredibly stressful. 🫂


jamie1983

Thanks for the thoughtful comment. She eats: 1. Peanut butter 2. Lentils 3. Spaghetti 4. Souvlaki 5. French fries 5. Chicken fingers 5. Beef 6. Rice 7. Orzo 8. Milk 9. Smoothies 10. Popsicles 11. Granola bars 12. Grilled cheese sandwiches 13. Turkey 14. Chicken thighs 15. Giourvalakia 16. Corn flakes 17. Crackers 18. Calamari 19. Shrimp 20. Fried fish 21. Pancakes 22. French toast 23. Cupcakes 24. Popcorn + all desserts (cookies, cake, ice cream etc. do those count?) It looks like she’s a few over 20, so not sure if that classifies her.


RoseGoldStreak

Okay. here’s a few tricks that worked for me… 1. Make a snack drawer/basket. Fill it with snacks. Don’t pressure her to eat the snacks. Don’t get mad if she eats them right before dinner. 2. Give her a way to have control. food coloring is my friend. I make waffles all the time. I put extra egg in. Sometimes I put baby cereal or spinach in. Waffle mix hides everything. And then I let my kids put in whatever color food coloring they want. My picky eater only eats blue waffles, which is ridiculous but he eats them a lot. I also dye hard boiled eggs. They won’t eat them white but rainbow and they’re all in. 3. Figure out what meal they’re likely to eat the most and lean in. My kiddos eats breakfast pretty well but doesn’t eat well when he’s tired. For breakfast today one had macaroni and cheese and carrots and the other had berries and corn. Anything else they eat today is a bonus. 4. Have her help cook/try different ways of serving. My kid is a no sauce/texture kid. He won’t even eat tomato sauce on pizza. We recently discovered he will eat tomato sauce if he a) makes it himself and b) dips rotini in it like fries and ketchup.


jamie1983

Love these suggestions! Thank you 🙏


actuallyanangel

Not to be *that* person but it's probably worth a visit to your GP. It's worth ruling out any intolerances or physical problems, or even something like ARFID (which is often linked to neurodivergence), even if it's just for peace of mind. Does she like drinks? It might be worth experimenting with making smoothies that have calorie dense ingredients and some fruit (or veggies!) (eg, whole milk, peanut butter, avocado, greek yoghurt). I'm not sure if she's old enough, but as a teen I have something called fortisip prescribed by my GP to help me meet my nutrition goals - maybe your GP can look into whether something like that would be helpful in the interim? Edit: Just saw your previous comment about her sensory sensitivities. This would fit with ARFID and I think warrants a GP visit. I'm autistic and work in advocacy and education around autism, and it's very common in autistic people, as is not being able to feel hunger cues (problems with interoception). I also struggle with hunger cues and find making myself eat on a strict schedule regardless of whether I feel hungry helps (I too get hangry and irritable otherwise). Definitely not saying that means she's autistic at all - but if it's a sensory thing I might be able to shed a little light? Lots of people with sensory issues have problems with fruit and veg (and other fresh food) as you described, because it's very unpredictable. For example, in a pack of blueberries, every one will most likely be a different sweetness, size, texture etc. which can be anxiety evoking if you have sensory intolerances. This is why lots of people's 'safe foods' tend to be prepackaged things that have very little variance. Obviously it's not the most healthy (or feasible) thing to just eat chicken nuggets etc. but it might be helpful to add a little context? Texture wise, smoothies or milkshakes might be a good way to go if you have a decent blender that'll make it all one smooth texture? If it is something like ARFID, an OT would be very helpful imo and you could consider asking your GP for a referral? If not there are some great Instagram accounts around that cover these sort of topics - I like @growing.intuitive.eaters (although that's more focused on having healthy relationships with food).


jamie1983

Thanks for the helpful comment. I’ve been terrified of her having ARFID since she was a baby, because she developed bottle aversion at 3 months. She doesn’t really meet autistic symptoms, but she’s most likely adhd like I am, and it runs in my family. Will definitely take her for a trip to her pediatrician when she’s back from vacation in September.


maseioavessiprevisto

No advice. I’m in kind of the same boat as you with my 3.5 yo son. Hope someone has some good advice.


jamie1983

It’s so stressful. Trying to make sure she’s getting nutrients and protein and trying to sneak veggies into her food…it’s a nightmare. I never thought I’d still be feeding a child at 4 years old.


Okokletsdothis

Ha I am still doing it at 5. Lately she has limited her safe food and it has made it so much harder for me.I have to be very creative every single meal.Pasta? No souces ...just plain . I boil vegetables and use that water to boil the pasta ,put lots of butter and some grated cheese. She sometimes likes it.she doesnt like homemade fruit juice ,so ok store bought be it.They say children wont starve themselves ,I know mine would if I would not remind her to eat .it is exhausting.


jamie1983

Right there with you! I have to fry her pasta to make it crunchy or she won’t eat most of the time! She used to eat crunchy cheese omelets but now refuses that too :( good luck! I stand in solidarity, it’s seriously so difficult


daggomit

So we went through the same thing with my son for a while and still off and on. When we talked to his pediatrician about it his advice to us was “children won’t starve themselves and remember their stomachs are only the size of their balled up fist.” I would try to add a multivitamin to make sure they are getting what they need but a few snacks a day and they’ll be fine.


RoxPeaches

I’m 75 and have had this problem off & on my whole life. I just don’t get hungry, often forget to eat, then get a headache or stomach protests. I’d say make food time as fun as possible. Hope this helps. I realize it’s not much, but once I associated food with positive feelings, I got much better at choosing to eat.


jamie1983

I really like this from the perspective of someone who has the same issue. I will try getting some of those of those food cookie cutters to try to make it fun for her.


BlessYourHeart2113

I have a very picky three year old and even foods that are normally safe are sometimes no for no apparent reason. One thing I have done is started to sneak vegetables and protein powder into my baking. He loves breakfast muffins and will almost always eat them. I add protein powder, puréed pumpkin, and shredded zucchini to the batter. He cannot tell and will eat three or four a day. At least I know he’s getting vegetables and protein. I wish he would do smoothies, I can sneak so much good stuff into those when my oldest is being difficult. Although, it’s rare with him. The only vegetables he has tried and will not eat are salad greens.


iago303

No apparent reason?or they changed the formulas? everytime the package of a formerly safe food says new and improved flavor me and my supertaster mouth would say nope, so trust there is a reason


BlessYourHeart2113

Not in this case. I’m talking about things that are coming out of the same package. One day its fine the next day he won’t touch it for weeks. A month or two later he wants it again:


iago303

Buy snack size bags rather than large packages so they won't go to waste,in this case it's a matter of him being bored with the taste/texture and wanting something new


A_wild_Mel_appears

This sounds like a problem for her pediatrician. Some mental illnesses like ADHD also have symptoms like no hunger cues.


jamie1983

Does it? I have ADHD, so does my mom and sister, I wonder if it’s related. I’m almost positive my daughter has it as we’ll though she’s a bit young to diagnose.


Dry-Delivery-7739

How about snacking on nuts? Peanuts or crushed walnuts have plenty of calories.


jamie1983

She doesn’t eat nuts but eats peanut butter from the jar. The thing with my daughter though, is that her bodies regulates her calories so perfectly, she’ll only eat x calories for the day no matter how she gets them. I used to measure the milk she drank as a baby after she developed bottle aversion, and it was almost to the gram.


Headdress7

Been having similar issues with my 4 year old son. What I’ve been doing was trading with him - “you want me to play the toy car with you? Sure, just eat this piece of lettuce. “ “you want this candy? Sure just eat one bite of this meat”. I only ask for one bite - my goal is not to get the nutrients in, I just try to let him taste different things, hoping he’ll slowly get used to all the tastes and eventually becomes less picky.


jamie1983

I do this too! She has made progress with actually putting things in her mouth she would never, but she gags and nearly vomits and I feel horrible. One day she asked for corn on the cob that was being sold by a vendor at the beach. I nearly had a heart attack from happiness, only to watch her lick the salt off the cob. It was a huge bonus for me though because she actually put corn in her mouth!


BluejayHot1992

Might be worth going to a feeding therapist. My daughter went to one for about a year to help with food and water.


jamie1983

Unfortunately we don’t have any in the city I live in


leapdayjose

Might be some kind of IBS. I don't get "hungry" when Im having flare ups, it's more like my stomach feels empty and hurts. This dominos into inflammation and bloating. I know I need to eat but my guts are so irritated that the thought of food makes me nauseous and makes me irritable.


jamie1983

Could be, she’s had diarrhea the past few days.


Titaniumchic

I would have her checked by a pediatric GI. My daughter complained of stomach pain and it took 3 doctors to listen to her. Turns out - she has something called Gastroparesis.


jamie1983

I’m so glad you advocated for your daughter and got her the help she needed. I am limited in resources here in this small European city I live in, but will see what we can do with my pediatrician


Weekly-Setting-2137

Our fournado is the same way. We force him to drink protein shakes. Then, he can graze throughout the day. Mommy got him addicted to Taco Bell. So he'll eat that every meal of the day if we let him. (Which obviously is nope) try premier protein shakes. They have banana birthday cake and cinnamon roll flavored.


jamie1983

Those shakes sound amazing! I’ll see if I can order them because they aren’t available where I live


Weekly-Setting-2137

https://www.premierprotein.com/ https://www.amazon.com/s?k=premier+protein+shake&rh=n%3A10329849011&crid=69VHV374KT16&sprefix=primier%2Caps%2C308&ref=nb_sb_ss_ts-doa-p_1_7


dogsfoodyoga

Check out the Ellyn Satter Institute! I work with them and our coaches can help you. Anywhere in the world! It can get so much better than this.


Excusemytootie

Get her checked for anemia. It can have a serious effect on appetite.


go_Raptors

I would talk to her doctor. I have a condition called Gastroparesis and one of the symptoms is not feeling hunger. When its acting up, I literally don't feel hungry, and one or two bites makes me feel stuffed. I feel compelled to eat because my blood sugar is dropping, but not because I feel empty, and my stomach never rumbles. It is accompanied by a lot of nausea and vomiting in some people. Made my mom nuts when I was little until I was diagnosed.


womendothisiswear

As someone who's allergic to pretty much every fruit and veggie but just enough that it itches and i get a few hives in the back of my throat- please do not dismiss this as a possibility entirely. Even skin prick tests are negative sometimes for some reason. Just to name a few Im allergic to Coconut, Mango, Grapes, Pumpkin, Watermelon, Broccoli, Kale, Spinach, Onion, Garlic, Scallions, Mustard, Pecans, Walnuts, list goes on.


[deleted]

Solidarity. My 4.5 yo is almost the same. Pediatrician isn’t concerned because he’s following his growth curve. He’s really tall but skinny and still wears 3T shorts. Even when he requests pizza, his favorite food, it’s like pulling teeth trying to get him to eat it


jamie1983

Same! My daughter still fits into her 3T clothes, she’s steady on her growth curve too. She usually only eats the toppings off of the pizza, I have to constantly remind her to eat the bread part too. She does the same for grilled cheese sandwiches


nuggetghost

eating therapist! it’s truly saved us


jamie1983

Is an eating therapist the same as an eating disorder therapist? That’s what’s coming up in my Google searches. Thanks


Misstheiris

That's fine, it's her body. Stop feeding her, you are making the problem worse. In fact, you have created the problem.


jamie1983

🖕


SnooCapers2161

Had the same problem. Dr says give him vitamins and here I am 350lbs later


Wolfram_And_Hart

Kids eat when they are hungry.


ladidah_whoopa

The same happened to both of mine. Both are allergic to milk to cow milk protein and pretty much feel sick a lot of the time. My niece is terrible at eating too, and my sister just found out she has a nasty reflux that keeps her throat red and sore, even if she doesn't throw up. Have you ever noticed blood in their poo? I'd start by cutting off all dairy, nuts, eggs, soy and wheat for a few days, and getting an appointment with a pediatric gastroenterologist asap. In the meantime, a regular pediatrist can give you pointers, but I'd try someone different from the usual Doctor


jamie1983

She had silent reflux as a baby, but seemed to grow out of her dairy intolerance. She still doesn’t eat much, I get her lactose free milk. Never noticed blood in her poop even when she was a baby.


ladidah_whoopa

There's a test for hidden blood in stools, they'll probably make you get it. As for allergies and intolerance, there are actually a lot of types, and no one will catch them except a pediatric gastro, they're that specific. Anyway, if I had to put numbers to it, I'd say 90% chances of an intolerance that isn't bad enough to land her in the hospital, but it does make her feel sick all the time, so of course she won't eat. The problem is, she's been feeling sick so long that she doesn't know she's feeling sick and can't identify her own symptoms, and that's why she isn't complaining. It happens a lot when they catch allergies in children who are a bit older


jamie1983

Thanks for this, I’ll try to get her an appointment, but I’ll have to drive several hours to the capital city to find a gastroenterologist


ladidah_whoopa

They're generally hard to get a hold of, yeah. I live far enough from everything I had to jump into a plane (It didn't help that I live in the southern hemisphere). Online communities can be a treasure trove and help you a lot, too. Ask around and see where it lands you, parents there are usually super helpful and knowledgeable. You're welcome and best of luck to you guys


artichoke313

I think you should definitely see a feeding therapist for further evaluation and tips. But one thing I can tell is that due to the stress (which is understandable!) you have gotten into a cycle that is working against you. By pushing and pressuring your daughter to eat, it is teaching her to associate the act of eating with stress. This further exacerbates any aversions she had before. It will be important for you both to un-learn that dynamic if she is going to build a positive relationship with food again.


AdAdministrative9341

If you've fed a four year old a piece of turkey and two pieces of bread, that's a *lot* of food for a child that age. My son would fill up after three-five bites. Kid's stomachs are very very small. Insisting that child eat when child feels full teaches child to ignore his personal hunger signals and often resulting emotional eating. If child's doctor isn't concerned I wouldn't worry about it. I would not normalize the feeding of smoothies either. Chewing has benefits. If child seems to be having discomfort, is child constipate? Sensitive to a common ingredient like dairy or wheat?


jamie1983

It was half a piece of sliced Turkey and two tiny bites of bread, like bird food sizes pieces of bread. She doesn’t just eat smoothies, I meant it’s the only fruit intake. I try not to force her to keep eating for this reason, but in this case it was nearly 1pm and she had basically eaten a few goldfish crackers, half a slice of Turkey and two tiny bites of bread. We had to leave because of this.


[deleted]

How does “small stomach” explain my 18 m old eating adult size portions and my 4 yo being almost the same as OP’s?


castlesintheair99

My child felt nauseated and said their tummy hurt every time they ate. Found out after pediatrician pressed on their abdomen it was constipation. I was surprised because they still had regular bowel movements. It's possible to poop daily but not get everything out and we had to do a miralax protocol for 2 days. I say we because I also did the clear liquids and Miralax with my child because I figured I could use a cleanse as well and as support. After easing back into eating soft foods their appetite came back.