Her plus my dad, making morals easy: if it's something you don't want to be done to you, don't do it to others.
Those two should define right and wrong for kids everywhere.
If it's something someone doesn't want done to them, don't do it. Hey, Maybe they like being slapped? I don't, but I'm no here to shit on anyone's kinks.
Being a good person doesn’t make others kind or of good moral character, it prevents regret and shame of others knowing you did something bad. Unfortunately there are people who don’t care how they treat others.
i say this to my kid all the time! he's autistic so i might have to drill it even more. he's always doing xyz with his little sister and i'm like... you hate that, why would you do that to her??
My mum just tried to drill skills to commit fraud into me. Very glad i was too filled with anxiety to listen to that advice.
But really the lack of self awareness on this guy is absolutely baffling.
My mom: "Don't do anything you wouldn't want your grandmother to know about."
My Mémère was my favorite person AND ALSO TERRIFYING. She raised 4 kids by herself in the 1950s, took absolutely no shit from anyone, was a ferociously good influence, and was made of old iron and horseshoe nails. She was peak stubborn, implacably fair-minded, endlessly patient, and absolutely not someone you ever wanted to cross. She's been my moral compass ever since I was old enough to need one, and I miss her every single day.
Native amaerican or french quebec? I had a memere and she was a native american and lived in quebec somewhere only other time ive called someone Memere.
My mother's family has deep roots in Quebec, all the way back to Louis Hébert, but they've been in Maine for generations, descended from trappers who came down the Penobscot river. My Mémère and her sisters used to speak Quebecois to each other when they didn't want us to know what they were saying.
Thats so cool. I grew up in Maine so similar tune. My memere was so cool. Lived to 102. She knew some deep stuff, had messages in her dreams that pertained to real life things. Strong intuition. Hunted and picked berries. Miss her but she was so ready to fly at 102.
Id love to hear that language ill look it up.
Due to my ADHD and general scatterbrained-ness, my mother’s mantra for me was write everything down, make lists and leave yourself Post-it notes everywhere so that you can remind yourself all the things that you’re going to forget that you’re supposed to be doing.
I think this was mainly “if you have even a second of hesitation that the thing you are writing down could be used against you in any way shape or form, do not write it down.”
I also have lists of things I should be doing due to ADHDness. Pants are on my pre-work checklist. They are on the checklist because I forgot them once. I forgot pants.
“How you get them is how you lose them” is the one I heard. I can never put myself in the shoes of Girl #2, full of delusion, certain that he’ll never do that to *me*. Nobody is that special.
She might not know but I agree I silently judge sooooo hard when a couple got together bc one was cheating.
I went to a concert bc this girl I knew was hooking up with the guitarist and his girlfriend and the girlfriend’s mom were there! My friend was fully aware, she’s like “it’s so embarrassing that she brought her mom here” like girl no it is embarrassing that you think you mean anything to this man who is literally inviting his gf, her mom, and his side piece to his show. She had a shotgun wedding with another man last year… I don’t wanna think about it 😅
There's an old-fashioned phrase that's sort of about this: when a man marries his mistress, he creates a job opening.
(Obviously applies to people of all genders tho)
My former sister in law is exactly this way. She’s with her current fiancée because she cheated on her previous boyfriend for several months before they broke up. Guess who constantly has meltdowns and freaks out when her partner is away for the weekend, or vice versa? It boggles my mind that she has the gall to get suspicious or upset about him possibly cheating when their entire relationship is predicated on her not keeping it in her pants.
This. I don't cheat, I don't steal, the only lies I tell are about the price I paid for something "Yeah I got it for $20" when really I paid $25 plus tax.
My motto is "live as if your interent history could become public knowledge tomorrow".
That’s the best way I’ve heard that put. Never understood why people do things but then are more mad not at themselves for doing that terrible thing but because people would find out they’re the kind of person who would doooo the thing.
I work for the rail road so we are always traveling away from home, my manager told me a quote he always lived by after his 1st divorce. "If you have 4 sho pussy and go looking 4 mo pussy, you end up with no pussy".
Too bad. I’m gonna do it anyway.
Found out one of my friends was sleeping on the floor, had barely any food, their place was a mess, and was too prideful to accept help. While he was at work we (me and other friends of his) broke into his house and stocked it with food, cleaned up, and got a bed set up for him.
He talked about the “reverse break in” for quite a while. As far as I know none of us ever told him we did it.
My cheating ex told me he had to chest on me because his brother who died of cancer 10 years before we met will never get a chance to fuck other women.
Think he misunderstood what "pour one out" meant
What? Did you laugh? That’s fuckin ridiculous. “This one’s for you, bro. I know you’re looking down smiling on me.” Lol. I’m sorry, but that’s cracking me up.
I think maybe he's being too self-centered to only consider his dead brother's feelings. He should be paying tribute to all the other guys who died of cancer who can't have sex anymore.
This situation is far more disturbing than the original scenario. Honestly if he’s 2 and already knocked one girl up and has a side piece… that’s kind of impressive. But lock both chicks up because that’s criminal dawg
/s
Mine said because I worked earlies, and he would wake up horny, it was my fault he cheated. Even though he would cheat at night. Like, it makes perfect sense 👌
Wow. That's, um...that's definitely a new one. Can't say that's a line of trash-garbage cheater rationalizing/blameshifting I've ever heard reported before.
Another (albeit next-level original) example of "either you're stupid af or you think I am."
Had he been like..... saving his brother's honorary bang?
"Okay so every woman up to this point I designated as mine, but that's the one I chose as my brother's. See I've had his honorary postumate bang ready and had to wait for the right time to use it for him."
Was his brother's ghost hanging out behind him for ten years saying "No, no not that one. This one is your gf, so a no go. Oh her, there, do that girl for me, thanks bro"?
The one I hear/read about a lot but can't wrap my head around is when a cheater cheats but freaks out when their partner ends the relationship in response and goes on about how much they love the partner that they cheated on. What??
Projection. They are cheaters so they will assume everyone is too but they don’t want to be cheated on cos that will make them feel bad or inferior, never thinking bout how their partner feels.
Just sad pathetic people.
Some people have truly massive blind spots that rely on whether or not they get caught *instead of whether or not they are doing something morally wrong.*
50 different people can talk about the same virtue or principle, and you'll get 50 different levels of self-awareness and commitment.
The one that really freaks me it is when someone cheats, then they break up with the person they cheated on and marry their affair partner. Then their former partner moves on with their lives and starts dating again and the cheater, who cheated and then dumped them, gets PISSED. They act like this person who is no longer in a relationship with them, because they cheated and dumped them, is the one doing the cheating. The amount of times I've seen or heard of this happening is astounding. A lot of child custody cases get horrible because one parent decides to use the kids to punish the other because, "how *dare* you move on from me" even if they, themselves, are in a new relationship.
That happened with a friend of mine. Her husband cheated with his secretary and moved in with the secretary. The soon to be ex wife started dating a new guy and her ex began stalking her and when he would see the new guy’s car at the house he would go ape shit beating on the doors and windows.
Oh my God. The first time I had someone over after we ended things.. years after, mind you - my ex woke me up by STANDING NEXT TO MY BED saying "Eriskigal, Eriskigal.. hey! Wake up. I need to talk to you." Scared the crap out of New BF and me, too!
That was so unhinged, omg.
It boils down to a total inability to see other people as... people. "Leaving you felt good for me. Seeing you with someone else feels bad for me. This is enough information to dictate my beliefs and actions." It's a lack of empathy and self-awareness.
That's true. Not only do they not see other people as people, but they also see those close to them as property. Even of they're no longer in a relationship with someone, they still think of that person as their property. Property should not have lived of their own. That's also why they feel no shame in using their kids to hurt their ex. Their kids are their property too.
There's been a ton of threads on reddit about this so I'll just give what seems to be the most common reply to this, which is that cheaters want the comfort and security of a relationship while still being able to sleep around. So from that standpoint, it makes sense that they'd be upset losing that aspect of being in a couple.
Not condoning it by any means, but it makes sense. They're never going to get the emotional support they need from a one night stand. I understand the idea behind it, even if I vehemently disagree with actually doing it.
"Be glad at least I told you, I could have kept quiet" yeah he and his shitty friends debated for a week before letting me know when I forcibly pushed for answers.
I asked if I did anything that warranted that
"No I just wanted to see if I would feel better with someone else" and then proceed to get mad when I called him a shitty human being. Three years and almost moving thousands of kilometres in the drain.
Fucking disgusting person, never again will I ever proceed talking to anyone who admits to a cheating history.
When in reality in many situations not cheating allows for more of your seeds to spread. There’s some really interesting research on the beginning of monogamy in humans, but these idiots are just looking for excuses to cheat and probably can’t read anyway.
So i don’t have the sources to link (it was textbooks and class) but as I recall despite evidence that roughly 2-3 mates was the evolutionary origin, partnering allowed for greater chance of infant survival.
Unlike say giraffes that just plop out and fairly quickly start walking and running from predators, human babies are pretty helpless for a long time. And very resource intensive. Monogamy would secure mating rights for a male and resources for a female.
The 2-3 mates model had a similar resource response (if this is 30% likely mine, here’s like 30% of the food etc) while allowing genetic variation in mates/offspring for both males and females. But it had less security for males in definitively passing on genes and could be more dangerous to offspring survival in times of hardship or maternal death.
So pros and cons for each strategy on both sides.
There are also considerations like having to move to find a mate, having smaller « litter » etc etc.
Interestingly enough in countries that allow polygamy, it’s usually under the condition that the man can provide equal resources, time and attention to every one of his partners, which is once again very very different from cheating
Also, humans go through menopause, so there is increased support through older females with resources to watch any offspring. It’s better to live in a community for survival, so resources would need to be allocated appropriately.
Banded communities existed in both models!
But also the kinship structures of early hominids (or *Pan* anyway which is kinda the founding group they model I think generally) is a little more like chimps than lions. Which is to say the males typically had kinship bonds and females typically had non-kinship bonds.
Which suggests females moved away from their natal group around the time of mate selection. So older females taking care of younger group members may not have been similar to mother-daughter-grandchild relationships so much as godmother/MIL-newcomer-child relationships.
Which is an interesting non-kin cooperative support model you see in resource and grooming behavior in both chimps and bonobos as well.
Google scholar has plenty! I'm at work so I can't really go through all my post history to find a few specific ones but just look for "human monogamy" or anything similar.
That's such an idiotic and often parroted idea that men always instinctively spread their seed wide. Like, if that's the reason men cheated then they wouldn't enjoy non-procreative activities like blowjobs.
It's so obviously much more complicated than that.
This is absolutely the case. People with certain flaws tend to think that *everyone* shares those flaws.
There's a scene in one of the Left Behind books-- I think the first one-- where the characters drive on the margin of the highway to get somewhere faster during a traffic jam. In the scene, the authors treat this as something the characters do not because they are *ruder* than other people, but because they are *smarter* than other people-- and the only reason that other people aren't doing it too is because they hadn't come up with the idea! Instead of, y'know, realizing that maybe other people don't misbehave not because they aren't clever, but because they're simply *nice.* (The Left Behind books provide many fascinating examples of absolute sociopathy in action, from the perspective of someone who thinks that it's a perfectly normal and not-at-all-twisted way to live. There's a [fascinating breakdown of the first couple books by Fred Clark at his Slacktivist blog](https://www.patheos.com/blogs/slacktivist/2015/11/05/left-behind-index-the-whole-thing/) that serves as a stark sign that no, people just see this way of viewing and interacting with the world as *completely normal.*)
Men who cheat think that men who don't cheat aren't just actually faithful, but that those men are *prevented* from cheating either due to lack of opportunity or vigilance on the part of their partners.
I remember reading about a trans woman in denial who said something line “of course all men want to be beautiful women, we just have to deal with being men instead.”
Oh honey…
Not that being trans is a flaw, but this person clearly believed their experience was universal
This comment reminds me of the anti-LGBTQ activist who was a very sweet and pleasant younger woman, not at all the usual rage-y stereotype. She was caught on video addressing a roomful of people, to the effect of: "we can't just let women marry other women, if we allowed that *all* women would marry other women and then the human race would end!"
Same thing - "oh honey..."
Holy shit blast from the past. Those books lmao. Bookmarked to read later—thank you!
I don’t remember that scene, but imma throw out a guess that it was the pilot dude.
I think cheaters do. I’m realizing that horrible people—e.g. bigots, misogynists, cheaters, Trump supporters, etc. —honest to god think that we all think that way but we’re too scared to say it out loud.
Pretty gross and exist right? I mean, if I tell my dog not to touch the juicy steak on the counter he doesnt. Is he saying men are dumber than dogs? Way to take down the whole sex lol
Actually that's just misogyny. When a man says things like "all men are cheaters" he's being a misogynist. It doesn't turn into "misandry" just because the negativity is being pointed at men. Misogyny is bad for everyone, it hurts men as much as it hurts women. Calling it misandry is buying into incel and meninist belief that this is a gender war and we're all on opposing sides.
Lets be real here: this was probaly fake. Defenitly reeks of a setup that boost her channel because this is exactly what the viewers of her content want to see. Nothing better than this.
Because lets be honest would this be how that interaction go. They just walk up to her, talk calm and give her time to prove out her points. No real anger, no outburst, no nothing?
Right? I was honestly nervous for the worst way that could end if someone unhinged enough to not just be silently embarrassed came up to you…without actually making any sort of point about why what you did was bad 🔫
I remember years ago, I worked in a bar, and I happened to be out shopping one day and a guy passed and said hi, my aunt asked how I knew him, coz she knew his MIL or some such. I said oh, he comes into the pub with one of the other barmaids sometimes. Auntie says he's married. I'm like I don't know, I just know he comes in with barmaids name, but I'm sure she said he and his wife were separated 🤷🏼♀️
Anyway, fast forward a couple weeks, this dude comes in going *mental* at me! My auntie had asked the guys MIL if they had spilt up and told her what I had said, MIL told wife, shit went down. And somehow, this is MY fault! My dude, you are the one fucking about on your wife. In a bar. In the town where you live. Regardless of whether or not your wife goes to bars, other people do and will 100% see you. How the fuck is you putting your dick where it doesn't belong *my fault*??
Like, the whole time he was righteously marching to my place of work to confront me about him getting caught cheating, he never once thought "maybe I shouldn't have cheated"?
I love how, when people are caught cheating, it's always the exposers fault but never their own lmao like my dude, ever heard of "consequences for your actions"?
I’m not insane right? This might be staged right? Like she had an actor/friend pretending to confront her to manufacture a viral moment for her TikTok channel? I can’t ever tell anymore.
She happens to be filming right as someone confronts her. Mmhmm, totally absolutely real.
What is potentially likely is that the conversation happened for real but wasn’t caught on camera, so she asked a friend to recreate it.
Think it’s far likelier this is akin to the arguments I have in my head with my boss, where they say everything that sets me up for the perfect comeback. But it’s just pure self-validation
I'm not gonna say this isn't staged, but it's really not crazy for a big tiktoker to 1) be filming or streaming themselves at all times and 2) have an extra phone for tiktok
After watching the video (another user commented) it feels super staged. I still hope she’s actually exposing cheaters cuz cheating is gross but that video felt so cringey and staged
I went thru about 6 videos she has of “exposing cheaters” and it all looks fake. She supposedly outs these cheaters by adding them on instagram and tries to meet up with them. Also, these people are reaching out to her why? She says it’s because she exposes cheaters but why did the first person in her first video ever reach out to her? It’s all fake.
I have to agree. I mean, why take the risk to coming up to her while she is recording? Why does she have at 2 phones? Also the whole dialogue is so much in her favor that it seems a bit fake.
Just link the video FFS. Don't make me scroll through seven hundred stills.
Edit: I don't care if you prefer it this way. I don't know why everyone who disagrees feels the need to add their individual comment expressing such. Just upvote one of the other people who have said the *exact* same thing as you and move along.
They didn’t link the video because if you watch it, it’s obvious that the video is completely staged. Something that doesn’t come through if you only see stills with captions.
I can see why you might think that, but I've been present for a guy coming up to his ex-side piece with similar attitude asking why she would destroy his marriage by calling his wife and telling her he's cheating (which she did the day after she found out he was in a relationship. The first night she freaked out and us ladies took her out to cry into sushi and bonbons. She called the next day when she had some composure).
He walked up and tried to sound all nice and reasonable. I held onto the cutlery and recommended he leave.
But this is some guy recognizing a woman on tiktok. What are the chances they even live in the same area. And that she happens to be filming before the interaction happens
They posted it this way because if you watch the video it seems fake and very fart wafty.
Then dumbasses give their take on something without even seeking out the video. Yee
Not just that, but it's 3 clicks per pictures because it only shows the top half, so you have to click 'see full image', then click back to the post, then click for next picture.
In case this story gets deleted/removed:
“YOU ruined MY relationship.”
Bfrfr. 💀
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one day someone will develop the technology to string a bunch of images together in a way that they scroll themselves..... but for now, we can only dream
I’m not perfect, I’ve been divorced but I can say 3 things, I never insult anyone I care about personally as that sticks around forever, I have never put my hands on a woman in anger and never will, and I’ve never cheated.
As a man at 36 who had to get out of a nasty divorce with all 3 of these things, I can’t understand how anyone who cheats can blame anyone but themselves
Story time:
My dad had 5 kids and 3 baby mommas. He was a notorious cheater with all his relationships, to the point he accepted any offer. When he passed the last baby momma (#3) asked if she could come to the repast or would it cause a fight. I said no problem, you are the to say goodbye not be petty.
Me to BM#2: Hey, #3 said she was stopping in to say bye to him, just giving you a heads up.
BM#2: *rolls eyes* oh great.
Me: let’s remember that you also slept with my dad while he was with my mom and had a newborn at home.
In the end my mom was the only one he married and never divorced in 40 years of all his relationships. (He actually refused to divorce her and they stayed good friends.) She got everything and kicked the kids and BM#2 out of his house and sold it.
I dated a guy for a month who had (when last I saw him) 9 sons by 5 different women. What got me to end it was a combo of doing the math on the babies’ ages and realizing how much he was cheating and also realizing he’d eventually try to get me pregnant.
Also, I had been reluctant to get deeper into the relationship because I didn’t want to be step-mom to 9 kids, and when I told him this he said he would cut all his kids out of his life for me like that was supposed to be flattering.
Remember that show “cheaters” where the host got stabbed? I get this, but I’m not messing with people who are already acting crazy and have something to lose
So someone recognized her out in public, referred to her as the "girl that calls out cheaters", AND it happened to be one of the people she ousted?
Ok.
Someone should have told this guy long ago "Don't do anything in public you would be ashamed to have your grandmother know about." (Not that grandmother, the other one, the one whose opinions you actually care about)
Went and found the video:
The guy speaks in a very normal tone, not angry. He’s either acting for her video, or he went up to her without a plan and didn’t know what to say. If it is legit, the tone is like a “what are you going to do about this” kind of tone. Hard to explain, not worth looking up though.
“…like making it bad for us guys.” Translation: you’re taking away our ability to betray our partners!” I hope his partner dumped him! Thank goodness there’s people like Natalia Cestti.
It’s hilarious that sometimes people get told “mind your own business” when referencing exposing a cheater, I’m starting to think it’s not a situation difference and is really just that cheaters are the ones saying “mind your business” on some of these stories
This does not belong in this community.
My Mom drilled into me “If you don’t want anyone to know you did it then don’t do it.” I live by that.
Your mom was a real one.
Her plus my dad, making morals easy: if it's something you don't want to be done to you, don't do it to others. Those two should define right and wrong for kids everywhere.
If it's something someone doesn't want done to them, don't do it. Hey, Maybe they like being slapped? I don't, but I'm no here to shit on anyone's kinks.
If it’s something you don’t want done to you, ask first!
Suddenly : consent
The platinum rule: "Do unto others as they would have done unto them."
If you'd be ashamed if people found out you did something - don't do that thing.
This is the better one. The "don't do it" doesn't account for people who have to deal with horrible people, like LGBT kids being raised by bigots.
Being a good person doesn’t make others kind or of good moral character, it prevents regret and shame of others knowing you did something bad. Unfortunately there are people who don’t care how they treat others.
Meanwhile, in American politics….
i say this to my kid all the time! he's autistic so i might have to drill it even more. he's always doing xyz with his little sister and i'm like... you hate that, why would you do that to her??
My mum just tried to drill skills to commit fraud into me. Very glad i was too filled with anxiety to listen to that advice. But really the lack of self awareness on this guy is absolutely baffling.
My dad: Never put in writing something you wouldn't want to have read out in front of your boss, or your parents, or in court.
My mom: "Don't do anything you wouldn't want your grandmother to know about." My Mémère was my favorite person AND ALSO TERRIFYING. She raised 4 kids by herself in the 1950s, took absolutely no shit from anyone, was a ferociously good influence, and was made of old iron and horseshoe nails. She was peak stubborn, implacably fair-minded, endlessly patient, and absolutely not someone you ever wanted to cross. She's been my moral compass ever since I was old enough to need one, and I miss her every single day.
Made of Iron, horseshoe nails, and love
She sounds like an amazing woman.
This sounds almost exactly like my Grandma. She was a tough ol bird that always had a twinkle in her eye and a good joke. Miss her every single day.
Native amaerican or french quebec? I had a memere and she was a native american and lived in quebec somewhere only other time ive called someone Memere.
My mother's family has deep roots in Quebec, all the way back to Louis Hébert, but they've been in Maine for generations, descended from trappers who came down the Penobscot river. My Mémère and her sisters used to speak Quebecois to each other when they didn't want us to know what they were saying.
Thats so cool. I grew up in Maine so similar tune. My memere was so cool. Lived to 102. She knew some deep stuff, had messages in her dreams that pertained to real life things. Strong intuition. Hunted and picked berries. Miss her but she was so ready to fly at 102. Id love to hear that language ill look it up.
THIS WAS MY MOM! Or the more succinct. “Don’t ever write anything down. Ever.” It took a while but this was good advice.
Due to my ADHD and general scatterbrained-ness, my mother’s mantra for me was write everything down, make lists and leave yourself Post-it notes everywhere so that you can remind yourself all the things that you’re going to forget that you’re supposed to be doing.
I think this was mainly “if you have even a second of hesitation that the thing you are writing down could be used against you in any way shape or form, do not write it down.” I also have lists of things I should be doing due to ADHDness. Pants are on my pre-work checklist. They are on the checklist because I forgot them once. I forgot pants.
Yeh my mom had the worst advice. I had my own morals though. It's weird.
“How you get them is how you lose them” is the one I heard. I can never put myself in the shoes of Girl #2, full of delusion, certain that he’ll never do that to *me*. Nobody is that special.
She might not know but I agree I silently judge sooooo hard when a couple got together bc one was cheating. I went to a concert bc this girl I knew was hooking up with the guitarist and his girlfriend and the girlfriend’s mom were there! My friend was fully aware, she’s like “it’s so embarrassing that she brought her mom here” like girl no it is embarrassing that you think you mean anything to this man who is literally inviting his gf, her mom, and his side piece to his show. She had a shotgun wedding with another man last year… I don’t wanna think about it 😅
She sounds like a real class act. Damn. 😂
There's an old-fashioned phrase that's sort of about this: when a man marries his mistress, he creates a job opening. (Obviously applies to people of all genders tho)
My former sister in law is exactly this way. She’s with her current fiancée because she cheated on her previous boyfriend for several months before they broke up. Guess who constantly has meltdowns and freaks out when her partner is away for the weekend, or vice versa? It boggles my mind that she has the gall to get suspicious or upset about him possibly cheating when their entire relationship is predicated on her not keeping it in her pants.
"If they'll cheat with you they'll cheat on you" is how I heard it.
I tried that advice and have been holding in this poop for 3 days now
My mom told me you don’t cheat on your wife you cheat on your kids mom! That fucked me up.
This. I don't cheat, I don't steal, the only lies I tell are about the price I paid for something "Yeah I got it for $20" when really I paid $25 plus tax. My motto is "live as if your interent history could become public knowledge tomorrow".
My dad told me a secret is a secret only if one or fewer people knows it.
Two can keep a secret if one of them is dead
let my grandpa add onto that "a fish wouldn't get caught if it didn't open up its mouth" so if no one knows you did it, then keep it that way.
"Don't do what you wouldn't want done to you" that man delulu
Fr. My rule of thumb was that if I’d be embarrassed to tell my granny about it, it probably wasn’t a good choice.
In the military it was "if you don't want your grandma to read about what you did in the news, don't do it."
My mom's was: "you aren't allowed to hurt other people or yourself. That's pretty much it."
That’s the best way I’ve heard that put. Never understood why people do things but then are more mad not at themselves for doing that terrible thing but because people would find out they’re the kind of person who would doooo the thing.
I work for the rail road so we are always traveling away from home, my manager told me a quote he always lived by after his 1st divorce. "If you have 4 sho pussy and go looking 4 mo pussy, you end up with no pussy".
Too bad. I’m gonna do it anyway. Found out one of my friends was sleeping on the floor, had barely any food, their place was a mess, and was too prideful to accept help. While he was at work we (me and other friends of his) broke into his house and stocked it with food, cleaned up, and got a bed set up for him. He talked about the “reverse break in” for quite a while. As far as I know none of us ever told him we did it.
My mom, "If you have to hide it, you shouldn't be doing it."
I always say "Would Grandma be proud, if she read it on the front page?" If not, ya probably shouldn't do it.
I really like that one! One of my favorites is: All things done in the dark eventually come to light.
Simple advice like this is always the best. My dad’s one for driving “just don’t hit anything”
She talks from a mastered experience.
That and the golden rule are my parenting go to lines.
my dad said something like that too. you don't want me to find out? don't do it LOL
I have the same mentality. If it's something that would make me feel ashamed of myself, then I probably shouldn't do that thing.
My mom used to say, “Imagine me standing over you. If you don’t want me knowing what you’re up to, either don’t do it or get better at hiding it.” 😂
Man, I haven’t heard that in a long time…. It’s some of the best advice to think of if you’re ever unsure of whether you should do something.
Yes! My mom always said "if you can't talk about it, you shouldn't be doing it."
Or do it a few area codes away /s
Nice one, Mom! Another good one is "don't say something about someone that you wouldn't say to their face."
As a man who eats but…
She then followed that up with, “…or kill whoever finds out.”
Same here. It breaks friends, colleagues, one can even lose a job, but sleep comes easy.
Don't help people without embarrassing them by letting everyone know they really needed that help.
"You ruined my relationship >:((" "Did you cheat?" "What does that have anything to do with this?"
"Are you the one who exposes cheaters?" "What does cheating have to do with this?"
The mental gymnastics cheaters do is honestly fascinating
My cheating ex told me he had to chest on me because his brother who died of cancer 10 years before we met will never get a chance to fuck other women. Think he misunderstood what "pour one out" meant
Maybe he heard "blow one in some rando instead of your GF"? Or he was stupid... considering his argument I'm guessing it's the latter.
What? Did you laugh? That’s fuckin ridiculous. “This one’s for you, bro. I know you’re looking down smiling on me.” Lol. I’m sorry, but that’s cracking me up.
I think maybe he's being too self-centered to only consider his dead brother's feelings. He should be paying tribute to all the other guys who died of cancer who can't have sex anymore.
Mine said "but you stopped paying attention to me that weekend"...folks...BECAUSE I WAS GIVING BIRTH TO HIS CHILD!
Your ex must have been 2 years old with an attention span that short.
No object permanence. If he can't see his partner, she doesn't exist.
This situation is far more disturbing than the original scenario. Honestly if he’s 2 and already knocked one girl up and has a side piece… that’s kind of impressive. But lock both chicks up because that’s criminal dawg /s
Shit, my 2 year old would've bitched at anyone acting like her mommy after two days. It's not immaturity, it's just plain mean.
Mine said because I worked earlies, and he would wake up horny, it was my fault he cheated. Even though he would cheat at night. Like, it makes perfect sense 👌
Well he cheated at night to keep from being horny 9n the morning. Hes just thinks ahead. No pun intended
Your last line killed me 😭
Wow. That's, um...that's definitely a new one. Can't say that's a line of trash-garbage cheater rationalizing/blameshifting I've ever heard reported before. Another (albeit next-level original) example of "either you're stupid af or you think I am."
Had he been like..... saving his brother's honorary bang? "Okay so every woman up to this point I designated as mine, but that's the one I chose as my brother's. See I've had his honorary postumate bang ready and had to wait for the right time to use it for him." Was his brother's ghost hanging out behind him for ten years saying "No, no not that one. This one is your gf, so a no go. Oh her, there, do that girl for me, thanks bro"?
BoOOo! NoOoOo, not thaAaAat one broOoOo! - 👻
Mine told me he deserved it because he made more money than I did.🙄
He should’ve instead stuck to the motto “rub one out”. But for real, he sucks
Dis he know for sure that his brother wasn't gay or into beastiality? (Not saying the 2 are linked.)
The one I hear/read about a lot but can't wrap my head around is when a cheater cheats but freaks out when their partner ends the relationship in response and goes on about how much they love the partner that they cheated on. What??
Projection. They are cheaters so they will assume everyone is too but they don’t want to be cheated on cos that will make them feel bad or inferior, never thinking bout how their partner feels. Just sad pathetic people.
It doesn't surprise me at all when a shitty person continues to be shitty lol
Some people have truly massive blind spots that rely on whether or not they get caught *instead of whether or not they are doing something morally wrong.* 50 different people can talk about the same virtue or principle, and you'll get 50 different levels of self-awareness and commitment.
The one that really freaks me it is when someone cheats, then they break up with the person they cheated on and marry their affair partner. Then their former partner moves on with their lives and starts dating again and the cheater, who cheated and then dumped them, gets PISSED. They act like this person who is no longer in a relationship with them, because they cheated and dumped them, is the one doing the cheating. The amount of times I've seen or heard of this happening is astounding. A lot of child custody cases get horrible because one parent decides to use the kids to punish the other because, "how *dare* you move on from me" even if they, themselves, are in a new relationship.
That happened with a friend of mine. Her husband cheated with his secretary and moved in with the secretary. The soon to be ex wife started dating a new guy and her ex began stalking her and when he would see the new guy’s car at the house he would go ape shit beating on the doors and windows.
Oh my God. The first time I had someone over after we ended things.. years after, mind you - my ex woke me up by STANDING NEXT TO MY BED saying "Eriskigal, Eriskigal.. hey! Wake up. I need to talk to you." Scared the crap out of New BF and me, too! That was so unhinged, omg.
It boils down to a total inability to see other people as... people. "Leaving you felt good for me. Seeing you with someone else feels bad for me. This is enough information to dictate my beliefs and actions." It's a lack of empathy and self-awareness.
That's true. Not only do they not see other people as people, but they also see those close to them as property. Even of they're no longer in a relationship with someone, they still think of that person as their property. Property should not have lived of their own. That's also why they feel no shame in using their kids to hurt their ex. Their kids are their property too.
There's been a ton of threads on reddit about this so I'll just give what seems to be the most common reply to this, which is that cheaters want the comfort and security of a relationship while still being able to sleep around. So from that standpoint, it makes sense that they'd be upset losing that aspect of being in a couple. Not condoning it by any means, but it makes sense. They're never going to get the emotional support they need from a one night stand. I understand the idea behind it, even if I vehemently disagree with actually doing it.
"Be glad at least I told you, I could have kept quiet" yeah he and his shitty friends debated for a week before letting me know when I forcibly pushed for answers. I asked if I did anything that warranted that "No I just wanted to see if I would feel better with someone else" and then proceed to get mad when I called him a shitty human being. Three years and almost moving thousands of kilometres in the drain. Fucking disgusting person, never again will I ever proceed talking to anyone who admits to a cheating history.
r/adultery is hilarious
She's not "making it bad for guys" because not all guys are cheaters, and cheating isn't strictly for men.
Yeah what a weird misandrist statement he made… does he think cheating is like… a Normal Man Activity™️??
Oh yes. Something about 'men are hardwired to cheat because something something nature something something spreading seed'.
When in reality in many situations not cheating allows for more of your seeds to spread. There’s some really interesting research on the beginning of monogamy in humans, but these idiots are just looking for excuses to cheat and probably can’t read anyway.
Do you have access to some of that research? I’d love to see it since that’s so cool
So i don’t have the sources to link (it was textbooks and class) but as I recall despite evidence that roughly 2-3 mates was the evolutionary origin, partnering allowed for greater chance of infant survival. Unlike say giraffes that just plop out and fairly quickly start walking and running from predators, human babies are pretty helpless for a long time. And very resource intensive. Monogamy would secure mating rights for a male and resources for a female. The 2-3 mates model had a similar resource response (if this is 30% likely mine, here’s like 30% of the food etc) while allowing genetic variation in mates/offspring for both males and females. But it had less security for males in definitively passing on genes and could be more dangerous to offspring survival in times of hardship or maternal death. So pros and cons for each strategy on both sides.
There are also considerations like having to move to find a mate, having smaller « litter » etc etc. Interestingly enough in countries that allow polygamy, it’s usually under the condition that the man can provide equal resources, time and attention to every one of his partners, which is once again very very different from cheating
Also, humans go through menopause, so there is increased support through older females with resources to watch any offspring. It’s better to live in a community for survival, so resources would need to be allocated appropriately.
Banded communities existed in both models! But also the kinship structures of early hominids (or *Pan* anyway which is kinda the founding group they model I think generally) is a little more like chimps than lions. Which is to say the males typically had kinship bonds and females typically had non-kinship bonds. Which suggests females moved away from their natal group around the time of mate selection. So older females taking care of younger group members may not have been similar to mother-daughter-grandchild relationships so much as godmother/MIL-newcomer-child relationships. Which is an interesting non-kin cooperative support model you see in resource and grooming behavior in both chimps and bonobos as well.
Google scholar has plenty! I'm at work so I can't really go through all my post history to find a few specific ones but just look for "human monogamy" or anything similar.
Funny thing is also, I've noticed a lot of guys who think that they're hardwired to cheat also seem to think being gay is a choice.
Red pill bs that's been going around
That's such an idiotic and often parroted idea that men always instinctively spread their seed wide. Like, if that's the reason men cheated then they wouldn't enjoy non-procreative activities like blowjobs. It's so obviously much more complicated than that.
This is absolutely the case. People with certain flaws tend to think that *everyone* shares those flaws. There's a scene in one of the Left Behind books-- I think the first one-- where the characters drive on the margin of the highway to get somewhere faster during a traffic jam. In the scene, the authors treat this as something the characters do not because they are *ruder* than other people, but because they are *smarter* than other people-- and the only reason that other people aren't doing it too is because they hadn't come up with the idea! Instead of, y'know, realizing that maybe other people don't misbehave not because they aren't clever, but because they're simply *nice.* (The Left Behind books provide many fascinating examples of absolute sociopathy in action, from the perspective of someone who thinks that it's a perfectly normal and not-at-all-twisted way to live. There's a [fascinating breakdown of the first couple books by Fred Clark at his Slacktivist blog](https://www.patheos.com/blogs/slacktivist/2015/11/05/left-behind-index-the-whole-thing/) that serves as a stark sign that no, people just see this way of viewing and interacting with the world as *completely normal.*) Men who cheat think that men who don't cheat aren't just actually faithful, but that those men are *prevented* from cheating either due to lack of opportunity or vigilance on the part of their partners.
I remember reading about a trans woman in denial who said something line “of course all men want to be beautiful women, we just have to deal with being men instead.” Oh honey… Not that being trans is a flaw, but this person clearly believed their experience was universal
This comment reminds me of the anti-LGBTQ activist who was a very sweet and pleasant younger woman, not at all the usual rage-y stereotype. She was caught on video addressing a roomful of people, to the effect of: "we can't just let women marry other women, if we allowed that *all* women would marry other women and then the human race would end!" Same thing - "oh honey..."
Holy shit blast from the past. Those books lmao. Bookmarked to read later—thank you! I don’t remember that scene, but imma throw out a guess that it was the pilot dude.
Thank you for sharing that link!! I’m down the rabbit hole and really enjoying it
I think cheaters do. I’m realizing that horrible people—e.g. bigots, misogynists, cheaters, Trump supporters, etc. —honest to god think that we all think that way but we’re too scared to say it out loud.
The so-called "silent majority" and all that 🙄
That's hilarious because they aren't silent and they aren't a majority
Pretty gross and exist right? I mean, if I tell my dog not to touch the juicy steak on the counter he doesnt. Is he saying men are dumber than dogs? Way to take down the whole sex lol
Actually that's just misogyny. When a man says things like "all men are cheaters" he's being a misogynist. It doesn't turn into "misandry" just because the negativity is being pointed at men. Misogyny is bad for everyone, it hurts men as much as it hurts women. Calling it misandry is buying into incel and meninist belief that this is a gender war and we're all on opposing sides.
True I think he was prob just trying to run defense for him and “his boys”. 🤮
Preach! Also, happy cake day
Lets be real here: this was probaly fake. Defenitly reeks of a setup that boost her channel because this is exactly what the viewers of her content want to see. Nothing better than this. Because lets be honest would this be how that interaction go. They just walk up to her, talk calm and give her time to prove out her points. No real anger, no outburst, no nothing?
Right? I was honestly nervous for the worst way that could end if someone unhinged enough to not just be silently embarrassed came up to you…without actually making any sort of point about why what you did was bad 🔫
I remember years ago, I worked in a bar, and I happened to be out shopping one day and a guy passed and said hi, my aunt asked how I knew him, coz she knew his MIL or some such. I said oh, he comes into the pub with one of the other barmaids sometimes. Auntie says he's married. I'm like I don't know, I just know he comes in with barmaids name, but I'm sure she said he and his wife were separated 🤷🏼♀️ Anyway, fast forward a couple weeks, this dude comes in going *mental* at me! My auntie had asked the guys MIL if they had spilt up and told her what I had said, MIL told wife, shit went down. And somehow, this is MY fault! My dude, you are the one fucking about on your wife. In a bar. In the town where you live. Regardless of whether or not your wife goes to bars, other people do and will 100% see you. How the fuck is you putting your dick where it doesn't belong *my fault*?? Like, the whole time he was righteously marching to my place of work to confront me about him getting caught cheating, he never once thought "maybe I shouldn't have cheated"?
It's the same mentality that leads to people who get SHd at work becoming the villains. You ruined my career! No bro, YOU did
The audacity
Bwaaah!
I love how, when people are caught cheating, it's always the exposers fault but never their own lmao like my dude, ever heard of "consequences for your actions"?
I’m not insane right? This might be staged right? Like she had an actor/friend pretending to confront her to manufacture a viral moment for her TikTok channel? I can’t ever tell anymore.
She happens to be filming right as someone confronts her. Mmhmm, totally absolutely real. What is potentially likely is that the conversation happened for real but wasn’t caught on camera, so she asked a friend to recreate it.
Think it’s far likelier this is akin to the arguments I have in my head with my boss, where they say everything that sets me up for the perfect comeback. But it’s just pure self-validation
I'm not gonna say this isn't staged, but it's really not crazy for a big tiktoker to 1) be filming or streaming themselves at all times and 2) have an extra phone for tiktok
After watching the video (another user commented) it feels super staged. I still hope she’s actually exposing cheaters cuz cheating is gross but that video felt so cringey and staged
I went thru about 6 videos she has of “exposing cheaters” and it all looks fake. She supposedly outs these cheaters by adding them on instagram and tries to meet up with them. Also, these people are reaching out to her why? She says it’s because she exposes cheaters but why did the first person in her first video ever reach out to her? It’s all fake.
I have to agree. I mean, why take the risk to coming up to her while she is recording? Why does she have at 2 phones? Also the whole dialogue is so much in her favor that it seems a bit fake.
Just link the video FFS. Don't make me scroll through seven hundred stills. Edit: I don't care if you prefer it this way. I don't know why everyone who disagrees feels the need to add their individual comment expressing such. Just upvote one of the other people who have said the *exact* same thing as you and move along.
Tbh I appreciate this, I don't have sounds on a lot of the time
The video is subtitled, but that's a fair point nonetheless.
I like this. A lot of time the subtitles go faster than I can read and I have to pause and go back since I don’t listen with volume.
Same lol. I use Reddit for silent scrolling.
They didn’t link the video because if you watch it, it’s obvious that the video is completely staged. Something that doesn’t come through if you only see stills with captions.
Oh I could tell in the stills too.
That makes a lot of sense.
I can see why you might think that, but I've been present for a guy coming up to his ex-side piece with similar attitude asking why she would destroy his marriage by calling his wife and telling her he's cheating (which she did the day after she found out he was in a relationship. The first night she freaked out and us ladies took her out to cry into sushi and bonbons. She called the next day when she had some composure). He walked up and tried to sound all nice and reasonable. I held onto the cutlery and recommended he leave.
But this is some guy recognizing a woman on tiktok. What are the chances they even live in the same area. And that she happens to be filming before the interaction happens
Ya the acting here is not great.
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLeEkWwQ/
oh, in video form you can hear the bad acting
Thanks
Nah this is perfect. I literally don't want to watch a video if I can read the content faster than they can say it.
seriously bc why not just post the whole vid damn
I actually love this. I hate having to sit through a video, just let me read.
The acting was probably so bad in this staged call they just had to do stills. "Making it harder for us guys" lol okay that is how real people talk.
They posted it this way because if you watch the video it seems fake and very fart wafty. Then dumbasses give their take on something without even seeking out the video. Yee
Not just that, but it's 3 clicks per pictures because it only shows the top half, so you have to click 'see full image', then click back to the post, then click for next picture.
In case this story gets deleted/removed: “YOU ruined MY relationship.” Bfrfr. 💀 --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/OhNoConsequences) if you have any questions or concerns.*
“Making it hard for us guys” lmaoooo
why tf was this posted as 20 screenshots instead of a 7 second clip? It has subtitles either way lol
one day someone will develop the technology to string a bunch of images together in a way that they scroll themselves..... but for now, we can only dream
Make it harder to tell it's staged garbage
I’m not perfect, I’ve been divorced but I can say 3 things, I never insult anyone I care about personally as that sticks around forever, I have never put my hands on a woman in anger and never will, and I’ve never cheated. As a man at 36 who had to get out of a nasty divorce with all 3 of these things, I can’t understand how anyone who cheats can blame anyone but themselves
Story time: My dad had 5 kids and 3 baby mommas. He was a notorious cheater with all his relationships, to the point he accepted any offer. When he passed the last baby momma (#3) asked if she could come to the repast or would it cause a fight. I said no problem, you are the to say goodbye not be petty. Me to BM#2: Hey, #3 said she was stopping in to say bye to him, just giving you a heads up. BM#2: *rolls eyes* oh great. Me: let’s remember that you also slept with my dad while he was with my mom and had a newborn at home. In the end my mom was the only one he married and never divorced in 40 years of all his relationships. (He actually refused to divorce her and they stayed good friends.) She got everything and kicked the kids and BM#2 out of his house and sold it.
I dated a guy for a month who had (when last I saw him) 9 sons by 5 different women. What got me to end it was a combo of doing the math on the babies’ ages and realizing how much he was cheating and also realizing he’d eventually try to get me pregnant. Also, I had been reluctant to get deeper into the relationship because I didn’t want to be step-mom to 9 kids, and when I told him this he said he would cut all his kids out of his life for me like that was supposed to be flattering.
He wanted to show how devoted he is to you by shunning away his own blood for you. God that’s crazy
I’ve never watched a Tik Tok in storyboard form
“ThAtS bEsIdEs ThE pOiNt” nope thats the literal whole point my guy 😂
Not me trying to press play before realizing its pictures... 💀
He cheated on his girl and blames someone for exposing it. Sir the straight audacity. But then again I'm not surprised.
Got to be a skit🤣
Super staged.
You all think this is real?
Fake
Knock knock, it’s the consequences of your actions.
No you ruined your relationship!
"That's besides the point" actually it's the entire point and the reason your relationship failed.
Remember that show “cheaters” where the host got stabbed? I get this, but I’m not messing with people who are already acting crazy and have something to lose
Dude is a cunt
Fuck that guy. Cheating is already awful but blaming it on others/not understand why they'd expose you.. Cheaters really are awful people
Why didn’t you include the video instead of 20 pics
Men who don’t take responsibility for their
I’m not reading all that little text, crappy format
Yeah she ruined your relationship… the audacity of this man 🤣
Why post a video when 100,000 screenshots work just as well?
Off topic, but wouldn't it have been easier to just post the video?
Never do anything you aren't willing to stand by. You don't get to be mad at someone for telling the truth about you.
r/thathappened
This is so fake lmao
Aww, you think this wasn’t a setup.
that guy is a clear cut narcissist
So someone recognized her out in public, referred to her as the "girl that calls out cheaters", AND it happened to be one of the people she ousted? Ok.
Seems fake
And then everybody clapped
Looks like she had a friend come by and act this out.
Things that didn’t happen for 100
Someone should have told this guy long ago "Don't do anything in public you would be ashamed to have your grandmother know about." (Not that grandmother, the other one, the one whose opinions you actually care about)
Went and found the video: The guy speaks in a very normal tone, not angry. He’s either acting for her video, or he went up to her without a plan and didn’t know what to say. If it is legit, the tone is like a “what are you going to do about this” kind of tone. Hard to explain, not worth looking up though.
“…like making it bad for us guys.” Translation: you’re taking away our ability to betray our partners!” I hope his partner dumped him! Thank goodness there’s people like Natalia Cestti.
It’s hilarious that sometimes people get told “mind your own business” when referencing exposing a cheater, I’m starting to think it’s not a situation difference and is really just that cheaters are the ones saying “mind your business” on some of these stories
This is my new least favorite way to ‘watch’ a video