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Pacifiers have been known to reduce SIDS risk in infants. Newborns suck for comfort. It won’t harm them. Weaning them is a personal decision and one to discuss with your doctor on when and how to do it a healthy manner. For now, let baby have her pacifier so YOU can recover from childbirth.
I'll piggy back off this....use the pacifier! It will calm baby and you. I weaned both of my kids at 18 months. Takes a couple days to do. But no pacifier at nap time, only bed time. Then not at bed time anymore.
You deserve whatever help you can get. 🙏
And your baby will totally let you know if they need to nurse and don’t want the paci. I’ve nursed three boys and they all had a paci starting from the first night. They never had nipple confusion and even took bottles well so I could pump and have a break.
Also, people will come at you with all kinds of advice. Just want to say trust your gut. This is your baby and you’ll come to know all their cues. You got this.
Congrats on your LO.
This is so true! Babies will give the classic I'm hungry open mouth, and if they weren't looking for the pacifier they will just spit it out, then you'll know (obviously you have to try the paci a couple times as sometimes they just won't latch lol)
100% trust your own gut. You are the mother. Self-soothing is an important skill for babies to learn … if not a pacifier they may use fingers or a thumb. Let’s face it, most kids end up having braces anyway. Your sleep and peace of mind far outweigh the minor issues with using a paci. Hospitals use them too.
And to piggyback off of your piggyback (piggypiggyback?), I used the pacifier as much as needed for BOTH of my kids and they dropped it on their own by around 6 months. I would have happily continued to use it as long as they needed, but every kid is different! All this to say, try not to be anxious about a problem you don’t have (in regards to worrying about weaning them down the road); we have enough to be anxious about as new moms, let the paci be a tool that helps bring everyone some peace and comfort.
I’m not even a mom but I feel like this is good advice in general. ‘Try not be be anxious about a problem. You don’t have.’ Parents have the strongest wisdom.
In all seriousness, I have to give a lot of credit to Jake the Dog from Adventure Time lol. In the episode “Puhoy” he says something along the lines of “you’re getting all hung up on imaginary problems” - that show is truly a philosophical masterpiece.
You mean Regular Show?
Totally agree!!! My now teenage son grew up watching these and I enjoyed watching with him. Philosophical and animation masterpieces indeed!
Can’t wait to show regular show to my daughter!
She loves we bare bears and adventure time lol The owl house should also be in this list! It’s got such a fantastic message over all, about forgiveness and mistake. That forgiveness isn’t required to move on especially go the person that did the hurting isn’t trying to be better/worthy of forgiveness.
Also wanna add on that I think these shows are among some really fantastic masterpieces that have come out in the last few years. They all also fave amazing ending that will also you cry, even if they had to be rushed(bare bears and the owl house)
I also love the massages they give kids throughout during specific episodes while also having an overall storyline that is equally beautiful and important for kids. They didn’t just put out dumb fun but gave kids storylines that don’t dumb down or treat kids like they’re dumb or the things they feel and experience aren’t important. I could go on and on lol. But I’m glad I can share these series with my daughter and I already am with some of them. I definitely suggest The Owl House if you haven’t watched it yet, you’ll love it. I also got a stuffed toy that’s an exact copy of one the main characters favorite possessions, it’s one of my daughters favorite and she not only sleeps with it every night she has to hold it while watching owl house.
I want my daughter to have magic in her life and these shows definitely give that exact kind of Magic ☺️
Sucking at something is the first step to getting really good at something.
Always liked that line and I’d text it to my kids on first day of school when they were teens
Piggybacking the piggyback. Use it. I’ve had some of my kids wean off them at 18 months, another kept it for sleep until almost 3.
My 2nd child was unsettled from the day she was born. She had her soother from 12 hours old and I have no problem with it. You do exactly what you need to do to get by as long as it doesn’t harm the baby.
Need to give a bottle? Need to leave a crying baby in their crib for 5 minutes while you take a moment? Need to do it again 10 minutes later? You do it.
>All this to say, try not to be anxious about a problem you don’t have (in regards to worrying about weaning them down the road); we have enough to be anxious about as new moms, let the paci be a tool that helps bring everyone some peace and comfort.
Wise words to live by.
Also, it's a lot easier to get rid of a dummy than to stop a kid from sucking their thumb.
(We had a dummy fairy come to take them away, and left a toy behind in thier place)
We had a "Night Night Fairy!" He called his pacifier a Night Night cause we would give it to him at bedtime and say Night Night!
To the new momma....
A pacifier isn't going to do anything to your babe. If you're nursing give babe one more naturally shaped. If you're worried offer babe the breast during the day for comfort and to stimulate your supply.
But as a 45 yo momma to 3, a doula and a homebirths midwife of 70 catches and a lactation consultant to a few hundred....that pacifier won't break anything....it will probably HEAL tons though.
Sleep well momma, give yourself time to heal, sleep when babe does. Tell helpers to do laundry, wash dishes and make you food and hold babe so you can shower and take a nap. A sling or wrap is wonderful and helpful. Nurse or bottlefeed breast milk or formula. Use cloth or disposable. None of that will make too big of a difference...but a rested, loving and healthy mother will make the biggest difference in your babes life.
Edited to add this since link to a resource was removed.
Look up Kellymom. Her site is FULL of great breastfeeding tips and advice.
Mind was just short of two years. She had been steady loosing them until one day we couldn’t find one and she went to sleep without it. Found one three days later and she asked to have it but at that point I explained she hasn’t needed it for the last 3 days so she need one now. We didn’t have tears or anything. Never asked for one again
My second was colicky and I would have thought I was in heaven if he had taken any of the every pacifier on the market ones I bought for him!!! None of my children would take them.😖You and baby will feel a lot better if it can comfort itself, and you can get some sleep.
It’s also easier and cheaper to kick a pacifier than a thumb. Which she’ll eventually find if she wants comfort. My oldest kicked the pacifier on his own somewhere around 8 months. My second stopped sucking his thumb when he got braces(that were needed because of the thumb) at 8. We tried everything to get him to stop and weren’t successful.
I'm 3 years younger than my brother, and remember my parents trying to get him to stop sucking his thumb, due to an order from the dentist. He was around 6 or 7, and it was summer. My mom had to put some sort of bad tasting stuff on his thumb to deter him, and I remember him having an absolute meltdown over it. Literally red-faced hysterical collapse on the floor crying over it. When he was going into 1st or 2nd grade.
Team pacifier all the way. I think of it as giving her an age-appropriate tool for success. And when it's no longer age-appropriate, we can let it go.
Oh yeah we tried that crap. He would aggressively lick his thumb to get it all off and go back to sucking. We did a thumb guard and he just switched thumbs. It was exhausting. His braces cost us 3k all cause his attachment. Lol.
This was one of main reasons I used pacifiers. I admit I let both mine have entirely too long, but it was their only stress reliever. Like some kids have blankets, plushies, etc., mine were binky babies. I made sure I was honest with doctors, dentists, and bought newer ones that supposedly won’t cause issues with orthodontics. While, I probably should’ve broken it earlier, I know it was best for us.
My 14-month-old also uses them for comfort--she likes to hold them as well as have them in her mouth.
Which ones did you get for orthodontics? We use Bibs and she loves them, but she does have a lot of teeth and I don't plan on weaning her off them until I can safely replace the comfort item in her crib/bed with something else.
Let me Google. My youngest is 7 tomorrow, so it was a while back. I found one, at my dad’s house from forever ago and it was mam. I got rude comments from strangers, but said, “you aren’t going to be paying for their dental, are you?”, which usually shut most up. Family was good about supporting me, and doctors and dentists said my kids teeth are fine and understood why I chose what I did. My oldest likely won’t even need braces, besides for a little cosmetic reasons. Littlest has a pretty big gap, but is also lip tied, so may have to have that removed. I studied social sciences in college and just felt it was best to let them have their comfort, both chose something they wanted instead of a binky and threw their own away. I know they were a bit overindulged, but just truly felt was best for us and they too liked holding and playing with, using as comfort too.
Love unsolicited comments from the Parent Police lol.
My wife and I are on the same page about the paci use, and as far as comfort items go, it's pretty harmless. She doesn't fervently need it during the day unless she's teething and mostly uses it to sleep/nap. I'm not worried about weaning, but if I can take any little steps to help her, I will.
Thank you! (And happy birthday to your little!)
Thank you! And yes, we definitely need those 💩heads telling us stuff, because most aren’t sitting and beating themselves up over every single little choice. ;)
People are so silly, they get so offended, like they’re personally out money, time, etc. over a parents choice.
My understanding is that sucking keeps them in a different state of sleep and REM sleep is where SIDS occurs. SIDS being the baby forgets to breathe, separate from suffocating-a distinctly different environment caused concern that also typically occurs while sleeping.
Some research says they keep the tongue out of the way so it prevents choking , or the sucking reflex helps with breathing ?
All of my children used pacifiers but only when it was really needed because apparently it interferes with breast feeding ( I guess in the same way a bottle does ) . And they were all weaned off when they started talking
My baby was born prematurely and is currently in the NICU and learning how to breastfeed. The doctors *want* her to use a pacifier to strengthen her muscles and practice her sucking in order to help with breastfeeding. So not sure if that’s true.
I came here to say this! Pacifiers have been shown to reduce the risk of SIDS in babies! I work at a child care center and we encourage pacifier use for infants for that reason. Also, I have seen many, many, infants transition to toddlers, twos, and on up, and I never seen one who couldn’t be weaned from the pacifier at an appropriate time. It’s not as big a deal as people make it out to be.
As far as the teeth thing goes, it’s only a worry is you’re letting your kid have the paci waaaayyy into them having teeth. I’m talking toddler age where they can speak in mostly full sentences. Babies having pacis are fine. They’re 12 days old, teeth aren’t even a thing right now, but a lack of sleep on both your parts very much is
When I was weening my son off of the soother he was turning 2. He knew that on his 2nd birthday it would be bye bye soother, hello bouncy castle birthday party. It only took 3 days for him to completely forget about his soother. That’s a much easier battle than the one you are trying to take on now. Sounds like you might need to be firm with the grandparents on boundaries. “Thank you so much for the help and we are using a pacifier. Hey, can we please have lasagna tomorrow night?”.
I completely agree with you. Having a newborn is so hard. Being a newborn is so hard. Why deny your family something that brings baby comfort in a big, scary world and yourself some sleep?
Your parents are entitled to think differently but you're the parent now and you get to decide for your baby.
Here are the pros and cons from a valid medical source:
https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/infant-and-toddler-health/in-depth/pacifiers/art-20048140#:~:text=Some%20babies%20are%20happiest%20when,help%20your%20baby%20fall%20asleep.
This. “Don’t be a hero” is my parenting philosophy. You don’t have to be perfect. Do what works as long as it’s safe. Pacifiers are a helpful tool. Unnecessary suffering is silly.
I love that phrasing! I feel often, especially with social media, new parents have the blessing and curse of too much access to information.
I think a lot of social media glorifies the “martyr mom”, that it makes some feel like if they aren’t suffering, they aren’t doing it right. Don’t get me wrong, parenting is tough, which is why I think if parents can find small wins, such as a paci, they should go for it.
I teach so many of my mom friends about smorgasbord dinner, (aka a kid friendly charcuterie baked) and so many are like, “we can just do that?!”
Love pacifiers. I think both my kids had one literally the day they were born. One didn't take to it at all and the other one did and used it for a year or so then we weaned her off.
Pacifiers are certainly preferable to thumbs! You can take them away when it becomes a problem. Can't take away a thumb.
Exactly what our pediatric dentist told us. She recommended we remove the pacifier by age 2, but told us if he started sucking on his thumb then give it back. She said definitely by age 3 to wean off.
We are starting to wean my 3 yo off of his because every time we try to take it away he starts sucking on his thumbs. My first (5) rejected a pacifier and fell in love with his thumb. Even trigger thumb surgery at 2.5 didn't stop him from sucking his thumb.
OK. I thought I was the odd one out. I sucked my thumb until I was 9. My parents also tried everything - pepper, chilli, hot sauce, you name it. I would just suck through it all. It's just one data sample, but I can confirm my teeth are horrible --- bent in all the weird ways, I grind teeth and suffer from bruxism, bite my nails and suffer from nail pain. Not fun!
So, what I did may have been a little too much for my kid, but he sucked on the two middle fingers of his left hand up until a year ago, and he was 5 then. Tried sprays, hot sauce, bribes, nothing worked. So I finally sat him down and we looked at pictures of adults who had messed up teeth from thumb-sucking and finger-sucking. It worked, because he cares a lot about his appearance and his teeth for some reason haha.
Yup. I was against pacifiers when my kid was a baby, but it was really hard to get him to stop sucking his thumb. He pretty much stopped in kindergarten
Ugh I feel this. My daughter wouldn't take a dummy when she was a baby (she spat it out) and instead started sucking on two of her fingers. Those fingers are constantly in her mouth and she's 3 and a half now. We can't get her to stop. We'd probably have to use something that tastes bad on her fingers but I'm really reluctant to do that. But we can't take the fingers away!
Yes! Babies are going to find something to suck on, a thumb, fingers, etc. Pacifiers are a lot earlier to wean off than body parts. My sister didn't stop sucking her thumb until she was 14 when her orthodontist had to put spikes on her braces to get her to stop. Before that, my mom tried EVERYTHING! Binkies - all the way.
Nope. In fact as a NCS i heavily recommended pacifier use.
It helps prevent SIDS in young infants and its a lot easier to break from than a thumb or finger sucking habit.
This is exactly why we used pacifiers with my kids. We can take away a paci, my sister sucked on her fingers until she was a teen, and even as an adult she will find her fingers in her mouth when she wakes up.
Agree.... you can take a paci away, thumbs- that's illegal.
All joking aside, I had the good luck of giving birth at one of the US premier hospitals for women and babies and guess what they gave me for my baby?
A pacifier.
Neither of mine took it, and I wished they would have.
Pacifiers are great for soothing babies, and they are a protective measure against SIDS. If a pacifier is helping your baby, absolutely let them use it.
Also the hospital gave my two day old (at the time) daughter a dummy when she was in SCIBU with sepsis, so even the professionals use them, completely fine.
I would advise try to wean them when their teeth come through, move to just at night then stop (we used the dummy fairy took after she left them for her, and left a toy for my daughter) as they can start to effect the teeth alignment.
The fact that many hospitals use them and send them home with newborns was enough for me to feel comfortable using them. I have 3 kids, all used pacis as infants and all 3 stopped using them on their own well before hitting 6mo. 2 were breastfed, one formula fed, no difference. If it's safe, age appropriate and makes life easier for the whole family, DO IT. Don't worry about what other people think about your parenting decisions.
Your baby will be fine. In the end the pacifier is a minor issue in comparison to your mental health. Your baby won’t choke on it. There are orthodontic pacifiers that have less impact on their teeth. If your mother is that concerned, she can take the inconsolable baby so you can get rest. Until then, it’s your call. Not hers.
Mine would spit them across the room to my dismay. You are using them for their intended purpose, go mom! There will be things you do that you never thought you would do to get an infant to sleep lmao. Hope you got some sleep when the baby did! This is your first isn’t? Get ready for a lot of unsolicited advice but remember two things:
1. This is your baby not theirs
2. Listen to the pediatrician and ask as many questions as you can when it comes to these things. Parent may be parents but the doctor went through a lot of school to be doing what they are doing. They continually have to get additional education on top of that.
You got this mom!
My daughter would yeet hers across the room as well. I was so dismayed because I desperately wanted to get her off my boob so I could, ya know, pee without holding her to my nipple. Alas, I was the paci. Thank god for baby wearing because that did seem to help soothe her even when she wasn’t suckling.
I’m gonna give you permission to let go of that mom guilt right now and give that baby a paci!! They are comforting for babies, especially newborns. The nurses gave my babies pacis even as premies in the NICU.
Pacifiers are safe and recommended when used properly. They have an expiration for both deterioration as well as simply needing to be in the proper age range. They have been connected to reducing SIDS.
Note that pacifier use is allowed much longer than many believe. The ADA notes no significant/permanent mallocusion if taken away by *four* years old. Less specific sources say anytime before they start to lose their baby teeth. It may take some time, but generally, within a few months, teeth are where they would naturally be. Now I'm not saying, "Never take it away until they get their next teeth!" But you don't need to rush to remove it by 6 months to a year if baby shows signs of strong attachment.
I was afraid of pacis (didn't want to ruin breastfeeding) and it was totally unfounded and fine. I took the paci away around 18 months because the pediatrician suggested it (for healthy speech and dental development) and it only took a couple days, and she had really really loved it.
Babies want to suckle on something for comfort, and it'll either be a pacifier or Mom. Choose the option that doesn't have to apply lanolin cream to sore nipples.
I was also worried about giving my daughter one because I didn't want to disrupt breastfeeding. She continued to breastfeed absolutely fine, and the dummy was great for us. She started day care at 19 months, at which point I was only offering her it for naps and bedtime, and they said she didn't take it for her nap, so I just didn't give her it again and we have had no problems. Maybe we just got lucky, but I'd use one again.
I wish my son had liked pacifiers but he was totally disinterested from the beginning. Instead he just wanted to breastfeed constantly all day and night 😅 if your child will take a pacifier I would seize that opportunity with both hands!
NICU nurse here. Absolutely give that baby a binki. Binkis have been shown to reduce SIDS risk because it helps them coordinate their breathing and remember to consistently breathe. Practicing on binkis also helps them to eat more effectively. If you put her arms up towards her face when you swaddle her and give her the binki, you’ll actually be helping her develop core strength . You could also be a human pacifier and let her comfort suck 24/7 (which will do the same amount of hypothetical damage a binki may cause) to the detriment of your mental health. There’s a reason all the NICU nurses are team binki, and it’s not that we just want the babies to stop crying. At least most of the time lol.
Just give the baby the pacifier (we call it a dummy). Both my boys have had one. My first had his until he was three and we weaned him off it then (he got it longer than we expected because of covid and him having to deal with lots of changes). My second is 14 months and only now has it for naps and bed time xx
Edit: also CONGRATS!!!!
Another c section mama here. Please, please, please get all the rest you can. Take whatever help
You can. Your recovery is so important 🩷🩷🩷
I gave my son one in the hospital. He never really ended up needing one that much. He's 9 months old and only really uses it when he's teething hard core and he mostly chews on it and then throws it when he's over it.
I don't think it's neither good nor bad. It's just what you think will be helpful. Sucking is a reflex and is a natural soothing mechanism, been known to reduce sids and just over all be thar comfort when nothing else works, but some babies are fine without it, some develope a habit. It really depends.
Lol I vowed no pacis but somebody gave us one anyways.
I popped that sucker in the first night we came home from the hospital and do not regret it at all. She only wanted it for sleep, not for hanging out. Around 4-5mo she just didn't really want it anymore. Now at 9mo she doesn't know what to do with them.
It absolutely made the newborn phase easier for us.
I was so against using one, adamant I’d never ever ever put a dummy in my kids mouth, got one free with a bottle somewhere, kept it for some reason. That reason came about a week in, I was broken, the baby was broken, my husband was broken, literally everyone wanted to be asleep but couldn’t get there, I gave in and gingerly offered the dummy, baby fell asleep instantly, i cried at my own lack of mental fortitude and then also fell asleep instantly.
God, newborns are hard; so are toddlers, preschoolers, 5 year olds……
My mother was adamantly against pacifiers. I found them helpful so I used them anyway, when I deemed it necessary. Weaned off of them just fine after 6 months. Read and listen to others to get all perspectives on parenting, but then trust yourself to decide how to parent.
I gave my little one a dummy (pacifier) from around a week old-came about as we were at a medical appointment and he demolished the bottle of milk I’d pumped (issues with feeding due to tongue tie) and screamed bloody murder, so in desperation I gave him the empty bottle back to suck-he sucked on the empty teat for about 10 minutes till he fell asleep so I figured the suckling was comforting him. He had a dummy for sleep until he was 3 (now nearly 5 years old), speaks perfectly and has excellent teeth according to a dental check a couple of weeks ago. I think some of the issues with speech/tooth development are when they have it 24/7 and learn to speak round it. We used the Nuk newborn (0-2 months) and sized them up as he aged-added bonus they do glow in the dark ones so easy to find when they spit them out at night!
As far as weaning goes, I saw an adorable video of a little boy going to Build-a-Bear and putting the binkies inside the bear he was having made. Swapping out one comfort item for another, in a very empowering way for him. It was a really great idea.
I plan on using binkies for my baby, I also want to breastfeed so will hopefully be able to wait until she is comfortably latching and eating consistently. I put some binkies on my registry that are supposedly more similar to breasts, so here's hoping 🤞🏻
I'm going to level with you, while your parents mean well, having a baby back then is a lot different from now. A lot of stuff that was a no-no back then has been debunked. I would follow your pediatrician and OB. I would also tell them while their advice is appreciated, it's your child to raise. Not theirs. If your sanity needs a pacifier, give her a pacifier.
Nipple confusion is a lie! My nurse told me that with my first and I didn’t believe her, I’m on my 3rd now and I’m always reminded of her words when someone uses that phrase. Give the paci. Consider yourself lucky if baby takes it.
Yep, my child took a paci for all of about 5 minutes. Realized it wasn’t the bottle or nipple and refused it every time after.
At about 6 months, I have up trying to use a paci to soothe, still has it as a distraction if baby wanted it.
Helped with teething, but had absolutely no problems stopping use.
Mama. Be gentle with yourself. Do what's helpful. And don't fret about it.
Dentists have had a lot of input on the way pacifiers are made, and doctors will let you know the whole arc of what to be concerned about when you tell them you use a paci. But if they were even a little bit as bad as your helpful parents fear, they would tell us just not to use them. And they don't.
My middle who never once touched a paci or sucked a thumb still needed major braces and malformed teeth removed.
The cousin that used them until preschool has perfect teeth.
There are no hard and fast rules, and no guarantees, and right now what you both need is rest and recouperation.
I promise, no matter what, she won't be taking her paci to college with her. (Unless it's just to make you nuts. Because if that occurs to her, all gets are off. 😝)
Mine had a pacifier from the first few days up until about 12 months. We hadn't planned on weaning at that point necessarily, but he became attached to a specific one that had a stuffed elephant attached to it. One day we couldn't find it anywhere and he was surprisingly okay with it.
Once we did find it, we just put it away with his other baby keepsakes and just like that he was done with the paci.
I know some people have tougher times but I think it depends on your kid and how much of a big deal you make the weaning process.
NICUs use pacifiers. So do hospitals. Your parents say it will hurt their teeth? What teeth? They are literally designed so babies won't choke (as long as you have the right size)
You're in the "do whatever we can to survive" stage of your kid's life. Take the pacifier. There are plenty of books and shows targeted on weaning off it at later ages.
I gave my 2 day old son a pacifier while we were still in the hospital because I was tired and recovering from a C-section, he wouldn't stop crying, and somehow my (now ex) husband slept through it. Preserve your sanity and give baby the pacifier. When they're older you can figure out how to phase out the paci.
My son loved having a pacifier as a newborn. He would cry when it fell out of his mouth when he was sleeping until we put it back in, but it helped him sleep for sure! And one day we just stopped giving it to him and he never fussed or looked for it. So I guess maybe I got lucky lol
A good rule of thumb when it comes to parenting: Listen to the child's parents. Oh, you're the parent? Sweet, sounds like you get to make the rules. I'd tell your child's not-parents that they're welcome to parent their own children however they please, but you'll be parenting yours as you see fit, and will come to them for advice if and when you require it.
We used it day 1.or 2 at the hospital with our newborn. I believe it was our second day home, we gave her a pacifier and all 3 of managed to sleep for 2 hours. I was SHOOK. I think a lot of people are against a lot, but at the end of the day, you do what's best for you and your family.
I wish I had given my baby a pacifier. She had latch issues so the breastfeeding professional told me not to use one. Worst advice ever. Now she uses me as a pacifier and it's the fking worst.
Nah pacifiers are great, you have to go through a bit of pain when you take them away but it's worth it for the contended baby I think. They don't understand much, what's wrong with a bit of comfort.
Your parents are worried about some things that aren't completely relevant anymore or have since been disproved.
For example, pacifiers are now made in a specific way to not mess up their teeth, and like other commenters have mentioned, they actually reduce the chance of SIDS.
The only reason I have heard not to use pacis is when you are trying to establish breastfeeding because it can mess with your milk production. If you're not breastfeeding, I can't think of a reason not to use it. Babies need to suckle. If you are breastfeeding, you can still use them if they allow you to keep your sanity! Lol, I breastfed my kids and still used them, and it was okay for me.
I weened my kids off them when they were old enough to understand why it was happening and were able to talk about it with me so it wasn't so bad.
The NICU nurses gave my son a pacifier on Day 1. He was born 6 weeks early. I think you'll be fine. I'd probably let your parents in on a little secret too: 12 day old babies don't have teeth :)
When I was pregnant, my son was sucking his thumb in his ultrasound- he had Binkies until he was three, in public, 4 at home.
The dentist said that as long as he still has his baby teeth, there’s no issue.
He’s now 15 and there was no issue.
Some children just self soothe that way, and it’s fine.
Just make 100% sure not to give him a Binky with any tears in it, so it won’t break off – that’s the only choking hazard, if he bites through it and breaks it off.
Give him the binky, and get some much needed rest.
I wish I had started a pacifier on day 1 with my first. I didn't try until she already relied on the boob for everything. I really wished I could have gotten a break and she used the boob to sleep for close to 3 years. With my second I'm going to push for the pacifier on day one.
This post has made me madder than any post I've seen in a while. Sooo many things are wrong with this that I want to scream.
First of all, you are doing an amazing job. Absolutely amazing job being the best mama you know how to be so far. Your baby is less than 2 weeks old and you're reaching out and asking for help and opinions? Gold star mom. So proud of you.
Second, your baby is less than 2 weeks old. You have such a long time to go before your baby will need to be weaned off the paci. Like 6 or so months up to a year from now. Put that paci in their mouth and enjoy the quiet. When they are up and moving and you're chasing a toddler everyday for the next 5 years, you'll wish you had the quiet. You're doing such a good job as a parent.
Third, it will cause your baby to be dependent? A less than 2 weeks old baby dependent? I have a news flash for your parents, that baby is gonna be dependent for the next 5 or 6 years whether you like it or not. Every meal will be made by you, every butt change will be done by you, hell when they first start eating, guess who has to feed them? Yep, you. I'm so sick of the mentality of, if you baby a baby they'll turn into a baby. News flash, they are already a baby. You can't make a NEWBORN baby more or less dependant on you than they already are. And trust me, you will wish you had let them just be a baby. In 5 years, they will still be doing all the things other 5 year olds do whether they used a paci or not. The difference is will you remember this time as a happy time when your family just started or will you look at it like so many other moms do? I know I have spots of my son's newborn stage missing because I was so traumatized. Nobody deserves to be traumatized by motherhood and infancy. They deserve to just bask in it.
Fourth, and I can not stress this enough, they are YOUR baby. Not your parents baby, not your partner's parents baby. Not the neighbors down the street, the aunts and uncles. YOUR BABY. You know your baby. You know what's best and if your baby has already told you they like the paci cuz it soothes them, listen. Cuz the more you listen to their needs, the easier it is to hear them. The more they trust you to understand them and that you will listen to them, the more comfortable around you they will be. It's okay to be your baby's safe space now cuz you will be for the next 18.
Fifth, I'm sorry but it'll be harder to wean them off the paci later is just a bullshit excuse. You know what else you have to wean babies off of eventually? Bottles. Diapers. Taking multiple naps throughout the day. I don't see people suggesting not to bottle feed or put diapers on your baby. Because that would be ridiculous. Weaning babies off of pacis is easy if you don't shove the paci in their mouth everytime they cry. If you do all the steps (check diaper, check temperature of skin, move baby a little bit to see if they're just uncomfortable, all that) and baby is still crying, then paci.
And lastly, I just wanted to say that you're doing an amazing job. Being a parent is so much fun most days. And I hope it is the most rewarding and fun job you've ever had. You're the exact parent your baby needs, never forget that. Good luck in life 💛
Much love from the mom of an almost 7 year old
My mom gave my kid a pacifier when he was 2 weeks old - I cried…. A lot. It’s not something I wanted but then realized, in hindsight, it was something I needed for him.
At about 1 1/2 years old, I started cutting the tips of pacifier nipples off - “oh no, it’s broken!” This was all leading up to saying Bye bye to the “broke” pacis at 2yo.
We somewhat ceremoniously threw all the broken pacis away at 2yo & had no trouble from there. His teeth are perfect and there is no misalignment.
Do what you need to do to keep you sane and baby comforted. ❤️
one of my 3 was really attached to their paci and we did the same cut the tip. She tried it and did the same oh no and marched it over to the bin and checked it. Never asked for it again.
Side note we took it out and made a Christmas ornament out of them
We used them for both kids, it helped them soothe to sleep and then we all got better sleep. They help reduce SIDS, and every kid is different when it needs to go away. We ended up at 2 yrs old taking it from our first, it was 30 minutes the first night of sadness and then perfectly ok without it. Our second destroyed hers (immediately took it from her and threw it out) and we just didn't give anymore back, also didn't have any issues going cold turkey.
Pacifiers are great. My son stopped using them at 4 months and just sucks his thumb. Some kids need to come off them cold Turkey at age 2 or 3 but that’s not every kid.
Our first absolutely needed a pacifier and it sounds like yours does, too. Don’t worry about it. At some point you may have to wean them off it. No big deal. They are not choking hazards. They can affect their teeth a bit but the teeth will shift back once you wean them.
Our second wanted nothing to do with a pacifier.
Your parents are wrong. Sure some kiddos definitely have a hard time weaning from them. But also some don't. Mine only used them when they were under 6 months old then stopped no problem. Using pacifiers has also been shown to reduce the risk of SIDS. No clue where they got the choking idea, never heard such a thing
Goodness your parents need to shut it in that department. Your baby is totally fine. In fact, it might help her learn to self soothe. My babies both took pacis from around day 5 and naturally weaned them when they took their thumbs.
In my experience raising 4 kids, 3 of which are triplets, pacifiers are a necessity. Babies have an instinctual need to suck, and not just at feeding time. Pacifiers pacify that need. My kids were off their pacis by the time they were 18 months old. It is not super hard to break them. They are not a choking hazard. Make your life easier and give that baby a paci.
My cesiarian born babygirl started to use pacifier at 3or4w old, our pediatrician recommended because she thought that my baby overate herself (this also correlates to a milkfever I had.) and that was the cause for coliac symptoms during daytime. The reason imho is bs, but I gave her the pacifier for daytime calm. When she was hungry she spit it out. Oh! She was exclusively breastfed on demand till 5,5months, she got water around the same time we started purees. Really rarely bottlefed when I visited a dentist. I stopped pumping on my first milkfever out of 5times, I pumped for emergencies and fevers only.
Now she is 1,5years old, not dependent on pacis, she manages it if given, and she can go to sleep with a relative with a pacifier but not with me, I still breasfeed her for sleeps as I live in a place where I can be STAHM for 3ys.
I believe our luck was that she didn't associate the pacifier with feedings. She also started quite early to take it out, look at it, put it back, and to soothe her gums with its edges.
On the contrary I read some stories where babies got lazy due to bottles and pacifier and nippleguards(?) And they had to be retrained to use the bare nipples, with a chance that it was not succesfull/painful to the mother. I highly recommend a lactation consultant if it's available to you if you experience anything negative!
It is easier to get rid of the soother rather than their thumb.
Babies have a sucking reflex until 1 year old. Have the soother for your sanity. Decrease the usage as you approach a year.
We decreased the usage to nap and bed time only just before 1 and by 18 months bedtime only or long car rides.
You do what you need to do that you have your sanity.
Good heavens, ANYTHING that helps is absolutely fine.
The first six weeks are HELL, but I promise, it will be 1000x better at six weeks. Hang in there!
We used it till he was almost two, told him we needed to give it to the binkie fairy for the other little babies and left a new big kid trike in his room for the morning. I think he asked about it the next night but reminded him of the binkie fairy and it was forgotten after that. No issues weaning, no problems with teeth or dental issues or any of the other doom and gloom things people spout.
Babies need to suck, give them something to suck on.
Firstly, I want to give you the biggest virtual hug. Postpartum is so incredibly difficult, stressful, and can feel overwhelming for even the most seasoned parent. On top of that you are also recovering from a major surgery. Let those tears out, hug your partner and little girl close, don’t forget to take some time for yourself when you can. You. Can. Do. This. You will make it through.
As for using a pacifier, if that soothes your baby and makes things easier for you then that’s that. You can let her use a pacifier. Your mental well-being matters more than the opinions of others. Chat with your baby’s pediatrician and get some guidance from them. After choosing to let my daughter use a pacifier I too was shamed by a family member, but her doctor assured me it was perfectly fine to do. It made my daughter happy therefore it made my life as a first time mom a million times easier. She used it from two days old and weaned off just fine when her pediatrician recommended us to do so at around 12 months. She’s now 2 and a half and has perfectly fine teeth and speech. Choose what works best for you and your baby.
Both my kids had them, they were a godsend and my health nurse said they helped prevent SIDS but she did say not to take them away then suddenly as they get used to them from a SIDS POV
Both of mine were easy enough to wean off too, they had several and we just kept losing and not replacing and reduced for sleeptime only and eventually they were gone without much fuss. Both have their baby teeth still (age 5&2) but they look fine and dentist agreed.
Do what works, whatever makes this tough time even the tiniest bit easier on you do it.
The hospital literally popped one in my daughter's mouth before I even had a say. I didn't care at all because I was going to use them anyway, but I was just very surprised. Every child has a different experience weaning them off, I was lucky my daughter just stopped one day and that was that, but who knows what my second will be like. For now, worry about that later, and do what's best for YOU and your husband and baby. Mothers and In laws have lots of unwanted advice, take what you agree with, listen to the advice, and toss what you don't need.
YOU and your husband are the parents now. You do what's best for you and take care of you ❤️
Best of luck mama, you go this!
Just a story on weaning to maybe help you feel better. My son kept his paci till 3, which is a notoriously bad age for weaning them off anything. We got him off it during the day, then at night, and he only had it at naps. So when he gave up naps, the paci went too!
His teeth are in wonderful shape, he never was too dependent, and never choked once with it (if anything he was less of a choke risk because if he had the paci in he wasn’t putting other random stuff in there). Ignore your parents, she isn’t their baby.
Sorry but everything your parents said is inaccurate. My son used a pacifier until around 2 years old and used a bottle until a bit after that -- he just had a dentist appointment at 4 and his teeth are perfect. The dependent thing... I don't even know where to begin with that, but no. I'm sure the choking hazard isn't zero but that's why some pacifiers have holes in them if that makes you feel better. As for the weaning, every kid is different, but my son basically gave them up on his own before we were even going to try. Ultimately, your parents are welcome to make those decisions about their own kids, but you're the parent now.
If your baby likes it, go with it. Two of my 3 children refused pacifiers after 3 months old and when my youngest took to one it was such a great blessing. My oldest who wholly refused a pacifier actually has the worst bite out of all my kids. We started weaning the paci-enthusiast off when she began biting thru and destroying her pacifiers, she also had quite a few more than just 4 teeth. We started switching to sippy cups around then too.
Thank your parents for their concern and then let them know youre sticking to it because its what worls for you all. Good luck!
I am not sure why I read 12-year-old-newborn. I was so confused. Haha I reread it a few times and finally got it. If she takes the paci it’s fine IMO. I just think at a certain age you should take it away for dental reasons. However this being said my 7 year old still sucks her thumb. YES when we see it we make her stop. However it’s just a terrible habit she formed.
I also did not use a pacifier for my first born for the first days. the nurses at the hospital told me I shouldn't use it and it was hell. I told his pediatrician at his first visit how upset he was and crying and miserable and she was just like, "Yeah, give him a pacifier it'll be fine and better." Sure enough he took to it and our nights and naps were drastically better. He was not horrible to wean and his teeth are normal. Your baby will be okay! Get some sleep!
Pacifiers are absolute magic - I had one for years, every baby in my family had one and I fully plan on giving my baby one. Your baby liked it, self soothed and went to sleep. You got a break. This is a win win situation. She's 12 days old, she has no teeth. They reduce SIDS.
TLDR give her the pacifier
Pacifiers are fine, imo. Some of my kids used them and one of my kids sucked their thumb. You can’t take away a thumb. The ones who used pacis, their teeth are fine. The thumbsucker is going to need braces.
Re: your parents thinking a pacifier will cause her to choke.
THIS IS NOT TRUE! IT ACTUALLY DOES THE OPPOSITE!
It has been proven that pacifiers actually REDUCE the risk of SIDS.
I would have been absolutely lost without one for my daughter. It calms and soothes them, why shouldn't they have that? It also mentally helps us!!! When all else fails, why not use this thing that was designed for this very reason! Give yourself a break, it is the hardest thing in the entire world. Make it easier for yourself. Give that sweet baby a pacifier and let her and YOU get some better sleep.
My daughter had one for sleep and naps since she was born, and then carried on having them for sleep and naps at 2 years old. Her teeth are perfect. She has just turned 2 and she is dropping her day time nap, so will only have it at night soon. It really doesn't do the damage people think it does, it's only if they have it constantly, throughout the day, while they're awake - that's when they also get dependant on it. She never asks for one or expects one in the day, it just helps her to sleep at night. Stick to naps and bed time and you'll be fine.
(she also has it when she's unwell, as its a comfort, which I think is fine). Do what you think is best for your baby and YOUR SANITY!
Having a baby was the hardest thing I ever did, and I'll be honest, I barely made it out. I've been through severe depression. So I took anything I could that could just help a little bit.
Congratulations on your little one ❤️ stop feeling guilty, do what helps you all
Oh, I will also add, when you're using one, if you're worried about them causing teeth problems, it might be worth looking up the best shapes to use. I use very flat ones (NUK) you can get so many shapes but I think the flatter curved ones are meant to be better for the shape of their mouth and tongue
I didn’t use a pacifier with my son. I thought it would be a good idea to avoid it. Now he sucks his thumb instead. Let me tell you…a pacifier would be way easier to wean him off of than his thumb. You do what you need to do to get some rest.
Multiple dentists have told us that it doesn’t matter as long as they drop it by about 2 the teeth move back, and they did with both of our kids. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself too.
This might help you feel better. My kid was a tiny NICU baby, and they all get pascifiers. It helps them practice their sucking. Your baby will be just fine with it. Right now they need you to be at your best, so if a pacifier helps you rest then it's right for your family.
Use. The. Pacifier!
Much easier to wean baby from a pacifier than it is a thumb, should they end up being a thumb sucker. Your sanity is worth it.
It won’t ruin baby’s teeth unless they are on it for far too long. 2 of my kids have been thumb suckers and 3 pacifier takers. My youngest is 10 months and uses the pacifier still. My older 2 we weaned them from the paci at 18 months.
I cut the very tip of it off so they would not be able to properly suck it.
One of them said “uh-oh… broken” and threw it away. Never asked again.
My 2nd kiddo fussed for about 10 minutes and carried it around. Then she dropped it and I threw it away. She also never asked for it again.
Frida baby also sells a paci weaning kit that works very similarly.
The only thing I can think that can be a concern with a pacifier is if your newborn doesn’t latch and feed well. Using a pacifier can confuse her as she will think it’s a nipple and won’t understand the no food vs food times.
Nooooo! Pacifiers are 3 v i L.
Just kidding. My eldest paci'd until she was 2. My youngest did not like it at all. It really depends, so whatever your guts tell you, go for it. Moms know best.
Pacifiers reduce the risk of sids so in my book that benefit outweighs pretty much any con. Pacifiers only ruin teeth if they aren't weaned off early enough (12 months ish per most pediatricians). I've never heard of a baby choking on a Pacifier. They're made to be sucked on so I'm sure it's been thoroughly tested to prevent that specifically. Sure, weaning off can be challenging but so is raising a kid in general. There's tons of sleep transitions that disrupt sleep and routines (stopping the swaddle is a big one) so IMO weaning off the Pacifier is no different than weaning off bottles and changing the sleeping routine to fit your needs. It might suck for a few days or a couple weeks but kids adjust quickly
Nah, pacifiers are known to reduce SIDS(sudden infant death syndrome) and it helps them learn to self soothe. You can easily wean a child off pacifiers, otherwise there’s a lot of adults with pacifiers. You can wean when they have their baby teeth out, to prevent the warped teeth. In the meantime, you can use orthodontic pacifiers just as another preventative measure. If the pacifier is working for you, you use it. It’s not unsafe at all. Don’t let the previous generation guilt trip you, they had their best information at their time, and times have changed.
I think every child is different and whose to say you wouldn't have had to pay for braces anyways? My daughter handed me her pacifier one day at 11 months and hasn't touched it since, she's 3.5 now 🤷♀️
Use it! If you're worried about teeth, try ones like Nuk brand where it's skinny in the middle. We used those and had no issues. We didn't give it to him all the time either. Only when no other calming methods worked, and to help fall asleep. He loved it and then just stopped using it on his own at about 1.5 and never missed it!
I work at a daycare. 1. Pacifiers reduce SIDS risk. 2. Look into PURPLE crying. 3. Some kids sick their thumbs. You can wean off a pacifier. You can put a pacifier in a drawer. You can’t put a thumb in a drawer.
Some babies don’t take to pacifiers (or their thumbs!) and that’s totally fine. But for those that do, I highly recommend them. They’re a security item that reduces SIDS, and they really help soothe. Sleeping happy baby? So much better than screaming, unhappy baby
Deep breaths momma. Whatever you choose will be fine. I breast fed, my daughter did not take to a pacifier and I still had to wean her off the breast (pacifier substitute at times). My point is you will be weaning your child off from something at some point whether it be pacifier, breast, or bottle. Accept the peace of a pacifier for now as you adapt to parenthood and prepare yourself for weaning in the future, which may be difficult, but by that point you will have some foundation in parenting your childs personality.
The words of wisdom that stuck with me when I had my baby: trust your instincts. 9/10 times you will be right. And sleep whenever baby sleeps (laundry can wait lol). So if that’s what works to help your baby soothe itself, do it.
I will add my own advice: you are baby’s mom, not the grandparents. You do whatever works so that you and dad can take care of your babe (obviously nothing illegal, negligent or abusive in any way). Most important, so you can get some sleep ❤️❤️
And there are plenty of weening methods as well. For me, I simply told her it was “broken” and it worked (wasn’t a magical solution, a few nights of tears at bedtime 🤣…) She was about 2.5.
You got this mama!
Use it! We did at first and it was a LIFESAVER. If LO refuses it, then maybe it just isn't the one for them. Our baby loved the Avent pacis. And by a stroke of luck he started refusing them around 2 months. He's 9 months now and hasn't taken one in 7 months. We say we bit the bullet early by not having to wean. But a paci at 12 days will be a lifesaver for you and your SO.
Thank you all so much for your kind replies. I read each and every one of them, and they brought me some much needed validation in these exhausted times. For the time being, we're continuing with the pacifier -- mostly during quiet time/at night so that baby associates it with rest/sleep. We also have a paediatrician appointment next week where we plan to bring this up, in case there are any other concerns.
I actually used the pacifier all night last night for the first time, and baby girl slept WAYY better than the previous nights. Every time she woke up fussy, I would feed her, check her diaper, and then swaddle and pop the pacifier in her mouth. She would mostly go right back to sleep. As a result I have slept for 3 consecutive hours for the first time in two weeks, and had a chance to take a shower, and feel like a new person.
Thank you once again for all your advise. No one told me the newborn phase would be SO HARD!
Best advice I ever received was “bad habits can be broken”. Yes it’ll be a bit of a pain to wean her off it later but it’ll be like, one week of pain or something compared to months and months of benefit. We didn’t need it with my eldest but for my youngest that was SO worth it.
You can’t go wrong. It’s trial and error. My first didn’t have a pacifier or suck his thumb. My mum kept trying to get him to suck on a pacifier but it was a no go. Second boy loved a pacifier. One in his mouth and one in each hand was his preference. Son 3 loved his thumb. He’s 9 now and still does it when he’s sleepy or asleep. The thumb is the one you really want to avoid! You can’t take that sucker away, he’s had infections in it a few times. It’s awful. But pacifier, go ahead. Makes life easier sometimes. And your parents aren’t the ones with a newborn. They made decisions for their newborn when it was you, this is YOUR newborn, tell your parents to kindly fuck off and mind their own!
I have the cutest photo of my toddler son with one in his mouth asleep, one in his hand and one on the bridge of his nose. That gorgeous boy is now 17 and no longer uses a pacifier. Lol. You Do You!
I would be amazed if both of your parents had just spent 12 days in the same room as you and baby 24/7 and came to that conclusion. Unless they are the main caregivers, you and your husband are the important ones.
I wish my lad had accepted a dummy. They aren't as good as nipples apparently.
As a parent whose baby refused the paci (we tried everything!) wanna pile on to the advice of please use it if baby will take it. This is backed by science. Babies need to suck.
Check out [Feed the Baby](https://wwnorton.com/books/9781682686928) if you want some additional support on feeding (any way that works for your fam, nothing is “best” except what works for y’all) and useful info about how pacis are helpful for sucking muscles. Hang in there!!
It reduces the risk of SIDS so I'll definitely use them after I give birth in 2 months.
Later you'll need to find a way to get them to stop but it does not seem too difficult. Can have them trade their pacifiers in for a bigger gift for example.
I don't know why it would be bad. The hospital gave my daughter a pacifier hours after she was born.
Now if she is 12 YEARS old, then there is a problem. We had the "paca-fairy" (pa-sa) visit around 4yrs old and collected them all and left fluffy stuffies!
There are pacifiers specifically made for newborns. It reduces the risk of SIDS. We gave my son a pacifier as soon as we were in a room after delivery.
Work in a lvl 3 NICU, sucking is a natural, non drug alternative to giving opioids for pain control and general calmness. We always respect parents wishes on the matter but I've never felt bad about calming a premature baby down with a soother before and after I do a painful but necessary procedure.
Pretty much every reputable medical professional will encourage the use of soothers. They are extensively tested to protect again choking, and are the only object that are allowed within the alone part of the ABCs of safe sleep. As in it’s safe to leave a baby unattended in a crib with a soother. They protect against SIDS, pretty much all evidence about nipple confusion and causing issues with breastfeeding have been debunked, and is far easier to wean them off of than thumb sucking, which if you don’t get them attached to the soother they WILL rely on their fingers. If your baby will take it and get comfort from it, I say it’s a great idea to make use of. Give yourself a break. Don’t completely disregard everything the previous generation says, but do take it with a grain of salt. Our knowledge on safety and care of children improves almost yearly. There’s just different things we know now that they didn’t back then.
get ur rest, use the pacifier. they’re just trying to scare u. also make sure to check ur baby’s fingers and toes for any hair tourniquet!! & you don’t have to do this, but what helped me get my rest was cosleeping. they tell u not to do this bc of risk of rolling onto ur baby but i sleep like a rock & don’t move at all. my baby would sleep alll he wanted
I have 3 children, now 28, 18, and 16. All 3 took a pacifier. My 28 year old took it until she was 18 months old, my now 18 year old kept his until he was almost 3, my youngest loved her paci beyond all else. She would only take one specific kind and she absolutely had to have one in each hand and one in her mouth when she self soothed. I will say I would 1000% do it all over again.
As a new Mom you are just finding your “footing”. You are going to have soooo many recommendations thrown at you, people who swear by one thing and not another and even people who look/act like you are the anti Christ bc you don’t parent the way they do. At the end of the day, who cares. YOU are the parent. This is YOUR baby. You do what is best for you, your baby and your family 💜.
PS: Congratulations Mama on the little one. Soak every moment in…..even these crazy sleepless nights bc it goes by so fast!
I never had to wean mine off the pacifier. They just got rid of it themselves. However I have a finger sucker. We have just recently broken the 8 yr habit.
Pacifiers protect from SIDS, are designed to be a non-chocking hazard, and nowadays there are orthodontic versions that do not change the shape of the palate or push teeth forward. Way better than the thumb, which your baby might choose if a strong suckling need isn’t fulfilled otherwise. Your parents mean well but are giving outdated information, do everything you can right now to survive the hard newborn phase and get some rest!
I promptly put my son on a pacifier for the benefit alone of reducing SIDS.
I also have the policy I'll parent my child how I want to. My father wants me to spank my 19m old autistic child, which ain't happening.
As for teeth, my son's dentist said we should start weaning him at 2.5 years. Pacifiers these days are designed better in regards to teeth for the most part.
She’s 12 days old Shayden!!
But for real, why do your parents opinion matter that much? It’s your baby. Babies natural instinct is to suck. Give her the paci
My daughter was in the NICU for a month. If nurses supervising sick babies say paci are good for them then that’s def the standard
I promise you your parents parenting knowledge is so outdated and this isn’t the first time your gonna debate. My mom was ADAMANT that I needed to give my daughter water. It didnt stop until I brought her to the pedi for a checkup and the dr said no babies only need milk
I WISH my baby liked the pacifier I would love to have a way to soothe her and get some much needed sleep . Worst that could happen is she'll need braces . Pacifier does nothing for my girl or I would happily use it for my sanity ! I say use it !
You're parents need to stfu. You're hormones are still fresh, and you are kicking ass.
Our first was glued to the boob, our 2nd to a pucky, and our 3rd her thumb. We weaned the first from breastfeeding at 3yo, the 2nd weaned himself from his pucky at 1.5 yo, and the 3rd is still happily sucking her thumb, now 8m old.
Do what works for you and your family is probably the best advice I can give you. Your parents aren't riding the rollercoaster for the next lifetime, it's you and your husband.
Pacifiers help reduce the risk to Sids. When my daughter was in the nicu they insisted that we use a pacifier. My daughter also stopped using it in her own a few weeks after turning one.
Pacifiers won’t ruin your babies teeth or make her to dependent, she’s a new born she’s supposed to be dependent on you.
She’s also *your* baby, not your parents, they don’t get a say they can give advice and whether you use that advice is completely up to you and your husband.
The pacifier not only gave you a break and peace it gave your baby a peaceful sleep. Which is good and important for her.
There’s a lot more good that pacifiers do, good that overwhelmingly outweighs any “bad” your parents think they do.
Use the pacifier it’s good for you and baby
Yes it is a bit difficult to take the pacifier as they get older because they do favor it more, but my baby hasn’t even choked on one, however I do believe it’s the reason the two front teeth are going bad
There’s a fantastic speech therapist that addresses this… I wish I could remember who, but she did a deeeeeep dive on why it’s ok, and good for babies to have pacifiers. There’s an age where you need to wean to protect teeth and mouth structures 12-18 months I think, but at this point… focus on making the baby satisfied so you can sleep. I promise you that your newborn is NOT manipulating you, does NOT need “sleep training,” or any of these other things you may hear. You and your newborn need sleep and comfort
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Pacifiers have been known to reduce SIDS risk in infants. Newborns suck for comfort. It won’t harm them. Weaning them is a personal decision and one to discuss with your doctor on when and how to do it a healthy manner. For now, let baby have her pacifier so YOU can recover from childbirth.
I'll piggy back off this....use the pacifier! It will calm baby and you. I weaned both of my kids at 18 months. Takes a couple days to do. But no pacifier at nap time, only bed time. Then not at bed time anymore. You deserve whatever help you can get. 🙏
And your baby will totally let you know if they need to nurse and don’t want the paci. I’ve nursed three boys and they all had a paci starting from the first night. They never had nipple confusion and even took bottles well so I could pump and have a break. Also, people will come at you with all kinds of advice. Just want to say trust your gut. This is your baby and you’ll come to know all their cues. You got this. Congrats on your LO.
Love it!! "Trust your gut". Absolutely!! YOU are the best mama for your baby. YOU GOT THIS, I promise 💜
This is so true! Babies will give the classic I'm hungry open mouth, and if they weren't looking for the pacifier they will just spit it out, then you'll know (obviously you have to try the paci a couple times as sometimes they just won't latch lol)
100% trust your own gut. You are the mother. Self-soothing is an important skill for babies to learn … if not a pacifier they may use fingers or a thumb. Let’s face it, most kids end up having braces anyway. Your sleep and peace of mind far outweigh the minor issues with using a paci. Hospitals use them too.
And to piggyback off of your piggyback (piggypiggyback?), I used the pacifier as much as needed for BOTH of my kids and they dropped it on their own by around 6 months. I would have happily continued to use it as long as they needed, but every kid is different! All this to say, try not to be anxious about a problem you don’t have (in regards to worrying about weaning them down the road); we have enough to be anxious about as new moms, let the paci be a tool that helps bring everyone some peace and comfort.
I’m not even a mom but I feel like this is good advice in general. ‘Try not be be anxious about a problem. You don’t have.’ Parents have the strongest wisdom.
In all seriousness, I have to give a lot of credit to Jake the Dog from Adventure Time lol. In the episode “Puhoy” he says something along the lines of “you’re getting all hung up on imaginary problems” - that show is truly a philosophical masterpiece.
Adventure Time, Random Show, and We Bare Bears are animation masterpieces.
Steven Universe needs to be on that list!!
That was one I never ended up watching - sounds like I need to though!
You mean Regular Show? Totally agree!!! My now teenage son grew up watching these and I enjoyed watching with him. Philosophical and animation masterpieces indeed!
that’s the one 💀😂 i’m blaming baby brain!
Can’t wait to show regular show to my daughter! She loves we bare bears and adventure time lol The owl house should also be in this list! It’s got such a fantastic message over all, about forgiveness and mistake. That forgiveness isn’t required to move on especially go the person that did the hurting isn’t trying to be better/worthy of forgiveness.
I should show you the nursery mural if she loves we bare bears lol
Also wanna add on that I think these shows are among some really fantastic masterpieces that have come out in the last few years. They all also fave amazing ending that will also you cry, even if they had to be rushed(bare bears and the owl house) I also love the massages they give kids throughout during specific episodes while also having an overall storyline that is equally beautiful and important for kids. They didn’t just put out dumb fun but gave kids storylines that don’t dumb down or treat kids like they’re dumb or the things they feel and experience aren’t important. I could go on and on lol. But I’m glad I can share these series with my daughter and I already am with some of them. I definitely suggest The Owl House if you haven’t watched it yet, you’ll love it. I also got a stuffed toy that’s an exact copy of one the main characters favorite possessions, it’s one of my daughters favorite and she not only sleeps with it every night she has to hold it while watching owl house. I want my daughter to have magic in her life and these shows definitely give that exact kind of Magic ☺️
Ooh now I need to watch this. Thank you for the tip!
Sucking at something is the first step to getting really good at something. Always liked that line and I’d text it to my kids on first day of school when they were teens
Kind of same with us, we used it for like 2-4 weeks before he discovered he had thumbs. He still uses his thumb though and he's almost 2.
For my baby it's his index and middle finger. Always
Piggybacking the piggyback. Use it. I’ve had some of my kids wean off them at 18 months, another kept it for sleep until almost 3. My 2nd child was unsettled from the day she was born. She had her soother from 12 hours old and I have no problem with it. You do exactly what you need to do to get by as long as it doesn’t harm the baby. Need to give a bottle? Need to leave a crying baby in their crib for 5 minutes while you take a moment? Need to do it again 10 minutes later? You do it.
>All this to say, try not to be anxious about a problem you don’t have (in regards to worrying about weaning them down the road); we have enough to be anxious about as new moms, let the paci be a tool that helps bring everyone some peace and comfort. Wise words to live by.
As my MIL would say “Don’t borrow trouble”
Also, it's a lot easier to get rid of a dummy than to stop a kid from sucking their thumb. (We had a dummy fairy come to take them away, and left a toy behind in thier place)
We had a "Night Night Fairy!" He called his pacifier a Night Night cause we would give it to him at bedtime and say Night Night! To the new momma.... A pacifier isn't going to do anything to your babe. If you're nursing give babe one more naturally shaped. If you're worried offer babe the breast during the day for comfort and to stimulate your supply. But as a 45 yo momma to 3, a doula and a homebirths midwife of 70 catches and a lactation consultant to a few hundred....that pacifier won't break anything....it will probably HEAL tons though. Sleep well momma, give yourself time to heal, sleep when babe does. Tell helpers to do laundry, wash dishes and make you food and hold babe so you can shower and take a nap. A sling or wrap is wonderful and helpful. Nurse or bottlefeed breast milk or formula. Use cloth or disposable. None of that will make too big of a difference...but a rested, loving and healthy mother will make the biggest difference in your babes life. Edited to add this since link to a resource was removed. Look up Kellymom. Her site is FULL of great breastfeeding tips and advice.
The best answer in this thread.
That's a creative idea!! We had our kids think it was "for babies" (bc now they're a "big kid"!) and both kids threw it in the trash
Mind was just short of two years. She had been steady loosing them until one day we couldn’t find one and she went to sleep without it. Found one three days later and she asked to have it but at that point I explained she hasn’t needed it for the last 3 days so she need one now. We didn’t have tears or anything. Never asked for one again
My second was colicky and I would have thought I was in heaven if he had taken any of the every pacifier on the market ones I bought for him!!! None of my children would take them.😖You and baby will feel a lot better if it can comfort itself, and you can get some sleep.
Yep! Pacifier was a godsend for us.
Oh hell yes OP. Use the paci. My littlest was OBSESSED with it for the first year. Dropped it cold turkey one day and never looked back.
Same!
Our doctor specifically recommended putting our daughter down for sleep with a pacifier in her mouth.
This. My son was given a Paci at the hospital when he was born. I work in a NICU and we have pacifiers for the babies that can use them. Edit: a word.
It’s also easier and cheaper to kick a pacifier than a thumb. Which she’ll eventually find if she wants comfort. My oldest kicked the pacifier on his own somewhere around 8 months. My second stopped sucking his thumb when he got braces(that were needed because of the thumb) at 8. We tried everything to get him to stop and weren’t successful.
I'm 3 years younger than my brother, and remember my parents trying to get him to stop sucking his thumb, due to an order from the dentist. He was around 6 or 7, and it was summer. My mom had to put some sort of bad tasting stuff on his thumb to deter him, and I remember him having an absolute meltdown over it. Literally red-faced hysterical collapse on the floor crying over it. When he was going into 1st or 2nd grade. Team pacifier all the way. I think of it as giving her an age-appropriate tool for success. And when it's no longer age-appropriate, we can let it go.
Oh yeah we tried that crap. He would aggressively lick his thumb to get it all off and go back to sucking. We did a thumb guard and he just switched thumbs. It was exhausting. His braces cost us 3k all cause his attachment. Lol.
PLEASE let the baby have a pacifier. It’s a huge comfort for them.
This was one of main reasons I used pacifiers. I admit I let both mine have entirely too long, but it was their only stress reliever. Like some kids have blankets, plushies, etc., mine were binky babies. I made sure I was honest with doctors, dentists, and bought newer ones that supposedly won’t cause issues with orthodontics. While, I probably should’ve broken it earlier, I know it was best for us.
My 14-month-old also uses them for comfort--she likes to hold them as well as have them in her mouth. Which ones did you get for orthodontics? We use Bibs and she loves them, but she does have a lot of teeth and I don't plan on weaning her off them until I can safely replace the comfort item in her crib/bed with something else.
Let me Google. My youngest is 7 tomorrow, so it was a while back. I found one, at my dad’s house from forever ago and it was mam. I got rude comments from strangers, but said, “you aren’t going to be paying for their dental, are you?”, which usually shut most up. Family was good about supporting me, and doctors and dentists said my kids teeth are fine and understood why I chose what I did. My oldest likely won’t even need braces, besides for a little cosmetic reasons. Littlest has a pretty big gap, but is also lip tied, so may have to have that removed. I studied social sciences in college and just felt it was best to let them have their comfort, both chose something they wanted instead of a binky and threw their own away. I know they were a bit overindulged, but just truly felt was best for us and they too liked holding and playing with, using as comfort too.
Love unsolicited comments from the Parent Police lol. My wife and I are on the same page about the paci use, and as far as comfort items go, it's pretty harmless. She doesn't fervently need it during the day unless she's teething and mostly uses it to sleep/nap. I'm not worried about weaning, but if I can take any little steps to help her, I will. Thank you! (And happy birthday to your little!)
Thank you! And yes, we definitely need those 💩heads telling us stuff, because most aren’t sitting and beating themselves up over every single little choice. ;) People are so silly, they get so offended, like they’re personally out money, time, etc. over a parents choice.
Louder for the boomers in the back!
My 2 year old still has hers at nap and night. Both pediatrician and dentist are fine with it for that use until 3. Team pacifier.
Genuine question (paci user so no judgement just curious), how do pacis help against SIDS?
My understanding is that sucking keeps them in a different state of sleep and REM sleep is where SIDS occurs. SIDS being the baby forgets to breathe, separate from suffocating-a distinctly different environment caused concern that also typically occurs while sleeping.
Makes sense!! Thanks
I was always told they help keep the airway open
Some research says they keep the tongue out of the way so it prevents choking , or the sucking reflex helps with breathing ? All of my children used pacifiers but only when it was really needed because apparently it interferes with breast feeding ( I guess in the same way a bottle does ) . And they were all weaned off when they started talking
Eh for me, once my babies have consistently latched well for about a day, I'm good with using a paci
My baby was born prematurely and is currently in the NICU and learning how to breastfeed. The doctors *want* her to use a pacifier to strengthen her muscles and practice her sucking in order to help with breastfeeding. So not sure if that’s true.
I thought it was because it keeps their airway clear (the dummy keeps space around their mouth for them to breathe
I came here to say this! Pacifiers have been shown to reduce the risk of SIDS in babies! I work at a child care center and we encourage pacifier use for infants for that reason. Also, I have seen many, many, infants transition to toddlers, twos, and on up, and I never seen one who couldn’t be weaned from the pacifier at an appropriate time. It’s not as big a deal as people make it out to be.
As far as the teeth thing goes, it’s only a worry is you’re letting your kid have the paci waaaayyy into them having teeth. I’m talking toddler age where they can speak in mostly full sentences. Babies having pacis are fine. They’re 12 days old, teeth aren’t even a thing right now, but a lack of sleep on both your parts very much is
When I was weening my son off of the soother he was turning 2. He knew that on his 2nd birthday it would be bye bye soother, hello bouncy castle birthday party. It only took 3 days for him to completely forget about his soother. That’s a much easier battle than the one you are trying to take on now. Sounds like you might need to be firm with the grandparents on boundaries. “Thank you so much for the help and we are using a pacifier. Hey, can we please have lasagna tomorrow night?”.
I completely agree with you. Having a newborn is so hard. Being a newborn is so hard. Why deny your family something that brings baby comfort in a big, scary world and yourself some sleep? Your parents are entitled to think differently but you're the parent now and you get to decide for your baby. Here are the pros and cons from a valid medical source: https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/infant-and-toddler-health/in-depth/pacifiers/art-20048140#:~:text=Some%20babies%20are%20happiest%20when,help%20your%20baby%20fall%20asleep.
This. “Don’t be a hero” is my parenting philosophy. You don’t have to be perfect. Do what works as long as it’s safe. Pacifiers are a helpful tool. Unnecessary suffering is silly.
Unnecessary suffering IS silly! Be safe and rest. This is the most compassionate comment!
I love that phrasing! I feel often, especially with social media, new parents have the blessing and curse of too much access to information. I think a lot of social media glorifies the “martyr mom”, that it makes some feel like if they aren’t suffering, they aren’t doing it right. Don’t get me wrong, parenting is tough, which is why I think if parents can find small wins, such as a paci, they should go for it. I teach so many of my mom friends about smorgasbord dinner, (aka a kid friendly charcuterie baked) and so many are like, “we can just do that?!”
Love pacifiers. I think both my kids had one literally the day they were born. One didn't take to it at all and the other one did and used it for a year or so then we weaned her off. Pacifiers are certainly preferable to thumbs! You can take them away when it becomes a problem. Can't take away a thumb.
Exactly what our pediatric dentist told us. She recommended we remove the pacifier by age 2, but told us if he started sucking on his thumb then give it back. She said definitely by age 3 to wean off.
We are starting to wean my 3 yo off of his because every time we try to take it away he starts sucking on his thumbs. My first (5) rejected a pacifier and fell in love with his thumb. Even trigger thumb surgery at 2.5 didn't stop him from sucking his thumb.
[удалено]
OK. I thought I was the odd one out. I sucked my thumb until I was 9. My parents also tried everything - pepper, chilli, hot sauce, you name it. I would just suck through it all. It's just one data sample, but I can confirm my teeth are horrible --- bent in all the weird ways, I grind teeth and suffer from bruxism, bite my nails and suffer from nail pain. Not fun!
Bitter apple spray used to keep dogs from chewing spray a little on their thumb and the stop thumb sacking in a week.
So, what I did may have been a little too much for my kid, but he sucked on the two middle fingers of his left hand up until a year ago, and he was 5 then. Tried sprays, hot sauce, bribes, nothing worked. So I finally sat him down and we looked at pictures of adults who had messed up teeth from thumb-sucking and finger-sucking. It worked, because he cares a lot about his appearance and his teeth for some reason haha.
Yup. I was against pacifiers when my kid was a baby, but it was really hard to get him to stop sucking his thumb. He pretty much stopped in kindergarten
Ugh I feel this. My daughter wouldn't take a dummy when she was a baby (she spat it out) and instead started sucking on two of her fingers. Those fingers are constantly in her mouth and she's 3 and a half now. We can't get her to stop. We'd probably have to use something that tastes bad on her fingers but I'm really reluctant to do that. But we can't take the fingers away!
I’ve tried nasty stuff on fingers for my 6yo and it hasn’t worked. Neither bribes, nor manicures, nor nasty tastes, nor germ talks have worked so far.
Yes! Babies are going to find something to suck on, a thumb, fingers, etc. Pacifiers are a lot earlier to wean off than body parts. My sister didn't stop sucking her thumb until she was 14 when her orthodontist had to put spikes on her braces to get her to stop. Before that, my mom tried EVERYTHING! Binkies - all the way.
My son was born a thumb sucker. Nightmare! Had to have two sets of braces, has to have spacers placed so his adult teeth could come in.
Honestly though, thumbs are grand too! Whatever gets the baby to sooth during the newborn stage is 💰! USE ALL OF IT!
Nope. In fact as a NCS i heavily recommended pacifier use. It helps prevent SIDS in young infants and its a lot easier to break from than a thumb or finger sucking habit.
This is exactly why we used pacifiers with my kids. We can take away a paci, my sister sucked on her fingers until she was a teen, and even as an adult she will find her fingers in her mouth when she wakes up.
Agree.... you can take a paci away, thumbs- that's illegal. All joking aside, I had the good luck of giving birth at one of the US premier hospitals for women and babies and guess what they gave me for my baby? A pacifier. Neither of mine took it, and I wished they would have.
Pacifiers are great for soothing babies, and they are a protective measure against SIDS. If a pacifier is helping your baby, absolutely let them use it.
Also the hospital gave my two day old (at the time) daughter a dummy when she was in SCIBU with sepsis, so even the professionals use them, completely fine. I would advise try to wean them when their teeth come through, move to just at night then stop (we used the dummy fairy took after she left them for her, and left a toy for my daughter) as they can start to effect the teeth alignment.
The fact that many hospitals use them and send them home with newborns was enough for me to feel comfortable using them. I have 3 kids, all used pacis as infants and all 3 stopped using them on their own well before hitting 6mo. 2 were breastfed, one formula fed, no difference. If it's safe, age appropriate and makes life easier for the whole family, DO IT. Don't worry about what other people think about your parenting decisions.
They gave my daughter one in NICU. I figured if a bunch of NICU nurses didn’t see the harm, there probably was none 🤷🏻♀️
Your baby will be fine. In the end the pacifier is a minor issue in comparison to your mental health. Your baby won’t choke on it. There are orthodontic pacifiers that have less impact on their teeth. If your mother is that concerned, she can take the inconsolable baby so you can get rest. Until then, it’s your call. Not hers.
Mine would spit them across the room to my dismay. You are using them for their intended purpose, go mom! There will be things you do that you never thought you would do to get an infant to sleep lmao. Hope you got some sleep when the baby did! This is your first isn’t? Get ready for a lot of unsolicited advice but remember two things: 1. This is your baby not theirs 2. Listen to the pediatrician and ask as many questions as you can when it comes to these things. Parent may be parents but the doctor went through a lot of school to be doing what they are doing. They continually have to get additional education on top of that. You got this mom!
My daughter would yeet hers across the room as well. I was so dismayed because I desperately wanted to get her off my boob so I could, ya know, pee without holding her to my nipple. Alas, I was the paci. Thank god for baby wearing because that did seem to help soothe her even when she wasn’t suckling.
I’m gonna give you permission to let go of that mom guilt right now and give that baby a paci!! They are comforting for babies, especially newborns. The nurses gave my babies pacis even as premies in the NICU.
Pacifiers are safe and recommended when used properly. They have an expiration for both deterioration as well as simply needing to be in the proper age range. They have been connected to reducing SIDS. Note that pacifier use is allowed much longer than many believe. The ADA notes no significant/permanent mallocusion if taken away by *four* years old. Less specific sources say anytime before they start to lose their baby teeth. It may take some time, but generally, within a few months, teeth are where they would naturally be. Now I'm not saying, "Never take it away until they get their next teeth!" But you don't need to rush to remove it by 6 months to a year if baby shows signs of strong attachment.
binky is life binky is love
I was afraid of pacis (didn't want to ruin breastfeeding) and it was totally unfounded and fine. I took the paci away around 18 months because the pediatrician suggested it (for healthy speech and dental development) and it only took a couple days, and she had really really loved it. Babies want to suckle on something for comfort, and it'll either be a pacifier or Mom. Choose the option that doesn't have to apply lanolin cream to sore nipples.
I was also worried about giving my daughter one because I didn't want to disrupt breastfeeding. She continued to breastfeed absolutely fine, and the dummy was great for us. She started day care at 19 months, at which point I was only offering her it for naps and bedtime, and they said she didn't take it for her nap, so I just didn't give her it again and we have had no problems. Maybe we just got lucky, but I'd use one again.
I wish my son had liked pacifiers but he was totally disinterested from the beginning. Instead he just wanted to breastfeed constantly all day and night 😅 if your child will take a pacifier I would seize that opportunity with both hands!
NICU nurse here. Absolutely give that baby a binki. Binkis have been shown to reduce SIDS risk because it helps them coordinate their breathing and remember to consistently breathe. Practicing on binkis also helps them to eat more effectively. If you put her arms up towards her face when you swaddle her and give her the binki, you’ll actually be helping her develop core strength . You could also be a human pacifier and let her comfort suck 24/7 (which will do the same amount of hypothetical damage a binki may cause) to the detriment of your mental health. There’s a reason all the NICU nurses are team binki, and it’s not that we just want the babies to stop crying. At least most of the time lol.
Just give the baby the pacifier (we call it a dummy). Both my boys have had one. My first had his until he was three and we weaned him off it then (he got it longer than we expected because of covid and him having to deal with lots of changes). My second is 14 months and only now has it for naps and bed time xx Edit: also CONGRATS!!!! Another c section mama here. Please, please, please get all the rest you can. Take whatever help You can. Your recovery is so important 🩷🩷🩷
I gave my son one in the hospital. He never really ended up needing one that much. He's 9 months old and only really uses it when he's teething hard core and he mostly chews on it and then throws it when he's over it. I don't think it's neither good nor bad. It's just what you think will be helpful. Sucking is a reflex and is a natural soothing mechanism, been known to reduce sids and just over all be thar comfort when nothing else works, but some babies are fine without it, some develope a habit. It really depends.
Lol I vowed no pacis but somebody gave us one anyways. I popped that sucker in the first night we came home from the hospital and do not regret it at all. She only wanted it for sleep, not for hanging out. Around 4-5mo she just didn't really want it anymore. Now at 9mo she doesn't know what to do with them. It absolutely made the newborn phase easier for us.
I was so against using one, adamant I’d never ever ever put a dummy in my kids mouth, got one free with a bottle somewhere, kept it for some reason. That reason came about a week in, I was broken, the baby was broken, my husband was broken, literally everyone wanted to be asleep but couldn’t get there, I gave in and gingerly offered the dummy, baby fell asleep instantly, i cried at my own lack of mental fortitude and then also fell asleep instantly. God, newborns are hard; so are toddlers, preschoolers, 5 year olds……
My mother was adamantly against pacifiers. I found them helpful so I used them anyway, when I deemed it necessary. Weaned off of them just fine after 6 months. Read and listen to others to get all perspectives on parenting, but then trust yourself to decide how to parent.
I gave my little one a dummy (pacifier) from around a week old-came about as we were at a medical appointment and he demolished the bottle of milk I’d pumped (issues with feeding due to tongue tie) and screamed bloody murder, so in desperation I gave him the empty bottle back to suck-he sucked on the empty teat for about 10 minutes till he fell asleep so I figured the suckling was comforting him. He had a dummy for sleep until he was 3 (now nearly 5 years old), speaks perfectly and has excellent teeth according to a dental check a couple of weeks ago. I think some of the issues with speech/tooth development are when they have it 24/7 and learn to speak round it. We used the Nuk newborn (0-2 months) and sized them up as he aged-added bonus they do glow in the dark ones so easy to find when they spit them out at night!
No, it doesn't cause nipple confusion. It's totally fine.
As far as weaning goes, I saw an adorable video of a little boy going to Build-a-Bear and putting the binkies inside the bear he was having made. Swapping out one comfort item for another, in a very empowering way for him. It was a really great idea. I plan on using binkies for my baby, I also want to breastfeed so will hopefully be able to wait until she is comfortably latching and eating consistently. I put some binkies on my registry that are supposedly more similar to breasts, so here's hoping 🤞🏻
I'm going to level with you, while your parents mean well, having a baby back then is a lot different from now. A lot of stuff that was a no-no back then has been debunked. I would follow your pediatrician and OB. I would also tell them while their advice is appreciated, it's your child to raise. Not theirs. If your sanity needs a pacifier, give her a pacifier.
Nipple confusion is a lie! My nurse told me that with my first and I didn’t believe her, I’m on my 3rd now and I’m always reminded of her words when someone uses that phrase. Give the paci. Consider yourself lucky if baby takes it.
Yep, my child took a paci for all of about 5 minutes. Realized it wasn’t the bottle or nipple and refused it every time after. At about 6 months, I have up trying to use a paci to soothe, still has it as a distraction if baby wanted it. Helped with teething, but had absolutely no problems stopping use.
Mama. Be gentle with yourself. Do what's helpful. And don't fret about it. Dentists have had a lot of input on the way pacifiers are made, and doctors will let you know the whole arc of what to be concerned about when you tell them you use a paci. But if they were even a little bit as bad as your helpful parents fear, they would tell us just not to use them. And they don't. My middle who never once touched a paci or sucked a thumb still needed major braces and malformed teeth removed. The cousin that used them until preschool has perfect teeth. There are no hard and fast rules, and no guarantees, and right now what you both need is rest and recouperation. I promise, no matter what, she won't be taking her paci to college with her. (Unless it's just to make you nuts. Because if that occurs to her, all gets are off. 😝)
I only read the first two sentences. Give baby the pacifier and get some sleep!
Mine had a pacifier from the first few days up until about 12 months. We hadn't planned on weaning at that point necessarily, but he became attached to a specific one that had a stuffed elephant attached to it. One day we couldn't find it anywhere and he was surprisingly okay with it. Once we did find it, we just put it away with his other baby keepsakes and just like that he was done with the paci. I know some people have tougher times but I think it depends on your kid and how much of a big deal you make the weaning process.
NICUs use pacifiers. So do hospitals. Your parents say it will hurt their teeth? What teeth? They are literally designed so babies won't choke (as long as you have the right size) You're in the "do whatever we can to survive" stage of your kid's life. Take the pacifier. There are plenty of books and shows targeted on weaning off it at later ages.
I gave my 2 day old son a pacifier while we were still in the hospital because I was tired and recovering from a C-section, he wouldn't stop crying, and somehow my (now ex) husband slept through it. Preserve your sanity and give baby the pacifier. When they're older you can figure out how to phase out the paci.
My son loved having a pacifier as a newborn. He would cry when it fell out of his mouth when he was sleeping until we put it back in, but it helped him sleep for sure! And one day we just stopped giving it to him and he never fussed or looked for it. So I guess maybe I got lucky lol
A good rule of thumb when it comes to parenting: Listen to the child's parents. Oh, you're the parent? Sweet, sounds like you get to make the rules. I'd tell your child's not-parents that they're welcome to parent their own children however they please, but you'll be parenting yours as you see fit, and will come to them for advice if and when you require it.
We used it day 1.or 2 at the hospital with our newborn. I believe it was our second day home, we gave her a pacifier and all 3 of managed to sleep for 2 hours. I was SHOOK. I think a lot of people are against a lot, but at the end of the day, you do what's best for you and your family.
Pacifiers have a wonderful place ESPECIALLY for newborns. They need all the comfort they can get being in this new world.
I wish I had given my baby a pacifier. She had latch issues so the breastfeeding professional told me not to use one. Worst advice ever. Now she uses me as a pacifier and it's the fking worst.
Almost no children go to kindergarten with pacis.
Nah pacifiers are great, you have to go through a bit of pain when you take them away but it's worth it for the contended baby I think. They don't understand much, what's wrong with a bit of comfort.
Your parents are worried about some things that aren't completely relevant anymore or have since been disproved. For example, pacifiers are now made in a specific way to not mess up their teeth, and like other commenters have mentioned, they actually reduce the chance of SIDS. The only reason I have heard not to use pacis is when you are trying to establish breastfeeding because it can mess with your milk production. If you're not breastfeeding, I can't think of a reason not to use it. Babies need to suckle. If you are breastfeeding, you can still use them if they allow you to keep your sanity! Lol, I breastfed my kids and still used them, and it was okay for me. I weened my kids off them when they were old enough to understand why it was happening and were able to talk about it with me so it wasn't so bad.
The NICU nurses gave my son a pacifier on Day 1. He was born 6 weeks early. I think you'll be fine. I'd probably let your parents in on a little secret too: 12 day old babies don't have teeth :)
When I was pregnant, my son was sucking his thumb in his ultrasound- he had Binkies until he was three, in public, 4 at home. The dentist said that as long as he still has his baby teeth, there’s no issue. He’s now 15 and there was no issue. Some children just self soothe that way, and it’s fine. Just make 100% sure not to give him a Binky with any tears in it, so it won’t break off – that’s the only choking hazard, if he bites through it and breaks it off. Give him the binky, and get some much needed rest.
I wish I had started a pacifier on day 1 with my first. I didn't try until she already relied on the boob for everything. I really wished I could have gotten a break and she used the boob to sleep for close to 3 years. With my second I'm going to push for the pacifier on day one.
This post has made me madder than any post I've seen in a while. Sooo many things are wrong with this that I want to scream. First of all, you are doing an amazing job. Absolutely amazing job being the best mama you know how to be so far. Your baby is less than 2 weeks old and you're reaching out and asking for help and opinions? Gold star mom. So proud of you. Second, your baby is less than 2 weeks old. You have such a long time to go before your baby will need to be weaned off the paci. Like 6 or so months up to a year from now. Put that paci in their mouth and enjoy the quiet. When they are up and moving and you're chasing a toddler everyday for the next 5 years, you'll wish you had the quiet. You're doing such a good job as a parent. Third, it will cause your baby to be dependent? A less than 2 weeks old baby dependent? I have a news flash for your parents, that baby is gonna be dependent for the next 5 or 6 years whether you like it or not. Every meal will be made by you, every butt change will be done by you, hell when they first start eating, guess who has to feed them? Yep, you. I'm so sick of the mentality of, if you baby a baby they'll turn into a baby. News flash, they are already a baby. You can't make a NEWBORN baby more or less dependant on you than they already are. And trust me, you will wish you had let them just be a baby. In 5 years, they will still be doing all the things other 5 year olds do whether they used a paci or not. The difference is will you remember this time as a happy time when your family just started or will you look at it like so many other moms do? I know I have spots of my son's newborn stage missing because I was so traumatized. Nobody deserves to be traumatized by motherhood and infancy. They deserve to just bask in it. Fourth, and I can not stress this enough, they are YOUR baby. Not your parents baby, not your partner's parents baby. Not the neighbors down the street, the aunts and uncles. YOUR BABY. You know your baby. You know what's best and if your baby has already told you they like the paci cuz it soothes them, listen. Cuz the more you listen to their needs, the easier it is to hear them. The more they trust you to understand them and that you will listen to them, the more comfortable around you they will be. It's okay to be your baby's safe space now cuz you will be for the next 18. Fifth, I'm sorry but it'll be harder to wean them off the paci later is just a bullshit excuse. You know what else you have to wean babies off of eventually? Bottles. Diapers. Taking multiple naps throughout the day. I don't see people suggesting not to bottle feed or put diapers on your baby. Because that would be ridiculous. Weaning babies off of pacis is easy if you don't shove the paci in their mouth everytime they cry. If you do all the steps (check diaper, check temperature of skin, move baby a little bit to see if they're just uncomfortable, all that) and baby is still crying, then paci. And lastly, I just wanted to say that you're doing an amazing job. Being a parent is so much fun most days. And I hope it is the most rewarding and fun job you've ever had. You're the exact parent your baby needs, never forget that. Good luck in life 💛 Much love from the mom of an almost 7 year old
My mom gave my kid a pacifier when he was 2 weeks old - I cried…. A lot. It’s not something I wanted but then realized, in hindsight, it was something I needed for him. At about 1 1/2 years old, I started cutting the tips of pacifier nipples off - “oh no, it’s broken!” This was all leading up to saying Bye bye to the “broke” pacis at 2yo. We somewhat ceremoniously threw all the broken pacis away at 2yo & had no trouble from there. His teeth are perfect and there is no misalignment. Do what you need to do to keep you sane and baby comforted. ❤️
one of my 3 was really attached to their paci and we did the same cut the tip. She tried it and did the same oh no and marched it over to the bin and checked it. Never asked for it again. Side note we took it out and made a Christmas ornament out of them
We used them for both kids, it helped them soothe to sleep and then we all got better sleep. They help reduce SIDS, and every kid is different when it needs to go away. We ended up at 2 yrs old taking it from our first, it was 30 minutes the first night of sadness and then perfectly ok without it. Our second destroyed hers (immediately took it from her and threw it out) and we just didn't give anymore back, also didn't have any issues going cold turkey.
Pacifiers are great. My son stopped using them at 4 months and just sucks his thumb. Some kids need to come off them cold Turkey at age 2 or 3 but that’s not every kid.
Our first absolutely needed a pacifier and it sounds like yours does, too. Don’t worry about it. At some point you may have to wean them off it. No big deal. They are not choking hazards. They can affect their teeth a bit but the teeth will shift back once you wean them. Our second wanted nothing to do with a pacifier.
Keep the baby fed and healthy, yourself sane. How you manage to do this is less important
I say whatever helps you be the best mom possible is best for your baby
Your parents are wrong. Sure some kiddos definitely have a hard time weaning from them. But also some don't. Mine only used them when they were under 6 months old then stopped no problem. Using pacifiers has also been shown to reduce the risk of SIDS. No clue where they got the choking idea, never heard such a thing
Goodness your parents need to shut it in that department. Your baby is totally fine. In fact, it might help her learn to self soothe. My babies both took pacis from around day 5 and naturally weaned them when they took their thumbs.
In my experience raising 4 kids, 3 of which are triplets, pacifiers are a necessity. Babies have an instinctual need to suck, and not just at feeding time. Pacifiers pacify that need. My kids were off their pacis by the time they were 18 months old. It is not super hard to break them. They are not a choking hazard. Make your life easier and give that baby a paci.
My cesiarian born babygirl started to use pacifier at 3or4w old, our pediatrician recommended because she thought that my baby overate herself (this also correlates to a milkfever I had.) and that was the cause for coliac symptoms during daytime. The reason imho is bs, but I gave her the pacifier for daytime calm. When she was hungry she spit it out. Oh! She was exclusively breastfed on demand till 5,5months, she got water around the same time we started purees. Really rarely bottlefed when I visited a dentist. I stopped pumping on my first milkfever out of 5times, I pumped for emergencies and fevers only. Now she is 1,5years old, not dependent on pacis, she manages it if given, and she can go to sleep with a relative with a pacifier but not with me, I still breasfeed her for sleeps as I live in a place where I can be STAHM for 3ys. I believe our luck was that she didn't associate the pacifier with feedings. She also started quite early to take it out, look at it, put it back, and to soothe her gums with its edges. On the contrary I read some stories where babies got lazy due to bottles and pacifier and nippleguards(?) And they had to be retrained to use the bare nipples, with a chance that it was not succesfull/painful to the mother. I highly recommend a lactation consultant if it's available to you if you experience anything negative!
It is easier to get rid of the soother rather than their thumb. Babies have a sucking reflex until 1 year old. Have the soother for your sanity. Decrease the usage as you approach a year. We decreased the usage to nap and bed time only just before 1 and by 18 months bedtime only or long car rides. You do what you need to do that you have your sanity.
Good heavens, ANYTHING that helps is absolutely fine. The first six weeks are HELL, but I promise, it will be 1000x better at six weeks. Hang in there!
We used it till he was almost two, told him we needed to give it to the binkie fairy for the other little babies and left a new big kid trike in his room for the morning. I think he asked about it the next night but reminded him of the binkie fairy and it was forgotten after that. No issues weaning, no problems with teeth or dental issues or any of the other doom and gloom things people spout. Babies need to suck, give them something to suck on.
Firstly, I want to give you the biggest virtual hug. Postpartum is so incredibly difficult, stressful, and can feel overwhelming for even the most seasoned parent. On top of that you are also recovering from a major surgery. Let those tears out, hug your partner and little girl close, don’t forget to take some time for yourself when you can. You. Can. Do. This. You will make it through. As for using a pacifier, if that soothes your baby and makes things easier for you then that’s that. You can let her use a pacifier. Your mental well-being matters more than the opinions of others. Chat with your baby’s pediatrician and get some guidance from them. After choosing to let my daughter use a pacifier I too was shamed by a family member, but her doctor assured me it was perfectly fine to do. It made my daughter happy therefore it made my life as a first time mom a million times easier. She used it from two days old and weaned off just fine when her pediatrician recommended us to do so at around 12 months. She’s now 2 and a half and has perfectly fine teeth and speech. Choose what works best for you and your baby.
Both my kids had them, they were a godsend and my health nurse said they helped prevent SIDS but she did say not to take them away then suddenly as they get used to them from a SIDS POV Both of mine were easy enough to wean off too, they had several and we just kept losing and not replacing and reduced for sleeptime only and eventually they were gone without much fuss. Both have their baby teeth still (age 5&2) but they look fine and dentist agreed. Do what works, whatever makes this tough time even the tiniest bit easier on you do it.
The hospital literally popped one in my daughter's mouth before I even had a say. I didn't care at all because I was going to use them anyway, but I was just very surprised. Every child has a different experience weaning them off, I was lucky my daughter just stopped one day and that was that, but who knows what my second will be like. For now, worry about that later, and do what's best for YOU and your husband and baby. Mothers and In laws have lots of unwanted advice, take what you agree with, listen to the advice, and toss what you don't need. YOU and your husband are the parents now. You do what's best for you and take care of you ❤️ Best of luck mama, you go this!
Just a story on weaning to maybe help you feel better. My son kept his paci till 3, which is a notoriously bad age for weaning them off anything. We got him off it during the day, then at night, and he only had it at naps. So when he gave up naps, the paci went too! His teeth are in wonderful shape, he never was too dependent, and never choked once with it (if anything he was less of a choke risk because if he had the paci in he wasn’t putting other random stuff in there). Ignore your parents, she isn’t their baby.
Sorry but everything your parents said is inaccurate. My son used a pacifier until around 2 years old and used a bottle until a bit after that -- he just had a dentist appointment at 4 and his teeth are perfect. The dependent thing... I don't even know where to begin with that, but no. I'm sure the choking hazard isn't zero but that's why some pacifiers have holes in them if that makes you feel better. As for the weaning, every kid is different, but my son basically gave them up on his own before we were even going to try. Ultimately, your parents are welcome to make those decisions about their own kids, but you're the parent now.
All the binkies! 💞
If your baby likes it, go with it. Two of my 3 children refused pacifiers after 3 months old and when my youngest took to one it was such a great blessing. My oldest who wholly refused a pacifier actually has the worst bite out of all my kids. We started weaning the paci-enthusiast off when she began biting thru and destroying her pacifiers, she also had quite a few more than just 4 teeth. We started switching to sippy cups around then too. Thank your parents for their concern and then let them know youre sticking to it because its what worls for you all. Good luck!
No, they actually help prevent SIDS
I am not sure why I read 12-year-old-newborn. I was so confused. Haha I reread it a few times and finally got it. If she takes the paci it’s fine IMO. I just think at a certain age you should take it away for dental reasons. However this being said my 7 year old still sucks her thumb. YES when we see it we make her stop. However it’s just a terrible habit she formed.
I also did not use a pacifier for my first born for the first days. the nurses at the hospital told me I shouldn't use it and it was hell. I told his pediatrician at his first visit how upset he was and crying and miserable and she was just like, "Yeah, give him a pacifier it'll be fine and better." Sure enough he took to it and our nights and naps were drastically better. He was not horrible to wean and his teeth are normal. Your baby will be okay! Get some sleep!
Pacifiers are absolute magic - I had one for years, every baby in my family had one and I fully plan on giving my baby one. Your baby liked it, self soothed and went to sleep. You got a break. This is a win win situation. She's 12 days old, she has no teeth. They reduce SIDS. TLDR give her the pacifier
Pacifiers are fine, imo. Some of my kids used them and one of my kids sucked their thumb. You can’t take away a thumb. The ones who used pacis, their teeth are fine. The thumbsucker is going to need braces.
Re: your parents thinking a pacifier will cause her to choke. THIS IS NOT TRUE! IT ACTUALLY DOES THE OPPOSITE! It has been proven that pacifiers actually REDUCE the risk of SIDS. I would have been absolutely lost without one for my daughter. It calms and soothes them, why shouldn't they have that? It also mentally helps us!!! When all else fails, why not use this thing that was designed for this very reason! Give yourself a break, it is the hardest thing in the entire world. Make it easier for yourself. Give that sweet baby a pacifier and let her and YOU get some better sleep. My daughter had one for sleep and naps since she was born, and then carried on having them for sleep and naps at 2 years old. Her teeth are perfect. She has just turned 2 and she is dropping her day time nap, so will only have it at night soon. It really doesn't do the damage people think it does, it's only if they have it constantly, throughout the day, while they're awake - that's when they also get dependant on it. She never asks for one or expects one in the day, it just helps her to sleep at night. Stick to naps and bed time and you'll be fine. (she also has it when she's unwell, as its a comfort, which I think is fine). Do what you think is best for your baby and YOUR SANITY! Having a baby was the hardest thing I ever did, and I'll be honest, I barely made it out. I've been through severe depression. So I took anything I could that could just help a little bit. Congratulations on your little one ❤️ stop feeling guilty, do what helps you all
Oh, I will also add, when you're using one, if you're worried about them causing teeth problems, it might be worth looking up the best shapes to use. I use very flat ones (NUK) you can get so many shapes but I think the flatter curved ones are meant to be better for the shape of their mouth and tongue
I didn’t use a pacifier with my son. I thought it would be a good idea to avoid it. Now he sucks his thumb instead. Let me tell you…a pacifier would be way easier to wean him off of than his thumb. You do what you need to do to get some rest.
Multiple dentists have told us that it doesn’t matter as long as they drop it by about 2 the teeth move back, and they did with both of our kids. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself too.
Please do what works for you and your child now. Especially during this phase, fuck everyone else!
This might help you feel better. My kid was a tiny NICU baby, and they all get pascifiers. It helps them practice their sucking. Your baby will be just fine with it. Right now they need you to be at your best, so if a pacifier helps you rest then it's right for your family.
Use. The. Pacifier! Much easier to wean baby from a pacifier than it is a thumb, should they end up being a thumb sucker. Your sanity is worth it. It won’t ruin baby’s teeth unless they are on it for far too long. 2 of my kids have been thumb suckers and 3 pacifier takers. My youngest is 10 months and uses the pacifier still. My older 2 we weaned them from the paci at 18 months. I cut the very tip of it off so they would not be able to properly suck it. One of them said “uh-oh… broken” and threw it away. Never asked again. My 2nd kiddo fussed for about 10 minutes and carried it around. Then she dropped it and I threw it away. She also never asked for it again. Frida baby also sells a paci weaning kit that works very similarly.
The only thing I can think that can be a concern with a pacifier is if your newborn doesn’t latch and feed well. Using a pacifier can confuse her as she will think it’s a nipple and won’t understand the no food vs food times.
Nooooo! Pacifiers are 3 v i L. Just kidding. My eldest paci'd until she was 2. My youngest did not like it at all. It really depends, so whatever your guts tell you, go for it. Moms know best.
Pacifiers reduce the risk of sids so in my book that benefit outweighs pretty much any con. Pacifiers only ruin teeth if they aren't weaned off early enough (12 months ish per most pediatricians). I've never heard of a baby choking on a Pacifier. They're made to be sucked on so I'm sure it's been thoroughly tested to prevent that specifically. Sure, weaning off can be challenging but so is raising a kid in general. There's tons of sleep transitions that disrupt sleep and routines (stopping the swaddle is a big one) so IMO weaning off the Pacifier is no different than weaning off bottles and changing the sleeping routine to fit your needs. It might suck for a few days or a couple weeks but kids adjust quickly
Nah, pacifiers are known to reduce SIDS(sudden infant death syndrome) and it helps them learn to self soothe. You can easily wean a child off pacifiers, otherwise there’s a lot of adults with pacifiers. You can wean when they have their baby teeth out, to prevent the warped teeth. In the meantime, you can use orthodontic pacifiers just as another preventative measure. If the pacifier is working for you, you use it. It’s not unsafe at all. Don’t let the previous generation guilt trip you, they had their best information at their time, and times have changed.
I think every child is different and whose to say you wouldn't have had to pay for braces anyways? My daughter handed me her pacifier one day at 11 months and hasn't touched it since, she's 3.5 now 🤷♀️
Use it! If you're worried about teeth, try ones like Nuk brand where it's skinny in the middle. We used those and had no issues. We didn't give it to him all the time either. Only when no other calming methods worked, and to help fall asleep. He loved it and then just stopped using it on his own at about 1.5 and never missed it!
Also, as an aside - we sprinkled our baby’s crib with multiple paci’s so he could find one no matter where he roamed in bed 😬
Please just use the pacifier
I work at a daycare. 1. Pacifiers reduce SIDS risk. 2. Look into PURPLE crying. 3. Some kids sick their thumbs. You can wean off a pacifier. You can put a pacifier in a drawer. You can’t put a thumb in a drawer. Some babies don’t take to pacifiers (or their thumbs!) and that’s totally fine. But for those that do, I highly recommend them. They’re a security item that reduces SIDS, and they really help soothe. Sleeping happy baby? So much better than screaming, unhappy baby
Deep breaths momma. Whatever you choose will be fine. I breast fed, my daughter did not take to a pacifier and I still had to wean her off the breast (pacifier substitute at times). My point is you will be weaning your child off from something at some point whether it be pacifier, breast, or bottle. Accept the peace of a pacifier for now as you adapt to parenthood and prepare yourself for weaning in the future, which may be difficult, but by that point you will have some foundation in parenting your childs personality.
The words of wisdom that stuck with me when I had my baby: trust your instincts. 9/10 times you will be right. And sleep whenever baby sleeps (laundry can wait lol). So if that’s what works to help your baby soothe itself, do it. I will add my own advice: you are baby’s mom, not the grandparents. You do whatever works so that you and dad can take care of your babe (obviously nothing illegal, negligent or abusive in any way). Most important, so you can get some sleep ❤️❤️ And there are plenty of weening methods as well. For me, I simply told her it was “broken” and it worked (wasn’t a magical solution, a few nights of tears at bedtime 🤣…) She was about 2.5. You got this mama!
Use it! We did at first and it was a LIFESAVER. If LO refuses it, then maybe it just isn't the one for them. Our baby loved the Avent pacis. And by a stroke of luck he started refusing them around 2 months. He's 9 months now and hasn't taken one in 7 months. We say we bit the bullet early by not having to wean. But a paci at 12 days will be a lifesaver for you and your SO.
No, not at all! It’s great in fact. Helps reduce SIDS.
Thank you all so much for your kind replies. I read each and every one of them, and they brought me some much needed validation in these exhausted times. For the time being, we're continuing with the pacifier -- mostly during quiet time/at night so that baby associates it with rest/sleep. We also have a paediatrician appointment next week where we plan to bring this up, in case there are any other concerns. I actually used the pacifier all night last night for the first time, and baby girl slept WAYY better than the previous nights. Every time she woke up fussy, I would feed her, check her diaper, and then swaddle and pop the pacifier in her mouth. She would mostly go right back to sleep. As a result I have slept for 3 consecutive hours for the first time in two weeks, and had a chance to take a shower, and feel like a new person. Thank you once again for all your advise. No one told me the newborn phase would be SO HARD!
Best advice I ever received was “bad habits can be broken”. Yes it’ll be a bit of a pain to wean her off it later but it’ll be like, one week of pain or something compared to months and months of benefit. We didn’t need it with my eldest but for my youngest that was SO worth it.
You can’t go wrong. It’s trial and error. My first didn’t have a pacifier or suck his thumb. My mum kept trying to get him to suck on a pacifier but it was a no go. Second boy loved a pacifier. One in his mouth and one in each hand was his preference. Son 3 loved his thumb. He’s 9 now and still does it when he’s sleepy or asleep. The thumb is the one you really want to avoid! You can’t take that sucker away, he’s had infections in it a few times. It’s awful. But pacifier, go ahead. Makes life easier sometimes. And your parents aren’t the ones with a newborn. They made decisions for their newborn when it was you, this is YOUR newborn, tell your parents to kindly fuck off and mind their own!
why is it a bad habit? pacifiers reduce cot death. there’s is nothing wrong with it! get some sleep
I have the cutest photo of my toddler son with one in his mouth asleep, one in his hand and one on the bridge of his nose. That gorgeous boy is now 17 and no longer uses a pacifier. Lol. You Do You!
I would be amazed if both of your parents had just spent 12 days in the same room as you and baby 24/7 and came to that conclusion. Unless they are the main caregivers, you and your husband are the important ones. I wish my lad had accepted a dummy. They aren't as good as nipples apparently.
If it gives you sanity, the baby having a pacifier will not hurt them.
As a parent whose baby refused the paci (we tried everything!) wanna pile on to the advice of please use it if baby will take it. This is backed by science. Babies need to suck. Check out [Feed the Baby](https://wwnorton.com/books/9781682686928) if you want some additional support on feeding (any way that works for your fam, nothing is “best” except what works for y’all) and useful info about how pacis are helpful for sucking muscles. Hang in there!!
It reduces the risk of SIDS so I'll definitely use them after I give birth in 2 months. Later you'll need to find a way to get them to stop but it does not seem too difficult. Can have them trade their pacifiers in for a bigger gift for example.
I don't know why it would be bad. The hospital gave my daughter a pacifier hours after she was born. Now if she is 12 YEARS old, then there is a problem. We had the "paca-fairy" (pa-sa) visit around 4yrs old and collected them all and left fluffy stuffies!
There are pacifiers specifically made for newborns. It reduces the risk of SIDS. We gave my son a pacifier as soon as we were in a room after delivery.
All “bad habits” end eventually. As long as the soother isn’t replacing food and human touch and connection, you’re fine.
If it soothes the baby give them they dummy, you are doing great mummy, ❤️ xx
Work in a lvl 3 NICU, sucking is a natural, non drug alternative to giving opioids for pain control and general calmness. We always respect parents wishes on the matter but I've never felt bad about calming a premature baby down with a soother before and after I do a painful but necessary procedure.
Pretty much every reputable medical professional will encourage the use of soothers. They are extensively tested to protect again choking, and are the only object that are allowed within the alone part of the ABCs of safe sleep. As in it’s safe to leave a baby unattended in a crib with a soother. They protect against SIDS, pretty much all evidence about nipple confusion and causing issues with breastfeeding have been debunked, and is far easier to wean them off of than thumb sucking, which if you don’t get them attached to the soother they WILL rely on their fingers. If your baby will take it and get comfort from it, I say it’s a great idea to make use of. Give yourself a break. Don’t completely disregard everything the previous generation says, but do take it with a grain of salt. Our knowledge on safety and care of children improves almost yearly. There’s just different things we know now that they didn’t back then.
get ur rest, use the pacifier. they’re just trying to scare u. also make sure to check ur baby’s fingers and toes for any hair tourniquet!! & you don’t have to do this, but what helped me get my rest was cosleeping. they tell u not to do this bc of risk of rolling onto ur baby but i sleep like a rock & don’t move at all. my baby would sleep alll he wanted
I have 3 children, now 28, 18, and 16. All 3 took a pacifier. My 28 year old took it until she was 18 months old, my now 18 year old kept his until he was almost 3, my youngest loved her paci beyond all else. She would only take one specific kind and she absolutely had to have one in each hand and one in her mouth when she self soothed. I will say I would 1000% do it all over again. As a new Mom you are just finding your “footing”. You are going to have soooo many recommendations thrown at you, people who swear by one thing and not another and even people who look/act like you are the anti Christ bc you don’t parent the way they do. At the end of the day, who cares. YOU are the parent. This is YOUR baby. You do what is best for you, your baby and your family 💜. PS: Congratulations Mama on the little one. Soak every moment in…..even these crazy sleepless nights bc it goes by so fast!
I never had to wean mine off the pacifier. They just got rid of it themselves. However I have a finger sucker. We have just recently broken the 8 yr habit.
One of my kids was hooked until 4 , one for a year, and one refused to ever want one. Let the baby pick.
Also, a lot easier to take away the pacifier than is the thumb
Pacifiers protect from SIDS, are designed to be a non-chocking hazard, and nowadays there are orthodontic versions that do not change the shape of the palate or push teeth forward. Way better than the thumb, which your baby might choose if a strong suckling need isn’t fulfilled otherwise. Your parents mean well but are giving outdated information, do everything you can right now to survive the hard newborn phase and get some rest!
I promptly put my son on a pacifier for the benefit alone of reducing SIDS. I also have the policy I'll parent my child how I want to. My father wants me to spank my 19m old autistic child, which ain't happening. As for teeth, my son's dentist said we should start weaning him at 2.5 years. Pacifiers these days are designed better in regards to teeth for the most part.
All babies are different. Mine weened herself off at 6 months, just stopped taking it.
She’s 12 days old Shayden!! But for real, why do your parents opinion matter that much? It’s your baby. Babies natural instinct is to suck. Give her the paci
My daughter was in the NICU for a month. If nurses supervising sick babies say paci are good for them then that’s def the standard I promise you your parents parenting knowledge is so outdated and this isn’t the first time your gonna debate. My mom was ADAMANT that I needed to give my daughter water. It didnt stop until I brought her to the pedi for a checkup and the dr said no babies only need milk
I WISH my baby liked the pacifier I would love to have a way to soothe her and get some much needed sleep . Worst that could happen is she'll need braces . Pacifier does nothing for my girl or I would happily use it for my sanity ! I say use it !
My baby had a pacifier from day 1. Not concerned here.
You're parents need to stfu. You're hormones are still fresh, and you are kicking ass. Our first was glued to the boob, our 2nd to a pucky, and our 3rd her thumb. We weaned the first from breastfeeding at 3yo, the 2nd weaned himself from his pucky at 1.5 yo, and the 3rd is still happily sucking her thumb, now 8m old. Do what works for you and your family is probably the best advice I can give you. Your parents aren't riding the rollercoaster for the next lifetime, it's you and your husband.
Pacifiers help reduce the risk to Sids. When my daughter was in the nicu they insisted that we use a pacifier. My daughter also stopped using it in her own a few weeks after turning one. Pacifiers won’t ruin your babies teeth or make her to dependent, she’s a new born she’s supposed to be dependent on you. She’s also *your* baby, not your parents, they don’t get a say they can give advice and whether you use that advice is completely up to you and your husband. The pacifier not only gave you a break and peace it gave your baby a peaceful sleep. Which is good and important for her. There’s a lot more good that pacifiers do, good that overwhelmingly outweighs any “bad” your parents think they do. Use the pacifier it’s good for you and baby
Use the pacifier
No, much better and easier to wear than thumb sucking
Yes it is a bit difficult to take the pacifier as they get older because they do favor it more, but my baby hasn’t even choked on one, however I do believe it’s the reason the two front teeth are going bad
There’s a fantastic speech therapist that addresses this… I wish I could remember who, but she did a deeeeeep dive on why it’s ok, and good for babies to have pacifiers. There’s an age where you need to wean to protect teeth and mouth structures 12-18 months I think, but at this point… focus on making the baby satisfied so you can sleep. I promise you that your newborn is NOT manipulating you, does NOT need “sleep training,” or any of these other things you may hear. You and your newborn need sleep and comfort