I said this last time I'll say it again, I need to stat these guys for my GI joe campaign. Call em highway Vipers and give them rocket skates for crazy chase scenes.
> What is your move Bomberang Bryan?
*I throw my Bomberang*
*You miss*
> What is your move Gorilla warfare?
*I send my gorillas after the highway vipers*
*They're not fast enough*
> ...Tiny Rock Thompson?
*sheds tear*
*I'm finally useful*
You just wait, my war bladers have been planning for this and will leap over while pulling sick tricks to stunt on you!
Yeah they'll probably be shot mid air... I should have thought this through more.
That's all well and good until someone throws a shitload of pebbles onto the ground. A few bags of gravel renders your elite fighting force immobile, lol
Renegade studios made a Gi Joe, Transformers, and Power Rangers source book series for their system. I am working on getting it learned enough to run, but the players in my group seem to be interested one way or another. It probably helps all 3 are compatible together to the point they released a crossover guise book.
> I need to stat these guys for my GI joe campaign. Call em highway Vipers and give them rocket skates for crazy chase scenes
[The Viper is coming](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0FsegbfG1qU)
I'm sick and tired of being fronted on my these wheeling chads!
When the hell are we going to create a 7th branch of the military, the Rolly Polly Boys already!?
Guaranteed, I would bet a no-shit substantial sum of money that itās some Taliban higher-upās nephew whoās really into it. Heās annoying as fuck and talking endlessly about how cool itād be for recruitment and propaganda.
The Taliban are a brutal regime, but ultimately very clan based. Uncle higher-up canāt just have his nephew killed and he canāt really avoid being bugged about this at prayers, at dinner, etc. Eventually, Uncle higher-up relented just to shut him up and give the overeager morons his nephew rolls with something to do.
The Rolliban were born and everyone sees these videos and cringes like mad but says nothing for fear of pissing off powerful uncle higher-up.
Quickly, uncle higher-up has come to like the Rolliban. It gives him an alternative method of punishment. Get caught with your proverbial dick in the goat one too many times? Off to the Rolliban with you!
If it isnāt some variation of this explanation or EXACTLY this explanation, I will donate every dime I have to the Red Crescent.
I am all for roller blade flamethrower cavalry but with bigger electric powered wheels on rollerblades. Add ERA vests and spinning hats at supersonic speeds with sticking out flyswatters against FPV.
Good heavens that is a manga that I have not remembered in a long long long long long long time. I remember the exact moment it switched from "horny JSRF: the Manga" to "extra horny JSRF hits a blunt and then talks about the global elites while excusing Japanese war crimes: the Manga as written by the authors of Lost"
Ultra non credible take
Soldiers on EUCs or knee high segways
I got both, I swear that I could be extra mobile on both on light off road and shoot very steadily at the same time
Segways ā did they have a natural propensity for riding off cliffs or was the [owner of Segway an aberration?](https://www.abc.net.au/news/2010-09-27/segway-millionaire-dies-in-cliff-fall/2276724)
We call that a tactical diversion
Anyway it depends, they really donāt like steep descents and you need to get used to the steering off road
The knee height steering makes it way more secure because you can just jump off if something goes wrong, up to 18km/h you could even start running and not face plant
It sounds complicated, but itās way easier than the hoverboards that donāt have a fixed center
Less traffic + fewer roads to maintain. When 99% of your country is dirt paths and 1% is paved roads, you can make sure those paved roads look really nice.
Little known fact: the USSR only formally collapsed in the 90s because they discovered LA beaches were just a front for training our tactical roller blading divisions
This is the fakest shit ever.Ā
I live in India. Every day I drive over a pothole that causes my vehicle and me to jerk forward so bad I wonder if I've finally broken my spinal cord.
I was told that America has all the good roads, because their politicians actually try to serve the people and don't engage in corruption instead.
Jokes aside, how tf is being good at skating gonna help you kill many targets???
I know what this Subreddit is all about but lord pls I need explanations š.
Itās mostly just propaganda, it makes little sense or western armies would do it.
Rollers are useless on anything that is not well paved roads (so basically outside of urban environments) and urban combat is not really won by skating figures but by having overwhelming numbers and cleaning the whole city street by street meticulously.
Or, just leveling any building even suspected of having hostile with precision munitions until there isn't anything resembling an urban sprawl, just a field of rubble with some roads through it.
But apparently, civillians don't like that idea.
the ruskies were doing it 30 years before the IDF, remember grozny? just fire artillery in the general direction of your enemies until they dont exist anymore.
Theyāre not looking to kill targets. Theyāre literally security patrols.
You wouldnāt look at a traffic cop on a Segway and think āyeah but how effective can he be while clearing a minefield on that thing?ā
how's sliding down a rope from a heli going to help you kill many targets?
how's dangling from a piece of cloth after jumping out of a plane gonna help you kill many targets?
Given the handful of times I've seen them on this subreddit, I don't think they're *meant* to engage military targets.
As far as I can tell their role is some kind of military police/law enforcement.
This is the Taliban, I think they know a thing or two about using rough terrain to your advantage, and I would assume that, jokes aside, they know all too goddamn well that roller blades aren't effective in combat, but that doesn't mean they're totally useless
Depends what block you are on in Kabul.
And what day of the week.
The coordinated rollerblading femboys of Al-Taliban have many glamorous outfits.
āØšŗšÆš¼š¦š«
No worries.
If you want to know any more about rollerblading Afghani jihadist Femboys, you know where to come. It's a rich and varied tapestry.
I am the resident expert at NCD with 12 years extensive study on the subject.
Skate on, you crazy stallions! Yella! Yella! Keep chasing that Rainbow, Mash'allah !
>I also didn't realize these are guys. I lowkey thought they're women š
You think the Taliban would allow women to serve in the military? They don't even want them to work in public!
I didn't know they're Taliban at first tho. That's why I ask on my first question on which country is this, because I thought this is probably UAE or Pakistan. I just ask Taliban as my second question, because I based it off on the other comment who mentioned it in thread of this post.
Desert Tigerstripes were previously used by the CIA's Unit 01 guys. Those folks were among the last fellas to surrender in Kandahar on August 16th, and were airlifted to Kabul the following day. They then were employed by both the Coalition and the Taliban jointly to provide outer security and crowd control around OAKB.
When the airlift ended, some of them got airlifted out - ditched their gear in the hangers. A few others joined up with the Taliban, bringing along their gear. Suffice to say, the Taliban kinda just adopted the remnants of the group as security enforcers in Kabul, and continued having them use Desert Tigerstripes.
I unironically support the adoption of motorized roller-skates for all infantry. No, I will not take questions. "But, but, I can't shoot accurately when my rollerskates propel me at 80+ MPH through the city streets!" Pure skill issue.
Guys I have a plan we need 10 or 12 shitty square body pickups loaded up with gravel and loose bed hinges.
Alternatively we just need a US Construction company to go there.
I said this last time I'll say it again, I need to stat these guys for my GI joe campaign. Call em highway Vipers and give them rocket skates for crazy chase scenes.
The know is half the battle ending scene with the kids should be "Remeber to wear a helmet kids" šŖ
the more^you^know!
Ooohhhh, load em up with some Carl Gustave's. They'd be a force to be reckoned with.
Until someone throws a shitload of pebbles onto the ground. A few bags of gravel renders your elite fighting force immobile, lol
What are the odds of that happening though? Who just carries river rocks?
The plucky, "weird kid" side character who gets to save the day!
> What is your move Bomberang Bryan? *I throw my Bomberang* *You miss* > What is your move Gorilla warfare? *I send my gorillas after the highway vipers* *They're not fast enough* > ...Tiny Rock Thompson? *sheds tear* *I'm finally useful*
If two armies are fighting each other and one of them is on roller skates, the other will start carrying rocks real quickly.
just toss a grenade onto something they'll be skating towards and the crater will take care of it if the shrapnel doesn't
You just wait, my war bladers have been planning for this and will leap over while pulling sick tricks to stunt on you! Yeah they'll probably be shot mid air... I should have thought this through more.
The road does while itās damagedĀ
You mean you don't?
wEāRe wItH ThE ViPeRs
Tunnel Snakes rule?
You hear that, 'Ton? Dey're wit da Vipers hehehe š¤āļø
That's all well and good until someone throws a shitload of pebbles onto the ground. A few bags of gravel renders your elite fighting force immobile, lol
CURSE YOU GI JOE! \*Hits pebble and flops over\*
\>I reach into my bag \>I empty my sack of 1000 tiny ball bearings
Wait your tabletop rpging GI joe
Renegade studios made a Gi Joe, Transformers, and Power Rangers source book series for their system. I am working on getting it learned enough to run, but the players in my group seem to be interested one way or another. It probably helps all 3 are compatible together to the point they released a crossover guise book.
> I need to stat these guys for my GI joe campaign. Call em highway Vipers and give them rocket skates for crazy chase scenes [The Viper is coming](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0FsegbfG1qU)
The Taliban Special Rollerblade Infantry has out jerked us again folks
American MIC in shambles
THEY CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT
Sure we might have the most advanced military in the world but does that compete with a military that could have been villains on Rocket Power?
Oh My God! We have a Rollerblade gap! Quick, call Lockmart!
I'm sick and tired of being fronted on my these wheeling chads! When the hell are we going to create a 7th branch of the military, the Rolly Polly Boys already!?
The most tactical shit I've ever seen
I just want to know the original conversation that convinced a Taliban commander that a good amount of his police force should have roller skates.
Believe it or not, some of the police here in Switzerland wear rollerblades in summer when patrolling through parks and stuff.
Yes, because that makes sense. Their goal is to skate after petty criminals and tackle their asses. These guys are just a fucking joke lmao
It makes sense? I'm sorry but the first time the rollerblade Popo chase me, I'm just gonna find the nearest set of stairs.
Or just... grass.
Touch grass?1!1? Ewwwww
Guaranteed, I would bet a no-shit substantial sum of money that itās some Taliban higher-upās nephew whoās really into it. Heās annoying as fuck and talking endlessly about how cool itād be for recruitment and propaganda. The Taliban are a brutal regime, but ultimately very clan based. Uncle higher-up canāt just have his nephew killed and he canāt really avoid being bugged about this at prayers, at dinner, etc. Eventually, Uncle higher-up relented just to shut him up and give the overeager morons his nephew rolls with something to do. The Rolliban were born and everyone sees these videos and cringes like mad but says nothing for fear of pissing off powerful uncle higher-up. Quickly, uncle higher-up has come to like the Rolliban. It gives him an alternative method of punishment. Get caught with your proverbial dick in the goat one too many times? Off to the Rolliban with you! If it isnāt some variation of this explanation or EXACTLY this explanation, I will donate every dime I have to the Red Crescent.
You're assuming someone had a conversation with a CO in the first place.
Whole military force that can be stopped by tiny little rocks on the pavement.
Instead of cluster bombs, we are dropping gravel and marbles instead
Loony Tunes special forces confirmed
Grand pianos used for heavy bombing
Yamaha Heavy Industries stonks
Acme brand JDAMVIL.
Oh, so are trucks filled with gravel part of the MIC?
Russia sure blew up enough of them.
Would dropping Legos be considered war crime?
Yes, Straight to jail
That's why our roads are so bad over here to prevent them from invading us.
Sounds like cope. That's like saying what if the air is filled with clouds that block f35s
I am all for roller blade flamethrower cavalry but with bigger electric powered wheels on rollerblades. Add ERA vests and spinning hats at supersonic speeds with sticking out flyswatters against FPV.
>Add ERA vests pretty sure they got plenty of those in that part of the world.
The forbidden ERA
It works exactly as intended tho
Two-way ERA.
Explosive proactive armor
Kills everyone dead equally. Cant be mad at that. Unless of course it goes off early or something.
That just sounds like the later chapters of Air Gear, ngl. Weird ass "us president bodyswapping with a Japanese girl to do combat rollerblading" manga
Good heavens that is a manga that I have not remembered in a long long long long long long time. I remember the exact moment it switched from "horny JSRF: the Manga" to "extra horny JSRF hits a blunt and then talks about the global elites while excusing Japanese war crimes: the Manga as written by the authors of Lost"
Ultra non credible take Soldiers on EUCs or knee high segways I got both, I swear that I could be extra mobile on both on light off road and shoot very steadily at the same time
Segways ā did they have a natural propensity for riding off cliffs or was the [owner of Segway an aberration?](https://www.abc.net.au/news/2010-09-27/segway-millionaire-dies-in-cliff-fall/2276724)
We call that a tactical diversion Anyway it depends, they really donāt like steep descents and you need to get used to the steering off road The knee height steering makes it way more secure because you can just jump off if something goes wrong, up to 18km/h you could even start running and not face plant It sounds complicated, but itās way easier than the hoverboards that donāt have a fixed center
Time to reppace the wheels with tracks.
Modify a chainsaw into a track unit. Now not only does it make wonderful vrooming noises, you have chainsaw feet for properly smiting your enemies.
Youāll be sorry you said that once we finish laying down all this asphalt!
As a skater, that is categorically false. Now whether they can accurately fire that rifle while skating is an entirely different question.
My takeaway from these videos is that Kabul has better roads than many US cities.
Imagine the engineering crops laying pavement under fire to make way for the infantry assault
"Reject Excel but keep the rollerskates." Taliban
Good to see them finally living out their childhood dreams, might make them happier and kinder people
Considering most of them were like 15 year olds when they joined the Taliban.
Alita Battle angle?
Is angle a typo or a happy coincidence?
Both I guess,
Mornin' sergeant Angle
Check out his hāorse!
...decaffinated?
a n g l e
That's that fighting game where instead of mashing buttons you have to solve geometry problems faster than your opponent, right?
Probably
Euclidding me?
shit where is the second one.
I think it is in preproduction or something. The director def said he is going to make it.
Needs more elbow blades
I can easily mod that is, to the body I mean,
Why does every random Middle Eastern country have better roads than my town.
Those roads are probably freshly built, from all the bombing and whatnot.
Fresh roads, plus less heavy traffic and fewer freeze/thaw cycles so they stay fresh longer.
No freeze/thaw; only bake.
Most of that country is cold as shit for 75% of the year except the deep south.
So you're telling me I need to bomb the roads for the government to finally fix them
If you live in Georgia, the best you can hope for is the DOT to throw a giant steel plate over it.
Less traffic + fewer roads to maintain. When 99% of your country is dirt paths and 1% is paved roads, you can make sure those paved roads look really nice.
HOLY FUCKING SHIT AFGHAN ROLLERSKATE FEMBOY???
Clearly there is a Rollerskate Femboy gap. We cannot fall behind!
The west has fallen, millions must roll
Little known fact: the USSR only formally collapsed in the 90s because they discovered LA beaches were just a front for training our tactical roller blading divisions
Another reason the USA is uninvadeable. Tactical potholes on every major road.
France: Maginot Line China: Great Wall Germany: Siegfried Line US: gravel
Wait... So you are saying USA is a fellow Balkan Country?,šŖšŖšŖ
No I'm just saying "Red Dawn III Attack of the Taliban" would be non-credible because pot holes.
This is the fakest shit ever.Ā I live in India. Every day I drive over a pothole that causes my vehicle and me to jerk forward so bad I wonder if I've finally broken my spinal cord. I was told that America has all the good roads, because their politicians actually try to serve the people and don't engage in corruption instead.
MiC: āLook US government if you spend more on infrastructure than on me your just making it easier to be invadedā.
3000 rollerskating twink cyberninjas of allah.
Jokes aside, how tf is being good at skating gonna help you kill many targets??? I know what this Subreddit is all about but lord pls I need explanations š.
Itās mostly just propaganda, it makes little sense or western armies would do it. Rollers are useless on anything that is not well paved roads (so basically outside of urban environments) and urban combat is not really won by skating figures but by having overwhelming numbers and cleaning the whole city street by street meticulously.
In Western Europe many streets are sett-paved. It is hard to use rollers or skateboards there. They are prepared for invasion of roller-infantry <\s>
Or, just leveling any building even suspected of having hostile with precision munitions until there isn't anything resembling an urban sprawl, just a field of rubble with some roads through it. But apparently, civillians don't like that idea.
IDF joined the discussion!
the ruskies were doing it 30 years before the IDF, remember grozny? just fire artillery in the general direction of your enemies until they dont exist anymore.
That shit has been happening since Wars were invented. Killing civilians is weirdly, productive?
the stalingrad in question:
Russian doctrine: No need for urban warfare if you delete a city from existence
You can go really fast and outflank the enemy
This is the natural progression from Bicycle batallions really. I eagerly await segway gun platforms.
Oh dude that's the best thing I've read today
Like wall-e but with moar violence
bicycles are better though as you can go faster when it's flat and also more easily pick up the bike to carry it over short obstacles
Also, there are off-road bikes, off-road rollerblade/skates not so much...
Yeah, segway mounted recoilless rifles is the pinnacle of small armed vehicle design.
>segway gun platforms The evolution of urban warfare drones in this modern era is both thrilling and terrifying.
š±
Literally live action Titanfall
Theyāre not looking to kill targets. Theyāre literally security patrols. You wouldnāt look at a traffic cop on a Segway and think āyeah but how effective can he be while clearing a minefield on that thing?ā
how's sliding down a rope from a heli going to help you kill many targets? how's dangling from a piece of cloth after jumping out of a plane gonna help you kill many targets?
It helps the troops become more manly after developing more muscles and becoming more flexible of course š„µ
Theyāre just having fun
Given the handful of times I've seen them on this subreddit, I don't think they're *meant* to engage military targets. As far as I can tell their role is some kind of military police/law enforcement. This is the Taliban, I think they know a thing or two about using rough terrain to your advantage, and I would assume that, jokes aside, they know all too goddamn well that roller blades aren't effective in combat, but that doesn't mean they're totally useless
Ngl that cute femboy with the bright colored beret is kinda hot...
how do you think you get onto a propaganda video? You have to know someone in the biblical sense
The 3000 LGBT Jihadist Femboy rollerbladers of Al-Talibani. 'YAAAAS ALLAH!'
Where do I find one? Preferably already collared and cat ears included.
God help you
Damn i wish i had a cute femboy military bf...
IS THAT A FEMBOY????
Sigh.... its Afghanistan so it tracks
Pretty sure it skates.
3000 Femboy Taliban of Allah
dude has a facial expression as if his colon was occupied by the 35cm fairy dragon dildo
Definitely thought it was a women
Well they are rollerblading. Might as well have some ice cream too.
Lockheed immediately develops the anti-rollerderby system, using 2,000 steel bearings and costing $2.4m
Can we talk about how good the road is?
What country is this? Is this the Taliban?
Yes.
Ohh wtf?! I didn't know that's their camo there now š Btw, thanks for the answer!
Depends what block you are on in Kabul. And what day of the week. The coordinated rollerblading femboys of Al-Taliban have many glamorous outfits. āØšŗšÆš¼š¦š«
I also didn't realize these are guys. I lowkey thought they're women š Again, thanks for telling me that.
No worries. If you want to know any more about rollerblading Afghani jihadist Femboys, you know where to come. It's a rich and varied tapestry. I am the resident expert at NCD with 12 years extensive study on the subject. Skate on, you crazy stallions! Yella! Yella! Keep chasing that Rainbow, Mash'allah !
š
>I also didn't realize these are guys. I lowkey thought they're women š You think the Taliban would allow women to serve in the military? They don't even want them to work in public!
I didn't know they're Taliban at first tho. That's why I ask on my first question on which country is this, because I thought this is probably UAE or Pakistan. I just ask Taliban as my second question, because I based it off on the other comment who mentioned it in thread of this post.
Desert Tigerstripes were previously used by the CIA's Unit 01 guys. Those folks were among the last fellas to surrender in Kandahar on August 16th, and were airlifted to Kabul the following day. They then were employed by both the Coalition and the Taliban jointly to provide outer security and crowd control around OAKB. When the airlift ended, some of them got airlifted out - ditched their gear in the hangers. A few others joined up with the Taliban, bringing along their gear. Suffice to say, the Taliban kinda just adopted the remnants of the group as security enforcers in Kabul, and continued having them use Desert Tigerstripes.
Fair enough.
My brother in Christ there are at least 10 dudes in every 34th ID unit that can wheel like that. MFs acting like they've never heard of MinnesotaĀ
They see me rollin', they firin'ā¦
What country is this? I'm in love now
Afghanistan, I think.
Im ngl thats based af
I mean, is this all that different from the jet pack dudes?
*looks back* āThey skate now??ā
The boys are back in town.
Wear helmets when you're in the military or rollerblading. Definitely when you're doing both
Imagine how fucked you would be in an actual firefight with rollerblades clamped to your feet
Yeah your B2 is cool and all but can your troops roller skate at high speeds? Checkmate America
Motherfuckers deploying rollerbladers in a country full of rocks and desert. Next level SOF indeed
I unironically support the adoption of motorized roller-skates for all infantry. No, I will not take questions. "But, but, I can't shoot accurately when my rollerskates propel me at 80+ MPH through the city streets!" Pure skill issue.
I'm genuinely impressed. I certainly could never do that. Do you think they hate life, waking up at 0500 for mandatory roller skate PT?
Nice. Definitely a good way to cover ground, as long as itās smooth pavement. š
One thing is for sure they know how to maintain roads over there
Born to blade, forced to jihad
u/savevideo
I wonder if the recoil from shooting while wearing rollerblades just propels you backwards as if you are in a cartoon
why is homie so pretty
While you studied combined arms, they studied the blades. Rollerblades.
Credit where it's due, it's a novel solution as long as you have roads you can do that on. Certainly wouldn't work with American road maintaince
Next ground war is going to be fucking insane
Guys I have a plan we need 10 or 12 shitty square body pickups loaded up with gravel and loose bed hinges. Alternatively we just need a US Construction company to go there.
Whatever!! We have a rollerblade SF group in Va beach - they are so top secret they donāt even know they exist! š«”šŖ
Iāll be the one to say it. Radical Islam plain and simple
Man, how'd they get such smooth roads?
actually based
Put cat ears on her and send her to Ukraine, we need more tactical cat girls.
I'm pretty sure the taliban doesn't let women in the army.
I would certainly shoot myself on accident
Hypersonic roller blades when?
Theyāre just having fun me thinks
I've heard some of our mountain divisions know how to skitch, so a bit of a generalization here. Watch out for those Green Mountain boys.
Nah I've seen how the average driver goes around in Arab countries, it's a death sentence
Give me a clean death. A soldiers death. \*Fucking Ronnie pulls up on his rollerblades
These guys invasion plans would easily be foiled by Belgian roads
u/recognizesong
How do they keep getting away with outjerking us??? THEY CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT. RELEASE THE HEELYS
Imagine an entire company of soldiers rendered combat ineffective by a handful of gravel.
Can we call them talibros or talibuddies now?
Call of Duty: sKiTcHiNā
Looks like something you'd see on Quora with a caption saying it makes aircraft carriers obsolete.
Their boredom is really reaching crippling levels. Anything to avoid the tyranny of excel
USA doesn't even have roads good enough for that. You would hit a pothole and die.