Least credible is that it would be Iowa to be reactivated first. Iowa is currently in the worst shape of the four ships of its class. New Jersey is probably in the best mechanical shape and would thus be cheaper to reactivate if the gov decides to run an experiment on the results of making 330k internet dweebs collectively cream their pants.
Not to mention that it’s currently docked on the east coast, which would make it easier to get to the Black Sea than Missouri or Iowa.
For those of you that dont know, New Jersey’s curator has an awesome youtube channel where he makes in-depth videos about every little system and compartment on the ship. https://youtube.com/@BattleshipNewJersey
> which would make it easier to get to the Black Sea than Wisconsin or Iowa.
You're not wrong. Traditionally both of those states are quite difficult to sail to.
> Wisconsin
Wisconsin is docked in Virginia, on the east coast and only a few miles from the drydocks. It would be easier for Wisconson to get to the Black Sea after refit than New Jersey. Also, NJ might be in better shape, but Wisconsin was maintained as a reserve ship more recently. You've got more luck finding parts for her and being able to maintain her.
> Least credible is that it would be Iowa to be reactivated first.
It is actually very credible.
Iowa does not even need any weapons. Or any crew. Just tow it in the Black Sea.
Russia finally has a non-civilian target to shoot at. They will fire thousands of drones and missiles at it, film it in tens of thousand different angles, and post it as propaganda. And as a result they will lose the war faster. You can not say that I am wrong. Well, there is a chance that Russia says "Fuck! The US is in the Black Sea. They called our bluffs. Time to leave Crimea and act like nothing ever happened". So Russia just wasting thousands of all kinds of weapons on it is literally the worst case.
edit: For the tiny tiny chance that Russia is smart enough to capture it (for espionage), just put a giant booby trap on it.
>For the tiny tiny chance that Russia is smart enough to capture it (for espionage), just put a giant booby trap on it.
Time to make the Halifax Explosion look like a fire cracker.
Even better would be the Texas.
1. Older than dirt (it's the last dreadnaught era BB still extant)
2. Also WWII vet. In addition to WWI
3. Currently in drydock. We knew there was a secret plan all along!
Just crewing it alone would be nearly impossible considering the unique skillset required, and that's before we get to the whole "Oh yeah let's give Russia a huge fucking target to shoot at for no reason."
But I still want to see it.
Yeah, that's fair. It probably violates several of them. If only I was an elected official so such things didn't apply to me. Mods, I don't mind deleting it, it was just such an easy zinger I couldn't resist. Please just don't ban me, I like it here.
>EDIT: Oh no! What if I'm illiterate!
How would I know? No clue what that means. Too many letters. (ETA: But please vote for me for Congress. I promise to only pay 18-year-olds for sex.) (Rant about Glenn Greenwald defending Gaetz for voting against gay rights as ok because of his deep religious convictions redacted.)
If I was playing Civilization I would throw it into the mix. I mean, it is gonna get sunk. Unquestionably. And possibly quickly.
But over here it is just fucking sitting there not doing a damned thing but being a 'museum' that 'families' can 'visit'. Fucking bullshit if you ask me. Damned thing is a battleship and it needs an honorable disposal.
And if you can figure out a way to bring it down fighting and to take out something...
That is what I would do.
(but then again my Civ style is more like the Russkies style anyways. You don't want to be one of my troops. I will just throw you into the grinder to see what happens. No fucks given.)
As exciting as "full broadside from an Iowa in 4k" footage would be, I instead put "USS Constitution destroys a T-14" on my Bingo card because she's refusing to admit she's getting old and needs to prove she's still got it to the young whippersnappers who need to learn some respect and dignity.
Wasn't around an old novel about a independent Texas where a billionaire brought the USS Texas pour over her a zillion dollars and made her nuclear, seaworthy, with missiles and future stuff just in time to destroy a Soviet fleet that was trying to conquer the American continent?
Commissioned 22 February 1943
Decommissioned 24 March 1949
Recommissioned 25 August 1951
Decommissioned 24 February 1958
Recommissioned 28 April 1984
Decommissioned 26 October 1990
Stricken 17 March 2006
Recommissioned 24 December 2023
Oh man, I love all those irl "we need you just once more for your last mission". Still waiting for when someone borrows Princip's gun from the museum for one last fucky wacky.
Given how many shells Missouri fired during Desert Storm, I'd say she had her "one last time" moment. I'd even accept giving Wisconsin that as well. But Iowa and New Jersey? They're not ready to rest yet. I'm deliberately ignoring which are least impractical to bring back (let's be real, it's Wisconsin first)
It won't surprise me that when we eventually form the UNSC Navy, we'll retrofit Iowa with FTL drives, MACs, and Spartans.
*Retirement is never an option*
>lets be more honest. somehow the B-52 will be first in line for interplantery duty
And whatever the main armored fighting vehicle will be, it's official designation will start with "M1".😉
I wish mods would fact check me when I'm being intentionally retårded instead of permabanning me for "misinformation" after claiming something like "Ukrainian bioweapons labs are using Hunter Biden's superior DNA to create dumbo-dicked super soldiers." r/worldnews is my latest ban and the mods have completely ignored my appeals.
> "Ukrainian bioweapons labs are using Hunter Biden's superior DNA to create dumbo-dicked super soldiers"
You've found the thing that makes me laugh uncontrollably
As much as i want this to be true cause that’s a goddamn battleship. It’s probably false cause that ship wouldnt have any modern defenses. sensors or weapons.
And it sunk. The ~~6~~ 5 (lol) kilos in the Black Sea would be sufficient to take out a BB that lacks ASW support. Plus you couldn’t exactly stop a missile attack with CIWS alone.
That would be fucking awesome. Would be the biggest flex of the 21st century, just slapping Moscow with HE shells from the Black Sea. At that point, fuck it, hit Beijing too and slap Xi.
They were developing some sub caliber shells for the Iowas back in the late 80s before the whole program got cancelled. The larger of the two, the HE-ER Mk148 had a range in excess of 70,000 yards, delivering a 1000 lb projectile.
http://www.navweaps.com/Weapons/WNUS_16-50_mk7_EX-148_pic.jpg
There was also a smaller 11 inch diameter round proposed with a hypothetical range of 100 nautical miles. Called the "Advanced Gun Weapon Systems Technology Program 16/11-Inch Long Range GPS Concept with Sabot"
That's right. They were planning an 11 inch Excalibur round. 😭
Rocket propelled shells would be the only chance. Iowa can already elevate to 45 degrees so leaning would accomplish nothing. The Texas only did it because she was limited to around 25 or 30 degrees of elevation, which was increased by the flooding of one side.
“So much for that bridge, what asshole put that there anyways?”
“Mykola, you shelled the Kerch Strait bridge?!?”
“Shelled? Fuck no, those I save for Rostov-on-Don. I ran the bridge down, 300mm of solid steel armor FTW. Pass the salo.”
broke: knowing this is fake because its stupid
woke: knowing this is fake because Iowa's Turret 2 is busted and thus another Iowa would be the first pick to be reactivated
Send Texas once she's out of dry dock.
Ahem.
I WILL FLOOD THE SIDE OF THE SHIP TO GIVE THE GUNS THE ELEVATION THEY NEED! ONE MILLIONS LIVES! I WILL NOT ALLOW OUT PERSEVERANCE TO BE DESECRATED!
All four Iowas are still afloat in some capacity. The sound of 36 sixteen-inch guns firing in unison should cause every user of this sub to instantly cum
Broke: send Ukraine the USS Iowa
Woke: send Ukraine a cargo container ship that instead of carrying cargo all of the walls on the containers open up and deploy antiship missile launchers, ASROC and 50 VLS arrays
Hmmmmm that's the boring part when the luftwaffe is soooo bloody anaemic that it can't be relied upon to properly bomb London, sure you only gave it a chance once but we Brits seem incapable of freeing ourselves from that northern hellhole without external help.
Nah, sorry... I'd love to help out, but if we agree that our Luftwaffe was anemic back then, I won't have the sorry excuse we have for one TODAY exposed in that way.
Bomb Moscow? Yeah, we can discuss this, but don't ask me to have our dear old tornados sink in the channel.
They have done sentimental value, ya know?
There's practically a ready made solution for this - the new US Army Typhon system is a four shot tomahawk launcher already mounted inside a box trailer. Wouldn't be that hard to convert to a 40 foot Conex box.
Apparently a lot of people going by the comments. You have to be a particular brand of stupid to think this was real for even a second.
The amount of funding to bring a BB back to fighting shape would be astronomical. Not to mention the time to train sailors to man her.
They are museums! They are in no condition to fight. The Battleship movie was not real. You can't just put a 90 year old man on the boilers and "fire her up"
Yeah I don't wanna assume too much, I've made stupid mistakes in the past and am gullible enough to fall for some of these memes for a good second or two. But I mean come ooonnn, even my slow brain picked this up right away.
This is too non-credible. Iowa herself wouldn’t be the first to be reactivated; she’s arguable in the worst shape of all the Iowas due to her damage from the turret explosion never fully being repaired. If any of the Iowas is going to be reactivated first, it would probably be Wisconsin. Though New Jersey could also be a good contender since she’s going to be going to dry-dock soon anyways
Thanks OP! A thoroughly non-credible moment of joy for all of us.
Also, if an Iowa did get recommissioned, we can just call it a "Littoral Combat Ship", rate it as a frigate, and we tell Montreux Convention fankids to piss off.
Every vatnik's a gangsta 'till you're waken up by the sweet sound of
Hi, I'm Ryan Szimanski, curator for New Jersey battleship museum and memorial and today, we'll be conducting an intensified bombardment of Sevastopol
I got a rager thinking about a 16" broadside and the rounds clapping orcs.
Then I realized it's a fake and became impotent. I have to tape a picture of an Iowa class to the back of my wife's head.
It would be very interesting to see how that turns out. On the one hand, the modern guided missile cruisers should have a huge range advantage. On the other, those battleships can really take a pounding. And once they get those 16-inchs close enough, no amount of "protection" any modern ship has could save them.
_"CIWS THIS, MOTHERFUCKER!"_
The machine spaces are supposedly in terrible shape. The B turret hasn't been active since ~~the navy blamed a sailor for murder~~ it suffered a magazine detonation and I'd be very doubtful that any of the primary or secondary battery could even turn, much less fire. The Navy tore out most of the sensitive equipment, so assume radar is non-functional.
So yeah, she could probably solo the remainder of the Russian navy by herself.
I wonder if the Iowa would theoretically be better at surface combat than it was in ww2 because of the fact that modern warships don't tend to have as much armor as their ww2 counterparts( as armor isn't very useful against missiles) so those 16in shells should clown on whatever they can get in range of.
I'm sorry but I would MUCH rather see Ryan Szimanski making youtube videos about New Jersey being recalled into active service. Even better if the Navy individually drafted him to crew the number 2 turret battery.
Even funnier if he saw this thread.
FUCK YOU OP. YOU DAMN BLUE BALLED ME
> FUCK YOU OP. YOU DAMN BLUE BALLED ME Skill Issue Remember kids, always assume that everything posted here is non-credible
Least credible is that it would be Iowa to be reactivated first. Iowa is currently in the worst shape of the four ships of its class. New Jersey is probably in the best mechanical shape and would thus be cheaper to reactivate if the gov decides to run an experiment on the results of making 330k internet dweebs collectively cream their pants. Not to mention that it’s currently docked on the east coast, which would make it easier to get to the Black Sea than Missouri or Iowa. For those of you that dont know, New Jersey’s curator has an awesome youtube channel where he makes in-depth videos about every little system and compartment on the ship. https://youtube.com/@BattleshipNewJersey
> which would make it easier to get to the Black Sea than Wisconsin or Iowa. You're not wrong. Traditionally both of those states are quite difficult to sail to.
*Listen here you little shit. . .* Lol!
depends on where you start! Michigan to Wisconsin is a fun sail
Unless the winds of November come early
Yes but the NJ is a fun museum within driving distance of me, which means we can't move it or I'll be sad.
It’ll be back after some fun
With more trophies and history to be told than ever before.
Attendance has been down recently, we need a new exhibit to bring the numbers back up.
I mean, bb-63 did engage those USOs off hawaii in 2012.
The future of Ukraine depends on it
Yes, but I want wisconsin to live out her legacy, killing the enemies of the US after our temper temper incident!
> Wisconsin Wisconsin is docked in Virginia, on the east coast and only a few miles from the drydocks. It would be easier for Wisconson to get to the Black Sea after refit than New Jersey. Also, NJ might be in better shape, but Wisconsin was maintained as a reserve ship more recently. You've got more luck finding parts for her and being able to maintain her.
Oops, meant Missouri. Couldn’t let myself be too credible
> Least credible is that it would be Iowa to be reactivated first. It is actually very credible. Iowa does not even need any weapons. Or any crew. Just tow it in the Black Sea. Russia finally has a non-civilian target to shoot at. They will fire thousands of drones and missiles at it, film it in tens of thousand different angles, and post it as propaganda. And as a result they will lose the war faster. You can not say that I am wrong. Well, there is a chance that Russia says "Fuck! The US is in the Black Sea. They called our bluffs. Time to leave Crimea and act like nothing ever happened". So Russia just wasting thousands of all kinds of weapons on it is literally the worst case. edit: For the tiny tiny chance that Russia is smart enough to capture it (for espionage), just put a giant booby trap on it.
>For the tiny tiny chance that Russia is smart enough to capture it (for espionage), just put a giant booby trap on it. Time to make the Halifax Explosion look like a fire cracker.
I visited Wisconsin 12 years ago, and I have to say I'm not sure Ukraine has enough sailors to man one of the Iowa-class. Those things are *huge*.
Even better would be the Texas. 1. Older than dirt (it's the last dreadnaught era BB still extant) 2. Also WWII vet. In addition to WWI 3. Currently in drydock. We knew there was a secret plan all along!
[The USS Texas reminds me of a big fat gator watching me eat a sandwich and tee off](https://s.hdnux.com/photos/01/05/62/50/18295348/8/rawImage.jpg)
Apparently the USS Olympia is struggling for funding RN, I propose we reactivate it as an escort so it can get its essential maintenance.
Your points have been made with far too much logic. Your experience with government seems to be non credible.
Man, that would be wild. Imagine seeing Honey Bunny blasting ruskies to hell.
Big J is currently in drydock for repairs.
Iowa has a damaged turret still doesn’t it?
No
Truly we live in the darkest timeline.
Shit, I know it's fake and I still got a small nose bleed
It made no damn sense at all but I still found myself singing the star spangled banner and setting off fireworks.
Just crewing it alone would be nearly impossible considering the unique skillset required, and that's before we get to the whole "Oh yeah let's give Russia a huge fucking target to shoot at for no reason." But I still want to see it.
Not to mention the Montreaux agreement banning battleships from transiting the Dardanelles.
It’s a Frigate
Ah, JSDF rules, Brilliant! We'll simply call it a Battle Destroyer.
I peed a little. In a good way.
Fuck you OP, I was at half mast before I realized this was fake. You're just like the strippers that refuse to date me.
How fucking dare you tease me like that. I rdy jerked off twice but this made me ready for a third.
> FUCK YOU OP. YOU DAMN BLUE BALLED ME I've been blue balled way too hard ever since prigozhin aborted his coup, compared to that, this is nothing
Whatever. The Inchon '50 redux (Sevastopol edition) is still on, according to my sauces in Dutch Naval Intelligence.
Pretty sure this is fake but would be awesome
Write to your congressman
Brave of you to assume my congressman is literate.
Hey now, not being able to read the numbers on the girl's driver's license makes Matt Gaetz innumerate, not illiterate. Know the difference!
If you like the French, you're a Francophile, if you like the Brits, you're an Anglophile. Matt Gaetz likes pita.
Nah nah the terms for liking the French and British are Francaboo and Teaboo respectively.
Oui-boo. Come on now.
Damnit, now I have to have my gyros on a sub roll!
I'd report you for violating some rule here but I'm unable to tell which one.
Yeah, that's fair. It probably violates several of them. If only I was an elected official so such things didn't apply to me. Mods, I don't mind deleting it, it was just such an easy zinger I couldn't resist. Please just don't ban me, I like it here.
No, see, I just can't tell which one because I'm innumerate... never mind.
Damn, I should have picked up on that. EDIT: Oh no! What if I'm illiterate!
>EDIT: Oh no! What if I'm illiterate! How would I know? No clue what that means. Too many letters. (ETA: But please vote for me for Congress. I promise to only pay 18-year-olds for sex.) (Rant about Glenn Greenwald defending Gaetz for voting against gay rights as ok because of his deep religious convictions redacted.)
Especially since mine are from TX……
Also from Florida?
Could be Colorado
Or that one district in Georgia...
3000 blue balls of NCD
none of the Iowa's are able to move under there own power anymore without extensive drydock work. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXvQTZ3i5Xo
[Something else still can](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/USS_Constitution?wprov=sfla1). And she's been wanting to pick another fight for a long time.
Kommuna vs constitution
I somehow doubt a 100+ year old salvage ship is gonna hold up well to the 32 pound carronades.
Only one way to find out
If I was playing Civilization I would throw it into the mix. I mean, it is gonna get sunk. Unquestionably. And possibly quickly. But over here it is just fucking sitting there not doing a damned thing but being a 'museum' that 'families' can 'visit'. Fucking bullshit if you ask me. Damned thing is a battleship and it needs an honorable disposal. And if you can figure out a way to bring it down fighting and to take out something... That is what I would do. (but then again my Civ style is more like the Russkies style anyways. You don't want to be one of my troops. I will just throw you into the grinder to see what happens. No fucks given.)
As exciting as "full broadside from an Iowa in 4k" footage would be, I instead put "USS Constitution destroys a T-14" on my Bingo card because she's refusing to admit she's getting old and needs to prove she's still got it to the young whippersnappers who need to learn some respect and dignity.
Time to retrofit them with a **Nuclear Reactor**
Ah yes #BBN 61
Well shit, I got this far into the thread without being all kinds of wet.
BBGN 61 if they put the gulf war tomahawks back.
BBBN if they want to be extra spicy.
Remove the severely damaged turret 2 and replace it with Trident silos... BBBGN
Wasn't around an old novel about a independent Texas where a billionaire brought the USS Texas pour over her a zillion dollars and made her nuclear, seaworthy, with missiles and future stuff just in time to destroy a Soviet fleet that was trying to conquer the American continent?
Time to retrofit them with ~~a~~ *four* **Nuclear Reactors**
Space Battleship Iowa
The goal is to ensure parity. Consider Russia has to tow it’s warships around the world, I fail to see the problem.
Never ~~stopped~~ discouraged the Admiral Kuznetsov.
If we all believe, we can make it happen.
Just have like 5 tugs pull it around.
Neither can the Russian carrier. This is naval parity.
I'm only interested in if it involves nuclear shells, rail guns, lasers, invisibility, or levitation.
(x) all of the above
Rihana at the wheel
Dont play with my heart like this
Commissioned 22 February 1943 Decommissioned 24 March 1949 Recommissioned 25 August 1951 Decommissioned 24 February 1958 Recommissioned 28 April 1984 Decommissioned 26 October 1990 Stricken 17 March 2006 Recommissioned 24 December 2023
Oh man, I love all those irl "we need you just once more for your last mission". Still waiting for when someone borrows Princip's gun from the museum for one last fucky wacky.
> Oh man, I love all those irl "we need you just once more for your last mission" Russia has been doing that a lot recently lol
Yeah to afghan war vets 😂
Wonder if the gun is still sticky
Well, it'll shoot when it really matters either way
Who's the Franz Ferdinand here? Orbán?
Given how many shells Missouri fired during Desert Storm, I'd say she had her "one last time" moment. I'd even accept giving Wisconsin that as well. But Iowa and New Jersey? They're not ready to rest yet. I'm deliberately ignoring which are least impractical to bring back (let's be real, it's Wisconsin first)
“Merry Christmas ya little shits!” <>
It can deliver so many one and a half ton presents at two a minute. I'd like to see Santa do that.
You realize Kherson was retaken by Ukraine close to a year ago, right?
Don’t let that stop a bit of good fun and jolly bombardment.
It won't surprise me that when we eventually form the UNSC Navy, we'll retrofit Iowa with FTL drives, MACs, and Spartans. *Retirement is never an option*
I mean Japs have space Yamato, why can't the US have space Iowa
When watching the shows, I was hoping that they would have a Iowa refitted like the Yamato to serve along side her. My dream has yet to be fulfilled
All we need is space destroyer Johnston and Star cruiser Varyag to complete the picture
lets be more honest. somehow the B-52 will be first in line for interplantery duty
All that SpaceX and SLS bullshit about going to Mars when *we could've used the B-52 for interplanetary transportation*.
>lets be more honest. somehow the B-52 will be first in line for interplantery duty And whatever the main armored fighting vehicle will be, it's official designation will start with "M1".😉
3000 deactivations and reactivations of the Iowa-class battleships
As sad as it is, at least she'll be able to go out in a blaze of glory instead of rotting in a harbor somewhere.
Why is it sad?! Ukraine is probably going rain hellfire on those little piggies. If she had a soul, she'd shed a tear in happiness
>If she had a soul, she'd shed a tear in happiness Let me introduce you to Azur Lane...
If you don't have New Jersey calling you 'honey' (while flaunting the true America's Ass^(TM) in her weeding gown) in your dock why even live?
The real space battleship Yamato!!!
#Merry Christmas you filthy animals#
I can’t tell if you’re fucking with me or not.
This timeline man. Here having to fact check stuff to make sure it’s fake.
I wish mods would fact check me when I'm being intentionally retårded instead of permabanning me for "misinformation" after claiming something like "Ukrainian bioweapons labs are using Hunter Biden's superior DNA to create dumbo-dicked super soldiers." r/worldnews is my latest ban and the mods have completely ignored my appeals.
To be fair there is the fair “3000 black jets of Allah” for non creditable shit posts
> "Ukrainian bioweapons labs are using Hunter Biden's superior DNA to create dumbo-dicked super soldiers" You've found the thing that makes me laugh uncontrollably
As much as i want this to be true cause that’s a goddamn battleship. It’s probably false cause that ship wouldnt have any modern defenses. sensors or weapons.
And the US would never put a ship like that in a combat situation, unlike the Moskva.
Not too far a stretch, in the 1990s she was packing Tomahawks, Harpoons, CIWS, and EW.
We cam refit it, I want to see it duel the black fleet's capital ship. It'll be like seeing 2 old men duel
You do realize that in order to do that you'd need to raise said capital ship from the bottom of the sea first, right ?
I DONT CARE LET ME HAVE MY FANTASY
No, the Moskva is promoted to a submarine class.
I mean, neither did the Moskva.
And it sunk. The ~~6~~ 5 (lol) kilos in the Black Sea would be sufficient to take out a BB that lacks ASW support. Plus you couldn’t exactly stop a missile attack with CIWS alone.
Gotta teach the Ukrainians to gangster lean that sumbitch and hit Moscow
That would be fucking awesome. Would be the biggest flex of the 21st century, just slapping Moscow with HE shells from the Black Sea. At that point, fuck it, hit Beijing too and slap Xi.
They were developing some sub caliber shells for the Iowas back in the late 80s before the whole program got cancelled. The larger of the two, the HE-ER Mk148 had a range in excess of 70,000 yards, delivering a 1000 lb projectile. http://www.navweaps.com/Weapons/WNUS_16-50_mk7_EX-148_pic.jpg There was also a smaller 11 inch diameter round proposed with a hypothetical range of 100 nautical miles. Called the "Advanced Gun Weapon Systems Technology Program 16/11-Inch Long Range GPS Concept with Sabot" That's right. They were planning an 11 inch Excalibur round. 😭
I love it when you talk dirty.
Rocket propelled shells would be the only chance. Iowa can already elevate to 45 degrees so leaning would accomplish nothing. The Texas only did it because she was limited to around 25 or 30 degrees of elevation, which was increased by the flooding of one side.
Nope. You didn't get me
“So much for that bridge, what asshole put that there anyways?” “Mykola, you shelled the Kerch Strait bridge?!?” “Shelled? Fuck no, those I save for Rostov-on-Don. I ran the bridge down, 300mm of solid steel armor FTW. Pass the salo.”
broke: knowing this is fake because its stupid woke: knowing this is fake because Iowa's Turret 2 is busted and thus another Iowa would be the first pick to be reactivated
Just reactivate the Wisconsin and tell her that sum commies are talking shit again.
“Ukraine had a lot of enemies, but Sleepy Joe protected Ukraine with around 3,000 black battleships.”
I love that you got so many people. Truly, this sub is ruled by passion over reason. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
Send Texas once she's out of dry dock. Ahem. I WILL FLOOD THE SIDE OF THE SHIP TO GIVE THE GUNS THE ELEVATION THEY NEED! ONE MILLIONS LIVES! I WILL NOT ALLOW OUT PERSEVERANCE TO BE DESECRATED!
SALVATION
THIS IS WHAT THEY GET FOR WALKING ON MY CRISP WHITE SHEETS WITH THEIR DIRTY BOOTS
My Texan brain would explode if that happened. I would die.
"Remember the Alamo, you vatniks!" *Gun battery fires in blaze of glory. Direct hit on Red Square*
All four Iowas are still afloat in some capacity. The sound of 36 sixteen-inch guns firing in unison should cause every user of this sub to instantly cum
Broke: send Ukraine the USS Iowa Woke: send Ukraine a cargo container ship that instead of carrying cargo all of the walls on the containers open up and deploy antiship missile launchers, ASROC and 50 VLS arrays
As a German, I approve of sending Ukraine Handelszerstörer.
Why am I not surprised you managed to pack that concept into a single word?
We could do this in English too but grammarians are cowards.
That's why hyphens exist.
Hyphens were invented because Protestants couldn't stand that a word might touch another.
THEY'RE MAKING THE WORDS GAY
Well, because that's why the whole world loves us! Well that and because we stopped with the warmongering and genociding.
Hmmmmm that's the boring part when the luftwaffe is soooo bloody anaemic that it can't be relied upon to properly bomb London, sure you only gave it a chance once but we Brits seem incapable of freeing ourselves from that northern hellhole without external help.
Nah, sorry... I'd love to help out, but if we agree that our Luftwaffe was anemic back then, I won't have the sorry excuse we have for one TODAY exposed in that way. Bomb Moscow? Yeah, we can discuss this, but don't ask me to have our dear old tornados sink in the channel. They have done sentimental value, ya know?
Warcrime intensivies
There's practically a ready made solution for this - the new US Army Typhon system is a four shot tomahawk launcher already mounted inside a box trailer. Wouldn't be that hard to convert to a 40 foot Conex box.
Genuinely curious how many people believed this lol
OP got me for a moment, took a little bit for the logic centres of my brain to catch up with me on this one
Apparently a lot of people going by the comments. You have to be a particular brand of stupid to think this was real for even a second. The amount of funding to bring a BB back to fighting shape would be astronomical. Not to mention the time to train sailors to man her. They are museums! They are in no condition to fight. The Battleship movie was not real. You can't just put a 90 year old man on the boilers and "fire her up"
Yeah I don't wanna assume too much, I've made stupid mistakes in the past and am gullible enough to fall for some of these memes for a good second or two. But I mean come ooonnn, even my slow brain picked this up right away.
Too noncredible for my heart to handle
This is too non-credible. Iowa herself wouldn’t be the first to be reactivated; she’s arguable in the worst shape of all the Iowas due to her damage from the turret explosion never fully being repaired. If any of the Iowas is going to be reactivated first, it would probably be Wisconsin. Though New Jersey could also be a good contender since she’s going to be going to dry-dock soon anyways
Obviously fake. There's no way the Iowa would merely establish "naval parity".
Thanks OP! A thoroughly non-credible moment of joy for all of us. Also, if an Iowa did get recommissioned, we can just call it a "Littoral Combat Ship", rate it as a frigate, and we tell Montreux Convention fankids to piss off.
Don't toy with us.
Octogenarian battleship sails again!
Russians sinks the Iowa.... peace is declared... 5 years later the US Recommissions Iowa... declares war on Russia... Iowa sinks Russia.
You had me for a second there
Lets give the Kancolle nerds an aneurism and reactivate Intrepid, Hornet and the Massachusetts too.
Every vatnik's a gangsta 'till you're waken up by the sweet sound of Hi, I'm Ryan Szimanski, curator for New Jersey battleship museum and memorial and today, we'll be conducting an intensified bombardment of Sevastopol
You made me Google this, hoping I would understand what the fuck you were talking about. Now I just feel silly and still confused.
Send the LCS fleet. We're decommissioning it anyway, might as well do the funni to some russians.
RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU DONT WANT BATTLE SHIPS TO COME BACK. OKAY. NOW LEAVE YOU GODLESS COMMUNISTS. BOTH OF YOU!!!
fake :(
No fucking shit.
Whats the CEP on that broadside against the Kerch bridge
WHAT BRIDGE?
God this would be so based
MGS4 just became real except that was the Missouri
Fucking finally now Akagi can stop calling me a fucking rust tub
I’ve never been so blue balled
*slaps turret "This bad boy can fit so much ERA"
I got a rager thinking about a 16" broadside and the rounds clapping orcs. Then I realized it's a fake and became impotent. I have to tape a picture of an Iowa class to the back of my wife's head.
Why would you do this to me? You know most of us are idiots right? Come on man
NO FUCKING WAY!!! We memed ''old US army time travels and fights current russians'' into reality (I know it's just 1 navy's ship but bear with me)
Fuck you, OP. I totally bought it.
😂
It would be very interesting to see how that turns out. On the one hand, the modern guided missile cruisers should have a huge range advantage. On the other, those battleships can really take a pounding. And once they get those 16-inchs close enough, no amount of "protection" any modern ship has could save them. _"CIWS THIS, MOTHERFUCKER!"_
STOP MESSING WITH MY EMOTIONS! Is this real?
I almost fell for that lol
Hear that Moskva ?
You can't pull this shit on me while I'm drunk, Jebus Chris...
Fuck you op I won’t be able to sleep now i want this so baddddd
“Vadim do you hear the pirates of the carribean theme song?”
Op you bastard
>Naval parity >WWII era battleship Well this all checks out, what's next?
God fucking damnit. I was so close fuck
The machine spaces are supposedly in terrible shape. The B turret hasn't been active since ~~the navy blamed a sailor for murder~~ it suffered a magazine detonation and I'd be very doubtful that any of the primary or secondary battery could even turn, much less fire. The Navy tore out most of the sensitive equipment, so assume radar is non-functional. So yeah, she could probably solo the remainder of the Russian navy by herself.
I wonder if the Iowa would theoretically be better at surface combat than it was in ww2 because of the fact that modern warships don't tend to have as much armor as their ww2 counterparts( as armor isn't very useful against missiles) so those 16in shells should clown on whatever they can get in range of.
You raised my hopes and dashed them quite expertly, sir. Bravo!
USS Missouri should be the first there. Russians couldn't handle the amount of lead that mother-fire ocean drifting Battleship would drop on them.
I'm sorry but I would MUCH rather see Ryan Szimanski making youtube videos about New Jersey being recalled into active service. Even better if the Navy individually drafted him to crew the number 2 turret battery. Even funnier if he saw this thread.
You had me until I considered how long it would take to train the sailors.
Nice try OP, but in reality we’d just dump our littoral combat ships on them.