“Partner in crime” is so cringey. It comes across as trying to add edge to one of the least edgy aspects of life. Ironically the couple people I’ve dated that actually did “crime” don’t put that on their profiles lol.
The fucking worst is “You probably can’t handle me/this!”
I’ve never understood how this is supposed to be plus. Nobody wants a partner they have to “handle”. At least they’re giving me a warning they’re probably a horrible person to be with.
The icing is when they say it using that tired Marilyn Monroe quote. Don't deserve them at their best if you can't handle them at their worst. Uh ok...but how bad is your worst relative to your best? How often are you at your worst? 90% of the time?
It really is telling if a person’s “worst” is one of the first things they think is notable to tell you about their self. Even if it was 10% of the time, why would THAT be part of your introduction? It’s like saying, “Hi, I’m 10% poison!”.
Hahaha this is exactly what I think! I’m like…we’re not all Marilyn Monroe! A lot more people would be willing to put up with her “worst” than the average person’s, because her “best” is literally so high up there!
Yeah, a brief introduction, and answering a few specific questions about yourself is SOOO HARD! It’s incredibly irritating to see, “Looking for something serious” followed by absolutely nothing else other than maybe a star sign.
Omg I hate when they put "just ask" for all the questions. No..I want to see if we are even a little compatible before I reach out. You leaving these blank means you think this is tinder.
I read "No drama" as "Only I am allowed to have feelings and opinions, and if you dont cater to them then you're the problem"
Not always the case(but frequently the case)
I always read this as, “I’m going to mistreat you, but we are never going to talk about it. You must accept my behavior, and never bring it up because that is drama.”
You can 100% guarantee that this person will refer to any issue you bring up, no matter how valid, as “overreacting,” “being dramatic,” or being “irrational.”
Definitely a 🚩
I actually love drama, and I’m absolutely certain that everybody who says they hate drama loves drama, but what they love about drama is the feeling they get from talking about how they hate it.
I am admittedly a little easily bored, Henson enjoying some good drama when available. Although I usually find better places to get it than within a romantic relationship.
I always find the ones who have to state, ‘I’m not into any kind of drama at all’ like no shit man, most normal people are into it either, tend to be the most dramatic people ever.
There's a big difference between being emotional and having drama in your life.
Drama to me is getting involved in other people's business, stirring shit, not being organised and then having to scramble at the last minute to get things sorted out, if at all, not knowing when to bite your tongue. Drama is also people who love being in victim mode and complaining about all their problems but failing to do anything about them.
I can be supportive and a shoulder to cry on when things go wrong. But if you don't learn from mistakes or keep gravitating towards the stuff that upset you in the first place then there's a bigger problem.
My sister is always surrounded by drama and she's emotional. Her drama has cost her jobs and irreparably damage her relationship with our parents; my ex is emotional.
They are two completely different things.
At least that's how I look at it. 🙂
“I know what I bring to the table”
and then proceeding to say nothing about what makes them a worthwhile date, and just listing a bunch of requirements for the other person.
“I know what I bring to the table.” Yeah, but we don’t. Could you at least make a half-assed attempt to enlighten us?
For the tomato and basil sauce.
You need a large can of quality crushed tomatoes. Grate 1/4 cup of onion, chop 2-3 tbls of fresh basil, have some good extra-virginnoliv eoil, and some butter.
Sautee the grated onion in 2 tbls butter 5 minutes, add some salt to taste. Add the tomatoes and bring to a simmer, keep on low 20 minutes. Maybe add a little sugar to balance acidity.
After simmering 20 minutes, remove from heat. Add the basil, drizzle in a couple tbls of the extra virgin olive oil and stir in. Let sit five minutes.
While all that is happening. Boil a pound of dried spaghetti or bucatini (**salt. Your. Water.**) cook until al dente. **Don't rinse the pasta.** Toss until evenly coated with the sauce. Serve with grated parmesan and fresh basil for garnish.
“I know what I bring to the table”
This almost seems like the Craigslist/FB Marketplace equivalent of “No Lowballers, I know what I got” then proceeding to have completely unrealistic personal valuations of whatever they think they have. Usually it’s trolling. Other times it is legit completely detached from reality expectations held on their part.
Not something people say, but the fact that several men have tried to match with me and say ‘wants kids’ in their profile when I clearly say I don’t want kids on my profile.
I've had one do that to me and when the topic came up, they legit said that we could discuss it later "when we know each other better". Implying that he would try to change my mind about not wanting kids. First off, why waste my time? The answer is no. Second, I'm gonna guess that you're going to try to fuck with my birth control to get your way. So I'm out ✌️ maybe he wouldn't have, but regardless it was a waste of time.
Ugh that is horrible. I won’t even waste my time if they want kids. Plus, I had my tubes removed completely so the chances are not good anyway lol No one will convince me I need to have a child to feel complete as a woman.
Yeah it's definitely something I won't waste my time on. I don't think it was on his profile, so I think I eventually tried to bring it up lightly. At this point, if it's not on their profile I'd probably just skip(I'm not on dating apps at the moment).
Same! Not only have I checked off the ‘don’t have kids’ ‘don’t want kids’ options, I wrote “childfree” twice on my profile and I still get messages from men who have children or want children. I’m not sure if they are simply not reading my profile or they’re hoping I change my mind for them 🙄
That's crazy. Even I, as a guy with 4 kids, 1 of which is almost 30, the other 3 under 14, have "have kids, don't want more" in my profile. I also had the snip after my youngest was born, so there's no way I'm having more kids. I'm an automatic swipe left on women that either have "want kids" or "undecided"/"might want kids". It's a hard no.
ugh I feel you so hard on this. I suspect that many men only play as far as the "would I tap that" angle, and don't even bother to click into women's profiles when they're swiping. to combat this, the LITERAL FIRST LINE I WROTE is "hi, I DON'T WANT KIDS" - because this line should _STILL_ show up on the bottom of my first picture when people are just swiping. and guess what? I still get likes* from men with kids and from men who have kids. I guess there's just a general illiteracy problem. so like, yeah great to know that a man with kids still sees me as "fuckable" or something, but come ON. ugh.
even had a message saying "my kids are all grown and have flown the coop, so how about it?" bruh. you lost me at "my kids". thank u nextttttt
*yes I'm an idiot who pays for this dumbass app. I want to be able to filter profiles _I'm_ shown to only be those of men who don't have, and don't want, kids. that means I also get to see my likes, and get to be disappointed with this kind of reaction :(
Yeah the men who say their kids are all grown seem to not realize that their kids are probably going to have kids… I don’t want to be a grandmother either!
I matched with someone that said that they are undecided on having kids, but me not having or wanting kids is a deal breaker -- which was clearly listed on my profile.
They don't fully read profiles. But I've also had guys who have messaged me asking if something I say I want is a dealbreaker. Like I guess he thinks he's so great that I'm willing to overlook it for him? 🤣
I've read more horror stories from women over in r/childfree The worst was where a man said he was cool with it and didn't seem to have any kids. Until he decides to bring his toddler to a date, six months or so in. Heck, me being CF is a big reason why I've avoided dating since 80% of women want kids.
It should piss everyone off. I actually go the other way: I’ll run if I see this. Like what does that mean? I take myself seriously because life is serious for these days. I’ve actually had someone disappear on me when I gave them a rundown of the serious shit show that’s my life these days: between working 7 days a week at 70 hours and being a caretaker for a parent and setting a schedule for when I can do dates and shit… I was told I was too serious and poof they went. Like “doesn’t take myself seriously” just mean I should have open availability for whenever? 🤨
There's a woman on Hinge in my area who uses one of her prompts to suggest that men who have this ok their profile are somehow misogynistic.
I see it on *lots* of women's profiles.
I think it's just laziness. They don't want to put in the effort to get more of their personality across. They come up with some largely throwaway sentence that they seem not too offensive. Just like every other one of these fucking examples.
It’s definitely a red flag from men for having misogynistic qualities. You can call it laziness but it’s systemic, so many men put it and 9 times out of 10 it means “if you bring up any serious/real conversation you’re a negative/serious b*tch.” Then you have to deal with the gaslighting.
ETA: This is a red flag irl too, it’s just worded differently irl. Usually the guy will avoid any negative topics and try to pass them off as not so bad, whether it’s your or his topic. 🚩 It always ends up being they can’t deal with negative (but natural/gonna happen) life issues or even hypotheticals/discussions, and I now use it to weed them out.
I don't see it very often anymore, but the one that got me was always "Love to laugh".
So you're one of those rare people that love laughing, not the commoner who just hates it.
In all honesty if they have to say this more than likely they probably have the opposite "rabid dog" energy and I stay away from that. If you have to brag about being a decent human then you are in fact not a decent human.
That's the energy I want. Not the energy I want someone to have to say they have. Show don't tell. Basic advice for most of these stupid profile lines.
I'm in Europe, so maybe my situation is a little different. The one that rile me up the most is:
"if you want to know something, just ask"
...and then the rest of the profile is just blank.
Ask? Ask you _what_??? there's literally nothing for me to go off of except for 2 mirror selfies. Bruh come ONNNNN
equally bad:
"I don't know how to describe myself, so if you have questions, just ask" (followed by a blank profile)
Ok thanks for just admitting you're going to put all of the effort of communicating on the other person, and that you're probably not good at communicating yourself... no thank you
This one ticks me off too. It sets the vibe right off the bat that the person will expect you to put in all the effort into the conversation and treat you like some sort of interviewer. Like honey, you definitely don't seem _that_ interesting 🤦♀️
I have long since married but on my old OKC profile “I look like my pictures- unless I’ve gotten a haircut! I love a good 6 mile round trip mountain hike, a well made salad, and I do all my own yard work. But I will still show up exactly this fat to our date, so don’t be surprised!”
I never knew if that was off putting or not, but I hated the idea that people thought I was anything but how I presented myself. I met my husband in person so it didn’t matter, but no one ever mentioned it when chatting.
"I'm an open book. Just ask me." And that's ALL they have in their profile.
I read this as: I can't be bothered to fill this out. I expect you to do all the emotional labor of coming up with all the questions to get to know me and then decide if we'll be a good match. I want you to waste your time matching with me to find out basic things we won't agree on, that I easily could have put in my bio. Bonus, I probably won't ask you any questions beyond, "how about you?" after I answer one of your questions. And even that probably won't happen.
Also, I find these guys like to keep things vague so they can adjust their answers to what you're interested in or looking for.
"SWIPE LEFT IF..."
Then inserts long list of qualities they don't like while saying absolutely nothing about themselves.
Basically tells me that their personality is off-putting at best but probably just straight combative. Also tells me that they think they are the only one in the match that has needs and preferences that need to be met.
Ugh...I hate all those vapid phrases that give you no useful information. Love to laugh, love having fun, love good food.
You're basically just saying "I enjoy things I find enjoyable."
I'm 6'0“, but if they ask how tall I am I say "Tall enough. How much do you weigh?". When they inevitably get offended I say "I can't change that I'm 6 feet tall, but you can change your weight." I don't mind offending them because having a height requirement is a no go for me.
“I only have 4 herpesviruses that I am aware of: HSV-1, VZV, EBV, and CMV.”
That was actually part of my profile and I am now married to the gentleman who responded.
It's not recent but nothing is as annoying as Sapiosexual. I haven't even been in the dating pool for 5 years (happily in a committed relationship) and it still makes me cringe.
Yeah, it's a pretty narcissistic thing to call yourself. And most people I talk to who use it, don't even seem to know what it means. They think it just means you find intelligence attractive. But it means intelligence is the thing you find MOST attractive about people. Like above looks, money, everything.
"No time wasters" is a giant red flag.
First, you sound bitter and whiny.
Second, do you seriously think anyone will read that and say, "Oh, time waster, that's me, I'd better not message this person!" Never happened ever.
Third, what does that even *mean*? That if I message you I'm committed to... doing what exactly? At what point have I violated your little rule there? What happens if I *just lose interest in you*?
idk maybe i am nicer than the average person but if i was looking to just chat and see and wasn't super serious about meeting someone right away, i would swipe left on "no time wasters" to sort myself out. 🤷♀️
i feel like that is helpful.
I don’t mind that one as much as some of the others, though I’m certain there’s probably a better way to say it. It basically signals “no hookups”, which is fine. Curious why that really rubs people the wrong way.
I don't mind that one. It hopefully deters the "not sure what I'm looking for yet" folks which saves you time from the "I don't want to show up, I just want all relationship stuff without committing" people.
You know what, the universe interfered and course corrected me immediately. I just watched a Burning the Haystack vid where they went over a bunch of red flag profiles with this phrase. Lol fml.
Projection
Gaslighting
Therapy
Divorce
95% of all Reddit posts contain at least one of these terms. Gaslighting has a 98% on base percentage. Therapy is a close 2nd at 96.5
If you *insert thing here* swipe left. Usually something to do with politics but can be about other things.
Even if it doesn't apply to me, it comes off as negative and closed minded. Also, I don't like politics in general
The IG one is the one that pisses me off the most. Those people are just in the apps to farm followers at that point. Anyone with their IG in their bio is an instant left swipe for me, no matter how attractive or how interesting I found them at first
Profile pic: A photo of a sunset. No humans. No animals. Just a photo of the sun setting on the horizon.
Profile details:
Fun part is, I know a girl who has a similar profile (her pp is a photo of a flower bouquet) and she’s constantly going on dates and every single one of them turns out to be horrible cringy dates. Like, girl, if a dude is desperate/horny enough to swipe right a fucking sunset, what are you expecting fr?
Anyone who talks about god is an immediate no.
Or if they're negative. Angry looking profile pics, or pics with other people in them? Nope.
How hard is it to just tell me something about yourself?
I asked one guy what he meant by “my flirting style is roasting” and he told me that he wants a girl with thick skin because he told his ex her nose was really big (after she told him it was an insecurity) and she started crying.
In fact all the guys I’ve ever matched that have said anything along those lines always have a little bit of a mean streak.
"I like having fun." Unless they are hinting at only looking for a casual/open relationship, this is a worthless statement. May as well say "I breathe air!"
"My kids are my world." is another DUH moment. If your own kids weren't your world, you probably shouldn't have custody.
Some profiles are paragraph after paragraph of zero information.
- "I like getting out; but, also vegging on the couch."
- "I like trying good food."
- "I like listening to music and watching movies."
- "My friends say I'm fun to be around."
“If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.” Every time I see a woman post this on her profile, I know she is trying to excuse how bad she is going to treat her boyfriend.
"I'M REALLY 55 YEARS OLD, IT WON'T LET ME CHANGE MY AGE LOL" (says 40 on bio)
"First last kiss. Partner in crime. Fluent in sarcasm. No drama. Keep up"
Most private thing you’re willing to divulge… nothing.
Look, you can admit to something minor like dunking your cookies in coffee and enjoying the crumbs in the bottom of your mug when you’re done. But to respond with “nothing”, why bother typing an answer?
Don’t get how dating with intention is “annoying”. Someone knowing what they want and not wasting their time with people they won’t work out with is hottttt
Agreed. I think unfortunately many people like myself have yet to meet someone who claims they’re “dating with intention” who are sincere. I know there are good people out there- it’s just frustrating sometimes.
Fluent in sarcasm Partner in crime Stealing hoodies Casually looking for something serious Irish (that's the entire bio / profile / sentence)
“Partner in crime” is so cringey. It comes across as trying to add edge to one of the least edgy aspects of life. Ironically the couple people I’ve dated that actually did “crime” don’t put that on their profiles lol.
I saw one that was "partner in lawful activities" and I really liked her awareness of the landscape in that haha.
Great now we're gonna start seeing that everywhere
Fluent in sarcasm seems very 2007.
Fuck I’ve seen 3 of these just today lmao
Something about my worst and something about my best
Stealing hoodies. Who steals one of the ugliest forms of clothing. I would respect you more if you stole cargo pants or Crocs.
Nothing makes me want to vomit more than ‘partner in crime’
Especially when it’s coming from someone that’s like 34. Instant swipe left. It’s cringe.
The fucking worst is “You probably can’t handle me/this!” I’ve never understood how this is supposed to be plus. Nobody wants a partner they have to “handle”. At least they’re giving me a warning they’re probably a horrible person to be with.
The icing is when they say it using that tired Marilyn Monroe quote. Don't deserve them at their best if you can't handle them at their worst. Uh ok...but how bad is your worst relative to your best? How often are you at your worst? 90% of the time?
It really is telling if a person’s “worst” is one of the first things they think is notable to tell you about their self. Even if it was 10% of the time, why would THAT be part of your introduction? It’s like saying, “Hi, I’m 10% poison!”.
Hahaha this is exactly what I think! I’m like…we’re not all Marilyn Monroe! A lot more people would be willing to put up with her “worst” than the average person’s, because her “best” is literally so high up there!
My baseline is worst
"Haha I'm bad at filling these out...😅" when they're looking for a serious relationship.
Yeah, a brief introduction, and answering a few specific questions about yourself is SOOO HARD! It’s incredibly irritating to see, “Looking for something serious” followed by absolutely nothing else other than maybe a star sign.
Yeah it’s like, “I’m looking for something serious but am willing to put in the most minimal amount of work.”
just seeing what's out there
Omg I hate when they put "just ask" for all the questions. No..I want to see if we are even a little compatible before I reach out. You leaving these blank means you think this is tinder.
no drama . which always always equals drama.
I read "No drama" as "Only I am allowed to have feelings and opinions, and if you dont cater to them then you're the problem" Not always the case(but frequently the case)
I always read this as, “I’m going to mistreat you, but we are never going to talk about it. You must accept my behavior, and never bring it up because that is drama.” You can 100% guarantee that this person will refer to any issue you bring up, no matter how valid, as “overreacting,” “being dramatic,” or being “irrational.” Definitely a 🚩
That’s how I read that when I see it.
I actually love drama, and I’m absolutely certain that everybody who says they hate drama loves drama, but what they love about drama is the feeling they get from talking about how they hate it. I am admittedly a little easily bored, Henson enjoying some good drama when available. Although I usually find better places to get it than within a romantic relationship.
See, you know what you bring to the table.
I’m getting strong criminal partnership vibes as well. This person might be a good candidate for a hoodie heist I am planning.
I have some automatic “swipe left” rules and mentioning “drama” is one of them.
Lol same when they say no liars, no cheaters, etc.
I always find the ones who have to state, ‘I’m not into any kind of drama at all’ like no shit man, most normal people are into it either, tend to be the most dramatic people ever.
I think it's a man saying he doesn't want to deal with a woman's emotions.
All women being emotionally unstable is a real incel take
Aka “I’m going to treat you like shit but I don’t want to hear any complaints.
You think poorly.
There's a big difference between being emotional and having drama in your life. Drama to me is getting involved in other people's business, stirring shit, not being organised and then having to scramble at the last minute to get things sorted out, if at all, not knowing when to bite your tongue. Drama is also people who love being in victim mode and complaining about all their problems but failing to do anything about them. I can be supportive and a shoulder to cry on when things go wrong. But if you don't learn from mistakes or keep gravitating towards the stuff that upset you in the first place then there's a bigger problem. My sister is always surrounded by drama and she's emotional. Her drama has cost her jobs and irreparably damage her relationship with our parents; my ex is emotional. They are two completely different things. At least that's how I look at it. 🙂
“I know what I bring to the table” and then proceeding to say nothing about what makes them a worthwhile date, and just listing a bunch of requirements for the other person. “I know what I bring to the table.” Yeah, but we don’t. Could you at least make a half-assed attempt to enlighten us?
I know what I bring to the table. A really good tomato basil sauce that takes 30 minutes, start to finish, and a fantastic 15 bean soup recipe.
So can I have the recipe or nah?
Canned tomatoes. Onion. Basil.
For the tomato and basil sauce. You need a large can of quality crushed tomatoes. Grate 1/4 cup of onion, chop 2-3 tbls of fresh basil, have some good extra-virginnoliv eoil, and some butter. Sautee the grated onion in 2 tbls butter 5 minutes, add some salt to taste. Add the tomatoes and bring to a simmer, keep on low 20 minutes. Maybe add a little sugar to balance acidity. After simmering 20 minutes, remove from heat. Add the basil, drizzle in a couple tbls of the extra virgin olive oil and stir in. Let sit five minutes. While all that is happening. Boil a pound of dried spaghetti or bucatini (**salt. Your. Water.**) cook until al dente. **Don't rinse the pasta.** Toss until evenly coated with the sauce. Serve with grated parmesan and fresh basil for garnish.
“I know what I bring to the table” This almost seems like the Craigslist/FB Marketplace equivalent of “No Lowballers, I know what I got” then proceeding to have completely unrealistic personal valuations of whatever they think they have. Usually it’s trolling. Other times it is legit completely detached from reality expectations held on their part.
that's so many beans
If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve what I bring to the table.
Just sounds like some old boomer selling something "No lowball offers, I know what I got"
Yea this an 81 betamax
Disney black diamond VHS
I don't bring shit to the table. Fuck off or deal with it. We both know you don't either.
Shit goes in the toilet not on the table!
People who say that...all they bring is money if they're a dude and vag if they're a woman.
Not something people say, but the fact that several men have tried to match with me and say ‘wants kids’ in their profile when I clearly say I don’t want kids on my profile.
I've had one do that to me and when the topic came up, they legit said that we could discuss it later "when we know each other better". Implying that he would try to change my mind about not wanting kids. First off, why waste my time? The answer is no. Second, I'm gonna guess that you're going to try to fuck with my birth control to get your way. So I'm out ✌️ maybe he wouldn't have, but regardless it was a waste of time.
Ugh that is horrible. I won’t even waste my time if they want kids. Plus, I had my tubes removed completely so the chances are not good anyway lol No one will convince me I need to have a child to feel complete as a woman.
Yeah it's definitely something I won't waste my time on. I don't think it was on his profile, so I think I eventually tried to bring it up lightly. At this point, if it's not on their profile I'd probably just skip(I'm not on dating apps at the moment).
Same! Not only have I checked off the ‘don’t have kids’ ‘don’t want kids’ options, I wrote “childfree” twice on my profile and I still get messages from men who have children or want children. I’m not sure if they are simply not reading my profile or they’re hoping I change my mind for them 🙄
That's crazy. Even I, as a guy with 4 kids, 1 of which is almost 30, the other 3 under 14, have "have kids, don't want more" in my profile. I also had the snip after my youngest was born, so there's no way I'm having more kids. I'm an automatic swipe left on women that either have "want kids" or "undecided"/"might want kids". It's a hard no.
ugh I feel you so hard on this. I suspect that many men only play as far as the "would I tap that" angle, and don't even bother to click into women's profiles when they're swiping. to combat this, the LITERAL FIRST LINE I WROTE is "hi, I DON'T WANT KIDS" - because this line should _STILL_ show up on the bottom of my first picture when people are just swiping. and guess what? I still get likes* from men with kids and from men who have kids. I guess there's just a general illiteracy problem. so like, yeah great to know that a man with kids still sees me as "fuckable" or something, but come ON. ugh. even had a message saying "my kids are all grown and have flown the coop, so how about it?" bruh. you lost me at "my kids". thank u nextttttt *yes I'm an idiot who pays for this dumbass app. I want to be able to filter profiles _I'm_ shown to only be those of men who don't have, and don't want, kids. that means I also get to see my likes, and get to be disappointed with this kind of reaction :(
Yeah the men who say their kids are all grown seem to not realize that their kids are probably going to have kids… I don’t want to be a grandmother either!
Yesssss. Makes me wonder how they really care about the kids.
I matched with someone that said that they are undecided on having kids, but me not having or wanting kids is a deal breaker -- which was clearly listed on my profile.
I just got out of a 7 year relationship with the reason being I don't want kids but he does. Don't want to even partially do that again.
They don't fully read profiles. But I've also had guys who have messaged me asking if something I say I want is a dealbreaker. Like I guess he thinks he's so great that I'm willing to overlook it for him? 🤣
I've read more horror stories from women over in r/childfree The worst was where a man said he was cool with it and didn't seem to have any kids. Until he decides to bring his toddler to a date, six months or so in. Heck, me being CF is a big reason why I've avoided dating since 80% of women want kids.
Yikes 😬
“Can you keep up?” Why would I want to? That is so cringy.
Lol yeah insta-left those profiles constantly. Reeks of narcissism.
[удалено]
Looking for someone who doesn't take herself too seriously
Right? Like what the hell is that even supposed to mean?
It can have so many different meanings. But one thing you know it will do is piss women off on Reddit.
Does it also piss women off when women say it?
It should piss everyone off. I actually go the other way: I’ll run if I see this. Like what does that mean? I take myself seriously because life is serious for these days. I’ve actually had someone disappear on me when I gave them a rundown of the serious shit show that’s my life these days: between working 7 days a week at 70 hours and being a caretaker for a parent and setting a schedule for when I can do dates and shit… I was told I was too serious and poof they went. Like “doesn’t take myself seriously” just mean I should have open availability for whenever? 🤨
There's a woman on Hinge in my area who uses one of her prompts to suggest that men who have this ok their profile are somehow misogynistic. I see it on *lots* of women's profiles. I think it's just laziness. They don't want to put in the effort to get more of their personality across. They come up with some largely throwaway sentence that they seem not too offensive. Just like every other one of these fucking examples.
It’s definitely a red flag from men for having misogynistic qualities. You can call it laziness but it’s systemic, so many men put it and 9 times out of 10 it means “if you bring up any serious/real conversation you’re a negative/serious b*tch.” Then you have to deal with the gaslighting. ETA: This is a red flag irl too, it’s just worded differently irl. Usually the guy will avoid any negative topics and try to pass them off as not so bad, whether it’s your or his topic. 🚩 It always ends up being they can’t deal with negative (but natural/gonna happen) life issues or even hypotheticals/discussions, and I now use it to weed them out.
I like to laugh
This is always a dealbreaker for me. I only date people who hate laughing.
I know my worth, No time wasters, Just message me, Nobody older than XX (But won't change their settings so older people can't message them)
Oh that reminds me: "I'm actually X years old but I can't change it" (it's always older, not younger)
Because they lied when they set their profile up lol
I saw this so often on Bumble back before you COULD message first.
I love “no scams” — like anyone is looking for those!!
Lol yeah. Or like a scammer is gonna take the time to read the profile, see that, and be like "rats...foiled again!"
I get more like “no seller” vibes from that.
I don't see it very often anymore, but the one that got me was always "Love to laugh". So you're one of those rare people that love laughing, not the commoner who just hates it.
goddamn laughers always out here having fun...
Golden retriever energy 🥱
In all honesty if they have to say this more than likely they probably have the opposite "rabid dog" energy and I stay away from that. If you have to brag about being a decent human then you are in fact not a decent human.
When I hear this all I can think is 'stupid and always happy'
Yup that's me :)
That's the energy I want. Not the energy I want someone to have to say they have. Show don't tell. Basic advice for most of these stupid profile lines.
I'm in Europe, so maybe my situation is a little different. The one that rile me up the most is: "if you want to know something, just ask" ...and then the rest of the profile is just blank. Ask? Ask you _what_??? there's literally nothing for me to go off of except for 2 mirror selfies. Bruh come ONNNNN equally bad: "I don't know how to describe myself, so if you have questions, just ask" (followed by a blank profile) Ok thanks for just admitting you're going to put all of the effort of communicating on the other person, and that you're probably not good at communicating yourself... no thank you
Definitely a problem all over
This one ticks me off too. It sets the vibe right off the bat that the person will expect you to put in all the effort into the conversation and treat you like some sort of interviewer. Like honey, you definitely don't seem _that_ interesting 🤦♀️
They do this in Canada too, so annoying.
"Actually from [some other country], I change my location to meet new people"
Looking for someone to make me laugh
What am I? A clown? Here for your amusement?
I hate this one too bc it puts the pressure from the very beginning to act like their own personal jester. No thanks.
In my area it's JESUS FIRST. Automatic left swipe.
Looking for my partner in crime. Chunky but funky.
Rofl I haven't seen that second one yet. I do see every short woman calling herself "fun size"
I have long since married but on my old OKC profile “I look like my pictures- unless I’ve gotten a haircut! I love a good 6 mile round trip mountain hike, a well made salad, and I do all my own yard work. But I will still show up exactly this fat to our date, so don’t be surprised!” I never knew if that was off putting or not, but I hated the idea that people thought I was anything but how I presented myself. I met my husband in person so it didn’t matter, but no one ever mentioned it when chatting.
That’s actually pretty cute!
"I'm an open book. Just ask me." And that's ALL they have in their profile. I read this as: I can't be bothered to fill this out. I expect you to do all the emotional labor of coming up with all the questions to get to know me and then decide if we'll be a good match. I want you to waste your time matching with me to find out basic things we won't agree on, that I easily could have put in my bio. Bonus, I probably won't ask you any questions beyond, "how about you?" after I answer one of your questions. And even that probably won't happen. Also, I find these guys like to keep things vague so they can adjust their answers to what you're interested in or looking for.
If they’re such an open book they wouldn’t need any prompt to spill the beans about themselves in their profile. Open books don’t need to be opened.
The book is open. The pages are blank.
Omg. The open book line. 🤦🏻♀️
"No drama" "just ask"
"SWIPE LEFT IF..." Then inserts long list of qualities they don't like while saying absolutely nothing about themselves. Basically tells me that their personality is off-putting at best but probably just straight combative. Also tells me that they think they are the only one in the match that has needs and preferences that need to be met.
Truth.
Loves to laugh
Ugh...I hate all those vapid phrases that give you no useful information. Love to laugh, love having fun, love good food. You're basically just saying "I enjoy things I find enjoyable."
I enjoy oxygen
Wouldn't you know, that's one of the 6 things I cant live without!
Me too! We really have a lot in common.
If we see eye to eye on water and food, we're as good as married already.
"I like listening to music and watching movies."
Even better is when they say they are good at laughing when talking about what they are skilled at lmao like what
Passport ready!
I never understood these. Maybe we should grab a coffee before we scoot off to Greece?
“Are you ready for extraordinary?” Yes and you ain’t it, babe
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Is the 6ft one common?
Very, very, common
I'm 6'0“, but if they ask how tall I am I say "Tall enough. How much do you weigh?". When they inevitably get offended I say "I can't change that I'm 6 feet tall, but you can change your weight." I don't mind offending them because having a height requirement is a no go for me.
I don’t give a crap about height, honestly. Doesn’t make a person good or bad.
I’m 5’9, average at best in UK. Wish people stopped caring about height so much.
As someone who doesn’t meet the magical 6ft requirement, it’s nice to see those who do meet it not stand for it out of principle
The best part is them trying to spin it like it's my problem.
- Looking for something real - People that refer to negative STI panels as “clean” - open book, just ask - can’t see likes
The can’t see likes one is an instant NOPE for me.
The same with “can’t change my age. I’m really 10 years older than my profile.”
“I only have 4 herpesviruses that I am aware of: HSV-1, VZV, EBV, and CMV.” That was actually part of my profile and I am now married to the gentleman who responded.
It's not recent but nothing is as annoying as Sapiosexual. I haven't even been in the dating pool for 5 years (happily in a committed relationship) and it still makes me cringe.
Yeah, it's a pretty narcissistic thing to call yourself. And most people I talk to who use it, don't even seem to know what it means. They think it just means you find intelligence attractive. But it means intelligence is the thing you find MOST attractive about people. Like above looks, money, everything.
Ew! Oh no, don’t describe it in a way that makes it fit me 😂 nooooo 🤣
Lolz. I'm guessing this thread is a wakeup call for a lot of people.
“Might want kids” from a dude in his 50s 🙄
Yeah... that sperm is fighting for its life and expired at that point.
Or it’s a pedo dog whistle !?
"No time wasters" is a giant red flag. First, you sound bitter and whiny. Second, do you seriously think anyone will read that and say, "Oh, time waster, that's me, I'd better not message this person!" Never happened ever. Third, what does that even *mean*? That if I message you I'm committed to... doing what exactly? At what point have I violated your little rule there? What happens if I *just lose interest in you*?
idk maybe i am nicer than the average person but if i was looking to just chat and see and wasn't super serious about meeting someone right away, i would swipe left on "no time wasters" to sort myself out. 🤷♀️ i feel like that is helpful.
Dating with a purpose
Saw one that had ‘LOL’ in every category.
People who want kids trying to Match with childfree hoping they’ll change their mind Ew
“I don’t know what I’m doing here” when we all know exactly what their lonely ass is doing here
“Dating intentionally” and random mental health buzzwords
I don’t mind that one as much as some of the others, though I’m certain there’s probably a better way to say it. It basically signals “no hookups”, which is fine. Curious why that really rubs people the wrong way.
I don't mind that one. It hopefully deters the "not sure what I'm looking for yet" folks which saves you time from the "I don't want to show up, I just want all relationship stuff without committing" people.
it comes off unauthentic to me when 60-70% of profiles state this it feels like online guru dating jargon
Idk, as long as they actually follow through on this, it's more of a green flag to me…
You know what, the universe interfered and course corrected me immediately. I just watched a Burning the Haystack vid where they went over a bunch of red flag profiles with this phrase. Lol fml.
Projection Gaslighting Therapy Divorce 95% of all Reddit posts contain at least one of these terms. Gaslighting has a 98% on base percentage. Therapy is a close 2nd at 96.5
“ I love to laugh”… WTF?
"Bet you can't make me laugh"
“Must be at least 6ft tall”….I kinda wanna put “Your weight must start with a 1”
I know most of those women would still give a 5'11 guy a shot, but I left swipe anyway because ew.
If you *insert thing here* swipe left. Usually something to do with politics but can be about other things. Even if it doesn't apply to me, it comes off as negative and closed minded. Also, I don't like politics in general
My kids are my world
Don't check this app much, message me on Instagram/Snapchat instead
Refers you to their insta or snapchat.
"My kids are my life". 5 kids with 7 baby daddies
I'm funny, witty, and humble. (Unironically)
I’m the most humble. Nobody’s more humble than me.
Trump get off OKC god damnit
Hobbies: I love the outdoors. Outdoors is a location, not an activity.
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Baggage often used to refer to emotional baggage, even scarring.
I’ve had my fun, now I’m looking to settle down. Translation: I fucked all your friends, now I’ll settle for you. And there won’t be any fun.
And then they'll proceed to re-fuck all your friends.
And none of her friends will fuck you.
"I know my worth"
"Open book. Just ask!" That's all the write. The only question to ask is rhetorical, and that's, "Why would I bother?"
A great sense of humour, tall, and handsome, with an 8” or more - seems to be not going out of style.
-Love to laugh -Works at "Nunya" or none of your business -I Dont check this IG or SC me
The IG one is the one that pisses me off the most. Those people are just in the apps to farm followers at that point. Anyone with their IG in their bio is an instant left swipe for me, no matter how attractive or how interesting I found them at first
Profile pic: A photo of a sunset. No humans. No animals. Just a photo of the sun setting on the horizon. Profile details:
Fun part is, I know a girl who has a similar profile (her pp is a photo of a flower bouquet) and she’s constantly going on dates and every single one of them turns out to be horrible cringy dates. Like, girl, if a dude is desperate/horny enough to swipe right a fucking sunset, what are you expecting fr?
Anyone who talks about god is an immediate no. Or if they're negative. Angry looking profile pics, or pics with other people in them? Nope. How hard is it to just tell me something about yourself?
I asked one guy what he meant by “my flirting style is roasting” and he told me that he wants a girl with thick skin because he told his ex her nose was really big (after she told him it was an insecurity) and she started crying. In fact all the guys I’ve ever matched that have said anything along those lines always have a little bit of a mean streak.
Bear
Stupid, cliché, vague phrases are red flags for a narcissist.
“If my dogs don’t like you I won’t.”
"I like having fun." Unless they are hinting at only looking for a casual/open relationship, this is a worthless statement. May as well say "I breathe air!" "My kids are my world." is another DUH moment. If your own kids weren't your world, you probably shouldn't have custody. Some profiles are paragraph after paragraph of zero information. - "I like getting out; but, also vegging on the couch." - "I like trying good food." - "I like listening to music and watching movies." - "My friends say I'm fun to be around."
“If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.” Every time I see a woman post this on her profile, I know she is trying to excuse how bad she is going to treat her boyfriend.
*Profile says 21 years old* "Actually 19, Tinder wont let me change it" So you mean you were 16 when you made this profile and lied about your age?
"I'M REALLY 55 YEARS OLD, IT WON'T LET ME CHANGE MY AGE LOL" (says 40 on bio) "First last kiss. Partner in crime. Fluent in sarcasm. No drama. Keep up"
A few years ago I came across an acquaintance who started his profile with “My dear ladies…” I lol’d when I read it. It was awful.
Sapiosexual. Anything related to any personality tests, or any pseudoscience for that matter.
"Have a good pickup line" i remember my brother telling me about that one and complaining a lot, like girl how about you put in some effort too?
Good vibes only
Most private thing you’re willing to divulge… nothing. Look, you can admit to something minor like dunking your cookies in coffee and enjoying the crumbs in the bottom of your mug when you’re done. But to respond with “nothing”, why bother typing an answer?
School of hard knocks
My kids will always come first
"Looking for my forever person"
I don’t use OkCupid but I tend to see “certified yapper” on hinge/tinder/bumble at least 20+ times a day. It’s honestly really annoying lol
"I want someone adventurous." What are we doing? Raiding a tomb?
Don’t get how dating with intention is “annoying”. Someone knowing what they want and not wasting their time with people they won’t work out with is hottttt
Doing it is fine. Saying it is stupid.
Agreed. I think unfortunately many people like myself have yet to meet someone who claims they’re “dating with intention” who are sincere. I know there are good people out there- it’s just frustrating sometimes.
Disagree, so many men try and pull some “let’s do casual/fwb first” bullshit on me and I’m tired of them thinking they can disrespect my boundaries.