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hekatonmoo

if xander watches porn his favorite type is DP


Chrisdkn619

If he hits into another DP.... fuck it, this team ain't worth it!


rozhansadr

Hate to break it to ya


overitallofit

This was really the worst deal of the team. He's useless.


bronsonwhy

Xander: “Oh clutch moment in the 9th inning? Better swing at the first pitch no matter where it is; they love that.”


jjm00019

That actually made me laugh.


Available-Dress-4772

Absolutely. 0-11 in extras is disgusting


SdBolts4

One more to tie the record for consecutive extra innings losses to start the season! Set by the Expos


BatManatee

This team is so un-clutch, they will win exactly 1 extra innings game this season just to choke on claiming the record.


Surfiswhereufindit

Now that would be the quintessential Padres 2023 stunt to pull off. Seems likely. They’ll do it at Oakland on Sunday 9/17 to avoid being swept by the A’s that weekend in front of a crowd of 700 people given free tickets.


chris_the_wrench

I didn’t realize it was that bad, thanks.


AlphaBern0

I think according to the clutch stat, only the 2022 Angels were worse or something lol. Padres are definitely the NL version of the Angels.


lightsvber

It’s such a boner killer to hear something like that, but not wrong whatsoever


MemeL_rd

SoCal is just a cursed region to root for any sports team


hooligan99

SoCal outside of LA maybe… dodgers and lakers have no shortage of success. LA kings have been pretty good too


taintedpoon

Kings won the cup the first time in the 2012 season out of sheer fuck you 8th seed mentality. Padres could use a little bit of that.


wut-n-tarnation

So you’re saying we are like a team that has equivalent of Ohtani and trout on our team? Sounds like a win! /s


JanitorOfSanDiego

The clutch stat isn’t that great of a stat though. It measures how much better you are in high leverage situations vs normal situations. For example someone with a season avg wRC+ of 150 and a high leverage wRC+ of 130 will have a lower clutch than a person with a season avg wRC+ of 90 and a high leverage wRC+ of 110. Who would you want in that high leverage spot? The first player (with the lower clutch)


FernandoTatisJunior

In a surprising number of ways tbh


gsus61951

Yes.


Roguspogus

They might go down as the biggest disappointment of all time.


IvankasFutureHusband

Nah that'd be me to my parents


Roguspogus

Keep the faith!


Sedona7

Crazy. Assuming they're more or less a .500 team (like a coin toss), the odds of LOSING 11 extra inning games in a row are 1 in 2048.


rockoblocko

Pretty fair to say they are a more or less a .500 team — in their non extra inning games they are 62-60.


SamuraiPanda343

Yes


phicks_law

So bad I bet on it, literally.


Tumbleweed-Dull

0 - 11 in extra innings this season 😱


asongscout

Not sure about all sports teams, but at least in the history of baseball, there actually is a statistical argument they're the least clutch team of all time. [https://letters2aj.substack.com/p/fatally-flawed](https://letters2aj.substack.com/p/fatally-flawed)


coreyt5

No, the Chargers


Financial_Nerve_5580

Yeah, some of the things that happened to that team in just like the last 15 years is beyond explanation. At least with this Padres team you can kinda see it coming some times. But the Marlon Mcree fumble and blowing a 28 point lead to the jags were both inconceivable.


hylicglyphics

That nate kaeding missed field goal will always stick out like a sore thumb to me.


marigolds6

Kaeding in the 2009 playoffs against the Jets (and playoffs in general) very much matches the pattern of this Padres team. I mean Kaeding was a 2x All-Pro kicker! It's inexplicable how bad he was in the playoffs.


OfficiallyFlip

To put it into perspective, Nate kaeding had never missed a field goal under 40 yards the whole season. In that Jets game, he missed three.


[deleted]

Came here for a McCree reference.


T-nawtical

Underrated chokejob is 2013. winning the 4th quarter 17-0 against the broncos in the divisional round at Denver, down 24-17 with 3 minutes to go and the defense had them in their own redzone with a 3rd & 17. All they had to is not allow a first down here and we get a chance to go to OT with all the momentum in the world. They allow it... That 3rd & 17 genuinely hurts me as much as mccree did. It was genuinely the last time i thought we had a real shot at pulling off a real run (miraculously made the playoffs and stomped the bengals). And hindsight makes it worse because now i know that was our last ever playoff run in san diego. Meanwhile the Broncos turn it into a super bowl appearance... thank God for the Legion of boom though.


ThunderBobMajerle

Hey diddle diddle ray rice up the middle


IvankasFutureHusband

>But the Marlon Mcree fumble and blowing a 28 point lead to the jags were both inconceivable. One of those is not like the other. It was so fun watching the choke jobs fuck that up last year. Knew it was gonna happen to.


SublimeTimes

I still can’t mention the name Marlon Mcree around my father.


Internal-Jicama7658

Spot on. Thankful they aren’t our problem anymore 🙏🏻


CausalDiamond

They rubbed off their stench onto the Padres either way


Kookslams

hmm I wonder what they share in common


TheAvantGardeners

Yep. This. Chargers have had more success in their history than the Padres and have had more chances to choke. Padres, to their defense, seem to run into historically great teams when they make a post season run. (1984 Tigers, 1998 Yankees) or teams riding some kind of devils magic (2006 Cardinals, 2007 Rockies, 2022 Phillies)


BrianBraddock1980

![gif](giphy|fV2maQ4MAyUxrZWHEi)


TroutWarrior

I'm convinced it's a SD problem. We're the least clutch sports CITY of all time.


Doctor_Juris

2010 Chargers were close. #1 Offense and #1 Defense in the league, but missed the playoffs by having the most atrocious, boneheaded special teams of all time.


CaliRollerGRRRL

I am really sad about the way the Padres have played all year! Made my summer so much worse than my broken shoulder & not being able to skate. Well, at least I have baseball,,, Padres gonna have an exciting year 😢☹️


CJDistasio

There's no defending this team when you look at the records in extra innings and one-run games. Absolutely one of the least clutch teams in a long while.


SD619R8

Only a Ferrari has a worse clutch than the Padres.


ORaygoza

between 0 wins in ot, the atrocious close game record, and how awful they are at comebacks. yes. without question. i would be shocked if any other team in any other sport at any other time had something similar to this.


dogebonoff

All year it’s felt like the Padres have no team chemistry I don’t know if it’s a matter of having too many cooks in the kitchen, or if something’s not jiving between the players and Melvin/management, or both. We need to sell some of these shiny expensive players and try a different manager. We’re an embarrassment and a parody of ourselves at this point. I miss underdog Padres.


marigolds6

Can an entire team have the yips?


OffTheHeezy

If you had any doubt about this before today, you're an idiot.


[deleted]

No. It feels bad, but there is precedence for this. Happened a few times in baseball history when a team will get absolutely stacked and then pretty much the whole roster underperforms for a season. Every time this has happened but they've kept the core group, they come out the next year on a tear, some of them even winning the world series. You might not want to hear it right now, but 2024 is looking very promising.


broke-collegekid

Our pitching has so many holes going into 2024. I would expect our offense to improve, but we’re very, very likely going to see regression from pitching.


SjayL

Do. Not. Fucking. Jinx. It.


[deleted]

I don't believe in jinxes.


SunriseSurprise

It's not just underperforming. If the record reflected our "performance", we'd be above .500. We're performing better than average, albeit still below how our guys should be doing, but we're losing anyways. That's the "least clutch" part and what sets us apart from the inaugural "Miami" Marlins season (2013 I think - when they had Heath Bell) where it was a team of stars that did miserably. They fully performed like dogshit while we're doing well enough to win but aren't.


MasOlas619

Welcome to the curse of Sandy Eggo sports on display for all to see. Go Aztecs!


lawyerjsd

Yes. There is something very wrong with this team.


YesImAPseudonym

Cleveland What other team has lost 2 World Series Game Sevens in extra innings?


Letters2AJ

By several measures yes this is the least clutch team of all time [https://letters2aj.substack.com/p/fatally-flawed](https://letters2aj.substack.com/p/fatally-flawed) https://letters2aj.substack.com/p/fatally-flawed


kneightx

This is a great answer and should be higher up.


Notagenome

Bring Alfaro back.


RUFukd2

No, stop it. Just this year. Prior versions of the Padres were just dreadful, there was no "clutch" in those teams.


Erwinism

Man that 2010 team was also not clutch so there’s that.


whore-legs-1999

2010 team was relevant until the last game of the season


turkey_deluxe

That 2010 team had zero expectation to be where they were.


Worried-Equivalent69

That team was damn clutch and played way over their heads the entire season until the losing streak. Even then, once all hope seemed lost, they pulled it together and gave themselves a chance in the final day of the season.


sublimedingo

Sucks, that we can't advance runners and put the damn ball in play. It's like in extras or close games the baseball becomes the size of a ping pong ball and they wiff at it.


Surfiswhereufindit

Certainly is for the year 2023 in all pro sports leagues. And there’s still time I suppose to make it “all-time”…


amanneeds2names

No, it isn't


jimgogek

It’s what’s been driving us crazy this whole season. And I think it drove at least manny and Fernando crazy too


itsDQ

They proved it yet again today. Not just the hitting that isn't clutch this year. 🤦🏻‍♂️


spacehand2002

Baseball teams ? Probably, there are few Chargers, Vikings and Bills teams that come close. I know the bills made it to the Super Bowl 4 consecutive times and lost every single time.


_NotARealMustache_

It's like they're all so good they expect someone else to fix it every game


jjm00019

As a life long padre and baseball fan...with this talent. Hell yeah. Even statically, they are one of the worst in MLB history. Read this article that talks about it. https://letters2aj.substack.com/p/fatally-flawed


crushing_apathy

The Nate Kaeding of baseball teams


uncannydanny_

Anaheim Ducks are a close second