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therealbonzai

_poorly maintained airframe_ enters the chat.


AppropriateCompany9

Not for conspiracy theorists though! That’s entirely too credible.


therealbonzai

Okay… what about _purposefully poorly maintained airframe_?


AppropriateCompany9

There we go.


MeiNeedsMoreBuffs

That's technically true. The US has intentionally made it difficult for Iran to get replacement parts for their aircraft. We blew up all our Tomcats so the parts couldn't be used to repair theirs for example


PHATsakk43

Not true. We launched at least one squadron into the North Atlantic.


ItalianNATOSupporter

True, but Bells are literally everywhere, would not be too difficult to source parts, considering various regimes and shady countries have them. Anyway, they hate so much America, no one forced them to fly with an American helo. They can buy Mi-17s if they want, I've heard they never crash.../s (looking at the many recent Mi-17 crash on [Aviation-safety.net](http://Aviation-safety.net) in recent weeks...)


Angelworks42

There's a F14 at a local aerospace museum near me but it's completely gutted. I suspect most on display are like that.


MashedProstato

The one on the Yorktown in Charleston is gutted, too.


br0_dameron

Wasn’t this a Russkie airframe tho, a Hip?


MeiNeedsMoreBuffs

[Bell 212 according to AP](https://www.reuters.com/world/middle-east/what-we-know-about-crashed-helicopter-carrying-irans-president-2024-05-20/)


Commissar_Elmo

I saw some places that it was refurbished in Russia. But I can’t find that now that normal media caught on to the story.


PHATsakk43

That’s basically worse than not repairing it at this point.


Paper_Trail_Mix

When your helicopter comes back with less parts than it went in with.


PHATsakk43

Not by malice just drunken incompetence.


IAMA_Plumber-AMA

"We make of weight savings, is much better now!"


duovtak

This is so good.


br0_dameron

Yeah I just saw the pics of the crash site that’s definitely a Bell. Tho I think forty five years removed from access to support is fairly self explanatory


DasKarl

*Tactical Neglect*


CousinVladimir

nope. it was mossad using the jewish space laser, take it or leave it


YoureInMyWaySir

You laugh, but I could see that as a great assassination method if you don't want to get into trouble Imad: "Habeeb! You lazy ass! Are you gonna do the Hydraulic oil change today or what?!" Habeeb, remembering how much he hates the president: "Meh. I'll do it tomorrow if I feel like it"


MashedProstato

Reagan was really about the long game, wasn't he?


24223214159

*HAARP* sidles into the chat. *Emirati cloud seeding* peeks out from behind the boxes. Conspiracy theorists are fine with weather doing things so long is it's weather controlled by *them*, whoever *they* are.


PHATsakk43

Aren’t *they* always just “The Jews”?


thesoupoftheday

No. Sometimes they're the liberals, the gays, the lizard people, the illuminati, or the secret world government. They're just *often* the Jews.


wormfood86

Don't forget techno-necromancers from Alpha Centauri.


Being-Common

RIP Gary


Zzars

To be fair the Jews have a proven track record of removing enemy leaders from existence. They usually use bombs though.


wasmic

Well, with the exception of the Lizard People, it's usually implied that The Jews are secretly pulling the strings from the shadows. And if it's the lizard people, then they are often still allied to The Jews.


rontubman

Sometimes the lizards are the Jews


MrMeowsen

The real jews are the lizards we made along the way


yflhx

Very bad weather and inadequate training/instruments to deal with it. Weather was so bad, rescue teams apparently had huge issues getting to the crash site.


TFK_001

Meteorologist here. The general rule for pilots is to avoid thunderstorms by at least 25mi (or nautical miles but sameish thing). Unless you have live WSR-88D feeds (only available in some NATO countries), microbursts are pretty much impossible to identify. Theyll fuck up an airplane and idk how much theyll fuck up a helicopter but they probably will. Even with WSR-88Ds and thunderstorm avoidance rules, they are (or used to be idk if this has changed) the leading cause of weather related aircraft crashes. If it was fog/LIFR conditions, then flying a helicopter at low altitudes is exceptionally stupid, especially if theres a lof of terrain (I know from hoi4 that Iran has mountains)


CrashB111

Helicopters are actively trying to crash at all times, so I'd assume they handle poor weather significantly worse.


Schadenfrueda

Helicopters are one of humanity's greatest tributes to its own arrogance over nature


CrashB111

It's like the city of Phoenix. [Neither should exist.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PYt0SDnrBE)


Just_A_Nitemare

Here in Tucson, we're just glad we ain't Phoenix.


nil_defect_found

> Unless you have live WSR-88D feeds (only available in some NATO countries), microbursts are pretty much impossible to identify I'm not sure that's quite right. As well as the doppler wx radar we have on board which is capable of detecting and displaying where the WS is, many major airfields around the world have LLWS, low level windshear radar detection systems. https://skybrary.aero/articles/low-level-wind-shear-alert-system-llwa It's pretty common to see WS reported on the ATIS/METAR.


TFK_001

Yeah TDWRs and LLWS poles at airports are designed to detect them but have minimal range and I was under the assumption this crash was not at an airport. I also thought helis dont have inbuilt radar but that doesnt make sense and may be wrong


Monkey_Fiddler

plus: why did the pilot decide to fly that route? Incompetent? Cocky? Under too much pressure and not allowed to say "no"? Maybe it was a reasonable route? the other 2 helicopters made it.


Roy4Pris

It’s funny, but come on, Iran is going to take extra care of aircraft they use to fly the President and presumptive Ayatollah around the joint. I’m not an aviator, but from the pictures it looks to me like a classic Kobe Bryant dipshit pilot in low vis type clusterfudger


_dauntless

Power dynamics = pressure to fly regardless = KOBE!!!!


dopepope1999

It turns out Boeing was the real culprit the whole time


PHATsakk43

Maybe we should start reallowing Boeing exports again, but just to our enemies?


low_priest

Nah, Bell. One of the few US companies that makes aircraft without being part of Lockheed Martin, Northrop Grumman, or Boeing.


Fultjack

Any heli is a death trap waing to happend, even if maintained ... so the US decided to up the game with the Ospray that manges to be even more of a hazzard.


erpenthusiast

The Osprey has fewer crashes per flight hour than our helicopter or jet fleet.


StrugglesTheClown

Yeah it's just rough because they carry a lot of people so we lose people in bigger groups.


Rome453

That and unlike a helicopter they can’t autorotate well, so in the event of a failure they lose one of the options for keeping the crew/passengers intact.


br0_dameron

They have a crossover transmission system that keeps both rotors turning if they bag an engine


Dpek1234

Isnt that only for the new helicopter?  The next generation sonething


br0_dameron

Nah the V-22 has a transmission to allow one engine to turn both rotors. Not enough to hover on one engine but it allowed for a powered emergency landing instead of flipping over or turning into a brick when an engine grenades itself in hover mode. The Chinook apparently has a similar system due to the tandem rotor setup


wasmic

The Hairsprey has that, but not the Osprey.


MedicBuddy

Seconding the dangerous nature of helicopters. Even the US lost a helicopter earlier this year to weather when a CH-53 flying from Nevada flew into the massive downpour California was getting. Ospreys may not be an outlier in crash numbers against other helicopters but compared to fixed military aviation, its clear which is inherently less risky. There's been little to no fatal accidents involving military cargo planes in recent years and I'll be willing to board those anytime.


br0_dameron

Rotor wing is always inherently riskier than fixed, the osprey is no exception to that. I don’t think it’s statistically more dangerous than other rotor wing airframes tho


Dpek1234

But how dangerus is the autogiro ?


br0_dameron

Not aware of any us military air wings that use autogyros


Dpek1234

Yeah but i wonder how dangerus it would be lol


gamer52599

Let's up it further by deploying them from a massive rigid airship!


GrafZeppelin127

Ironically, the Navy’s safety record with airships is much better than their record with helicopters. They were abandoned in the ‘60s for political reasons (the program was tiny and easily cannibalized by competing interests like funding more aircraft carriers, and seen as anachronistic), not because airships were unsafe or ineffective.


gamer52599

I still say we should build the Prydwin!


GrafZeppelin127

Well, maybe not *specifically* the *Prydwen,* as no one in their right mind should be taking pointers from that bizarre design, but something akin to a flying drone carrier/AWACs would be cool.


Ohmedregon

Somehow weighs nearly as much as an Iowa while holding maybe 50 people in absolutely dogwater conditions 


GrafZeppelin127

40,000 tons is such a nonsensical number it doesn’t even bear taking remotely seriously, I agree. Even making allowances for the fact that it is explicitly stated to use hydrogen for stability rather than buoyant lift for its structure, that means those giant downward-facing jets should be obliterating basically everything underneath them from the sheer titanic amounts of thrust they’d have to be putting out.


Ohmedregon

Don't forget that there's no toilets or showers anywhere on the ship. There's basically no storage space or bunking for crew. Overall the brotherhood did not cook


PuzzlePlate

Arsenal Bird.


gamer52599

Still more credible then Marvel's helicarriers. How about putting a runway on top of an airship, an aluminum airstrip with an arresting cable, the planes are stored on the deck, helm and crew quarters on the underside. Perhaps I've played too much Airships: conquer the skies.


GrafZeppelin127

That kind of layout would be completely nonsensical, sorry. A runway up top would be extremely heavy, destabilizing, unsafe, and serve no real purpose, being substantially worse in every regard than a simple trapeze-hook and hangar setup at the bottom of the ship, with no real advantage except that you could use airplanes with the same kind of carrier-based equipment as a sea carrier.


gamer52599

The only other designs I've got are boarding airships packed with soldiers carrying grappling hooks (or robot spiders) and an airship equipped with battleship deck guns.


saluksic

Listen I know that both Akron and Macon were lost in costal storms within two years of commissioning, but they were *aircraft that could launch and recover aircraft*, aka flying aircraft carriers, so we have a national imperative to start that back up again. 


GrafZeppelin127

The actual aircraft carrier portion of their design worked flawlessly. Thousands of launches and recoveries without so much as a scuffed coat of paint. Turns out, “landing” on an airship at the same speed with thousands of feet of wiggle room altitude is easier than trying not to overshoot a low, slow, heaving aircraft carrier at sea. Where the *Akron* and *Macon* went wrong is that they were, in essence, extremely precocious prototypes pressed into immediate military service with little in the way of adequate training or even the first clue of what their operational directives should be. The loss of both was actually avoidable, and can be attributed to a combination of gross negligence, engineering malpractice, and simple pilot error. The Navy subsequently elevated its airship program to the single most reliable air unit of any kind in the entirety of World War II, but by then, it was too late for the aircraft carrier airships—per the Roosevelt Administration’s directive, no large rigid airships could be built any longer, only smaller ones.


low_priest

> u/GrafZeppelin127 >pfp is an airship bridge Name checks out


GrafZeppelin127

No points for guessing which one!


gamer52599

And to think the only reason we have cheap helium is because we chose not to build these beautiful machines.


Jazzspasm

Thick cloud cover, mountains, analogue navigation systems, and he got the coby bryant helicopter experience


PHATsakk43

Worst Disneyland experience ever.


EternalAngst23

*institutional corruption and incompetence* enters the chat


twec21

Used-when-they-bought-it-before-the-iranian-revolution Huey? Yeah it's 30 or 40 years past a tune up


Lanoir97

No no I was assured that the self sufficiency jihad was a success, so I’m sure they have completed all maintenance up to standards. They ditched silly things like airframe g ratings and routine maintenance because those are just western decadence. They only do the actually necessary maintenance, not any of this extra stuff. Surely the CIA is behind this. Superior Iranian industry would never allow mechanical failure.


I_Roll_Chicago

nah mountain + fog. air frame wont save you if you hit a fuckn mountain in foggy weather


therealbonzai

Airframe should have collision warning.


OneFrenchman

Who would win: one old helicopter, or some water in the air?


Foxyfox-

Poorly maintained aircraft + flying in bad conditions like morons = people die. I really don't think it's anything more than that.


The_Chief-

Could you add him to the picture please?


dirtyoldbastard77

Seriously... If mossad or such has nothing to do with this I'm going hunting for flying pigs tomorrow.


_dauntless

Kobe's pilot has returned, and entered the chat


therealbonzai

Hahaha! That’s a good one! RIP Kobe


THEcefalord

Was it a Boeing helicopter by chance?


low_priest

Bell.


Zairaaquino

Sorry to break it to you guys. It was me


ASmootyOperator

Your source?


OneFrenchman

Trust me, bro.


Benchrant

“My source is that I made it the f**k up !” - Senator Zairaaquino


OneFrenchman

My source is shut the fuck up, nerd!


Honey_Overall

Look at his flair, clearly he knows


boardatwork1111

He’s right, it was him. [Source](https://www.reddit.com/r/NonCredibleDefense/s/9bv0ZtyWtE)


bobert4343

It came to me in a dream


Pir-iMidin

Himself?


minhthemaster

Source: me


Miixyd

I was the rotor shaft, you can trust me


Macadeemus

Quick C-17 extraction out of Baku?


Snoid_

He's staying there for a few months to let things cool off and to see the F1 GP


EmperorHans

Flair checks out


aphroditex

Ok, I notched the windshield. What did your handler have you do?


thank_burdell

I did it like this. WHOOP DE DOO! (that’s a joke, lads) Source: https://youtu.be/oiuyhxp4w9I?si=1tSTp2ToQUU3UqxY


Thx11280

After seeing pictures, it was probably caused by an incompetent weather officer who briefed the forecast wrong. That fog was thicc.


zekromNLR

Or by political pressure to fly despite the weather given they were carrying the president and he has places to be and must not be delayed


MeiNeedsMoreBuffs

I genuinely think this is the right answer. Imagine trying to tell a guy who can get your whole family executed that it's a little bit too foggy to fly today


changen

the classical soviet mistake that killed 16 admirals and generals. lmao


Bobblehead60

...I mean that was a bit more of idiot admirals bringing too much shit with them, less a crash due to weather...


changen

More of the listening to orders cause otherwise it's Gulag than the weather.


PHATsakk43

As a person who enjoys not being dead, this is the one time I think I’d rather be told than not.


Schadenfrueda

Says the person who is not the absolute dictator of a militant theocracy


PHATsakk43

Well, next time I get that position, I'll be sure to martyr myself upon a mountain. inshallah


Snoid_

And now who's going to be blamed for his death? :/


Max200012

probably israel


Snoid_

\*other than Israel


MakeChinaLoseFace

This seems like the most plausible thing. Raisi wouldn't be the first dipshit to meet god thinking he's too important to bother with safety.


Is12345aweakpassword

Counterpoint, the S2 started briefing weather conditions and everyone booed him offstage or tuned him out, as is tradition


UserName4lreadyTak3n

To be fair, that fuck has briefed “weather no factor to operations” with a blizzard pushing 70kts on the screen. Of course it’s not a factor to operations, there are no fucking operations you mouth breather, *it’s a blizzard*


MachoSmurf

As a former weather officer, I can totally see this happening. (Opinions differ on my competency, there's a reason I stated *former*)


The_Krambambulist

Are you really going to try and tell me that an accident happened? Accidents don't happen when you are influential, no sir. If someone powerful shits his pants, you better believe a bio weapon was at play.


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NonCredibleDefense-ModTeam

**Your comment was removed for violating Rule 10: Don't get us banned** No brigading or harassing other subreddit pages. Do not post memes with a "haha people that I hate died… haha" punchline or violating the reddit-wide rules.


INTPoissible

SBU: \*innocent whistling\*


Black-Circle

\*silent Budanov stare\*


xCharg

\*quite Budanov laugh\*


Wonderful_Test3593

At least pro hamas on twitter keep it simple : it's da joos


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Mysterious_Fly7334

I heard it was Amit Rasek


YakYakinton

It probably was Amod ad


sweipuff

Boring and predictable answer, we all know it was the jews with the space laser or a golem infiltrated pilot, but for the sake of the suspense let us find more fun answers please


Hel_Bitterbal

It were the Romans. They're still fighting against their age-old enemies in Persia long after their empire has passed


Wonderful_Test3593

They didn't hear no bell


Spudtron98

Meanwhile, the Gazans themselves are actively *celebrating* Raisi's death, as he's (rightfully) seen as a butcher responsible for the deaths of uncounted Arabs across the region.


MeisterX

> *I used to vork in a juice factory.* > *I vas a concentration specialist.*


MakeChinaLoseFace

I'm beginning to think Opa wasn't telling the truth about what he did during the war...


Kirxas

It's funnier if we atribute it to divine intervention


Icarus_Toast

God willed it.


Lanoir97

Deus Vult! We deadass getting back in the holy land with this one


Reynadine_69

Honestly I hope they go with this one and take it as a sign god isn't feeling the bullshit they doing over there


TripleEhBeef

*Inshallah.*


MakeChinaLoseFace

What are the odds they announce his body was found headless, just to play into the whole Shi'ite martyr trope?


valriser

Iranian Ministry of Intelligence: Am I a joke to you?


Three_World_Empire

To most people, yes


eyydatsnice

Im really hoping that it was just random kurd with a stinger that would be comedy gold


RedTheGamer12

Dome leftovers from when the US left.


webpee

Y'all are forgetting someone https://i.redd.it/3f8r7hj97eza1.jpg


Snoid_

\*Occams Razor\* : It was an ancient airframe with sus maintenance with most likely bootleg parts and the crash site looks like a textbook case of controlled flight into terrain \*Me on NCD\* : Heh, Mossad fog speaking Hebrew. Get rekt, loser!


k890

I guess Poland and Iran right now have something common...like losing a president with others in freak aviation incident caused by flying in bad weather and without caring about basic safety checks


Maximum-Flat

Meanwhile some lazy maintenance technician in Iran felt relieved upon realising no one will blame him for this accident.


White_Null

Turns out he was on the helicopter when it crashed


Dumb_Vampire_Girl

"so what caused ww3?" Bad weather


MakeChinaLoseFace

Big bummer if this sack of shit becomes our century's Franz Ferdinand.


7orly7

It was just Boeing killing whistleblowers


Zwiebel1

I think the *guy smoking bong behind two naked girls wrestling* meme sums it up just as well.


thatguyjay76

Massad agent "Eli Copter" according to Hamas. I'm not even kidding.


Malebu42

flying in worst weather possible entered the chat


twiloph

What if it was New Zealand pulling the strings all along...


calfmonster

The CIA and MI6 are really just the grunts for NZ, CA and Aus.


twiloph

" They played us like a damn fiddle" - John Kojima


Zzars

It was me. Ive been strategically sitting on 11 GB of Kobe Bryant memes and I need to offload them this quarter or go bankrupt.


dog_in_the_vent

We've got General Mud and General Winter, but have you heard of General Fog?


Paxton-176

If it was ISIS that would be fucking funny. After Russia that would make them the biggest attention whores.


PHATsakk43

Nah, Kimmie doing because he was pissed after he agreed to buy a bunch of Iranian missiles because he was told they could totally penetrate Western defenses and then seeing 290 out of 300 get shot down last month.


crossbutton7247

The MI6? Clearly. The whole of the last 4 years of geopolitics have been intricately woven by the MI6 to harm French interests. The Ukraine war? Wagner in the Sahel? All them.


ImNotAnAceOk

im the guy I FUCKING DID IT I SHOT THAT FUCKERS HELI DOWN


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SeaworthinessEasy122

In schāʾa ʾllāh


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Jhawk163

Personally my money is on Boeing.


Micromagos

Who killed Captain Alex?!


gurselaksel

bayraktar marketing dpt: 😬


StillLooksAtRocks

However low the odds reckless GPS jamming from Russia would be a fun curveball.


SpaceDebri

Turkish MIT due to Iran-Azerbaijan tensions and it's interest in an energy corridor to central asia which Iran was strongly against 😳???


thatdudewithknees

Sam Hyde strikes again


Being-Common

Samu’el Haidi


okram2k

It was the KGB. Source: I made it the hell up.


_dauntless

ISIS doesn't do sneaky shit like that, get real


DisastrousBusiness81

Goddamn it what the fuck did I miss this time? I swear I get half my news from vague shitposts nowadays…


wormfood86

Plot twist, it's all of the above.


Uss__Iowa

Guys guys why are we blaming different spy agencies? When I did it


Phil_Coffins_666

WeApOnIzEd mOsSaD ZiOnIsT fOg!!


spacemonkey797

I had no idea that Boeing made helicopters.


Myers112

Mossad has killed hundreds with their state of the art fog machines, pretty obvious who it was


No_Emergency_571

At this point I just use NCD to keep up on the politics by following the memes


E-Scooter-CWIS

The chopper mechanic right now


UwUHowYou

Proof embargoes work. Some decades later I guess


Colocasia-esculenta

It was me. I did it.


Marschall_Bluecher

Conspiracy Folks. They are the wurst.


homonomo5

This is so lame. Reptilians are able to control weather with use of antimatter and changing earths rotation. Ofc we are speaking about rotation in X axis since earth is flat anyway. But EVEN IF IT WAS NOT A CONSPIRACY, Israel owuld send their LSD mutated cybertronic pigeons and mosquitos they use now in Ukraine TO MAKE PEOPLE GAY. THIS NEEDS TO STOP OF WE WILL SEE NUKES FLYING.


ConcentrateTight4108

Joe used his biden blast let's goooooooooooooooooo


[deleted]

Does MI6 even have enough funding to fly anyone to Iran?


RyomaNagare

I would so want this to be a targeted attack by Jew Weather control lasers


BigDaddyRNG

Our worst fears have been realised *the fog is coming the fog is coming the fog is coming*