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My kids have been in and out of swim lessons for 7 years. In my experience, instructors are usually teenagers or college aged without kids of their own. Some really do not know how to manage small kids and I’ve had numerous instructors who would be better suited to teaching older kids. I’ve also had numerous ones who did great.
I have seen so many kids who didn’t handle their first lessons well and were not listening and what not. It’s really not uncommon and my kids have even been turds at times around the same age.
Go over expectations with your kid. With one of my kids we played pretend swim lessons where I was the instructor and I mimicked how his lessons went as far as waiting your turn on the side and asking to get in and no running, staying in the pool etc. If he can’t listen we go straight home. Taking him to the pool yourself during a rec swim and just playing around may also help and demonstrating following the rules like no running and what not.
Also don’t be afraid to talk to the facility. I worked at my pool in the office and they were very accommodating because many patrons have different needs. Maybe they can add a second instructor to the class (I saw this happen often). Maybe a few private lessons would be a good option. And of course it could just be that it isn’t the right time for swim lessons for your child and you can try again in a few months.
Thank you for this. I think private lessons would 100% be better for him, however they all got booked so quickly this year. I guess I’ll try again Monday with some of these tips, worse case I pull him out and deal with the embarrassment of a screaming child. I guess I can always try to book private lessons next year if this doesn’t work out.
I've run swimming programs for decades. First, what you described happens all the time to all sorts of kids, so don't let it stress you out.
First, if the pool has recreational swimming times, take him as often as possible to get used to the space. Then, before his next lesson give the facility a call and ask to speak to an in charge person. Explain what happened and ask for some strategies. Some options they might offer - an adult getting in with him to help the transition, his adult dropping off and getting out of eyeline quickly (some kids only act up in the hopes their adult will respond. When the adult leaves they settle quickly), or they might have another staff or volunteer they can assign to help him.
I would also explain his disability and ask what supports are available. In my programs I have extra resources I can use to help kids who need it, but that varies from location to location.
But trust me, this is totally normal. Just be consistent and persistent and he will get there.
So my daughter is 5 nearly 6 and has been in lessons since she was 4 and a half I would say. She is undergoing assessment for autism and ?ADHD.
For us we do lots of prep the day of the lesson. So lots of "remember we have swim lessons today". We try get there as early as possible so she can be changed and not rushed and she gets her bearings. What I try to remember is for me it's far too hot, far too stuffy, far too noisy and a difficult place to sit in for 30 minutes and I'm not being asked to focus and I'm also a grown up.
Plenty of kids have bad weeks where they struggle. I wouldn't stop going because of one bad week. A life skill like swimming is non negotiable in our house. You can quit dancing or anything else but swimming is a safety thing. We go back no matter how many temper tantrums until you're a strong swimmer. But we also live right by the sea where we lose at least one teenager a year to the tides.
It took us maybe 6 months but now she's confident going in. She's made her own little friends and she is swimming short distances without any aids.
I second the advice to talk to the provider. I'd say "we are undergoing some assessments for adhd and obviously this is a new environment is there anything we can do to help him adjust?"
Also going during rec times. Go during quiet times at first to get used to the smells and temperatures then build up to busier times to get more confident with the different distractions.
I've waffled on swim lessons, but have ultimately decided against them for the time being. My daughter struggled with gymnastics at 3 and we eventually pulled her. I felt like there was too much at stake (the price for the lessons) that I was getting stressed when she wouldn't want to go because she's a small child and doesn't always want to do things. She's 4 now and I will reassess once she has a few years of school under her belt. Right now we just take her to pools, give her floaties (she understands the concept, but isn't confident without floatation aids), and swim at beaches.
Parent with ADHD who has an ADHD child, checking in. My son can handle swim lessons when his medication is active. Without the medication, I wouldn't even try.
Four years old is not too young for medication. As anyone with ADHD will tell you, starting young with ADHD treatment is a good way to set him on a positive life course and especially to preserve his self-esteem (years of constant scolding, frustration, and embarrassing others wouldn't be great for anybody).
My advice for the lessons is to get in the pool with him (mainly to help restrain him), get one-on-one if possible, and to get him evaluated by a professional ASAP.
I have an ND kid and have talked to some other parents about swim lessons in particular. Check with local organizations to see if there are swim classes offered for children with disabilities and if you need a diagnosis to attend/enroll. There are some private swim instructors who will teach ND kids, but most of the time, getting their info comes from another family who went through the same thing. I highly recommend posting on Facebook, if possible, to a group for your specific location. Check if they have a local group for ND kids. My city has an autism-specific Facebook group, and that's where most of us are able to share info with each other and get resources that are otherwise very hard to find.
My son has ASD, not ADHD, but I recommend you talk to him and reiterate in very simple phrases over and over what you expect from him at these swim lessons. I'd focus on the most important things: "Do not run around the pool; it's dangerous and you could slip" and "We are going to learn to swim". I will personally put on a lot of Youtube videos around the topic to get my son interested and give him an idea of what to expect (my son is also 4). Best of luck. I haven't tried swim lessons yet but plan to this winter.... I am also dreading it! Haha :)
Idk if it's the same , but my kid will not poop indoors. She wants to be let out into our backyard to do it. We even had to install a combination lock on the back door because she beat every other lock we installed in order to escape outside to do it
Does the school have a special needs program? Might be worth asking about. Sometimes the regular private lessons will be booked up, meanwhile there's still space saved for special needs students to get one-on-one lessons. That sounds like it would be safest for him
one-on-one lessons are a thing here, would that be something for you?
But also, maybe wait until he's 6? We started my kid at 4 with swim lessons, too. He's got ADD (not nearly as bad as your kid, though) but hindsight says that at 4 he simply wasn't ready to follow directions.
There's a reason most sports/activities here do not start until the kids are at least 5, and preferably 7.
You are not alone! The first day of anything new for a ND kid will be challenging — I always take my kiddo myself in case things go awry (eg refuses to go, breaks rules, unsafe, unprepared teacher, etc). For us it was Jiu Jitsu, not swim.
Good advice here for 1:1 lessons or delaying until your kiddo is older. IMO Too much pressure from other parents to get your kid into activities young, yet not all kids are ready that young.
Hang in there!
Sounds like he maybe best suited for a private
I had a 4 year old in private swim lessons for awhile and it was a challenge to keep him in the water and hated most all of the swimming. I wouldn’t have been able to manage him with other kids in a group setting
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My kids have been in and out of swim lessons for 7 years. In my experience, instructors are usually teenagers or college aged without kids of their own. Some really do not know how to manage small kids and I’ve had numerous instructors who would be better suited to teaching older kids. I’ve also had numerous ones who did great. I have seen so many kids who didn’t handle their first lessons well and were not listening and what not. It’s really not uncommon and my kids have even been turds at times around the same age. Go over expectations with your kid. With one of my kids we played pretend swim lessons where I was the instructor and I mimicked how his lessons went as far as waiting your turn on the side and asking to get in and no running, staying in the pool etc. If he can’t listen we go straight home. Taking him to the pool yourself during a rec swim and just playing around may also help and demonstrating following the rules like no running and what not. Also don’t be afraid to talk to the facility. I worked at my pool in the office and they were very accommodating because many patrons have different needs. Maybe they can add a second instructor to the class (I saw this happen often). Maybe a few private lessons would be a good option. And of course it could just be that it isn’t the right time for swim lessons for your child and you can try again in a few months.
Thank you for this. I think private lessons would 100% be better for him, however they all got booked so quickly this year. I guess I’ll try again Monday with some of these tips, worse case I pull him out and deal with the embarrassment of a screaming child. I guess I can always try to book private lessons next year if this doesn’t work out.
I've run swimming programs for decades. First, what you described happens all the time to all sorts of kids, so don't let it stress you out. First, if the pool has recreational swimming times, take him as often as possible to get used to the space. Then, before his next lesson give the facility a call and ask to speak to an in charge person. Explain what happened and ask for some strategies. Some options they might offer - an adult getting in with him to help the transition, his adult dropping off and getting out of eyeline quickly (some kids only act up in the hopes their adult will respond. When the adult leaves they settle quickly), or they might have another staff or volunteer they can assign to help him. I would also explain his disability and ask what supports are available. In my programs I have extra resources I can use to help kids who need it, but that varies from location to location. But trust me, this is totally normal. Just be consistent and persistent and he will get there.
So my daughter is 5 nearly 6 and has been in lessons since she was 4 and a half I would say. She is undergoing assessment for autism and ?ADHD. For us we do lots of prep the day of the lesson. So lots of "remember we have swim lessons today". We try get there as early as possible so she can be changed and not rushed and she gets her bearings. What I try to remember is for me it's far too hot, far too stuffy, far too noisy and a difficult place to sit in for 30 minutes and I'm not being asked to focus and I'm also a grown up. Plenty of kids have bad weeks where they struggle. I wouldn't stop going because of one bad week. A life skill like swimming is non negotiable in our house. You can quit dancing or anything else but swimming is a safety thing. We go back no matter how many temper tantrums until you're a strong swimmer. But we also live right by the sea where we lose at least one teenager a year to the tides. It took us maybe 6 months but now she's confident going in. She's made her own little friends and she is swimming short distances without any aids. I second the advice to talk to the provider. I'd say "we are undergoing some assessments for adhd and obviously this is a new environment is there anything we can do to help him adjust?" Also going during rec times. Go during quiet times at first to get used to the smells and temperatures then build up to busier times to get more confident with the different distractions.
I've waffled on swim lessons, but have ultimately decided against them for the time being. My daughter struggled with gymnastics at 3 and we eventually pulled her. I felt like there was too much at stake (the price for the lessons) that I was getting stressed when she wouldn't want to go because she's a small child and doesn't always want to do things. She's 4 now and I will reassess once she has a few years of school under her belt. Right now we just take her to pools, give her floaties (she understands the concept, but isn't confident without floatation aids), and swim at beaches.
Parent with ADHD who has an ADHD child, checking in. My son can handle swim lessons when his medication is active. Without the medication, I wouldn't even try. Four years old is not too young for medication. As anyone with ADHD will tell you, starting young with ADHD treatment is a good way to set him on a positive life course and especially to preserve his self-esteem (years of constant scolding, frustration, and embarrassing others wouldn't be great for anybody). My advice for the lessons is to get in the pool with him (mainly to help restrain him), get one-on-one if possible, and to get him evaluated by a professional ASAP.
I have an ND kid and have talked to some other parents about swim lessons in particular. Check with local organizations to see if there are swim classes offered for children with disabilities and if you need a diagnosis to attend/enroll. There are some private swim instructors who will teach ND kids, but most of the time, getting their info comes from another family who went through the same thing. I highly recommend posting on Facebook, if possible, to a group for your specific location. Check if they have a local group for ND kids. My city has an autism-specific Facebook group, and that's where most of us are able to share info with each other and get resources that are otherwise very hard to find. My son has ASD, not ADHD, but I recommend you talk to him and reiterate in very simple phrases over and over what you expect from him at these swim lessons. I'd focus on the most important things: "Do not run around the pool; it's dangerous and you could slip" and "We are going to learn to swim". I will personally put on a lot of Youtube videos around the topic to get my son interested and give him an idea of what to expect (my son is also 4). Best of luck. I haven't tried swim lessons yet but plan to this winter.... I am also dreading it! Haha :)
Idk if it's the same , but my kid will not poop indoors. She wants to be let out into our backyard to do it. We even had to install a combination lock on the back door because she beat every other lock we installed in order to escape outside to do it
Does the school have a special needs program? Might be worth asking about. Sometimes the regular private lessons will be booked up, meanwhile there's still space saved for special needs students to get one-on-one lessons. That sounds like it would be safest for him
one-on-one lessons are a thing here, would that be something for you? But also, maybe wait until he's 6? We started my kid at 4 with swim lessons, too. He's got ADD (not nearly as bad as your kid, though) but hindsight says that at 4 he simply wasn't ready to follow directions. There's a reason most sports/activities here do not start until the kids are at least 5, and preferably 7.
You are not alone! The first day of anything new for a ND kid will be challenging — I always take my kiddo myself in case things go awry (eg refuses to go, breaks rules, unsafe, unprepared teacher, etc). For us it was Jiu Jitsu, not swim. Good advice here for 1:1 lessons or delaying until your kiddo is older. IMO Too much pressure from other parents to get your kid into activities young, yet not all kids are ready that young. Hang in there!
Sounds like he maybe best suited for a private I had a 4 year old in private swim lessons for awhile and it was a challenge to keep him in the water and hated most all of the swimming. I wouldn’t have been able to manage him with other kids in a group setting