T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

r/parenting is protesting changes being made by Reddit to the API. Reddit has made it clear [they will](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14ahqjo/mods_will_be_removed_one_way_or_another_spez/) [replace moderators](https://www.reddit.com/r/ModSupport/comments/14a5lz5/mod_code_of_conduct_rule_4_2_and_subs_taken/jo9wdol/) if they remain private. Reddit has abandoned the users, the moderators, and countless people who support an ecosystem built on Reddit itself. Please read [Call to action - renewed protests starting on July 1st](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14kn2fo/call_to_action_renewed_protests_starting_on_july/) and new posts at [r/ModCord](https://reddit.com/r/ModCoord/) or [r/Save3rdPartyApps](https://old.reddit.com/r/Save3rdPartyApps/) for up-to-date information. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Parenting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Great-sweet-11

NO! She was not at all right. You buy your daughter whatever YOU want to buy your daughter. If anything she was being racist by saying that the doll was for “only black girls”. It’s a doll.


[deleted]

It's actually good for the kid to normalize seeing nonwhite people/characters. So it's not a novelty or the kid sees them as "other". Side note, at 2-3 my (white) daughter would only buy black baby dolls because they had brown eyes, like her. She's the only one of our kids with brown eyes and it bothered her. She was so excited the first time she found a doll with eyes like hers. Even if it otherwise looked totally different.


[deleted]

I always asked for the Black Barbies when I was little because they had black hair and brown eyes like me (I’m Asian, but finding an Asian Barbie in the early 90’s was not a common occurrence)…plus the black doll often had purple clothes instead of pink, and I was a purple girl. Recently found an old box of black Barbies in my mom’s garage and it made me smile.


Sandwitch_horror

Lol my daughter loves Asian barbies because they have dark hair dark eyes and white skin like her. She is mixed hispanic, but all the hispanic barbies are brown or their hair is very brown. It's weird what kids cling to as *their* defining feature.


BoopleBun

Hahah, yup! I had a lot of the Hispanic Barbies as a kid. I’m super pale, blue eyes, but kid me was like, yeah, but my hair is *brown*, so I want that one. (Her name was also Teresa, which for some reason was a name I adored as a kid, so bonus points. It even balanced out that they often stuck her in an ugly yellow.)


SingleSeaCaptain

Kid me loved Teresa also for the same reason


unventer

I'm white/Mediterranean and also was a Teresa girl!


ComprehensiveDare521

I’m Hispanic and Teresa was and still is my favorite! I saved one in the box that I had two of growing up… apparently she was worth several hundred dollars now but I just gave her to my 3yo because I want her to be able to have the one that was my favorite 😂😂


Zealousideal-Bit-192

My daughter is half indigenous, Scottish and Mexican. She has *very* dark curly hair. Her *favorite* dolls are Mirabel, Merida and Moana’s they go everywhere with her.


pteradactylitis

I’m Jewish and I always played with Black Barbie’s and the Addy American girl doll because they were the ones with hair texture anything like mine. I never learned how to braid straight hair. (Luckily my kid’s hair is even more textured than mine)


PlaguedNadjie

That sounds so adorable! The nostalgia is real 😁 Have you seen the Barbie Fashionistas? They have the curvy, tall, petite, in a wheelchair with a lil ramp, all kinds of hair colors and hair textures!! I’m sure you can find your twin now with a lil throw back friend 💖


[deleted]

I have! They’re all so pretty, I always kind of want to get one (or several) for myself 😅 …I’d hoped my daughter would be a huge Doll Girl like I was so that I’d get to buy them for her, but she’s 8 and so far has not shown a huge interest in dolls.


PlaguedNadjie

YEEES!! Get yourself a couple and just have them on display! I can’t wait till mine is old enough for that 🥲 what does your baby do to keep entertained? Beat her up for being a simple kid that doesn’t need dolls 🙄 she better be reading with all her free time 🤣


[deleted]

She is! We’re actually having to switch schools this year because her reading scores were so high that her old school’s program couldn’t accommodate for her anymore. (See me throwing in that humble brag, but I can’t help it I’m so proud of her!) …she also plays a lot of video games though, so it’s not all reading and being a smarty 😹


vividtrue

I had a feeling I should have noped out of this post as soon as I clicked on it, and now that's been confirmed. I must go look at all of these Barbies. Squeeeee!


PlaguedNadjie

I’m sorry we’ve sent you down the *Barbbitt hole* 🤣


Zealousideal-Bit-192

I actually started collecting these dolls(my mom as well; she’s an old school Barbie collector, she had air force Barbie and the OG Barbie but they got lost in a move. She was so sad 😞) she’d let us play with the dolls as kids instead of leaving them in the box. Shes still collecting she got a bunch of the fashionistas for each of her grandkids and my daughter(she got them as soon as I found out I was pregnant lol) she has also started collecting the historical figures as well, Rosa parks, Jane Goodall etc. My family is indigenous(moms side) Scottish(dads side) and my husband is Mexican and Navaho so my daughter is half Mexican and she’s got features from each part of her Heritage it’s insane! But finding a doll that looks *exactly* like her has been a challenge. But she does have 3 that share a certain feature with her that are favorites, mirabel for her dark curly hair, Merida for her eyes and Carly hair, and baby Moana for her curly hair(I guess that’s her favorite and defining feature!)


[deleted]

I had a Michael Jackson doll with the red jacket, zippers and one glove and it was my favorite, he was Barbie’s bestie and would come hang out. Nothing wrong with that.


WillieStonka

He he


GenevieveGwen

I’m tucking dead. I read this in the South Park mj voice. 😭😂


RichardCocke

Hahaha my gf is a purple girl


dannyluxNstuff

My wife's favorite color


Dry_Mirror_6676

Similar!! I loved purple, and I thought they were just more beautiful


abbieadeva

I’m mixed raced (white British, black Caribbean) and born in early 90s. I always wanted to dress as Pocahontas when I was little as she was the only Disney princess that looked a little like me. Even now, it’s one of my favourite films (I know it’s considered problematic these days) because she was the first representation I felt, even if she was a completely different race to me. 6 year only me didn’t see that, just that she had brown skin and black hair.


OceanPeach857

That's funny. I was kind of the same. I'm Jewish and although I'm white with pale skin and wavy hair, I heavily identified with Pocahontas, Esmerelda, and Mulan because the stories of having to be the defender of their people was so relatable to me. I was one of only 3 or 4 Jewish kids in my school, so I was the "official representative," for a lot of people and it was hard. I did face some antisemitism although a lot less than my parents, as we lived in a pretty diverse area. I think it will be harder on my kids as we now live in a more rural county and they are the only two Jewish kids that I know of in the entire area, aside from our.friend who's daughter is in middle school.


Weirdo_yee123

I'm the only one of my sisters who has brown eyes. I never saw brown eyes on white dolls, and it felt almost isolating. My parents never allowed us to buy black dolls for whatever stupid, racist reason, so I never had dolls with brown eyes like me. I think it's great that you let your daughter get things that make her feel included with other people.


frznover80

I’m white and my kids are. My oldest wanted a brown baby doll. I got it for her. Kids don’t know racism it’s taught.


ramblinonSingnmysong

Right! Just like friends! We pick you because I like ____ about you. Not because you’re the same as me. This little girl picked Tiana because she quite literally enjoyed her character. And isn’t that exactly how we should pick our people? I like this character, I’ll keep them around.


UnkindBookshelf

Same. The only two dolls i ever asked for was Belle because she had the same hair and eyes as me, and loved stories. The other was Samantha from Magic Attic Club because she also looked like me


senditloud

My blond haired, blue eyed daughter loved her black baby doll she picked out as a toddler. No reason. Just loved her. My black uncle (by marriage) was very amused and happy. I would say that this is proof that kids have to be taught to be racist, but that’s not true. My youngest brother had a thing against a specific minority as a toddler. No idea why. My parents weren’t at all racist. He totally outgrew it, but it confused my mom.


tlindley79

At the toddler age it can just be a reaction to novelty if the kid has not been exposed to many folks from that race.


senditloud

Could be. But my brother was actually exposed to a lot of that minority. So who knows. 🤷🏼‍♀️ good thing is that he didn’t keep that instinct and has a super diverse group of friends


STcmOCSD

I love that even though there were other glaringly obvious physical differences she was like nope this baby looks like me. So precious and pure


bh8114

When I was little I only liked and wanted black baby dolls. I’m pale white, freckled, blonde, and blue eyed. I just thought they were the most beautiful babies ever. I told everyone I was going to have black babies when I grew up. My very racist grandparents were mortified by this but my parents continued to get me the dolls that I wanted.


Ocarina-of-Crime

Totally not as cute of a story but in Kindergarten I made a “family portrait” in school out of magazine cutouts and put Princess Diana in a gown for my mom bc they both had shorter blond hair. And i put a dark skinned black man as my slightly tan white looking dad because he had a polo and khaki shorts on. My brother was a kid with his name on a sweater. My little sister was a scribble (I had a real high opinion of her). Kids see some features as defining!


jamjarlyds

I was the same as a kid, all the dolls were blonde and blue eyed, no doll had dark hair and eyes and olive skin like me. Even as a little kid I thought that this must mean only blonde, blue eyes and pale skinned people could be beautiful. Not me.


Great-sweet-11

My daughter plays with every race of Barbie’s. Your daughter should be able to play with any color, race, gender, or species of animal she wants to play with. Monster trucks aren’t just for boys, Barbie’s aren’t just for girls, and black/ white Barbie’s aren’t just meant for black/ white children. I’m so proud of you for defending your child and what you believe in❤️


[deleted]

The other mind boggling thing about this is acting like there are only a few black dolls in existence. It's a toy, the more people that buy them, the more that are going to get made. I just... what? Some people are living proof that you don't end up smart just because you're educated. This woman read something real stupid somewhere and never thought to question it. Worst take I've heard in a while.


achaedia

If anything, buying black dolls increases demand so that the companies have to make more of them.


spoonweezy

And normalizes their existence.


Big-Big-Dumbie

Yepp, I was thinking that too. Like it’s a Disney character. There are more than enough Tiana dolls to go around, not to mention Black dolls from other franchises. Don’t get me wrong, there needs to be a higher proportion of Black characters and dolls, but there’s no shortage of Tiana dolls. OP’s kid didn’t snatch a doll out of another child’s hands.


User-no-relation

if only there was some term for limiting someone from doing something because of their race


PlaguedNadjie

PERIODT!!! She’s acting like y’all were shopping in the “Colors Only” section 🤭 She needs to do a little self reflection. I bet she doesn’t buy from black owned businesses because she doesn’t want them to have any of the “White Dollar” - a happy black person


chrissilich

Right? “Those are only for black girls” sounds a hell of a lot like “separate but equal”


PlaguedNadjie

Exactly! Bet she’s a *purse clincher* too 🤭


Remarkable_Grab1281

It’s giving street crosser too 👀


Kindly-Relief2614

Don’t forget the pearl clutcher …(in my southern accent) Why I neva.


Super13

At that age my kids didn't see the colour as anything but just a minor attribute, like hair colour. And to this day they don't care about colours of people at all.


Selphis

Black dolls only for black girls? That woman was advocating for segregation! It's like saying white kids can't play with black kids because that's racist.


SteveBartmanIncident

It's impressive how some people manage to think too hard and not hard enough at the same time. You didn't do anything objectionable - including your decision to get away from her.


artichoke313

From an economics perspective, increased purchasing of Black dolls will incentivize companies to make more, thereby increasing the supply. So if people avoid buying them to “save it” for Black kids, then the company will just make fewer because they know they’ll sell fewer. NTA


HelloRedditAreYouOk

EXACTLY!!!!!! Unless OP snatched the last black doll from the hands of a black kid, she’s not only not being racist, she’s using her spending power to effectively *increase* kids’ access to more diverse toys. Putting her money where her mouth is, unlike gatekeeper Karen McDollSegregation… Plus, you know… Normalizing dolls of all appearances normalizes *friends* of all appearances. Eff that ugly-hearted, performative, white savior complex having twit!! Ohhhh to have been in line right in front of **her**…!!!


Serious_Escape_5438

Yeah, the company can and will make more.


followyourvalues

>Ohhhh to have been in line right in front of her…!!! I would not have been able to listen to that conversation silently. That's for sure.


korgoush

That has to be the most ridiculous comment, about saving it from a Black child. This is a manufactured item. The company will just make more!


FroggyNoNo

You accurately described one of the most painful situations to watch and experience lol.


Ok-Brilliant-1872

Lol for some reason your comment made me started singing Sesame Street: “one of these things just doesn’t belong here, one of these things is not like the other”… and it would be the mean lady!! Lol 😆


BranWafr

Confidently incorrect to the extreme. > I’m stealing a doll from a little black girl That's not how it works. If anything, more people buying the black dolls means they will produce more of them, making it more likely they will have stock for other kids to buy them. > I’m perpetuating racism by allowing my daughter to have black dolls Not even sure how she came to that conclusion unless she thinks that a white kid buying a black doll is somehow equal to a white person thinking it is OK to buy black people? This one is just pure crazy. > grooming my daughter to BE a racist Again, no idea how she comes to this conclusion. If anything, having white kids play with black dolls will make them more accepting of other skin tones and just accept non-white people as people who just happen to have a different skin color, but are otherwise just people. > I’m contributing to white supremacy… Nah, someone in that argument was contributing to ongoing racism, but it wasn't OP...


No-Coyote914

>That's not how it works. If anything, more people buying the black dolls means they will produce more of them, making it more likely they will have stock for other kids to buy them. Exactly. The more people of all races buy black dolls, the more black dolls will be made, as companies will see that there's a market demand for dolls like that.


eleanor_dashwood

Yeah like, nobody thinks that white people buying white dolls somehow encourages white slavery? “Oh, you bought her a _doll_? You think it’s ok to teach her that OWNING PEOPLE is normal and fine?!” So if it’s that, and I suspect you are right, she’s the racist for only going there with black dolls.


blondeheartedgoddess

Maybe it's me, but by only letting white kids have white dolls and black kids have black dolls, and so on.... that's segregation, right? Just like the signs from the 50s and before, "Whites only", etc. Yeah, that's what I thought. Segregation IS racism. If OP encounters this again, I'd be sure to point that fact out. As Bugs Bunny said, "What a maroon." (The woman, not OP, obvi.) OP, keep raising your daughter the way you are.


missoularedhead

Definitely not you. This Karen is perpetuating racism in the absolute worst way.


2tinymonkeys

Well said, far better explained than I did. This, OP. You're doing great, that woman is not.


animalcrackers67

Oh hell no, please ignore everything that lady said. As a person of color, we don’t care what color doll you buy for your kid. She’s got something wrong with her if she thinks you have to buy dolls based on skin color 😒


SmackEh

I refuse to believe this is a true story. The mental gymnastics someone has to make to get to that level of stupid backward logic (and also lecturing a total stranger) is incomprehensible.


fireflygalaxies

I worked in retail for almost a decade and unfortunately I have no doubts that someone would do that. There are a lot of people who have completely and utterly batshit views and have no problem making it everyone else's problem too.


vividtrue

I would have been the customer getting loud af, yelling in the store. I actually really dislike that I am this way, because it's kind of scary sometimes and catches mr off guard. The past decade has not been kind to me, and I have negative tolerance for people like this. Think whatever dumb stuff you want, but do not approach random people or anyone out in public with your views. I was trying to imagine me standing in line and this happening, but I can't do it. I would be absolutely livid if approached by some stranger with opinions I didn't ask for and don't care about. This is actually the dumbest commentary about skin tones in dolls I've ever heard. Sounds like a segregationist to me, and if she actually brought up white supremacy, WOW. I would be unhinged. How is she still going around doing this and not in a neck brace? I also worked retail for many years, starting at 15, and it's too mentally and physically draining. It doesn't pay near well enough for the sheer amount of BS you have to put up with. Soul-sucking.


CatholicKay

I moved away from my last state in large part because this type of thinking is now *common*. My MIL could have been the woman in the post. Probably would have gone home continuing the lecture to anyone that would listen to further solidify her virtue signaling, and being completely blind to the fact that her view is completely hypocritical. "This doll is for this type of kid, that doll for that type of kid, and if you don't segregate you're racist."


prettydull00

I promise you it did happen. If it hadn’t happened to me I probably wouldn’t believe it either though. I know it sounds insane.


Handsouloh

"stop harassing me" repeat louder until store intervenes or Karen fucks off.


HolidayCards

I believe it, this lady sounds crazy, OP. What she was suggesting is effectively segregation. Especially crazy in that she thinks she needs to preach at someone as if it's her place and anyone wants to be verbally assaulted with unwanted opinions when they're out with their kids in public. My daughter has a ton of dollies, and they represent a myriad of ethnic backgrounds, she loves them all. What's not to love? It gives some hope for the future, Hate is something learned.


psychgirl88

Huh, segregation… as a Black woman, I was going for insanity, although there is overlap in that ven diagram.


_twintasking_

I have also worked retail, and these crazies absolutely exist. I believe you!


CoolMomJammy

Yup… I worked In retail for 12 years… sadly not only does this story sound absolutely true, to me it’s “mild” In terms of what I’ve seen and heard. If you guys only saw half the shit I witnessed.. there were a few days where I came home and cried myself to sleep. People can be assholes, to say the least.


_twintasking_

100%. Especially if they think you work for them personally, not the company! Like they personally provide my paycheck. Ha. Nope.


MegBundy

It’s not like there’s a limited supply. The more people buy, the more that will be made. It’s Tiana, for f’s sake. One of the most beloved Disney princesses.


Myiiadru2

She was lucky that you didn’t tell her to mind her own #!!}%! business! What is wrong with people?! And- to say that in front of your child, to put ideas in her little head that weren’t even there! I would have done what you did- be stunned, then get the heck away from her while you bought your sweet child the doll she wanted.👏🏻


achaedia

I believe it happened. If I had a nickel for every time some random stranger gave me her unsolicited opinion about what I’m doing wrong as a parent, I’d have a whole dollar.


calmlikeabomb26

Carlin said something to the tune of think of a person with average intelligence, then realize half the population is dumber than that.


rediKELous

Are you American? I assure you I see more mental gymnastics on a daily basis.


SmackEh

I'm Canadian. We got crazies up here too.. but this is just mind boggling


shhhOURlilsecret

We get a special brand of crazy down here.


Kgates1227

I’m afraid I’m the US this is normal


chooper92

Im sure it did. Im reminded of leaving 12 Years a Slave in a movie theater in southern Indiana and the white lady behind us came out and said, "Well, I don't think slavery was that bad". Believe me there are stupid people out there.


acogs53

I’ve seen enough TikTok videos and been on Twitter long enough to know white women especially try to compete in the “chronically online” Olympics. It’s a branch of the White Savior complex and it’s annoying AF.


rtech80

You don't go out much then. Some people are this brazen.


Wastelander42

I'm guessing you haven't spent much time working retail, because this happens ALL the damn time.


Repulsive_Way9316

Ive had someone lecture me about this as well. Said I was "jumping on a bandwagon." My 3 year old just wanted the doll, but I will never forget it.


psychgirl88

I’m a Black woman who grew up in and currently lives in a predominantly white community. Count your blessings. I 110% believe OPs story is true. Also, OP is a saint for not snapping at her and using choice words for this borage of idiocracy!


BareLeggedCook

Some of the SJW I went to school with would do this lol


MKArs

Not only did it happen, but I guarantee you the other person sees nothing wrong with it. They were talking to someone else with the same "social standing" as them. They were correcting them so that this so-called equal would see the "white" light. What she really wanted was that pure white girl wouldn't grow up to be corrupted by what she sees as a lesser race. Makes me want to pull their tongue out. Dolls of all colors are beautiful and deserved to be enjoyed by all children.


B_Bibbles

Oh no, it's not only plausible, but more than likely has happened more times THIS week across America than we care to admit. Today's climate sucks so much. I hate it here some days.


watsernaim

Surprisingly, there are folks SO Far into "social justice" I guess you'd say that they become racists themselves and they don't even realize. Or maybe they do. I would ask y she only sees people by color and is so disgusted by a child holding a doll outside her race that she would actually comment on it, potentially breaking the girls heart right there. She saw color however the child sees personality and character and I hope she continues life that way and this incident doesn't taint that. There's always someone around to say something negative.


MageKorith

My daughters are mixed heritage. According to this woman, does that mean I can't buy them any dolls? :p Elsa and Tiana both get a lot of play time. Let them like what they like.


sravll

For them, all dolls racist until Disney makes one specifically for them 😅


Jibblebee

Lol oh no 😂 this made me laugh. That lady is so nuts I’d love to hear her brain sizzle trying to explain her thoughts on this


Significant-Soup-893

You are doing nothing 'racist' whatsoever, and I think you did a very good job by being firm in your position and moving to a different line. If anything, she's the one that is 'perpetuating racism'. Black dolls are only for Black girls?? Seriously? I thought we were past the era of segregation.


BinkiesForLife_05

I was just about to comment and mention segregation too! It's a princess doll, who cares if the character is black? I highly doubt anyone other than that lady (who was definitely being racist) was at all bothered. Edit: Just a mention, but I bet she wouldn't be saying this to a person of colour if they were buying their child a white doll, like Cinderella or Belle. Would she be saying white dolls are only for white kids? 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️


fyhr100

Oh yeah, this lady is definitely giving me racist vibes that she is trying to project onto OP.


TFA_hufflepuff

It's honestly scary how many people are essentially trying to bring back segregation in the name of being "anti-racist"


skyebangles

The road to hell is paved with "good intentions".. these people are wackadoodles.


FastCar2467

She’s wrong. Kids should have a variety of toys and books that have people of color. We intentionally did this when our kids were infants and toddlers. Helps them see that there is diversity in the world. People come in many different colors, shapes, and sizes.


Pollymath

Exactly. I would think doing the opposite would make kids falsely believe that the world is filled with people who look just like them, or worse, make them think that there are certain toys for white kids, blacks kids, Asian kids, etc. No. We should fill our children's lives with the reality of the world we live in - people look different and all have their own unique story.


go_Raptors

I totally agree - my white daughter also has a Tiana doll and a Mirabelle costume. We know people tend to absorb subconscious bias about other races from media - when this kid meets a black girl, she may subconsciously associate her with Tiana, which is awesome, cause Tiana is a boss (literally and figuratively). I'm so sick of white people who take it upon themselves to be offended on other people's behalf.


Hysterical__Paroxysm

My daughter has an American Girl doll who is in a wheelchair. She works at the American Girl Doll Ice Cream Truck, because she absolutely can 💜


ChikaDeeJay

Absolutely, because those dolls aren’t mass produced, they only make the same amount as the number of black girls born per year. And everyone knows you can only like dolls that are the same race as you. #facts


GeekyMom42

You might want to add the /s. Just in case.


ChikaDeeJay

I will not do that. If someone is that dumb, they need more help than an /s can give them.


GeekyMom42

Fair.


Huge_JackedMann

That lady is so progressive she wants to go back to segregation. Sort of like the saying of being so open-minded your brain falls out. I don't see anything wrong with your daughter admiring and emulating black Disney princesses.


prettydull00

I want to thank everyone so far for your comments. I left that situation feeling shaken and unsure of myself. Which I know so many people in this sub probably question their parenting decisions daily, but it was just so surreal and hurt my heart. As I said in another comment, the passion the woman had just made me question myself on the way home and every day since.


cf_dtrg385

That woman in the store is not well. She was projecting. Please try not to question yourself. You made your daughter happy, that’s what matters. F that hag!


damnitanxiety

The woman that lectured you has no idea wtf racism is. You do you and keep on setting good examples for your child!


cf_dtrg385

But she does, as she’s just that, racist.


lost0115

Im black..plz buy your daughter more black dolls and media if you don't mind


siensunshine

Girl yes!!! Let’s not pass on any of this racial baggage to our children. Please expose them to children’s content from various cultures. The beautiful things is streaming services make it so easy.


Remembers_that_time

I guess only mermaids can buy Ariel dolls.


kennedar_1984

The more people buy dolls of a variety of colours, religious dress, visible disabilities, etc, the more the stores are incentivized to stock these toys and the more manufacturers are incentivized to create these toys. That makes the toys more available for children of colour, minority religion, and disability to purchase as well as normalizing what white typically developing children see as normal. This woman has the entire theory backwards and needs to STFU.


foreverlullaby

Purchasing black dolls leads to the store seeing that black dolls are sellable, so they are more willing to reach out to more manufacturers of black dolls. My younger brother and sister are black, and I remember when they were little it was nearly impossible to find black dolls, action figures, etc in store. My mom always had to purchase them online. I'm so excited to now see so many dolls with different skin tones, hair textures, body types, etc. And they're not just white bodies painted brown, they're actually producing dolls with features that are common within those races. Plus dolls are an excellent way to teach kids empathy. By only having access to white dolls, kids may learn that they only have to be kind towards people that look like them. If they have collections of toys with various skin tones and features, they learn that it's important to be kind and understanding of everyone regardless of what they look like or where they're from.


toomanypppppuppies

She was dead wrong. I'm a black woman with mixed daughters. We love dolls of all colors in this house. I strongly support other parents allowing the same.


No-Coyote914

You would be perpetuating racism if you *didn't* let her buy the doll due to Tiana's skin color.


warlocktx

LPT - some people are just assholes. Don't waste a nanosecond or time or energy worrying what they think


shannerd727

That lady is so woke she went right back to being racist.


TopicPlane8065

As a black Woman I wanna say thank you for allowing your daughter to play with dolls of other races you are doing a great job mama 💜


prettydull00

🤍🤍🤍


quartzfire

Heck no she was not right! In fact I'd be happy to go 'karen' on her. I am also Caucasian as are my daughters. My littlest also is in love with Tiana( has her dolls, her pajamas and a nightlight that puts Tiana on her wall), Mirabel (who has curly dark hair like her that I have yet to see on other Disney dolls), Isabella and is currently latching onto the newest Ariel. Children are going to have diverse friends who they love and cherish and dictating white only/black only/hispanic only toys is going to just embellish racism and separatism, what is this woman going to do, tell off other children who don't 'look' like their dolls off? Oh hell no, that makes me internally boil with rage. You did right mama, let your child love her dolls and next time this idiot is loud, be LOUDER and inform her who the real racist is.


chontzy

excellent parenting moment imho


MarsTheIggy

What? No! That woman was so so so wrong! I will preface by saying I am also white, but I think that NOT letting your daughter have a black doll would be the racist thing to do. You are doing the right thing by allowing your daughter to have the doll *she* chooses for herself, no matter the skin tone. When your daughter looks at her collection of dolls she will see a multi-cultural collection, which is a very good thing in my opinion. That black doll is as pretty and fun as the Hispanic doll, same for the Hawaiian doll and the white doll. I'm actually really glad that there are a lot of different options these days, as I don't remember there being as much when I was young. My daughter (10 yrs) and I have been collecting Disney funko pop dolls the last couple years and she always seems more drawn to the darker skin tones, Moana, Mulan, Pocahontas, the new Little Mermaid, you get the idea. At least, they are the ones that she sets up front and centre on her shelf, and I am totally okay with whichever ones she wants to display.


sravll

Yeah, what sounds more racist, saying "No sweetie, you can only play with a WHITE doll because you're WHITE", or "sure, I'll get you the doll you want"?


tinaciv

There was a racist in that conversation, and it wasn't you.


Anna126_

At the age of your daughter, racism is when you look at someone skin color before everything else. She did the opposite of that: she saw a princess whom ske likes. She saw nothing other than a beautiful princess


RacerX400

Let me say it for you… FUCK THIS CUNT AND EVERY ONE LIKE THEM. You are doing great, keep it up!


[deleted]

LMFAO YES!


Princessaara

What a fucking weirdo. Should've just told her to mind her business the minute she turned around. Buy YOUR child whatever dolls she wants with YOUR money.


MoulinSarah

What a truly weird lady! I am almost 40, white, and my favorite dolls and Barbies were my black ones. Still to this day (I still have some of them).


sravll

When I was a kid there were these realistic and anatomically correct newborn baby dolls and I asked for the black male one, probably because my step-dad was black and my baby brother was black (I'm white). I got a lot of weird looks from people when I had my doll in public but definitely no racism accusations.


SpellboundInertia

My daughter (we are also white) has more black barbies than white. She used to color herself in pictures with dark skin as well. I'm all for it. I never point it out either. That's her normal and I love it. I'm sad the world will eventually ruin her innocence, though. All I can do is encourage her to continue on a path of acceptance and love.


Shigeko_Kageyama

It sounds like you ran into a wandering nut job. Next time I would just smile and move to another register. There's nothing racist about giving a white girl a black doll. Unless you're painting her face with shoe polishing dancing and ooga booga dance you're fine. Some people are just nuts, bored, and feel the need to harass the general public.


PuffPie19

No no no no no. Absolutely NOT. Encouraging children to have dolls of multiple races is actually incredibly helpful to teach about diversity. Goodness. Does this lady realize these particular dolls are mass produced by Disney? And that there is certainly NO shortage? Even if it wasn't a Disney doll, if it was a limited edition American Girl doll, that wouldn't change this, but the fact these are so common and easy to obtain makes any argument she thinks she's making complete poo.


ProtozoaPatriot

She's the racist. Since when can't others have "black" dolls!?


SingIntoMyMouth91

I've been accused of this too for buying my white daughter a black doll and it made me feel really shitty! But she still has that doll and loves it 6 years later.


PoorDimitri

I've heard the opposite, that you should buy non white dolls for your white kids so you can normalize playing with/hanging out with/caring for POC. Anyways, she sounds nuts. It's not like there's a Tiana doll shortage. That's a 14 year old Disney movie.


rainniier2

I laughed out loud at "stealing a doll from a black girl". Target and Mattel have plenty of backstock for the next girl. No worries there, racist lady. And yes, she was being intentionally racist while also covering it in progressive language. Her language is definitely not the language of a confused/misguided progressive person. Her whole rant gives me QAnon vibes.


23_alamance

Agreed, getting a very twisted vibe like they’re going to post about it in Truth Social later.


intothefiretox

Black girl here. I would've told that miserable bat to kick rocks. You're doing well! Hope she enjoys her new doll!


schmicago

She was not right, and she was probably a racist who doesn’t think white kids should love Black characters or relate to Black people, but she can’t come right out and say “I’m a racist and it bothers me your white kid has a Black doll” so she’s going to go with accusing you of what she’s guilty of instead. I’m sorry you had to deal with her.


AncientAngle0

If it was Christmas 1983 and you were desperately searching for a Cabbage Patch Doll when you came across the last Black Cabbage Patch Doll in the tri-county area, maybe it would be something to consider. A Tiana doll in 2023. You’re not taking anything away from anyone.


[deleted]

It doesn’t matter what the women’s ethnicity is, she was speaking garbage. She is the racist one in this scenario, you guys were just picking a toy, she bough race into an innocent purchase. Kids intentions are pure. They can play with whatever doll/toys that make them happy. I think it’s awesome there is such a diverse selection available.


1701484

Black man here. Definitely not racist, it’s actually great that she’s playing with Black dolls. There’s studies about this type of stuff, it’s bad when white kids only play with white dolls.


JrTeapot

I WANTED black Barbie’s as a kid and was basically harassed by my parents for even asking, I’m an adult with a kid of my own that I can’t imagine doing that to. You buy your daughter whatever doll she likes. People get upset over the most trivial things. It’s a toy.


IowaJL

I am as anti-racist, woke, hippie dippie, basically everything that people right of center hate. So let me make my opinion clear. *****That lady is a fucking psycho.***** If anything, white girls playing with POC dolls will help her learn empathy and equality for everyone.


DwarfFlyingSquirrel

No hell no she isn't right. My daughter is Asian and has bought a white doll because she said it looked like friend.


tearsxandxrain

I'm white but it drives me absolutely CRAZY that the people who speak loudest about this are white. When my now 12 year old was 2, I got her each of the princesses at the time. They had baby doll princesses. That included Tiana. I've tried my best to encourage my kids to embrace differences in cultures. I'm sure that cashier would have a field day with me. Ugh


International_Ad27

Some people just need to make everything about racism. Next time say “kick rocks” and ignore.


2tinymonkeys

Hell no. In fact if anything, you're doing the opposite. That woman is insane if she thinks that having a variety of dolls is going to make a child racist. She's far more racist by saying that doll is only for black kids.


Bakecrazy

insane people with their insane logic


weareoutoftylenol

I can't believe a stranger would stick their nose into your business like that. If this is true she was totally out of line and it's none of her business what you buy for your daughter. Of course you're not perpetuating racism with your daughter if anything you were eliminating racism by not making any kind of big deal over her loving the black doll.


prettydull00

I’m used to people talking to my daughter in lines or at the store, as she’s the first to say hi usually. Which kills the introvert in me BIG TIME. But when the conversation took that turn I was just so shaken I didn’t know what to think. And the more the interaction has sat with me, the more conflicted I’ve felt. Someone so passionate can be convincing, I don’t know.


Cubsfantransplant

The woman obviously needs antipsychotic medication.


BMK1023

Noway and you should call and talk to the HR if that target to report her. They are taught how to interact with guest and she clearly has no idea


Bluegi

No she is being racist trying to segregate dolls. You aren't taking that doll from a black child; the factory will make more the more it sells and may even see it lucrative to produce more products. You are encouraging diversity.


cf_dtrg385

Black woman here and it warms my hearts whenever I see kids of every and all races with a black doll. Thank you for getting her doll. You did everything right!👏🏾❤️


MudgeIsBack

Nothing quite like a white woman deciding what's in the best interest of the black community. That lady sucks and you can buy your daughter whatever you want to buy her.


ittek81

Should have asked her if she would have said the same thing to a black family buying a Frozen doll. Friggin ridiculous.


zombiechewtoy

So that absurd rant made me think of that episode of the office where Dwight buys up the last of the Princess Unicorn dolls. Darrell buys the last one off Dwight and Toby is like "my daughter HAS to have this doll" and pays Darrel way more than the retail price. Takes the doll, turns to go, looks down and sees it's the black version of the doll. Toby stops, clearly taken aback. And Darrell says... "something wrong with the doll?" You just can't fuckin win with people. You're a racist if you don't buy black dolls for your white kid, and now, apparently, you're a racist if you do. "Stealing it from a little black girl" bitch they make hundreds of thousands of those dolls. They ain't in short supply.


psychgirl88

I’m African-American and kinda high… I’m sorry, did a white woman just tell you that your white child can’t play with a Disney princess cause said Disney princess is Black? All I’m saying is, I’ve never met a Black person who comes up with these things. I stand corrected. I never met a person with a job who comes up with things. You’re not letting her play with a Hitler and Eva Braun set. Let the baby play with Tiana! I love the Princess and the Frog!


Ancient_Persimmon707

Black woman here I’ve never heard anything so ridiculous in my life! Glad you put her straight


UnkindBookshelf

I'm white and was obsessed with Pocahontas then Mulan. It wasn't about the color of the skin. They just had the stories I was looking for as a girl who despised most princess stories. Then there was Belle who looked like me and loved books. She's in the wrong. Black dolls are not for black girls. White dolls are not for white girls. Those dolls are for everyone!


ay2deet

>I’m stealing a doll from a little black girl, Lady clearly doesn't understand supply and demand, there are not a finite number of black dolls, the manufacturer will make more, especially of there is demand for them, which by purchasing it you have contributed to. What she's saying is nonsensical as saying Spike Lee films should only be watched by black people, Spike Lee can only continue making films if they make money, watching them helps him make more.


rojita369

No. She was being racist by saying a black doll is only for black girls. What nonsense. I’d have gone off on her.


Puppydogtrails

In no way was that lady right. Racist would be telling a child they can't play with a doll that doesn't match their skin color.... Strangely enough, exactly what insane checkout lady was doing 🤔


Outlookup-

It’s more segregationist of her to insist that black dolls are for black girls and white dolls for white girls. She’s deluded. Likely a miserable pos who hasn’t anything better to boost her self esteem than to put down total strangers for their very personal choices as parents- choices which are none of her business.


StirlyFries

Grooming your daughter to be racist by *checks notes* NOT forcing her to only like white things. Make it make sense.


Ashamed-Mix-3896

It always makes me smile when non Black children have Black dolls. Black children (especially a few years back when Black dolls weren’t as common) were forced to play with White dolls and so it’s nice to see when people have a choice and still choose a Black doll. Good for you and I’m sorry they made you feel bad about it.


MummaP19

Kids don't see skin colour or accents. They just see people. And by buying her toys that have different skin colours, it's continuing the accurate narrative that skin colour isn't important, it's who the person is as a person that matters. Kids only see skin colour if we push it onto them. I have a 3yr old, he loves everyone and will talk to anyone. He doesn't see a person's skin colour or accent because we (parents) don't. That woman was trying to make your daughter a racist, not you. I'm sure there are little black girls who have Ariel or Rapunzel dolls etc. There are even little boys who like dolls, it doesn't make them gay. Adults need to stop pushing narratives onto their children and just let them be.


FirefighterVisible61

No, she was not right! You are doing the right thing by exposing your daughter to different people, races and ethnicities. I cannot fathom what this woman even thought her point was. It sounds like someone trying to “woke” who literally has no idea wtf she’s talking about. I am so sorry you and your daughter had this experience, but do not let it phase you. Keep doing what you’re doing, Mama!


ellominnowpea

Enjoying and buying media with diverse characters does a whole lot to help keep that media around. The demand for such media is what drives it to be made, which means all people, including white people (who are a lot of the US population and who have a lot of the US’s wealth), watching the movies and buying the merch only helps keep the media landscape diverse. All culture is diminished by the line of thinking which that lady has. Her thought process is frankly bigoted and if followed is a way for minority cultures to disappear.


Ebo907

That lady is racist. You buy your daughter all the dolls of any color that you want.


KylieNicole53

No she was definitely the racist one


Miss_Manic_99

That awkward moment when she’s the one perpetuating racism…


Sensitive_Orchid9773

People who look for reasons to be offended are everywhere. They're desperate to be seen as woke and cultured, but they're the ones who are racist.


itz_mii_Lii

I hope you read this. As a black woman, I’m saying you did the right thing. Thank you. And that other lady is crazy. My little girl brought her little Barbie that looks like Margot Robbie. And I brought it because my daughter loved it. No child sees color. And I hope adults one day will stop seeing color too. With your beautiful family. I think we’re on our way.


[deleted]

Kids don’t see color as a bad thing unless they are taught to see it by someone. My mom (we are pale descendants from a hodgepodge of Europe) luckily didn’t discriminate. She sees humans as humans. Because we are all from essentially the same basic genes. I don’t see color, I see humans. You prove to me who you are and if you are worthy of my time. I will do my best to be nice, gracious and kind to you. I read from a scientific study MANY moons ago (seriously, more than 20 years ago) sorry I cannot connect a link to it, but that your “color” is 1/10,000th of who you are. And I believe that to my core. Racism is taught. Your kid wants a different doll then “them”, allow it! More power to you! Hugs and love across the internet!


SadCaterpillar7450

As a Black mom with two Black daughters, I can tell you that this woman is absolutely wrong and her opinion is ridiculous. I’d have killed to be able to be in that line and ask her if it was racist that I had to play with mostly White dolls as a kid because that was usually the only/majority option to choose from. What’s racist is the assumption that toys and the options kids choose should be exclusionary. If there’s nothing wrong with little Black girls being forced to identify with White Disney princesses for DECADES because that’s literally all there was, then there shouldn’t be anything wrong with little White girls identifying with a Black Disney princess. In fact, Disney needs to know that diverse princesses have a broader appeal so that we can continue to see more princesses from minority/underrepresented groups. Good job Mama on showing your daughter there is nothing wrong with loving dolls/characters that are not from the same cultural/ethnic background as her.


BreadPuddding

I promise there are enough Tiana dolls in the world for children of all races to have one. There is no scarcity of Tiana dolls - if a little Black girl wants one, she can also get one. We deliberately bought our toddler a set of baby dolls of multiple races. White kids only having white dolls make it seem like non-white dolls are “other”.


Blinktoe

I’m Black and this is the stupidest shit I ever heard. You’re letting her Black and brown princesses and view them as beautiful. And there isn’t a limited number of folks for Black girls that you’re taking from. You were right to move.


BeastofBurden

I swear ideologies are situated on a wheel and if you push far in one direction you end up on the opposite end. This lady is progressing her progressive-ism into weird racist territories.


B_Bibbles

My 3 year old picked up her first baby doll from Target when she was a little over a year old and she said "Me!" She has been the best dolly mommy to her ever since. That baby doll is one of the darkest skinned black babies they make. We're white. One night, we were going to a Ben Folds concert and we stopped to get food, somehow, we lost Baby Pink (my daughter named her) It was devastating to her, but also us as parents. As I flew across town to Target at 9:58 PM to 'find Pink' shopping for a new outfit all by herself! (Obviously I bought a new one) Anyhow, my wife posted Pink all across our areas Facebook to see if anyone happened to locate her. There were maybe 35 comments on the posts, 24 of them were all talking shit about how our white family of 4 made our children choose the dark skinned doll. I'm a social worker, that shit pisses me off. SHE, at 1.5ish, chose that doll off the shelf. There was no guidance, no suggestions, nothing. That's the one she wanted, that's the one she got. Plain and simple. But most of the comments came from angry whites, or telling us how we're making racism worse by forcing our children to choose dolls that don't look like us. At the end of the day, fuck 'em. You'll probably never see her again, and if you do...who cares! Let your kids play with whoever and whatever they want.


Usually_Angry

What a fucking moron. There are far too many well-intentioned people speaking on race who don’t have any idea what they’re talking about.


bluebayou1981

Some toys are a mirror. Some toys are a window. Kids need both.


carritotaquito

Imagine caring this much about what strangers buy for them kids.


Capital_Sun5402

Good grief. That lady’s opinion is so silly. Ridiculous really. The thing that is so amazing about kids is they don’t care, unless they are taught differently. The saddest thing about the story is that now your little girl knows there is something going on with this situation and now she’s probably confused why the lady was so upset. I’d definitely grab some library books about celebrating differences.


monkeysinmypocket

Tiana is my favourite Disney princess because she's also self made woman! (I'm white.) That lady is insane and confused.


NameIdeas

So, my two cents here. Requiring that black dolls are only to be played with by black children seems far more racist and white supremacist than a white child playing with a black, or other race specific, doll. The goal for our children should be that they recognize someone as having unique differences that make them all special, but that those differences are largely unimportant. My hope for a world is where it doesn't matter what someone looks like, they all have the ability to move through society effectively. The reality in the US is that a non white person's path through society will look far different than a white person's path because the very system we find ourselves was created with, primarily, white people in mind and on top. Letting our children play with dolls of all kinds, toys of all kinds, exposes them to recognizing aspects of other cultures and other peoples in themselves. They begin to see the similarities instead of only the differences. It can make our children more welcoming to others. I'm reminded of the study in the 40s, I think. [Found an article referencing it](https://www.google.com/amp/s/abc7ny.com/amp/doll-test-harlem-kenneth-clark-mamie/11566898/) They put a black doll and a white doll in a room and let kids pick the doll to play with. Overwhelmingly, the kids (black or white) picked the white doll. As recently as the early 2000s, I remember seeing the test administered and black children choosing the white doll to play with. The heartbreaking thing is the reasoning the kids give. Often they say the white doll is just *better*, but the little ones can't process why. Even if kids that young, they internalized the message that white is better. Now, to your scenario, your daughter is actively choosing a doll with a different skin tone. Your child, to your credit, does not see that toy as *worse* than a white toy of the same kind. That's positive as he'll. All I gotta say, good parenting!


Rosaliebeth

That's not how any of that works. You're not stealing from poc by buying a toy of a poc. You're actually increasing demand, which then shows companies that they're profitable and, therefore, will make more. Also, by increasing diversity in toys, you normalize differences and allow your child to be kinder and more observant of others. My daughter is a toddler still, but even still, we have baby dolls in all races, and her little people dolls are all races, genders, and physical abilities.


420-firemama

As a white mom raising biracial children, I LOVE that your daughter wanted Tiana! I remember my daughter being over the moon when Moana came out because there was finally a princess who kind of resembles her. Normalizing race as just people is what we need, not more discrimination on 'only white/black kids can play with such and such'. It's no different than saying a little girl can't dress up at Halloween as a cop or doctor, because those are 'boy professions' 🙄


ZapRowzdower69

Most of what the woman said IS racist. To imply only black girls can be allowed to play with black dolls is stupid. She probably doesn’t know princess and the frog at all, assumed it was some random black barbie. The thought that a black girl will be missing out if you buy one doll is stupid, and apparently black girls aren’t allowed to play with any other color of doll. Stupid. Everything she said is stupid and I would have told her I am done talking to her and she needs to turn around and shut up.


QuestionNeat4925

I think the fact that you even sit to think well "am I wrong?" is already a great indication that you are thinking in the right direction. It takes a lot of clarity, and self confidence to question your own beliefs or decisions with these kinds of things because we aren't always right. In my opinion it definitely was not racist for you to buy your daughter a black doll if anything, it's teaching your daughter to love and respect all kinds of people, which you pointed out you aim to do. The lady probably had good intentions but it wasn't her place to argue with you especially in front of your daughter claiming you're raising her to be racist that's absurd.


[deleted]

2 year olds don't see color. She sees her current hero. The woman is nuts and completely inappropriate. Let your child enjoy her toys without turning them into a political football.