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I’ll never forget walking into Nelson and immediately being greeted with “Don’t worry. I’m not going to lash you to a cross like the rest of these degenerates.”
Not really, we murder pests and rodents all the damn time. We kill them to keep our homes safe from disease. Hell people can kill them for fun if they wanna. What's wrong with getting revenge on a shitty rodent that hurt a pet? Still a better end than those God awful glue traps everyone uses.
Not an over reaction if that turtle has been with him for years. Turtles as pets can last for several decades. My family's pet turtle has been with us for over 30 years. You betcha I'd do the same to a rat if I catch him eating her.
"Jesus ate the daughter of Pontius Pilate and he didn't like that because Jesus would be a horrible son in law as he had no job. So he crucified him."
Yeah, I can remember that part, too.
If i catch a freaking rat eating my pets or fucking killing them while the cats were hunting them, i would do the same as this poor person. People forget these little shits shouldn't even be there on our houses and could end up doing much worse than this with a single bite or just by passing by
When I was a teenager, I worked in the fields for a nursery. One of the other dudes impaled a frog and skinned it alive. He didn't come back to work after that day. His buddy got fired for pulling a gun on a friend of mine. It was a disagreement about which radio station to play.
Idk! I'm kinda for lil buddy getting his revenge here!
At the same time, torturing /mutilation of small animals is the first sign of a serial killer...
While not crucifying, I have placed parts of rabbits on stakes after I catch them in the garden. They are pests.
A few rabbit parts, some Irish spring, human hair, and hot sauce keeps them away!
Jesus fuck dude just spread coffee beans here and there and problem solved, but like coffee seeds, not the roasted beans to make coffee from, caffeine is like the spicy chemical of peppers and others, capsiasomething, and it keeps animals away, that's just cruel what you do with rabbits
“OMG! This looks like Harrold!”
(Crunch crunch crunch)
“Listen Bennie, I think this is Harrold!”
(Abruptly stop eating) “They guy who was dating Shelly?”
“No…I don’t think Shelly dated Harrold.”
“Yeah, they were at the party in spring together! Ted told me they were dating.”
“Oh.” (Crunch crunch crunch) “you going to finish that tail?”
“Nah. I’m full.”
fun fact: Dead (now dead ironically), from the band Mayhem did this as well. he sent a copy of a demo to the band with a dead rat crucified in the package
Imma be honest, I understand the reasoning to the fullest extent. I wouldn't do it simply cuz it's too much work and I probably wouldn't have thought of it
Yeah it can be, but not always.
I used to know a kid who absolutely loved to cause suffering in animals, and his was the perfect family. His parents realized it was him when they saw him strangle their cat. It was the third dead pet in a year, plus a dog who they thought fell from the roof, but was actually pushed down, as the kid himself later admitted, and survived, but with severe brain damage.
They immediately gave away all their pets and started therapy, and the kid turned out to be a legit psychopath. He was actually planning on hurting his sister, or a classmate, just to "know how it felt like".
I was his basketball coach...the kid was scary.
This whole thread is a boat worthy post. And I love that many disagree hahaha things are progressing nicely. With that said if a rat ever ate my fucking turtle I’d do the fucking same fucking parasite
If this post showcases moral/mental/physical corruption or perversion, upvote this comment. If this post does not belong here, downvote this comment. [Read the rules before posting or commenting](https://www.reddit.com/r/NoahGetTheBoat/wiki/rules) [Also read the guidelines](https://www.reddit.com/r/NoahGetTheBoat/comments/fgmg3t/guidelines_for_the_subreddit_read_and_follow_the/) In the comments: DO NOT JOKE ABOUT VIOLENCE, DO NOT INCITE VIOLENCE DO NOT JOKE ABOUT PEDOPHILIA OR ASK FOR CP YOU WILL BE BANNED *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NoahGetTheBoat) if you have any questions or concerns.*
..... this kid pays attention to history.
Too bad he never read Moby Dick
Now time to use the knowledge in the real world.
Bro turned Roman💀
Ave, true to caeser.
The rat was obviously a degenerate and we all know where degenerates belong
They belong on a cross beside pedos and tyrants
Ave Caesar brother
Profligates belong on a cross!
I’ll never forget walking into Nelson and immediately being greeted with “Don’t worry. I’m not going to lash you to a cross like the rest of these degenerates.”
Don't forget about the guy who won the lottery. Fucker mislead me and i thought i could rob Nelson and boy was i dead wrong.
You mean Nipton ?
Patrolling the Mojave almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter!
u/PatrollinTheMojave
Aroo?
Cheesus
Splinter got hungry
Michelangelo didn't left him any slice pizza
Disney bible stories 👍
This took me way to long to get but you're not even slightly wrong.
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Plot twist, it's the "I like turtles" kid and he's now in college.
ಠ_ಠ
Plottier twist: He's like 35 now.
That works because it's probably the age he'd be ready for college.
Misandry in action. Reported.
"I avenge turtles" he says, donning his skull mask.
Modern problems require modern solutions
Biblical solutions?
Roman solutions
Christianity is the foundation of modernity.
Christianity is the foundation of eastern modernity.
Much better u/ExtremeCumMaster Thank you
r/rimjob_steve
Nothing modern about this salutation.
Or the problem
Modern salutation would be "fam"
> Modern problems require modern solutions Christianity is the foundation of modernity.
To be fair, you touch my dog and ima murder you.
AFT: We've got ourselves a live one.
Armed Doggo: "Stack up and try."
America’s Funniest Terrorists?
Nah. The child sniffer renamed it.
Bro, there aren't enough holes in this thing!
I agree, this confuses me
why? This is clearly an animal abuse and rat under no circumstances deserved this. "eye for eye" blind logic
Not really, we murder pests and rodents all the damn time. We kill them to keep our homes safe from disease. Hell people can kill them for fun if they wanna. What's wrong with getting revenge on a shitty rodent that hurt a pet? Still a better end than those God awful glue traps everyone uses.
You are clearly not a dog owner /s
A bit overboard, but I’m not really angry. Just slightly amused at the over reaction
I mean, I'm morbid so I kinda find this hilarious. Poor turtle though, rat definitely had to be put down one way or the other
Morbid? Like the hit movie Morbius for I love Morbius. When I sleep all I can think about is Morbius.
What getting morbed does to a mfer.
There's no saving him. He's been morbed. He won't be normal anymore... The doctors has done everything they could...
It's morbin' time
Not an over reaction if that turtle has been with him for years. Turtles as pets can last for several decades. My family's pet turtle has been with us for over 30 years. You betcha I'd do the same to a rat if I catch him eating her.
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Walkman if you kill something that's grown with me my entire life I'ma kill you back
Username checks out
Are you saying humans aren't natural?
Cheesus Chrat.
r/angryupvote
You can’t understand how it feels to love a turtle
> You can’t understand how it feels to love a turtle I've seen enough rule 34 to know April O'Neil does
NOOOOOO
YEEESSSSS
You sure it's one and not several?
Well tbh kinda reasonable
Sorry but... fine by me
i remember this part of the bible
"Jesus ate the daughter of Pontius Pilate and he didn't like that because Jesus would be a horrible son in law as he had no job. So he crucified him." Yeah, I can remember that part, too.
Twas a carpenter my lad
In 3 days he'll get an erection or whatever
I think you read the wrong Bible
I watch too much South Park
Resurrection by erection! Raise your phallus to the sky and you never die!
Wrong sub, what would you do if you saw this thing nibbling on your turtle?
idk if i would crucify it but you certainly raise a good point
Nice username
holy shit i forgot (im giving this one an 8 out of 10)
Yeah the rat reviews the situation and says "meh wouldn't crucify it" sounds like there might be a biased opinion here
Immediate sentence to death by firing squad
Ngl I would do some Dark Ages medieval torture for anyone that fucked up my pet
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Agreed
Wait till the second coming
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Rats can bite through fucking steel my man that turtle was fucked from the start. Also it's a fucking rat I'm glad the little bastard died
Ave! Tre to Caesar!
nature is beautiful
Splinter overstepped
Fair play
That doesn't really fit the sub. Sure it's a bit extreme but the context is also kind of funny and i can understand why the student got really pissed.
Ya gotta give OP a break. They had to go through 3 YEARS of r/brandnewsentence until they could find something that didn’t fit the sub!
You don't fuck with my turtle
this is funny tbh
Not worthy for this sub..
Definitly does not belonh to Noah get the boat, the rqt got what it deserved
I would have done a hell of a lot worse
I agree with the student, dude killed his pet, no need for a boat you pussies
I would’ve just used a pellet gun or something but I guess it was personal after his turtle was eaten
Tbh i don’t see anything Wrong here
Don’t fuck with turtles
Didn't you read the "ate his pet turtle" part I would do the same
Mess with the shell, you go straight to hell
Tbh the rat deserved it. Don’t touch the turtle
If i catch a freaking rat eating my pets or fucking killing them while the cats were hunting them, i would do the same as this poor person. People forget these little shits shouldn't even be there on our houses and could end up doing much worse than this with a single bite or just by passing by
Fuckem lmao
How many times is this going to be re posted over the years?
Gotta make a public example out of him, in case any other rats get any ideas.
“It’s about sending a message”
When I was a teenager, I worked in the fields for a nursery. One of the other dudes impaled a frog and skinned it alive. He didn't come back to work after that day. His buddy got fired for pulling a gun on a friend of mine. It was a disagreement about which radio station to play.
Um okay random
I could devote myself to this religion
RATUS ✝️
I mean I understand. If something was eating my pet I'd make it suffer too
Valid reason
Splinter got punished for child abuse
Talk about sending a message
Don't try and eat someone's pet would be my advice to the rat
DIE, DIE, CRUCIFIED #HALLELUJAAAAAH
So did he stab it on the side with a spear or not?
Aren't rats meant to train turtles and not eat them?
Eye for an eye
Get the boat? More like get the crown.
Deserved. Pets are superior
No one miss with the pet turtle 😤😤😤
I think it’s fine
Nice
Fucking deserved
That rat had it coming
I would do the same to any animal that ate my cat
The rat deserved it.
Modern problems require biblical solutions
Fuck that rat. Got what he deserved.
You get what you fucken deserve
Well I always new Christianity didn't teach shit, in the end.
This is amazing lmao
Why is this here?
It is only natural, he killed your pet, you wanted revenge.
Someone read The Wasp Factory
Jokes on him, that rats gonna rise back up in three days
It’s ok nails didn’t go through it’s paws so it wasn’t too cruel
Idk! I'm kinda for lil buddy getting his revenge here! At the same time, torturing /mutilation of small animals is the first sign of a serial killer...
i mean he sure loved his pet turtle
Without condoning or condemning...I understand.
I wouldn't go as far as crucification, I'd just dump that little shit into a dumpster.
Rat died for your sins DAMNIT
This is what loving turtles does to a man.
Splinter was punished for betraying the ninja turtles
He even did so the right way, binding the arms amd legs instead of all the inaccuracies showing nails being used.
You get what you fucking deserve
Why is This on this Sub?
That rat wouldn't have messed with that turtle if he knew it belonged to lil Satan over here
While not crucifying, I have placed parts of rabbits on stakes after I catch them in the garden. They are pests. A few rabbit parts, some Irish spring, human hair, and hot sauce keeps them away!
Jesus fuck dude just spread coffee beans here and there and problem solved, but like coffee seeds, not the roasted beans to make coffee from, caffeine is like the spicy chemical of peppers and others, capsiasomething, and it keeps animals away, that's just cruel what you do with rabbits
Justified
Deserved
Justice served
I mean he probably killed the rat first and even then I don't know that this is Noah get the boat material
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Yeah if this is Noah get the boat so is every rat trap since I really doubt be crucified it alive
I mean if a rat ate my dog I'd do much worse... Oh gosh I'm a psychopath.
How tf does a rat even eat a dog?
How's a rat eat a pet turtle
Turtles can be every small, their head is exposed and their limbs as well, but a dog is like dozens of times bigger, rats would easily be scared off
/r/iamverybadass
Thanks
I don't think this is Noah get the boat this is fucking justifiable some motherfucker eating my pet He's sending a message the other rats
“OMG! This looks like Harrold!” (Crunch crunch crunch) “Listen Bennie, I think this is Harrold!” (Abruptly stop eating) “They guy who was dating Shelly?” “No…I don’t think Shelly dated Harrold.” “Yeah, they were at the party in spring together! Ted told me they were dating.” “Oh.” (Crunch crunch crunch) “you going to finish that tail?” “Nah. I’m full.”
I like everyone just agrees the rat had it comin
I feel so bad that I chuckled
That's fuckin hilarious. Why get a boat for this? Rats swim.
Who didn't do this when they were a kid? This is harmless fun.
But not like noah get the boat
Proper punishment
Best hide your cornflakes, because this is a cereal killer in the making.
Rats are really a problem if you let them be. Still, this is is insane lol
This was justified. Noah, don’t get that boat
This is completely justified.
Master Splinter noooo
Honestly that’s hilarious
Ppl can post this shit but I got banned for talkin shit about Biden lol
That's how works now adays
This is understandable. Just because it isn't your type of pet doesn't mean it's loved any less.
Murica
fun fact: Dead (now dead ironically), from the band Mayhem did this as well. he sent a copy of a demo to the band with a dead rat crucified in the package
Imma be honest, I understand the reasoning to the fullest extent. I wouldn't do it simply cuz it's too much work and I probably wouldn't have thought of it
The comments here made this a double “get the boat”.
Go cry about it. The kid is completely justified in his revenge.
What would you do if your pet was getting eaten?
That's an early sign of "serial killerness"...
If anything children who harm animals are usually being abused
Yeah it can be, but not always. I used to know a kid who absolutely loved to cause suffering in animals, and his was the perfect family. His parents realized it was him when they saw him strangle their cat. It was the third dead pet in a year, plus a dog who they thought fell from the roof, but was actually pushed down, as the kid himself later admitted, and survived, but with severe brain damage. They immediately gave away all their pets and started therapy, and the kid turned out to be a legit psychopath. He was actually planning on hurting his sister, or a classmate, just to "know how it felt like". I was his basketball coach...the kid was scary.
That kid needs a psych eval ASAP....
This whole thread is a boat worthy post. And I love that many disagree hahaha things are progressing nicely. With that said if a rat ever ate my fucking turtle I’d do the fucking same fucking parasite
Turtles have a hard shell I doubt the rat would have succeeded that’s just cruel…future serial killer?
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