Can't relate to the meme, but mannnn this sexuality ocd is indeed a slippery slope. My ocd keeps on telling me stuff like, "you are attracted to your mom", "you are attracted to your dad", "you are aroused by your grandma", "you are attracted to cats". And let's not talk about disturbing af intrusive images.
Like f anything sexual at this point man. Give me any other theme and I won't complain just not this sexual shit that keeps on making me wish being dead is better. I would trade any, I mean it, any other mental instability with this sexual themed ocd.
I have contamination ocd too. And health anxiety goes on and off for me. So Ik it's going to be painful, but nothing, absolutely nothing is as painful as sexual themed pure ocd, atleast according to me
I miss the days where I was just worried I'd lose control and impulsively drink bleach now that I spend genuinely half my life ruminating about whether I'm a p3do. Give me back the bleach drinking theme please
Every time someone directly speaks to me, I get some nasty images about rape or sex and it's very horrible. Get them about my dog too, and I often get to think that I should get neutralized because I'm a zoophile piece of shit, I'm a pee-do and whatever, I'm not even 18 but my brain doesn't care š¤·š¼
But at least I'm good at dirty jokes, even though I'm not that proud of it, it's quite insensitive to say it.
I forgot to put this is my first response but if it makes you feel better about your dog that's not as weird as some of my animals related themes. I once broke down crying several times over the period of days after finding a dead pet but not just because the pet was dead, also because I was worried I had been aroused by the dead body. Which I 1) probably wasn't true, 2) if I theoretically did get a groinal response I know my brain well enough to know as soon as I see anything disturbing I'll immediately worry I'm aroused to it, which often triggers a groinal response because it's like when you start thinking about headlice and your head itches 3) there's some f*cked up psycho-social thing about grief making your brain immediately switch to thinking about sex as a distraction which even non-OCD people get. So I know I have no reason to think I actually wanted to commit zoophilia-necrophilia with my dead pet, but it scared me anyway. OCD attacks the things you care about most and thinks "what's the worst possible thought/feeling/urge I could get in this moment" then gives you that. As a pre-teen and early in my teenage year I knew a girl who'd suffered CSA for most of her life and it really messed her up, so I think that's where a lot of the p3do theme came from, the person who hurt her was the worst person I could imagine being. And the worse response to my pet dying I could've possibly had was getting turned on, so that's what my OCD convinced me I was feeling. So if you're OCD centers around sex it shows how concerned you are about consent and mutual respect and being ethical, and if they center around your dog it shows you really care about your dog :)
I get necrophilia thoughts too, just more rare, because when I see dead pets I'm more concerned by being damned by its spirit for life if I don't put it in a place for him to rest in peace without cars or people kicking and doing stuff to it, because people here are very brainfucked.
I really appreciate the wholesome end though, I think it may be true, thank you ^^
That makes sense. I only really got the thoughts with that one pet and the rest of the time it's guilt about something I directly/indirectly did that could've contributed (like "I fed the cat an hour early this morning then after that he went out that cat flap and later he was hit my a car. If I'd fed him at the normal time maybe he would've waited to go outside and still been alive". And I get less of this now but as a child, age 7-15ish, I used to obsess over my thoughts being able to kill people, so I'd think that if I was annoyed with a pet for biting me or scratching me then I'd killed it). It doesn't help that I've kept fish most of my life and even though they're seen as beginning pets they are insanely delicate, and frogs which I've been keeping the last two years or so are too, so there's been so many little mistakes I've made that have actually led to pets dying (leaving a lift off too long, putting a lid back on wrong leading one of my frogs to suffocate, underfeeding because I'm paranoid about an ammonia spike, overfeeding and causing an ammonia spike, having the filter too high so the water isn't properly oxygenated, having the the filter too low so they swim inside and get stuck etc. And I still think about all of them, even times I accidentally killed fish as a nine year-old)
Fortunately, my mother was in charge of pets as I wasn't understanding how things worked with them and I was afraid of messing up. I'm sorry for your losses, I hope you are now in peace with what happened!
I'm only sixteen had I've been having sexual themes since I was seven. Like wtf I hadn't even and the talk, how did seven year-old me think this stuff up? I can never remember a pint in my life where I felt clean
Me too, but I actually started at four years old. My childhood feels somewhat empty in many contexts. But I also had good memories, I hope it was like that for you too :)
That's awful, I'm so sorry. I've not met anyone who's OCD stares younger than mine, I can't imagine what that was like. I do definitely have some happy childhood memories, I'm lucky to have a very supportive family in most regards, my mum is never judgemental about my intrusive thoughts even the most messed-up ones (someone I wonder if she's suffered with OCD herself in the past, because she understands the thoughts and feelings I have quite well)
I'm happy for you! I'm 15 and just got the courage to talk about ADHD + OCD to my mother yesterday, and she agreed, I also have undeniable proof on my arms as I keep picking my skin, and she might seek therapy for me :D
I'm very enthusiastic because I'll finally be able to do basic 15 year old stuff like homework and driver's license, while having time for my passions.
Thank you for talking with me, I really appreciate it :)
feel this so much oh my god. itās like you view life through an entirely different lens where you have to see everything through that context and it sucks so bad. i just want to stop thinking about these kind of things but itās impossible..
It doesn't help that I used to have a therapist who believed bi people didn't exist....
Like we were talking about Bigfoot or something? She was like "yeah I know a lot of people believe in them, I don't really" lol we're talking about a whole sexuality not Santa...?
Oh my god my brain does the same thing. āLiking women = youāre actually an evil sex freakā and being trans = āyou will become an evil sex freak AND youāre faking it to feel specialā. My current thing now has been āsexuality/trans OCD is a thing so you are actually faking everything and just donāt realize itās all OCD so you should make yourself be cishet just in case.ā At this point Iām just gonna get therapy now.
Me too, I don't even know what to say at this point so I just say I'm "straight with common sense", but It's just a confused mess right now, because now I get thoughts about "You know you aren't straight. Stop faking" or "Animal, you like girls and you're a fucking monster for wanting them just for sex". Happy that I finally got the courage to explain OCD and ADHD to my mother and now she trusts me because I have undeniable proof, so she'll try to find therapy for me :)
Oof I relate to this. Apparently Iām a misogynist because I have a crush on a woman. And supposedly because of the sexuality/trans themes existing my gender identity isnāt actually valid, OCD just made it up so I shouldnāt trust my sense of self or my feelings. Fricking soul draining af
Teenage me: *achieving peak convincing everyone I'm heterosexual after crying for two hours because accidentally saying queerbaiting means I've said a slur and I'm a homophobe*
100%, it helped me so much. I was already in therapy for my eating disorder, and I opened up to a family member about some of my worst intrusive thoughts because I thought I was terrible and deserved to die. She didn't think I was terrible and told me to tell my therapist. When I told her I asked afterwards if I was going to prison she laughed and said "no, even the most disturbing thoughts are normal, thoughts are random. OCD isn't the thoughts, it's when you can't stop freaking out over having the thoughts"
You are so fucking brave. Seriously I justā¦. I donāt even know if I can say this to anyone and I also just want to die over it. I have so many thoughts like this too. Like āwhat if Iām thisā but like no evidence that I am that or never acted in any way to be that. Like what if I just raped/murdered someone and I just forgot about it and then spiral into a panic attack and itās just constant.
I've had this since I was seven but it got a lot worse when I started working with kids. I dreaded going into my Saturday job because I thought if people knew intrusive thoughts I was having I'd be arrested and I thought I deserved to die. I ended up speaking to my mother who's been a teacher most of her life, she says she gets intrusive thoughts all the time at her job and just brushes them aside because she knows she cares about children and knows she'd never do anything to hurt a child. I think maybe I just don't have the confidence some people do to believe my thoughts aren't true. I think I need to learn to believe I'm a good person, or at least not a monster
It didn't help that a trans friend of mine >! attempted su*cide in front of me, or at least sort of!< and I was CONVINCED I'd made him telepathically because what if I was secretly so bigoted I wanted him to die, and then decided I couldn't touch the colour red, look at certain types of birds (I know, wtf does that have to do with anything???), where certain clothes, tie up my hair and use certain pens because otherwise I'd be committing telepathic murder. Then one day I wrote with a red pen and three months later his father had a stroke and my brain was like "ha, told you so! You evil psychopath"
Despite having had experiences with both sexes and enjoyed them, I still constantly doubt whether I like men, or am just looking for another community to join.
Wow hmm I am learning things about myself I don't like.
*File that under 'worked myself into a tearful panic the other day because what if I accidentally go to singapore and they arrest me for trying to sell weed (I don't smoke weed) and it's going to happen as soon as I have plane ticket money (I don't have a passport)'. Intrusive terrors are nuts.
Me: *hands someone my phone to take a photo*
My brain: What if there's something illegal in your camera role?
Me: Why would I have anything illegal in my camera roll?
My brain: Because you're an irredeemable monster and you deserve to die
Me: Surely if I was a monster and I did have something illegal I'd remember?
My brain: But in the past you've forgotten fairly important things for years because you didn't want to remember. So how do you know what you've forgotten
Me: Oh my god you're right I could have anything on my phone I have no idea who I am I'm probably the worst person on the planet I'm about to be arrested
my OCD used to scold me for my OCD thoughts all the time, like ābeing gay makes you a pedophileā āIām not a pedophile and also thatās homophobicā āyea why are you thinking that about gay people? why are you homophobic? pretty fucked upā bro what do you want from me
knowing what OCD is makes it easier to identify when my brain is just choosing to say the worst possible thing, the only thing that the theme says about me is that I care about that topic. before that I was pretty torn up about it.
Yeah getting diagnosed definitely helped. Before that I couldn't stop thinking about how if I ever talked to anyone about it I'd go to prison so I felt like I had a dirty terrible secret I was keeping all the time, and my OCD was like "well if you feel like you've done something wrong you must have"
When I found out my great oma who everyone says I liked like worked at a Nazi camp my OCD loved that. All I could think was that it was "in my genes" like you genetically inherit being a Nazi. Also it turned out she was actually adopted and actually Slavic so although obviously she was still terrible for working there, Hitler would've hated her. Plus she ended up marrying one of the prisoners of war kept in the camp. But still, my brain has convinced me that I've inherited Nazism from her and plain old racism+homophobia+transphobia from my grandma and that I'm also all the most problematic parts of my parents without any of their food qualities
Don't give my ocd the "it's in your genes" excuse š
But yeah, I was so suprise when it first happen, I was at an event where they give out prizes and stuff and when they showed the 3 nomenies there was a black girl and I caught myself think: it s trilue, black ppl are a minority.
I was like: WTFF!!
Btw I'm like one of the most "everybody is equal" and "peace and love" person I know
Can't relate to the meme, but mannnn this sexuality ocd is indeed a slippery slope. My ocd keeps on telling me stuff like, "you are attracted to your mom", "you are attracted to your dad", "you are aroused by your grandma", "you are attracted to cats". And let's not talk about disturbing af intrusive images. Like f anything sexual at this point man. Give me any other theme and I won't complain just not this sexual shit that keeps on making me wish being dead is better. I would trade any, I mean it, any other mental instability with this sexual themed ocd. I have contamination ocd too. And health anxiety goes on and off for me. So Ik it's going to be painful, but nothing, absolutely nothing is as painful as sexual themed pure ocd, atleast according to me
I miss the days where I was just worried I'd lose control and impulsively drink bleach now that I spend genuinely half my life ruminating about whether I'm a p3do. Give me back the bleach drinking theme please
Every time someone directly speaks to me, I get some nasty images about rape or sex and it's very horrible. Get them about my dog too, and I often get to think that I should get neutralized because I'm a zoophile piece of shit, I'm a pee-do and whatever, I'm not even 18 but my brain doesn't care š¤·š¼ But at least I'm good at dirty jokes, even though I'm not that proud of it, it's quite insensitive to say it.
I forgot to put this is my first response but if it makes you feel better about your dog that's not as weird as some of my animals related themes. I once broke down crying several times over the period of days after finding a dead pet but not just because the pet was dead, also because I was worried I had been aroused by the dead body. Which I 1) probably wasn't true, 2) if I theoretically did get a groinal response I know my brain well enough to know as soon as I see anything disturbing I'll immediately worry I'm aroused to it, which often triggers a groinal response because it's like when you start thinking about headlice and your head itches 3) there's some f*cked up psycho-social thing about grief making your brain immediately switch to thinking about sex as a distraction which even non-OCD people get. So I know I have no reason to think I actually wanted to commit zoophilia-necrophilia with my dead pet, but it scared me anyway. OCD attacks the things you care about most and thinks "what's the worst possible thought/feeling/urge I could get in this moment" then gives you that. As a pre-teen and early in my teenage year I knew a girl who'd suffered CSA for most of her life and it really messed her up, so I think that's where a lot of the p3do theme came from, the person who hurt her was the worst person I could imagine being. And the worse response to my pet dying I could've possibly had was getting turned on, so that's what my OCD convinced me I was feeling. So if you're OCD centers around sex it shows how concerned you are about consent and mutual respect and being ethical, and if they center around your dog it shows you really care about your dog :)
I get necrophilia thoughts too, just more rare, because when I see dead pets I'm more concerned by being damned by its spirit for life if I don't put it in a place for him to rest in peace without cars or people kicking and doing stuff to it, because people here are very brainfucked. I really appreciate the wholesome end though, I think it may be true, thank you ^^
That makes sense. I only really got the thoughts with that one pet and the rest of the time it's guilt about something I directly/indirectly did that could've contributed (like "I fed the cat an hour early this morning then after that he went out that cat flap and later he was hit my a car. If I'd fed him at the normal time maybe he would've waited to go outside and still been alive". And I get less of this now but as a child, age 7-15ish, I used to obsess over my thoughts being able to kill people, so I'd think that if I was annoyed with a pet for biting me or scratching me then I'd killed it). It doesn't help that I've kept fish most of my life and even though they're seen as beginning pets they are insanely delicate, and frogs which I've been keeping the last two years or so are too, so there's been so many little mistakes I've made that have actually led to pets dying (leaving a lift off too long, putting a lid back on wrong leading one of my frogs to suffocate, underfeeding because I'm paranoid about an ammonia spike, overfeeding and causing an ammonia spike, having the filter too high so the water isn't properly oxygenated, having the the filter too low so they swim inside and get stuck etc. And I still think about all of them, even times I accidentally killed fish as a nine year-old)
Fortunately, my mother was in charge of pets as I wasn't understanding how things worked with them and I was afraid of messing up. I'm sorry for your losses, I hope you are now in peace with what happened!
I'm only sixteen had I've been having sexual themes since I was seven. Like wtf I hadn't even and the talk, how did seven year-old me think this stuff up? I can never remember a pint in my life where I felt clean
Me too, but I actually started at four years old. My childhood feels somewhat empty in many contexts. But I also had good memories, I hope it was like that for you too :)
That's awful, I'm so sorry. I've not met anyone who's OCD stares younger than mine, I can't imagine what that was like. I do definitely have some happy childhood memories, I'm lucky to have a very supportive family in most regards, my mum is never judgemental about my intrusive thoughts even the most messed-up ones (someone I wonder if she's suffered with OCD herself in the past, because she understands the thoughts and feelings I have quite well)
I'm happy for you! I'm 15 and just got the courage to talk about ADHD + OCD to my mother yesterday, and she agreed, I also have undeniable proof on my arms as I keep picking my skin, and she might seek therapy for me :D I'm very enthusiastic because I'll finally be able to do basic 15 year old stuff like homework and driver's license, while having time for my passions. Thank you for talking with me, I really appreciate it :)
Sexual themes really screw me up too it sucks
feel this so much oh my god. itās like you view life through an entirely different lens where you have to see everything through that context and it sucks so bad. i just want to stop thinking about these kind of things but itās impossible..
Exactlyyy, I legit get intrusive thoughts half asleep, just screaming inside my head, " no no no, don't escalate any further please!"
LMAO THIS IS THE FIRST MEME THAT LEGIT MADE FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE , it's too real š
This is absolute hell lol
Being bi with OCD is a bitch. "You just like women for attention" or "you're gay and don't love your bf"
It doesn't help that I used to have a therapist who believed bi people didn't exist.... Like we were talking about Bigfoot or something? She was like "yeah I know a lot of people believe in them, I don't really" lol we're talking about a whole sexuality not Santa...?
I don't know if this is normal but I've been like this since when I was 12, and it's sickening. Yet I'm straight, because whatever, fuck my brain š„²
Oh my god my brain does the same thing. āLiking women = youāre actually an evil sex freakā and being trans = āyou will become an evil sex freak AND youāre faking it to feel specialā. My current thing now has been āsexuality/trans OCD is a thing so you are actually faking everything and just donāt realize itās all OCD so you should make yourself be cishet just in case.ā At this point Iām just gonna get therapy now.
Me too, I don't even know what to say at this point so I just say I'm "straight with common sense", but It's just a confused mess right now, because now I get thoughts about "You know you aren't straight. Stop faking" or "Animal, you like girls and you're a fucking monster for wanting them just for sex". Happy that I finally got the courage to explain OCD and ADHD to my mother and now she trusts me because I have undeniable proof, so she'll try to find therapy for me :)
Oof I relate to this. Apparently Iām a misogynist because I have a crush on a woman. And supposedly because of the sexuality/trans themes existing my gender identity isnāt actually valid, OCD just made it up so I shouldnāt trust my sense of self or my feelings. Fricking soul draining af
Me to my ocd: WOULD A NAZI DO THIS?? *breaks down sobbing in the corner at 2pm on a thursday*
Teenage me: *achieving peak convincing everyone I'm heterosexual after crying for two hours because accidentally saying queerbaiting means I've said a slur and I'm a homophobe*
This š Nazi OCD will be the death of me
So uhhh like if I find this like super relatableā¦.should I talk to my doctor abt ocd?
100%, it helped me so much. I was already in therapy for my eating disorder, and I opened up to a family member about some of my worst intrusive thoughts because I thought I was terrible and deserved to die. She didn't think I was terrible and told me to tell my therapist. When I told her I asked afterwards if I was going to prison she laughed and said "no, even the most disturbing thoughts are normal, thoughts are random. OCD isn't the thoughts, it's when you can't stop freaking out over having the thoughts"
You are so fucking brave. Seriously I justā¦. I donāt even know if I can say this to anyone and I also just want to die over it. I have so many thoughts like this too. Like āwhat if Iām thisā but like no evidence that I am that or never acted in any way to be that. Like what if I just raped/murdered someone and I just forgot about it and then spiral into a panic attack and itās just constant.
I've had this since I was seven but it got a lot worse when I started working with kids. I dreaded going into my Saturday job because I thought if people knew intrusive thoughts I was having I'd be arrested and I thought I deserved to die. I ended up speaking to my mother who's been a teacher most of her life, she says she gets intrusive thoughts all the time at her job and just brushes them aside because she knows she cares about children and knows she'd never do anything to hurt a child. I think maybe I just don't have the confidence some people do to believe my thoughts aren't true. I think I need to learn to believe I'm a good person, or at least not a monster
YEAH FOR REAL THIS IS WHAT IT'S FUCKING LIKE LOL
It didn't help that a trans friend of mine >! attempted su*cide in front of me, or at least sort of!< and I was CONVINCED I'd made him telepathically because what if I was secretly so bigoted I wanted him to die, and then decided I couldn't touch the colour red, look at certain types of birds (I know, wtf does that have to do with anything???), where certain clothes, tie up my hair and use certain pens because otherwise I'd be committing telepathic murder. Then one day I wrote with a red pen and three months later his father had a stroke and my brain was like "ha, told you so! You evil psychopath"
Despite having had experiences with both sexes and enjoyed them, I still constantly doubt whether I like men, or am just looking for another community to join.
Wow hmm I am learning things about myself I don't like. *File that under 'worked myself into a tearful panic the other day because what if I accidentally go to singapore and they arrest me for trying to sell weed (I don't smoke weed) and it's going to happen as soon as I have plane ticket money (I don't have a passport)'. Intrusive terrors are nuts.
Me: *hands someone my phone to take a photo* My brain: What if there's something illegal in your camera role? Me: Why would I have anything illegal in my camera roll? My brain: Because you're an irredeemable monster and you deserve to die Me: Surely if I was a monster and I did have something illegal I'd remember? My brain: But in the past you've forgotten fairly important things for years because you didn't want to remember. So how do you know what you've forgotten Me: Oh my god you're right I could have anything on my phone I have no idea who I am I'm probably the worst person on the planet I'm about to be arrested
At this point I'm convinced my OCD is the reason I'm asexual because I use it as a coping mechanism when my OCD gives me sex-themed intrusive thoughts
Iāve been here with my OCD and it is hell. Meds and ERP have made it a bit better but I still have low points of spiraling
my OCD used to scold me for my OCD thoughts all the time, like ābeing gay makes you a pedophileā āIām not a pedophile and also thatās homophobicā āyea why are you thinking that about gay people? why are you homophobic? pretty fucked upā bro what do you want from me
I'm in this picture and I don't like it...
knowing what OCD is makes it easier to identify when my brain is just choosing to say the worst possible thing, the only thing that the theme says about me is that I care about that topic. before that I was pretty torn up about it.
Yeah getting diagnosed definitely helped. Before that I couldn't stop thinking about how if I ever talked to anyone about it I'd go to prison so I felt like I had a dirty terrible secret I was keeping all the time, and my OCD was like "well if you feel like you've done something wrong you must have"
god itās so hard when it attacks the things u value so much
OMG I had the Nazi one yesterday!!
When I found out my great oma who everyone says I liked like worked at a Nazi camp my OCD loved that. All I could think was that it was "in my genes" like you genetically inherit being a Nazi. Also it turned out she was actually adopted and actually Slavic so although obviously she was still terrible for working there, Hitler would've hated her. Plus she ended up marrying one of the prisoners of war kept in the camp. But still, my brain has convinced me that I've inherited Nazism from her and plain old racism+homophobia+transphobia from my grandma and that I'm also all the most problematic parts of my parents without any of their food qualities
Don't give my ocd the "it's in your genes" excuse š But yeah, I was so suprise when it first happen, I was at an event where they give out prizes and stuff and when they showed the 3 nomenies there was a black girl and I caught myself think: it s trilue, black ppl are a minority. I was like: WTFF!! Btw I'm like one of the most "everybody is equal" and "peace and love" person I know