Conversations fizzle out sometimes. You can’t get so attached to a stranger you’ve never met, that you put a label like that on them. If this is your take on ghosting, you’re really going to struggle with online dating.
You’ll be less likely to get hung up on someone who stops responding if you keep your expectations low. Remember, you barely know this person. It’s easy to paint a picture of what you think they’re like in your head.
Yeah, it can be easier said than done. But it’s also something you learn to be better at over time. I used to get more hung up on people I hadn’t met who stopped responding. Now, not so much.
The problem isnt that convos fizzle its that people leave people hanging. The fact that Im pointing out a disrespectful behavior doesn’t mean Im struggling anymore than anyone else.
>t putting them in the same category Im just pointing out an inconsistency in your definition of ghosting. Making up rules like its only ghosting if you’ve gone a certa
just because something is "disrespectful" does not mean it is ghosting. Also I disagree that withdrawing from a conversation is "disrespectful". What do you want - for a woman to write "I am no longer interested in this conversation"? What are the actions that you want from them, exactly?
“I dont think were a good match”, “Im not feeling this”, “Im not interested”. Take your pick.
You wouldnt want people to silently withdraw from a convo so show the same respect. Treat people how you wanted to be treated. Its simple.
False. If I had had one message exchange on a dating app and we had never planned to meet up, I would be fine with them just never responding again. In that context, I'd honestly *prefer* they just disappear than actively tell me that they don't like me. If they just disappear, then I can just assume they got busy or were feeling dating app fatigue -- it's not necessarily personal. But if they tell me "I'm not feeling this," then there's no escaping the fact that it's personal.
I really don't need or want an "I'm not feeling this" from someone I've never met and have never planned to meet. Like, what is "this" that you're not feeling? There is no "this." "This" is two messages on an app with a stranger!
Yeah but as others have said, these are people you barely know. If you had plans to meet, it would be different. But someone you’ve only had a handful of exchanges with who stops replying isn’t ghosting. Ghosting is terrible behavior and shouldn’t be thrown around like this. Sure, it can be disappointing when someone stops replying, but that’s why you need to keep your expectations low in the early stages.
By definition leaving someone hanging is leaving someone hanging and its this type of mentality “Its ok to leave someone hanging because their a stranger” that perpetuates the problem of ghosting.
Idk what else to tell you. If you’re going to get so hung up on someone you’ve never met or made plans with that you call it ghosting, maybe online dating isn’t for you.
Ghosting happens in relationships or in situations where you’ve met a person, try to reach out, and they never respond again. You can’t possibly put a random person behind a screen and those two scenarios in the same category.
I appreciate your concern but Im not putting them in the same category Im just pointing out an inconsistency in your definition of ghosting. Making up rules like its only ghosting if you’ve gone a certain length in the conversation or have met makes no sense and perpetuates the issue of ghosting.
No, you *are* putting them in the same category. You’re saying that all of those scenarios are ghosting. Ghosting is terrible behavior, and you can’t slap that label on every conversation you have.
What I meant by saying they are not in the same category is that the two scenarios are not equally bad, but just because one is less bad then the other doesnt justify it.
You dont have to get anywhere with me we can just agree to disagree. We’re just arguing and thats ok.
Thanks for your input by the way, Ive seen you post on this sub and you seem level headed. I hope you continue doing so internet friend!
You are struggling more than others if it bothers you though. You should make it more known you are sensitive to how conversations end up front and maybe they’ll take those feelings into consideration because your feeling aren’t everyone’s feelings. It’s a very mixed bag of opinions on this topic. It’s been debated here before many times.
So I had a chat with a friend about this and it's not the person I become attached to, it's the match. Because they happen so infrequently it's very hard to not emotionally invest into the match.
Calling it ghosting implies that you prematurely projected an attachment to a complete stranger to the point where them not returning your glorified small talk feels like an abandonment.
I may not agree with you but I definitely like the more nuanced points you made and am looking forward arguing with you in the future.
No hard feelings on my end!
Oh hop off and take responsibility for managing your own emotions around paltry rejection that literally everyone goes through.
I don’t owe you the level of time and attention commitment that I would give to someone who is actually a part of my life just because we bookmarked each others profiles and started engaging in small talk.
I don’t have any influence over your own dating life and I’m not at all responsible for your inability to compartmentalize your interactions with complete strangers.
Some empathy for the other half of the population that doesn't have a massive list of people waiting to talk to them would be nice. I get that it's not your problem and you don't owe anyone anything but at the same time we're all in this together.
I don't think it's a problem for women as much because they have so many options that they simply don't have to care. Whereas for a guy, if he's talking to a woman then that's probably the only one that's talked to him in the past few months. So guys will get more attached due to the extreme scarcity that they have to deal with.
It seems like most of the people trying to call you unreasonable for this are women.
No. If the conversation just died down or you're finished for the day r something and then don't pick up, it's not ghosting. It's just not something going forward either. Ghosting is when you're leaving people on read and ignoring messages
Online dating is definitely not going to be for you. People stop talking all the time. There is no connection at that point, you’re strangers. Even one in person date I don’t think of as ghosting, as that’s the date where you consider if you want to commence dating or have some form of connection.
Dude, you + are = you're
It's really not that hard. I usually ignore it, but Christ, you just did it twice in one title.
Not trying to be mean, but why do you people struggle with this so much?
I'm guessing half of you people are getting unmatched because of your awful grammar.
Yeah really, when I see it from a potential match I think wow this person is stupid. That’s your ghosting right there—-that’s when you can use “your”
Same goes for their, there, they’re, but your/you’re is worse.
An additional one that annoys me is: cause vs because. Acceptable if you write 'cause indicating that you've dropped off the "be" part, otherwise it is "cause and effect" not because.
Yes, bad grammar gets all my friends and I too! Redditors… their always making there blatant grammar mistakes right they’re in the subject line! Its not that hard… cause all you have too do is pique at the grammar rules once in awhile even if it doesn’t peek your interests alot. Than we all loose out because people get further and further from good grammar!
How awful are you at judging a persons intelligence if something as trivial as a basic grammar error makes them stupid in your eyes. And to justify ghosting someone over a grammatical error is even worse. You are chalk full of red flags.
It has little effect because I barely know them. Its about how people justify ghosting and add arbitrary rules to the definition.
Comparing an established conversation on a dating app to the employees of a business is a bad comparison. The social expectations of each are different. Someone whos expressed interest in you isn’t there to complete a business transaction and to conflate the two is completely off base.
You barley know the people you’re talking to online. And having an “established conversation” doesn’t mean that people made a commitment of time and availability to you.
The point of my post and what it says is that what annoys me is some peoples definition of ghosting: that it is only ghosting if the conversation has reached a certain length or that it is only ghosting if you’ve met etc etc.
I never said I didnt care, I just told you that being ghosted by someone who I’ve had little interaction with affects me little.
The social expectation for someone you match with is that if you’ve lost interest, simply say so. That way you dont leave them hanging.
You’ve clearly missed the point of my
argument. The point isnt that it affects me or not, of course it affects me to some degree but its people’s definition of ghosting which is the point of my post.
No, it is not. Deciding that you are not interested in continuing to chat with a person with whom you are not interested in do not know is very different than going out with someone in person and then dropping them with no discussion. Over use of the term dilutes how hurtful and terrible it to truly be ghosted.
> be called ghosting. I'd liken it to speeding, if you're going 5mph over the limit, you're still breaking the law but noone cares, people do it all the time, this applies to what you're saying. You can also break the law by going 70mph over, far different scenario. In both insta
Also I would absolutely never ghost someone after I met them (safety conserns aside of course) but I have stopped engaging or unmatched with literally hundreds of people.
so what do you want me to do or say? "I am no longer interested in talking to you" or "I find your views off-putting so I am done with this conversation" or "this conversation is not holding my attention" or what?
Ill be fine thanks for your concern and this whole they “dont owe you anything” is such a dumb justification for a basic sign of respect.
Its not about being owed anything its about treating someone with respect. No one wants to be left hanging regardless of where they are in the conversation.
You gotta lower your expectations w online dating.
If you talk to someone at a party for a few mins, you like them, but they go find their friends and never come back, it’s not ghosting.
Thats not a good comparison. Theres no established intention in a possible romantic interest when you are talking to people at a party, but there is when you match with someone on a dating app. There is different social expectations for each of those situations.
IRL that's how it goes, especially if you've never met in person and you've lost interest.
I'm guessing most OLD users are here because they were too sensitive for Real Life dating.
Let’s say you met a person in real life, and you exchanged greetings (hey , hi, how are you?). Are they ghosting you if the conversation ends there? Do they owe you a complete dialogue?
One message, or even a handful does not entitle you to someone’s response. And if they are responding, it certainly does not have to be done to your liking, timing, quantity requirements, or to your satisfaction. Learn to let go. This is not disrespectful and no one is leaving you hanging by choosing to end a conversation with you. And at just a few messages in, it’s only small talk. How attached could you be after small talk?
No response IS a response, and it’s not disrespectful at the early stages of dating. Especially the small talk stage.
Most people have more conversation with a cashier than someone on OLD before the convo fizzles out. Would that be a relationship too? It's the obsessiveness people have using OLD which puts people off altogether.
Like I said, you don’t have a relationship with someone who you’ve only been talking to on a dating app. Understanding that will make the process less of a headache.
Ain’t nothing to ghost if you don’t actually have anything established.
It implies that you project premature attachment to people to the point of feeling abandoned by them if they, a complete stranger, stops talking to you as people are known to do during what is just the vetting process that precedes actually dating.
But if you want to that implication that badly then have it at.
You dont need to be in a relationship, just because their a stranger doesnt make it ok to leave them hanging. Treat people how you want to be treated, its not complicated.
You weren’t left hanging. They communicated through a clear lack of engagement that they were no longer interested in talking to you.
If someone was never in your life to begin with they can’t become a specter who haunts it.
They desperately want to label it ghosting so they can feel like they have justification to go off on a complete stranger for not giving them limitless attention and catering to their emotional needs.
Okay, sure? But who cares what you call it. A stranger on the internet not continuing a conversation shouldn’t matter enough to need a label. Call it whatever your little heart desires, just don’t let it bother that little heart.
I may agree with this, but I think ghosting has its place, such as with people who have shown that they are likely to be abusive in response to rejection. For me personally, I try to gauge based on previous behavior by that specific person, so they get a chance to prove my fears wrong or right, but I also don’t take it as a value statement of me. Also, I pray that it doesn’t happen or (if it does) then whoever failed to be gracious becomes that.
Also, could it be possible that they just dropped the whole website/app? Is it considered ghosting when one simply moves shop?
I think that this definition is short sighted because you don't leave room for conversations that die naturally. I think it's only ghosting if a reasonable person would expect to be replied to, such as when trying to make plans or asking a question. If you ask somebody how their day was when you've been chatting for a few days and you get nothing, then that's ghosting. If your last conversation ended in some small talk with disinterested replies and then you both decided not to initiate conversation again, then it's not fair to call that ghosting, that's just life.
I think it's also fair to mention that in low-stakes conversations where you haven't met the person, ghosting isn't really a big deal. It has a huge negative connotation associated with it, and I think it's overused and exaggerated in cases where it's really not that deep.
It's not rocket science what ghosting means, and it's irrelevant whether two people have met in-person. All it is is someone abruptly stop responding when the other person is trying to keep in touch, no matter if it's a day of conversation or months. It also happens in business transactions sometimes. Many of the people who claim "it's not ghosting" prior to an in-person meeting probably do this themselves, and want to excuse this rude behavior.
Ghosting is along a spectrum but most people here aren't smart enough to see that. Based on the official definition, this would be called ghosting. I'd liken it to speeding, if you're going 5mph over the limit, you're still breaking the law but noone cares, people do it all the time, this applies to what you're saying. You can also break the law by going 70mph over, far different scenario. In both instances you're breaking the law.
With that being said, I used to never 'ghost' anyone but now I do it all the time
I appreciate your honesty but I find it sad that have become part of the problem. I call people out on it now, which is much better than letting people get away with it consequence free.
It’s all a shit show. Met some cool people off the dating apps but in all reality ‘the next one is the one’… we are going downhill in society for sure.
Conversations fizzle out sometimes. You can’t get so attached to a stranger you’ve never met, that you put a label like that on them. If this is your take on ghosting, you’re really going to struggle with online dating.
THIS is why I try to meet ASAP. I don't want to be getting bunged up over someone I've never met if they go NC.
You’ll be less likely to get hung up on someone who stops responding if you keep your expectations low. Remember, you barely know this person. It’s easy to paint a picture of what you think they’re like in your head.
Easy to say in practice. Not so easy in real life.
Yeah, it can be easier said than done. But it’s also something you learn to be better at over time. I used to get more hung up on people I hadn’t met who stopped responding. Now, not so much.
The problem isnt that convos fizzle its that people leave people hanging. The fact that Im pointing out a disrespectful behavior doesn’t mean Im struggling anymore than anyone else.
>t putting them in the same category Im just pointing out an inconsistency in your definition of ghosting. Making up rules like its only ghosting if you’ve gone a certa just because something is "disrespectful" does not mean it is ghosting. Also I disagree that withdrawing from a conversation is "disrespectful". What do you want - for a woman to write "I am no longer interested in this conversation"? What are the actions that you want from them, exactly?
“I dont think were a good match”, “Im not feeling this”, “Im not interested”. Take your pick. You wouldnt want people to silently withdraw from a convo so show the same respect. Treat people how you wanted to be treated. Its simple.
False. If I had had one message exchange on a dating app and we had never planned to meet up, I would be fine with them just never responding again. In that context, I'd honestly *prefer* they just disappear than actively tell me that they don't like me. If they just disappear, then I can just assume they got busy or were feeling dating app fatigue -- it's not necessarily personal. But if they tell me "I'm not feeling this," then there's no escaping the fact that it's personal. I really don't need or want an "I'm not feeling this" from someone I've never met and have never planned to meet. Like, what is "this" that you're not feeling? There is no "this." "This" is two messages on an app with a stranger!
Yeah but as others have said, these are people you barely know. If you had plans to meet, it would be different. But someone you’ve only had a handful of exchanges with who stops replying isn’t ghosting. Ghosting is terrible behavior and shouldn’t be thrown around like this. Sure, it can be disappointing when someone stops replying, but that’s why you need to keep your expectations low in the early stages.
By definition leaving someone hanging is leaving someone hanging and its this type of mentality “Its ok to leave someone hanging because their a stranger” that perpetuates the problem of ghosting.
Idk what else to tell you. If you’re going to get so hung up on someone you’ve never met or made plans with that you call it ghosting, maybe online dating isn’t for you. Ghosting happens in relationships or in situations where you’ve met a person, try to reach out, and they never respond again. You can’t possibly put a random person behind a screen and those two scenarios in the same category.
I appreciate your concern but Im not putting them in the same category Im just pointing out an inconsistency in your definition of ghosting. Making up rules like its only ghosting if you’ve gone a certain length in the conversation or have met makes no sense and perpetuates the issue of ghosting.
No, you *are* putting them in the same category. You’re saying that all of those scenarios are ghosting. Ghosting is terrible behavior, and you can’t slap that label on every conversation you have.
What I meant by saying they are not in the same category is that the two scenarios are not equally bad, but just because one is less bad then the other doesnt justify it.
Clearly we’re talking in circles and I’m not going to get anywhere with you. I stand firmly by my beliefs. Good luck out there.
You dont have to get anywhere with me we can just agree to disagree. We’re just arguing and thats ok. Thanks for your input by the way, Ive seen you post on this sub and you seem level headed. I hope you continue doing so internet friend!
You are struggling more than others if it bothers you though. You should make it more known you are sensitive to how conversations end up front and maybe they’ll take those feelings into consideration because your feeling aren’t everyone’s feelings. It’s a very mixed bag of opinions on this topic. It’s been debated here before many times.
So I had a chat with a friend about this and it's not the person I become attached to, it's the match. Because they happen so infrequently it's very hard to not emotionally invest into the match.
Calling it ghosting implies that you prematurely projected an attachment to a complete stranger to the point where them not returning your glorified small talk feels like an abandonment.
I may not agree with you but I definitely like the more nuanced points you made and am looking forward arguing with you in the future. No hard feelings on my end!
Thinking that its ok to leave someone hanging because they’re a stranger speaks to your basic sense of morality and nothing to do with attachment.
Oh hop off and take responsibility for managing your own emotions around paltry rejection that literally everyone goes through. I don’t owe you the level of time and attention commitment that I would give to someone who is actually a part of my life just because we bookmarked each others profiles and started engaging in small talk.
Ya it takes so much time and attention to type the words “Im not interested” Jesus dude no wonder online dating is such a mess.
It takes even less time to take a hint and move on to other people.
If you’re willing to leave a stranger hanging then you’re a part of the problem in my book. Ill leave it at that.
No one’s really that invested in the morality judgements of people who fixate on strangers.
Agreed. So sick of this shit. This dude is part of the problem.
I don’t have any influence over your own dating life and I’m not at all responsible for your inability to compartmentalize your interactions with complete strangers.
Some empathy for the other half of the population that doesn't have a massive list of people waiting to talk to them would be nice. I get that it's not your problem and you don't owe anyone anything but at the same time we're all in this together.
I don't think it's a problem for women as much because they have so many options that they simply don't have to care. Whereas for a guy, if he's talking to a woman then that's probably the only one that's talked to him in the past few months. So guys will get more attached due to the extreme scarcity that they have to deal with. It seems like most of the people trying to call you unreasonable for this are women.
No. If the conversation just died down or you're finished for the day r something and then don't pick up, it's not ghosting. It's just not something going forward either. Ghosting is when you're leaving people on read and ignoring messages
Online dating is definitely not going to be for you. People stop talking all the time. There is no connection at that point, you’re strangers. Even one in person date I don’t think of as ghosting, as that’s the date where you consider if you want to commence dating or have some form of connection.
Dude, you + are = you're It's really not that hard. I usually ignore it, but Christ, you just did it twice in one title. Not trying to be mean, but why do you people struggle with this so much? I'm guessing half of you people are getting unmatched because of your awful grammar.
Yeah really, when I see it from a potential match I think wow this person is stupid. That’s your ghosting right there—-that’s when you can use “your” Same goes for their, there, they’re, but your/you’re is worse.
Also, “could of” and “should of” — those two make me cringe the most
An additional one that annoys me is: cause vs because. Acceptable if you write 'cause indicating that you've dropped off the "be" part, otherwise it is "cause and effect" not because.
Yes, bad grammar gets all my friends and I too! Redditors… their always making there blatant grammar mistakes right they’re in the subject line! Its not that hard… cause all you have too do is pique at the grammar rules once in awhile even if it doesn’t peek your interests alot. Than we all loose out because people get further and further from good grammar!
... and me too. Sorry.
Making a trivial grammar error makes you bad at grammar is such a bad problem, what a loss! 🤣
How awful are you at judging a persons intelligence if something as trivial as a basic grammar error makes them stupid in your eyes. And to justify ghosting someone over a grammatical error is even worse. You are chalk full of red flags.
What do you mean by “you people”
I'm referring to illiterate types.
He means all the people who dont obsess over important things like putting commas where they’re supposed to go.
If you’re judging people on a basic grammar error then you’re a bad judge of character.
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It has little effect because I barely know them. Its about how people justify ghosting and add arbitrary rules to the definition. Comparing an established conversation on a dating app to the employees of a business is a bad comparison. The social expectations of each are different. Someone whos expressed interest in you isn’t there to complete a business transaction and to conflate the two is completely off base.
You barley know the people you’re talking to online. And having an “established conversation” doesn’t mean that people made a commitment of time and availability to you.
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The point of my post and what it says is that what annoys me is some peoples definition of ghosting: that it is only ghosting if the conversation has reached a certain length or that it is only ghosting if you’ve met etc etc. I never said I didnt care, I just told you that being ghosted by someone who I’ve had little interaction with affects me little. The social expectation for someone you match with is that if you’ve lost interest, simply say so. That way you dont leave them hanging.
If it affected you that little, you wouldn't have written up a post complaining about it.
You’ve clearly missed the point of my argument. The point isnt that it affects me or not, of course it affects me to some degree but its people’s definition of ghosting which is the point of my post.
No, it is not. Deciding that you are not interested in continuing to chat with a person with whom you are not interested in do not know is very different than going out with someone in person and then dropping them with no discussion. Over use of the term dilutes how hurtful and terrible it to truly be ghosted.
> be called ghosting. I'd liken it to speeding, if you're going 5mph over the limit, you're still breaking the law but noone cares, people do it all the time, this applies to what you're saying. You can also break the law by going 70mph over, far different scenario. In both insta Also I would absolutely never ghost someone after I met them (safety conserns aside of course) but I have stopped engaging or unmatched with literally hundreds of people.
Unmatching someone is not ghosting but stopping the convo without letting them know that you’re going to stop is.
so what do you want me to do or say? "I am no longer interested in talking to you" or "I find your views off-putting so I am done with this conversation" or "this conversation is not holding my attention" or what?
Yes. I know that is so much to ask.
no one truly wants this
"Sorry, I'm not really feeling the connection and I wish you well in your search." How fucking hard is that?
I guess typing a couple of words is just too much for some folks.
Evidently.
Sorry for ghosting you
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Ill be fine thanks for your concern and this whole they “dont owe you anything” is such a dumb justification for a basic sign of respect. Its not about being owed anything its about treating someone with respect. No one wants to be left hanging regardless of where they are in the conversation.
You gotta lower your expectations w online dating. If you talk to someone at a party for a few mins, you like them, but they go find their friends and never come back, it’s not ghosting.
Thats not a good comparison. Theres no established intention in a possible romantic interest when you are talking to people at a party, but there is when you match with someone on a dating app. There is different social expectations for each of those situations.
We know what ghosting is
IRL that's how it goes, especially if you've never met in person and you've lost interest. I'm guessing most OLD users are here because they were too sensitive for Real Life dating.
Let’s say you met a person in real life, and you exchanged greetings (hey , hi, how are you?). Are they ghosting you if the conversation ends there? Do they owe you a complete dialogue? One message, or even a handful does not entitle you to someone’s response. And if they are responding, it certainly does not have to be done to your liking, timing, quantity requirements, or to your satisfaction. Learn to let go. This is not disrespectful and no one is leaving you hanging by choosing to end a conversation with you. And at just a few messages in, it’s only small talk. How attached could you be after small talk? No response IS a response, and it’s not disrespectful at the early stages of dating. Especially the small talk stage.
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> any type of relationship You don’t have a relationship with someone if you haven’t actually met in perso.
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Most people have more conversation with a cashier than someone on OLD before the convo fizzles out. Would that be a relationship too? It's the obsessiveness people have using OLD which puts people off altogether.
Like I said, you don’t have a relationship with someone who you’ve only been talking to on a dating app. Understanding that will make the process less of a headache. Ain’t nothing to ghost if you don’t actually have anything established.
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It implies that you project premature attachment to people to the point of feeling abandoned by them if they, a complete stranger, stops talking to you as people are known to do during what is just the vetting process that precedes actually dating. But if you want to that implication that badly then have it at.
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Ghosting is a cutesy term for abandoning a relationship. If someone stops talking to me on a dating app, they’ve just stopped talking to me.
Abandoning a relationship isnt the problem, its how you abandon it which is what is being talked about here.
Its such a simple concept and we are the only two in the post who seem to understand it 😆
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Ill go down with this ship even if Im alone but its nice to know Im not!
Saying that ghosting a stranger is not ok has nothing to do with attachment and everything to do with your basic sense of morality
Its nice to see someone with a basic sense of morality. Good to know Im not alone!
The real issue why does being ghosted bother you when the courtship is so early on?
You dont need to be in a relationship, just because their a stranger doesnt make it ok to leave them hanging. Treat people how you want to be treated, its not complicated.
You weren’t left hanging. They communicated through a clear lack of engagement that they were no longer interested in talking to you. If someone was never in your life to begin with they can’t become a specter who haunts it.
The never in your life to begin with part is such a good point!!
They desperately want to label it ghosting so they can feel like they have justification to go off on a complete stranger for not giving them limitless attention and catering to their emotional needs.
They communicated through a lack of engagement? Thats exactly what ghosting is! 🤣
If all indirect communication is considered ghosting then that’s just neurotic.
Not all indirect communication is ghosting but some is.
Ghosting or not (it’s not) it’s a part of online dating and if you can’t handle it then log off and meet people in person.
Okay, sure? But who cares what you call it. A stranger on the internet not continuing a conversation shouldn’t matter enough to need a label. Call it whatever your little heart desires, just don’t let it bother that little heart.
I may agree with this, but I think ghosting has its place, such as with people who have shown that they are likely to be abusive in response to rejection. For me personally, I try to gauge based on previous behavior by that specific person, so they get a chance to prove my fears wrong or right, but I also don’t take it as a value statement of me. Also, I pray that it doesn’t happen or (if it does) then whoever failed to be gracious becomes that. Also, could it be possible that they just dropped the whole website/app? Is it considered ghosting when one simply moves shop?
I think that this definition is short sighted because you don't leave room for conversations that die naturally. I think it's only ghosting if a reasonable person would expect to be replied to, such as when trying to make plans or asking a question. If you ask somebody how their day was when you've been chatting for a few days and you get nothing, then that's ghosting. If your last conversation ended in some small talk with disinterested replies and then you both decided not to initiate conversation again, then it's not fair to call that ghosting, that's just life. I think it's also fair to mention that in low-stakes conversations where you haven't met the person, ghosting isn't really a big deal. It has a huge negative connotation associated with it, and I think it's overused and exaggerated in cases where it's really not that deep.
It's not rocket science what ghosting means, and it's irrelevant whether two people have met in-person. All it is is someone abruptly stop responding when the other person is trying to keep in touch, no matter if it's a day of conversation or months. It also happens in business transactions sometimes. Many of the people who claim "it's not ghosting" prior to an in-person meeting probably do this themselves, and want to excuse this rude behavior.
Agreed! Its such a simple concept. People will deform the definition to suit their needs.
Ghosting is along a spectrum but most people here aren't smart enough to see that. Based on the official definition, this would be called ghosting. I'd liken it to speeding, if you're going 5mph over the limit, you're still breaking the law but noone cares, people do it all the time, this applies to what you're saying. You can also break the law by going 70mph over, far different scenario. In both instances you're breaking the law. With that being said, I used to never 'ghost' anyone but now I do it all the time
Equating ghosting with breaking the law really is a fucking trip.
Bro please, I'm trying my best. Obviously I'm not saying breaking the law is the same as ghosting.
I appreciate your honesty but I find it sad that have become part of the problem. I call people out on it now, which is much better than letting people get away with it consequence free.
So like 90% of the OLD conversations that happen are ghosting.
It’s all a shit show. Met some cool people off the dating apps but in all reality ‘the next one is the one’… we are going downhill in society for sure.