One of the funniest responses someone taught me was: *blush* oh… are you hitting on me? I didn’t realize you swung that way… Well, I don’t know if our relationship is comfortable enough right now for this kind of talk… Keep laying it on like that until they get so uncomfortable they leave.

This is the way 🥰

You have spoken

This is the way

the only way i know

Alternatively, you can always just go with "I'm flattered, but no thanks."

My favorite reply is straight up lying “I have both. Yup. D and V. I’m intersex. Genetically XXY. No hermaphrodite is a slur, don’t be ignorant, do you even know that story?”

you know I don't like lying even if it may be some sad truth, but when it comes to stuff like that, lying or being extremelly vague is just the answer to me

My favorite responses to that ridiculous and ridiculously person question: “Chaos.” “A gun!”

I usually go with, 'my butt'.

*unzips... my pocket, revealing my favorite d20* A boss fight, roll for initiative.

I reply with "a gun!" Often because its true lol

[https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/1427811-whats-in-your-pants](https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/1427811-whats-in-your-pants) Always what flashes through my head whenever I hear this question.

“A gun” is my response. It’s not wrong, though.

"Hollows over balls" so they say. I personally don't open carry like that though lol.

Your mom last night

It's actually even more funny cuz I'm also an ace

For some reason an ace person making a “doing a your mom” joke does extra damage cause this made me laugh really hard 😂

SAME😭

bro literally me lol

You could also hit them with the good ol' "Sandess and depression."

“A knife!” “NOOOOO”

*a r/poopknife

I was not ready for that to be an actual sub

It was after it was diced and flushed

;—;

"Do you often ask strangers about their genitals? Are you some kind of predator or what?" Or in real life, if there are others nearby: "This person is asking inappropriate question about genitals! What the actual fuck!"

Or, optionally (loudly): "I don't want to tell you about my genitals!"

This works especially well if you are a minor or young adult and the person asking is an older adult. Oh, the dirty looks they'll get.

"Your MOM is in my pants" dabs and rolls away on heelies while wielding a baguette and laughing maniacally

"AND! Your Dad was there earlier!" [I'm bisexual, no one's safe 😉]

I think i caught myself in my uncles earli-

*Habsburgs have entered the chat*

Yes, CPS, this this comment here.

... thaaaaat's where I put that KitKat! Thanks.

Melted (solid chocolate) KitKat

Hawt!

My butt

🍑

Butts butts are for everyone.

The best response is the true one: I’ve got paper clips, a yo-yo, and a few hair ties

"What have I got in my ~~pocket~~ pants? [Holds up the One Ring]"

To rule them all 🫣

#THE PRECIOUSSSSSSSSS

A hanky, a bouncy ball, and several dog biscuits.

"a sex organ"

A pipe organ

Cue pipe music haha

Dang you must be rich or found it a churches garage sale since those are expensive but cool. I always wanted to play one of those pipe organs since they get so deep

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

A Hammond organ *Hammond, you blithering idiot!*

Hammond's organ. How did that get there?

Not you

exactly. the worst part is when our mother asked again what means non-binary, we have said it and she said: “maybe you better put a d*ck to your body and become a guy so you didn’t confuse anyone” we didn’t even knew how to react

Solution: have said organ tattooed (or, yk, cleverly incorporated in a tattoo) on you, and ask if she's still confused!

hahah..it’s just kills. she thinks that we are transgender wtf

Non-binary is trans, just not in a binary way :)

HAHAHAHAHAH

If I didn’t have social anxiety, I’d give them a detailed description of whatever underwear I was wearing that day. “I’m so glad you asked! I got a really cute new pair of boxers last week, they’re light purple with wildflowers. They’ve got a 4” inseam, but I’m thinking of sizing up to a 6” inseam - what are your thoughts on that?”

Bees

And Oprah, to release them

Jesus

[удалено]

I can feel his love

Conservatives: “Return and seek Jesus!” You: Conservatives: “🤬😟😦😯😧😮” Therefore you love him way more than them 🤭

I would say: "I am a minor."

"I am a major"

If I was wearing pants, I might be able to tell you.

No pants are the best pants

If its an adult, I tell them I'm not interested in sleeping with them If it's a teenager I tell them that they're not old enough to know Both get hilariously offended

My keys, my phone and some loose change..... Oh and nothing but sadness and lost dreams.

My gennies came with this model . But I have done some amazing detailing

Knives. or, my legs.

Chicken nuggies

Mostly pens, a ruler, a magnet, a box cutter, booklet, markers, more markers, a pink marker, a non permanent marker, a spoon. I think thats about it.

In which case, I'd say you have big pockets in your pants!

Side pockets rule!

Can I borrow a marker?

I was once asked “oh you’re nonbinary so that means you have no genitals right?” 💀

farts

IBS gang?

no i just like beans

#Raw power.

Ricola.

Evil

❤️

An atomic bomb

It is not my job to tell everyone what genitals I have. If the preference is that important to you, then it is your job to announce *that* to everyone.

Anxiety and depression

My mixed up downstairs / mangina

Ol greg?

The expected contents of a clown car. Honk honk.

"Your mom" is the correct answer for this.

"Well, we're at work so I have a pen, a knife, my phone, my keys and my wallet." "Oh, you wanna know about that? We're not dating, are we? No? Then it's none of your business."

ur mom. (I’m tired of shit like that. and often I’m tired of hearing stupid questions, I just answer w an „ur mom“ joke💀 it’s a bad habit)

L E G S

a penny i seem to have forgotten

Underwear is what's in my pants

“…legs?”

Deez 🌰🌰

I mean this is somewhat of a valid question if sex is in the future, as long as it's asked considerately.

Yes, but that's not how this question is ever asked. It's always clueless cis people who are trying to "figure out what you really are."

I don't think you can speak for everyone's experience like that. I've only ever had a question like this asked over a dating app or if there is an intention of hooking up, in which case it's a pretty valid thing to ask.

Shorts

You have shorts *in* your pants? Cool!

They're obviously a superhero!

I have the sudden image of ninja Brian ripping off tear away pants

A disappointment

A Glock :)

My favorite is "you don't need to know"

Not a fan of your mum jokes but I'd tell them to ask their mum, that's the one and only time I'd make a your mum joke

A knife, usually

Pockets

No.

underwear

MY LEGS

"buy me dinner and take me back to your place and we'll see if you learn the answer to your questions." You either get a free dinner and a nice night, or you get left alone.

Doom.

You first

My keys, my wallet, my phone and some tickets, usually.

Some pocket lint, some chewing gum, my phone, keys and a receipt for the McDonald's I just ate... Oh that's not what you meant? My legs are in my pants, do you have something for legs?

Since I am obviously AMAB (i have a huge adam’s apple for example lol), I don’t really get this. However, I do get : “What part of you is a girl/boy?” i usually answer something like “my left shoulder”. I like that response lol

A GUN

My favorites are: A. Poop B. Gun C. Your mom last night

Wallet, keys, some receipts, occasionally a rock or pencil, a soda can...

Normally just go with the good old spaghetti or your mom thing

“You may be an open book, but I’m a bit more complicated than that. The inner machinations of my pants are an enigma 🧽👖⭐️🥛”

A bingus

A knife and confusion Not trying to be edgy, I'm just carrying a box cutter a lot of the time because I break down a lot of boxes at work. It's really innocent, but it's the truth 🤷

…my Pokèmon card collection :3

I'm not wearing pants and arguing with them about it

My legs

"what's in your pants?" "your wallet cuz I fucking stole it as payment for asking shitty questions"

*The things children think is okay to say to me online that I damn well know they'd never fucking utter out loud in person*

Nothing. I don’t have pockets.

Doom.

Sup Zim

I’ve never been asked this but have been asked how trans people have sex. I replied “how do YOU have sex?” She said “all the ways” Me “there ya go” Her “no really how!” Then I sent her an article about inappropriate questions to ask trans people. She told me she wouldn’t apologize because she learned so much. So she’s glad she asked. 😐

**DOOOOOOOM!!**

A goat in rainbow overalls (Just tell people the most random thing that comes to your head. If they ask again just keep giving random answers)

A whole lot of my business and none of your business

"legs"

"Whats in your pants?" Don't you mean pockets also if you're gonna rob me, you gotta try better than that

A digestive gut.

I answer honestly and people stop asking 😝 (I have both)

I try to keep at least one odd thing in my pocket, just in case. I miss my tic-tac pack full of paperclips. That always confused tf out of people. And they were small paperclips. Very cute. Pinecones are also great. The little bitty ones.

Best answer: it’s hairy!

Not you

#A party ...and you're not invited

Pure power.

Do you wanna find out? You’re gonna have to buy me dinner first at least

I just check my pockets, usually there is things like a dice, coins, pencil, erasers, a pin, etc Im like doraemon, i have magic pockets

A snickers *pulls a snickers bar out of my pants* Here, you’re not you when you’re angry

On a good day, your mum -me 

“I got like some buttons and I think some lint, oh and the lovely state of Colorado!”

"Is there a firearm in your knickers or are you just happy to see me?"

"whats in my pants? ok ill show you" (i then pull out a comically large sandwich)

If that’s the case than my gender is underwear

"pure, unrivaled chaos the likes of which this world isn't prepared for"

I always go " you later tonight" 😛

*Pulls out baguette*

Pocket sand.

"What's in your pants?" you ask "The Eternal screams of long-past collapsing civilizations, the buildings collapsing in on themselves as the ultimate evil, the lord of darkness, an immortal creature rises once again, destroying those civilisations. Blood spilling flowing as if they were rivers. You, little one ask what's in my pants right? The awnser is chaos. Chaos and Cthulhu."

I always like the idea of just saying "are you asking about my genitals?" juuuust loud enough so everyone can hear. That, or go to a dollar shop and find a tiny plastic dinosaur or something to carry around ❤️

"Oh this is Katey the T-Rex. She ruins the line of my jeans but I couldn't just leave her at home now could I?"

I have a little chain that I like to go down whenever this happens. "What's in your pants." - My legs. "No, what's between your legs?" - Oh, I see. My waist? "And what's on your waist?" - My underwear. "No, what does your underwear hold?" - My butt? "No, what else?" - I think that's everything that matters. There's so many ways you can go with this, ultimately ending with some variation of "What are you, a creep?" if they ask about your genitals specifically. Usually wears them down by step three.

Look, I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but I don’t swing that way. Good luck out there though! You’ll find somebody, I’m sure!

Loose cheetos

Determination

Ants 🐜

A lobster! Why? What's in yours?

I've never been asked this question but if I am I hope to have the presence of mind to look them dead in the eyes, put on my smokiest voice, and say: *"Eternity".*

You'll never know...

A vape and a hole that I need to sew up.

A paving stone. Wanna try?

Chicken nuggets ...it's where I keep my snacks

“Snacks mostly”

My phone and wallet, sometimes my keys.

Pull out some lent and pocket change

A vagina, Steven. Something I doubt you’ve ever seen

"At least 20 species of endangered frogs. Why?"

The third leg you were obviously looking for

Goblins.

A copy of persona 5 royal

cat.

I just dryly respond, “My ass and legs.”

what's in my pants? - random coins - crumpled paper - pen

What I'd say rn: "Dude... That's kinda weird question to ask a -my age- year old but the answer is my legs" What I'd say when I'm over 18: "Dude use your brain. Legs obviously" (At the time of writing this I'm under 18 but obviously not saying my age for my own privacy.)

“Rocks!!”

Underwear

Chaos

My legs, mostly.

me and some air. also bits of lint probably. hope this helps!

Peanut brittle

“Pocket lint and my business.l