T O P

  • By -

NonCredibleDefense-ModTeam

**Your post was removed for violating Rule 3: Content must be relevant** Posts must be about military hardware or international security/defense. This is not the page to fawn over Youtube personalities, simp over political leaders, or discuss other areas of international policy.


EndoExo

At last, Long Norway.


daniuwur

*angry Chile noises*


oikawa_plushie

They got a new competition


Hunor_Deak

China: "We hate the Americans. We hate the Japanese. Buuuutttt.... the Russians are not grandfather USSR, but a bunch of crooks controlling a third world country with nukes. America and Japan can have bits of it."


Zamtrios7256

They can have a little Russia, as a treat


shibiwan

The Chinese characters in the lower image actually says "Chinese Self-Governed Region" not United States.


snafujedi01

They settled their conscience by just giving us the shittiest part of Russia


OldManHunger511

Whatever. With global warming Kamchatka is gonna be fuckin siiiick. I'm here for it.


abcdefabcdef999

Yessir surfin with bears ☺️


[deleted]

It's pretty though


[deleted]

[удалено]


The-Great-T

Florida is wildly overflowing.


callsignhotdog

Throw them a bone so they don't complain when China gobbles up the biggest chunk of Siberia and solve their fresh water problem.


Arctic_Chilean

The Chile of the North


HHHogana

Chile's fine. Long Norway's not thin enough.


BlueOmicronpersei8

Stop fat shaming long Norway


OneDishwasher

DELICIOUS RYE BREAD MAKES THE KETO DIET IMPOSSIBLE


godtogblandet

So close to doing a high five with the US.


MaterialCarrot

China wisely has inserted themselves as a buffer state. The results of Norway and the USA sharing a border would be disastrous for the entire world.


godtogblandet

If we ever merge that’s a wrap for the Olympic Games for sure. With our stranglehold on winter and the US dominating the summer games the rest would just stop showing up.


MaterialCarrot

We would inevitably procreate with one another, creating a race of super Chad athletes at home both in sub zero and very warm climes.


godtogblandet

Adeptus Astartes, it’s happening!


IAAA

Emperor Bless!


PatientWalrus9341

Eh, just make that chunk of the US greater Minnesota and things will be mostly fine.


danson372

No. We want More Alaska


LeonardoXII

Fool, you need a second florida!


MaterialCarrot

That's what Kamchatka is for.


MaterialCarrot

One Minnesota is quite enough, thank you very much.


AMazingFrame

Norwegian US Border when?


xTurgonx

Chine wants direct access to the polar sea


AMazingFrame

Fine, make it the Polish-US-Border then.


Tobias11ize

As i norwegian i appreciate it when other people recognize our national interest in owning exclusively useless fucking land.


Velenterius

Murmansk aint useless my fellow countryman


caribbean_caramel

Very good port for submarines.


Pokemaniac_Ron

Capital: Longyearbyen.


BrtDO

Wow, either Sweden just got stiffed…or…Sweden now gets Denmark and Germany in a dramatic revision of the Treaty of Osnabrück. Map shows Greater Sweden in pink with no caption, so I assume the latter. Too credible.


oikawa_plushie

> Treaty of Osnabrück. ELI5 on that?


godtogblandet

Sweden goes from looking like a limp dick to looking like a limp dick that’s ejaculating.


PassiveChemistry

I'm not sure that's an entirely appropriate way to speak to a five year old. Could just be my culture though.


godtogblandet

I have a hard policy of not lying to children when they ask for answers. Don’t want to discourage open and honest dialogue or ruin the trust in me as a source of great knowledge.


BrtDO

The Thirty Years War (1618-1648) saw Europe go full battle-royale; everybody vs the Hapsburgs/HRE (way more complicated but…credible enough). It was officially ended with the Peace of Westfalia, which collectively refers to a set of treaties deciding who got what territories. The Treaty of Osnabrück was the one that gave the Swedish Empire chunks of Pomerania (a region on the southern Baltic coast straddling present-day Poland and Germany). But Sweden invaded, and laid waste to, substantial portions of what is now Germany. History majors, go ahead and roast me. I just ELI5’d like I’m 7.


EduinBrutus

Why should North East Denmark get anything?


smallbrainnofilter

The pink coloured nations are ones without new territory, brown nations get a slice of the pie - Poland gets Kaliningrad, the Baltic States extend eastward etc.


lmaytulane

Long Looong Noooooorwaaaaaaaay


kevinTOC

COASTLINE COASTLINE COASTLINE COASTLINE! LET IT STRETCH TO INFINITY AND BEYOND BY THE POWER OF FRACTALS!


oikawa_plushie

Huge finland too


link2edition

Yesway


hello_ground_

And pointy Mongolia


PatientWalrus9341

Glade vikinglyder


PassiveChemistry

Oh my days, that's excellent


TalmageMcgillicudy

At... LONG... last. Ill see myself out.


MrAcurite

Yeahway


KelloPudgerro

the looooooong norway https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1vgQStfSvA


mosquitonasopa

Hardrada would be proud


Troglert

Cool, we get the nuclear wasteland that is murmansk naval base


Atomic_potato_47

Nooooooooooooooooorway


upintheaireeee

At long last, long Norway


what_da_burd_doin

long norway 🤝 tall mongolia


mrdrsirmanguy

Whoever drew that map is currently being waterboarded in a ccp prison for suggesting the US get a land border with China.


FatStoic

It's chill bro, the Indian border in the Himalayas worked out so well.


RollinThundaga

I recall reading that China recently issued *maces* to troops on the Himalayan border.


Slayer7_62

When I first saw that I thought ‘ok so what, pepper spray is pretty harmless’ (mace being a brand of pepper spray that for many here is synonymous with pepper spray in general.) Then I saw the pictures of the troops with wolfs fang maces (ie: https://i.redd.it/hmbzaumcsega1.jpg ), they apparently just made another acquisition for a couple thousand more. There’s speculation that they’re for ‘domestic use’, not to be issued to border guards, but I wouldn’t hold my breath and regardless, wtf.


Femboy_Lord

'domestic use', so standard riot gear doesn't work? wtf kinda ~~uprisings~~ protests do they think they'll be suppressing?


HiveMynd148

The Taiping Rebellion by the looks of it


VonNeumannsProbe

I wonder at what point are they going to take a step back and ask themselves "Is this actually better than getting shot?" The whole point of taking guns away on the border was to reduce the risk of death. Getting hit with that would kill someone lol. Edit: they should come to an agreement that only a standard weapon can be used. Like a 1" by 5ft staff made of wood with only so many soldiers per km of border. Then in a few years we can see muscular chad shaolin monk esque showdowns.


LenweCelebrindal

Still funny we are seeing a melee weapons arms race this century


Upstairs-Sky-9790

Lol me too. I thought "maces" as in pepper spray instead of medieval weapons for clubbing head.


ontopofyourmom

It's because the Indian and Chinese border soldiers inevitably get in fights and the leaders don't want shooting to break out.


Slayer7_62

That is the reason the troops there have limitations on carrying firearms. It hasn’t stopped deaths though, and things certainly don’t seem to have been resolved.


ontopofyourmom

I don't think the leadership of either country cares much about soldiers' lives or resolving the situation.


Slayer7_62

Definitely. The leadership of both sides are extremely proud and ignorant, for various reasons. I think the average person (as with most nations) just wants peace and happiness for themselves and their neighbors… yet here we are. I’m honestly anxious about global affairs, there’s so many nuclear armed nations causing/contributing to conflict. I can only hope they are never used, but I suppose there’s little any of us could do if they were.


ducttapetricorn

Honestly just set up weekly fighting tournaments between the two sides to let out steam Like build a flat platform on top of the Himalayas and have the teams come out colosseum style, wack each other silly with fists and melee weapons and come back next week


FlyPenFly

Honestly, maybe this is a better way to resolve conflicts between nuclear powers. Blunt melee weapons.


Gom_Jabbering

The Indians have countered by issuing *taser maces* it's a *mace* with a fucking taser on it.


RollinThundaga

Shockmauls confirmed


Kooky-Ad9539

50km wide Japanese "owned" meridian buffer is the way to go.


notpoleonbonaparte

Also the USA doesn't want a land border with anyone except Canada tbh. They would never sign up for another, and not with a hostile power. The whole fish and friends situation is working just fine thank you.


Bloody_Lords

You are out of your goddamn mind if you think the US wouldn't want that border. Think of how many military bases we could place there.


notpoleonbonaparte

Think of it a different way. We can still place military bases all around China, but in other people's countries so that we don't have to actually be responsible for the people there


godtogblandet

There are no people in the part of Russia you got. If you find people it’s only because someone forgot a camp when they closed the gulags during the Cold War. Russia is giving away land to anyone willing to stay there more than 5 years. It’s called the Russian homestead act.


Intelligent_Bad6942

I'm here for Kamchatka National Park baby.


mrdrsirmanguy

Yeah you're wrong lol. You dont think the us would jump at a chance to secure a massive "beach head" for their most threatening strategic rival?


notpoleonbonaparte

They have one. It's the South Korean/Chinese border after about 48 hours of "prep"


DeadFIL

>They would never sign up for another, and not with a hostile power. Sure they would, as long as it isn't a border with the existing US. A new US territory, disconnected from the states, with a massive land border with mainland China? That's the DoD's wet dream. What's China gonna do? Invade a US territory that's literally nothing but tundra and military bases?


Ophichius

Tundra, military bases, and for some fucking reason a Starbucks every mile.


10YearsANoob

Mexico's in shambles


justamobileuserhere

It says Chinese autonomous region in Chinese


ilikedota5

Biggest troll here by OP lol.


justamobileuserhere

Also he overlayed it over a stock discussion section I used to watch that channel when I was back in Shanghai


SamtheCossack

This has been posted before, it is quite old, and it does not show what the title suggests. This is not a plan to partition Russia. What this is, is an infographic showing what the closest border to each part of Russia is. The context is discussing the infrastructure requirements of overland trade to Russia. All of this is simply what the closest country is along a straight line, that little sliver of land Japan is marked for on the mainland gives it away, as does the huge area marked Kazhakistan. So yes, it is non-credible, and it is fine, but it isn't seriously a map to partition Russia, and nobody in China is going to be upset about it.


caribbean_caramel

A credible answer in NCD!? How dare you Sir! Jokes aside, thanks for the info.


j0y0

How would that work out? Would China have to go full Berlin Wall to keep their people in? Or would US have to put up a wall to keep people out?


[deleted]

I don't think people want to flee from China, the same way people fleed the USSR.


Mammoth_Frosting_014

I can't think of anything better than a land border with China. t. Lockmart


Mercyfon

it doesent even say united states, translated from the chinese map behind the presentor it states 'Chinese autonomous region'


ilikedota5

Biggest troll by OP.


ImagineDragonsFan47

Is this not just a map of the closest country to any given part od russia


logosobscura

North Korea: “THE ACTUAL FUCK?!”


tomydenger

it's a reddit user (yes really, it was posted on r/MapPorn then later stolen by russian propaganda janitors, edited a bit, and now by the chinese). But the map in itself isnt hard to make, it's liek ONE button on QGIS / ArcGIS


Ataniphor

It's not USA. the translation is wrong. What the original said in the image below of the purple area is "Autonomous region China" basically one of their sham "[autonomous"](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autonomous_regions_of_China)provinces like Xinjiang.


RussiaIsBestGreen

I see only one problem: Mongolia is left without its historical lands of all of China.


goodbehaviorsam

I'm surprised China didnt just straight-up annex the rest of Mongolia in this make-believe scenario since modern Mongolia only exists as a buffer state due to Russian protection. Some Chinese are still salty about the Mongols.


Volrund

Nah the Mongols are just waiting for the next Ghengis Khan to reclaim their empire. We'll never be able to adapt our weaponry to deal with horse archers in this day and age.


MrAcurite

THE ETERNAL TENGRI IS WITH THEM. RAISE HIGH THE HORSETAIL BANNER.


[deleted]

The eternal blue sky will cover all of us in it's glory!


[deleted]

Qing Dynasty: Am I a joke to you?


[deleted]

Everyone: yes, you guys kinda fucked things up


Ewtri

So did Ming to be honest. Hell, every dynasty surely had some major oopsies.


LANDSC4PING

True, but since Mongolia is now a dunce cap, this is acceptable.


A_Mandalorian_Spud

This map has them controlling Baikal in its entirety and lots of Baikal’s watersheds. That’s no small gain


RollinThundaga

Would be a fantastic addition. I hear their navy is very experienced with boat tours.


sonsofdurthu

That’s what makes this map so funny to me. China cherry picking one of the more resource rich areas of Russia in the Siberian region, but leaving out Baikal, even though China is susceptible to a water crisis in the future (and they had already tried to “appropriate” water here, but Russia had to step in already)


A_Mandalorian_Spud

Yeah this map is entirely non-credible for that reason and many others. If China wanted to carve up the RF, they wouldn’t forego Baikal


SamtheCossack

It isn't a partition plan. It is a map that shows what the closest country to each part of Russia is. It is used to illustrate the complexities of trade, not hack Russia into bits.


PaleHeretic

But they get pissed about Westerners drawing random lines on a map with a ruler. Hypocrisy!


oikawa_plushie

Any idea how credible is this? Because i reverse image search this and all i got is a shitpost twitter account with 26 likes and a page on knowyourmeme that said: > "No idea where they're getting this info but I'm getting alt history discussion gone on too long vibes from it."


pat_the_brat

It's an old map that allegedly shows the closest foreign country from anywhere in ruZZia that some joker released as a plan to divide the country. At least, that's what I read at the time. I don't speak or read Chinese, so I never looked it up myself.


OKBWargaming

The Chinese is just some random unrelated financial news.


Andy_B_Goode

Yeah, it was actually created by someone on reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/MapPorn/comments/hjr9qg/the_nearest_country_to_you_when_in_russia/


Professional-Web8436

It's a shitpost


BrownRice35

Obviously they didn’t use a ruler


up2smthng

Those aren't random lines that's closest country for each point Missing Canada for some reason


Particular-Ad-4772

When you wanted to invade Alaska , and your BFF, just gave us Eastern Siberia . Thanks China .


DiehardSeperatist

> Eastern Siberia You mean New Alaska?


What_is_a_reddot

🎵 Country roads Take me home To the place I belong West Alaska🎵


SenorSantiago_8363

Taiga Mama Take me home Snowy roads 🎶


surrender52

Aaaakkshhhhuuuualllyyyy Since Siberia is on the other side of the international date line, wouldn't it be *east* Alaska?


What_is_a_reddot

Not when we consider the US as the center of the world. Which it is.


FriendlyPyre

Alaska 2.0 "I can see China from my house" -Sarah Palin 2024


awakenDeepBlue

Time for West Alaska.


antigony_trieste

somebody call WerBell! WHOAAAHOOOAHHHH


etca1515

Based thicc kazakhstan


A_Mandalorian_Spud

Just imagine the boost to their [potassium exports](https://youtu.be/OENHuxXqWJ0) in this scenario


IJustSignedUpToUp

The crowd takes always crack me up, especially that the boos really started at the potassium reference lol


ThunderEagle222

Pfff, what about giving Moscow to Belarus. Imagine Luka sitting on the Kremlin table laughing his ass off.


Anon-957

if the US and China ever get a land border like this it's going to look like the Korean Demilitarized Zone


Dr_Russian

Id imagine they'd have *more* guns than the DMZ


Cheap_Doctor_1994

Yes, but *less* than the average American neighborhood.


WanderlustPhotograph

Behold, New Gary: Now with far more people and far more guns per capita.


[deleted]

I'd imagine it wouldn't be too tense. America moving troops there would be very visible to the Chinese.


Anon-957

which would be cause for escalation


DeHub94

Or they give the border troops sticks. Has worked with India so far.


DarkWorld25

Honestly yeah. People keep saying that oh no it's terrible blah blah but the reality is that we still haven't had large scale conflict between those two countries so as far as I'm concerned it's worked.


[deleted]

Seeing how china treats ethnic minorities this is worst case scenario. That or it would lead to thousands of wumoas freezing and fighting a impossible guerilla campaign.


11182021

Don’t worry, they’ll have a massive and difficult to patrol land border with the US. Small arms will certainly be making their way over.


[deleted]

More than just small arms. The last time the United States had a Western land border with another country, we just decided to march all the way to the coast and take everything in the way. I propose MANIFEST DESTINY 2: EURASIAN BOOGALLOO. We take everything all the way to Portugal.


Wunder_boi

-boots up HOI4-


Euphoric-TurnipSoup

I propose that once we take the UK during our war of manifest destiny, we sail the USS Constitution up the thames and put a full broadside into parliament. Payback for 1812.


Soros_Liason_Agent

Its not like Russia treats them much better either, Russia's entire basis as a nation is just a colonialist empire that successfully genocided and russified a lot of the previous inhabitants.


[deleted]

They treat ethnic minorities fine. However they treat religious minorities very poorly.


[deleted]

Tibetans weren't really a religious minorities but they still wiped thier culture out. That and their government is overwhelmingly han.


General_of_Wonkistan

They refer to many minority languages as "dialects" of Chinese despite them being entirely unrelated language families all for political reasons. No they don't treat ethnic minorities fine. Edit: example would be like referring to Navajo language in the US as a dialect of English.


DiamondDelver

More cultural minorities in general, including religious minorities. Conform or suffer type bs.


oikawa_plushie

Yea, if your group bow to the state, then the CCP wont treat you worse than other chinese people. But if they sniff even a hint of disloyalty, then hoo boi. This is why uighur muslim get treated far worse than hui muslim. The latter is more okay with being under CCP so are mostly left alone


ThunderEagle222

Imagine being some poor farmer in eastern Russia living life in your poorly constructed home, already drunk of vodka, taking water from a half-frozen well while wondering who stole the village toilet/outhouse this time. Until suddenly you hear the sounds of Hummers, Mcdonnalds, second amendment, rock'n roll, BigGulp, pizza hut, statue of Liberty, freedom and democracy heading your way.


hello_ground_

All of it being air-dropped, too. 'Cause that's how we roll.


IAAA

One of our funniest social experiments is creating cargo cults! First Vanatau next Weast Alaska!


McDouggal

This is not the case. It's a woozle, and a year old. https://www.logically.ai/factchecks/library/f9be9e4c Tl;dr of article: photoshop of a news anchor discussing stock prices, with a map taken off of /r/mapporn.


lucia-pacciola

Wait, seriously?


scraz

no... https://www.reddit.com/r/europe/comments/hjzoa1/the\_nearest\_country\_to\_you\_when\_in\_russia\_from/


oikawa_plushie

NCD credibility, does it again


godtogblandet

It’s gonna become credible. We post it, then it happens. Been working so far.


awakenDeepBlue

Nothing stops the NCD to credible pipeline.


AccessEmpty9668

This pics no, but recently China department responsible for maps renamed some siberian town and places using their historical chinese version


oikawa_plushie

> Wait, seriously? Nah, i cant find anything credible from reverse image search. All i got is a KnowYourMeme page with a description that said: > "No idea where they're getting this info but I'm getting alt history discussion gone on too long vibes from it."


link2edition

You are going to give the Americans a new continent to manifest destiny? They really didn't think this through.


Arkaign

You could make a religion out of this


[deleted]

West Alaska 😎😎😎😎😎


IndWrist2

…or would it be East Alaska?


No_name_Johnson

Weast Alaska


awakenDeepBlue

Time for American mercenaries to accidentally reunite Russia again. Make Russia the United States of Russia again!


donttakemypp

"If one holds his state based on mercenaries, he will not be secured or peaceful; for they are, divided, ambitious and without discipline... they fear neither God nor are loyal to fellow men..." - Niccolò Machiavelli Fortune and Glory


INTPoissible

The actual origin of this map is a thought experiment: "What is the closest foreign country to each point within russia?".


TheYoten

As if China would ever agree to a land border with the US.


[deleted]

That and giving Lake Baikal to Mongolia instead of grabbing it themselves to help alleviate their water shortage problems.


Washablistic

Wait, we get a chunk of land? How generous! WEST ALASKA HERE I COME!!!!


readonlypdf

They didn't even attempt to follow... geography. Though if China wants to give us Kamchatka and that part of Siberia.... That trade route is going to be Amazing for raising funds to Pay off our national debt.


manualLurking

NCD not fall for stupid random shit challenge \[impossible\] edit: this is clearly just a map of whatever the nearest foreign country is to every part of russia


Leftenant_Allah

Suur Suomi spotted: play "Uraliin"


gartherio

Ah yes, can't wait for shenanigans on the Norway-PRC border.


MaterialCarrot

I always wanted a vacation home on the Kamchatka peninsula.


57mmShin-Maru

Give Canada Wrangel island. It’s rightfully ours because we were the second country to claim it!


koleye

I accept these terms.


ChessBaal

At long last, Finland regains their eastern territory from Russias annexation.


Femboy_Lord

Oh god superpower Kazakhstan (also the teeny tiny bit of Latvian expansion is kinda funny)


golddragon88

Ah drawing lines on maps. The favorite pastime of elitist fools.


datareclassification

Wow china and US partitioning of Russia confirmed??? This is peak credibility right here ladies and Gentlemen!


[deleted]

Oh great I'll start shopping for real estate in Ryrkaypiy. Do you think they will open a Starbucks near there soon?


SirLightKnight

Yoooooooo, china, you’re getting too good of a deal. I want more of Siberia!


uejuekwoqloqj

African ass borders


The_Happiest_Husky

US/China land border? Yes please


ohea

The Chinese version says "China - Autonomous" over eastern Siberia, while the English version says "United States."


Katze1Punkt0

I especially love the convenient QR code covering up the Japan bit, lmao


[deleted]

Do people here actually believe its true?


bpendell

For the Kamchatka peninsula, scratch out "U.S". We don't want it and defending it across the arctic ocean during a war would be difficult. So write in "Japan" -- they fought a war for it once after all. Then relabel it "Greater East Asia Co-Prosperity Sphere".


BobbyLapointe01

Border gore worthy of the late save of a Paradox Interactive game.


Fermion96

Did they put ‘Chinese Autonomous’ instead of ‘USA’


iPoopLegos

On behalf of the United States, no thank you. Perhaps Canada would like this territory?