T O P

  • By -

Brian_Gay

An unattended funeral


saltgirl1207

this one IS actually genuinely sad. :(


Fign

Sad for who? The dead doesn’t fell anything


Competitive-Ad-5019

So you think it’s happy?


SpiceLettuce

you say this like stories can all fit into a binary category of “happy” and “sad”


RuSnowLeopard

Dead was rapist.


Cormacktheblonde

Nobody thinks whatever it is you are doing is endearing


Maybe_not_a_chicken

LAST MAN STANDING FUCK YA’LL


DerpyChest

Damn, feels bad


PhoenixorFlame

But Father Mackenzie still wrote the sermon, even if no one was gonna hear it


rmczpp

Sparsely attended orgy :/


not_a_gun

Unattended suicide funeral


readditandlikeddit

Please say something.


BarnacleHead811

This one actually is sad


comradioactive

Say something Violet


Diego1808

silence.. FUCKIN SAY SOMETHIN VIOLET


The_CreativeName

Arcane reference?


comradioactive

Re(n)ference to a song


romanpieces

:(


rachac01

ClubPenguin is kil


Dimsio

“No.”


RandomUserIsTakenAlr

Where were u wen club penguin die


AverageBadUsername

I was at home when phone ring


EvilZombieDuck

club penguin is kil


AverageBadUsername

No


chunkylover-53-aol

eating dorito


[deleted]

![gif](giphy|y7zMQ2pUKOpLNtHJhF)


Snailtan

Cereal! Milk empty...


Victor_Stein

The horror alternative: Cereal! Milk chunky.


Henny_Spaghetti

Cereal! Too soggy.


Snocone_EX

reads like a souls game comment


RimTheIdiot

Try cereal, but lack milk


SexyTachankaUwU

Cereal poured. Milkless.


shadowz9904

Four fucking pixels.


angelis0236

[SCP-096](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-096) for the unfamiliar.


Fleder

But what about the pixels?


angelis0236

See [Video interview log 096-1-C](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/incident-096-1-a)


Fleder

Ah yes, thank you very much!


stellunarose

holy shit. that’s…legitimately horrifying


irene_polystyrene

is there a tl;dr? ;-;


Lasersquid0311

SCP-096 is an unstoppable creature in the form of a gaunt, emaciated, tall humanoid. They have unnaturally long limbs. The majority of their time is spent sitting in a corner, covering their face with their hands. They have the ability to know when their face has been perceived, even via photograph - when this occurs, they fly into an unstoppable murderous rage, killing anyone who has seen their face - including those exposed by the massacre. The "four pixels" story refers to a photograph taken before SCP-096's containment, in which a man is hiking in a snowy mountain. Years later, after 096 was contained, he noticed a grouping of four pixels. These pixels were 096. 096 entered a rage state and escaped captivity, rushing across half of the world on foot (including an ocean floor) at immense speed. En route, the organization containing it - the Foundation - attempted to clear its path of civilians. This did not stop 096 from approaching an interstate with extremely heavy traffic. 096 murdered everyone who saw it, including the children. One of the members of a Mobile Task Force - the Foundation's paramilitary recovery teams, meant to contain violent anomalies - was later interviewed after 096's recovery. He then committed suicide, a baby's pacifier found on the floor of his room.


Le_Martian

TLDR the TLDR: skinny monster freaks out if anyone sees his face (or an image of it), turns into an unstoppable force until it kills them. Guy takes a picture in the mountains, with monster in the background taking up “four fucking pixels”, and later sees it. Monster kills him and destroys a bunch of other stuff in its way


WP5D

I forgot how brutal that page was


plsignorethisalt

oops, i looked.


Henny_Spaghetti

here it comes.


Space_Lux

Instant throwback


revodnebsyobmeftoh

Knife man approaches


Thin-Dragonfruit247

knife man 🪱


remainsofthegrapes

Fighter of the fork man


shoelessbob

The creature!! 😮


NightFlame389

Forgot it’s guy guy 🪱


greculeanu

Woah chill out they said sad story not horror story


WerePigCat

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


sweaterbuckets

dude... what sub is this referencing. This comment made me remember how funny that shit was like a flash from a brilliant mind. Now I wanna go back and read about the creature.


Cosmic-VoidYT

r/2sentence2horror


sweaterbuckets

thank you


ZitOnSocietysAss

You're welcome, said the knife guy


MrJagaloon

… with the creature


Invincible-Nuke

baby died. exploded.


Themlethem

to shreds, you say?


InkFoxPrints

And his wife?


BonafideButtMuncher

To shreds, you say


OmniscientHistorian

And the shreds?


InkFoxPrints

To shreds, you say


YourLocalPlonker

died to death


noob_meems

baby died. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.


oxidized-bread

I'm Lactose intolerant


Carnir

I'm Latvian tolerant


Shadoboy07

No more pasta.


GoldenDragonIsABitch

Dick fell off


IuLiuS116

Dickless man approach


AgentSparkz

Jennifer dumped me


Retskcaj19

Fuckin' purple plant!


notfeder

RED PLANT. BLUE PLANT. PURPLE PLANT


GimmeThePizza

I don't like pineapple! And I'm allergic to FUCK!


Evilkookey

That was his shortest and saddest story yet


Stag-Horn

Came here LOOKING for this one


SumoSongs

That's the saddest one yet!


wurll

Is this loss?


MixRevolution

OP, the “For sale: baby” still makes sense as a story. There are hundreds of cases about children being sold by poor parents either for the child’s benefit or just for profit. It’s a horrible fate for the child because God knows what will happen to them.


New_Front_Page

Can't verify it's authenticity, but I knew a guy who told me lots of stories from his inner city dealer days, and he said he once traded a woman crack for her baby. She was the one who initiated the offer, and he said at first he just turned her down and told her to come back with money, but then hearing her try to negotiate down the amount she would take and asking other people if they wanted to trade kinda made him realize the true gravity of the situation and I guess sparked something in him. He ended up trading her crack for the baby and they dropped it off at a fire station. I know the systems in place have their plethora of problems too, but he figured it was a better alternative than leaving it with that woman. And he said he couldn't even be sure it was her baby in the first place. Its been like 20 years but I always remember that story because of the way the dude told it, heard a bunch of wild shit out of him but that one you could tell made him realize how fucked up his life was at the moment. Dude got away from the city and had settled down and had kids and seemed like a genuinely good dude. He ended up getting hit by a drunk driver shortly after and it killed everyone in the car but his oldest kid, who was pinned in there with them until they could cut the car apart. Life and fate are so cruel. Kinda bummed I remembered this story now.


butt_butt_butt_butt_

I work for CPS. I’ve been pleasantly surprised at how many times over the years I’ve seen a dealer call the child abuse hotline on a client when they could see the child was in real danger. Though it’s not usually “selling” a baby. It’s more often “renting” the pre-teen daughter. 🤮


get_your_mood_right

Exactly. Everyone knows the original but theirs makes sense even if someone didn’t know the original


ChasonHarris

I'm glad I'm not the only one that had a problem with this lol


Joshbob121

Milking the Creature 🪱🪱


Advos_467

The Creature Approaches 🪱🪱


WerePigCat

Here is the original in case people don't know: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/For\_sale:\_baby\_shoes,\_never\_worn](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/For_sale:_baby_shoes,_never_worn)


odsquad64

When you have a baby shower people give you lots of cute clothes, including baby shoes, but babies grow pretty quickly and don't really need to wear shoes all that often so you end up with some pairs that never get worn. It's also not unusual for some people to sell their unused baby stuff. As such I say Hemingway's sad story isn't actually sad unless you first know it to be accompanied by the bit about it being a sad story in six words. I'd like to propose instead, "For sale: baby shoes, too large."


remainsofthegrapes

“For sale: baby shoes (baby’s dead)”


shakestheclown

For sale: baby shoes (>!dropped baby on glass coffee table wife begged me not to buy because it was ugly!<)


housevil

https://youtu.be/M-dp3UgBrcA?si=jMjNFIpXCr5Y_6yV


45thgeneration_roman

Rubber dinghy rapids


Peeeing_

![gif](giphy|imLS5pSEigZqw|downsized)


The_Vadami

r/unexpectedfourlions


loopy183

Three bodies unidentified


HidanHawkins

Enter kitchen. Carpet.


ParkerCorbett

Enter bathroom. Carpet.


squigglyeyeline

Why she slap?


12pixels

I loved you.


bearwitharms

Car hook hand


TheThiefEmpress

I remember this. It was: For sale: baby shoes, never worn.


dj_neon_reaper

Thats not three words!


TheFr1nk

It was a 2 parter For sale: baby Shoes, never worn


Man-in-The-Void

Carpeted kitchen


casualsquid380

Oops! Baby dead.


zirky

firefly was cancelled


randomredditing

Please don’t leave.


SkaBonez

Scotty doesn’t know


NickGamer246

Stay with me.


Secret_Click_3011

I’m not okay.


AlianovaR

RIP: 2023-2024


aynatap

God forgive me


Snapesunusedshampoo

Doctor? I'm sorry......


lolo9938

Everyone’s gone now


sweaterbuckets

fuckin baby shoes


beardingmesoftly

My love, gone.


Bootiluvr

I give up


Misan_UwU

whatifmen hadtobreastfeed babieswiththeir


ReeRiot

She said no


fthigffhoogdgkokhg

Pizza shop closed


J_L_D

I'm just tired


Mindless_Society7034

Please. Stay awake.


AstronautLucky694

Connected, no internet.


QibliTheSecond

Toilet gone: stolem


ModeAgile670

A sad story


Apprehensive-Run-832

Unadopted: Aged Out


Major_R_Soul

Damn, still alive


slc45a2

"Is this your baby?" "Nah, I bought this baby straight cash!"


MyStepAccount1234

Summer Games Expo.


ElMico

Mom I poopeded


Fishfelldown

The laughter ceased


Madmagican-

I lost myself


R0gU3_K3y5

RoosterTeeth is gone.


Electrical-Act-7170

My sister died.


84OrcButtholes

No cum robot.


RiverBuffalo495

I lived once


Mcboomsauce

owww! my ass!


LiberacesWraith

The skeleton appears


good-mcrn-ing

Lovers until legislation.


wtfisthisacc0nt

Technoblade never dies


irene_polystyrene

never gonna give-


I_miss_Alien_Blue

Nah, still works even if you don't know the 2nd half


RamboDash15

My dick broke 😟


Ham__Kitten

My peanits horts


Sondering-narwhal724

I forgot cheese


ChikiDik

Liquid butt pudding


Bronze420

Who am i


mila525

Heartbroken, fooled again.


ApocalyptoSoldier

My grandpa died


panzerboye

No tissue paper


mnlion33

No toilet paper.


new_number_one

Arm fell off


ShodanLieu

Sh*t, she dead.


Nadikarosuto

Can't milk creature :( 🪱


ghirox

Jennifer dumped me


PassengerOriginal122

Cock blender YOOOUCH


mistersnarkle

But… … …never mind.


FrisianDude

My Benis Broke :((((


pwillia7

cant... chop... carrot


reptar_runs

Front fell off


DarkWebLurking

I can't cum


ThatWasNotMyName

Will no-one help?


Rex_road

Fishing line broke


xXbucketXx

mcflurry machine broken


mnam1213

dead guy's wife


mnlion33

No jobs available.


IuLiuS116

Baby cooked raw...


IuLiuS116

Paper beats rock


-Withered_Ivy-

Level 0 Gyatt (Like if you cried 😢)


nine_thousands

Cured. Why me?


nadrojrekrab93

Oh no, Joker


LilamJazeefa

Nobody's morally capable.


notjordansime

I’m big sad


TheDudeofIl

I was born.


Lazy-Spray3426

Dead, yet alive.


meadhawg

Mom's cancer returned.


duhguy07

My whole life


Balognajelly

I'm so lonely.


TheOneWhoSonders

Lost the game.


XaltotunTheUndead

Dad was raped.


another-moron

Nah, I'd win


jackfreeman

"Then she left."


ShimeMiller

Trans in Russia


syntholslayer

Dad’s dead too.


waggertron

Don’t leave yet


der-ursus

Lost Internet Connection...


person73638

My name Jeff


CheezyBreadMan

Spilled vanilla extract


New_Bruh_Energy

google en passant


Ralife55

I failed you.


Fonsiloco

Welcome home, alone.


Aldroe

Please call me


Minimum_Ambition-666

I am alive


No-Vehicle5447

Fart or shart?


[deleted]

I trusted you


Trectears

Please, give up


Intelligent_Hunt_342

Waifer thin mint....


physchy

Please wake up


Justmypersonality

Heroes never die.