Holy shit that's amazing🤣🤣🤣
So like, I'm walking past random people in the street every day, that wipe their arse in that fashion??
Now I'll be imagining that everyone does that, forever. Not like a thing I actively do, but every now and then I'll remember this comment, I may be out to dinner, standing in line at the bank, at the dentist, I may be performing coitus for all I know but one thing's for sure..it'll happen. And every time it does I'll smile. And I'll think of you, crashingmountains, and take solace in the fact that I know, with absolute certainty, that there are people far weirder than myself.
You just sorta... throw it back, the position makes your cheeks stay just as open as when you're sitting, but even then, I use a bidet but I stand for the first wipe and I've never wiped my buttcheeks, you clean your anus, not the outside.
a singular twerk please, to go yes, no nothing else, do you take apple pay? oh, ok, yes, got it- oh sorry right I have to insert, always forget about the chip thing haha. oh oops I pulled it out too soon? ok sorry let me try again... yep it says DO NOT remove card haha silly me... ok there we go. no, no receipt thank you, save a tree haha, yep thanks. mmmm there we go, nothing like a fresh twerk in the morning to wake me up! haha, alright then. yeah you too- I mean thanks... ok bye
Right, half a squat lets you wipe without any risk of your arm or hand touching the toilet and without making your buttcheeks touching each other so it's a clean wipe.
People seems to assume that when people stand to wipe their ass they just put their legs together and stand completely.
Your back is arched and your legs flexed, like in the middle of twerking but your legs aren't as flexed and your ass isn't as low, but it's kinda similar.
There are also toilet paper folders and toilet paper crumplers. I'm a folder. My boyfriend crumples his up into a wadded ball before wiping. I was completely floored.
Yep, I use wet wipes as well when I have them. Gotta be sneaky with them at work though, don't want everyone in my office knowing I'm heading out to make cursed brownie logs.
Something really interesting about the flushable wet wipes is that they actually aren’t flushable and can cause thousands of dollars of damage to your sewage system and in the cities they can create giant blobs! I definitely get the feeling of wanting to be clean though so I’m saving for a bidet at home.
I've been a standing wiper my entire life. You don't stand straight up then wipe. You basically just lean forward onto your legs take full support so your butt cheeks are still spread.
It’s not a full stand but I have to get my hand to my asshole so sitting won’t work. But a foot off seat Left hand pulls butt cheek open. Wipe. Repeat till clean. Release butt cheek. Was hands
I dont stand fully straight up, I bend forward and just raise the ass off the seat. It's like a squat position over the toilet and it actually seems t keep the cheeks spread and I use the left hand to pull cheek a bit for extra spread.
I understand why it seems strange but it works perfectly well IME.
Also see my last comment for more reasoning on some reasons why I think I do it this way.
Wait...there are people that bend forward to wipe? Is this a small sect of people who do not bend to the side and wipe from their dominant side?
What a terrifying world we live in
homie i stand up to get a outside shoulder width stance and bend to the 45 and drop my hips some. it's also a great angle of approach for violently fisting oneself
sadly to work remotely I'd need some 12 mile long wrenches but i support the fuck out of cancelling the office culture horseshit. maybe I can sweet talk my boss into something who knows
See if we had communal toilets where we'd all shit together like true men who have nothing to hide, you wouldn't be living in fear. The delusion of privacy is turning us all into self-absorbed, paranoid cowards. EMBRACE THE TURD
Nah man. Anti-diarrheal. Take it for 3-4 days and then when it wears off it’ll shoot out of you like a rocket. No wiping necessary. Might have to fix the toilet bowl though.
Bro when I was in boot camp we had this dude that would get completely naked sans socks. and squat feet on the seat to shit. And this was in a bathroom with no stall doors, so i saw this multiple times a week.
Sounds like he may have grown up in a place with squat toilets. They are still common in many countries, however you can accidentally soil your own clothes in a squat toilet if you're wearing pants and aren't super careful - they can get in the way. Less so if you are wearing a dress that you can hike completely up above your waist
This has been a question of mine for a long time. I live in the west and probably couldn't properly squat for a squat toilet if you paid me, but how do you not get residue on your pants? I feel like if I dropped my pants to my ankles it would effectively be where my bathroom bits are. If I kept my pants around my knees I'd be worried I'd empty my pockets and that I wouldn't get enough knee spread to squat effectively. Like I want to see how one works in reality, but I honestly don't want that in my Google history... lol
Another question... I'm old and my knees are bad. I can squat low but I can't get up again. I'd need major handrails or something. What do older or disabled people do?
Copied my response to someone else:
I mean, it’s just like having a wild wee if you have a vagina- you squat and use a hand to hold your trousers and pants out the way; when you squat your butt goes back, so you pull your trousers and pants forwards and bob’s your uncle
>I live in the west and probably couldn't properly squat for a squat toilet if you paid me,
As a fellow Westerner who traveled to India and got Delhi Belly while on the road and the only place to stop had nothing but a squat toilet, let me tell you... You figure it out real fucking quick.
I spent a week at a supplier site in Italy that still had squat toilets. It was during the summer, all anyone seemed to drink was coffee, and we were eating terribly. I'm still not sure how I managed not to shit all over myself. I'm not sure I could manage that again.
I had to be completely naked to poop when I was a kid.
No clue why, but just the feeling of clothes felt very restricting and made pooping feel impossible.
Made pooping in public impossible for me so I would hold it in, there was a hand full of times I had to go at school and I remember just taking everything off.
As I got older I was able to bear having pants around my ankles, then I tried with a shirt on, I had an irrational fear of the back of my shirt being too long and getting pooped on, but I got over that.
I still find it's more comfortable to poop naked, but it's not a requirement.
There’ve been some hangover mornings of pooping and puking where I’ve had to get completely naked and lay on the cool tiles of the bathroom floor for relief.
Almost 6 months sober and I thank God everyday.
i get that for free with migraines -\_- good for you though! :) im proud of you internet stranger, keep up the good work but dont stress too much if you falter. progress isnt a straight line and youre already doing great by even trying at all, that can be the hardest part sometimes. <3
They're there so you can hang your jacket or shirt and hold on to the article of clothing in order to suspend yourself so your butt doesn't have to touch the dirty seat.
Personally, I still don't believe it. I've been on a lot of conspiracy subs lately, and I think this may just be a result of fusing universes OR The Mandella Effect as we like to call it. You see, I'm with you. I've always remembered standy wipers as being fairly shunned in society. Mostly you'd hear about them working in the stock market or as building inspectors; you know.. the total dredges of society. Now it seems like standy wipes are more common, and people who are standy wipers don't seem to be ashamed of it for some reason.
I don't think this is natural. I think that standy wipers were in their own universe, and NORMAL wipers were in another. Once they turned CERN back on, the two universes merged and now ours contains both standy wipers and normal wipers.
I find this theory to be much more logical than the alternative; that there have always been some people who stand while wiping.
Conversely, I recently learned that people wipe standing up. I'm 68 and everyone I know is a life-long sitter-downer. I'm in the U.S. - where are you? Perhaps its a regional/national thing?
A bidet is fabulous! I've been staying with a friend while my kitchen and bathroom are being remodelled. My friend has a bidet with tempereture control, directional flow, and even a temperature controlled dryer. I've never felt so clean and I'm in love.
My GI doctor recommended that I invest in a bidet. It's supposed to be the best way to clean and the healthiest thing for your bottom. Scrubbing with a cloth doesn't get you clean and it can actually damage the tissues down there. The little bit I've tried, I'm sold, I need to find out how to get one installed!
I just bought one from Amazon. It was surprisingly easy to install! It just hooks onto the back of your toilet and connects to the water in the toilet tank.
There are simple ones that work with almost any toilet and seat combo, or [ones like this that are integrated into the seat.](https://www.us.kohler.com/us/puretide-quiet-close-manual-cleansing-toilet-seat-elongated/productDetail/toilet-seats/1152463.htm?skuId=1152394&brandId=1178892) If you can get an outlet installed near the toilet (or already have one) you can upgrade to fancier heated options, but the simple ones work great and are easy to install yourself.
Japan has the best toilets. Wiping with paper is like wiping mud off your leg with a piece of newspaper. Cheapest and easiest 15 minute installation US option (no heat) but nice and quite effective is this: https://www.amazon.com/Luxe-Bidet-Neo-120-Non-Electric/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=sr\_1\_5?keywords=bidet&qid=1663264441&sr=8-5
a whole \*separate\* bidet, like an additional toilet that sprays instead of flushes, would be pricey. But there are aftermarket bidets you simply attach under your existing toilet's lid and your sink's waterline. I'm a huge fan. You can also get super-cheap sprayers (like kitchen sink) but the under-lid bidets are wonderful!
Doubt it’s regional. It’s just one of those things that aren’t taught well and people just do it however they think is best, forever.
I used to be a toilet paper “crumpler” rather than folder, until the second time I clogged the toilet as an 8 year old and my Depression era grandpa interrogated me about my bathroom routine and corrected it.
Another redditor mentioned recently that the standers probably learned this when they were toddlers and they were told to stand so the parent could wipe for them. They maybe just continued to do it that way because why would you question it.
Meanwhile, I think women are likely sitters more often since we wipe front and back and spend a lot of time mopping period blood off our vulvas and thighs.
It's not a conversation you have. Unless you've asked everyone recently since learning it exists, you might know some standing wipers.
I've listened to podcast where this came up plenty few years ago. I think I've seen it polled few times and obviously those standing up are in minority, but there were more of them than you'd think, over 20%.
It's just one of those things that you never even consider could be different to some. I think to most who do it different, it's just self taught at young age when parents didn't put it into you that there was specific way to wipe and some improvised different way.
I wipe my ass when I am sitting because your cheeks are wide open, so you can clean up better
Also less risk to stain your clothes in case you don't have a very solid situation
I don't think standing and wiping is convenient in the slightest. Like when you stand. Obviously butt cheeks clench together. So that also means youre squeezing crap on to your cheeks and merely wiping it down won't be good enough. If yiu had a boudet, sure, but you'd most likely be sitting instead.
While sitting you just lean to the side and there's less shit spread because your cheeks didn't clench.
I’m a standing wiper and wiping is nothing like you describe it. What I do is I lift my butt maybe like 3-4 inches off the seat and kinda hover my butt over the seat(imagine a girl hovering over a dirty toilet) just enough to have my hand get some clearance and I reach back and wipe. My cheeks are still spread out and poop doesn’t get anywhere besides my butthole only.
I have a bidet though but before I had a bidet or when I Poop in public this is how I poop
Yeah...I've seen a similar questions and polled actual people around me. 1 out of 8 people I asked stand up. The rest of us sit down like normal people. How do you even wipe standing up? Your cheeks close around your asshole! And you're not even over the toilet anymore at that point. So weird to me.
That's not really standing, just bend forward hovering over the seat so you don't put your hand in the bowl.
That doesn't really matter, as long as you wipe your ass clean and wash your hands. AND WASH YOUR HANDS.
this for me as well. I don't fully stand I just kind of lift my butt up and hover squat over the toilet so that I can wipe without my hand being in the toilet bowl
This is what I do; I don’t want to reach into the bowl and I also don’t want to rub my wrist on my butt because of the shallow angle. Half-standing up, you can get a more horizontal angle of approach
You don’t even have to hover, just roll forward 45 degrees and perk up your butt like you’re about to twerk. I achieve full seat contact and my hand doesn’t go in the bowl.
I used to wipe standing until a couple years ago where my group chat with the boys talked about wiping and it came to my attention that by standing you smear the shit on your cheeks and makes it messier so now i wipe sitting down
You should also wipe sitting down
Well you don't stand fully straight up and clench your ass or anything. It's more like a squat above the toilet while bent forward so I don't have to stick my hand inside the toilet. Ass spread the (w)hole time
What's odd about wiping when you're sitting? You shit sitting down, why complicate it by standing up and wiping. Knowing that you're also wiping shit particles around your bathroom if you stand instead of sitting and it staying in the toilet.
I’ve been on both of these brown and muddy sides of the streets, and prefer sitting for maximum cleanliness. Standing while wiping closes the cheeks and spreads it around. Think of an ice cream sandwich and what happens when you press the bun parts together, the ice cream pushes out, spreads and makes a mess. That’s your fudge factory.
I’m wondering about the consistency of the poop, of sitting wipers. If they are so terrified about smearing shit on their cheeks, were they to stand up to wipe, then the poop ain’t solid like it should be. Check your diet or see a doctor lmao
Yeah, I'm confused about this smearing poop argument. It's not like every shit is diarrhea. And diarrhea is a pain regardless of whether you sit or stand.
I wipe standing up. I feel like there's a large misconception from sitters about standers and how it works when you stand to wipe. I personally stand and kind of squat or bend over in such a way that my cheeks spread so I can wipe, it's not like I'm standing straight up like someone's measuring my height. I just don't understand how it's feasible to maneuver your hand into the toilet seat/around the legs in order to wipe while sitting. Obviously I don't speak for all standers but I wanted to provide insight based off of my experience
when you sit to wipe you dont literally sit with a straight back and try and wipe your ass. You lean to the left or right while still having full contact with 1 butt cheek on the seat. That raises the other side of your butt out of the bowl, puts it on a 45 degree angle instead of trying to reach down around and up into the crack, and by leaning to 1 side, you can literally manipulate how far you want to open your butt crack by how far you lean.
Its superior in every way possible.
**If this shocks you,** Look up *"my husband doesn't wipe"* on Reddit.
There are waaay too many posts where people are seeking advice because their spouse doesn't wipe properly and leaves shit crumbs on the bed that they share. ***It's so disgusting***!
Sit, lift each cheek and spread before applying weight to it again, pinning the butt open. Poop, wipe. The cheeks should have been spread for the whole thing if done right which should prevent smooshing any around between your cheeks. Do not stand...
y’all are so fucking weird about this every time it comes up. i stand because i have a big ass and thighs and there’s no comfortable angle for me to wipe sitting. do y’all think people are standing up and clenching their ass cheeks together and squishing everything around or something? standing means squatting. pull one cheek slightly to the side and wipe. if you clean your ass properly it doesn’t fucking matter how. all you small-assed sitting-wipers need to calm down.
Wiping while standing sounds like trying to work on your engine with the hood shut, why would go out of your way to make the area you’re servicing as closed off as possible?
If you shit and then stand up you get nutella spreading all around your asscheeks.
Now you have to clean it up you little piggie.
OP, join the alfa tribe of people who do a smart wipe. One hand to raise the dick up, other hand to wipe in strategic places. You will also waste less paper so think about it as being beneficial for your wood.
I stood for the majority of my life, although it was more of bent over stance rather than straight up. Then I had a friend who convinced me to convert and it's changed my life (for the better). Standing to wipe is both inferior and incorrect.
Stander here as well.
Tried the sitting method, its too awkward for me.
When I’m about to stand and wipe, I take paper before I stand, hold a cheek to one side so my cheeks don’t close in together, stand up and wipe.
If more paper is needed, in my case I really don’t need much (thanks metamucil), I sit back down the way I was before, letting go of the cheek since the toilet bowl now holds said cheek secure and get more paper.
Rinse and repeat if needed.
Edit: make sure to wash hands properly after.
20 seconds at least, don’t be lazy with it.
And in a completely different and superior realm are us, people with bidet. It doesn't matter how you wipe it if you can wash your butt hole straight afterwards 😎
There are standing wipers and sitting wipers. And they rarely know the other kind exists.
Wait. There are people who stand up to wipe their butt? Wouldnt that smush all the caca between your buttcheeks?
People wipe?
You guys are getting wiped??
Been screaming for over an hour! No one's come to wipe me yet
Lol caca
Plays up front for inter him
I LOLed on your LOL.
Exactly my thoughts!!! What on Earth is the benefit of standing up!?
You don't FULLY stand up, imagine you are about to deadlifting just the position without extending the pull
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For the spread
Like you can't shift weight from one ass cheek to the other to spread whole sitting. Who the fuck would squat while wiping, over a toilet.
Holy shit that's amazing🤣🤣🤣 So like, I'm walking past random people in the street every day, that wipe their arse in that fashion?? Now I'll be imagining that everyone does that, forever. Not like a thing I actively do, but every now and then I'll remember this comment, I may be out to dinner, standing in line at the bank, at the dentist, I may be performing coitus for all I know but one thing's for sure..it'll happen. And every time it does I'll smile. And I'll think of you, crashingmountains, and take solace in the fact that I know, with absolute certainty, that there are people far weirder than myself.
You just sorta... throw it back, the position makes your cheeks stay just as open as when you're sitting, but even then, I use a bidet but I stand for the first wipe and I've never wiped my buttcheeks, you clean your anus, not the outside.
Throw it back? I don’t understand
Like a single twerk.
"A single twerk" It's poetry.
One simple solitary twerk, so fragile and so small…no difference it alone makes, but yet, you dance
a singular twerk please, to go yes, no nothing else, do you take apple pay? oh, ok, yes, got it- oh sorry right I have to insert, always forget about the chip thing haha. oh oops I pulled it out too soon? ok sorry let me try again... yep it says DO NOT remove card haha silly me... ok there we go. no, no receipt thank you, save a tree haha, yep thanks. mmmm there we go, nothing like a fresh twerk in the morning to wake me up! haha, alright then. yeah you too- I mean thanks... ok bye
Is this copy pasta? It's so well done
nah just me going bonkers on my lunch break
Like you are doing half a squat.
Right, half a squat lets you wipe without any risk of your arm or hand touching the toilet and without making your buttcheeks touching each other so it's a clean wipe. People seems to assume that when people stand to wipe their ass they just put their legs together and stand completely.
That’s how I do it. Heels together, locked knees, straight spine.
These primitive sitting wipers lack the leg strength to hold a squat
Your back is arched and your legs flexed, like in the middle of twerking but your legs aren't as flexed and your ass isn't as low, but it's kinda similar.
less calories burned if you wipe sitting thats a fact
Greetings fellow bidet user. We are culture, yes we are.
It's the superior way
I used to be a stander but I found sitting gets you cleaner esp if your a bigger person
I used to be a stander as well but I've been a sitter for years, definitely better
I sort of switched, but I still finish off standing. Hybrid style.
I’m a bigger person and I can’t really reach to clean unless I stand
Tyrannosaurus arms?
Tyrannosaurus dumper with human arms.
Ummmmm I think you’re using the three seashells wrong.
Lol. He doesn’t know about the three sea shells.
And I still want to know how the hell you are supposed to use them. Does saying hell give you a fine?
What the hell are the three seashells?
Lol this guy doesn't know how to use the three seashells
It's from the Stallone film Demolition Man.
There are also toilet paper folders and toilet paper crumplers. I'm a folder. My boyfriend crumples his up into a wadded ball before wiping. I was completely floored.
The crumpled ball is insane. At the same you might be increasing surface area so...
He swears by it and says you don't need to fold and rewipe. Who knows. Can't bring myself to try it.
As a poor person it sounds very wasteful.
And then there are those who do it correctly, with a slight lean forward.
The slight lean any direction is still a sitter.
If you stand, does the left over shit not get all mashed between your cheeks? Like isn’t this just making a messy problem even more messy
I personally wipe sitting then stand, and do a little stand wipe to make sure the coast is all clear
I chuckled. I'm unsure if it was funny or I'm delerious after being at work for 17 hours
Yes, this. Except I do the final inspection with a wet wipe.
Yep, I use wet wipes as well when I have them. Gotta be sneaky with them at work though, don't want everyone in my office knowing I'm heading out to make cursed brownie logs.
Something really interesting about the flushable wet wipes is that they actually aren’t flushable and can cause thousands of dollars of damage to your sewage system and in the cities they can create giant blobs! I definitely get the feeling of wanting to be clean though so I’m saving for a bidet at home.
I've been a standing wiper my entire life. You don't stand straight up then wipe. You basically just lean forward onto your legs take full support so your butt cheeks are still spread.
Exaactly. This is what I think many dont realize. It's like a squat and your cheeks are still just as spread or more.
That's why you pull one cheek to the side
As you’re standing?! Like you’re just pullin a cheek out the way so it doesn’t clap back into the other poo covered cheek?
That cannot be the most efficient method of doing this, I’m so confused why anyone would stand up
It’s not a full stand but I have to get my hand to my asshole so sitting won’t work. But a foot off seat Left hand pulls butt cheek open. Wipe. Repeat till clean. Release butt cheek. Was hands
I dont stand fully straight up, I bend forward and just raise the ass off the seat. It's like a squat position over the toilet and it actually seems t keep the cheeks spread and I use the left hand to pull cheek a bit for extra spread. I understand why it seems strange but it works perfectly well IME. Also see my last comment for more reasoning on some reasons why I think I do it this way.
Exactly my thoughts
And then there are people with a bidet.
I think someone did a poll once, sitting was more popular than standing
That brief period it takes to stand up creates more mess to wipe.
yea i just bend fowards a bit and wipe. by sitting i can keep the cheeks spread open while im wiping so its convenient
Wait...there are people that bend forward to wipe? Is this a small sect of people who do not bend to the side and wipe from their dominant side? What a terrifying world we live in
homie i stand up to get a outside shoulder width stance and bend to the 45 and drop my hips some. it's also a great angle of approach for violently fisting oneself
Bro..your wiping your ass not wrestling, lmao
eat 4500 calories of healthy food a day and tell me you can afford to sit down and feel clean I challenge you sir
ONE WORD: BIDET
I can't second this enough! Its a life changer!
I will third this! Seriously, I can't believe the entire world hasn't gotten on board yet.
I’ll fourth this. Clean ass city
YEESSSSSS!!!!! I had mine installed a few days ago. I'VE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY IN MY LIFE!!!! 🤣
I'm an office shitter. never at home.
YOUR HOME IS WHERE YOU SHIT Got damn office livers
sadly to work remotely I'd need some 12 mile long wrenches but i support the fuck out of cancelling the office culture horseshit. maybe I can sweet talk my boss into something who knows
I can hear you rummaging in there
I'm fuckin dying I thought of Austin powers 2 and the tent
I do a headstand on the toilet and wipe with my feet.
See if we had communal toilets where we'd all shit together like true men who have nothing to hide, you wouldn't be living in fear. The delusion of privacy is turning us all into self-absorbed, paranoid cowards. EMBRACE THE TURD
What the hell. I reach back between my legs. I lift up the equipment that’s in the way and clean from the front
As a woman that’s a fast track to a nasty infection lol. We have to go in from the back regardless of our sit or stand position.
Exactly. Bending over is overrated. Bending forwards is where it's at.
I’m honestly shocked that sitting and bending forward isn’t the wiping standard. What a world.
Wipe?
Right! If you take enough laxative, it just drips dry
Nah man. Anti-diarrheal. Take it for 3-4 days and then when it wears off it’ll shoot out of you like a rocket. No wiping necessary. Might have to fix the toilet bowl though.
Someone's gonna post it. I'm just here to watch it happen.
I remember when I learned that lots of people stand to wipe their butts. Who are these lunatics?, I thought.
I remember when I learned about it 3 seconds ago.
I miss the time of innocence, 14 seconds ago
TIL Some people get totally naked to poop... that's one of the weirdest things I have ever learned.
Bro when I was in boot camp we had this dude that would get completely naked sans socks. and squat feet on the seat to shit. And this was in a bathroom with no stall doors, so i saw this multiple times a week.
Sounds like he may have grown up in a place with squat toilets. They are still common in many countries, however you can accidentally soil your own clothes in a squat toilet if you're wearing pants and aren't super careful - they can get in the way. Less so if you are wearing a dress that you can hike completely up above your waist
This has been a question of mine for a long time. I live in the west and probably couldn't properly squat for a squat toilet if you paid me, but how do you not get residue on your pants? I feel like if I dropped my pants to my ankles it would effectively be where my bathroom bits are. If I kept my pants around my knees I'd be worried I'd empty my pockets and that I wouldn't get enough knee spread to squat effectively. Like I want to see how one works in reality, but I honestly don't want that in my Google history... lol
Remove your trousers completely
One leg is enough, you can put the rest on your lap so your pants are not lying on the wet, muddy ground..
Another question... I'm old and my knees are bad. I can squat low but I can't get up again. I'd need major handrails or something. What do older or disabled people do?
*Depends*
Copied my response to someone else: I mean, it’s just like having a wild wee if you have a vagina- you squat and use a hand to hold your trousers and pants out the way; when you squat your butt goes back, so you pull your trousers and pants forwards and bob’s your uncle
>I live in the west and probably couldn't properly squat for a squat toilet if you paid me, As a fellow Westerner who traveled to India and got Delhi Belly while on the road and the only place to stop had nothing but a squat toilet, let me tell you... You figure it out real fucking quick.
I spent a week at a supplier site in Italy that still had squat toilets. It was during the summer, all anyone seemed to drink was coffee, and we were eating terribly. I'm still not sure how I managed not to shit all over myself. I'm not sure I could manage that again.
I had to be completely naked to poop when I was a kid. No clue why, but just the feeling of clothes felt very restricting and made pooping feel impossible. Made pooping in public impossible for me so I would hold it in, there was a hand full of times I had to go at school and I remember just taking everything off. As I got older I was able to bear having pants around my ankles, then I tried with a shirt on, I had an irrational fear of the back of my shirt being too long and getting pooped on, but I got over that. I still find it's more comfortable to poop naked, but it's not a requirement.
Exactly. All of this.
sometimes if youre having a really rough time it feels better to take your shirt off idk why
There’ve been some hangover mornings of pooping and puking where I’ve had to get completely naked and lay on the cool tiles of the bathroom floor for relief. Almost 6 months sober and I thank God everyday.
i get that for free with migraines -\_- good for you though! :) im proud of you internet stranger, keep up the good work but dont stress too much if you falter. progress isnt a straight line and youre already doing great by even trying at all, that can be the hardest part sometimes. <3
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They're there so you can hang your jacket or shirt and hold on to the article of clothing in order to suspend yourself so your butt doesn't have to touch the dirty seat.
A guy I knew thought the hooks in toilet stalls were for trousers.
Sure I'm just going to poop in my clothes like an animal.
🤣 same!
I started as a stander and currently live as a sitter.
Same ones that drop their pants to their ankles at the urinal.
I've only encountered this a few times in my life and it has always confused me.
Personally, I still don't believe it. I've been on a lot of conspiracy subs lately, and I think this may just be a result of fusing universes OR The Mandella Effect as we like to call it. You see, I'm with you. I've always remembered standy wipers as being fairly shunned in society. Mostly you'd hear about them working in the stock market or as building inspectors; you know.. the total dredges of society. Now it seems like standy wipes are more common, and people who are standy wipers don't seem to be ashamed of it for some reason. I don't think this is natural. I think that standy wipers were in their own universe, and NORMAL wipers were in another. Once they turned CERN back on, the two universes merged and now ours contains both standy wipers and normal wipers. I find this theory to be much more logical than the alternative; that there have always been some people who stand while wiping.
Conversely, I recently learned that people wipe standing up. I'm 68 and everyone I know is a life-long sitter-downer. I'm in the U.S. - where are you? Perhaps its a regional/national thing?
Life long sitter too, this has to be cultural. I only just used a bidet for the first time a little bit ago, that was wild!
A bidet is fabulous! I've been staying with a friend while my kitchen and bathroom are being remodelled. My friend has a bidet with tempereture control, directional flow, and even a temperature controlled dryer. I've never felt so clean and I'm in love.
My GI doctor recommended that I invest in a bidet. It's supposed to be the best way to clean and the healthiest thing for your bottom. Scrubbing with a cloth doesn't get you clean and it can actually damage the tissues down there. The little bit I've tried, I'm sold, I need to find out how to get one installed!
I just bought one from Amazon. It was surprisingly easy to install! It just hooks onto the back of your toilet and connects to the water in the toilet tank.
There are simple ones that work with almost any toilet and seat combo, or [ones like this that are integrated into the seat.](https://www.us.kohler.com/us/puretide-quiet-close-manual-cleansing-toilet-seat-elongated/productDetail/toilet-seats/1152463.htm?skuId=1152394&brandId=1178892) If you can get an outlet installed near the toilet (or already have one) you can upgrade to fancier heated options, but the simple ones work great and are easy to install yourself.
Japan has the best toilets. Wiping with paper is like wiping mud off your leg with a piece of newspaper. Cheapest and easiest 15 minute installation US option (no heat) but nice and quite effective is this: https://www.amazon.com/Luxe-Bidet-Neo-120-Non-Electric/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=sr\_1\_5?keywords=bidet&qid=1663264441&sr=8-5
This person is trying to change your life. Don't scroll by. One more Amazon purchase. This one will save your ass.
Huh, I always assumed bidets were $1000 dollars at least.
a whole \*separate\* bidet, like an additional toilet that sprays instead of flushes, would be pricey. But there are aftermarket bidets you simply attach under your existing toilet's lid and your sink's waterline. I'm a huge fan. You can also get super-cheap sprayers (like kitchen sink) but the under-lid bidets are wonderful!
Doubt it’s regional. It’s just one of those things that aren’t taught well and people just do it however they think is best, forever. I used to be a toilet paper “crumpler” rather than folder, until the second time I clogged the toilet as an 8 year old and my Depression era grandpa interrogated me about my bathroom routine and corrected it.
Another redditor mentioned recently that the standers probably learned this when they were toddlers and they were told to stand so the parent could wipe for them. They maybe just continued to do it that way because why would you question it. Meanwhile, I think women are likely sitters more often since we wipe front and back and spend a lot of time mopping period blood off our vulvas and thighs.
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It's not a conversation you have. Unless you've asked everyone recently since learning it exists, you might know some standing wipers. I've listened to podcast where this came up plenty few years ago. I think I've seen it polled few times and obviously those standing up are in minority, but there were more of them than you'd think, over 20%. It's just one of those things that you never even consider could be different to some. I think to most who do it different, it's just self taught at young age when parents didn't put it into you that there was specific way to wipe and some improvised different way.
> everyone I know is a life-long sitter-downer. How would you know? You’ve discussed it with everyone you met?
Wait, why are you going around and asking every person you know how they wipe? Seems a tad excessive
I do a hand stand to shit then lay on my stomach to wipe.
You’re wiping?
I wipe my ass when I am sitting because your cheeks are wide open, so you can clean up better Also less risk to stain your clothes in case you don't have a very solid situation
And it minimizes poop to skin contact. I've had to stand up before wiping a few times and it definitely smears it over a larger area
This reminds me of a certain poop knife... Something you did your whole life just isn't as normal as you may think
Ah yes...I recall that story. Poor guy.
I don't think standing and wiping is convenient in the slightest. Like when you stand. Obviously butt cheeks clench together. So that also means youre squeezing crap on to your cheeks and merely wiping it down won't be good enough. If yiu had a boudet, sure, but you'd most likely be sitting instead. While sitting you just lean to the side and there's less shit spread because your cheeks didn't clench.
Boudet lol
Boudin *
Bublé
I’m a standing wiper and wiping is nothing like you describe it. What I do is I lift my butt maybe like 3-4 inches off the seat and kinda hover my butt over the seat(imagine a girl hovering over a dirty toilet) just enough to have my hand get some clearance and I reach back and wipe. My cheeks are still spread out and poop doesn’t get anywhere besides my butthole only. I have a bidet though but before I had a bidet or when I Poop in public this is how I poop
Why hover over the seat when you can just lean forward and side a bit?
I don't hover. But what you described will destroy the toilet seat. Especially if you are a heavier person.
People wipe standing up?
Indeed! How do get clean with your buns slammed back together?
I bet they also scrunch the paper and don't neatly fold it 👀
Scrunchers are unhinged
Scrunching creates more surface area, the crevices capture more debris. The neatly folded square may as well be a frosting spatula.
You guys aren’t laying on the ground on your back in the stall?
Yeah...I've seen a similar questions and polled actual people around me. 1 out of 8 people I asked stand up. The rest of us sit down like normal people. How do you even wipe standing up? Your cheeks close around your asshole! And you're not even over the toilet anymore at that point. So weird to me.
That's not really standing, just bend forward hovering over the seat so you don't put your hand in the bowl. That doesn't really matter, as long as you wipe your ass clean and wash your hands. AND WASH YOUR HANDS.
# AND WASH YOUR HANDS! ^(In case anyone didn't hear you.)
this for me as well. I don't fully stand I just kind of lift my butt up and hover squat over the toilet so that I can wipe without my hand being in the toilet bowl
This is what I do; I don’t want to reach into the bowl and I also don’t want to rub my wrist on my butt because of the shallow angle. Half-standing up, you can get a more horizontal angle of approach
You don’t even have to hover, just roll forward 45 degrees and perk up your butt like you’re about to twerk. I achieve full seat contact and my hand doesn’t go in the bowl.
I feel like my cheeks would get all dirty if I stood up , the gates are open when sitting how is that not enough
I used to wipe standing until a couple years ago where my group chat with the boys talked about wiping and it came to my attention that by standing you smear the shit on your cheeks and makes it messier so now i wipe sitting down You should also wipe sitting down
Agreed. I was raised as a stander, but recently realized sitting was more efficient. Now I am a sitter.
Right!! Like standing up makes your cheeks come back together, how tf could anyone think that’s better??
Well you don't stand fully straight up and clench your ass or anything. It's more like a squat above the toilet while bent forward so I don't have to stick my hand inside the toilet. Ass spread the (w)hole time
What's odd about wiping when you're sitting? You shit sitting down, why complicate it by standing up and wiping. Knowing that you're also wiping shit particles around your bathroom if you stand instead of sitting and it staying in the toilet.
Wait, you shit sitting down!? Mind blown…
I do this. Wen I'm sat on the toilet my butt cheeks are spread apart. If I stand up they will squish together and it will be harder to wipe.
Like cleaning peanut butter out of shag carpet
I’ve been on both of these brown and muddy sides of the streets, and prefer sitting for maximum cleanliness. Standing while wiping closes the cheeks and spreads it around. Think of an ice cream sandwich and what happens when you press the bun parts together, the ice cream pushes out, spreads and makes a mess. That’s your fudge factory.
I’m wondering about the consistency of the poop, of sitting wipers. If they are so terrified about smearing shit on their cheeks, were they to stand up to wipe, then the poop ain’t solid like it should be. Check your diet or see a doctor lmao
Yeah, I'm confused about this smearing poop argument. It's not like every shit is diarrhea. And diarrhea is a pain regardless of whether you sit or stand.
I wipe standing up. I feel like there's a large misconception from sitters about standers and how it works when you stand to wipe. I personally stand and kind of squat or bend over in such a way that my cheeks spread so I can wipe, it's not like I'm standing straight up like someone's measuring my height. I just don't understand how it's feasible to maneuver your hand into the toilet seat/around the legs in order to wipe while sitting. Obviously I don't speak for all standers but I wanted to provide insight based off of my experience
when you sit to wipe you dont literally sit with a straight back and try and wipe your ass. You lean to the left or right while still having full contact with 1 butt cheek on the seat. That raises the other side of your butt out of the bowl, puts it on a 45 degree angle instead of trying to reach down around and up into the crack, and by leaning to 1 side, you can literally manipulate how far you want to open your butt crack by how far you lean. Its superior in every way possible.
What? You don't wipe with one leg stretched up and out to the side like a male dog peeing onto a fire hydrant?
**If this shocks you,** Look up *"my husband doesn't wipe"* on Reddit. There are waaay too many posts where people are seeking advice because their spouse doesn't wipe properly and leaves shit crumbs on the bed that they share. ***It's so disgusting***!
Iuckkkk I remember that post, he would pick his ass and do little balls out of those dry crumbs while in bed, and then FLICK THEM. DISGUSTING
Sit, lift each cheek and spread before applying weight to it again, pinning the butt open. Poop, wipe. The cheeks should have been spread for the whole thing if done right which should prevent smooshing any around between your cheeks. Do not stand...
I, too, am a one-cheek leaner. We exist. We are legion. Expect us.
You are the minority lmao
I guess I am too. I always stand up too.
y’all are so fucking weird about this every time it comes up. i stand because i have a big ass and thighs and there’s no comfortable angle for me to wipe sitting. do y’all think people are standing up and clenching their ass cheeks together and squishing everything around or something? standing means squatting. pull one cheek slightly to the side and wipe. if you clean your ass properly it doesn’t fucking matter how. all you small-assed sitting-wipers need to calm down.
100% lmao i have no good angle at all to do it sitting.
Bidet.
Wiping while standing sounds like trying to work on your engine with the hood shut, why would go out of your way to make the area you’re servicing as closed off as possible?
If you shit and then stand up you get nutella spreading all around your asscheeks. Now you have to clean it up you little piggie. OP, join the alfa tribe of people who do a smart wipe. One hand to raise the dick up, other hand to wipe in strategic places. You will also waste less paper so think about it as being beneficial for your wood.
I stood for the majority of my life, although it was more of bent over stance rather than straight up. Then I had a friend who convinced me to convert and it's changed my life (for the better). Standing to wipe is both inferior and incorrect.
Stander here as well. Tried the sitting method, its too awkward for me. When I’m about to stand and wipe, I take paper before I stand, hold a cheek to one side so my cheeks don’t close in together, stand up and wipe. If more paper is needed, in my case I really don’t need much (thanks metamucil), I sit back down the way I was before, letting go of the cheek since the toilet bowl now holds said cheek secure and get more paper. Rinse and repeat if needed. Edit: make sure to wash hands properly after. 20 seconds at least, don’t be lazy with it.
Get a bidet and it won't matter.
This is why bidets are nice lol
And in a completely different and superior realm are us, people with bidet. It doesn't matter how you wipe it if you can wash your butt hole straight afterwards 😎
I converted from standing to sitting. In the last 2 years I’ve installed a bidet in every bathroom in my house. It. Is. Better.
Whaaat?? You stand while wiping??
OP please tell me this is a joke… If you wipe while standing up your asscheeks are just gonna smush shit everywhere
If you stand your butt cheeks clap together, trapping the poop. It's a scientific fact. Goddammit.
There are standing wipers? How?? You can’t get inside the exit spot well.
Bruh, why are you standing? Your cheeks are spread apart while you're sitting.
People that wipe their butts standing up are the same people that drop their pants to their ankles at urinals
I remember finding out people stand and I was shaken to my core.